Still Hilarious As The First Time I Read It

Still hilarious as the first time I read it

Shinsengumi (Hakuouki) - The Men of Yoshiwara parody

What would they say if you choose them?

(Usually, everyone sits together in the salon, sometimes not all of them; Kondo is the owner, Sanan is the manager)

Hijikata

Hijikata: I don’t think you’re ready for me kid, (Okita in the background: Nobody’s ever ready for you Hijikata-san), but since you’re determined, (Okita whispers loudly: run kid, it’s your last chance) I acknowledge your resolve.

(A vein on Hijikata’s temple is pulsating, but he tries to ignore Okita’s taunting) Come, I give you the invitation for love and sweetest surrender-

Okita: Hijikata-san doesn’t be so corny, with your shitty love-Haiku; the kid won’t understand any of it.

Hijikata: (snaps) SHUT THE HELL UP, IDIOT. THIS IS MY CLIENT SO STAY-

Okita: (to others) Yeah, he scored the first client in months, the girl is weird and I tell you-

Hijikata: (bailing his fists) STOP INTERRUPTING ME YOU SON OF A BITCH! I’LL STRANGLE-

Okita: What are you doing, Hijikata-san? Your face is scaring her, maybe you should leave strangling for the bedroom.

Hijikata: THAT’S IT! YOU’RE FUCKING DEAD. (Leaves his first client in months, to chase Okita)

Okita

Okita: Would you like to play with me? Let me give you a hint: it’s not hide and seek, it’s the game for a-d-u-l-t-s. Are you up for it? (Gives you a playful wink)

Heisuke: But Souji, you say that every time and you end up leaving customers blindfolded or tied up and you just sneak out of the room to eat-

Okita: (grabbing a dagger from his sleeve), Heisuke-chan, want me to play a game with you too? (Smiles maliciously)

Heisuke: (gulps) F-Forget that I said anything, excuse me. (Dashes out of the room)

Okita: Now forget about him, he’s just an apprentice, let us continue.

Keep reading

Just the way I like them too

I think we ought to live happily ever after,“ and she thought he meant it. Sophie knew that living happily ever after with Howl would be a good deal more hair-raising than any storybook made it sound, though she was determined to try. “It should be hair-raising,” added Howl. “And you’ll exploit me,” Sophie said. “And then you’ll cut up all my suits to teach me.

Diana Wynne Jones, Howl’s Moving Castle (via valhala90)

Jihyun I love you but you’re an idiot