shodowave

Shodowave

She/HerA little place to keep my hoard

722 posts

Please Consider: SY Transmigrates Into LBH

Please consider: SY transmigrates into LBH

SY transmigrates into PIDW as a small orphan child. The streets he live on aren't kind - they're filthy, there's no food, and the other little brats are more than willing to beat each other for scraps. It's brutal! More than any modern man can bear! Please system, take him back to his nice, air-conditioned apartment!

System: Error. User 002's request denied. 😄🎉🎉

SY sighs. He can already tell this is going to suck.

Starving, and with little else to do, he sets off for CQMS. As SY sees it, becoming a disciple or sect servant is currently the best chance he has for survival. At least if he gets accepted, he'll be given something to eat, and maybe even see the protagonist LBH! Of course, he'll have to run for it before the Abyss arc begins - no use staying around just to be killed off. But until then, a meal is a meal! He'll do whatever it takes!

…SY never wants to see another hole ever again! He'd had the good luck to arrive at the mountain gate during the middle of CQMS' disciple selections, but the glee he'd felt over that had soon been carved out of him. For hours, he'd been digging in the dirt, tunneling deeper and deeper with the skinniest fucking arms ever to grace mankind! And all for a dumpling, and a bedroll?! No thanks! SY quits!

...

...SY cannot get out of the hole he's made. Somehow, he'd dug much deeper than head height, and his malnourished arms haven't the strength to pull him back up. SY wants to cry. He might as well have dug out his own grave!

The sun's heat is sweltering now, and SY squints as he gazes up at the sky far, far above.

"...Shit."

SY is going to die. He hasn't even really lived yet, and he's going to die! Again!

He's about to lay down in acceptance of his fate, when a hand reaches into the hole to draw him out of it - like a knight in shining armour pulling him to freedom, or a mother cat dangling its kitten by the scruff of its neck.

In any case, SY looks up with watery eyes at the person who'd saved him. It's an older cultivator - one of the peak lords? Whoever the man is, he's surely the most divine of immortal masters. The most heavenly of gods! Thank you, kind shizun! Your grace in accepting this poor, weak millennial will not be forgotten!

----

…SQQ has no idea what's up with this kid, staring at him with starry eyes, but it's...acceptable. Much better than open scorn, at least. He can mould awe into loyalty. Scorn could only be met with discipline.

SQQ asks for the child's name.

"Shen Yuan! And Shizun…?"

SQQ blinks. An orphan named Shen? What a coincidence. "This master is known as SQQ."

He squints at the child. He can't have the little brat running around, drawing attention to his name and less than proper upbringing. That could invite scrutiny as to SQQ's origins, and SQQ is not revisiting the nightmare of his childhood for anyone.

"Whatever gutter you crawled out of, you will never mention it to anyone, understood?"

He glares at SY until the boy nods timidly, those freakishly bright eyes shining with tears. SQQ sneers at the display. Weak. Pathetic. Like a stupid little sheep.

"Come," he orders, starting to stride off without waiting for reply.

"Y-yes!"

SQQ leads his new disciple back to Qing Jing Peak, and has MF show the filthy little wretch the baths. Once he's clean, he can be put to use.

----

SY is horrified. He takes it back! He doesn't want and food, and he doesn't want to be seen with SQQ! He's grateful for the opportunity, but really, he has to go. If he stays on Qing Jing Peak, LBH will turn him into a popsicle alongside his asshole shizun!

But...is SQQ really all that bad? SY wants to slap himself for thinking it - this is the man that beat and maimed the protagonist, after all! It's just, Shizun seems fairly...normal? Not what he'd expected of a trash tier villain at all.

Sure, SQQ is prickly, and kind of an ass, and he gets really weird if anyone startles him, but he's not evil evil. In fact, excluding his at this point hypothetical treatment of LBH, he's practically lax regarding punishments. SQQ simply doesn't care that much, unless something affects his peak's image, or his preferred tea time. It's all immaterial to him - he has better things to do.

Seriously, the way the novel painted it, SY expected to be beaten bloody for even the slightest infraction. In reality, misbehaviour on QJP usually lands a disciple running laps, or doubling their amount of chores for the month.

...Truthfully, SY's starting to think his shizun's bark is worse than his bite, not that he'd ever say that to SQQ's face. Trust Airplane to mess up such broad strokes of characterisation in his shitty, third rate novel!

However, that's not to say SQQ is all kindness and roses. He's not. He's rude, and abrasive, and he has hit SY - after SY rushed up to a Heart Eyed Purring Snake and nearly got himself killed for his efforts. It wasn't fun exactly, but it was in hindsight - kind of - deserved. Still, it hurt and SY was mad about it for quite a while, until he realised LQG's disciples get beaten worse and with more frequency than anyone on QJP.

Anyway, the point is SY sort of enjoys mooching off CQMS, but he really doesn't want to be here when LBH appears and SQQ inevitably devolves into a raging lunatic. Sorry, Shizun! Your disciple is grateful for your care, but he's also a coward! Best of luck in the afterlife!

But, then SY thinks…perhaps if he befriends LBH, everything will be well? If he sucks up to the little demon emperor well enough, then surely the big demon emperor will spare him when he razes his home to the ground? Plus...SY still thinks it would be cool to meet the protagonist, if only once...

He decides to stay. Just for a little while longer.

----

SQQ finds the new child tolerable.

"Trash," he murmurs, flipping the page of the terrible novel Xiao Hua slipped him the last time he'd visited the Warm Red Pavilion girls. Really, what kind of emperor would disguise himself to seduce a woman? There were already 400 wives waiting for him at home!

"Shizun?"

The voice comes from beside his ear, far closer than he'd prefer to allow. SQQ turns to glare at the obnoxious little brat it came from, but his ire slides over SY like water off a duck's back.

"What are you reading?" the boy asks.

SQQ places the book facedown on the table.

"Did I ask you to speak?"

SY blinks up at him with those stupid, pretty eyes of his. SQQ bites back the urge to scoff.

"Don't look so airheaded," he snaps. "And mind your business. Do you even know what happens to boys who can't keep to thems-?"

He cuts off with a snarl. He shouldn't mention it. Why should he care what happens to pretty, naive children who speak out of turn? SY isn't like NYY. He'll soon grow into less of an obvious target. And he isn't an urchin to be stolen away anymore, either. No, SY has clothes and food and a roof over his head - all for free. He's practically spoiled.

SQQ hates spoiled little brats.

He flicks open his fan to hide his expression - whatever his face had done has that stupid boy looking alarmed.

"Sorry, Shizun," the boy replies. "I'll go get lunch then?"

SQQ huffs. "See that you do."

And the dumb little sheep scurries off to do just that. SQQ's fan slams back down upon his reading desk.

"Idiot creature."

SY is too submissive for his own good. It'll get him hurt one day. See if SQQ helps him then!

----

Later, when SY returns to clean away SQQ's dishes, he happens to discover the book the man was reading left out in the main room. Curious, he scans the room for signs of his shizun's presence, then carefully flips open the first page. He begins to read.

...

"What the hell? What is this knock-off trash?! Emperor Luo Bingge?!! Is there an Airplane in this world, too?!!"

SY is so disgusted, he doesn't notice sly eyes watching him from around the silk screen.

It serves that little brat right for being curious.

----

SY waits years for LBH to show up, but for some reason, he never does. Which is weird, because his system keeps tallying up protagonist satisfaction points! Largely, when SY interacts with Shizun, for some reason...

SY sighs. At least that means he's alive out there somewhere. Hopefully, very, very far away from CQMS. SY may be a big fan of LBH, but he doesn't really want his home destroyed - especially since Shizun only just had a new kitchen installed. Most of the work maintaining it has fallen to SY, due to his excellent (system approved) cooking.

Honestly, SY finds it much more relaxing than he'd expected. When he first transmigrated, he'd thought it was some sort of messed up joke to grant him culinary prowess without also granting him food to eat. Definitely not the kind of skill you'd attribute to some skinny little street rat (or anyone who'd previously poisoned themselves to death).

But now, he's grown into the art. It's fun. Chopping things relieves stress. Boiling things relieves stress.

...

If anyone messes with his spice organisation ONE MORE GODDAMN TIME, he's going to practise his knife skills on them.

...

...SY may or may not be getting anxious. He's started stress baking batch after batch of choc chip cookies everyday. No one can eat that many cookies! SY isn't even certain this universe is meant to have cookies.

"Binghe," he sighs, pulling out today's forth batch from the poor, overworked oven. "Please come soon. This old man's nerves can't take it."

----

SQQ, passing by the kitchen: TF is Binghe? Why is SY waiting for them? SY is my stupid disciple. I own him! 😡

SY later finds a snapped fan left outside the kitchen door. How it came to be there is a mystery, but as he recognises it as Shizun's he supposes he should have it fixed...

For a while after returning it, SQQ refuses to use any other.

"They're ugly," he says, gesturing with his prized fan. "Put them away."

SY quirks a brow. Are they really all that bad? He can't tell.

"Of course, Shizun."

----

SY does his best to productively fill the time while waiting for LBH's arrival. So far, he's dutifully cultivated a core, sneaked into the Lingxi Caves alongside Shizun to prevent him from murdering his shidi (only to find no murder going on, but a violent qi deviation on LQG's part - seriously Airplane?!!), and even fought one of SHL's dumb underlings when she thought to attack his sect.

And yet, still no Binghe!

At this point, SY is resigned to reach the Immortal Alliance Conference before the protagonist shows up - something he's not looking forward to at all. He doesn't want to compete in the stupid hunt. He's a no name NPC. He'll be lucky to survive!

...

And yet, the conference soon arrives.

"Don't die," his shizun kindly instructs, rapping him on the head with his fan. "I won't have you making QJP look bad."

SY sighs. "...Yes, Shizun."

As if he'd do it on purpose! SQQ, you have the face of an angel, but you're so cruel! 😭

----

Halfway through the main competition, SY is really starting to sweat. Where on earth is LBH? He has to be somewhere, because the system keeps. Yelling. At. Him. to make sure the protagonist ends up inside the Endless Abyss. As if SY wants anything to do with that! LBH would crawl back out and kill him!

System: Quest 'The Endless Abyss and Endless Hatred, a Sky Filled with Crystal Frost and Tears of Blood' must be completed or User account will be terminated. 😄😄

SY scoffs.

"Better that, than waiting for LBH to exact his revenge!"

He resolves to ignore the system until the end of the conference - he's not a chauffeur! LBH can find his way into the Abyss himself if it's so necessary!

...

Then, predictably, everything goes to hell. The ground is rumbling, ripping apart beneath SY's feet. To his left, a pile of corpses is swallowed by the ominous fissure splitting through the earth.

Across the field, SY can see SQQ calling to him.

"Shen Yuan! Come here this instant!"

His shizun's eyes are wide with something SY hasn't ever seen on his face before - fear? Constipation? But why-?

Suddenly, the earth below SY's feet crumbles. Caught unawares, his legs buckle beneath him.

For a moment, SY is scrambling over air, his feet sliding over loose dirt and bits of rubble in a frantic effort to steady himself.

Then...

...He falls.

As the wind is knocked out of him by the monstrously solid ground of the Endless Abyss, the system's voice chimes inside his head.

[Congratulations! Congratulations! Congratulations! User 002 has completed 'The Endless Abyss and Endless Hatred, a Sky Filled with Crystal Frost and Tears of Blood'. LUO BINGHE enters THE ENDLESS ABYSS! 🎉🎉🎉]

And SY suddenly has the most horrifying realisation of both his lives.

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN 'LUO BINGHE'?!!"

----

Not shown:

» SY taming every monster in the abyss with his wifely allure.

» The system having to threaten SY with death to get him to claim his empire. He doesn't want it! Ruling is too much effort! Where's a Shizun when you need him? SQQ would love this stuff! 😭

» SQQ and YQY patching up their relationship while SY is in the abyss. SQQ needs to vent his grief anger on someone, and it might as well be Qi-ge. YQY is so happy he could cry.

» Upon returning to the human realm, SY finds every single harem member tedious (seriously, he spent years in fear of looking at them wrong!), and creates a council to deal with them instead. If he wanted to be whipped, he'd ask his shizun for it, thank you very much! If he wanted to be verbally humiliated, he would also go to Shizun! If he wanted sex, well...SQQ apparently knows a lot about that, right?

(SQQ does not know a lot about that, thank you very much.)

Meanwhile:

QQQ: Your disciple's been turning down all his marriage prospects.

SQQ: 🙄 ...And? How does this affect me?

QQQ: He keeps telling them their wiles are nothing compared to the great immortal SQQ, and he'd rather have you instead.

SQQ: 😳 Impertinent child! I'll teach him to spout nonsense! 😡

SQQ storms into SY's palace and demands to speak with him.

SY: Shizun! 😄 How are you-?

SQQ: How dare you sully this master's reputation!

SY: Ah... I can't help being a demon, though?

SQQ: Who cares about demons?! Half the jianghu thinks we're intimate!

SY: !!!

SQQ: Therefore, I'm staying here to dissuade such nonsense! And to ensure you don't run this supposed 'empire' into the ground. Have chambers prepared for me. Appropriate ones!

SY: Ahaha... 😅 Yes, Shizun.

SQQ: 😠

It takes another three years of 'co ruling' (really, it's SQQ with all the power. SY has no head for politics) the empire before either SY or SQQ come to terms with any possible…feelings they might have regarding one another. Do they act on them? Absolutely not. Neither of them would be caught dead experiencing emotions in the presence of others!

(SQH has to orchestrate a wife plot into existence to save everyone's sanity.)

----

SQQ: is a walking red flag.🚩🚩🚩

SY: That's kind of hot, actually. He's just misunderstood.

SQH: Bro, he abuses children!

SY: Is it really abuse if you like it tho?

SQH: 😳 ...Bro...