Did This In Math. Extremely Excited (and Sad I Can't Watch It But OH WELL!!!!!!!)

Did this in math. Extremely excited (and sad I can't watch it but OH WELL!!!!!!!)

There should be a Captain in there somewhere

Alright so I think it's a been a while since some people have read the books so just let me clarify some things.

Let’s start off with Philosophers Stone, in the beginning when Ron isn’t even her friend, and he actually hates her. (And there’s the whole being eleven years old thing.) This is basically when Ron is meanest to Hermione.

“It’s no wonder no one can stand her,” he said to Harry as they pushed their way into the crowded corridor, “she’s a nightmare, honestly.” Someone knocked into Harry as they hurried past him. It was Hermione. Harry caught a glimpse of her face — and was startled to see that she was in tears. “I think she heard you.” “So?” said Ron, but he looked a bit uncomfortable. “She must’ve noticed she’s got no friends.” - Chapter 10, U.S. 172

Hmmm….

”..Harry and Ron overheard Parvati Patil telling her friend Lavender that Hermione was crying in the girls’ bathroom and wanted to be left alone. Ron looked still more awkward at this…”- Chapter 10, U.S. 172

Interesting……Hmmm, he’s not even her friend here, and he looks uncomfortable? And Awkward? Why’s that? Oh maybe because he grew up in a loving family that doesn’t tolerate those kinds of things hmm. But it doesn’t stop there let’s look at Hermione during this time.

“I hope you’re pleased with yourselves. We could all have been killed — or worse, expelled. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to bed.” Ron stared after her, his mouth open. - Chapter 9, U.S. 162

Wow, Hermione isn’t that nice to Ron actually woah….

Ron, at the next table, wasn’t having much more luck. “Wingardium Leviosa!” he shoted, waving his long arms like a windmill. “You’re saying it wrong.” Harry heard Hermione snap. “It’s Wing-gar-dium Levi-o-sa, make the ‘gar’ nice and long.” - Chapter 10, U.S. 171

Wait what?

“All right — I only came in here because people outside are behaving very childishly, racing up and down the corridors,” said Hermione in a sniffly voice. “And you’ve got dirt on your nose, by the way, did you know?” - Chapter 6, U.S. 110

Now Hermione….

“Oh, are you doing magic? Let’s see it, then.” She sat down. Ron looked taken aback. “Er — all right.” He cleared his throat. “Sunshine, daisies, butter mellow, Turn this stupid, fat rat yellow.” He waved his wand, but nothing happened. Scabbers stayed gray and fast asleep. “Are you sure that’s a real spell?” said the girl. “Well, it’s not very good, is it? I’ve tried a few simple spells just for practice and it’s all worked for me. I’ve learned all our course books by heart, of course.”

Jesus Hermione wasn’t that nice either. Shocking aint it? Hermione isn’t God? Oh wow, I almost forgot. HERMIONE HAS FLAWS. Just as many as Ron does, last time I checked she wasn’t canonized. I don’t recall learning about Saint Hermione in religion class. Because Hermione, just like every other human being, has flaws. 

Alright so you’ve seen that then you all (hopefully) all remember what happens next. They become friends yada yada, and knight Ron appears yada yada. Let’s move on to Chamber of Secrets.

“Harry knew at once that Malfoy had said something really bad because there was an instant uproar at his words. Flint had to dive in front of Malfoy to stop Fred and George jumping on him. Alicia shrieked, “How dare you!”, and Ron plunged his hand into his robes, pulling out his wand, yelling, “You’ll pay for that one, Malfoy!” and pointed it furiously under Flint’s arm at Malfoy’s face. A loud bang echoed around the stadium and a jet of green light shot out of the wrong end of Ron’s wand, hitting him in the stomach and sending him reeling backward onto the grass. “Ron! Ron! Are you all right?” squealed Hermione. Ron opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. Instead he gave an almighty belch and several slugs dribbled out of his mouth onto his lap.” -Chapter 7, U.S. 112-113

Do I even have to say anything here?

“I - don’t - like - spiders,” said Ron tensely. “I never knew that,” said Hermione, looking at Ron in surprise. “You’ve used spiders in Potions loads of times…” “I don’t mind them dead,” said Ron, who was carefully looking anywhere but at the window. “I just don’t like the way they move…” Hermione giggled. “It’s not funny,” said Ron, fiercely. “If you must know, when I was three, Fred turned my - my teddy bear into a great big filthy spider because I broke his toy broomstick…. You wouldn’t like them either if you’d been holding your bear and suddenly it had too many legs and…” He broke off, shuddering. Hermione was obviously still trying not to laugh. - Chapter 9, U.S. 154

Yes, yes. It seems really cute aw. But let’s just remember that she’s laughing at a serious phobia. If Ron had done that Hermione would have cried and Ron would have been Satan of course.

Ron shook his head, wide-eyed. Hermione, however, clapped a hand to her forehead. “Harry - I think I’ve just understood something! I’ve got to go to the library!” And she sprinted away, up the stairs. “What does she understand?” said Harry distractedly, still looking around, trying to tell where the voice had come from. “Loads more than I do,” said Ron, shaking his head. “But why’s she got to go to the library?” “Because that’s what Hermione does,” said Ron, shrugging. “When in doubt, go to the library.” -Chapter 14, U.S. 255

Let’s say it together; AWWWW. HE KNOWS HER SO WELL! aND WAS THAT A COMPLIMENT? Oh I think it was!

“I’m quite surprised the Mudbloods haven’t all packed their bags by now,” Malfoy went on. “Bet you five Galleons the next one dies. Pity it wasn’t Granger -” The bell rang at that moment, which was lucky; at Malfoy’s last words, Ron had leapt off his stool, and in the scramble to collect bags and books, his attempts to reach Malfoy were unnoticed. “Let me at him,” Ron growled as Harry and Dean hung onto his arms. “I don’t care, I don’t need my wand, I’m going to kill him with my bare hands-” Chapter 15, U.S. 267

Awww this little cutie is only twelve and so ready to defend her. Can you imagine a little 12 year old Ron trying to be all tough, trying to defend Hermione’s honour like awwww.

“Ron read the message, swallowed hard, and looked sideways at the empty seat usually filled by Hermione. The sight seemed to stiffen his resolve, and he nodded.” -Chapter 15, U.S. 270

RON STOP BEING A CUTIE PATOOTIE THIS INSTANT GOING THROUGH SPIDERS EVEN THOUGH YOU HAVE ARACHNOPHOBIA JUST FOR HERMIONE YA LIL HERO YOU

“You will find that Madam Pomfrey is still awake. She’s just giving out Mandrake juice - I daresay the basilisk’s victims will be waking up any moment.” “So Hermione’s okay!” said Ron brightly. -Chapter 18, U.S. 33

ASFGHJKL RONNNNN MUTHAFUCKIN WEASLEY

oKAY NOW ONTO PRISONER OF AZKABAN OULALA THEY’RE NOW TEENAGERS HORMONE ALERT.

“Hermione,” said Ron, frowning as he looked over her shoulder, “they’ve messed up your schedule. Look - they’ve got you down for about ten subjects a day. There isn’t enough time.” “I’ll manage. I’ve fixed it all with Professor McGonagall.” “But look,” said Ron, laughing, “see this morning? Nine o’clock, Divination. And underneath, nine o’clock, Muggle Studies. And” - Ron leaned closer to her schedule, disbelieving - “look - underneath that, Arithmancy, nine o’clock. I mean, I know you’re good, Hermione, but no one’s that good. How’re you supposed to be in three classes at once?” “Don’t be silly,” said Hermione shortly. “Of course I won’t be in three classes at once.” “Well, then -“ “Pass the marmalade,” said Hermione. “But -“ “Oh, Ron, what’s it to you if my schedule’s a bit full?” Hermione snapped. “I told you, I’ve fixed it all with Professor McGonagall.”-Chapter 6, U.S. 98

HE NOTICES THIS IS JUST UGH LET ME JUST MOVE ON BEFORE I DIE OF FEELS

“Well, look at it logically,” said Hermione, turning to the rest of the group. “I mean, Binky didn’t even die today, did he? Lavender just got the news today -” Lavender wailed loudly. “- and she can’t have been dreading it, because it’s come as a real shock -“ “Don’t mind Hermione, Lavender,” said Ron loudly, “she doesn’t think other people’s pets matter very much.”- Chapter 8, U.S. 149

Did Hermione just like say that to girl who lost a beloved pet. Hermione that’s not very nice. But it’s okay I don’t blame her, she doesn’t know how to express things in the nicest ways, and that’s completely okay because she’s not a saint.

A shower of brilliantly colored sweets fell into Harry’s lap. It was dusk, and Ron and Hermione had just turned up in the common room, pink-faced from the cold wind and looking as though they’d had the time of their lives. -Chapter 8, U.S. 157

I THINK WE ALL WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED ON THE HOGSMEADE TRIP

“That is the second time you have spoken out of turn, Miss Granger,” said Snape coolly. “Five more points from Gryffindor for being an insufferable know-it-all.” Hermione went very red, put down her hands, and stared at the floor with her eyes full of tears. It was a mark of how much the class loathed Snape that they were all glaring at him, because every one of them had called Hermione a know-it-all at least once, and Ron, who told Hermione she was a know-it-all at least twice a week, said loudly, “You asked us a question and she knows the answer! Why ask if you don’t want to be told?”- Chapter 9, U.S. 172

RON YOU LIL CUTIE, GETTING DETENTION TO DEFEND HERMIONE’S HONOUR. YOU ARE TRULY A LIL GINGER KNIGHT YOU CUTIE.

“Anyway…” She glanced over at Ron too. “He doesn’t want me to join in.” There was no arguing with this, as Ron chose that moment to say loudly, “If Scabbers hadn’t been eaten, he could have had some of those Fudge Flies. He used to really like them -“ Hermione burst into tears. Before Harry could say or doing anything, she tucked the enormous book under her arm, and, still sobbing, ran toward the staircase to the girls’ dormitories and out of sight. “Can’t you give her a break?” Harry asked Ron quietly. “No,” said Ron flatly. “”If she just acted like she was sorry - but she’ll never admit she’s wrong, Hermione. She’s still acting like Scabbers has gone on vacation or something.”-Chapter 13, U.S. 264

RON YOU ASSHOLE YOU MADE HERMIONE CR- WAIT WHAT THE FUCK? WHY IS SHE FUCKING CRYING? ER, UM, ALL RON SAID WAS THAT HIS PET LIKED FUDGE FLIES ER, AWKWARD. AND ALL HE WANTS IS AN APOLOGY? FOR (WHAT HE THINKS IS) HIS DEAD BELOVED PET? WOW SORRY RON… I ER, I DIDN’T REALIZE THAT WHAT YOU SAID WASN’T THAT BAD AT ALL, AND YOUR REASONING KIND OF MAKES SENSE OOPS.

“Malfoy’s dad frightened the Committee into it,” said Hermione, wiping her eyes. “You know what he’s like. They’re a bunch of doddery old fools, and they were scared. There’ll be an appeal, though, there always is. Only I can’t see any hope… Nothing will have changed.” “Yeah, it will,” said Ron fiercely. “You won’t have to do all the work alone this time, Hermione. I’ll help.” “Oh, Ron!” Hermione flung her arms around Ron’s neck and broke down completely. Ron, looking quite terrified, patted her very awkwardly on the top of the head. Finally, Hermione drew away. “Ron, I’m really, really sorry about Scabbers…,” she sobbed. “Oh - well - he was old,” said Ron, looking thoroughly relieved that she had let go of him. “And he was a bit useless. You never know, Mum and Dad might get me an owl now.” -Chapter 15, U.S. 292

THIS IS SO FUCKING CUTE HE REALLY LOVED SCABBERS AND HERMIONE DIDN’T EVEN SAY SORRY YET AND HE WAS WILLING TO HELP HERMIONE AND WHEN SHE DID APOLOGIZE HE TRIED TO MAKE HER FEEL BETTER ABOUT IT AND WAS JUST LIKE HE WAS OLD OMG AND DONT FEEL BAD BECAUSE I MIGHT GET AN OWL LIKE MOTHERFUCKIN RON WEASLEY, AND WHY WERE YOU SO SURPRISED BY A HUG RON, HMM WHY YOU LOOK SO TERRIFED, DID YOUR LITTLE FRIEND HAVE A REACTION TO THE HUG.

OKAY LET’S MOVE ON TO GOBLET OF FIRE LET’S GOOOOO

“Granger, they’re after Muggles,” said Malfoy, grinning maliciously. “If you think they can’t spot a Mudblood, stay where you are.” “You watch your mouth!” shouted Ron. Everybody present knew that “Mudblood” was a very offensive term for a witch or wizard of Muggle parentage. “Never mind, Ron,” said Hermione quickly, seizing Ron’s arm to restrain him as he took a step toward Malfoy.- Chapter 9, U.S. 122

oH RONNIE, ALWAYS DEFENDING HERMIONE’S HONOUR YOU CUTIE PATOOTIE

“… Dad could’ve got a promotion any time… he just likes it where he is…” “Of course he does,” said Hermone quietly. “Don’t let Malfoy get to you, Ron-” -Chapter 11, U.S. 169

HERMIONE AWWW YOU’RE LEARNING HOW TO EXPRESS YOUR EMOTIONS AND BE COMFORTING AW YOU’RE NOT JUST A WALKING BRAIN YOU’RE A CUTIE PATOOTIE TOO

“You’re eating again, I notice,” said Ron, watching Hermione adding liberal amounts of jam to her toast too. “I’ve decided there are better ways of making a stand about elf rights,” said Hermione haughtily. “Yeah… and you were hungry,” said Ron, grinning.- Chapter 13, U.S. 194

THIS IS THE FUCKING CUTEST THING IF IM DEAD BY THE END OF THIS POST IT’S BECAUSE OF FEELS LIKE LOOK AT THESE LITTLE FUCKERS

“That idiot, Hogwarts champion?” said Ron as they pushed their way through the chattering crowd toward the staircase. “He’s not an idiot. You just don’t like him because he beat Gryffindor at Quidditch,” said Hermione. “I’ve heard he’s a really good student - and he’s a prefect.” She spoke as though this settled the matter. “You only like him because he’s handsome,” said Ron scathingly. “Excuse me, I don’t like people just because they’re handsome!” said Hermione indignantly Ron gave a loud false cough, which sounded oddly like “Lockhart!” -Chapter 15, U.S. 236

JEALOUS RON = SEXY RON

Jets of light shot from both wands, hit each other in midair, and ricocheted off at angles - Harry’s hit Goyle in the face, and Malfoy’s hit Hermione. Goyle bellowed and put his hands to his nose, where great ugly boils were springing up - Hermione, whimpering in panic, was clutching her mouth. “Hermione!” Ron had hurried forward to see what was wrong with her; Harry turned and saw Ron dragging Hermione’s hand away from her face. It wasn’t a pretty sight. Hermione’s front teeth - already larger than average - were now growing at an alarming rate; she was looking more and more like a beaver as her teeth elongated, past her bottom lip, toward her chin - panic-stricken, she felt them and let out a terrified cry. -Chapter 18, U.S. 299

HE RAN TO SEE IF SHE WAS OKAY RIGHT AWAY IM GOING TO CRY HOW CAN ANYONE HATE HIM THIS PRECIOUS LITTLE BABY

Hermione, however, leaned against the Owlery wall, folded her arms, and frowned at Ron. “Harry’s got a long way to go before he finishes this tournament,” she said seriously. “If that was the first task, I hate to think what’s coming next.” “Right little ray of sunshine, aren’t you?” said Ron. -Chapter 21, U.S. 364

PLAYFUL TEASING AKA FOREPLAY

“All the good-looking ones taken, Ron?” said Hermione, loftily. “Eloise Midgen starting to look quite pretty now, isn’t she? Well, I’m sure you’ll find someone somewhere who’ll have you.” But Ron was staring at Hermione as though suddenly seeing her in a whole new light. “Hermione, Neville’s right - you are a girl…” “Oh well spotted,” she said acidly. “Well - can’t you come with one of us?” “No, I can’t,” snapped Hermione. “Oh come on,” he said impatiently, “we need partners, we’re going to look really stupid if we haven’t got any, everyone else has…” “I can’t come with you,” said Hermione, now blushing, “because I’m already going with someone.” “No, you’re not!” said Ron. “You just said that to get rid of Neville!” “Oh did I?” said Hermione, and her eyes flashed dangerously. “Just because it’s taken you three years to notice, Ron, doesn’t mean no one else spotted I’m a girl!” Ron stared at her. Then he grinned again. “Okay, okay, we know you’re a girl,” he said. “That do? Will you come now?” “I’ve already told you!” Hermione said very angrily. “I’m going with someone else!” And she stormed off toward the girls’ dormitories again. “She’s lying,” said Ron flatly, watching her go. -Chapter 22, U.S. 400

CLUEEEELESS RON, RON IN DENIAL, HERMIONE BLUSHING, NOT THE BEST WAY TO ASK SOMEONE OH YOU CLUELESS LITTLE FUCKER

“Hermione - who are you going to the ball with?” said Ron. He kept springing this question on her, hoping to startle her into a response by asking it when she least expected it. However, Hermione merely frowned and said, “I’m not telling you, you’ll just make fun of me.”-Chapter 23, U.S. 404

WHY YOU SO INTERESTED RON HMMM

“Hermione,” said Ron, looking sideways at her, suddenly frowning, “your teeth…” “What about them?” she said. “Well, they’re different… I’ve just noticed…” “Of course they are - did you expect me to keep those fangs Malfoy gave me?” “No, I mean, they’re different to how they were before he put that hex on you… They’re all… straight and - and normal-sized.” Hermione suddenly smiled very mischievously, and Harry noticed it too: It was a very different smile from the one he remembered. -Chapter 23, U.S. 405

THIS LIL BITCH NOTICES EVERYTHING ABOUT HERMIONE I WONDER WHY HMM

Hermione chose to watch Harry and the Weasleys’ snowball fight rather than join in, and at five o’clock said she was going back upstairs to get ready for the ball. “What, you need three hours?” said Ron, looking at her incredulously and paying for his lapse in concentration when a large snowball, thrown by George, hit him hard on the side of the head. “Who’re you going with?” he yelled after Hermione, but she just waved and disappeared up the stone steps into the castle. -Chapter 23, U.S. 411

JEALOUS RON ASDFGHJKL

“Padma’s going to meet you in the entrance hall,” she added to Ron. “Right,” said Ron, looking around. “Where’s Hermione?” -Chapter 23, U.S. 412

ALL HE CARES ABOUT IS HERMIONE ASDFGHJKL

Where is Hermione?” he said again. -Chapter 23, U.S. 413

AHH

Ron was watching Hermione pass with narrowed eyes. -Chapter 23, U.S. 415

YOURE LOOKIN A LIL BIT GREEN THERE RONNIE

“How’s it going?” Harry asked Ron, sitting down and opening a bottle of butterbeer. Ron didn’t answer. He was glaring at Hermione and Krum, who were dancing nearby. -Chapter 23, U.S. 420

SOMEBODIES JEALOUS WOWZERS

Hermione came over and sat down in Parvati’s empty chair. She was a bit pink in the face from dancing. “Hi,” said Harry. Ron didn’t say anything. “It’s hot, isn’t it?” said Hermione, fanning herself with her hand. Viktor’s just gone to get some drinks.” Ron gave her a withering look. “Viktor?” he said. “Hasn’t he asked you to call him Vicky yet?” Hermione looked at him in surprise. “What’s up with you?” she said. “If you don’t know,” said Ron scathingly, “I’m not going to tell you.” Hermione stared at him, then at Harry, who shrugged. “Ron, what -?” “He’s from Durmstrang!” spat Ron. “He’s competing against Harry! Against Hogwarts! You - you’re -” Ron was obviously casting around for words strong enough to describe Hermione’s crime. “fraternizing with the enemy, that’s what you’re doing!” Hermione’s mouth fell open. “Don’t be so stupid!” she said after a moment. “The enemy! Honestly - who was the one who was all excited when they saw him arrive? Who was the one who wanted his autograph? Who’s got the model of him up in their dormitory?” Ron chose to ignore this. “I s’pose he asked you to come with him while you were both in the library?” “Yes, he did,” said Hermione, the pink patches on her cheeks glowing more brightly. “So what?” “What happened - trying to get him to join spew, were you?” “No, I wasn’t! If you really want to know, he - he said he’d been coming up to the library every day to try and talk to me, but he hadn’t been able to pluck up the courage!” Hermione said this very quickly, and blushed so deeply that she was the same color as Parvati’s robes. “Yeah, well - that’s his story,” said Ron nastily. “And what’s that supposed to mean?” “Obvious, isn’t it? He’s Karkaroff’s student, isn’t he? He knows who you hang around with… He’s just trying to get closer to Harry - get inside information on him - or get near enough to jinx him -“ Hermione looked as though Ron had slapped her. When she spoke, her voice quivered. “For your information, he hasn’t asked me one single thing about Harry, not one -“ Ron changed tack at the speed of light. “Then he’s hoping you’ll help him find out what his egg means! I suppose you’ve been putting your heads together during those cozy little library sessions -“ “I’d never help him work out that egg!” said Hermione, looking outraged. “Never. How could you say something like that - I want Harry to win the tournament, Harry knows that, don’t you, Harry?” “You’ve got a funny way of showing it,” sneered Ron. “The whole tournament’s supposed to be about getting to know foreign wizards and making friends with them!” said Hermione hotly. “No it isn’t!” shouted Ron. “It’s about winning!” People were starting to stare at them. “Ron,” said Harry quietly, “I haven’t got a problem with Hermione coming with Krum -“ But Ron ignored Harry too. “Why don’t you go and find Vicky, he’ll be wondering where you are,” said Ron. “Don’t call him Vicky!” Hermione jumped to her feet and stormed off across the dance floor, disappearing into the crowd. Ron watched her go with a mixture of anger and satisfaction on his face. -Chapter 23, U.S. 421

JUST HAVE SEX ALREADY DANG

“Vare is Herm-own-ninny?” said a voice. Krum had just arrived at their table clutching two butterbeers. “No idea,” said Ron mulishly, looking up at him. “Lost her, have you?” -Chapter 23, U.S. 423

RON STOP TURNIN GREEN IT CLASHES WITH YOUR HAIR

He climbed into the common room and found Ron and Hermione having a blazing row. Standing ten feet apart, they were bellowing at each other, each scarlet in the face. “Well, if you don’t like it, you know what the solution is, don’t you?” yelled Hermione; her hair was coming down out of its elegant bun now, and her face was screwed up in anger. “Oh yeah?” Ron yelled back. “What’s what?” “Next time there’s a ball, ask me before someone else does, and not as a last resort!” Ron mouthed soundlessly like a goldfish out of water as Hermione turned on her heel and stormed up the girls’ staircase to bed. Ron turned to look at Harry. “Well,” he sputtered, looking thunderstruck, “well - that just proves - completely missed the point -“ Harry didn’t say anything. He liked being back on speaking terms with Ron too much to speak his mind right now - but he somehow thought that Hermione had gotten the point much better than Ron had. -Chapter 23, U.S. 432

OH RON YOU LITTLE CLUELESS WEASLEY YOU

Ron and Hermione seemed to have reached an unspoken agreement not to discuss their argument. They were being quite friendly to each other, though oddly formal. -Chapter 24, U.S. 433

INTERESTING

“It’s a lot colder where he comes from,” said Hermione. “I supposed it feels quite warm to him.” “Yeah, but there’s still the giant squid,” said Ron. He didn’t sound anxious - if anything, he sounded hopeful. Hermione noticed his tone of voice and frowned. “He’s really nice, you know,” she said. “He’s not at all like you’d think, coming from Durmstrang. He likes it much better here, he told me.” Ron said nothing. He hadn’t mentioned Viktor Krum since the ball, but Harry found a miniature arm under his bed on Boxing Day, which had looked very much as though it had been snapped off a small model figure wearing Bulgarian Quidditch robes. -Chapter 24, U.S. 444

OUUUU YOU JELLY RON

Fleur bent down, kissed Harry twice on each cheek (he felt his face burn and wouldn’t have been surprised if steam was coming out of his ears again), then said to Ron, “And you too - you ‘elped -“ “Yeah,” said Ron, looking extremely hopeful, “yeah, a bit -“ Fleur swooped down on him too and kissed him, Hermione looked simply furious […] -Chapter 26, U.S. 506

OUUU YOU JELLY HERMIONE

“No, it’s just… how did she know Viktor asked me to visit him over the summer?” Hermione blushed scarlet as she said this and determinedly avoided Ron’s eyes. “What?” said Ron, dropping his pestle with a loud clunk. “He asked me right after he’d pulled me out of the lake,” Hermione muttered. “After he’d got rid of his shark’s head, Madam Pomfrey gave us both blankets and then he sort of pulled me away from the judges so they wouldn’t hear, and he said, if I wasn’t doing anything over the summer, would I like to -“ “And what did you say?” said Ron, who had picked up his pestle and was grinding it on the desk, a good six inches from his bowl, because he was looking at Hermione. “And he did say he’d never felt the same way about anyone else,” Hermione went on, going so red now that Harry could almost feel the heat coming from her, “but how could Rita Skeeter have heard him? She wasn’t there… or was she? Maybe she has got an invisibility cloak; maybe she sneaked onto the grounds to watch the second task…” “And what did you say?” Ron repeated, pounding his pestle down so hard that it dented the desk. -Chapter 27, U.S. 514

JUST MARRY EACH OTHER ALREADY GOSH DARN

We will see each uzzer again, I ‘ope,” said Fleur as she reached him, holding out her hand. “I am ‘oping to get a job ‘ere, to improve my Eenglish.” “It’s very good already,” said Ron in a strangled sort of voice. Fleur smiled at him; Hermione scowled. -Chapter 37, U.S. 724

HERMIOOOONE YOU JEALOUS OF A VEELA GURL

Krum had come to say good-bye to Hermione. “Could I have a vord?” he asked her. “Oh… yes… all right,” said Hermione, looking slightly flustered, and following Krum through the crowd and out of sight. “You’d better hurry up!” Ron called loudly after her. “The carriages’ll be here in a minute!” He let Harry keep a watch for the carriages, however, and spent the next few minutes craning his neck over the crowd to try and see what Krum and Hermione might be up to. They returned quite soon. Ron stared at Hermione, but her face was quite impassive. -Chapter 37, U.S. 725

FUCKING KISS ALREADY YOU JEALOUS FUCKS

NOW LET US MOVE ON TO ORDER OF THE PHOENIX

The door banged open. Hermione came tearing into the room, her cheeks flushed and her hair flying. There was an envelope in her hand. “Did you - did you get it?” She spotted the badge in Harry’s hand and let out a shriek. “I knew it!” she said excitedly, brandishing her letter. “Me too, Harry, me too!” “No,” said Harry quickly, pushing the badge back into Ron’s hand. “It’s Ron, not me.” “It - what?” “Ron’s prefect, no me,” Harry said. “Ron?” said Hermione, her jaw dropping. “But… are you sure? I mean -“ She turned red as Ron looked around at her with a defiant expression on his face. “It’s my name on the letter,” he said. “I…” said Hermione, looking thoroughly bewildered. “I… well… wow! Well done, Ron! That’s really -“ “Unexpected,” said George, nodding. “No,” said Hermione, blushing harder than ever, “no, it’s not… Ron’s done loads of… he’s really…” -Chapter 9, U.S. 162

HERMIONE STOP YOU’RE BREAKING HIS HEART WHY UGH HERMIONE YOU’RE RUINING IT JUST KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT UGH YOU KNOW HOW INSECURE THAT FUCK IS

Harry and Ron both looked at her blankly, and Hermione sighed again. “About You-Know-Who. He said, ‘His gift for spreading discord and enmity is very great. We can fight it only by showing an equally strong bond of friendship and trust -‘” “How do you remember stuff like that?” asked Ron, looking at her in admiration. -Chapter 12, U.S. 223

ADMIRATIIOOOON, ADMIR FUCKING ATION IM GOING TO CRY HE COMPLIMENTED HER FOR NO REASON AT ALL UGH

“Have a butterbeer.” Ron pressed a bottle onto him. “I can’t believe it - where’s Hermione gone?” “She’s there,” said Fred, who was also swigging a butterbeet, and pointed to an armchair by the fire. Hermione was dozing in it, her drink tipping precariously in her hand. “Well, she was pleased when I told her,” said Ron, looking slightly put out. -Chapter 13, U.S. 275

ALL HE WANTS IS HER ATTENTION MY HEART IS RIPPING VIOLENTLY

“How was practice?” asked Hermione rather coolly half an hour later, as Harry and Ron climbed through the portrait hole into the Gryffindor common room. “It was -” Harry began. “Completely lousy,” said Ron in a hollow voice, sinking into a chair beside Hermione. She looked up at Ron and her frostiness seemed to melt. -Chapter 14, U.S. 294

Aw Hermione you do love him don’t youuuu awwww

“You were the only person last year who could throw off the Imperius Curse completely, you can produce a Patronus, you can do all sorts of stuff that full-grown wizards can’t, Viktor always said -” Ron looked around at her so fast he appeared to crick his neck; rubbing it, he said, “Yeah? What did Vicky say?” “Ho ho,” said Hermione in a bored voice. -Chapter 16, U.S. 331

Jealous Ron is back oulala

“Good luck, Ron,” said Hermione, standing on tiptoe and kissing him on the cheek. “And you, Harry -” Ron seemed to come to himself slightly as they walked back across the Great Hall. He touched the spot on his face where Hermione had kissed him, looking puzzled, as though he was not quite sure what had just happened. -Chapter 19, U.S. 404

EEEEEEEK EEEEEK EEEEEK EEEEEK EEEEK EEEEK

Ron made a noise that might have indicated jubilation or disgust, it was hard to tell. “Because she was crying,” Harry continued heavily. “Oh,” said Ron, his smile fading slightly. “Are you that bad at kissing?” “Dunno,” said Harry, who hadn’t considered this, and immediately felt rather worried. “Maybe I am.” “Of course you’re not,” said Hermione absently, still scribbling away at her letter. “How do you know?” said Ron in a sharp voice. -Chapter 21, U.S. 458

Did you guys know that Ron is synonymous with jealous it’s in the thesaurus and everything

A slightly stunned silence greeted the end of this speech, then Ron said, “One person can’t feel all that at once, they’d explode.” “Just because you’ve got the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn’t mean we all have,” said Hermione nastily, picking up her quill again. -Chapter 2, U.S. 459

HAHAHAHA

“Who’re you writing the novel to anyway?” Ron asked Hermione, trying to read the bit of parchment now trailing on the floor. Hermione hitched it up out of sight. “Viktor.” “Krum?” “How many other Viktors do we know?” Ron said nothing, but looked disgruntled. -Chapter 21, U.S. 460

Looks like the teaspoon feels some emotions

“Thanks for the book, Harry!” she said happily. “I’ve been wanting that New Theory of Numerology for ages! And that perfume is really unusual, Ron.” “No problem,” said Ron. -Chapter 23, U.S. 503

DID THE TEASPOON SERIOUSLY GIVE HER PERFUME WELL ISN’T THAT A SUSPICIOUS GIFT NOT SOMETHING YOU’D QUITE GIVE A FRIEND

“Harry, you’re worse than Ron… Well, no, you’re not,” she sighed, as Ron himself came stumping into the Hall splattered with mud and looking grumpy. -Chapter 26, U.S. 572

I always laugh so hard at this, oh Ron ya clueless little git you *sigh* boys

“Oh yeah, I forgot, you’re a Mudblood, Granger, so ten for that…” Ron pulled out his wand, but Hermione pushed it away, whispering, “Don’t!” -Chapter 28, U.S. 626

I AM RON WEASLEY AND I MUST DEFEND HERMIONE GRANGERS HONOUR, TIS IS MY DUTY TO PROTECT THE FAIR MAIDEN

“What do you think about this?” Hermione demanded of Ron, and Harry was reminded irresistibly of Mrs. Weasley appealing to her husband during Harry’s first dinner at Grimmauld Place. -Chapter 29, U.S. 658

Harry aka biggest Romione shipper

Oh, you’re so naive sometimes, Harry. You really think Umbridge will wait for proof?’ said Hermione, who seemed determined to be in a towering temper, and she swept off towards the girls’ dormitories, banging the door behind her. ‘Such a lovely, sweet-tempered girl,’ said Ron, very quietly, prodding his queen forward to beat up one of Harry’s knights.-Chapter 31, U.S. 716

OH RON AHAHAHA MAN DO I LOVE RON OH BOY

NOW LET US MOVE ON TO HALF BLOOD PRINCE

“Don’t you get used to her if she’s staying in the same house?” Harry asked. “Well, you do,” said Ron, “but if she jumps out at you unexpectedly, like then…” “It’s pathetic,” said Hermione furiously, striding away from Ron as far as she could go and turning to face him her arms folded once she had reached the wall. -Chapter 5, U.S. 93

Poor Hermione, Fleur is going to be the least of your problems sweetie

“It’s Amortentia!” “It is indeed. It seems almost foolish to ask,” said Slughorn, who was looking mightily impressed, “but I assume you know what it does?” “It’s the most powerful love potion in the world!” said Hermione. “Quite right! You recognized it, I suppose, by its distinctive mother-of-pearl sheen?” “And the steam rising in characteristic spirals,” said Hermione enthusiastically, “and it’s supposed to smell differently to each of us, according to what attracts us, and I can smell freshly mown grass and new parchment and -“ But she turned slightly pink and did not complete the sentence. -Chapter 9, U.S. 185

RONS HAIR RONS MOTHER FUCKING HAIR SHE SMELLED RONS HAIR RONS FUCKING HAIR RONS MOTHER FUCKING LUCIOUS GINGER SHINY HAIR THAT PROBABLY SMELLS SO NICE AND CLEAN ALL THE TIME RONS FUCKIN HAIR LIKE UGH UGH I JUST UGH

“Well, what’s so impressive about that?” whispered Ron, who for some reason looked annoyed. “You are the best in the year - I’d’ve told him so if he’d asked me!” -Chapter 9, U.S. 186

Ronnnn you lookin a bit green there

“And you’ve been through all that persecution from the Ministry when they were trying to make out that you were unstable and a liar. You can still see the marks on the back of your hand where that evil woman made you write with your own blood, but you stuck to your story anyway…” “You can still see where those brains got hold of me in the Ministry, look,” said Ron, shaking back his sleeves. “And it doesn’t hurt that you’ve grown about a foot over the summer either,” Hermione finished, ignoring Ron. “I’m tall,” said Ron, inconsequentially. -Chapter 11, U.S. 219

Yes you are, you’re also jealoooouuuusssss

What did surprise him was that when Ron drew level with them, Parvati suddenly nudged Lavender, who looked around and gave Ron a wide smile. Ron blinked at her, then returned the smile uncertainly. His walk instantly became something more like a strut. Harry resisted the temptation to laugh, remembering that Ron had refrained from doing so after Malfoy had broken Harry’s nose; Hermione, however, looked cold and distant all the way down to the stadium through the cool, misty drizzle, and departed to find a place in the stands without wishing Ron good luck. -Chapter 11, U.S. 222

ITS STARTIN

“You did brilliantly, Ron!” This time it really was Hermione running toward them from the stands; Harry saw Lavender walking off the pitch, arm in arm with Parvati, a rather grumpy expression on her face. Ron looked extremely pleased with himself and even taller than usual as he grinned at the team and at Hermione. -Chapter 11, U.S. 226

HE FEELS SO ACCOMPLISHED AW

“Good idea,” whispered Hermione, clearly pleased that Harry was calming down. “Ron, what are you staring at?” “Nothing,” said Ron, hastily looking away from the bar, but Harry knew he was trying to catch the eye of the curvy and attractive barmaid, Madam Rosmerta, for whom he had long nursed a soft spot. “I expect ‘nothing’s’ in the back getting more firewhiskey,” said Hermione waspishly. -Chapter 12, U.S. 247

LITTLE DOES HERMIONE KNOW THAT MADAME CURVY IS GOING TO MEAN NOTHING SOON

”’Slug Club,’” repeated Ron with a sneer worthy of Malfoy. “It’s pathetic. Well, I hope you enjoy your party. Why don’t you try hooking up with McLaggen, then Slughorn can make you King and Queen slug-“ “We’re allowed to bring guests,” said Hermione, who from some reason had turned a bright, boiling scarlet, “and I was going to ask you to come, but if you think it’s that stupid then I won’t bother.” Harry suddenly wished the pod had flown a little farther, so that he need not have been sitting here with the pair of them. Unnoticed by either, he seized the bowl that contained the pod and began to try and open it by the noisiest and most energetic means he could think of; unfortunately, he could still hear every word of their conversation. “You were going to ask me?” asked Ron, in a completely different voice. “Yes,” said Hermione angrily. “But obviously if you’d rather I hooked up with McLaggen…” There was a pause while Harry continued to pound the resilient pod with a trowl. “No, I wouldn’t,” said Ron, in a very quiet voice. -Chapter 14, U.S. 282

I SHIP ITTTTTT

“Harry’s snogged Cho Chang! And Hermione snogged Viktor Krum, it’s only you who acts like it’s something disgusting, Ron, and that’s because you’ve got about as much experience as a twelve-year-old!”

GINNY NOOOO

He did not see how he could possibly explain to Hermione that what she had done to offend Ron was kiss Viktor Krum, not when the offense had occurred so long ago. -Chapter 14, U.S. 300

HARRY YOU SHOULD HAVE FUCKING TOLD HER OK GOD JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE THE FUCKING CHOSEN ONE IT DOESN’T MEAN YOU CAN FUCKING THINK YOU CAN JUST WATCH THIS WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING, BOY WHO LIVED? MORE LIKE BOY WHO CAN’T HANDLE RELATIONSHIPS

There was a horrible, swelling, billowing silence. Hermione was staring at Ron, who refused to look at her, but said with an odd mixture of bravado and awkwardness, “Hi, Harry! Wondered where you’d got to!” Hermione slid off the desk. The little flock of golden birds continued to twitter in circles around her head so that she looked like a strange, feathery model of the solar system. “You shouldn’t keep Lavender waiting outside,” she said quietly. “She’ll wonder where you’ve gone.” She walked very slowly and erectly toward the door. Harry glanced at Ron, who was looking relieved that nothing worse had happened. “Oppungo!” came a shriek from the doorway. Harry turned around to see Hermione pointing her wand at Ron, her expression wild: The little flock of birds was speeding like a hail of fat golden bullets toward Ron, who yelped and covered his face with his hands, but the birds attacked, pecking and clawing at every bit of flesh they could reach. “Gerremoffme!” he yelled, but with one last look of vindictive fury, Hermione wrenched open the door and disappeared through it. Harry thought he heard a sob before it slammed. -Chapter 14, U.S. 302

Hermione what the hell he never hurt you like that when you were seeing Krum that’s not fair, let Ron have a boo thing, you got to have yours

Ron, whose hands and forearms still bore scratches and cuts from Hermione’s bird attack, was taking a defensive and resentful tone. “She can’t complain,” he told Harry. “She snogged Krum. So she’s found out someone wants to snog me too. Well, it’s a free country. I haven’t done anything wrong.”-Chapter 15, U.S. 304

No you haven’t actually, wow you’re actually right Ron that makes a lot of fucking sense (LOOKIN AT YOU RON HATERS YOU HATE RON FOR LAVENDER LIKE UM)

“He’s at perfect liberty to kiss whomever he likes,” said Hermione, while the librarian, Madam Pince, prowled the shelves behind them. “I really couldn’t care less.” She raised her quill and dotted an i so ferociously that she punctured a hole in her parchment.-Chapter 15, U.S. 305

oH YES YOU DOOO

“Hi, Parvati!” said Hermione, ignoring Ron and Lavender completely. “Are you going to Slughorn’s party tonight?” “No invite,” said Parvati gloomily. “I’d love to go, though, it sounds like it’s going to be really good… You’re going, aren’t you?” “Yes, I’m meeting Cormac at eight, and we’re -“ There was a noise like a plunger being withdrawn from a blocked sink and Ron surfaced. Hermione acted as though she had not seen or heard anything. “- we’re going up to the party together.” “Cormac?” said Parvati. “Cormac McLaggen, you mean?” “That’s right,” said Hermione sweetly. “The one who almost“ - she put a great deal of emphasis on the word - “became Gryffindor Keeper.” “Are you going out with him, then?” asked Parvati, wide-eyed. “Oh - yes - didn’t you know?” said Hermione, with a most un-Hermione-ish giggle. “No!” said Parvati, looking positively agog at this piece of gossip. “Wow, you like your Quidditch players, don’t you? First Krum, then McLaggen…” “I like really good Quidditch players,” Hermione corrected her, still smiling. “Well, see you… Got to go and get ready for the party…” -Chapter 15, U.S. 313

wHAT THE FUCK. HERMIONE THAT IS REALLY FUCKING MEAN WHATS WRONG WITH YOU THAT WAS A FUCKING BITCH MOVE

“Did you have a good Christmas?” “Yeah,” said Ron at once, “pretty eventful, Rufus Scrim -“ “I’ve got something for you, Harry,” said Hermione, neither looking at Ron nor giving any sign that she had heard him. -Chapter 17, U.S. 351

WAIT A GODDAMN SECOND. WHEN YOU WENT OUT WITH KRUM RON STILL SPOKE WITH YOU AND EVEN ACTED POLITE TO YOU AND WAS ONLY 14 AND STILL ACTED MORE MATURE THAN YOU’RE ACTING COME ON YOURE SUPPOSED TO BE THE BRIGHTEST WITCH OF YOUR AGE GIRL

[…] Harry led Hermione over to the spare table. “So how was your Christmas?” “Oh, fine,” she shrugged. “Nothing special. How was it at Won-Won’s?” “I’ll tell you in a minute,” said Harry. “Look, Hermione, can’t you -?” “No, I can’t,” she said flatly. “So don’t even ask.” “I thought maybe, you know, over Christmas -“ “It was the Fat Lady who drank a vat of five-hundred-year-old wine, Harry, not me.” -Chapter 17, U.S. 352

rON WAS JEALOUS WITH KRUM BUT HE STILL TALKED TO YOU WHAT IS THIS STOP BEING MEAN! HERMIONE? MORE LIKE HERMEANIE

“Ron reckons I should just hang back after Potions this afternoon…” “Oh, well, if Won-Won thinks that, you’d better do it,” she said, flaring up at once. “After all, when has Won-Won’s judgment ever been faulty?” “Hermione, can’t you -?” “No!” she said angrily, and stormed away, leaving Harry alone and ankle-deep in snow. -Chapter 18, U.S. 374

HERMEANIE

“How did you do?” asked Ron, hurrying toward Harry. “I think I felt something the last time I tried - a kind of tingling in my feet.” “I expect your trainers are too small, Won-Won,” said a voice behind them, and Hermione stalked past, smirking. -hapter 18, U.S. 386

hermione stop being an asshole god dammit

Hermione gave an almost inaudible sniff. She had been exceptionally quiet all day. Having hurtled, white-faced, up to Harry outside the hospital wing and demanded to know what had happened, she had taken almost no part in Harry and Ginny’s obsessive discussion about how Ron had been poisoned, but merely stood behind them, clench-jawed and frightened-looking, until at last they had been allowed in to see him. -Chapter 19, U.S. 400

YAY HERMEANIE’S GONE SHE’S FINALLY REALIZED AW SHE DOES CARE FOR HIM AFTER ALL

“Er-my-nee,” croaked Ron unexpectedly from between them. -Chapter 19, U.S. 402

awwwwwww RON YOU SAID HER NAME WHILE YOU WERE UNCONSCIOUS AW YOU CUTIE MUST HAVE BEEN A REALLY SEXY DREAM

He stopped talking very suddenly. Lavender Brown was standing at the foot of the marble staircase looking thunderous. “Hi,” said Ron nervously. “C’mon,” Harry muttered to Hermione, and they sped past, though not before they heard Lavender say, “Why didn’t you tell me you were getting out today? And why was she with you?” Ron looked both sulky and annoyed when he appeared at breakfast half an hour later, and though he sat with Lavender, Harry did not see them exchange a word all the time they were together. Hermione was acting as though she was quite oblivious to all of this, but once or twice Harry saw an inexplicable smirk cross her face. -Chapter 20, U.S. 425

hERMIONE’S SO EVIL BUT ITS SO FUNNY AW POOR LAVENDER AW I ACTUALLY LIKE LAVENDER

“How d’you spell ‘belligerent’?” said Ron, shaking his quill very hard while staring at his parchment. “It can’t be B - U - M -” “No, it isn’t,” said Hermione, pulling Ron’s essay toward her. “And ‘augury’ doesn’t being O - R -G either. What kind of quill are you using?” “It’s one of Fred and George’s spell-check ones… but I think the charm must be wearing off…” “Yes, it must,” said Hermione, pointing at the title of his essay, “because we were asked how we’d deal with dementors, not ‘Dugbogs,’ and I don’t remember you changing your name to ‘Roonil Wazlib’ either.” “Ah no!” said Ron, staring horror-struck at the parchment. “Don’t say I’ll have to write the whole thing out again!” “It’s okay, we can fix it,” said Hermione, pulling the essay toward her and taking out her wand. “I love you, Hermione,” said Ron, sinking back in his chair, rubbing his eyes wearily. Hermione turned faintly pink, but merely said, “Don’t let Lavender hear you saying that.” -Chapter 21, U.S. 449

awwwwww *sighs in admiration*

“No joy,” said Harry, as Ron joined them. “Bad luck, mate, but you’ll pass next time - we can take it together.” “Yeah, I s’pose,” said Ron grumpily. “But half an eyebrow! Like that matters!” “I know,” said Hermione soothingly, “it does seem really harsh…” -Chapter 22, U.S. 476

hermione comforting Ron aww I wonder how she comforted him after they got together

“Ron, you’re making it snow,” said Hermione patiently, grabbing his wrist and redirecting his wand away from the ceiling from which, sure enough, large white flakes had started to fall. Lavender Brown, Harry noticed, glared at Hermione from a neighboring table through very red eyes, and Hermione immediately let go of Ron’s arm. “Oh yeah,” said Ron, looking down at his shoulders in vague surprise. “Sorry… looks like we’ve all got horrible dandruff now…” He brushed some of the fake snow off Hermione’s shoulder. Lavender burst into tears. -Chapter 24, U.S. 514

AWWW IM SO SORRY LAVANDER YOULL FIND SOMEONE WHO LOVES YOU AW, IM SORRY LAV BUT THEY REALLY DO LOVE EACH OTHER, READ SOME ROMIONE FANFIC YOULL FEEL BETTER

“Thanks,” said Harry, grinning. “And what did you tell her Ron’s got?” “A Pygmy Puff, but I didn’t say where.” Ron scowled as Hermione rolled around laughing. -Chapter 25, U.S. 536

AWWWW PLAYFUL TEASING

Ron, he saw, was now holding Hermione and stroking her hair while she sobbed into his shoulder, tears dripping from the end of his own long nose. -Chapter 30, U.S. 647

THEY SO FUCKED

SO NOW ONTO DEATHLY HALLOWS, BECAUSE RIGHT NOW ITS LOOKING PRETTY FUCKING OBVIOUS

Ron tripped dazedly toward Harry and Hermione. “You’re okay,” he mumbled, before Hermione flew at him and hugged him tightly. “I thought - I thought -“ “‘M all right,” said Ron, patting her on the back. “‘M fine.” “Ron was great,” said Tonks warmly, reliquishing her hold on Lupin. “Wonderful. Stunned one of the Death Eaters, straight to the head, and when you’re aiming at a moving target from a flying broom -“ “You did?” said Hermione, gazing up at Ron with her arms still around his neck. “Always the tone of surprise,” he said a little grumpily, breaking free. -Chapter 5, U.S. 76

I JUST

“Don’t!” squealed Hermione. Startled, Harry looked over just in time to see her burst into tears over her copy of Spellman’s Syllabary. “Oh no,” said Harry, struggling to get up from the old camp bed. “Hermione, I wasn’t trying to upset -“ But with a great creaking of rusty bedsprings, Ron bounded off the bed and got there first. One arm around Hermione, he fished in his jeans pocket and withdrew a revolting-looking handkerchief that he had used to clean out the oven earlier. Hastily pulling out his wand, he pointed it at the rag and said, “Tergeo.” The wand siphoned off most of the grease. Looking rather pleased with himself, Ron handed the slightly smoking handkerchief to Hermione. “Oh… thanks, Ron… I’m sorry…” She blew her nose and hiccuped. “It’s just so awful, isn’t it? R-right after Dumbledore… I j-just never imagined Mad-Eye dying, somehow, he seemed so tough!” “Yeah, I know,” said Ron, giving her a squeeze. “But you know what he’d say to us if he was here?” “‘C-constant vigilance,’” said Hermione, mopping her eyes. “That’s right,” said Ron, nodding. “He’d tell us to learn from what happened to him. And what I’ve learned is not to trust that cowardly little squit, Mundungus.” Hermione gave a shaky laugh and leaned forward to pick up two more books. - Chapter 6, U.S. 94

THE TEASPOON HAS TURNED INTO A LARGE SPOON I SEE

“This isn’t your average book,” said Ron. “It’s pure gold: Twelve Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches. Explains everything you need to know about girls. If only I’d had this last year I’d have known exactly how to get rid of Lavender and I would’ve known how to get going with… Well, Fred and George gave me a copy, and I’ve learned a lot. You’d be surprised, it’s not all about wandwork, either.”- Chapter 7, U.S. 113

hE READ A FULL FUCKING BOOK ON HOW TO MAKE HERMIONE INTERESTED THIS IS CUTE AS FUCK

“I’ll pack these for you,” Hermione said brightly, taking Harry’s presents out of his arms as the three of them headed back upstairs. “I’m nearly done, I’m just waiting for the rest of your underpants to come out of the wash, Ron -” Ron’s splutter was interrupted by the opening of a door on the first-floor landing.- Chapter 7, U.S. 115

dONT WORRY RON SHE LIKES YOUR UNDERPANTS OULALA

Hermione made purple and gold streamers erupt from the end of her wand and drape themselves artistically over the trees and bushes. “Nice,” said Ron, as with one final flourish of her wand, Hermione turned the leaves on the crabapple tree to gold. “You’ve really got an eye for that sort of thing.” “Thank you, Ron!” said Hermione, looking both pleased and a little confused.- Chapter 7, U.S. 118

EEP

“But before he went loopy he was the life and soul of the party,” said Fred. “He used to down an entire bottle of firewhiskey, then run onto the dance floor, hoist up his robes, and start pulling bunches of flowers out of his -” “Yes, he sounds like a real charmer,” said Hermione, while Harry roared with laughter. “He never married, for some reason,” said Ron. “You amaze me,” said Hermione.- Chapter 8, U.S. 142

PLAYFUL TEASING THEYRE JUST SO NATURAL WITH EACHOTHER I JUST

Hermione looked pleasurably flustered, but this time Krum had not come to compliment her. With a scowl on his face he said, “Who is that man in the yellow?” “That’s Xenophilius Lovegood, he’s the father of a friend of ours,” said Ron. His pugnacious tone indicated that they were not about to laugh at Xenophilius, despite the clear provocation. “Come and dance,” he added abruptly to Hermione. She looked taken aback, but pleased too, and got up. They vanished together into the growing throng on the dance floor. “Ah, they are together now?” asked Krum, momentarily distracted. “Er - sort of,” said Harry. -Chapter 8, U.S. 147

rons jealous, harry ships it, krum respects it and romiones dancing, what’s not to love about this?

“You’re amazing, you are,” said Ron, handing her his bundled up robes. “Thank you,” said Hermione, managing a small smile as she pushed the robes into the bags.- Chapter 9, U.S. 162

SO MANY COMPLIMENTS MY OH MY RON HAS MATURED

Ron struggled for a moment before managing to extract his wand from his pocket. “It’s no wonder I can’t get it out, Hermione, you packed my old jeans, they’re tight.” “Oh, I’m so sorry,” hissed Hermione, and as she dragged the waitress out of sight of the windows, Harry heard her mutter a suggestion as to where Ron could stick his wand instead.- Chapter 9, U.S. 167

heheheehehehehehehe hermione you so sassy gurl

“That… that was…” Hermione whimpered, as Ron helped her to her feet.- Chapter 9, U.S. 171

SUCH A GENTLEMAN

“Family safe, do not reply, we are being watched.” The Patronus dissolved into nothingness. Ron let out a noise between a whimper and a groan and dropped onto the sofa: Hermione joined him, gripping his arm. “They’re all right, they’re all right!” she whispered, and Ron half laughed and hugged her. - Chapter 9, U.S. 173

im turning into a pile of mush

Harry glanced over at the dark shapes they made on the floor beside him. Ron had a fit of gallantry and insisted that Hermione sleep on the cushions from the sofa, so that her silhouette was raised above his. Her arm curved to the floor, her finger’s inches from Ron’s. Harry wondered whether they had fallen asleep holding hands. - Chaper 10, U.S. 176

Hell yeah they did

Ron glanced at Hermione, then said, “What if purebloods and half-bloods swear a Muggle-born’s part of their family? I’ll tell everyone Hermione’s my cousin -“ Hermione covered Ron’s hand with hers and squeezed it. “Thank you, Ron, but I couldn’t let you -“ “You won’t have a choice,” said Ron fiercely, gripping her hand back. “I’ll teach you my family tree so you can answer questions on it.” - Chapter 11, U.S. 209

IM RON WEASLEY AND MY DUTY IS TO PROTECT THE MAIDENS HONOUR

“Don’t look at me like that!” he snapped at Hermione. “Don’t you start on her!” snarled Ron.- Chapter 11, U.S. 215

IS SOMEONE BEING RUDE TO YOU FAIR MAIDEN, FEAR NOT I AM HERE TO PROTECT YOUR HONOUR, LET NO INSULT STAND YOUR WAY M’LADY

“‘Merlin’s pants’?” repeated Ron, looking amused. “She must be upset.”- Chapter 12, U.S. 226

oH rON

“Snape could send Phineas Nigellus to look inside this house for him,” Hermione explained to Ron as she resumed her seat. “But let him try it now, all Phineas Nigellus will be able to see is the inside of my handbag.” “Good thinking!” said Ron, looking impressed. “Thank you,” smiled Hermione, pulling her soup toward her.- Chapter 12, U.S. 228

Ron you’re such a kiss up

“Respect?” Harry repeated, but Hermione shot him a warning look; apparently he was not to argue with Ron while the latter was in such a weakened condition.- Chapter 14, U.S. 273

IM HERMIONE AND AINT NOBODY INSULTIN MY SEXY PIECE OF GINGER ASS YA HEARD

Hermione was watching Ron fret over the fate of the Cameroles, and there was such tenderness in her expression that Harry felt as if he had surprised her in the act of kissing him.- Chapter 14, U.S. 274

sOOON HARRY SOON

Ron wrenched the chain from over his head and cast the locket into a nearby chair. He turned to Hermione. “What are you doing?” “What do you mean? “Are you staying, or what?” “I…” She looked anguished. “Yes - yes, I’m staying. Ron, we said we’d go with Harry, we said we’d help -“ “I get it. You choose him.” “Ron, no - please - come back, come back!” She was impeded by her own Shield Charm; by the time she had removed it, he had already stormed into the night. Harry stood quite still and silent, listening to her sobbing and calling Ron’s name amongst the trees. After a few minutes she returned, her sopping hair plastered to her face. “He’s g-g-gone! Disapparated!” She threw herself into a chair, curled up, and started to cry.- Chapter 15, U.S. 309

HE DOESN’T MEAN IT IT’S THE DARK MAGIC OMG AND HES ALREADY INSECURE AND STARVING AND DARK MAGIC OMG SO MUCH DARK MAGIC ITS NOT HIS FAULT HE TRIED TO COME BACK RIGHT AWAY HERMIONE PLEASE ITS NOT HIS FUCKING FAULT

Then a voice hissed from out of the Horcrux. “I have seen your heart, and it is mine.” “Don’t listen to it!” Harry said harshly. “Stab it!” “I have seen your dreams, Ronald Weasley, and I have seen your fears. All you desire is possible, but all that you dread is also possible…” “Stab!” shouted Harry; his voice echoed off the surrounding trees, the sword point trembled, and Ron gazed down into Riddle’s eyes. “Least loved, always, by the mother who craved a daughter… Least loved, now, by the girl who prefers your friend… Second best, always, eternally overshadowed…” “Ron, stab it now!” Harry bellowed; He could feel the locket quivering in his grip and was scared of what was coming. Ron raised the sword still higher, and as he did so, Riddle’s eyes gleamed scarlet. Out of the locket’s two windows, out of the eyes, there bloomed two grotesque bubbles, the heads of Harry and Hermione, wierdly distorted. Ron yelled in shock and backed away as the figures blossomed out of the locket, first chests, then waists, then legs, until they stood in the locket, side by side like trees with a common root, swaying over Ron and the real Harry, who had snatched his fingers away from the locket as it burned, suddenly, white-hot. “Ron!” he shouted, but the Riddle-Harry was now speaking with Voldemort’s voice and Ron was gazing, mesmerized, into its face. “Why return? We were better without you, happier without you, glad of your absence… We laughed at your stupidity, your cowardice, your presumption -” “Presumption!” echoed the Riddle-Hermione, who was more beautiful and yet more terrible than the real Hermione: She swayed, cackling, before Ron, who looked horrified yet transfixed, the sword hanging pointlessly at his side. “Who could look at you, who would ever look at you, beside Harry Potter? What have you ever done, compared with the Chosen One? What are you, compared with the Boy Who Lived?” “Ron, stab it, STAB IT!” Harry yelled, but Ron did not move: His eyes were wide, and the Riddle-Harry and Riddle-Hermione were reflected in them, their hair swirling like flames, their eyes shining red, their voices lifted in an evil duet. “Your mother confessed,” sneered Riddle-Harry, while Riddle-Hermione jeered, “that she would have preferred me as a son, would be glad to exchange…” “Who wouldn’t prefer him, what woman would take you, you are nothing, nothing, nothing to him,” crooned Riddle-Hermione, and she stretched like a snake and entwined herself around Riddle-Harry, wrapping him in a close embrace: Their lips met. On the ground in front of them, Ron’s face filled with anguish. He raised the sword high, his arms shaking. “Do it, Ron!” Harry yelled. Ron looked toward him, and Harry thought he saw a trace of scarlet in his eyes. “Ron -?” The sword flashed, plunged: Harry threw himself out of the way, there was a clang of metal and a long, drawn-out scream. Harry whirled around, slipping in the snow, wand held ready to defend himself: but there was nothing to fight. The monstrous versions of himself and Hermione were gone: There was only Ron, standing there with the sword held slackly in his hand, looking down at the shattered remains of the locket on the flat rock. Slowly, Harry walked back to him, hardly knowing what to say or do. Ron was breathing heavily: His eyes were no longer red at all, but their normal blue; they were also wet. Harry stooped, pretending he had not seen, and picked up the broken Horcrux. Ron had pierced the glass in both windows: Riddle’s eyes were gone, and the stained silk lining of the locket was smoking slightly. The thing that had lived in the Horcrux had vanished; torturing Ron had been its final act. The sword clanged as Ron dropped it. He had sunk to his knees, his head in his arms. He was shaking, but not, Harry realized, from cold. Harry crammed the broken locket into his pocket, knelt down beside Ron, and placed a hand cautiously on his shoulder. He took it as a good sign that Ron did not throw it off. “After you left,” he said in a low voice, grateful for the fact that Ron’s face was hidden, “she cried for a week. Probably longer, only she didn’t want me to see. There were loads of nights when we never even spoke to each other. With you gone…” He could not finish it; it was only now that Ron was here again that Harry fully realized how much his absence had cost them. “She’s like my sister,” he went on. “I love her like a sister and I reckon she feels the same way about me. It’s always been like that. I thought you knew.”- Chapter 19, U.S. 375

i just want to hug Ron omg no how can anyone hate him omg hating Ron is like hating a puppy look at this shit AND RARRY BROTP AM I RIGHT

She saw Ron, who stood there holding the sword and dripping onto the threadbare carpet. Harry backed into a shadowy corner, slipped off Ron’s rucksack, and attempted to blend in with the canvas. Hermione slid out of her bunk and moved like a sleepwalker toward Ron, her eyes upon his pale face. She stopped right in front of him, her lips slightly parted, her eyes wide. Ron gave a weak, hopeful smile and half raised his arms. Hermione launched herself forward and started punching every inch of him that she could reach. “Ouch - ow - gerroff! What the -? Hermione - OW!” “You - complete - arse - Ronald - Weasley!” She punctuated every word with a blow: Ron backed away, shielding his head as Hermione advanced. “You - crawl - back - here - after - weeks - and - weeks - oh, where’s my wand?” She looked as though ready to wrestle it out of Harry’s hands and he reacted instictively. “Protego!” The invisible shield erupted between Ron and Hermione: The force of it knocked her backward onto the floor. Spitting hair out of her mouth, she leapt up again. “Hermione!” Harry said. “Calm -“ “I will not calm down!” she screamed. Never before had he seen her lose control like this; she looked quite demented. “Give me back my wand! Give it to me!” “Hermione, will you please -“ “Don’t you tell me what to do, Harry Potter!” she screeched. “Don’t you dare! Give it back now! And YOU!” She was pointing at Ron in dire accusation: It was like a malediction, and Harry could not blame Ron for retreating several steps. “I came running after you! I called you! I begged you to come back!” “I know,” Ron said, “Hermione, I’m sorry, I’m really -“ “Oh, you’re sorry!” She laughed, a high pitched, out-of-control sound; Ron looked at Harry for help, but Harry merely grimaced his helplessness. “You come back after weeks - weeks - and you think it’s all going to be all right if you say sorry?” “Well, what else can I say?” Ron shouted, and Harry was glad that Ron was fighting back. “Oh, I don’t know!” yelled Hermione with awful sarcasm. “Rack your brains, Ron, that should only take a couple of seconds -“ “Hermione,” interjected Harry, who considered this a lot blow, “he just saved my -“ “I don’t care!” she screamed. “I don’t care what he’s done! Weeks and weeks, we could have been dead for all he knew -“ “I knew you weren’t dead!” bellowed Ron, drowning her voice for the first time, and approaching as close as he could with the Shield Charm between them. “Harry’s all over the Prophet, all over the radio, they’re looking for you everywhere, all these rumors and mental stories, I knew I’d hear straight off if you were dead, you don’t know what it’s been like -“ “What it’s been like for you?” Her voice was now so shrill only bats would be able to hear it soon, but she had reached a level of indignation that rendered her temporarily speechless, and Ron seized his opportunity. “I wanted to come back the minute I’d Disapparated, but I walked straight into a gang of Snatchers, Hermione, and I couldn’t go anywhere!”- Chapter 19, U.S. 379

HERMIONE STOP RON DOESN’T DESERVE THAT

“One thing I would like to know, though,” she said, fixing her eyes on a spot a foot over Ron’s head. “How exactly did you find us tonight? That’s important. Once we know, we’ll be able to make sure we’re not visited by anyone else we don’t want to see.” Ron glared at her, then pulled a small silver object from his jeans pocket.  “I was listening to the radio really early on Christmas morning and I heard… I heard you.” He was looking at Hermione.- Chapter 19, U.S. 383

TOOOO FLUFFY SO FLUFFY IT’S SO GODAMN FLUFFY

Hermione put the vanquished Horcrux into the beaded bag, then climbed back into her bed and settled down without another word. Ron passed Harry the new wand. “About the best you could hope for, I think,” murmured Harry. “Yeah,” said Ron. “Could’ve been worse. Remember those birds she set on me?” “I still haven’t ruled it out,” came Hermione’s muffled voice from beneath her blankets, but Harry saw Ron smiling slightly as he pulled his maroon pajamas out of his rucksack.- Chapter 19, U.S. 386

fluuuufff

“The Deluminator turned out to be pretty useful,” piped up Ron. “I think Hermione’s right, I think we ought to go and see Lovegood.” Harry threw him a dark look. He was quite sure that Ron’s support of Hermione had little to do with a desire to know the meaning of the triangular rune.- Chapter 20, U.S. 395

Im pretty sure his desire was to see a triangular rune, but not the one that’s part of the deathly hallows

When Hermione returned to her bunk, Harry lowered his voice. “You only agreed to try and get back in her good books.” “All’s fair in love and war,” said Ron brightly, “and this is a bit of both.”- Chapter 20, U.S. 396

HE JUST ADMITTED HE LOVES HER YASS

“Get - off - her!” Ron shouted. There was the unmistakable sound of knuckles hitting flesh: Ron grunted in pain and Hermione screamed, “No! Leave him alone, leave him alone!” “Your boyfriend’s going to have worse than that done to him if he’s on my list,” said the horribly familiar, rasping voice.- Chapter 23, U.S. 447

GET YOUR HANDS OF THE MAIDEN, I AM RON WEASLEY AND I WILL DIE TO PROTECT HER HONOUR

“Take these prisoners down to the cellar, Greyback.” “Wait,” said Bellatrix sharply. “All except… except for the Mudblood.” Greyback gave a grunt of pleasure. “No!” shouted Ron. “You can have me, keep me!” Bellatrix hit him across the face; the blow echoed around the room. “If she dies under questioning, I’ll take you next,” she said.- Chapter 23, U.S. 463

WHAT THE FUCK RON OMG YOURE SO FUCKING PERFECT YOU BETTER HAVE GOTTEN SOME GREAT SEX WITH HERMIONE YOU CARE SO MUCH ABOUT HER OH MY GOODNESS

“Reckon she’ll let me have a bit of the girl when she’s finished with her?” Greyback crooned as he forced them along the corridor. “I’d say I’ll get a bite or two, wouldn’t you, ginger?” Harry could feel Ron shaking.- Chapter 23, U.S. 463

fucking tell me you don’t like Ron like go ahead I’ll just show you fucking this like what I can’t even ugh

The echoing bang of the slammed cellar door had not died away before there was a terrible, drawn-out scream from directly above them. “HERMIONE!” Ron bellowed, and he started to writhe and struggle against the ropes tying them together, so that Harry staggered. “HERMIONE!” “Be quiet!” Harry said. “Shut up, Ron, we need to work out a way -“ “HERMIONE! HERMIONE!”

- Chapter 23, U.S. 464

Hermione screamed again from overhead, and they could hear Bellatrix screaming too, but her words were inaudible, for Ron shouted again, “HERMIONE! HERMIONE!”

- Chapter 23, U.S. 464

“I’m going to ask you again! Where did you get this sword? Where?” “We found it - we found it - PLEASE!” Hermione screamed again: Ron struggled harder than ever, and the rusty nail slipped onto Harry’s wrist.

- Chapter 23, U.S. 465

From above came Bellatrix’s voice. “You are lying, filthy Mudblood, and I know it! You have been inside my vault at Gringotts! Tell the truth, tell the truth!” Another terrible scream - “HERMIONE!” “What else did you take? What else have you got? Tell me the truth or, I swear, I shall run you through with this knife!” “There!” Harry felt the ropes fall away and turned, rubbing his wrists, to see Ron running around the cellar, looking up at the low ceiling, searching for a trapdoor.

- Chapter 23, U.S. 465

"What else did you take, what else? ANSWER ME! CRUCIO!” Hermione’s screams echoed off the walls upstairs, Ron was half sobbing as he pounded the walls with his fists […]

- Chapter 23, U.S. 466

He tilted the shard of mirror this way and that, and saw nothing reflected there but the walls and ceiling of their prison, and upstairs Hermione was screaming worse than ever, and next to him Ron was bellowing, “HERMIONE! HERMIONE!”

HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO NOT LOVE HIM LIKE LOOK AT THIS FUCKING PART WHO DO PEOPLE NOT SHIP ROMIONE IF YOU DONT FUCKING SHIP ROMIONE YOU DONT FUCKING SHIP LOVE LIKE LOOK AT THIS SHIT I CANNOT EVEN IM SO UGH IM THIS HUGE PUDDLE OF EMOTIONS IM GOING TO CRY LIKE HERE SHE IS BEING TORTURED AND RON LITERALLY FEELS AS MUCH PAIN AS SHE DOES JUST BECAUSE SHES THE ONE BEING TORTURED

"And I think,” said Bellatrix’s voice, “we can dispose of the Mudblood. Greyback, take her if you want her.” “NOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Ron had burst into the drawing room; Bellatrix looked around, shocked; she turned her wand to face Ron instead -- Chapter 23, U.S. 472

ron motherfucking weasley this is so fucking emotional

Hermione was wrapped in a borrowed dressing gown, pale and unsteady on her feet; Ron put an arm around her when she reached him.- Chapter 24, U.S. 480

the angst the fluff the sweetness i cant handle it

And then he skidded around a final corner and with a yell of mingled relief and fury he saw them: Ron and Hermione, both with their arms full of large, curved, dirty yellow objects, Ron with a broomstick under his arm. “Where the hell have you been?” Harry shouted. “Chamber of Secrets,” said Ron. “Chamber - what?” said Harry, coming to an unsteady halt before them. “It was Ron, all Ron’s idea!” said Hermione breathlessly. “Wasn’t it absolutely brilliant? There we were, after you left, and I said to Ron, even if we find the other one, how are we going to get rid of it? We still hadn’t got rid of the cup! And then he thought of it! The basilisk!” “What the -?” “Something to get rid of Horcruxes,” said Ron simply. Harry’s eyes dropped to the objects clutched in Ron and Hermione’s arms; great curved fangs, torn, he now realized, from the skull of a dead basilisk. “But how did you get in there?” he asked, staring from the fangs to Ron. “You need to speak Parseltongue!” “He did!” whispered Hermione. “Show him, Ron!” Ron made a horrible strangled hissing noise. “It’s what you did to open the locket,” he told Harry apologetically. “I had to have a few goes to get it right, but,” he shrugged modestly, “we got there in the end.” “He was amazing!” said Hermione. “Amazing!”- Chapter 31, U.S. 623

ron you clever motherfucker

“Hang on a moment!” said Ron sharply. “We’ve forgotten someone!” “Who?” asked Hermione. “The house-elves, they’ll all be down in the kitchen, won’t they?” “You mean we ought to get them fighting?” asked Harry. “No,” said Ron seriously, “I mean we should tell them to get out. We don’t want any more Dobbies, do we? We can’t order them to die for us -“ There was a clatter as the basilisk fangs cascaded out of Hermione’s arms. Running at Ron, she flung them around his neck and kissed him full on the mouth. Ron threw away the fangs and broomstick he was holding and responded with such enthusiasm that he lifted Hermione off her feet. “Is this the moment?” Harry asked weakly, and when nothing happened except Ron and Hermione gripped each other still more firmly and swayed on the spot, he raised his voice. “OI! There’s a war going on here!” Ron and Hermione broke apart, their arms still around each other. “I know, mate,” said Ron, who looked as though he had recently been hit on the back of the head with a Bludger, “so it’s now or never, isn’t it?” “Never mind that, what about the Horcrux?” Harry shouted. “D’you think you could just - just hold it in until we’ve got the diadem?” “Yeah - right - sorry,” said Ron, and he and Hermione set about gathering up fangs, both pink in the face.- Chapter 31, U.S. 625

YAASSSSSSSS YAS YAS YAS YAS YA SYAS YASY AS YASIT HAPPENED HARRY YOU FUCKING COCKBLOCKER THAT SEEMED LIKEA REALLY FUCKING SEXY KISS THAT HAD FUCKING TONGUE AND LIP BITES AND RON WAS GRIPPING HERMIONE AND HERMIONE WAS GRIPPING RON AND THEY WERE PROBABLY GOING TO FUCK RIGHT THEN AND THERE HOLY SHIY IT FINALLY HAPPENED HELL FUCKING YES WHAT ANA AMAZING KISSS I SHIP IT SO HARD THANK YOU JO

YAAAAA

Rose, who was already wearing her brand-new Hogwarts robes, beamed at him. “Parked all right, then?” Ron asked Harry. “I did. Hermione didn’t believe I could pass a Muggle driving test, did you? She though I’d have to Confund the examiner.” “No, I didn’t,” said Hermione, “I had complete faith in you.” “As a matter of fact, I did Confund him,” Ron whispered to Harry, as together they lifted Albus’s trunk and owl onto the train. “I only forgot to look in the wing mirror, and let’s face it, I can use a Supersensory Charm for that.” Back on the platform, they found Lily and Hugo, Rose’s younger brother, having an animated discussion about which House they would be sorted into when they finally went to Hogwarts. “If you’re not in Gryffindor, we’ll disinherit you,” said Ron, “but no pressure.” “Ron!” - Epilogue, U.S. 755

theyre married! THEY HAVE CHILDREN. THEYRE PLAYFUL, THEYVE FRICK FRACKED THEYRE PERFECT THEY LOVE EACH OTHER HOLY JESUS

“So that’s little Scorpius,” said Ron under his breath. “Make sure you beat him at every test, Rosie. Thank God you inherited your mother’s brains.” “Ron, for heaven’s sake,” said Hermione, half stern, half amused. “Don’t try to turn them against each other before they’ve even started school!” “You’re right,” said Ron, but unable to help himself, he added, “Don’t get too friendly with him, though, Rosie. Granddad Weasley would never forgive you if you married a pureblood.”- Epilogue, U.S. 756

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

OH MAN LOOK AT THESE TWO

So there you have it. The real Ron and Hermione are cuties and amazing, and there is nothing abusing or terrible in their relationship. I don’t know what kind of fanfic some people have been reading. But this is canon Ron and Hermione and I love it. As should everyone else because let’s be real, even Satan ships it.

Eyes. I have them. Two, actually!

Just read!!! I'm so happy now!!! #theamazingbookisnotonfire amazingphil #danisnotonfire ➕

I am now obsessed with this man. Why did it take me this long?