I Don't Think Fic Writers Know How Much They Matter

I don't think fic writers know how much they matter

Do you know how many times you distracted me when I was hurt or lonely? Do you know how many times a line or a scene from fanfic marked me so much that I remembered years later, even though I can’t recall my own phone number? 

Even if the fic isn’t perfect or popular or multi-chaptered… Sometimes there’s just one sentence that changed me.

You, miles and miles away, changed me.

gold is dull. || jjk || masterlist.

your once-love abandoned you to chase his dreams as a boxer, leaving you and unknowingly, at the time, his son. as much as you want to forget him, you can't. you see him on the billboard, tv commercials, and in your son's room, reminding you of everything you once were.

“mommy! please take me to golden boy's fight! he’s fighting here! in our hometown. please, mommy. for my birthday? i wanna see him in person!”

pairing: jeon jungkook x female reader

genre: boxer!jk, dilf!jk, single mom! oc, heavy angst, ex-boyfriend, eventual smut, fluff

warnings: financial struggles, mentions of off-screen death, angst, blood, fighting, mentions of pregnancy, *will be updated with every chapter *each chapter will have a warning tab

posting schedule: new chapter every tuesday!! (unless otherwise noted)

ও moodboards ✩ playlist ❦ outfits

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➺ chapter 1: "jungkook, the person you once believed was the love of your life, has turned into the stranger of your life."

fluff // smut // angst

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New Year, New You | JJK

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: romance, angst, smut, age gap, non-Idol!AU

Rating: M (18+)

Warnings: swearing, drinking, making out, neck marking, mentions of cumming, multiple references to sex, reader is several years older than Jungkook, Jungkook is basically temptation itself, sorry this got angsty but reader has a lot on her mind

Word Count: 1.8K

Disclaimers: NSFW, obviously I don’t own BTS - they just inspire me

Summary: New year, new you. Except here you are, minutes after midnight, already falling back into old habits. You just can't resist.

A/N: Thank you for sending in a request, anon! Once again, I failed to keep it to a drabble, but I hope you enjoy. 💕

Yes, it's July, and yes, I'm out here writing NYE fics. That's just how it goes sometimes.

A special thank you to @minttangerines for being my rock, the Yoongi to my Tae, and encouraging me to embrace the angst. I still don't know where it's coming from, but I guess it's here to stay. 💜

Masterlist 💜 Find me on AO3 💜 Join my permanent taglist

"Three! Two! One! Happy New Year!"

A cheer goes up from the living room. As you raise your champagne flute to your lips in celebration, you realize he's watching you again.

You knew this would happen. It's how it always goes at these events. Dark eyes inevitably finding yours across the room. Lips quirking, a half smirk, teasing you. Knowing you know what's on his mind. Because it's usually what's on yours.

Usually. But not tonight.

You take advantage of the crush of partygoers around you drunkenly butchering "Auld Lang Syne," and quickly disappear into the swaying crowd. The Jeons really outdid themselves tonight. It seems like half the town has gathered in their home to greet the new year.

Wandering into the kitchen, you spot your mother and Mrs. Jeon in deep conversation. Your mother sees you approaching and pulls you in for a big hug. "Happy New Year, darling!"

"Happy New Year," you mumble into her shoulder, and then it's Mrs. Jeon's turn to crush you close.

"We were just talking about our resolutions, dear," Mrs. Jeon informs you. "Do you have one?"

"I know what it should be," your mother interjects. "To give her wonderful mother her first grandbaby!"

The two women titter, the countless glasses of wine they've imbibed loosening their lips, and they begin to talk about you as if you're not there, lamenting how you just can't find the right man, how all your friends are happily married and popping out babies left and right while you just can't seem to catch up.

You just nod and smile. It's how it always goes at these events.

Mrs. Jeon picks up a magnum of wine to refill her goblet, gives it a shake, then tips it over. Empty. She shoots you a look. "Would you be a dear and bring us some more wine? There's another bottle of this vintage downstairs, back in - oh, you know where to look!"

You nod, already moving, opening the basement door, pretending you don't hear your mother whisper, "Don't worry, she can't find a man but she can find the wine!" to your retreating back.

Tucked into the far corner of the Jeons's basement is an impressive wine cellar, with hundreds of bottles displayed on shelves that stretch from floor to ceiling. Instead of grabbing a bottle and heading back to the kitchen, you linger, tracing your fingertips over the racks, lost in thought. 

“You’re missing the party, Noona.”

Of course he found you. You turn around. “Just taking a little break, Jungkook-ah.”

He strolls out of the shadows wearing his usual grin. The revelry of the night is evident in his mussed hair and flushed cheeks. His black shirt is slightly unbuttoned, tie long gone, sleeves rolled up. Tattoos dance down his right forearm, piercings glitter in his eyebrow and lip. 

He’s temptation itself. It’s how he always is at these events. 

“I saw you during the countdown. No midnight kiss?” He’s still moving towards you, hands tucked into his pockets, crowding you into the tall shelves. 

“Didn’t have anyone who wanted to.” 

Even though he’s several years younger, he has an inch or two on you, head tipping down to gaze into your eyes. It’s strange how he’s always been able to make you feel so small like this. Delicate. 

Needy.

“You know that’s not true,” he murmurs, thin fingers finding your hip, drawing circles there. His other hand tilts your chin. “All you ever have to do is ask.” 

“I’ll remember that,” you begin, but the rest of your sentence is lost to Jungkook’s lips. He kisses you gently, pressing you into the rack behind you. Cold glass bites your skin where your dress fails to cover you. 

His arms encircle your back, holding you tight. Your hands clutch at his broad chest, his wide shoulders, wrap themselves in his long hair, seeking purchase to steady you as the kiss deepens. When his hand slips down to your thigh, lifting it, opening you up to his straying fingers, you push him away. 

“Jungkook,” you whisper, chest heaving. “Stop. We can’t.” 

“Can’t what?” He drops his mouth to your ear, nuzzles the sensitive skin behind it. It’s your weak spot. A fact he knows all too well, as he shamelessly attempts to exploit it. 

“We can’t do this, with everyone upstairs…”

The smirk on his face electrifies you more than you’d like to admit. “Why not? That’s never stopped us before.” 

That was the old you. The one you left behind when the clock struck midnight. 

He’s moved on to your neck now, insistent nips urging you to reconsider. “Are you worried because they’re waiting for you? They’re already drunk. They won’t notice if you’re gone for ten minutes.” You moan as he sucks on a particularly sharp bite, and he rolls his hips into yours, letting you feel how hard he is. “I can make you come in five, though.” 

From anyone else, that would sound like a laughable brag. From him, it’s merely the truth. 

“No, that’s not it. It’s just that I’m starting over today.” You untangle yourself from his embrace and turn your back to him, scanning the collection behind you for the vintage his mother requested.

“Ah. New year, new you?”

“Something like that.”

“Too bad. I like old you.”

You locate the desired bottle and pull it from the shelf. “Yeah, well, say goodbye, because she’s gone now.” When you spin around again, there’s a familiar glint in his brown eyes. A spark waiting to ignite.

“That’s a shame. I was hoping she’d come home with me tonight.”

Old you definitely would have. 

“Sorry, Kook-ah. It’s time for a change.” 

You take a step forward, but he doesn’t move. Frowning, you nudge him with your elbow, but he won’t budge. You know better than to bother pushing his stubborn ass out of the way. He might not be hulking, but he’s very solidly built. “C’mon, Jungkook, let me by!” 

Instead, he pries the wine from your hands, gingerly placing it back on the rack. He cages you in, one hand on either side of your head as you peer up at him in shock. “Noona. I know why you’re doing this.”

He was always too perceptive for your liking. “You don’t know, Jungkook. You can’t. You’re still young.” He doesn’t have to worry about the things you do. Not yet. 

He winces slightly, but sets his mouth in a firm line. “I’m not that much younger than you.” 

“Six years - “ 

“Is nothing, a - a blip in the entirety of existence, Noona,” he declares emphatically. You don’t respond, your heart nearly beating out of your chest. The intense look on his face isn’t entirely new to you. You’ve spent many nights underneath him, watching that same expression as he brings you to the edge over and over. But you’ve never seen it in this light. 

It takes your breath away.

Jungkook shakes his head. “You always talk like there’s some giant gap between us. Not just age, but everything. Like we live in different worlds. But I understand more than you think. I know what everyone upstairs expects of you.” He sighs, eyes softening as he smiles sadly at you. “I just don’t know why that means things have to change.” 

Your hands flex at your sides, fingers curling into fists. “If you know what’s expected of me, then you should understand. I’m getting older, Jungkook. The pressure is on and it’s getting worse day by day. So I need to start over, as someone else. Because no one wants me as I am. As I’ve been.” 

Something flashes across Jungkook’s face, something dark that makes your pounding heart stutter, and as his left hand cups your cheek, you can’t look away. “You know that’s not true.”

“Kook-ah - “

“I know you don’t take me seriously. That’s why you’ve always treated this,” he gestures between you, “this thing we have as some sort of fling. And I’ve been okay with it. Because even if I only get to be with you for a night, at least I still get to be with you.” 

His words hang in the air as he pauses for breath. Gently, you press your palms to his chest. His heart is hammering just as fast as your own, the rhythm speaking just as loud as words. 

“Kook-ah, since I was little, I’ve known the path my life would take. Every milestone laid out in a perfect line, point to point. I can’t stray from the path for things like ‘want.’”

“Why not?” His question catches you off guard. 

“What?” 

“Why can’t you? It’s your life, Noona. You should be able to live it as you choose. And do whatever you want.” 

You scoff. “You make it sound so easy.” You dig into the soft silk of his shirt, twisting the fabric between your fingertips. 

“It could be. We could do it together.” He smiles as you look up at him in surprise. “We could just say fuck it and do what we want. Which for me, would be to be with you.” He peels your hand from his shirt. You stare at the way his inked fingers entwine with yours. “What do you want, Noona?” 

What you need is to think. But that’s not the question. 

There’s too much to consider. How can you possibly decide anything so important, anything potentially life-altering, while standing in a basement at a New Year’s Eve party? So you narrow it down. Right here, right now, with Jungkook’s hand in yours, his bright eyes shining as he waits for your answer, what do you want most? 

That’s easy.

Brushing your thumb across his cheek, you tell him, “What I want is for you to take me home.” 

His eyes widen for a second before he snaps into action, covering your body with his own as he kisses you fervently.  When he pulls away, he finally moves aside to let you pass. “You go first. Say your goodbyes. I’ll leave in a few minutes and meet you at your place.” 

Grabbing the wine again, you take a few steps, then stop. New year, new you. 

Maybe new you can have him for real. 

You hold out your hand. 

Jungkook glances from your hand to your face and back. Then he grins, strong fingers enveloping your own, and follows you up the stairs. There will be questions, and comments, and so much more to deal with tomorrow. But tonight, you don’t care. 

The warmth radiating from Jungkook as he squeezes your hand flows through you, driving all your fears away. 

It’s how it always goes.  

© 2022 by sunshinerainbowsbts. Crossposted to AO3. Please do not copy or repost.

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Stay With Me Series Collection 

exhusband!jungkook, singledad!jungkook, E2L, angst, fluff, smut

all chapters and drabbles will be uploaded in chronological order

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A Still Day or A Hurricane (05) | JJK

Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader

Genre/Tags: single mom lawyer!OC x pastry chef!Jungkook; angst, fluff, smut; age gap

Chapter Warnings: foul/explicit language; mention of someone’s death; artificial insemination, single parenthood, motherhood, breastfeeding; mention of a murder case, inaccurate law stuff im sry; eventual smut (18+)

Chapter Word count: 8.6k

Status: Ongoing

Series summary: Driven by your perfectionist attitude and need to have everything in order, you planned that by age 30, you’d have made junior partner, bought your own apartment, and have children. You achieved them, of course, and while the last bit required you to take matters into your own hands - no thanks to your ex-boyfriend who dumped you but to your best friend who directed you to a fertility clinic - you’re now a 31-year old who pretty much has her life under control. You’re ready to raise your child on your own, that is, until the 20-something pastry chef flirts his way into your heart, messing up the perfect little life you worked so hard to have for yourself.

Listen to: Film Out (BTS), Sun and Moon (Sam Kim), Say What’s on Your Mind (slchld) || Playlist 🎶

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