Ngl, Actually Getting Feedback From Readers Actually Makes Me Want To Write!!

Ngl, actually getting feedback from readers actually makes me want to write!!

You know what I think its grossly under-rated in fandom? Second loves.

What it's like to love and lose and then love again. To suffer through either the death of a loved one or the death of a love you used to share. To know that loss, to know that hurt, and to still make yourself vulnerable to someone again. To love scared, to love wounded, to love anyway.

Tears so many tears

Desert Rose

Chapter 63 ~ Death's Deaf Ears

Pairing : Daryl Dixon x Rose

Era : Season 5

Word Count : 5.9k

In this chapter ~ Grief was an odd thing, and it seemed to come when someone least expected it. As Rose mourned the loss of a girl who had truly touched her heart, she finds that the hits just keep on coming as yet another person falls victim to their fate.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ ROSE POV *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Numb. That's all I felt. Utterly and painfully numb.

After Beth died right in front of my eyes, something changed. Losing her was something I never thought I would ever experience, but here I was, continuously living my life without her. I didn't know how I would move on from this; I didn't even know if I could move on. It seemed like the most impossible thing in the world. She was always this little light at the end of a very dark tunnel, so positive, happy, and having her ripped away from me was one of the hardest things I think I would ever have to experience.

Daryl kept his promise; we buried her. I couldn't stop crying as I watched the dirt being piled on top of her, nor could Maggie. I still could hardly look at her, feeling ashamed and guilty as if it were somehow my fault. All I remember was Glenn holding her tight as Gabriel said some words from the bible, a moment of silence following after he was done.

Although the silence wasn't exactly silent.

Maggie and I sobbed throughout the entire thing as the others around us let a few tears spill as well for the loss. I remember just staring at her grave and nothing else, thinking about the last moments I had with her. Though no amount of time would've ever been enough. I was so angry. She was the last person on earth that deserved to pass so cruelly, and I hoped to God that the bitch who killed her rotted in hell forever.

Her funeral was two weeks ago, but somehow that's all I could remember. I stopped paying attention to where we were going. I stopped attempting to eat much of anything. I stopped caring about everything as a whole. The only thing I found I started to do, was push people away. I didn't have the energy to talk...I didn't even have the energy to care.

I distanced myself from them every chance I got. To be completely honest I didn't know why I was doing it, I was just completely heartbroken, and it felt like it was the only way I could cope. Nobody could say or do anything to make the pain go away, or to make me feel better at all. I just followed them wherever they decided to go, not caring about which direction we went or where our final destination would land. I was just trying to survive.

The group talked about the difference between surviving and living one night around the fire that one long winter, and I think I was finally starting to understand what they meant. Living is actually enjoying the life and opportunities you're given, basking in it almost, but surviving is just...surviving. You're just moving, eating, and drinking to stay alive, not for a purpose. It was depressing but it was true.

Over time, everyone was starting to get the hint that I wanted to be left alone...well, everyone except Daryl. He could never seem to leave my side no matter what. Every time I would go off into the woods by myself to have some peace and quiet, he would wordlessly follow right behind me. He would offer me the rest of his food when he noticed I didn't eat much. He somehow was always clung to my side, worry only consuming him more every passing day when he looked at me.

Don't get me wrong, I loved this man more than anything in this world, but I didn't want him to be constantly hovering over me the way he was, and he sure as hell knew that. He knew how badly I wanted to be left alone, but he just wouldn't allow it as if he feared I would just walk right up to a walker and let it attack me. I wasn't suicidal by any means, even though it wouldn't be that mind blowing if I was. I just needed space, desperately wanting him to understand that.

But I never put up much of a fight whenever the familiar pattern occurred, because I knew if I did, I would absolutely lose it. With everything I was bottling up inside, I knew I would freak out on him, and that wasn't something he deserved. But holy shit was he testing my patience.

That's why when I overheard the group mention something about a place that Noah wanted to visit, his old neighborhood, I wordlessly got up to join them. It took them all a bit by surprise that I was willing to come along, but they didn't seem to question it as I figured they silently appreciated the extra hands to help out. But the truth was I just needed to get away.

It was as if I were constantly suffocating when I was here with the rest of the group. So, it felt like a breath of fresh air when we all finally piled into the car, silently heading towards the old sanctuary that Noah was so anxious to see.

I sat in the very back of the vehicle next to Glenn, briefly hearing the conversation Ty and Noah were having all the way up front as I stared off into space. Though their voices were too muffled to make out any clear kind of word. Leaning my head against the coolness of the window, my tired eyes watched the trees pass by in a flash with how fast we were moving.

Tears slipped from my eyes as they usually did, from the utter exhaustion and depressive feeling that constantly weighed me down, but I just subconsciously wiped them away as more came to fall down my cheeks. It had sadly become a regular habit that haunted me, not knowing anymore if I was crying because my body was begging for sleep, or if I was crying because of the crushing loss. Perhaps it was both.

These past couple weeks I've just been a complete mess of emotions all the time, and I was growing tired of seeing how everyone else looked at me. All I saw was nothing but pity in their eyes every damn time, and I hated it. I didn't want or need anyone to feel sorry for me, but they still did anyways, and I found I had to tell myself that it was something that I unfortunately couldn't control.

Glenn continuously kept subtly stealing glances at me every time I moved my hand up to wipe my cheeks, watching it happen from the corner of my eye. Not even needing to look over and see his face, I sensed his eyebrows were knitted together in concern. They always were.

His hand then hesitantly moved over toward me, landing gently on my knee as he gave it a light squeeze, trying to offer some sort of comfort. My eyes looked over to him, seeing him sending me a small, yet reassuring smile, but I only scooted further away from his touch.

My gaze panned back out the window, my head now turned completely away from him as I heard him sigh quietly in defeat. I didn't let it bother me though as I started to absentmindedly play with Beth's bracelet that was now on my wrist.

Looking down at the woven colorful strings, made me think of the very moment I gave it to her. It was during one of the nights we spent together talking for hours on end, remembering her mentioning how her friends used to make cheap friendship bracelets, and she missed old times like that. So, on the next run I went on, I made sure to keep an eye out for any kind of string so I could make her something special just like she had in the old world.

When I found the supplies and made it for her, she was absolutely overjoyed to see the bright strings tied together to make a colorful band just like the one she had in the past. It hit me then and there that she was one of the few people I would do just about anything for. Like hunting down that new guitar and teaching her more songs, or singing with her in front of the group just to make her happy, or making sure to take care of Judith when she needed a little break.

More tears pooled in my eyes at the thought of never doing anything special for her again. Never having the late night talks we used to share, or never hearing her sing ever again. I was going to miss her voice. She was such a pure soul, and now she was gone. Ripped away selfishly from all of us forever.

Sighing to myself, I wiped my eyes once again and tried to stop my emotions from spilling all over the place, wanting to gather myself as much as I could as to not let Glenn see me completely break down. Luckily the car coming to a halt snapped me out of my thoughts and I looked around to see that we had finally made it after the long drive.

We all climbed out of the car and I trailed behind everyone as they led the way, a machine gun held loosely in my hands. It was a longer walk through the trees before we finally came up to the gated neighborhood, Glenn being the first one to climb up and peer over to the inside. Though he only seemed to glance around the street on the other side for a moment or two, before looking back down towards us and shaking his head sadly.

For some reason, it didn't click in my mind back at the hospital what Rick was talking about when he mentioned Noah wanting to go home. But I understood now, wanting to get back to his community that he was once ripped away from, the family and friends that he thought were here waiting for him. But we all silently knew just by Glenn's action meant that none of them made it through something that happened recently.

Noah's eyes widened as the realization hit him like a bus, quickly limping over toward the opposite side of the guarded place, hopping over the edge to see for himself what was left inside. We all followed his lead quickly as we didn't know where he would go, rushing over the gate just as he was nearly jogging down the streets, desperately trying to see if anyone was left alive.

The kid didn't stop, not even when Rick called out for him quietly, only slowing down the second he saw a few dead bodies ahead lying on the concrete, along with a few walkers wandering around on the grass. He broke down completely and fell to the ground, starting to sob in the middle of the street at the loss of his people. My heart broke for him, knowing the feeling all too well when we all got separated back at the prison. Thinking your family is dead- or worse, knowing your family is dead, is just about the worst feeling in the entire world.

The walkers that were still lingering around the area suddenly began to take notice of the sobbing boy, their eyes then panning over to the rest of us in pure hunger and desperation. I watched as Michonne wordlessly took out her sword to take care of them before they could get any closer to us, but I stopped her with a wave of my hand.

"I got them." I muttered under my breath, taking out a few knives as they only inched closer.

Four of them managed to make their way over, spread out from each other, making it easier for me to take them on. I gripped the knife in my hand tightly before chucking it at one of their heads, watching it slowly fall to its knees before completely crashing onto the concrete below.  I easily killed another, spinning around out of its reach right before it could grab me, kicking its leg out from under it before stabbing it in the back of the head.

I quickly retrieved my other knife from the dead walker's head, before stabbing the next one coming at me straight through its eye. Though with everything going on, my attention being drawn in too many different directions, I seemed to lose sight of the fourth. But right as that thought ran through my mind, familiar loud growls were heard from just behind my frame, giving me no chance to react.

In the split second I whipped around to face the monster, the steel of a sword was going straight through its head before it could sink its teeth into me, the blade almost poking me in the nose with how close it was to my face. The walker fell harshly to the ground by my boots when the weapon was retracked back, revealing Michonne huffing like she had to rush over to make it just in time.

I scoffed as I put my knives back in place around my hips, "I told you had it." I spoke stubbornly.

She looked slightly taken aback, "You had it, huh?" she asked, following me the moment I tried to walk away, "You got a death wish or something? I was helping you."

"Don't." I snapped, turning around to face her again, "I don't recall the last time I needed anyone's supervision, I'm fine."

She surprisingly wasn't frustrated at my snappy tone, her calmness never fading as she looked at me with the same damn pity I had been witnessing constantly. "You didn't need to take that on alone."

I silently knew the double meaning behind her words, and it just made me scoff, "I'm fine." I repeated before I continued to walk away.

But the more I began to think, the faster I got my second wind, turning around with a pointed finger in her direction, "You think I haven't noticed the way everyone's been staring at me lately? Like I'm so fragile or something that you have to tiptoe around me. But I'm the same exact person that's dealt with one loss after another...and this isn't any different."

I felt my face get hot with how much emotion was suddenly filling my voice, spinning around on my heel the second my sentence was finished so she wouldn't see me crumble. I knew she was just trying to help, but again, I didn't need people thinking that I was weak just because I lost somebody important.

My steps became slowly hesitant as I approached the group once more, seeing Noah in the same spot on the ground as he cried with his head in his hands. Though Rick saw me coming out of the corner of his eye, walking up to speak to me lowly.

"Listen, we're planning on picking through a few houses to gather up what we can. Try and get Noah back on his feet to come back with us...you good with that?"

I shrugged, "It doesn't matter."

"It does." he insisted.

I didn't bother to answer him as I just simply turned around to head into the few houses that were the closest to me, wanting to grab whatever was left inside before we were ultimately back on the road with the others. I hadn't brought my bag, but I could only assume there would be at least one in the houses I picked through, something to carry everything back. Rick called after me, but I just ignored him and kept going, itching to finally be alone for once in what felt like forever.

I walked up to the closest structure I saw and went in through the garage. I opened and shut the door loudly behind me to alert any potential walkers inside to make themselves known. But when I was only met with silence, I took that as my cue to head in deeper as I trucked up the stairs into the living room. Right away I spotted an old backpack hanging on a doorhandle, peeking inside to see if there was anything useful, but it was only a few crumpled folders and a poetry book. I scanned the cover, the title seeming to intrigue me a bit as I decided to keep it before slinging the bag over my shoulder to look for supplies.

I raided through the kitchen and was only met with one can of beans and two cans of corn left in the cabinets. Down the hall were a few extra rooms to pick through as I silently hoped to have a little more success. I checked out the bathroom first, wanting to see if there was some medication I could bring back. All I was met with were some empty pill bottles and some really expired tums, but I did a double take when I looked in the mirror.

It was safe to say I looked terrible. There were bags under my eyes that could carry someone's groceries, and the cuts on my cheek and neck were almost completely healed; but scarred like a mother fucker. Though I was silently thankful that whoever stitched me up at the hospital picked the stiches that dissolve on their own so I wouldn't have to worry about taking them out myself. That would've been a bitch to do.

I then headed toward the few bedrooms that had yet to be checked, finding the master didn't have much to offer other than a few clean shirts that I managed to take. Even the bathroom attached to the space hardly had anything at all, but I was lucky enough to find some tampons. Lord only knows how scarce those were. I put the box in my bag whilst I looked toward the remaining bedrooms, one looking to be a child's. There was clearly nothing worth taking from there which led me to the final room on the right, assuming it was a teenagers based on the decorations.

My eyes scanned to see the space was pretty clean, but my attention was immediately drawn to the object that sat tall on the twin bed. A guitar.

A lump formed in my throat as I looked at the instrument, biting the inside of my cheek to try to keep myself together. I felt my shoulders sag in defeat as I slowly lowered myself to sit on the ground, exhaling a shaky breath as I thought about the one girl that hadn't left my mind for one second in the passing weeks. She was everywhere. Everywhere I looked there would be some sort of sign that she was there with me.

The first night after she passed, I had to move away from the sleeping group because I couldn't stop sobbing, fearing I was being too loud. It was the only time I was able to sneak off without Daryl following close behind me, feeling as though I could actually get away. I didn't know if he did it on purpose or if he just didn't realize. But in the back of my mind, I knew that he was aware, he just wanted me to have a moment to mourn by myself.

I walked further into the woods as I tried desperately to pull myself back together, my head tilting up toward the sky in attempt to stop the waterfall of tears from falling. But that action caused me to catch a glimpse of a shooting star passing through the night sky, just like the first night I had grieved the loss of Hershel. It was like her own little sign of telling me that not only was she safe, but she was with her dad again. And it only made me cry harder.

After that, the signs just kept appearing over and over. Like a single flower blooming in the middle of a dead, yellow field. Or when I came across a tree with just the single letter B carved into the wood of the trunk. And now this guitar sitting before me, almost mocking me. She was everywhere I looked, and I didn't know whether to find comfort or sadness in that aspect.

My head then snapped up when I heard the sound of the door beside me creaking open, seeing Glenn standing there with a sorrowful look on his face. I mentally groaned that he was witnessing this yet again, looking away from him as I dried my eyes, feeling him come to sit down right beside me without uttering a word.

I didn't know if I wanted his company or not, but frankly my mind was too scrambled to even think about it for too long. So, I let him stay. He was silent for a while as I put myself together again, before his gaze landed on the one thing I kept glancing back to, hearing him sigh to himself in defeat.

"I miss her too."

"Stop." I cut him off, sniffling and pulling up my sleeves to help dry my cheeks.

He shook his head insistently, "Ro, you don't have to go through this alone, just let us help-"

"I'm still grieving." I breathed, now looking over at him, "Have you said any of this to Maggie? Have you even uttered a word to her about Beth?"

His silence spoke louder than my own voice did, and he didn't need to say a word for me to know the answer. "I didn't think so." I muttered.

Another long and loud silence passed as he truly didn't know what to say to me anymore. It made me think about how the hell we even got here, the losses we've taken only driving us further apart while we mourned in different ways.

"I'm sorry." he finally whispered, "I know how close you were with her, but-"

"No, no," I said, shaking my head, "But nothing. I was close with her, and then I lost her, and now I'm grieving...end of story."

"But you don't need to do it alone." he nearly pleaded.

I shook my head again in disbelief, "You don't get it." I let out a breathy, humorless laugh, "I was alone my whole life...I never got too close to anyone, and that's the only way I knew. I've never lost anybody like this before, not one this tragic. All of you can understand what it feels like to lose someone important...but I have no idea what it's like. This is all so new to me...losing someone I cherished so much. And...I need to figure it out on my own."

When I finally got the nerve to look him in the eye after spilling my heart out, there was a clear mist of tears glistening in his eyes at the feeling I described, easily sensing he wanted nothing more but to wrap me in a tight hug. But he didn't. He was scared it would only make me uncomfortable, push me away further, so he just stayed put as he thought about his next words carefully.

"Daryl slipped up one night...a long time ago about how, um..." he swallowed thickly, "About how you tried to run after Sophia died." he quietly admitted.

My eyes slightly widened as I made a mental note to kill Daryl later. "I just- I don't know...I guess I'm just making sure you don't run this time...because I can't lose you too, Ro."

His emotions were clear as day as he fully bared his soul to me it seemed like, my heart nearly shattering at the thought of him worrying that I would just disappear. I didn't want him to think that, I didn't want anyone to think that. I just needed to process all the emotions and difficulties for however long it took. I wasn't going to just run away, because the truth was, that would break me even more.

"I'm not going to run," I promised as I looked over at him sadly, "I'm staying right here...I just need some time...okay?"

He nodded slowly, "Okay..."

But the moment we were having, even if it was a small one, was completely cut short as the front door of the house opened and closed with a slam, followed by rushed footsteps until Rick suddenly appeared in the doorway, "Come on! Tyreese was bit!" he spoke in a panic.

Barely even processing the words he was saying, his franticness was all it took for me to jump to my feet and sprint behind the man to get out of the house as quickly as we could. My legs were moving faster and faster as my heart was harshly beating out of my chest. I didn't care how badly my lungs burned or how tired I felt from the lack of rest I'd been getting; I was determined to get to him. To save him.

We all rushed inside the house to find him in one of the bedrooms, laying on the floor and bleeding out profusely. All the color was drained from his face as he had a hazy look in his eye like he was about to pass out from the blood loss. Rick hurried over and pulled his arm out as far as he could, catching a glimpse of where the bite mark was embedded in his flesh. Though it didn't even look like the movement had affected him at all as he laid there almost limply.

Michonne quickly whipped out her sword and with one swipe, she was able to cut his limb clean off. I just stood there in shock, not being able to move or even breathe as I watched them slice his arm completely from his body. I told myself I'd save him, but I couldn't even do that. The scene was so gruesome and horrible, almost too much to even fathom right now.

Rick and Glenn didn't hesitate to find some kind of sheet to wrap around what was left of his arm to slow down the bleeding, before then hauling him up to help him out of the house, the man's weight resting heavily on their shoulders. I snapped out of my sudden trance as soon as they brushed passed me, not hesitating to follow them out of the house and back down towards the gate.

I kept up them as the two practically jogged with him in their grasp, the others just behind us as the gate was slowly coming into view, yet just out of reach. But we had to think fast, climbing back over wasn't exactly an option and the gate was chained shut, the sound of walkers now on the other side as they tried to claw their way in.

"We have to break the lock!" Rick yelled.

I nodded frantically, rushing over to fumble with the thick chains before they finally became loose enough to open up the large wooden doors, sending the walkers from the outside piling in toward us. I reached for my bow and started to fire arrows at the ones coming our way while Noah held Tyreese up and away from the chaos, trying to get him to keep his eyes open.

The rest of us fought off the corpses one by one so we could make our way through, needing to get him back to the car as fast as possible. We managed to kill them off within only seconds, Rick and Glenn quickly turning back to help him up as the rest of us ran ahead to make sure the area was clear. We booked it towards the car through the familiar route we took earlier, my eyes constantly darting back multiple times to see Ty still awake, yet barely conscious.

Killing a few more dead ones along the way, we eventually all picked him up one limb at a time while Noah directed us back to the vehicle just ahead of us. The pace we were once going was far too slow, and when we saw the amount of his blood staining the sheet that he held loosely, we knew we had to pick up the pace. I felt the sadness building as I tried to hold it together, shaking my head to try and prevent it from happening. He had to stay alive. I couldn't lose myself in my emotions if I wanted him to stay alive.

After what felt like ages, we finally made it to the van, pushing myself to get in first to help lower him onto the middle row so he would be laying down flat on his back. I held onto his legs while his head was resting on the opposite window, Glenn and Michonne quickly climbing over to get in the back. Rick ran around to the front as Noah got in the passenger seat and as soon as the kid closed the door with a slam, Rick floored it to race back to the others.

My chest rose and fell with every heavy breath, looking over at Tyreese's face to see his eyes start to grow heavy, my hand immediately tapping on his leg so he wouldn't pass out.

"Come on Ty, stay awake." I said, trying hard to hide the desperation in my voice.

He lazily opened his eyes once again and I sighed in relief, "We're getting closer, just hold on. You're going to be okay...you're going to be fine."

I kept lightly tapping his leg, praying that he would stay conscious as my other hand moved to now put more pressure on his gaping wound. The car swerved around back and forth aggressively, Rick trying to speed as fast as he could to make it back. I could hear Noah yelling the directions at him frantically, which ways to turn, but it all just ended up fuzzy in my mind, not being able to focus on anything as my mind spiraled.

My gaze shifted down once more to check on him again, but his eyes were now completely closed. I tried to keep calm as I saw his state, tapping on his leg a bit harder to get his eyes to flutter open again.

"Ty?" I asked.

He didn't flinch.

"Ty? Tyreese, open your eyes."

Rick's head spun around at the sound of my words, hearing him sigh dreadfully in defeat, but I didn't give up as I only shook him harder in the bumpiness of the car. "Tyreese you have to open your eyes. Open your eyes. Come on." I begged.

I felt the car begin to slow down to a stop and instinctively looked out the window to see we were pulled over onto the side of the road. Panic flooded through me, quickly hopping out of the car along with everyone else. They all pulled Tyreese out of the van, but he still stayed unresponsive, my eyes widening as I instantly pushed Noah and Glenn out of the way and got down on my knees next to him.

I leaned down to rest my ear against his chest, trying to listen for a heartbeat, but was met with nothing. No. He wasn't going to die. I quickly shot back up and folded my hands together, starting to firmly push over his heart to start CPR, mentally counting to thirty as I tuned everything else out.

"Rosie." I heard Rick's distant voice from behind me, but I ignored him.

I kept counting silently in my head, tilting his head up to breathe into his mouth twice before going back to push on his chest, counting again. I briefly heard them talking around me, but I couldn't bring myself to hear, focusing on him and him alone to try and keep him alive.

"Rose." Rick tried again, sadness filling his voice.

I ignored him once more as I aggressively pressed on Tyreese's chest again and again, before suddenly feeling his hand wrap around my arm in attempt to pull me back, "No." I snapped, ripping myself out of his hold to keep going.

I felt his hand pull me again, "No! Rick, no!" I yelled as I fought to get away from his grasp.

"Rose, come on." he spoke quietly.

His voice and protests meant nothing to me. I couldn't let him die. But both of his hands suddenly brought my arms back, pulling me away from his body, "No! I can save him! Please!" I screamed as I thrashed around to try and get out of his hold.

But he didn't let me go, slowly inching me further away from him, "I can save him! I can save him Rick, please!" I pleaded desperately as tears began to stream down my face once more.

He got down on his knees and held me back by my shoulders as I saw Michonne slowly walking over towards his head. "No! No, please don't! Let me save him!"

But my words only fell on deaths deaf ears, everyone around me sadly ignoring my protests as they all knew what needed to be done. I kept fighting, begging for them to listen to me, squirming harshly in Rick's arms as he tried to shush me.

"Don't look Rosie...don't look." he whispered right beside my ear, his arms squeezing me softly.

And before I could even bat an eye, Michonne quickly stabbed Tyreese in the head with her sword in one swift motion, squeezing her eyes shut as she listened to my sobs.

"No!" I yelled, watching his blood trickle down her weapon as my vison only blurred more with tears.

Rick gently pulled me closer to his chest as I continued to cry, whispering reassuring things that only I could hear, but I couldn't be bothered to listen. My eyes didn't stray away from Tyreese's dead body in front of me, feeling a fantom weight beginning to crush me at yet another person I couldn't save.

I mindlessly watched from a distance as Gabriel once again read from the bible at another dreadful funeral. Everyone around his grave was taking turns to scoop some dirt to cover him more and more, but I just couldn't force myself to do it. My eyes were puffy, my stomach churned as I felt like I could throw up with how much not only I've lost, but what we've all lost. I could see so clearly that everyone was holding on by a thread, and I was only finding myself closer to my own breaking point.

My eyes lingered on Sasha as she fiddled with the necklace that used to be around Tyreese's neck and brought it to her lips to kiss, the beanie he always wore being placed on the makeshift cross above where he would rest peacefully. It couldn't have been more devastating.

Looking up, I saw that Gabriel was finished and people were slowly starting to disperse after their silent goodbyes. Finding myself leaving as quickly as I could. Not because I wanted to, but because I could hardly stand to look at the scene any longer. My steps were slow and heavy as I began to walk back to the makeshift camp we had set up, but I quickly felt a presence lingering behind me. And I didn't need to turn around to know who it was, the sting of his eyes on me was all too familiar.

He wanted to say something to me, I could sense how desperately he was trying to find the right words. But the truth was, we hadn't uttered a thing to each other since Beth, and I silently knew he had no idea how to even approach me anymore. However, that was the least of my concerns. He was breathing, and that seemed to be all that mattered to me.

All I could focus on now, was surviving.

~ Thanks for reading! (Whew, this one was hard to get through just like the last. It really doesn't get easier does it?)

Taglist ~ @justareader95 @hayley1998 @ryoujoking @sipsthecoffee @winterassassin1804 @marsmallow433 @catlalice @writingstreetspirit @silentlysuffering @mystictf @remuslittlesister

A Teaser for

Always You

Not my GIF

Rosalie Barlowe a highly trained agent working at the GBI, Georgia Bureau of Investigations. Has her life turned upside down when the world goes to shit? How will she feel when a band of misfits, are there to watch her back when no one else has ever been? What will happen when she starts to harbor feelings for one of them?

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Hello, readers. This is the first Fic that I'm publishing here. If you are hooked by the very small teaser above please think about following along for Rosalie's story. I am so excited for this story to come to fruition and not just live in my head as an idea. I do not own The Walking Dead or any of its characters. I do, however, own Rosalie Barlowe and her story. I do not give permission to translate my work or change it in any way. I do however invite you to reblog and comment to let me know your thoughts. If you want to be added to the tag list just message me.

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@d1xonss

I love this so much!

Wild Rooster Chase | Rooster x Reader

Summary: Bradley thinks about you more than he should, and his feelings for you run deeper than they ought to. You've never given him an indication that you want to take the teasing touches and playful flirtation to the next level, so he never pressed his luck. When you surprise him by sending a text message that could change everything, he's ready to chase you all over San Diego for some answers.

Warnings: adult language, fluff, angst, drinking

Length: 5700 words

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader

Check out my masterlist for more! Banner by @thedroneranger

"What are you ladies doing here?" Bradley asked as you walked in with Halo and Phoenix on either side of you. "Thought tonight was the bachelorette party?"

"The Hard Deck is our first stop of the evening," you informed him as you planted your palm on his chest with a smirk, and he let you push him away from the bar. "We couldn't miss out on letting you guys see how nicely we clean up."

"Oh yeah?" he asked, as if he wasn't actively ogling you in your mini dress and high heels. He'd never been one to hide it, and he'd never been one to check out the other two, either. But that didn't mean he was going to act on it, because he was absolutely convinced this was just a game for you. One that he loved participating in. One that he knew was never going to go anywhere real.

"Yeah," you verified with a laugh. "We look hot."

"An indisputable fact," he whispered as he pretended like you were actually pushing him further out of your way. He'd move wherever you wanted him to, as long as you just kept touching him.

"Shoo," you scolded, looking up at him as your knee bumped his leg. "I need to buy some drinks, and you're in my way."

He covered your hand with his big one and immediately stopped moving. "Nice try, Blaze," he said with a grin as you attempted and failed to get him to budge more. "But I'm definitely buying you all a round for Callie's big night." He tossed his credit card onto the bar and draped one arm around Halo and the other around you before leaning in close to you and whispering, "And you always look nice. Even in your flight suits."

"What can I get for you ladies? And Rooster?" Penny asked, cutting him off just as he had you rolling your eyes. "Wait... he's not going out for Halo's bachelorette night, is he?"

"Absolutely not," you told her, tilting your head to look up at him with a devilish grin that made him a little nervous. His arm was still heavy across your shoulders as you said, "He's just here to buy us three Johnnie Walkers. Blue Label. Neat." 

"What?" His voice was strangled, and his eyes were wide. "That's over a hundred bucks!"

"But it's what we want. Isn't it, ladies?" you asked Halo and Phoenix as you tried not to laugh.

"It is," Halo confirmed. "And I'm the one getting married next weekend." 

When Bradley moaned and nodded at Penny, you gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks, Rooster. You're the sweetest."

"You mean I'm a sucker," he said, finally releasing both of you. "So where are you headed after this?"

Halo accepted her expensive Scotch as she said, "Cowboy Star for a steak dinner."

Bradley snorted. "Don't forget to take Jake with you," he said, nodding to where the other guys were hanging out near the dart board. 

"No boys allowed," you reminded him. "Especially not since we're taking Halo to Cheetahs after dinner."

"Strippers?" he asked as you picked up your Johnnie Walker. "Looking at hot, naked chicks? Sounds fun. What else?"

"Dancing at Pleasure Town!" Phoenix said, taking the last Scotch and holding it up. You and Halo both tapped your glasses to hers.

"Thanks, Rooster!" you said before taking a sip. He just shook his head as you pressed your lips to the glass, but a few seconds later, he ran his index finger along your arm and leaned a little closer again.

"Hey, you call or text me if you need anything, okay? I'll keep my phone on all night for you girls."

A chill seemed to run through your body, and just the mere thought of you calling him in the middle of the night left his mouth dry with need.

You chewed on your lip and looked up at him. "I'll let you know if I need you."

-----------------------

I'll let you know if I need you.

Bradley couldn't stop thinking about that sentence. If you ever told him you needed or even wanted him for anything, he'd be there instantly. He wasn't afraid to admit to himself that he'd had a crush on you from the first day you arrived at Top Gun. He was sure you knew it, too. But there were some things he just didn't want to mess with. Your call sign was Blaze for a reason, after all. Too fucking hot to handle. Too damn enticing to be interested in him.

So he did what he always did on Saturday nights. Found the second cutest girl at the bar and tried his luck. 

It was two hours later and three drinks in with the redhead, and he knew he could probably get as lucky as he wanted to. Her hand was on his thigh, inching closer to the hem of his tropical print shirt, and she was all smiles.

"Let's play something on the jukebox," she told him, and he agreed as he followed after her. To his dismay, she picked your favorite song, and now he was having a bit of a hard time staying focused on the task at hand as she tucked herself against the wall and pulled him closer by his shirt.

"You like this song?" he asked, glancing at the jukebox like he expected you to be standing there. 

She shrugged and said, "Not really. I just pushed some random buttons," with a little giggle. "Now, come here."

Alright, so her lips were soft, and her tongue tasted like bourbon. She placed his hands on her hips, and he gave a little test squeeze which resulted in her tongue in his mouth. But the song was pulling up some other memories of you and him dancing together on New Year's Eve. When he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, it was almost a relief to pull away.

"Hey," she complained, reaching for him as he unlocked his phone. "I'm over here, Rooster."

"Sorry," he muttered, looking at her briefly, but he really wasn't. The text he got was from you. He held up one finger and took a step back as he opened it up. 

Blaze: Full disclosure, I'm drunk. And I'll probably regret this in the morning, but... I think about kissing you all the time.

"What the fuck?" Bradley said out loud as his eyes scanned the message again. It was a joke. It had to be. Or else he was reading it wrong? "Holy shit."

When he finally looked up, the redhead was pouting with her arms crossed. He needed another opinion, and he'd already lost interest in her anyway. He held up his phone and asked, "What does this mean?"

He watched her eyes as she read it, and a little crease appeared on her forehead. "It says get a life, jerk." She went walking off toward her friends as Bradley looked around for someone else to help him out. The guys were all playing pool and darts, but he didn't trust them as far as he could throw them anyway.

"Hey, Penny," he called out, cutting off several people who were trying to order drinks. He leaned all the way across the bar top to where she was pouring a martini. "Tell me I'm not losing my mind."

When he held up his phone, she squinted at the screen, and then her eyes went wide as she smiled at him. "I think someone overdid it and finally stated the obvious."

He was sweating now, afraid he was going to get this all wrong. "Like you think this is actually how she feels?"

She laughed and handed off the martini before pouring some wine. "Well, I don't want to speculate on someone else's behalf..."

"Bartenders are supposed to speculate," he told her, ready to climb over the bar and chase her down as she turned away from him to serve the wine. "It's your god given obligation."

She glanced at him over her shoulder. "Well, then, merely speculating, I would say that the way the two of you cozy up with each other seems a little more than platonic."

He shook his head. "No, that's probably just me you're reading in the scenario." But she was shaking her head back and forth as well. "It's her, too?" Now she was nodding as she reached for a pint glass. "Like she might actually want to make something happen here?"

"Speculation," Penny told him. "But I think you should find out for sure."

He could call you. He pushed himself away from the bar, found a nice, quieter corner, and he tapped your number in his phone.

'Hi, it's me. I can't answer my phone, probably because I'm flying a seventy million dollar aircraft at the moment. Leave a message.'

"Damn it," he groaned, already thinking about how nice it would be to sling his arm around your shoulders and lean all the way in next time. Let his lips meet yours instead of hitting the brakes like he'd trained himself to do. "Wait!" he said to nobody in particular now that he'd walked away from Penny. "Cowboy Star!"

Bradley had the fortitude to keep his phone out and use the rideshare app he had downloaded. He was definitely not sober enough to do this in the Bronco, and he couldn't stop fantasizing about your song playing on the jukebox while he had your body pressed up against the wall. He needed to get to you and get some questions answered. 

He chose the closest driver in the app, and while he was waiting for Julian in his white Toyota Camry to arrive, he read your text again.

Blaze: Full disclosure, I'm drunk. And I'll probably regret this in the morning, but... I think about kissing you all the time.

"Is she so serious right now?" he asked the night air as he waited in the parking lot. "Is she so fucking serious about this? I think about it, too!  A lot!" he practically shouted as he responded to your text.

Blaze, call me back. Are you talking about a kiss on the cheek? Or something more? We need to discuss ASAP.

"Hey, are you Bradley?"

He looked up to see the white Toyota was just sitting there. You had his head so messed up at the moment, he hadn't even noticed it.

"Julian?"

"Yeah, man," the driver replied, and Bradley quickly climbed in the backseat. "You're heading to Cowboy Star?"

"Yeah," he grunted as he buckled his seatbelt.

"I love it there," he said as he pulled out onto the road that ran parallel to the beach. "My wife got me the porterhouse for my birthday."

Bradley stared at his phone screen, hoping you'd write back or call him. "I'm not actually going for dinner. I'm trying to find a girl."

Julian whistled and shook his head. "Man, you should have just stayed at that bar."

He tipped his head back and groaned. "It's a very specific girl. And she's out with some friends for a bachelorette party."

"You know dudes aren't really supposed to go to those things, right?"

Bradley rubbed his free hand across his face and said, "I know, but she sent me this text that is very thought provoking." 

"What's it say?"

He kind of felt like an idiot telling his story to his Uber driver, but he still wasn't sure he was understanding your words correctly. It just didn't make sense. 

"Julian, I am very firmly in the friend zone with this hot girl from work, and tonight she sent me this message: Full disclosure, I'm drunk. And I'll probably regret this in the morning, but... I think about kissing you all the time."

"Bro," Julian said as he hit the accelerator a little harder. "You're so in, man."

"Am I?" Bradley asked, squeezing his phone and wondering why you weren't calling him back. "Like, this girl is smoking hot. She's cool as hell, too. And we flirt a bit, but it never goes anywhere. And now she's not answering me."

"Just hang on." Julian went a little faster still. "I'll get you there so you can sweep her off her feet."

Bradley hung onto the door handle, not even sure he knew how to sweep you off your feet. What kinds of guys did you usually go for? He'd be lying if he said he never noticed that your last boyfriend kind of looked like him. And in general, you seemed to have a thing for guys with brown hair who were pretty tall. 

"Shit," he grunted, just torturing himself by imagining he could be the one holding your hand and making you laugh. "Are we almost there?"

"Hell yeah, dude. Next block up."

When Julian stopped at to the curb, Bradley lunged out onto the sidewalk as he shouted, "Thank you!"

"Good luck!"

The restaurant was absolutely packed, and even the line to talk to the host was long. After a few seconds, he simply walked to the front and cut everyone else off.

"Hey!" complained the woman who was now behind him as he cleared his throat and addressed the host. 

"Excuse me, but do you know if there are still three hot women here eating dinner together?" he asked the host who gave him a bland look. "They were all in tight little dresses. One was red, one was blue, and one was like a gold color. And one of them was wearing a bachelorette sash!"

"Oh," he replied with a little smirk. "Those three." Bradley didn't appreciate the way his little grin grew as he said, "Hot is certainly the right word to describe them."

"Are they still here?" he asked impatiently, trying to look past him into the dining room now.

"No. They left about an hour ago."

"Fuck," he groaned, pushing away from the podium and storming back outside into the night. He found a spot on the busy sidewalk where he could stand, and he tried to call you again. 

'Hi, it's me. I can't answer my phone, because I'm probably flying a seventy million dollar aircraft at the moment. Leave a message.'

He wanted to scream, but he calmly said, "Blaze, it's Rooster. Call me back." When he hung up, he opened the rideshare app again, and he luckily saw Julian on the map immediately and tapped on his little icon. "Come on, Julian," he muttered, already looking down the street for the trusty Toyota to make its return. "Yes!"

Bradley threw himself into the backseat once again as the driver asked, "That was quick, bro. What happened?"

"They already left for the strip club," he groaned.

"Cheetahs?" Julian asked, tapping at his own phone before he started driving again. "Not gonna pretend I've never been there before."

Bradley tried to call you again, and once again he got to hear your voice tell him you weren't available. "I just don't understand why she's telling me this now, you know? I've known her for almost two years."

"Two years in the friend zone? Bro, do you have no game?"

"Julian, do not test me right now," Bradley said with a laugh. He held up his thumb and index finger and added, "I was this close to sealing the deal with another girl at the Hard Deck when I got the text from her."

"Ohhhh. So you're in love with her. Understood, my man."

Bradley sat back against the seat and stared out the window as the city lights streaked past. In love. Was he? You always seemed too perfect to get involved with. But love? Is that why he never pushed for more? 

"Damn," he muttered. "Maybe." Was the fear of crashing and burning what was ultimately holding him back? 

That was when Julian pulled a slick u-turn and coasted into the parking lot of Cheetahs which was advertising fully nude girls. He should have been concerned that suddenly the only girl he wanted to see that way was you. "Thanks, Julian," he said as he hopped out and slammed the door closed.

"You got this!"

Well at least Julian thought he could pull off something impossible tonight.

"Whoa, I'm going to need to see some ID." 

Bradley realized that his path was suddenly blocked by an absolutely massive bouncer with a bushy beard. 

"Come on," he complained, digging his wallet out of his back pocket. "I'm thirty-five."

"No ID, no entrance."

"Yeah, yeah. Understood," he said trying to get his driver's license free as one of the strippers walked outside for a break. He craned his neck to see through the open door as the loud music filtered out before the door closed.

"Hey, Cherry," the bouncer grunted, and Bradley looked down at the stripper who was leaning against the wall wearing a pink wig, the tiniest g-string and some pasties. 

She was looking at Bradley a little skeptically as she replied, "Hey, Murph." She kicked a rock out into the parking lot as she told Bradley, "You're getting here awfully late. All of the private rooms have been reserved for the rest of the night."

"I'm not here for that. I'm just looking for some girls," he replied, waiting patiently while Murph inspected his ID.

"Yeah," she said with a laugh. "We've got plenty of those. The hottest ones in San Diego, if you believe the neon sign above your head."

"No," he told her, really not in the mood to recount his story again. "I'm looking for some women I work with."

Now Cherry looked downright unconvinced as she asked, "Are you a stripper?"

Bradley accepted his driver's license back and gave Cherry a hesitant look. "Well, no, I'm not."

"Didn't think so," she muttered, and Bradley stopped in his tracks before he even reached for the door handle.

"Excuse me?" he asked, giving her a much more scathing look. "What's that supposed to mean? I'd be a fantastic stripper."

She shook her head and adjusted her tiny underwear. "You don't have the right build for it."

Bradley burst out into sardonic laughter. "Cherry, you must be joking," he said as he tucked his wallet away and flexed his biceps. "I could totally be a stripper."

"What song would you dance to?" she asked in an accusatory tone. 

"Sweet Emotion," he told her immediately. Yeah, he'd thought about it before, and yeah, he knew he'd absolutely kill it up on stage. But she just made a face in response. "What's wrong with my song?"

"Nothing, I guess, but there's no way you'd be raking in the tip money."

Bradley pointed across the parking lot to Hard D Boys, the male club that was associated with Cheetahs, and said, "Just for that, I'm coming back for their open auditions night, because you have no idea what you're talking about." She shrugged, and he shook his head. "I don't have time for this. Have you seen three hot women? A red dress, a blue dress and a gold dress? Like short dresses?" he asked, tapping his thigh with his hand to indicate that your dress left little to his imagination. "They are like around this tall?" he added, sticking his hand in the air around your height.

"Sorry, Mr. Sweet Emotion, but I only take note of the biggest tippers."

Bradley groaned and pushed the door open, and the music was so loud, it wasn't even worth trying to ask the bartenders if they'd seen you. As soon as his eyes adjusted to the dark, he walked around the cavernous club, trying to locate you three, but it was mostly men. And then he had the disturbing thought that maybe some guys tried to pick you up.

"Why are you doing this to me, Blaze?" he whispered to himself as he walked back through every corner he could find. He even asked a woman to check if you were in the ladies' restroom. He came up empty handed again. 

"God damn it," he said once he was back outside with Murph.

"To be fair," Murph said as he lit up a cigarette, "I think you'd make an okay stripper."

"Thank you for that," Bradley told him sincerely as he tapped his rideshare app again, but then he heard a horn honking and looked up. It was Julian, hanging out his car window. He'd waited for him. 

"She's not here?"

"No, Julian. She's not here!" he said as he rushed toward the Toyota and climbed in.

"Well, where are we going next?"

Bradley closed his eyes and thought about what Phoenix had said earlier at the Hard Deck. "Pleasure Town. They were going dancing at Pleasure Town."

"On it," Julian told him and shifted into drive.

It was after midnight now. Pleasure Town wasn't too far away, but he'd be lucky to even find you in there on the weekend. But if he did, you'd be dancing like crazy with the biggest smile on your face, pretending you liked the music they were playing while you thought about your own playlists instead. You'd be drinking some neon colored cocktail and trying to talk the girls into leaving to get cookies from that place that was open all night. You'd maybe even be checking your phone and finally, finally texting him back.

"Yeah, you're right, Julian."

"About what, my man?"

Bradley rubbed his hands over his face. "I'm in love with her."

Julian reached his arm back at a red light, and Bradley fist bumped him. "Yeah, that's what I'm talking about! I could tell right away. Don't worry. We'll find her."

But it got harder to be hopeful the longer he was in the dance club. There was barely any room to walk around, and there were dozens of women in little dresses that looked like the one you were wearing, but none of them had your face or your smile. You weren't here. 

He stood on the dance floor and read your text one more time.

Full disclosure, I'm drunk. And I'll probably regret this in the morning, but... I think about kissing you all the time.

He wanted to know what kissing you would feel like. Now that you opened his mind to something more, he'd never be able to stop thinking about it. But this time, he let himself finally focus on the word regret in your message.You'd regret what you said in the morning. He knew you; he knew you would never go for the idea sober. But he texted you one more time anyway.

Blaze, please call me when you get this. It doesn't matter what time it is. Just call.

When he walked back out into the cool, night air, Julian was right there at the curb waiting with a hopeful look on his face. "Bro, is she here?" When Bradley didn't respond, his face melted into sadness. "Or did she say the 'just friends' shit?"

"She's not here," he replied, once again climbing in the back of the now familiar car.

"We going somewhere else now? The pursuit continues?"

Bradley grimaced and said, "I think I should just throw in the towel and regroup. Can you take me back to the Hard Deck? I'm definitely sober enough to drive home now."

But even Julian sounded disappointed now. "Of course, dude. Anything you want."

"Thanks," Bradley grunted, watching as the city lights faded a bit as they got closer to the beach. When Julian parked near the Bronco, he said, "I appreciate all your help tonight."

He gave Bradley another fist bump. "You gotta start fresh tomorrow, man. And you can't leave me hanging, okay? I need a wedding invitation."

Bradley chuckled as he climbed out for the last time. "I'm about to leave you the biggest tip."

He tapped two hundred bucks into the app as Julian drove off shouting, "Good luck!"

With nothing else he could do right now, he climbed in the Bronco, cranked the engine and started to drive himself home for the night. He was tempted to swing by your place or at least try to call you one more time, but he decided to let you get some sleep before you started to regret your message. That way he'd have a little more time with this hopeful feeling in his chest.

----------------------------

There was pounding. There was so much pounding. Maybe someone turned the music up even louder at Cheetahs? Or were you at Pleasure Town now? "Make them turn it down," you moaned, trying to cover your ears. That's when you realized you were in your bed. At home. Someone was knocking on your front door.

"Wait," you croaked as loudly as you could, your ears still buzzing from the loud music all night long. The bachelorette evening had been highly successful. Halo had a great time. But now you were hungover and not in the mood to deal with anyone. 

As you climbed out of bed, you grabbed your phone from the nightstand to check the time. The battery was almost dead, and you had a bunch of missed texts and calls, but you couldn't even focus on that until the pounding ceased.

"Please stop," you whined, flinging your door open before you even checked to see who it was. When you saw him it felt like someone poured warm caramel sauce on your heart or shoved you hard into a wall made out of soft foam: he always made you feel good and gooey and squishy in the most heart pounding, confusing way. "Rooster."

When he moved slightly, he stopped blocking the sunlight behind him and you squinted your eyes and groaned as you took a step back. "Blaze," he said in that raspy as sin voice as he blessedly closed your front door behind him. "You have a hangover."

You nodded, but even that was too much. "What gave it away?" you asked him softly, still holding your phone.

He snorted. "Well, for starters, you're still wearing your dress from last night."

"Oh." You hadn't realized that as you looked down at yourself for confirmation. "We went pretty hard. I can't even remember much after you bought us the Johnnie Walker at the Hard Deck."

He remained quiet until you looked back up at his face. "You... remember texting me?" His tone was one you'd never heard before, and it took you a few seconds to realize he was nervous. On edge. Hesitant. He was never any of those things with you, and you didn't like this at all.

"I texted you?" When you lifted your phone higher, you started to wonder why he hadn't hugged you when you opened the door. He usually always did. He swallowed hard, and you watched the scars along his neck as his Adam's apple bobbed.

"You really don't remember?"

Now he just sounded really fucking sad, and for some reason your brain was screaming at you that there was something you were definitely supposed to recall from last night. Something about Bradley. You left him at the Hard Deck after he paid for the Scotch, and then you went to dinner and drank more while you thought about him the whole time. But there was definitely something else.

"No. I really don't remember," you whispered, annoyed with yourself. You felt like it was somehow your fault that his lips were pressed in a tight line and his brow was creased.

"It's not important," he replied, all businesslike now. "Can I see your phone for a minute?"

"Yeah," you told him, handing it over and watching while he punched in your passcode. "What did you end up doing all night?"

He sighed and looked at you. "I ended up following you around to no avail."

"Why?" you asked, still clearly missing a piece of this whole puzzle as he started tapping your phone screen with his thumb. 

"That's not important either," he whispered, and you decided you didn't like any of this. 

You snatched your phone out of his hand and wrapped your arms around his neck. Almost reluctantly, he hugged you back before reaching his hand up to where you were holding your phone, trying to get it again. "What do you want my phone for so badly?"

He was acting strange, and when he said nothing in response, you lunged out of his grasp and tapped on your text thread with him. 

"Blaze," he barked out, but it was too late. You read what you'd sent him last night.

Full disclosure, I'm drunk. And I'll probably regret this in the morning, but... I think about kissing you all the time.

"Oh my god!" you screeched. "I didn't delete that?! I hit send!" You couldn't even meet his eyes now as you tried to figure out how to get him to leave so you could cry in peace.

"Blaze, it's okay," he promised, but you knew it wasn't.

"You were going to delete that message. And the ones you sent to me after it," you accused. "Weren't you?" When he just stared at you silently, you realized he was trying to save you from being embarrassed, but it was way too late for that. He didn't want you. He was never going to want you.

"No hard feelings," he said softly. "Go ahead and delete it yourself. We can pretend this never happened."

"No hard feelings?" you practically wailed, afraid you were going to cry in front of him. "I just ruined everything. You were never supposed to know how I feel about you, Bradley."

As soon as you ducked your head away from him, his fingers were under your chin tipping your face up so you were looking him in his impossibly endearing brown eyes. "I need you to explain this to me. Okay?" He took your phone gently from your hand and held it up with the message displayed. "Please, Blaze. Did you mean it? Is that how you think about me?" When you nodded slightly, he readjusted his hand on your face so he was cupping your cheek instead. "Baby, I followed you everywhere last night. I called you and texted you and rode around in a white Toyota with Julian for hours on end."

"Who's Julian?" you ask softly as Bradley slid your phone into his jeans pocket.

"He's my new friend," he replied, which cleared up exactly nothing for you. "I went on this insane chase from Cowboy Star to Cheetahs to Pleasure Town just to try find out if there was even the slightest chance that you really meant what you said."

He closed the distance between your bodies as he stroked his thumb along your cheek. "It was supposed to be my little secret," you whispered. "I just typed it out to see how it would look. I read it in my head and imagined how you might take it. It was supposed to get deleted. You were never supposed to know."

"Is it really so bad that I do?"

His question hung in the air between you, and once again you nodded. "Yes, Bradley. Yes, because it's going to complicate everything now. Work, and our friends, and hanging out at the bar. It's all ruined. Because you'll never look at me the same way you used to."

"Blaze," he rasped. "Baby, I don't want to look at you the same way I used to. Like I was never going to measure up. Like I could never be what you wanted."

You gasped as your eyes went wide. "What are you saying?"

He groaned and pressed his lips to your forehead, and you melted against him. "I'm saying that I chased you all over the city last night hoping like hell that you meant what you said. And that you didn't regret it."

Your head was spinning, but not from the hangover as you thought about how it could feel to be with this man. "You want this?" you asked in awe as your hands eased up along his chest to slip around his neck again.

"Desperately. And if you think you want to see where it goes, we can take it slow, you know?" he asked, his brown eyes hopeful once again. "We don't have to rush into anything crazy."

But you knew you were already kind of crazy about him. You had been for a long time. So you whispered, "I think I could fall in love with you," and his lips came crashing to yours. You moaned into his mouth. His lips and his mustache were even better than all those times you'd imagined kissing him. His huge hands were bunching up the fabric of your dress at your hips. You wanted every part of your body to be touching him from now until forever.

This was how good it felt when you and he stopped pulling your punches. When you both stopped pumping the brakes. You raked your hands through his wavy hair, gasping for breath as you asked, "Did you really try to find me last night?"

"Of course," he promised as you kissed along his mustache and across his cheek. "It was enlightening. I learned a lot about myself. Hey, do you think I'd be a good stripper?"

"God, Rooster," you groaned just thinking about it. "You'd be an excellent stripper."

"I fucking knew it," he grunted, half guiding you and half carrying you to your bedroom. "Listen, we should cuddle right now, but I'm going to need you to come to Hard D Boys with me one night. I'm pretty sure it's just to prove a point, but you never know."

You really weren't positive what he was talking about now, but it didn't matter. His lips were on your neck, and his weight was pressing you down onto your bed, and he was saying the most wonderful thing.

"I know for sure I could fall in love with you."

-----------------------------

He's such a simp, he would chase you anywhere. Imagine taking your brand new boyfriend to his stripper audition just because he has to prove a point. I mean, I wouldn't complain lol. Thanks for reading! And thanks to @beyondthesefourwalls and @thedroneranger

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Instead of "Said", consider

replied

stated

exclaimed

remarked

declared

mentioned

commented

responded

articulated

noted

announced

asserted

observed

suggested

opined

acknowledged

claimed

professed

explained

affirmed