Alternate Version:

alternate version:

never gonna shut up about it i fear

I wish I didn’t care this much. When I thought about potential bad news I knew I would be disappointed but I feel a bit like I’m being crushed and no-one understands why, and I think this is in many ways a reminder of the way so many people don’t view the things we are so vibrantly and beautifully passionate about as things worth being passionate about. But our passion is wonderful, it is bright and strong and it produces art and emotion and community and we deserve that. I adore these books so goddamn much but I think on some level when a book has an adaptation and the name becomes recognisable, the people who don’t understand our pain can at least acknowledge what it is and that’s unfairly vindicating, like I’m allowed to enjoy it because it’s recognisable so I’m not weird for doing so. That shouldn’t be the case and it’s not fair that it is, but it doesn’t change the fact that people are more reactive to me saying “there’s a TV show of it on Netflix!” than they are to me saying “it’s a powerful book series that changed my life”. I feel like I’ve had something taken away from me. And I feel like the knowledge that the show got cancelled will breed an idea of the books not being worth the time because the show wasn’t, and that’s just so so so not true. I’m reminding myself that these beautiful, life-changing books have always been the heart of this fandom and losing the show does not mean less love for the books, they mean the world to me. But that doesn’t stop this from hurting.

Anyway I needed to get that out, I don’t know, maybe I’ll delete this later. But there’s really something magic here, and I will love it forever. To have had an adaptation is a wonderful privilege and I’m so glad we got to see it, I just wish we’d been able to see a little more.

Jesper: Wylan asked me what I’m into and I didn’t know how to respond

Jesper: Like, do I say Star Wars or being choked?

Inej: Jesper what the fuck

Wylan: I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. Someone asked me what the Spanish word for "tortilla" was once, and now I dream of kissing them under the moonlight.  Jesper: What kind of animal is the Pink Panther?  Wylan, already taking off their clothes: God, Jesper, you’re so fucking stupid.