This Is Probably A Kinda Dumb Question But I've Been Meaning To Ask This Since I First Heard Your Voice

this is probably a kinda dumb question but i've been meaning to ask this since i first heard your voice on one of your streams have you started voice training yet i ask because i genuinely can't tell

not a dumb question at all! actually, this is a great springboard into something...

i haven't done any voice training at all, no. often on phone calls, people will get confused about whether to call me "ma'am" or "sir"... but the higher the quality of the call, like on discord or on streams, the easier it is to tell. IRL it's rather obvious that i've got a nerdy guy's voice.

i've always been a little self-conscious about it – before i transitioned i was too self-conscious about getting called "ma'am" on the phone, now i'm self-conscious about "passing" as a genderfluid person (whatever that means). funny how gender roles always play into it, even when they don't make sense.

honestly, i'm less concerned about it now that i've been streaming for so long... it helped me get used to hearing the sound of my own voice, helped me understand what strengths and weaknesses i have when i do silly voices on stream. and, really, isn't that kind of what voice training is about?

that said, i have wanted to sit down and proper voice training one of these days, not because i want my voice to sound more feminine (though that would be nice) – rather, i'd like to expand the range of my voice.

cause as a kid, my voice used to have range! i would mimic voices of TV characters and sing all the songs in the hymnal at church. i LOVED getting to express myself like that!

until one day i was at church singing my heart out and i felt my voice crack. and i stopped singing so loud, and i stopped parroting cartoon quotes, and i stopped being so confident.

it's one thing for my voice to crack and deepen and start to sound like a man's voice... but that wasn't really the problem. the problem was that i lost my entire upper register. i would go to sing or use that register and nothing would come out. even now i can reach for that part of my vocal cords when i speak – like i can still feel it there! – but nothing comes out, or at best i get a weak little noise.

so when i do voice training i want to build up that part of my voice again... not just because of gender roles, not just because i miss it, but because i think that would be amazing for my confidence as a streamer and entertainer. i don't expect to ever go pro with voice acting or anything, i just want to make silly voices and sound like what i hear in my head!

new pre-stream archive! in which i give an update on the Retrush developer commentaries, talk about new Mari0 projects in the pipeline, and reminisce on more old levels that i'd love to show on stream someday…

new stream archive, in which we meet some of the greater Puyo series cast! but they don't seem quite themselves…

new stream archive, in which i talk about my smooth upgrade to Windows 11, future stream ideas, and how streaming after my long day of errands proves that my health is improving…!

new stream highlights video in the works! looking to be 15-20 minutes, which is WILD considering i was expecting 5-10 minutes tops lmfao. was a surprisingly entertaining playthrough 💖

new stream archive! in which we visit Not Staten Island and assert our dominance by grinding on things that probably aren't safe to grind on??