THIS

THIS

but i figured it out a bit earlier, and had a professional tell me i display enough traits to have ASD but not enough for government funding bc healthcare is shit and i camouflage too much >:P

friend asked recently how I knew I was autistic (late self dx) and after a joking answer of ‘five autistic people told me unprompted in the span of about two weeks, I settled on: I don’t.

I don’t Know that I’m autistic. What I do know is that my life makes more sense, and is easier to navigate, when I view it through the lens of being autistic.

I learnt what masking was, and started to undo the damage of 20+ years of it. I let myself stim for the first time out of joy and it was incredible. I recognised it as a regulation skill and started using it for coping. I stopped being cruel to myself about making ‘weird’ noises, I let myself ask for tone clarification from friends. I stopped thinking I was being rude by mimicking others (echolalia). I started respecting my own communication needs and differences. I started being able to communicate these with friends and loved ones, and had the language to do so. I recognised my sensory needs and was better at reducing shutdowns and meltdowns (which is also been confused by and blamed myself for in the past). I also could better identify things that were genuinely impeding on my life and ways to work with myself around them. (Social situations are easier now that I know what information I need before hand, and can prepare. I know what the difficulty involved in switching tasks is and can work with myself on it.)

Mostly I stopped bullying myself the way I’d been bullied growing up for everything that has made me ‘weird’. I stopped policing everything I did the way my parents had in an effort to ‘help’ me blend in. (I don’t resent them for this- I understand that what they did to me is likely what was done to them and they didn’t (and don’t) recognise it.)

Not a weird or broken horse, but a regular zebra.

Ronny Arendt

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hes an ice hockey player so extra points ig

ur government assigned gender for the day is the first thing u get when u click this link to a randomised wikipedia article. NO REROLLS . i am the  trollsteineggje mountain in norway

not me reblogging it myself bc i got hungry :>

doing this bc im bored also i need motivation to actually get through life rn lmaooo

5 notes - ill get up and make a sandwich for dinner

25 notes - ill finish all my assignments

50 notes - ill work on my art wips

75 notes - ill shower for a week straight

100 notes - ill try to eat three full meals a day for a week

150 notes - ill work out again

200 notes - ill get vocals recorded for some songs

250 notes - ill organise my clothes

300 notes - ill deep clean my room

500 notes - ill text my crush first

1000 notes - ill try to talk to my parents about gender

2500 notes - ill tell my friend who my crush is

5000 notes - ill confess (GOD PLEASE NO)

10,000 notes - ill call the bank to resolve all of the finance issues and get my card working again

15,000 notes - ill get rid of THAT addiction (its gonna be so fucking hard but i swear ill try if we get to it)

imagine once being one of those "lycanthropes/zooanthropes/physical therians are mentally ill and shit like that" and then awakening as a literal angel like yes im a satanist but i still believe in god and i just kinda ran away and now im living in this mortal shell but it kinda hurts :/

Sometimes

Sometimes I'm a boy

Sometimes I'm a girl

Sometimes I'm both

Sometimes I'm neither

Sometimes I'm something else

Something I'm a mess of it all

Sometimes I'm all human

Sometimes I'm all animal

Sometimes I'm halfway

Sometimes I'm a mix

Sometimes I'm happy

Sometimes I'm sad

Sometimes I'm lonely

Sometimes I'm angry

Sometimes I'm not sure what I feel

Sometimes I'm in love

Sometimes I'm not

Sometimes I'm figuring it out

Sometimes I'm scared about it

Sometimes I'm sure of it

Sometimes I'm attracted to girls

Sometimes I'm attracted to boys

Sometimes I'm not attracted

Sometimes I'm attracted to in betweens

Sometimes I'm attracted to the others

Sometimes I'm attracted to the nothings

All the time I'm me

IM FREAKING OUT MY CRUSH JUST SENT ME A FRIEND REQUEST ON DISCORD (I DIDNT BC I WAS TOO SCARED) AND I FUCKING SCREAMED AND FLAPPED MY HANDS OML I THINK I LOVE HIM 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭