I Really Want You.

I really want you.

I won't say i need you, because I'm doing alright. im getting through.

But I can't say i haven't gone a day without wishing for you.

Silently praying that when i check who that new message was from it's somehow you.

Seeing your face when I close my eyes for the night. Or really at all.

Please come back to me, love.

It just doesn't work.

The best I can do is tell myself "stop it, the bare minimum is you won't see her again until she's independent. There's no hope. Stop."

But I can't. I just can't.

I can't give up on you. you mean too much.

I can't get you out of my mind no matter how much it hurts me.

i miss you, moonbeam. i need you. please come back to me.

I'm trying. I am.

I'm trying to get over you. Endless pining while we're forced apart can only hurt us both.

It's just hard.

okay, fuck the melancholy, i just want to know WHY

why did She have to die

why did SHE have to be ripped from my arms

why did i fall for Her at the same time as my coping

why did i just give them more ammo by coming out

why is it like this. any of this.

fuck.

The play was great.

That older couple infront of me cuddling up to eachother made me think of you. A lot.

I'll send you an extra kiss tonight.

ha. call it 5

running on 3 months.

Fuck this.

Laying down to sleep, it's almost as if I feel myself hollow out.

Maybe not hollow out, moreso like... make room for you.

Replace all those pesky thoughts of spanish tests and subscription bills with your smile, the stable warmth you make in me.

Who needs a heated blanket, I've got a beam of moonlight all of my own to keep warm.