smrtnik07 - smrtnik
smrtnik

they/them || # art i made - art that i made || big into projmoon and bugs and stuff || pfp OK, repost NO || commissions closed for now!

413 posts

My Aggie Corner With Classmates N Stuff :)

My Aggie Corner With Classmates N Stuff :)

my aggie corner with classmates n stuff :)

more detailed screenshots below cut

My Aggie Corner With Classmates N Stuff :)

im redesigning all the librarians and i saved roland for last bc i wanted to do angelica first so their designs would be harmonic together and then i had to do her TWINk ass brother.. gave them matching hair and face shape n all. she has somewhat softer shaped eyes tho :)

My Aggie Corner With Classmates N Stuff :)

my muse tbh. ive been drawing her with cornrows lately, in this aggie thing the braids are too big tbh. other times i draw them smaller. didnt feel like it rn tho.

My Aggie Corner With Classmates N Stuff :)

librarians redesigns coming soon i just wanted to comment on how yellow blush changed my life. its so good..

My Aggie Corner With Classmates N Stuff :)

i can count the pixels on her/pos

My Aggie Corner With Classmates N Stuff :)
My Aggie Corner With Classmates N Stuff :)
My Aggie Corner With Classmates N Stuff :)

:) ok thats all bye

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More Posts from Smrtnik07

1 year ago

Call Her Ishmael (or: a trans reading of one of my favorite Limbus characters)

Hi, I have been thinking about writing something like this since Canto V first released and today I finally felt inspired to actually make this... A compilation of the parts of Ishmael's story that lead me to reading her as trans <3 and why I think that understanding her character though that lens works so well

Art of Ishmael in business attire standing at the City docks, she is staring lifelessly at a bulletin board

We begin with a woman stuck in the mundane. No plans for the future, no dreams of a life beyond the one she is currently living in, and that life is one she has long grown tired of. And she decides she would rather quit living that life, even if it would kill her. Everyone told her not to do this, but she wanted (needed) to do something new with her life.

Internal dialogue from Ishmael: Aimlessly taking tests, earning certificates, finding a place in a nest, landing myself a good career.  Struggle in an endless competition, writhing and thrashing every single day to be a feather of a Wing so that I won't fall behind. All that to trap myself into a desk job, to make money...

Spoken dialogue from Ishmael: Yeah. I quit.  ... What am I going do now? I don't know. I don't care.

Continued internal dialogue: I wanted to leave everything behind. Everyone that told me to not do this. I wanted this dreary existence to end.  I don't know if that meant that I wanted to die, or if I just wanted to do something new with my life. But I knew that I was always fond of the waters.  So if I were to die... I wanted to die near a body of water.

She finds Ahab here, when she is at this low where she is unsure of where to go from here now that she has cast her old life away. She looks at Ahab and sees a woman with goals, determination, serious plans for the future she is willing to commit to. And she wants to be just like that woman. She wants to be a woman who will choose what her destiny is, choose what life she has.

"I hoped to be like her one day. To be someone who will face the destiny of her own choosing. To have something I could give it my all with conviction and without a moment of hesitation."

And when she gets on that boat and starts this new chapter in her life, well. There she meets Queequeg, and is asked for her name...

Dialogue between Queequeg and Ishmael.

Queequeg: Your name. What?
Ishmael: My name? W-why?
Queequeg: Because, your hair color. I like it. Whales. When they die, they turn to the sun. And your hair color. Sunset-color. So when I throw the harpoon, Whales turn to you. We can be good friends.
Ishmael: Well... call me Ishmael, if you please.

Queequeg asking her name, something that surprises Ishmael, and complimenting her hair is a defining moment in Ishmael's life and in their relationship. And not only is it the first conversation they have, it is the also last thing Queequeg asks of her. To hear Ishmael's name one more time is something that will bring not only herself comfort, but she knows will stabilize Ishmael as well in this moment. That it will bring her back to when they had first met, to the fond memories of a good friend who had asked for her name. Ishmael's name, her identity, the one she forged on that boat even through great difficulty is what shaped her into being herself... That is how their relationship begins and ends...

Dialogue between Queequeg and Ishmael

Ishmael: I, I should have been more... I should have...
Queequeg: Hey. Your name. Tell me. Once more.
Dialogue between Queequeg and Ishmael

Ishmael: ... Call me... Ishmael...
Queequeg: ......

There is also a recurring theme of being reborn, of happiness being found in another life that is kinder to them both. Ishmael dreams of a life where they can break out of their cocoons. She wants to bury her past and had no dreams of the future before joining the Pequod, before meeting Queequeg and finding someone she wants a future with. Through Queequeg, through the woman who thinks her hair is the brilliant color of sunset and asked for her name, Ishmael is capable of imagining a destiny of her own choosing just like she had wanted when she met Ahab. (She isn't able to chase after it, not yet, because of Ahab's influence over the Pequod, but she for the first time can at least dream of a future where she is happy)

Dialogue between Queequeg and Ishmael

Ishmael:  We're all... still in our cocoons. Soon, we'll break out of our shells and be born again… okay? 
Queequeg: Born again...
Ishmael: Yeah. Once this voyage is over... ... let's go find it together. A way to break out of our cocoons...
Internal dialogue from Ishmael: People who wanted to bury their pasts. People living from one day to the next without dreams, without futures. People like me. Between every close call, between every moment of triumph, amidst the brutal trials we endured in solidarity, we began to sketch the rough pictures of our futures.

Below is a piece of art showing a young Ishmael in her Pequod outfit smiling wistfully

When tragedy strikes, she is left as, in her mind, the sole survivor of the crew, she has lost Queequeg, lost Ahab, lost her chance at finding happiness and purpose. It's then that she takes Queequeg's rope (the thing that kept her alive! Queequeg throughout their time knowing each other is always there to save her and help her keep on living) and makes it into a headband, attaches cute bows to it, a bit of femininity that is intrinsically attached to the woman who helped save her. She grows out her hair, her beautiful sunset colored hair, and it is so heart warming. For a long time I assumed that her not cutting her hair was done out of mourning, out of an unwillingness to move on from the life she had on that ship, but instead it was because Queequeg had loved her and she had loved her friend in kind.

A piece of art of Ishmael before she was recruited to Limbus. Notably, her hair has grown out and she wears a headband made of rope, with two ribbons attached.

In conclusion I love Ishmael very much and I like to rotate her around. Everything from her metaphors of being stuck in a cocoon and wanting to break free, her envy of Ahab's ability to find purpose so easily, her relationship with Queequeg that helped inspire her to dream for more to dream of a future where she is happy,, it is all very good and to me reading her as trans strengthens the themes of her story. I've watched the final part of the Canto V dungeon several times over when my friends arrive at that part of the story, and the Call Me Ishmael line always makes me start tearing up.

Ishmael starts as an unhappy office worker with no future and it is a life she cannot continue living, she meets an older woman who has the drive and passion to chase after her goals and wants to be like her when she is older, she has a life defining moment where another woman asks for her name and wants to be good friends with her, that woman will save her in so many ways and she will love that woman so deeply for how she helped influence her life, she sees herself trapped in a cocoon and wants to break free, she dreams of her and that woman will persevere, how they will live out the rest of their days, countless mirror worlds of happiness spent at each other's side. She starts the game proper with her hair grown long, ribbons attached to a rope that helped save her that represents the woman who had saved her before. She ends her chapter finding a new adventure to go on, one will she get to explore the world she lives in, she has found a compass in Dante who will help her chart her path forward.

Call Her Ishmael (or: A Trans Reading Of One Of My Favorite Limbus Characters)

Also I know we all make jokes about how inconsistent the art is when it comes to her chest but like... Come on look at the difference here.... I'm correct about this. But I mostly wanted to make this post to point out that her narrative arc is also trans and it goes so much deeper than just art inconsistencies.

Okay that's all I can think of now, thank you for reading, I hope you all also love her <3

1 year ago
Librarians Redesigned!!! By Me!!! :)

librarians redesigned!!! by me!!! :)

the designs are free to use, i used this as a character design exercise for myself while recovering from carpal tunnel issues! read more for all the individual designs + me ranting :*

Librarians Redesigned!!! By Me!!! :)

first off roland!! i included an angelica in here, i designed her before him, shes very triangular to me.. maybe a bit more messed up than roland tells us about, he is a biased narrator afterall. anyways i wanted his design to match hers nicely, so hes like a rounded square type of guy... i think projmoon designed him to be Just A Guy intentionally, so i played into it. overall the least interesting design of the bunch imo. its on purpose :)

Librarians Redesigned!!! By Me!!! :)

angela !!! my baby :) an important thing here is her bangs. i dont want her hair to be able to recover from however many years she spent with the hard middle part in lobcorp, i think its cute to incorporate it still. swoopy, fluffy hair for her! and the clothes are just a bit more casual idk the librarian uniforms were kinda boring and stiff to me, as much as it does go with her character.. if u wanna be human u gotta experience the joy of sweatpants or whatever. also i didnt add color but i dont want her to be fully white<3 or fully clear skinned.. give her sunspots on her face. she finally gets to experience sun. :)

Librarians Redesigned!!! By Me!!! :)

guess ill go in order of appearance lol. malkuth! whats the headband for if it doesnt keep anything out of her face!! since shes a bit more active than some of her colleagues, i also gave her a ponytail(its also for the silhouette...) also gave her some chubbier thighs.. also maybe a butler-esque coat, at least to me; i just made it a bit more form fitting than the original. playing into her personality or whatever. shes cute.. remember to take deep breaths!!

Librarians Redesigned!!! By Me!!! :)

yesod!! i want to play into the skin issues a bit more, i still removed his gloves but i gave him a poncho, not just for the square silhouette im trying to build but for more coverage. also emo hair over eyes was funny. also wide flare pants for you, boy. just very square and put together in general

Librarians Redesigned!!! By Me!!! :)

hod! this ones my favorite (i even cared enough to give her a pattern on that skirt!!) it was kinda bugging me how in the artbook i couldnt tell who was writing because hod's, malkuth's, and tiphereth's colors are so similar. so hod is pink now, and malkuth a bit more orange. i kinda went for a romantic poet thing here, dunno how much that worked out, but i think out of everyone you can tell shes the literature girl. gave her pigtails !! theyre cute :> also since i removed the coat decoration off of angela, i gave part of it to hod in the bottom of her coat :). cute and round!

Librarians Redesigned!!! By Me!!! :)

netzach is a very strange man to me.. ellipse shape and loose fitting clothes for u. if i saw him irl i wouldnt approach him. not to say i dont like him as a character, i love him, but i want him to look like a depressed guy who would pick up art as a hobby to distract himself and it works. bro is just surviving out there. also gave him comfy clothes to make the surviving easier, down to the shoes and wide, id assume non-denim pants - maybe cotton? maybe sweatpants that dont fit around the ankle? who knows.

Librarians Redesigned!!! By Me!!! :)

tiphereth!! since she's like the teen girl of the group i gave her a skater dress, converse, and a tied coat around her waist.. like how i used to wear as a teen when i was being a hater and recovering from a death in the family that changed my entire life (im still a teen ... 9 more days till im 20 as of posting this). also gave her fishnets i think she would like that. i imagine she would get headaches bc of those dumb braids on her head<3 or maybe bc her coworkers are kinda dumb<3

Librarians Redesigned!!! By Me!!! :)

gebura :) round face, reverse triangle shaped body.. like a true butch lesbian stereotype.. i decided a leather jacket, docs and pants i see metalheads wear would fit her! red leather jacket, of course. also gave her spiky hair just like projmoon did<3 my favorite detail here are the eyebrows, i think their shape is rlly neat! nvm i think its just that gebura is rlly neat. anyways the eyebrows fit her

Librarians Redesigned!!! By Me!!! :)

chesed my boy.. idk i just saw him and hit him with the transmasc beam and gave him , as the kids say, wh0re eyes. i wanted him to have rounder hips and just be round in general. turtleneck and cardigan combo also, i think he would like wearing that. also somewhat curlier hair, or at least wavy would do him well! and a tote bag, i dont doubt that he would go out to read in coffee shops if he could - so he gets a tote bag to carry his sociology books. i want him to look like he would give the warmest, comfiest hugs and be friend shaped

Librarians Redesigned!!! By Me!!! :)

binah!! this one was the most challenging, trying to find the right place for the colors - to not use too little or too much yellow. i still dont think i got it right but this is as close as im getting. long face, long nose, siren-ish eyes.. messed up in the head bird lady that speaks like hannibal! i also dont think a dress really suits her so i opted for wide pants and a fancy black button up .. maybe angela styled her, who knows. also black fingertips which is a trait i like to give the arbiters (including an oc).. just my own little consistency thing i like to do :)

Librarians Redesigned!!! By Me!!! :)

hi grandpa! ok for hokma i dont think the changes are that big? i gave him O shaped legs and his sword thing i turned into a walking cane, gave him a vest (didnt want to opt for a corset but i think he would enjoy the back support for proper posture) . also gave him a mild gradient from darker gray to lighter gray, since he IS the gray part of the ABC trio. gave him salt and pepper hair and an older face. forgot to draw it, but i wanted to give him a silicone tip for the sword so it doesnt dull out, which he can take off when recieving guests

Librarians Redesigned!!! By Me!!! :)

honorary mention to go along with the angelica i mentioned with roland, i mildly changed up her twin(k) brother. i gave argalia and angie the same hair but mirrored, his a bit more curly and hers a bit more spikey, his face a bit more edgy, hers a bit rounder and kinder. not much else to say here, i liked his design as is, but wanted to add him here :)


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1 year ago
What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up
What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up

what do you want to be when you grow up