Tomorrows My Birthday! I Drew Something A Little Bit Ago For It That Ill Be Posting Tomorrow. For Now

Tomorrow’s my birthday! I drew something a little bit ago for it that I’ll be posting tomorrow. For now imma post all the food pics o got from the cruise and adding how I felt ably them

I ate like half the fries before taking the pic. Fries were goods, had a nice crisp to them with soft insides. I got the strieght up burger with no onions. It was a meh burger. Not a whole lot of sauce. The patty itself was kind of flavorless and dry. I liked the cheese tho.

I got the Eggs Benedict for breakfast with some hash browns. The eggs Benedict’s itself was disappointing. The eggs were just sort of plain and the ham was there but the biscuit was god awful. Loved the hash browns. I do love me some hash browns. The red thing was a no from me tho.

Had some sad pizza that be and my Mawmaw agreed wasn’t good.

I had some really good calamari for an appetizer at dinner but I didn’t take a pic of it. It came with some fried red pepper and those were great. They were sweet with very little spice and pair well with the slightly lemony calamari.

I didn’t like the red sauce with this one but I did like the shrimp. The mash was pretty good but I didn’t eat much due to the peas in it. The fish cake was too strong for me. I think the broccoli was steamed. It was already. A still was a little crunch which is how I like it :)

The crème brûlée was fine. The caramelize sugar was a little burn and a little to much for be but my Mawmaw loved it.

That’s all. Most of the food has disappointed me but it wasn’t unedible so eh.

About a week ago my sibling and I was having a conversation about random shit. I couldn’t fully understand what they were saying cause we were facing opposite directions. At some point the said something that sounded like they were referring to me as their brother and it hit something in me.

2 or so days later, we were at the mall and I wanted to ask them something. I was very embarrassed but I asked them if they would refer to me as their brother and told them about my misunderstanding. They agreed and we didn’t talk about it after that.

Today I remember it and I wanted to see if they remembered. For some reason I felt scared and embarrassed but I did ask if they remembered and they said yes and that was it.

I’ve been trying to experiment with my gender identity for a while now but every time I do it never goes anywhere. When I tell people to refer to me by different pronouns they forget about it cause I never have anything concrete and don’t remind them. It doesn’t help that I also forget too.

I don’t know why I’m embarrassed or scared to ask my siblings to call me something as simple as brother. I’m not even asking them to call me by he/him but I feel dread when asking about it. Maybe because it feels more concrete when it’s my own flesh and blood ok asking instead of just a friend.

Ive been struggling with this for a while. Where I feel a sense of euphoria when being refer to as a boy but not enough dysphoric to want to stop being a girl. I’ve looked in the mirror so many times, looked at my body, my chest, it doesn’t feel wrong but I can do imagine myself without it.

I think a big reason why I never stick with different pronouns is because I feel like an imposter. Like im faking it. Like I’m not dysphoric enough to be trans or gender-fluid or something else. I feel like I’m putting on an act for attention from people far more vocal about these things. I feel wrong feel bad feel unworthy.

I feel like I’m just looking for things to make me ‘special’ when I’m really not. Maybe I’m embarrassed because it’s all a farce and when it’s revealed I’ll be publicly ridiculed for labeling myself as a minority when in reality I’m not. Maybe im scared because I can’t tell if who I’m looking at in the mirror is really me or not.

I don’t know who I am

I need a little info esc graphic that’s says something like “Who You Should & Shouldn’t Trust To Do You Taxes” and it’s like a list of random people who aren’t accountants like your uncle, your next door neighbor, an alley cat, a random Taco Bell employee, ect. And then in the other list it’s just a raccoon named Terry.

Terry is a very reputable accountant. I trust him to do my taxes. He even has his masters in economics!

Here’s that birthday drawing I was talking about yesterday. Got my main sona and my sort of sona/self-insert, Ruby. My actual sona was sort of an after thought, but I added her cause she is the character I use to represent myself so I feel like it would be weird not to add her.

Apparently I never posted these. They’re from around April. Both of Ruby, one with her and her sister ,Rubs, and one with a duck.

Undertale x Poppy playtime au

Call that ship poppytale or something.

Cast list(up for interpretation)

Frisk is still Frisk cause deflate character or whatever.

Chara is Oliver maybe

Flowey is poppy or something

Toriel is Kissy Missy

Paps and Sans are DogDays and CatNap

For sure Gaster has to be the prototype

Idfk figure the rest out yourself