Persistent (Kiramager Fanfic)

Persistent (Kiramager fanfic)

Summary:

Takemichi isn't the first person Juuru set his eyes on trying to befriend and support out of admiration for their inherent sparkle. This time though, maybe a little outside interference could help smooth it out a little faster for both sides, at least Sayo thinks so.

Laughter Is A Kind of Music Too (Kiva fanfic)

Summary:

Kengo and Wataru both carry insecurities even if in very different ways, so it only makes sense that of course they'd be the best ot quell the worries of eachother. After all, they were friends right?

You Are Now Apart of My- (Ryuki fanfic)

Summary:

exploration of SatoSano in the little time they had together.

(A commission fic i wrote for @muzzleofnemesis )

Tears in Ebony Arms (kyoryuger fanfic)

Summary:

“...Forgive me…this weakness of mine…”

“Ucchii, this isn’t a weakness, that’s not fair. What happened to you wasn’t fair, none of this is-”

“As all men are made of their choices and experiences, I too am made up of my weaknesses and regrets Ian-dono.”

“You’re not weak, Ucchii. Not for this or anything else.”

“...I’m the weakest man I've ever known.” It sounded almost like a plea, as if he was trying to convince the black ranger beside him of this truth.

“You’re one of the bravest people I know, Ucchii.”

Digimon Teams evolution lines for Sentai Teams

Just a little exercise I did for fun while i was sick a few weeks ago!

Donbrothers: * Momoi - Guilmon - growlmon - wargrowlmon - dukemon - dukemon x antibody(after being brought back the second time) * Shinichi - shamanmon - apemon - piccolomon * Haruka - salamon - blackgatomon - ladydevimon/nefertimon * Kiji - biyomon - akatorimon - sinduramon * Tsubasa - gabumon - lobomon - kendogarurumon * Jiro - labramon - ceasarmon - mihiramon - baihumon * Dangerous Jiro - veemon - xveemon - paildramon - ulforcevdramon * Sonoi - renamon - yaksamon - silphymon - bladeangemon * Sononi - penmon - swanmon - holy angemon * Sonoza - dracmon - musyoumon - gaioumon - "Kaito" - Omnimon x-antibody - Jin - Is a bokomon, dont worry about it

Zenkaiger: * Kaito - omnimon x antibody (he can turn into it once he confronts god) * Juran - agumon - Tyrannomon - Asuramon(with gaon) * Gaon - elecmon - Leomon - Asuramon(with juran) * Magine - palmon - witchmon - fantomon(with vroom) * Vroom - hagurumon - guardromon - fantomon(with magine) * Zox - magnamon(with cutanner)/golden rapidmon(with ricky) - zekegreymon(with zenkaizyu gear) * Stacey - Duskmon/lowemon - kaiserleomon - Raihimon(after becoming the representative of kikaitopia/digital world) - Ricky - dot gaomon - Cuttaner - dot agumon - Flint - jet silphymon

Kiramager: * Juuru - flamon - agunimon - vritramon - emperorgreymon * Tametomo - gotsumon - monochromon - metal mamemon - jijimon * Sena - hawkmon - shurimon - karatemon - gigaseadramon * Shiguru - gomamon x antibody - tylomon - mach gaogamon - magnagarurumon * Sayo - lunamon - sistermon ciel - cho-hakkaimon - beelstarmon * Takemichi - can turn into baalmon - can turn into beelzemon(2010 version) - mabushiina - is a kazemon - queen of crystallia - is an ancientirismon - oridon - is a valduramon - galza - is a darkness bagramon - Muryou - Toyagumon - Wizardmon - vademon

Ryusoulger: * Koh - agumon x antibody - tyranomon x antibody - metal tyranomon - rust tyranomon * Melt - Agumon black - allomon - triceramon x antibody - ouryumon * Asuna - armadillomon - ankylomon - vermillimon - cannondramon * Towa - liollmon - liamon - loader leomon - heavy leomon * Bamba - gammamon - wezen gammamon - canoweissmon - spinomon * Canolo - jellymon - tobiumon - mermaimon- pleisiomon * Nada - monodramon - dinohumon - cyberdramon - justimon

Lonely Together (Donbrothers fanfic)

Summary:

It was not only death that pushed people to mourn, loss took many forms and the solace people sought to deal with it took equally as many. Sonoi was learning that more and more as he spent time with an unlikely of companions, but maybe not one who was so different.

To read on AO3, follow the link below. To read here, continue past the read more!

“I have always wondered something, Momotani Jirou.”

The gold ranger in question hummed in attention, his mouth too stuffed with a large daikon slice from the bowl of oden in his lap, a matching one in Sonoi’s own. Some time after Jirou settled in with his now only option of residence after everything from the revelations of his home town to Momoi’s departure, he had tried to make his small house(if one was generous enough to call it such a thing) a bit more his own. He had gotten help from Sonoi of all people in adding on a small porch deck to the back of the building, which is where they both found themselves now seated this early evening. 

“The jacket…did it manifest only for the other one?”

Jirou had to hold a hand over his mouth, keeping himself from reflexively spitting anything out as he swallowed hard to instead push down what he had. He reflexively coughed into his fist anyway, Sonoi looking at him in mild concern.

“Y-you…that’s what you’ve held on to all this time?” His words were stilted half through coughing and half through the traces of a laughter rising up past his lips. Sonoi took a small bite out of an egg, politely chewing it slowly before gracing him with a response.

“You didn’t need to be in your combat transformation form to switch between the two of you, and yet your physical attributes and articles of clothing changed. I always wondered about it, though it never exactly seemed something time allowed me to broach given the circumstances before now.”

Jirou hummed, his laughter dying quickly at the implications of such a statement. It was said with casual remark, but he wasn’t blind to how mentions of the past were like walking on glass with the blue clad noto. He was not a volatile man, but he was a deeply sentimental one and be it not Jirou to be the first to upset him especially when they had only now started to allow anything close to companionship to begin. He carefully placed his bowl beside him, using his freed up lap to lean forward with his elbows on his knees and his chin in his hand.

“Well, I made it for him when I made my own clothes before we started out for the city here. He wanted something that was his own since before we tended to dress pretty simply and didn’t really differentiate from each other. We used to switch a lot more often back home, he was more comfortable with the place and people than here and he didn't want any of our friends to question who was with them. We shared that place and those people, even if…well...even if it wasn’t real exactly.

A-anyways though, once we got here he said he wanted to fight on his own sometimes too and so he wanted people to tell us apart, ‘so our enemies know who they’re facing’ or something like that.” 

Jirou smiled fondly, absently running his free hand along the hem of his pants leg. “To be honest with you, I think it’s just because he wanted something that made him look bigger and scarier and that was warm. Plus, our clothes look pretty cool right?”

Jirou let his warm gold eyes flick up to Sonoi’s intense blue and offered a cheeky smile and a chuckle. Sonoi smiled in return though much smaller, offering a vague shrug.

“It’s not to my tastes, however… it is well made.”

Jirou sighed but the smile didn't drop from his expression.

“I’ll take my wins where I can.”

“So because it was his, he…kept it? Does it work like that?”

“Mmmm, I think only for us. Or at least people like us; because we have the powers that come with the don clan and being don brothers, he was able to do it. Otherwise he’d probably just have to carry it around or put it on and off when he was in control normally? He only wore it inside when he was about to switch though.”

“Inside?”

Ah! Umm..so in our…head? Heart? I'm not too sure, but inside us is kind of a place we go to when the other one is using our body. It kinda looked like the old shrine by the school we used to play at as kids, like this small little courtyard surrounded by trees and the rundown shrine. We would wait for each other there or sometimes we could both talk there if whoever was on the outside focused really hard. We didn't…ah...this is weird to explain to someone else.”

Sonoi only offered a genuinely interested and open expression, and not seeing any judgment or disbelief in his face, Jirou hesitantly pushed onwards.

“Well, we didn't always look like…this? When he’s inside and I was talking to him there, he looked like we did as a little kid from when we first met Rumi-chan and Sago and the others. He didn't look like how he looked to you unless he was in control and changed how he looked inside to talk to me or we talked outside sometimes. That was also something we couldn’t do until we left home I think, probably because of our powers manifesting around that time.”

“Is that where he is now? In that place within you both?” 

Jirou shook his head, placing a hand against his heart and then sliding it down towards his diaphragm as he spoke.

“He’s somewhere deeper I think…he’s still in there, and when he wants to he can still speak to me and every once in a while I'm pretty sure he comes out when I'm asleep too, it’s just…we don’t talk very often anymore, not like before. He was always always here before, whether he was talking to me all the time or he was fighting me for control and with us in battle. But now it’s more like…I can feel him, sometimes I can hear something in the back of my mind I'm sure is him, but he won’t respond to me most of the time. We…I have to find my own path, and do things on my own and become my own hero. That’s what he said, and he’s right I'm sure. But it does get a lot lonelier sometimes, with just me all the time. I’ve never…I’ve never been alone before now, so it’s a lot to adjust to…”

He offered a weak chuckle, embarrassed to admit the truth he had been holding onto ever since that day in the woods on his own, having spent weeks of mourning a life he hadn't truly had. He had never hurt like that before in his whole life, he felt sick constantly with how overwhelmed he felt. His whole world had been ripped out from under him, the people he had grown to love and depend on having never been there, the point of his birth having felt like a lie for a much worse purpose. It was too cruel for him to really understand, his heart constantly felt like it was falling apart. He could tell his other self felt similarly, never taking control because within their world he mourned in his own ways and though they had each other in that pain, they had the kindness to not look upon the other’s grief more than necessary. 

When his other half had, in the throes of that, admitted outright his own pain and sadness only to thrust Jirou into focus and to delve somewhere deep within them he couldn't follow, he was confused and hurt beyond belief. He didn't think it was meant as an act of cruelty, it really was Jirou’s own way of pushing the other to overcome an obstacle, but with as much as it gave him the jumpstart and courage to push forward, it hurt to be so alone in such a horrible time. The pain lessened as he tried to lean into his friends he had now, finding friends where he never thought he would too in Sonoi, but…

Jirou startled from his thoughts, not realizing how long it had drawn out since he stopped speaking when he felt a hand tentatively rest between his shoulder blades. Sonoi’s gaze wasn't warm or coddling with sweet words on his lips, nor was it cold and full of judgment. Instead he was simply…there. A true schooled neutrality, but he was there and he was listening and that was as warm as the sun kissing skin with the morning rays to Jirou.

“Someone who completed you, being so close and yet you cannot reach them yourself, I…can understand that emotion. It is a hard burden to bear, being the one left behind…I do not mean to overstep by-”

“Ah, no, no! It’s okay, I… I don't think that’s reaching too much really at all, honestly. I appreciate it…”

They lapsed into a somewhat awkward silence, food forgotten in bowls at their sides for now and simply letting the presence of another person fill up the moment over words. They sat there for a while, the late sun sinking to give way to early evening. The city washed out most the stars from where Jiro’s porch looked out to, but the deeper blues of night overtaking the grayish blue of day was a sight in its own right too. Sonoi let himself get lost in it, doing his best to pick out any exceptionally bright stars fighting their way against the light pollution anyways in the city around them. It was a task that held his attention enough that he didn't at first realize something shift in the frame of the man at his side, his hand still in place on his back.

He didn't properly take notice until he felt Jirou suddenly stiffen sharply under his touch, not quite pulling away but his back almost reflexively arching away from his palm so he pulled it back, quick to glance over in concern. Jiro had not been touch averse by any means as far as he had known him, often with Sonoi being subjected to the other more than vice versa. Then again, that was Don Doragokuu. The man at his side now however, was no longer such person.

Jirou’s eyes were outlined with deep red, silver sharp eyes sliding over to meet Sonoi’s gaze as an involuntary shudder made its way down his back as if shedding something from his skin before he outright shook himself out where he sat. His white coat seemed to drown him a bit when sitting, and the way he reached up to dig nails into his neck as he grabbed at his own throat seemed a bit more painful than usual, like he was unsure how to handle himself and with Jiro no longer keeping his nails so bluntly short, Sonoi briefly wondered if he might actually break skin now.

“You still ask too many questions…Sonoi.”

Sonoi let his lips quirk up in a small smile, tilting his head  a bit at the other man.

“The most persistent of wolves will wear down their prey with time.”

Jirou glared, a loud huff pushing out of him before he let himself glance around them both, taking in their location and then looking himself over.

“Mn…this’ new…” he nose crinkled a bit as he let his gaze slide back over to the noto who had sat patiently for the other to address him further or not. “You…your scent is different now.”

“Pray tell then, what do I smell like, Momotani Jirou?”

Jirou made some kind of rough noise in the back of his throat at the formal address, and he leveled the other man with a strong gaze directly into his eyes. “Sorrow…it clings to you now. Like you don't know what to do with it.”

Sonoi swallowed nervously, unsure how ready he was to have his first real address of this Jirou be about something he wouldn't even voice in full to Sonoza and Sononi, not even to himself most days. So he simply stared back, not backing down, but unwilling to be the one to engage further. Stalling.

Jirou flexed his “claws” as he sat there, not breaking the staring contest between them as he seemed to crack and pop every joint he could move in their seated positions, somehow manifesting a stiffness in their body that he was sure the other Jirou had not felt just minutes earlier. He only gave pause in his focus when he ran the back of his hand across his forehead, and with a grumble he reached up to start preening at his hair, pulling it forward and to the side despite the product that was most certainly holding it in place nowadays. He let a low growl drag past his bared teeth, frustration growing as he was unable to dislodge it in what was apparently a style he was not in favor of.

“Allow me?”

Jirou huffed, but after looking Sonoi up and down in some kind of appraisal, he nodded stiffly. Sonoi chuckled softly and moved to shuffle forward until he slid off the side of the low porch, moving to bend down now on the ground so he was level with the still seated “tiger”. He reached forward and without hesitation as he might have had in the past, he gently began running his fingers through brown locks repeatedly from hairline to the back of the other’s head, trying to coax the spray to crack and free even a bit to free hair from its stiff position. With how it had been combed back before being set, it was likely just the top layer was actually stiff so if he tried to break up the top layer, the rest would be easier to return to a more familiar style.

Jirou, to his credit, didn’t make much noise beyond a soft almost imperceptible sound from deep in his chest, Sonoi struggled to place it quite yet and simply continued his ministrations. Jirou let silver eyes slide closed once Sonoi got into a rhythm, even leaning his head into the touch somewhat whether he realized it or not. Sonoi didn't stop, outright massaging into the other’s scalp now to make sure it was as broken up and would pull on odd stiffened strands as it was styled before he began to do his best to part the other’s hair. If he recalled correctly, this Jirou parted it down the middle and tucked it back a bit in favor of combing it back like the other did so often now or the bangs that threatened to fall into their eyes like a curtain if hair was left to brush forwards.

“You…Jirou trusts you…trusts like the other ones he fights with, not because Taro said he should.”

“Is...that so?”

“Both smell of loneliness...he’s not as lonely with you though. If that’s the case…”

He let himself drop off, exhaling heavily  as he rubbed at his throat once again. He made a face of discomfort, which stilled the fingers in his hair briefly as Sonoi leaned forward a bit on instinct as if to inspect him.

“Jirou?”

“Words are…it’s been too long. Jirou always did the talking for us, but now I don't speak with him or other’s anymore. Easier to feel than speak, can give feelings to Jirou and he can act on them without needing me to tell him what to do.”

Sonoi nodded sympathetically, though honestly the feeling that came to his heart was closer to envy than understanding. Oh, if only it were so easy to have given his heart like that and all its pangs before he even understood it… it wouldn't have changed the end, but maybe the before could have been…

He hadn’t thought about where his hands had stilled exactly against the other’s head, his thumb that sat against the other’s cheek while his long fingers at his temples, poised to have started another run through of his air before being stopped. He didn't think about how close he was placing his fingers into the jaws of a beast without a care until he felt a sharp pain in his thumb, enough to make him reflexively shout but, as he tried to pull away, he felt his hand snag. Jirou has bitten down firm and hard on the thumb of his left hand, his oversharp canines digging in enough to draw blood and he didn’t let go with a nip either.

“Wh-what are you-!”

“Quit wallowing in it.” His tone was hard and scathing, and if he weren't still stuck in this awkward position he would have likely flinched away at the words. But here he was still held, and so he had to take it head on.

“I’ve not been unaware of what happened since Jiro finally became leader like he was supposed to. It wasn’t how I wanted it, but it’s not my choice; it needed to be his. I know what happened to Momoi Taro. I was listening and seeing what Jiro saw, feeling what he felt…I remember the day when all of you were so full of sorrow, that last fight… could choke on it.”

He bit down once more a bit harder than the first time before releasing Sonoi’s digit, he didn't bother wiping at the bit of blood rubbed off onto his upper lip nor did Sonoi bother seeing to his injury, he simply crouched where he had ended up half pulled away before and listened.

“Jirou couldn’t wallow in our sadness forever, ‘couldn’t let him get lost in it and forget why we came here. What we were born to do. So I took some of it and I put it where he couldn't get to it. Still hurts, but…”

“Manageable?”

“Manageable.”

“I…I’m not able to do such a thing. I don’t have another-”

“Excuses. You have the other two, you have Jirou. Yours are outside, but it’s all the same. One person can’t carry it and still move forward, too heavy…you’re choking on it.”

He reached a hand up to his hair, doing a once through of it and he hummed in satisfaction before returning his attention to the noto in front of him. He reached forward in a too-quick grab, nails digging into his forearm with a bit too much pressure, but Sonoi let the other guide his own hand over his chest until his palm was over his heart. He looked down in confusion before looking back up at Jiro.

“You’re alive.”

“I’m-”

“Now prove it.”

Sonoi audibly gasped in surprise, but once again before he could get a word in edgewise, Jirou let go of him and all but pushed him back to the ground before turning his attention to the by-now certainly cold oden. Jirou picked up the bowl and after a few moments of consideration, he sighed heavily before practically shoveling down what was left of the serving. Sonoi blinked at him in bafflement, taking the moment to make his way back to sit on the edge of the porch where he had started the evening off.

Another sigh as he finished. “ Miss this taste… odd that it’s Jirou’s now…” 

The bowl was set to the side and he leaned back on his palm, arms held behind him to catch his weight before he inhaled deeply through his nose. As he exhaled, white silk dissolved away and red stain faded as golden eyes fluttered open and his arms shook a bit as if he had pushed into the position and not braced himself beforehand. He almost fell onto his back if it weren’t for Sonoi reaching forward quickly to place a hand behind his back to catch him. He mumbled his gratitude as Sonoi helped guide him into sitting on his own once more, leaning forward into his own lap a bit with clasped hands against his forehead.

“Are you alright?”

“Mn. Yeah, just a bit of a headache though… did..?”

Sonoi hummed in answer, assuming the question already. “Not for long, but yes. I spoke with the other Momotani Jirou.”

Jirou smiled, some weight seeming to slide off his shoulder it felt as he let himself fall further forward until his head brushed his crossed ankles where he sat.

“He didn’t let me hear all of it this time but…umm…I like when you come to eat dinner with me and watch the sky at my house. It’s nice having someone to share warm food and a pretty sky with again.”

Sonoi let his gaze slide back up to the sky, true night setting in as quickly as always.

“Ah…It is.”