Run From Me Masterlist | K.TH

Run From Me Masterlist | K.TH

You ran away from him. Again. What did this make, now? How many times had he let you slip through his fingers? As much as he loved to tease, the game of cat and mouse had long since lost its humor. This new game, this punishment…Taehyung hated it.

p. vampire!taehyung x vampire hunter!reader

g. soulmates - enemies to lovers - reincarnation

r. 18+

w. mentions of blood - murder - mentions of torture - verbal threats - blood play - blood drinking (vampires duh!) - physical violence - eventual smut - warnings will be updated as the story goes on...

cwc. 2k

an. dni and support banner made by @benkeibear, banner by @outromoni and fic betaed by @theharrowing

✘ one ✘ two ✘ three ✘ four ✘ five

retired banners

hyperfixations are so scary like yeah this could be a month long thing or i might be thinking of it everyday seven months from now. no way to tell

sweetest lies | c.s (01)

prologue // next // series m.list

pairing: choi san x f!reader

word count: 3.6k

warning: nothing i can think of

you can't help but to be annoyed as you shove through the crowd, the blasting music and odors of party people something you were once familiar with, but now only serving as a reminder of the person you used to be.

you weren't gonna come, initially--stuck at your job until the evening and your boss incredibly hard to convince, having made sure to tell yunho beforehand there was a chance you weren't gonna make it.

but afterall, it is yunho, and you were most likely gonna do anything, promising your boss you'll work overtime tomorrow if you have to, if he just let you off this once.

it was the fastest you ever got ready, your hair barely done, makeups too light for your liking, and dress thrown on sloppily, but you still look good.

you know you still do by the amount of eyes and heads hurled your direction while you attempt to free from the overwhelming crowd, relieved to finally find a space where you can breathe even for a second.

you turn and sneak glances past many strangers' heads, hoping to catch at least someone you recognize and knows about yunho's whereabouts, considering the text you sent him fifteen minutes ago went completely unanswered.

something you always hated about parties, whether when you were still into them or not, was that you didn't know more than half of the people that showed up, and this one is no exception--despite being held by yunho at one of the smaller estates owned by his family, everyone either looks like rich kids living a double life or three years younger than you.

yunho usually isn't one for parties either, but he needed something different; something new from dinners and sweet smiles with his parents and people twice his age.

"fancy seeing you here," a voice from behind makes you snap around, finding hongjoong with a cup in his hand and something amusing in his eyes.

"thought you got too good for this kind of setting."

the roll of your eyes is apparent, and you don't bother to hide it.

"i'm not here to get high or whatever, i'm here for yunho."

"of course you are," he snides, the tone and attitude all the evidence that you're just wasting time talking to him, and that even after all these years, hongjoong still holds a little grudge for you.

you cross your arms, leaning to one side to show the impatience.

"so it will be nice if you just tell me where he is," you add.

hongjoong shrugs, taking a sip of his drink nonchalantly, speaking in a dull tone, "haven't seen or heard of him since i got here."

"why the hell do i even bother," you mutter under your breath, about to bring the search somewhere else when he speaks up again.

"why don't you ask the one person that would actually know where he is? or are you too good for that, too?"

you squint, confused, until he nods his head another direction and you follow, landing right into the view of the kitchen and to someone you know all too well just from the back.

his hands on some poor girl's waist and lips running along with hers as her grip tighten at his disheveled hair, his body pressing her forward onto the counter, the both of them making out like there won't be a tomorrow.

"no thanks," you dismiss, managing to reframe from an eyeroll, pushing past hongjoong but not before you catch the smirk on him.

you're only here for one thing, and the fact the place's already starting to become suffocating due to hongjoong's jabs alone, a run-in with san will just be one more reason to leave.

you persist through the smell of cigarettes lingering the hallways, couples making out, and people who's entirely not in their right minds, for the next ten minutes--by the time you realize yunho's still yet to reply, you're already upstairs and so sure he won't be in any of these bedrooms as well.

you love yunho, you really do. your heart full of respect and admiration for him, but something that always bothered you is his bouts of silence.

periodic times where he'd just disappear and wouldn't tell you the reasons why, except some quick assurances about the pointless need to worry about it.

you're sure sooner or later, he will make an appearance and you'll both go through the routine all over again, but it's getting a tad ridiculous having to look for him at his own party.

where exactly would a sophisticated and proper man like yunho who doesn't engage in any of the crazy party shenanigans be at?

not downstairs where mostly everyone is, neither is he in the hallways or any of the rooms upstairs, which leads you to the last option of having to look outside in the late november weather that pierces your skin, making you flinch from the cold breeze.

you're more so agitated by the uncomfortableness, the fit you have on not suited for the season at all because you thought you'd be spending most of the time in the house.

so busy being annoyed and bothered, you don't even comprehend it's the backyard you've found way to with a swingset at the corner, your attention finally pulled from the shivering at the sweet sounding feminine laughter.

nothing could've prepared you for what you're about to see.

your face drops immediately at the sight of yunho, who's able to habitually bring a smile out, but your expression stays cold, watching as the man you dedicated almost your entire life to loving, tuck a strand of hair behind someone else's ear, the giggle from her almost too familiar, you don't even want to believe it.

"yunho?" you let out, his name slipping before you can even register, your voice full of hurt and disbelief.

he shoots to the direction of the call, the lovesick expression turning into all kinds of panic and horror, realizing you've been standing there and probably saw everything.

everything he's been hiding, and things that if you had just given him a bit more time, he would've told you... eventually.

"what the fuck?" you continue, unable to read your own tone if it is said out of pain or anger, but you just know that whatever you're feeling right now is a mixture of both.

and just when you think it can't get any worse, your suspicion of the voice and frame turns out to be right as your sister turns head your direction, and if that's guilt in her eyes, you don't believe it.

she knows about your feelings for yunho, and if there's anything she shouldn't touch or mess with (amongst other things she already did), is getting inbetween you and him. yet, she still did.

still chose to get close to him and do whatever the fuck they just did right now.

it feels like every other instances where you lost to her, whether when your parents would flaunt her or when anyone else would ignore you in favor of her.

you wish to say the loss is new, but the only thing different about it is that it's yunho this time.

"y/n, i--"

"--can explain?" you finish for him, one eyebrow raised and anticipating of what kind of lies he'll come up with on the spot. "because it looks like you ignored me all this time because you were too busy with my own sister."

he opens his mouth to say something, but you already very clearly saw the scene for what it is, now backed against a wall with nothing left but the truth to say.

truth he doesn't get to tell because you're already turning your back on them with an unbelievable sigh, yunho knowing how you are and the tendency you have to avoid your problems. run from them and mask them under the pretense of something else.

you want him to come after you, apologize and show even the smallest of guilt that it was a mistake. choosing your sister was a mistake and something he would never do, especially because he knows how you feel about her.

but he doesn't. the only footsteps out in the night are yours heading back inside, and at the small call of his name by your sister, it breaks your heart how comfortable and perfect it sounds coming from her.

once again, you lost.

you can count on two fingers the crushes you've developed over your lifetime, the count stopping shortly when yunho came along--someone who's too perfect in every way, you wonder how someone else is gonna ever beat him, because it truly feels like you'll never get over him.

you were used to disappointment and regrets, but you've never experienced a heartbreak before. that soul crushing feeling almost like grief, going through all the stages of denial and anger, unfortunately still yet to come to acceptance.

that all this time, yunho is seeing your sister behind your back.

you can't even begin to think of how it happened, or the extents they went to in order to keep it from you.

that yunho of all people, the one person you thought could never hurt you, is the one causing you to go through the most painful betrayal right now.

because he knows you and knows that some of your biggest insecurities has to do with your sister.

after running off with yunho nowhere in the line of sight behind you, you wind up at a nearby bar, attempting to drown your sorrow the only way you knew how... by indulging in old addiction and habits.

though you've quit smoking, alcohol is still something you struggle trying to keep away from, a drink way too easier to give into, lying to yourself that it'd be just a few sips until suddenly, you're hazed in the mind and can barely recall where you're at.

but this time, you don't care how much you're drinking as long as it's numbing the ache in your heart.

the bartender's refusing to give any more given your state--head buried inside your arms as you groan into the bar counter with a few passersby lasering you weird looks from behind.

it's probably not very smart, out alone and mind not in the greatest state in such an environment where you could most likely get taken advantage of, so you stay somewhat alerted for that.

just in case anyone tries anything innapropriate, because you know all the tricks by now.

so when you feel a presence slowly taking up the space next to you, the plop as they sit down on the bar stool, your fight or flight is activated, picking your head up expecting to tell another guy to fuck off, only for your jaw to drop slightly at who it is.

"san?" you question, eyes squinting at the same time because you can't think of any reasons why he of all people is here.

if he saw what happened back there, then he's only here to make fun of you for it. insult you and take jabs because it's what he's best at.

san can't possibly give a shit about you.

"yeah?" he answers as he just stares you down, almost like he takes pity on your situation.

"why the fuck are you here? don't tell me you followed me."

"i followed you because i knew you'd do something stupid like this," he says, taking a $100 dollar bill out of his pocket and shoving it toward the bartender because you most likely haven't paid. "now get up."

his command is met by a series of protests, your other hand quickly trying to release the hold he has on your arm attempting to get your butt off the seat, but you're unfortunately not as stubborn and snappy under the influence, unable to hold your ground against a sober san.

your entire body falls forward immediately when on two feet, san catching you with his arms, pressing you against his chest as a smirk creeps onto the corner of his lips.

he knows where the lack of reaction is coming from, but he still can't help but to be smug, seeing you so powerless and weak when you were usually the opposite, opting for yelling about how you want nothing to do with him the normal.

he guides you by the small of your back, fingers on your bare skin that ignites something in him, and trying to exit the bar against your stubborn feet that won't move due to the sleepy state you've somewhat slipped into along the way.

"give me your car key," he says once at the parking lot, watching as you whine groggily while one of your hands dig at your purse in search for the key, passing it to him and almost dropping it in the process.

everything after that is a blur, more so than what already is, only recalling the bits of san settling you onto the passenger seat.

you wake up with a throbbing headache, able to tell right away it's from the drinks you had last night. but other than that, you can't remember anything.

how you got here and where you're at, the place completely unfamiliar, you don't think you've ever been here before.

"oh, good. you're awake."

but the recognizable voice snaps you to his figure sitting at a desk just right beside the bed and on his laptop. it's then that some recollection starts flooding back, all the overwhelming emotions trying to overtake each other.

hurt, betrayal, confusion, and anger.

yunho and your sister for the first half, and san for the other because you can slightly recall speaking to him at the bar before he did whatever he did.

"where the hell am i?" you ask, sitting up to glare at him and checking the room out once more. you suppose it's quite tidy and nice.

your outfit is the same but just slightly washed out and wrinkly, and if you had a mirror, you can already picture the smeared mascara running under your eyelashes.

"my condo," he replies casually, eyes refusing to move from the laptop.

a quick silence passes before a horrible thought comes over, blurting it out the instant it sinks on you.

"did we--"

but the sheer horror in your voice has san turning so fast just to cut you off with a "no", following by a deep, sarcastic chuckle.

"seriously, y/n. what kind of monster do you think i am?"

well, excuse you for assuming because he's given you every reasons to. every single encounter and run-ins, he never missed the chance to throw stupid innuendos about getting in bed with you.

"whatever," you dismiss, yanking the blanket off and scooting to the edge of the bed, making san raise an eyebrow in return.

"where are you going?"

"leaving," you hiss, at the same time pushing your feet into the heels that are found sprawled all over the floor and stealing a quick glance at the alarm clock on the nightstand that brings out a sigh.

"i'm already late for work and everything seems to be going to shit, so i don't need any of this right now."

san scoffs and you try to not let it bother you, finishing up the last bits of your heels before standing up, so close to leaving the room when he starts talking again.

"a thank you would be nice, you know."

he says it so casually but you know that he's hidden a smirk and satisfaction under all the pretense because he loves it when he has even the smallest of hold over you--whether when he's right or succeeded in convincing you to feel indebted.

"i didn't ask for you to take me home," you reply, arms crossed and turning around, something sharp and meaning to hurt in your delivery.

his attention is no longer on the screen of his laptop and has shifted to you completely, figure walking up to peer down with a look that might intimidate you if this isn't a scene that's already happened one too many times between the both of you.

"if i didn't, something could've happened to you. you were shitface drunk."

you smirk before blowing off the concern with a scoff.

"well maybe i prefer the alternative than to have come home with you."

during university days, all of yours and san's friends were so sure that all the squabbling and jabs at one another was just an outlet to release all the suppressed sexual tension.

though you will admit he's attractive--a fact you've seen him use to his advantage many times, there was simply nothing more to it other than the fact you couldn't stand him and still can't.

"ridiculous," he huffs under his breath, a rare instance of annoyance crossing his expression.

he enjoys bantering with you to some extent, often times intrigued by the outrageous things you'd say because it gets him off in some weird, messed up way.

but it's not fun anymore when you take it too seriously, and especially when he does something genuinely (which he doesn't often) and it still doesn't seem to faze you.

as if you've already built an image of him and refuses to change it no matter the depth he goes to--often times leading to a cycle, because he can get impatient and frustrated.

instead of snarking back, your voice actually drops to a much deliberate tone, the words not wanting to spill because it's still all too painful, but it does.

"if you followed me yesterday, then you most likely already knew what happened at the party and why i ended up at the bar. so if you will just let me leave in peace."

considering you promised your boss to make up for the time yesterday and still haven't even shown almost an hour into the shift, you'll be lucky if he lets you off with a warning.

but it doesn't look like san takes pity on your situation, something shifting in him as he stares at you with a gaze that makes you just slightly nervous.

he clears his throat.

"let me ask you something seriously," he says, taking a step forward that makes you swallow a lump. "did you actually believed that this entire time, yunho wasn't seeing anyone?" he ends it with a head tilt that conjures the lump back.

because you did. the entire time, you really fucking believed he wasn't seeing anyone.

"did you not ever questioned all the times he'd disappear or make excuses? and did you ever stop to think about the improbability that someone of his age never had any interactions with other women?"

the sinking realization is unlike anything you've ever experienced before, and if you thought seeing yunho with your sister back then was awful, this pain can almost kill you.

all this time, you were nothing but foolish and delusional.

san can see both the stages of denial and anger in your face, some tears threatening to get out but you manage to hold them back in. you don't like crying because the last thing you want to be seen as is weak. san knows that.

"if he was fucking other people, then why couldn't he just tell me himself?"

"because he didn't want to hurt you," he unveils, much to your stunned reaction. "he knew you'd lash out and act exactly the way you did when you saw them back at the party."

you can only blink in confusion, like all the information are new and unbelievable. the fact yunho really thought so low of you, one you're not sure how to feel.

but a fact more surprising and intriguing than that, is that the entire time... san knew.

"so you knew about him and my sister and whoever fuck else, but still chose to keep it from me? lie to my face and play along with your brother?"

“you followed me?”

“of course. i heard the conversation at the table. you know, if you’re going to get married off to my brother soon, we might as well get it over with; go into one of these rooms. we might not get the chance ever again. i’ll make it quick, and this will just be between you and me.”

san retracts from the sudden accusation that now all of a sudden, he's become the main culprit. he can't help but to feel some sort of way about it, opting for speaking his mind although it often ends up in destruction.

"it's not like we were ever on good terms and you would've listened to me. but i also don't owe you anything because you never see me in a good light anyways."

he always find himself being hot and cold with you. one second filled with regrets for the terrible things he'd say, then the next, he's spewing some more, and you just so happen to be the only other person just as horrible to say even worse things in return.

"but if i knew your girlfriend was fucking someone else behind your back, i sure would've told you," you spit, eyebrows pinched in the whole time.

"it's not my fault you couldn't get the hint that if yunho actually wanted to ask you out, he would've a long time ago."

san regrets it as soon as he finishes the sentence, but it consumes him completely when the anger on you is no longer but trails of hurt and sadness.

"i--"

"--fuck. you," you cut him off, not sparing another second before you're already out the door.

and if san thinks he saw what looks like a tear, he convinces himself it isn't, because you won't cry in front of him, and you definitely won't cry because of a comment he made.

but he did try to make things right the best he knew how; even then, it's never good enough in your eye.

next // series m.list

taglist: @freeandrealme @shingene @cookiechristie @softie00 @crimson-mia @hexheathen @lixpixstix @atinytease @turtash @moonseonghwa @kkayfan @curryramyeon @justineasian @mikaymee @chickendrum @yujispinkhair @sannie-pudding @itsokaytobedumb00 @nerdy-kimchi @fannyxmh @acciocriativity @mel-the-mad-hatter @eastleighsblog @diorwoo @devilsmatches @kyume02 @distvrbia @wonwowzers @endeav0rsb1tch @sannwa @brown88 @sangiluvem @eburneon @hotteokhatyu @yeosangsbiceps @sankatchu @lynnsqueendom @harusoraa @ad0rechuu @interweab @revehosh @byunniebaekhyunnie @nabi-sannie @gugggu6gvai @rockstarsanie @shakalakaboomboo @yeosangsbbg

and let the history books name joe biden, rishi sunak, justin trudeau, emmanuel macron, ursula von der leyen and every other world leader who did not step in to prevent the genocide of palestine as cold-blooded murderers. may they face a shred of the immeasurable pain and suffering they allowed to be committed against 2.2. million innocent lives.

"From her place at the delivery stool her eyes roamed across the unblemished midnight sky. There were innumerable stars prancing around the black vastness accompanying the moon as they danced a soft tango together. Nights were serene; peaceful and she always found herself enthralled in it. The twinkling seams of the stars were dazzling yet there was no way she could look away." I absolutely felt fondness how readers great great grandmother role was for being the first one in their family in being a healer; at that a woman. I really enjoyed this back story, woman are amazing 💙 what I noticed was both of them always had this love for the night sky and watching the stars, I found that so endearing 🥺🥺 it felt like a connection between the two.

An eternity. Seems like ages away but our perception of forever is but mere speck in our reality because to the people out there—living, laughing, loving, life is dazed and comes and goes in the blink of an eye but within the barriers, behind the unchanged days and the repetitious routine your eternity has exceeded the five years you’d been in here and it seemed roads away from where you stood in that moment." This description was everything, I had various feelings as I read this, this was quite a beautiful statement.

"The words bounced in your head, their kinetic force dented the delicate walls of your brain. You just played their predicament over and over in a continuous loop. You were alive, breathing but you were as good as dead." Each word felt punctuated as I kept reading, the feelings emitted through, such a great writer for writing expressively throughout I'm in awe.

"Was there such a place on earth where the heavens met its end? A place where you could climb up the stars as you would a ladder and swim amongst them forever." Gorgeous, its like reading my own internal thoughts through this that's conveyed in an elegant manner.

“I have never had the liberty to leave but I believe I’ll be but a faint memory.” 🥺🥺🥺

“Well they certainly bring life to the place.” the dried flowers 💐 that was sweet of Tae to like

Tae smiled so tenderly it felt as if you were floating on water—as if you were being swayed aimlessly on a body of water. Allowing the curvatures of his mouth to direct you as they pleased. It felt so refreshing having someone smile at you that way. You couldn’t quite get enough of it." There's something about the way this is expressed, its like a hidden expression that made me feel so warm. I genuinely felt the smile bringing warmth inside my body. Wow. I loved the description and Tae so much 💙

"Promise. The density of the word was far too great and while you wanted to believe Tae’s dulcet words, you knew that even if unintentionally he would forget about your existence the moment he left." This just... hit me, a mixture of hope with fantasy, a split between both.

“Perhaps I was in search of my princess.” AGAHSJSJA crying i absolutely loved his energy and wit that they both expressed throughout their meeting 🥺 this yae got me feeling so giddy and ugh I loved his character here!!

“So narcissistic,” you heard him gasp, “perhaps you are a descendent of royals after all.” hahha if only she knew

“every night as we lay under the same sky, let’s both count the stars until we finally get to reunite once more.” ugh this was so so cute and romantic.

“but that doesn’t mean you are forced to reciprocate something you cannot remember.” it felt so lovely to see how regardless of the time spent before, they both have this understanding and boundaries between the two .

“I cannot remember it,” he spoke barely above a whisper, “but I can feel the way my heart races when you come in my proximity. I felt it during our meeting. I feel it even now.”

"There were successions of shooting stars ornamenting the heavens and finally you reached the breath-taking place where the earth and the sky meet." What a alluring way to write something so profound yet stimulating. Wow. Loved this all seriously.

“We have a whole eternity for that darling.” 🥺🥺🥺

a years interlude | kth

kth x reader (f)

genre: 19th century; one-shot

rating: mature audiences only (18+)

summary: a story of pain, healing, love, and the yearning of the heart.

warnings: slight mention of blood; non-descriptive (brief) mention of dead fetus (lost baby at birth); memory loss; slight fluff; penetrative sex; cunnilingus; clitorial stimulation; nipple play; hand job; taehyung looking like a 19th century prince in his photofolio; if non-19th century things are mentioned i am so sorry, i tried to do as much research as possible but so many personal things went down while I was writing this that research was slim.

word count: 10,9 thousand words

posted: friday january 6, 2023

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The Levate was your home. It had been assigned as your unruly fate far before you were even a fetus in your mother’s womb.

It was your destiny.

The tale commenced about two-hundred years prior, with your great grandmother. She was a mere lass—young, beautiful and most importantly educated girl. It was a rarity for its time. Initially, the men in her family, your family, were destined healers but your great grandmother’s father's bloodline was referred to as fragile and it was ‘cursed’ with just daughters.

One after another after another.

A couple of years passed before the men of the village realized that their people would only benefit in allowing the women of your family to become a part of the legacy and aid those in need. . Especially, the wives of the select few who were in need of assistance during childbirth, word had it women were growing uncomfortable in being presented with male assistance while they carried their babies for nearly nine months and then having inexperienced servants assisting during deliveries— numerous women left to neighboring villages which implemented the requirement of having qualified female only aids during their pregnancies and in their labor confinements.

After a rather hefty consensus the people of the town spoke and your family was granted their titles as former healers and reputable midwives.

Upon shadowing her nearly retired father and the accoucheuse from neighboring villages, your great grandmother learned the complexity of your modern medicament rapidly. She was very astute, stretching as far as the barriers of your society allowed her to reach. Truth was despite everything she was still a woman and was only allowed a speck of liberty—and one single mistake sent her down a bridle pathway of damnation for an eternity and her grave would be dug up by the Kim family.

The Kim’s were the most powerful family in the village, simulating the most vicious predators at the peak of the food chain. They were pythons while the rest of you were rodents. Their formidable force stemmed from their affluence leading them to soar like eagles in the expansive sky, high beyond the passing clouds—they were as close to royals as Hawkshead could attain.

Your great grandmother had been called on by Viscountess Kim to service in the delivery of what would be their fifth child. They were hoping for a male to supply as an eventual successor after being consecutively burdened by a string of daughters. The task was seemingly simple as she already had a hefty resume in delivering babies day in and day out but this particular delivery was. . arduous. The pressure was immense, she knew there was little room for error, and despite the dozen pound weight dragging from her shoulder, she graced her mind with confidence; the assurance of her skills and began her duty as a midwife.

Things began as usual, the dimly lit birth chamber was crowded by servants as they serviced Viscountess Kim any and all of her absurd requests ranging from kneading her feet beyond comfort to fetching her intricate suppers that could only be found a whole town away. The room was aromatized with the soft scents of chamomile, her remedy for easing the nerves. That was all she could provide but of course, medicine then, wasn’t what it is now.

Her duty was to sit and wait. And then sit and wait some more—until baby Kim has decided it was finally time to meet the world.

From her place at the delivery stool her eyes roamed across the unblemished midnight sky. There were innumerable stars prancing around the black vastness accompanying the moon as they danced a soft tango together. Nights were serene; peaceful and she always found herself enthralled in it. The twinkling seams of the stars were dazzling yet there was no way she could look away. Initially, there was a brief silence amongst the emergent storm sweeping across the dormitory, she recalled screaming; frantic screams. In the beginning they were muffled, so far away, for a brief second she had thought Lord Kim was chopping off someone's head down the corridor—except, it wasn’t.

Lady Kim was beginning to hyperventilate, she broke out in sweats, and the lady maids were flailing their arms in the air calling your attention, their attempt at getting her to snap out of her trance.

“We need help,” she’d heard from one of the many nameless figures accompanying the Viscountess.

“Just give me some space,” she abandoned her spot near the window now sitting at the foot of the bed, “fetch me more linens.”

She was heaving, trembling, gasping for air and her screams could likely be heard by the Levate. Her forehead glistened, “I need him out of me,” her breathing was heavy, “I need him out.”

There was a cold bead of sweat rolling down her back but she remained in her position waiting for baby Kim, (hopefully, a boy), to greet you with bright chocolate eyes and raucous cries. You instructed her to push, and she complied. Again, you communicated the same and she did as told. She pushed harder and harder, until the fetal head crowned.

She almost sighed with relief.

Almost.

But the room was eerily still.

Baby Kim, the baby boy, was now in her hands but he was not weeping—his eyes were closed, and his skin was a shade of periwinkle.

He was not breathing.

“How is my baby?” Lady Kim asked.

But she stood, completely still, the tiny body of what was supposed to be a healthy scion laid in her arms, unmoving.

“How is he?” She asked once again.

Your great grandmother’s skin glimmered in the dim candle light as the sweat trickled down her forehead. She quickly walked the boy to the baby bassinet and laid him down.

“Is he OK?” her pleas to know rumbled in the inner walls of your ears, and all you could do was rummage through your brain for an answer on what to do—this had never happened before. She’d always delivered healthy babies, always.

How could this happen? She had not pulled too hard, the mother seemed in good health. . What evil lurked in the shadows to drag this baby away from its mother before she even has the chance to hold him in her arms?

Lady Kim sat up on her elbows—her eyes were mimicking the sparkle of shining glass, she was shaking with anxiousness; fear.

“The baby-”she stammered, “h-he’s”

Words failed her. Her tongue felt heavy in her mouth and no matter how she tried to structure the news, sentences did not come easy to her.

“He’s what?” the Viscountess yelled, her voice vibrating through the walls like a high pitched sound wave, “how is my baby boy?”

“Baby Kim has passed on, Lady Kim. My sincerest apologies,” She bowed as her voice cracked delivering the unfortunate news.

The viscountess’ wails were inconsolable, they were haunting and your great grandmother couldn’t help but hang her head in shame. Everything her father taught her was flushed down the drain, her career as a healer was compromised and her life was not guaranteed at the sake of her failure.

All her certainties hung by a single thread and her freedom disintegrated when a lock and chain adorned her wrists and soon as Viscount Kim heard of the unfortunate events surrounding the birth and death of his only son. He—they blamed her for the entire thing, despite her best interest always being the delivery of a healthy boy. They did not listen to her, instead they ostracized her and held a trial to supply her culpability. Her charges included, ‘conspiring against the noble Kim.’

You closed her journal up and slouched on your rickety rocking chair, swinging back and forth lightly.

That was all written by her.

She wrote it as an autobiography for the following generations to understand—it was a reminder of the story you didn’t need to read because you knew it by heart; you lived it; you simulated her pain.

After the verdict was delivered by the counsel, composed of those hand selected by the Kim family, for the proceedings of an unjust trial. They were ready to send your great grandmother to be executed. Hastily, they came to the realization that our family were the only healers in Hawkshead and the nearest family of honorable medicinal knowledge settled days away from our village, so instead of ending her life. . They decided to sentence her and the women to follow to be banished, and sent her on exile to the Levate.

So they walked her to the outskirts nearing the barrier of the viridescent enchanted forrest—she was to reside there and if her knowledge was ever requested they would seek out for her, but that was not her only duty, she was to assist all men injured in the Levate and guide them out the barrier in the direction of the village.

It was the punishment of imprisonment without the shackles, but at least in a cell you had cell mates, guards, people around you—there was nothing but emerald pasture and brobdingnagian trees for miles into the dense forest.

Her husband and son stayed behind in Hawkshead and they continued the legacy of male healers while the women in our family were condemned by her mistake. We were sent to fend for ourselves in the estranged surroundings of the Levate as soon as it was decided by the Kim counsel. A lot of them wed and snuck their husbands in and out of the forest but it wasn't in your intention to subject a man through the complications of the barrier but specially you did not plan to contribute a child into the damnation of this curse. Your predestined beginning and end was as it was, your inevitable demise. There was nothing you could do about it but your principles—your conscience wouldn’t allow you to drag someone else to be a subject of this morbid ordeal and while residing in the Levate was out of your reach; celibacy was the only aspect of your life you had control over.

It’s been a continuity of the same thing, day after day, the same sky up above, the same redundant emerald leaves on the same golden tree branches.

Everything was the same.

It was revolting and it sent you on a spiral of drumming headaches, the same four walls in this same cabin, and the same scenery outdoors.

Five years down, an eternity to go.

An eternity. Seems like ages away but our perception of forever is but mere speck in our reality because to the people out there—living, laughing, loving, life is dazed and comes and goes in the blink of an eye but within the barriers, behind the unchanged days and the repetitious routine your eternity has exceeded the five years you’d been in here and it seemed roads away from where you stood in that moment.

Though you were promised occasional outings of aid, not a single person back in the village has requested your healing abilities for months now and no one ever stumbles past the barriers unless absolutely necessary. You were completely alone, left to rot in abandonment—the Kim counsel knew that but you were certain the infliction of isolation was their specialty for torture.

Nightfall approached quicker than expected that day but you supposed it was the repercussions of being cocooned behind your probing thoughts for a clock’s worth. After dining and changing into your nightgown, you found yourself laying down on the creaky bedstead, you kept your window open becoming astounded by the luminosity of the night sky. The pale crescent moon shone like a bright pearl, and the blanket of winking stars stretched to infinity. Their soft glint mimicked the flickering candle light of your neighbors back at the village, and for a single moment. . you weren’t forgotten, they were just a door away keeping you company until you were finally able to drift off into a deep slumber.

“There’s word in town about the death of the Lord Kim,” There were two girls walking by the southeastern border of the Levate, close to where you currently kneeled picking berries.

Although you could not see their faces, the youth and naivety in their tone was indication enough that they were young, far too young to acknowledge the gravity of their claims.

Being in seclusion was a dead man’s curse because despite the exigency of claims floating around the forest’ border you could never truly confirm its legitimacy.

One of the girls hushed the other, and they began their soft whispers but you could still hear. They were to keep away from the barrier, you should’ve probably warned them but their gossip was far more interesting.

“How could you even know of this?” one of the girls questioned, you didn’t dare peek out from your place behind the bushes to see who they were. . just listened, “what business have you in the Kim estate?”

“For starters, they called on that knowledgeable nurse from Lockwick and the lady maids have been spreading word around town.”

“I suppose you’re right but how could we be certain? They all hide so discreetly behind those golden gates.”

“Process of elimination obviously,” —you’d admit this is the most intel you have eavesdropped on in the last one thousand eight hundred and twenty five days. They continued, “The Kim daughters are all married off, their son is off on a voyage and Lady Kim was seen in town just two days ago. Who is the only person we have failed to see for weeks?”

“I suppose you’re right,” she continued in a whispering voice, “that still is no proof of his passing. I think we should wait and keep this to ourselves if we don’t want to end up like that girl who was banished there.” They were probably pointing into the Levate and were certainly referring to you.

Is that all you were in the village? A fable? A tactic to scare kids into respecting their elders? Did anyone even know what happened?

You sat on the soil which likely stained your blush pink skirt—you couldn’t bring yourself to care however.

‘like that girl’

‘that girl’

The words bounced in your head, their kinetic force dented the delicate walls of your brain. You just played their predicament over and over in a continuous loop. You were alive, breathing but you were as good as dead.

Noone remembered you or your name or what you stood for. Noone knew who you were anymore. You felt like an ant on a planet of giants—so insignificant and useless.

Your only consultation lay beside Lord Kim, in his deathbed if he was even dead. Your hope is rooted, that with his passing, the abolishment of the previous ancient laws and regulations would be mandated. This could be the opportunity to get out of here for good, to leave Hawkshead and live for yourself. You had never wished for the cessation of anyone before but you sure hoped there was a stone with his name engraved on it somewhere, especially after the hand he’s dealt in the suffrage of the women in your family, especially after he held onto the grudge of his ancestors as if they were his own.

Your brain was still frazzled by the rumors of the young girls, still, you attempted to map out who the following Viscount would be to serve as a successor. You doubt any of their daughters would come back, they are all married into wealth far richer than the Kim’s could even dream of. There was their eldest son who was off on a voyage and no one had seen sight of him for the last 11 years. No one knew exactly who he was anymore or what he looked like for that matter.

If speculation was right and Lord Kim has passed—their mysterious son should be coming into town. Perhaps, you could try and arrange a meeting with him, and argue your case.

You could be free.

At last there was hope. The possibility of a future you actually had the chance of living.

You skipped the rest of the way to the cabin. Your feet felt lighter against the verdure path—a buoyant spark coursed through your blood stream, the current sent you floating in mid-air. Intoxicated off ecstasy at the mere grasp of the potential freedom you so desperately craved.

You stood near the barrier.

You were still in the Levate but there was a shift in the surroundings you were so accustomed to. Your initial thought was to run once and for all but your thoughts kept you grounded right where you stood.

Of course, you’ve thought about escaping but if the journals had taught you anything it was that running away would only lead to your demise.

All of your ancestors who disappeared. . turned up in a wooden box days after. You supposed freedom in the afterlife was much better than no freedom at all but you craved living and besides you couldn’t give the Kim’s the satisfaction of seeing you crumble.

You couldn’t.

You breathed slowly as the figure on the other side stood facing you. Its face was blurred and the usual lines outlining one's eyes, nose and lips were consumed by irrefutable darkness.

“Who are you?” You yelled out. . No response, “what are you doing so near the barrier?”

It held its hand out—palm stretched out reaching for you; calling out for you.

“I cannot leave unless called for medical assistance purposes,” you stepped closer to the barrier. . definitely digging into treacherous territories, “this is my home.” The words tasted so sour on your tongue, because although you were forced into the Levate it certainly wasn’t a home.

It remained in the same position, you knew you should’ve been petrified but his demeanor was inviting, it called out to you. His vocal vibrations perforated right through the barrier and enchanted the soles of your feet leading you to inch closer and closer to it.

“I can’t. .” you mouthed.

You looked back into the thicket there was nothing left for you here.

One step closer.

The bottomless feeling of loneliness vanished and was replaced with optimism. You shouldn’t wait to go far away.

“I shouldn’t. .” you mumbled.

“Come to me,” you heard, the voice was monotone, displaying no real sense of emotion, “we must make haste.”

“No. . no. .” Your objections convinced no one at all, not even yourself—but your eyes were closed and you shook your head vigorously, “No. .” you chanted over and over.

The voice which was once louder than yours, sounded farther and farther away, its words became muffled and disintegrating in your head. Suddenly, there was a shift and his pleas to have you disobey the rules set upon your life became cries for help.

“Help,” it repeated once over.

“Shut up.” You screamed, finally opening your eyes, there was nothing but darkness. . and you were laying in bed.

You were just dreaming.

You sighed, relieved to learn that you were not on the brink of insanity. . a little deprived of formal human interaction but you weren’t entirely a lost cause yet. Perhaps, the whole thing was rooted from the lone thread which remained intact, the same one which was to eventually lead you right out of the Levate, if the Kim son was as merciful as he was rumored to be in the village back when you were younger.

You sat up on your bed, a cold bead of sweat traveled along your temples and once again you found yourself in solace within the night sky. It was peaceful, as usual, but you couldn’t help but wonder how far the sky stretched. Was there such a place on earth where the heavens met its end? A place where you could climb up the stars as you would a ladder and swim amongst them forever.

There was a whimper, initially, it was faint and you thought it came from a traveler on the pathway near the barrier. But the whines became louder and louder and they were followed with soft cries for help. Unfamiliar, to the one in your dream this voice sputtered much more emotion, whoever it belonged to, surely they were hurt.

You slid on your slippers and made kitten strides towards the front door of the cabin.

“Is there anyone here?”

You grabbed onto the door handle, before stopping for just a second to take a deep breath. After grabbing the lit up lantern from the nearby countertop you made your way out of the house.

“Where are you?” you called out once stepping off the last wooden staircase.

Realistically speaking, you were aware you should’ve armed yourself with a kitchen knife for protection—but you were steered by adrenaline almost; shaken with the possibility of your first patient in five years. Guzzled, with the idea of the presence of another human being on the premises.

“I’m on the left side of your lovely home.”

“Lovely. .” You scoffed, more like hell.

When you finally reached him, he was crushing your rose bush as he remained sprawled out on the ground.

“Are you in need of some assistance, sir?” You asked in the utmost innocent voice.

“Uh,” He groaned, “Yes. . yes please.”

“How did you end up past the barrier?”

“I came. .” he scratched the back of his head, his voice you noticed was grave, much lower than you could remember any man sounding like back in Hawkshead. It was soothing, and felt just as it does when the sun hits your skin on a hot summer day, “I can’t actually remember..”

“The barriers have that effect on people, especially those who were not cursed to be in here.”

“Cursed?” he asked.

“Yes, I’ll explain soon. How about I help you up and we can chat inside. I’m getting a bit cold out here.” You stretched for him to grab, he did, and you quickly led him to the safety of your home. You sat him on one of the dining room chairs and pulled the second one for you right beside him.

“Welcome to the Levate,” you placed the lantern on the table. The swaying of the candle’s flame reflected on his perfect fucking face.

Actually, was there anything more passionate than the word perfect? because if there was, it would still not be enough to describe the beauty of the man you’d just housed.

“The Levate.” He repeated, his expresso eyes glimmered under the flickering flame, they sparkled like the hundreds of bright friends you had found in the dead of night every dawn.

“Yes,” after washing your hands and gathering a bottle of whiskey, cloth bandages, tweezers, and a cold compress for his head you took a seat beside him

“Is this forest part of the village up ahead?”

“You remember Hawkshead?”

“Is that the village?”

You hummed.

“Vaguely.”

You placed the cotton cloth with ice against the bump on this forehead, “Is it ok if we remove this sleeve of your shirt?” You pointed at the bloodstained sleeve with the scattered holes which were likely a result of the thorns dug into his arm from your roses. He nodded, “does it hurt?”

He shook his head, “not really.”

“Can you remember your name?” You asked, slowly removing the shirt as to avoid more injury.

“Tae,” he winced. “All I remember is being called Tae.”

“Ok, Tae. .” you began, “This is going to pinch just a bit but you let me know if you want me to stop.”

Tae nodded. His arm had seven thorns adorning his honey-toned skin. “Do you remember anything about your family?”

“Not really,” You pulled out the first thorn and he winced, just six more to go, “I remember I have a mother and like 5 sisters but their names are blank. Is this normal here. . In the Levate?”

“Yes,” you pulled out two more, “It is. To on goers the Levate is a pause in time. This is the forest of abandonment—while in here your mind is on pause and all your memories are tampered by the forces casted upon the ambience.”

“So when I leave—”

“I have never had the liberty to leave but I believe I’ll be but a faint memory.”

“Are you stuck here?” You pulled out the remaining with little to no reaction from him.

You nodded. A faint smile was pressed upon your lips.

“I suppose I am.” After grabbing the whiskey and pouring some into a cloth you began dabing his wounds to prevent infection. His gaze was on you like a spell and while you tried to remain focused you couldn’t help the stutter in your movements as you began wrapping his arm up.

“What does that mean?”

“My great great grandmother made a very wealthy family in the village angry and ever since then the healing female descendents have been casted to an eternity of damnation here in the Levate. This is our home for the rest of our lives.” You looked right into his gleaming orbs in an attempt to hide the melancholiness in yours, his were soft; soulful; and you could easily map out the entire galaxy in them.

“Have you ever tried to just up and leave?”

“Others have tried but it didn't quite work out.”

“These people really hold onto grudges don’t they,” he shook his head.

“I guess it’s human nature.”

“What’s yours?” You stood to discard the supplies you had used to assist him. The ill-lit cabin was the worst reminder of what your human nature was; the Levate was too; your lineage; you were.

“To be alone.”

“And you believe that?”

“Doesn’t really matter what I believe because it is as it is. There’s nothing to change now and the only person who can is on voyages nowhere to be found.” Saying it out loud was unsparing—every time those hopeless words met your tympanum it added to the deeply rooted sentiment of wanting out, of searching for a better tomorrow.

“Who can?”

“Their son.”

“And he’s gone?”

You shrugged, “not dead just away from Hawkshead.”

He slouched back on the chair, lips spread widely in a yawn, his toned chest was exposed under the two torn buttons on his white top—he looked exhausted.

“Well this is the only home in the Levate but you are more than welcome to stay over as long as you like.” You offered.

“Are you sure?”

“Of course, my tiny prison is your tiny prison.” You smiled.

“I love the decorative statements you’ve made here,” he unhurriedly scanned the cabin’s walls, taking it all in inch by inch, “especially this unique wall paper.”

“It’s sun dried flowers. . they were all dead.”

“Well they certainly bring life to the place.”

“Thanks.”

His smile was wide, so luminous it lit up the pathway back to the village even from here. “And where shall I divulge in my slumber? I require a lot of commodities, you know.”

“Of course, will a sleeping bag or a duvet do?”

“Duvet sounds lovely.”

“I’ll fetch that for you.”

Mornings were always your favorite time of the day. You awoke, read a few pages from your ancestors journals or medical books, prepared a pot of tea and fetched the daily nutritional offerings left for you by those in the village. It was a routine, one you have grown accustomed to, and embraced dearly because it reminded you that despite being shunned away you were still here. Alive. Breathing.

You rubbed sleep off your eyes and sat up on the bed.

“Good morning,” the voice was invasive and although you knew Tae was here, you just weren’t used to having anyone around.

“Good morning to you.” you reciprocated, “you seem to be doing well this morning.”

“It was but a couple of scratches.” His back was still turned to you as he scrambled around on top of the stove, “I’m much better. I really hope you weren’t expecting me off this early.”

“Honestly, I thought you would’ve ran out of here as soon as the sun emerged.”

“Why is that?”

“A lot of men flee from the burden of not knowing. Actually, no. . Nobody has ever stumbled amongst my gardens before. I assume they would all run for the hills.”

“Assumptions are not facts.” Tae handed you a piece of bread and a small cup of coffee, “I hope you do not mind me staying just for a bit though.”

“That is fine with me.” You deliver softly. The only burden weighing on your shoulders was getting used to being around Tae and then having to watch him cross that barrier to his regular life back in the village without the faintest memory of you.

“Are you alright?” He asked, taking a seat next to you on the bed.

You nodded, “I’m alright.”

“So. .” he rubbed his hands on his slacks, “What’s on the itinerary for the day?”

“Not much actually,” you laughed as you were reeled back into your pathetic life, “there are very few things to do in here.”

Tae smiled so tenderly it felt as if you were floating on water—as if you were being swayed aimlessly on a body of water. Allowing the curvatures of his mouth to direct you as they pleased. It felt so refreshing having someone smile at you that way. You couldn’t quite get enough of it.

“Anything in particular you need to get done?”

“I need to go wash my clothes in the river.”

“I’ll come along.”

Upon making it to the river you landed at the usual spot on the river bank where a couple of boulders sat. You placed your basket on the ground and reached for the first item before smearing soap on it to slap, twist and rub the clothes against the rock.

You repeated the same for everything you brought over which was not necessarily a whole lot but you felt the need to distract yourself from being so indulged in Tae’s presence.

“So what are you going to do to arrange a meeting with this wealthy person to get you out of here?” He laid on the grass, his head touched your calf slightly and you swore you could feel the small sparks beginning to ignite as his dark hair tickled your skin.

“First, I have to see if he’s back in town.”

“And how would we know?”

You shrugged, “They’re pretty well known so I’m hoping word gets around and somehow makes it back to me.”

“That’s an absurd plan.” His protests were right but you really had no way of arranging for things to be executed in a better way.

“Well, Tae, that is the best I could come up with. There’s no other way.”

“Are you even being watched here?” He asked.

“I walked the perimeter of the Levate previously but I didn’t see anyone guarding it but all my previous ancestors who have attempted an escape have been killed shortly after leaving.” You twisted the cloth a bit harder against the hard surface.

“So they’re not caught leaving but instead on the road out of the village. I’m guessing they’ve been unlucky enough to encounter people who honor that wicked family.” Tae continued, “how many have tried to escape?”

“Two.”

“One’s a coincidence but I believe in a situation like this two might be intentional. I’m not sure I remember but there might be guards watching movement in and out of the village”

“Seems like it. . but I do not plan an escape. I wanna leave out of here honorably and to break this stupid curse once and for all. It needs to end with me.” You rubbed harsher and harsher.

“I promise I will remember you. I’ll help you get out of here,” he sat up and guided your chin towards him—your eyes met his once again. They were dark this time, almost black and you could tell he actually meant the words he said and even though you did not quite believe he had a say in remembering anything upon crossing the barrier you smiled either way. He believed in you and your hopes of getting out and that’s all that mattered.

“I’ll hold you to that.” You laughed playfully.

“You won’t have to wait long.” He held your hand and his thumb rubbed circles on your wrist, “I promise.”

Promise. The density of the word was far too great and while you wanted to believe Tae’s dulcet words, you knew that even if unintentionally he would forget about your existence the moment he left.

His heart was in the right place but you could not get your hopes up on empty promises.

You just had to find the Kim son.

“It’s really no trouble. I don’t want you knocking door to door back at the village asking about the girl living in the woods.”

“I’ll do it if I have to. You are not your ancestors’ mistakes. You deserve a chance at a life to live.” His touch was still soothing against you, it mimicked the softness of silk and you could maintain your fingers intertwined for an eternity. Funny enough in this situation an eternity did not seem long enough to have Tae holding you as he was.

“I’ll be here.” There was a flutter in your heart—something you’ve never felt before, “I would ask about you but your memory is impaired at the moment.”

“Yeah,” He scoffed, “I’m hoping I’m an only child and hopefully a succeeding prince.”

“A prince would never set foot in Hawkshead.”

“Perhaps I was in search of my princess.”

“In Hawkshead?” you shook your head, “again. . unrealistic.”

“Not entirely.” He laid back on the grass and closed his eyes, “It is no secret how desperate princes tend to be.”

“So now you are desperate?”

“Perhaps,” he shrugged.

“Perhaps—” you reiterated, “and what exactly is his desperateness dependent on?”

“The lady I would be searching for I guess.”

“I’m sure there are countless potential maidens to choose from back in Hawkshead.”

“Hawkshead?” He chuckled amusingly.

“Well, yes, that was your intentional destination. Was it not?” A breeze swept swiftly easing the haze raging in your head as a result of Tae’s words and the scorching mid-summer sun.

“Intentional?” he shrugged, “Sure. But I believe I ended up right where I needed to be.”

“You believe so?” You hummed.

“I know so.” Tae was confident and the certitude behind his words sent a shiver down your spinal cord—just twenty four hours with him and your heart began to pounce at your chest whenever his voice graced your ears. Your movements slowed and you felt breathless as if his being alone sucked the air right out of your lungs.

“The implications of this place are less than ideal don’t you think?” you resonated.

“You have lived it darling. Is the Levate substandard?”

“It is like a prison chamber,” you scrubbed the top in your hands so hard it felt like you were grating your palm on the boulder.

“Do you not believe yourself to be free?”

“I live the same days over and over again, Tae. There is no freedom within these borders.”

“I suppose you’re right.”

His being was alluring like one of those paintings your father kept in his study back home. The soft strokes of the emerald grass complimented the honey tone Tae seemed to have adopted for the duration of summer. Elegance augmented his features from his dark locks, to the soft smile curved at his face, to his attire.

He belonged in an art gallery.

He cleared his throat, “can I ask something?”

“Sure.”

“Is your love already promised to someone else once you leave this place?”

“No.” One word responses were not usually your forte but Taehyung’s question was rather surprising, although coming from the peak of his curiosity you expected nothing less, “why is that inquiry living in your head?”

“I wanted to decipher whether I would ever have a chance with you.”

“Perhaps, if it is written in the stars, we could meet back in Hawkshead and during courtship we could attend the balls in each other’ arms.”

“The balls are pretentious and congested with chaotic gestures of desperate daughters. . I want no distraction in my attempt to romance you,” he was a sweet talker, you had noticed, swatting the butterflies in your stomach was useless — you could already feel yourself colliding against him.

“In society we would not be granted the privacy you require. .” you shook your head, “do you want a forced marriage at the cost of your hands accidentally touching mine?”

“Not forced. . My willingness is voluntary.”

“You live inside the fantasy brick walls of your creative mind..”

“Are you saying you would mind?”

“I wouldn’t.”

“Good. Now push over,” He kneeled beside you making your elbows grace each other ever so slightly. You weren’t sure if he did it on purpose or if he even felt what you did but your feet levitated into the stratosphere. His touch even unintentionally swept you right off your feet, “allow me to give you a hand.”

It’s been three days since Tae stumbled upon your rose bushes and sadly it was his last night here in the Levate. He was to cross the barrier early morning and embark on his quest to help you out of here. . if he even remembered.

You really hoped he did but there was no certainty and that very detail would gnaw at your anxiousness until you were given the chance to be face to face with him once again.

“What are you so deep in your head about?” Tae asked from his position on the floor.

“Many things.”

“What? Will you miss me?” He joked.

Yes. You wanted to shout out but you didn’t.

“Not one bit.”

“I don’t believe you,” you were sure there was probably a smug expression plastered on his face but you were too busy glancing out the window to verify, “your days were graced by my charm.”

“So narcissistic,” you heard him gasp, “perhaps you are a descendent of royals after all.”

“It is in my bloodstream.”

An ear-splitting silence fell between the two of you. You realized even just his company sufficed to provide you with warmth and comfort you needed.

“Have you ever tried to count how many stars look over us every night?” The vibrato of his whispered; grave utters bounced right off of the oak walls.

“That would be impossible.” The luminous points invaded the night sky as they did every other night. They were your faithful companions.

“Not at all,” slumber was catching up to him. You could hear it in the stammering, “every night as we lay under the same sky, let’s both count the stars until we finally get to reunite once more.”

“How would we know we are watching them at the same exact time?”

“Just trust your heart.”

“I know it’s selfish. .” you began, “but I wish you could stay for a bit longer.”

Tae did not respond, not vocally anyway. Instead, he turned in the direction of your bed from his place on the floor. His expression was tender, his cheeks were impaled by dimbles.

You would miss his company, and his eyes, and his smile, and the unspoken intimacy you felt dancing between the two of you. You wondered if he felt it as intensely as you did even in such a short time? You wouldn’t dare ask—but your heart was convinced he did, while your head remained on his departure the following morning. No matter how many times he promised, you were aware you would be a granule of sugar in a short three days of his abundant existence, one he would not be able to remember the moment he walked out on the other side.

You wanted to kiss him so badly. His lips were so inviting. . It would be your perfect departure from him.

But there was no use if he would not be able to recall any of it once he crossed over.

“I would stay with you forever,” he murmured.

You opened your eyes abruptly—but he was already fast asleep. Surely, you’d imagined it.

Surely.

“Lord Kim,” a voice sounded through the other side of the door, “are you decent?”

He hummed back groggily and almost immediately his doubled doors were pushed open. The Butler of the Kim estate, Hoseok, invaded his dormitory.

“I told you since I have come back, Hoseok,” he yawned, “you are more than welcome to refer to me as Taehyung.”

“Of course Sir,” he stumbled, “I mean, Taehyung.”

Taehyung sat up on the canopy bed surrounded by fine silk sheets. Ever since he was able to make it home after being missing, life in the Kim estate seemed like so much for just one person. It all did. This bed, his room, his new title as Viscount Kim ever since his father passed away twelve months prior.

Before making it to Hawkshead, Taehyung had gone missing for a period of three entire days, and although his mother had kept this information from him at the time, he managed to obtain the location from where he was found by staff in the manor after his mother passed just nine months ago.

They told him he had been laying down near the northern border of the Levate forest geared towards the entrance of the village.

Back then, he was coming back home to assist his mother with the funerary ceremony for his father—but after losing her as well just a few months after he was shackled to this place as he was officially the new and esteemed, Viscount Kim Taehyung III.

“I just wanted to announce that dinner would be served in about ten minutes, sir.” He did not make it a habit to correct Hoseok on the usage of anything but his name once again. For, he knew his father and ancestors before were rather stern with how they managed life around the home.

He knew his changes would take some getting used to.

“Would you like me to close the drapes, Sir?”

“No, Hoseok, they’re fine. I like to look at the night sky before falling fast asleep.”

“Very well, I’ll see downstairs in ten.” Hoseok walked towards the door and reached for the golden handle before opening it.

“Hoseok,” Taehyung called out, “the files that I requested a few days ago. Have they been fetched yet?”

“Yes sir, they’re bringing up the last of the few boxes and everything should be in the study right after dinner.”

“Thank you so much, Hoseok.”

Hoseok disappeared behind the mahogany door and Taehyung was left alone once again.

Just him and his thoughts.

And somehow they always brought him right back to those three days he couldn’t even precisely remember. The Levate was always known to be desolate; scary and unexplored. Those were the stories his parents always recounted as a warning for him to stay away but he could not help the feeling that there had been someone out there who took care of him.

But who could willingly reside in that creepy forest on the outskirts of the village?

Tae walked over to his bedroom window taking in the sights of the stars swimming amongst the late night sky. In the couple of minutes he stood by he counted hundreds of them. There was a sense of serenity in being able to witness their brightness, there was a bubbling urgency in him in wanting to assign a number to all of them, although it seemed impossible.

He would one day, though, and that was a promise he made to himself.

After scarcely getting through dinner as he did not have too much of an appetite, Taehyung invited Hoseok over to the study in an attempt to get through all of the documents he needed to before dawn.

Under the flickering flames of the candles around the room, Hoseok took the couch with one box while he sat in the leather chair behind your father’s desk with two more. The first few documents detailed finances, work affairs and where your father usually geared towards for business encounters. On the bottom of the first box there was a folder with a black stamp sealed in the top right corner, spelling the word, confidential in all capitals.

He quickly pulled out the folder and scattered the documents out in-front of him. It was a family tree with all of the female descendants circled in red ink for the last two-hundred years. There were two years listed under every single name, one for which they were banished and one for the date indicating they had passed away.

The most recent one showed the latest descent had been banished around six years prior.

Taehyung, flipped through a couple more pages in the document before landing on the agreement between the council, the Kim family and the first ancestor to have been banished.

Apparently, she had attempted to assist in the birth of a Kim ancestor hundreds of years ago who passed during the delivery and instead of public execution, they had sentenced her to banishment in the Levate. Although not stated in the original document they made a new regulation after her passing to imprison all the female descendants on her side of the family as a repercussion to avoid the death of any more babies in the village by the carelessness of their hands.

“This is absurd,” he hissed through gritted teeth, “come here, Hoseok. Did you know about this?”

Hoseok hovered over your shoulder as he began scanning the document, nodding slowly as if he wanted to lie instead but opting against it in the end.

“I found out when it was time for your father to banish the recent descendant six years ago,” he leaned on the dark walls of the room, “but your father wasn’t as understanding as you are. He threatened me and my family in exchange for my secrecy.”

“But he’s been gone for months, Hoseok.” Taehyung reasoned, he was mad that the butler had not brought it up at least once in the past few months, “You’ve had so many opportunities to bring it up to my attention.”

“I did not know many details, Sir,” his lips quivered and Taehyung could see the exasperation glooming over Hoseok, “All I know is the latest descendent was banished and only you have the power to bring it to the council for reconsideration as a Kim.”

Taehyung’s expression softened, “thank you for providing me with the details now. Would you please seek out the council and arrange for a meeting tomorrow afternoon?”

“Of course.”

“This is all for tonight. Please let me know of the meeting time and location come early morning. Good night, Hoseok.”

“Good night.”

The meeting was arranged in the Kim garden early afternoon and while you had discussed some pressing points the council held relating to your parents passing, it was time for you to bring your own concern to their attention.

Most of the original council has now been overtaken by an earlier generation for reasons similar to your own.

“Joon, I presume Hoseok mentioned the reason for the calling of today’s meeting.”

He nodded as he gobbled on yet another tea sandwich, “he provided a brief synopsis.”

Joon was the descendent of the original founder of the council and whatever he said went. He was far less serious and strict than his father was but Tae supposed they all were. None of them were their fathers.

“Why don’t you detail what you want to propose with a bit more clarity, Taehyung?” Yoongi cut-in as he noticed Namjoon was far too indulged in the delicacies table. Yoon was more of the straightforward kind of guy and had fought tirelessly to be kept out of the council but with the passing of his father he had no choice but to step in as the eldest Min son.

“This is regarding the descendants of the Levate. I wanted to propose an official release as the original document was altered after the first healer passed away.” you detailed, “it is not fair to continue the imprisonment of those women in that forest.”

“I agree,” Jimin cut-in. His family was known for being quite liberal and you figured the recorded vote against the sending of that woman to the Levate all of those years ago came from his ancestor.

“That’s 2-5, as I am obviously voting against keeping her there,” Tae said.

“I’m with them seems a bit cruel and unusual,” Seokjin conquered.

“Same.” Yoongi said.

He was the more traditional man of the bunch so it surprised you when Joon seemed to be the bearer of bad news.

“I also agree with your arguments but the only way out of banishment for the healer is marriage to a Kim descendent. It is stated in the original document that you should have read Tae.”

“Don’t ‘Tae’ me if you plan to enforce the rules of our beastly fathers.”

“I plan to do no such thing,” Joon quickly argued, “but we were sworn in to provide transparency to the people of Hawkshead. We are not royalty by any means but as founding families we do not and cannot sit above the mandates of those who came before us, for if we do, how can the people trust in us as the new replacing founders.”

“I’m afraid he’s right, Taehyung,” Seokjin was the voice of reason, “we cannot afford having the village against our judgments and decisions at this time.”

This is not what he originally planned for.

“With all due respect Tae,” Yoongi began, “How about we near the borders of the Levate and summon the descendent. From there we can propose the marriage proposal and see where she stands. If it is not an option for her she will unfortunately have to enter back into the Levate until we can seek a viable way to get her out.”

“It is settled, she does not need to be paying for reparations of an accident that took place years ago. Therefore, all in favor of the marriage proposition to lift banishment say I.” Joon was an honest man, and Taehyung was sure the pressures of being head of the founding council was a heavy-bearing occupation and though this wasn’t the conclusion he was hoping for—it was a start.

A wave of I’s circled around him.

He hesitated but ultimately caved as he saw no other way as of now, “I.”

Approaching the Levate was quite intimidating and it certainly did not help that Yoongi, Jimin, Seokjin and Namjoon had offered to accompany you on the trip to the initiation of a possible loveless marriage.

They stood near the carriage as he walked towards the barrier. The hairs on the back of his neck stood as a wind of familiarity immediately brushed past his face the closer he got.

Taehyung hoped this would not seem odd to you but he was trying his best to get you out of the Levate as soon as possible.

Taehyung saw her figure nearing the border of the green pasture and automatically noticed her smile beaming from ear to ear. She was as radiant as the flowers embedded in the wealthiest of gardens in the village, as dazzling as the sun and her aura was as familiar as the late-night stars he had begun conversing with ever since he made it back home earlier that year.

“Tae, you’re back,” her voice was silky and your name sounded like honey dripping from her lips, “you promised and now you’re back.”

He cleared your throat “I promised?”

“Sorry,” she began, “yes, some months ago you had stumbled into the Levate after being back from a voyage. After falling on my rose garden. I did a miniscule job of pulling out the thorns and you stayed about three days before heading off,” her recount of the events cleared the patches of missing information within your memory.

“Why can’t I remember any of that on my own?”

“The barrier of the Levate erases your memory as soon as you cross over,” her eyebrows were furrowed, “but if you cannot remember how come you are here?”

“My name is Kim Taehyung III, a descendent of the Hawshead founding families. After the recent passing of our fathers the replacement council made it our mission to overturn the cruel mandates set forth by our ancestors.”

“Yes, we discussed that while you were in here,” she said softly, “although, I did not know then that you were the person I needed to speak to.”

“Your case was the first to come to our attention, mine especially, as a Kim descendent. In the unofficial documents by the founders however there is a minor detail standing in the way of your immediate liberation.”

“What is the minor detail?”

“The only way of our banishment for your family is through marriage.” Taehyung said.

Her pupils were blown and her voice quivered, “who would I have to wed?”

“Me. Otherwise you would have to remain in the Levate until the council finds another way to get you out.”

The agreement of marriage came unexpectedly to you but in your time together she had recollections of only pleasant memories plus made you made him promise to drag you along on his explorations when he had to go off on voyages.

You craved to see the world.

Taehyung agreed and after the small wedding ceremony with the founding families bearing as witnesses. The two of you became husband and wife in the local church after your meeting a couple of days prior. Everything was geared on high speed and happened just a few weeks after your meeting with the proposition.

The two of you barely had any time to talk between the legality of documents and the preparations of the hurried marriage.

“Are we all alone?” you asked, flickering on the lights of the family room as you walked in the Kim estate.

“It is the beginning of the honeymoon traditions,” he informed, “the house is left vacant for the husband and wives and the next couple of days we get to ourselves before embarking on a voyage to visit extended family.”

“Is my family still around in Hawkshead?” you asked to take a seat on the couch, he followed sitting across from you.

“They live a boat ride over now but not far. They were granted leave by my father as the remaining siblings seemed to be brothers who were born just a couple of years ago.”

“I have brothers?”

“Twin brothers,” he confirmed, “we can go see them tomorrow if you would like.”

“Can we go later on in the week?”

“We shall go right before heading off to see mine early next week. How does that sound?”

“That sounds fine.”

He scratched the back of his head, “I forgot to thank you for your care back in the Levate. I am sorry I cannot remember anything about our time together.”

She shook her head, “it is not your fault my Lord. I was just happy I could assist, plus you made those three days the best of my time in the Levate.”

“You can just call me Taehyung if you would like.”

“Taehyung.” she repeated, “so it is true that the replacing founders are trying to implement structures of change to Hawkshead. They seem to be less austere and puritanical than their ancestors.”

He flashed a boxy smile in your direction, the one you missed so much over the past year, “I heard they are trying their hardest.”

“I am glad their compassion now graces the land,” you complimented, watching as his cheeks turned as red as the roses he had stumbled upon in your garden, “thank you Taehyung, for keeping your promise of getting me out of there.”

“No need to thank me. Unfortunately, my descendants were at fault for this entire ordeal. It is the least I could do.”

You gazed at the way his cherry lips were moisturized by his tongue. Perhaps, a nervous tic you had not quite picked up back in the Levate. Was he nervous? Replaying, the rather chaste kiss he left on your lips back at the altar and his clammy palms holding yours you deduced he was in fact nervous.

All you could ever think of however was his body heat in your proximity.

“It will forever be engraved in my heart that even after losing your memories of me after crossing the barrier, you still cared enough to get a stranger out of that situation,” you placed your hand on top of his.

“It was my basic duty after everything inflicted on your family all these years,” you noticed the change in his tone as he breathed out ruggedly, “please do not assume you owe me anything because of this. You do not.”

“I know you are a perfect gentleman, Taehyung but my heart beat for you the moment we met back in the Levate. What I feel is not forced or payment for your heroic antics,” his eyes remained on his lap and he seemed to be averting eye contact at all costs, “but that doesn’t mean you are forced to reciprocate something you cannot remember.”

“I cannot remember it,” he spoke barely above a whisper, “but I can feel the way my heart races when you come in my proximity. I felt it during our meeting. I feel it even now.”

The heat rose rapidly as you felt the way his eyes began mapping out your figure sprawled out on the couch. You figured it was a bit onerous though, as the wedding dress gifted to you wasn’t too flattering on your body. You made short strides towards him and stood in between his thighs, after unzipping the fabric you saw as it pooled at your feet exposing your inner-wear.

His carnal desires were reflective on the way his eyes scorched to a deep umber and his lower lip was blanketed under his teeth.

“Can I take you up to my suite?” The question sounded in your ears like a song being played delicately on the keys of pianos.

“Take me to your suite.”

Taehyung carried you bridal style sharing plenty of laughs at the countless trips and stumbles as he trotted up the stairs with you in his arms. You both finally made it to his massive sleeping chamber—it seemed a bit crazy how you were shoved into a tiny pocket of the Levate while Taehyung slept this lavishly every night.

You didn’t hold it against him but it was ironic how your worlds were destined to be so different and somehow clashed.

“Your house is so grand,” your eyes wandered through the different shades of blues adorning his room, “and to think you wanted to stay with me in the forest.”

“What?” he scoffed, “you do not see me as someone who can forage off the land?”

“You are far from the term, Kim Taehyung.”

“Assumptions are not facts,” he laid beside you on the bed and suddenly you were taken back to that morning in the Levate when he uttered those exact words.

“You have said those exact words to me before, you know.”

“My wisdom transcends the erasure of memories from a magical forest. You didn’t know?”

You giggled landing a soft punch on his elbow. “It seems I was not aware.”

“Now you are,” the tips of his fingers felt like waves of static shocks against your skin. He traced the outline of your chin, the nape of your neck, and collarbone before stopping where your cleavage began.

Your eyes were shut tightly as his cold touch continued exploring your searing body.

“Darling, are you sure you want to do this?”

“Taehyung, you have been the muse of my wildest dreams and the root of my deepest desires for the year following your leave,” you caressed his delicate cheeks with the back of your thumbs. He melted right into your touch, “I have longed for you and now I am finally here with you.”

“You waited for me?”

“Well realistically speaking,” you shrugged, “I had nowhere to go. My only option was to wait.”

He winked, “I will remember it my way.”

As a substitute to the small talk the both of you had engaged in to relieve some of the tension clinging to the air, you found yourselves leaning into each other at a leaden speed until finally your lips crashed into one another. His tender lips tasted of strawberries exactly as you imagined.

And the way his lips moved against yours was agonizingly mellow - and made you feel faint.

Who would have guessed being free could ever taste so sweet. . so fucking sweet.

The two of you were bare, crashing back into the ocean of his silk sheets. His wandering touch landed on your breast, while his kisses continued sweeping you off your feet. . his fingers focused on your nipple as he began rolling, pinching, and rubbing the sensitive bud.

“Taehyung. .” you breathed out.

“I’m just getting started,”

His pillowy lips trailed down your stomach leaving icy wet kisses on your skin leading you to succumb to the delicacy of his care. Your paradise you quickly realized was at the mercy of Taehyung’s ministrations.

The way he pecked your body so sweetly was intoxicating.

Just when you believed he reached his destination, he continued to travel lower and lower positioning himself between your thighs.

“Taehyung?” your eyes met his as he hovered over your arousal.

“Do you trust me darling?”

He propped your legs up on his shoulders. A yelp escaped your lips as your pussy was now placed right in front of his face.

Your heart began pounding against your chest blaringly - it became so potent you could almost hear its rhythmic beat against the shell of your ear.

“I trust you.”

The feeling was electrifying and beat through you like a bolt of lightning igniting a warm feeling in the pit of your stomach. His effects on you were lost in the darkness invading your surroundings; still he devoured you as if you were the last meal he’s been presented with.

His tongue licked and sucked your clit. Your breath hitched and all your voice could manage were incoherent babbles accompanied by the chanting of his name.

“Y-you are so good Taehyung.”

He hummed against your folds.

“So good, Taehyung.” You repeated, lacing your finger into his dark strands.

There were spurs of white light behind your eyelids as you became enthralled in the way he continued to move against you. The pleasure was addicting and you were afraid your longing wish was to have Taehyung on his knees every hour of every day and at every given moment.

“Please do not stop,” He continued, “please.”

There were successions of shooting stars ornamenting the heavens and finally you reached the breath-taking place where the earth and the sky meet.

Your heaven.

“You were so good darling,” he paused, “you took my breath away.”

His voice is now deeper than you remembered. A train of moonlight invaded his dormitory. Taehyung looked as stunning as ever, his hair is a disheveled mess, his lips adopted a deeper hue of scarlet while his features were inundated with his sweat.

“Ready?” He asked.

“Yes.”

The feeling was foreign and dissimilar to the feeling you had experienced hen his mouth ate you out, you felt full with him inside of you and although initially there was pain, the more you grew accustomed to it the more pleasure you felt.

His hips moved slowly in and out of you.

Your whimpers mixed with his groans was all that could be heard through the house.

Still, his agonizing pace remained, while his finger landed back on your clit as he traced the number eight repeatedly.

There was no falter in his movements, continued, and continued and continued once again.

Those shooting stars from before burst into beautiful displays of fireworks and for the second time that night you reached your high.

When Taehyung pulled out of you he was still hard, “I am going to head to the bathroom.”

You cut-in, “can I help?”

“Oh,” he moaned, “can you?”

“I want to.”

He sat at the foot of the mattress and patted the spot next to him for you to sit—you did.

“Use your hand. Is that ok with you darling?”

“Yes, can you guide me?”

“Of course.”

The tip of his cock disappeared behind your grasp while his balmy palms covered yours. He guided you down to the base and back up to the tip—the motion he set was swift and you could only ogle as Taehyung masterbated using your hand for release.

The thought made you wet all over again.

He whimpered, “I’m so close.”

His hand remained on top of yours but his motions were no longer leading, he was too engrossed in his own pleasure. You hastened the speed, now determined to help him feel as good as he made you feel.

His whispered moans only motivated your movements until finally his come covered your hand.

After disappearing for a couple of seconds Taehyung walked back from the wash room with a towel in hand, “sorry I didn’t warn you about this,” he wiped you all clean.

“I liked it,” you murmured, “I would like for you to teach me many more things.”

“We have a whole eternity for that darling.”

“Eternity. . That sounds nice.”

-

-

-

author’s note: this feels a but rushed in certain parts and I apologize for that but this story is been something that has taken way too long and I was truly just looking to put it out — hopefully it’s enjoyable though.

thanks for reading. comments, likes, reblogs and messages are always appreciated. let me know what you think <3

EGO DRIVE (m) | JJK

SYNOPSIS:

In the glamorous world of fashion, where egos run wild and money talks, who'd have thought that one arrogant model by the name of Jeon Jungkook would shake up your life?

"No. This was Jeon Jungkook, and at the end of the day, no one cared about the damn clothes."

PAIRING: Model Jeon Jungkook x Reader

RATING: 18+

GENRE: STRANGERS TO LOVERS, ENEMIES TO LOVERS, MODEL AU, FASHION AU, FLUFF SMUT ANGST

WORD COUNT: 11K

A/N: Part 1s always appear to be the most difficult for me to write, so here goes nothing🤭. This bitch worked hard on it, so please offer some love in the comments or let me know if you enjoyed it. PSA!!!!! I know Jks is a jerk in this, but trust me, it will all make sense as you go on! As for Oc, her background will be described in greater detail next part. This ones more jk focused. Last scene is inspired by his DAZED cover hihi🤭

Big thank you to @kooktrash for helping me with the plot and @erica2283 for beta-ing for me🫶🩵

For fucks sake, Jungkook was probably the worst person you've ever had the pleasure of working with...–aside from that time that famous actress tossed her scalding hot latte at you because you didnt know the shade pink didnt suit her. It wasn't your fault! You had no idea who she was to begin with-

A good shade of pink–whether light or dark– suits everyone-

I digress

Back to the assho- Jungkook. Back to Jeon motherfucking Jungkook.

It was a sweltering summer morning, and you'd just finished your first week as a stylist and makeup artist for Calvin Klein the day before. It was all a dream. People were mostly friendly, and if they weren't, they just ignored you rather than gossiping about you behind your back. You weren't a high-level executive–you were easily replaceable. But you did the job, and for the time being, thats all that mattered

The fashion industry was and still is tough, but you snuck your way into one of the top, most trendy labels to this day. It wasnt easy–on the contrary. The rules and regulations were merciless, and your application was disregarded for a couple of months before they even emailed you–you weren't their first choice, thats for sure. But, in the end, they hired you, so you shouldn't feel horrible about yourself and sulk. At least you try not to.

Theres times you gaze out the window of your pricey, run-down downtown apartment. Watching cars and bikes pass by, as the same people who lived nearby walked in and out of the shabby 7/11. You liked making up little stories about their lives in your head while sipping your morning tea or eating your dinner after work–which generally consisted of a 99ct ramen cup from the same 7/11 mentioned earlier

You liked the idea that these people had the same mundane daily live as you–it made you feel better about yourself in some way

But again, I digress

Your morning has gone weirdly well–you didn't trip over that nearly non existent step in front of the entrance door this morning, as you usually do 97% of the time; the barista at the local café got your coffee order right–as they should anyway, in your opinion, because...you're spending $7 for your tripple shot piping hot americano every morning, for heavens sake!

Nevertheless, your mornings going great. Everything is fine-

That is, at least, until you are cleaning your cosmetics palette, humming a radio-hit melody to yourself, that everyone falls silent, at which point you hear faint whispering and chattering as a door creaks open

You don't pay much attention, you knew some hot shot model was planned to be on set today. You assumed he was the one everyone was ogling/giggling about

You do nothing more than lift your head, catching a glimpse of the scenario a few feet away–the way there are roughly 7 bodyguards around him, the way camera flashes become fewer as the door closes behind them, eventually disappearing and staying outside rather than being permitted in

You watch as the set director, who also happens to be your boss, approaches him with excitement–his far too tight shirt showed off his beer belly, and those pants; just no. If this man didn't have a buzzcut, you couldnt imagine he'd be good at even styling his hair–how did he end up as a set director for CK?

Connections, most likely... you answer your own question

Everything nowadays was about connections, not talent. If you knew someone, you were almost certainly going to be hired for a job you weren't even qualified for. Denying opportunities to ppl who were prepared to do the job–who studied hard to do the goddamn job-

Mr. Hardis was a pain to work with; "y/n go get me a coffee", "y/n clean the set up". Those weren't your responsibilities, for God's sake. Mr. Hardis was the epitome of an ass-kissing jerk.

But as long as he paid you on time...well, theres really nothing that you should be complaining about

- 15 hours before the shoot; Incheon airport Seoul South Korea -

"Thats him! Oh my god!"

"Jungkook! can i get an autograph-"

"Jk, why did you break up with Aisha?!"

"What are you wearing?!"

"One picture please-"

He shouldn't be rolling his eyes at his fans in public, especially with so many cameras around him. He never grasped the airport arrival or departure thing–when photographers and fans would camp out for hours simply to see him come into or out of the terminal for a mere 5 minutes or less

He only shakes his head, biting his lip, which is hidden by his black facemask. Actually, you can hardly see his face at all.

Jungkook liked his privacy, or at least the little bit that's left of it anyway

The purple beany obscured the majority of his hair and face. "Back off," one of his bodyguards says as a girl approaches, holding her phone in his face–Jungkook just looks forward, disregarding her

He was used to this

The good news is that he is relatively quickly inside, while most of his fans are forced to remain behind–yelling his name, begging for him to look back one last time. But he doesnt. Why would he?

It was quieter in here, although some people were still pointing their phone cameras at him without any shame. He shakes his head.

He observes as they mutter to each other, catching the faint words "jeon" and "parents" as well as comments like "what an ignorant boy" and "he should be ashamed, leaving his fans hanging like that" from old ladies who most likely read the tabloids about him in their spare time, cup of tea in one hand and piece of cake neatly placed on their terrace tables as they people watched and gossiped

He scoffs once more, glancing ahead and holding his passport up to the staff in front of him. It was a woman, maybe in her early 30s, with nice skin, a nice figure, and shining eyes. He lowers his mask for her to confirm his identification but before drawing it back up. He flashes her a smirk before passing by her

He hears the last camera flashes as he steps into his private zone at the airport, eager to relax and wait for his jet. At least he didn't have to deal with other people while travelling. Aside from his bodyguards and assistants, who were already on board the plane, preparing for his arrival and departure to LAX.

He despises it. The spotlight, the cameras, the...attention. It was ironic, really, since he was a model, and he didn't mind being recorded at work.

But when he was in private or when he didn't want to be watched? It sucked. Welcome to the world of a celebrities son.

A so-called nepo baby or whatnot, someone who apparently got everything handed to him on a silver platter. It made him scoff just thinking about it

He takes a second to grab his phone, tapping on it to look at the time. 10am. Underneath it, a message catches his eye

Mom: be careful today, me and dad tried to make sure your arrival in LA will be as calm as possible

Mom: make sure to text me when you arrive💖

He types a quick "okay" before humming to himself as he looked outside the window

It's not that he doesn't love appearing for the camera–as a creative director and part of many projects, he gets to determine what side of him ends up on the covers of magazines like Vogue, W, or Dazed. The only thing that fucking annoyed him was the gossip and the lack of privacy.

If you haven't guessed, Jungkook hated his parents' celebrity status and the fact that he didn't get to choose whether or not he wanted to be in the spotlight–he was born into it

Fuck fame, fuck money–at the age of 25, he still had no idea who he was. And that one time he tried to see a therapist? His information was leaked, letting the entire media know what he was going through at the time. He removed most of his social media accounts shortly after that, not wanting to see the stupid remarks, the hate.

He basically vanished for an entire year, staying under the radar. But that was now 7 years ago, he was 18 at that time and didn't know any better. So, after a year of trying to find out how to move on with his life, he just figured that if he didn't show his emotions, if he didn't let people close to him, they wouldn't be able to hurt him.

Jungkook mastered the art of pretening

Pretend to be friends with them

Pretend to be interested in their life

Pretend to listen when they talk

Pretend to care

Pretend pretend pretend

Jungkook could count his friends on one hand, those friends being Kim Namjoon and Min Yoongi, whom he grew up with and considered as his older brothers

Everyone else you saw him partying with or leaving clubs with on the news or on Twitter were nobodies who thought they knew him while exploiting him for fame and money. 'Why pay when kooks here?' He'd heard it much too often.

He often left with girls. Jungkook wasn't a picky man. If they caught his attention and he sort of tolerated them, he would gladly accept their invites to their homes for the night

He didn't love the girls he dated–he pretended to but never meant it.

Especially after sex, the way hed swinf his arms around them while they smiled and traced his tattoos. Playing with the hem of his boxers as they kissed along his jaw

"Do you love me?" They'd ask, hopeful eyes looking up at him, wishing they'd be the ones on the cover of magazines the next day titled as Jeon Jungkooks next love. Jungkook would just chuckle, take a drag of his post sex cigarette, and look them in the eyes, lying, "of course I love you."

Love...love was something he used ti think would solve everything. A girl who liked him for him. Jungkook. Not Jeon Jungkook, son of Jeon Seona and Jeon Jungshik.

But when she left, she took a piece of him with her, breaking him.

She, who hed thought would stay with him. She who hed thought would never hurt him

She shattered him.

No

Love shattered him

Fuck love

-----

You sigh and return to your now clean palette. You used to get excited when meeting celebs like him, but after a few interactions with people like them, you realised they're all just human at the end of the day–who don't care about people like you.

What was that saying again? Never meet your heroes? Yeah...

Next to you is a sheet, the identical one that was emailed to you and everyone else on set a few days ago–it was the shoot description and theme.

"I'd rather be dead than cool."

You couldn't deny that it piqued your curiosity when you initially opened the doc that night. Hot cup of coffee in your hand, ready for an all nighter to research makeup looks that would fit the vibe

You didnt get selected for styling today. Rather for makeup duty. That's why you were cleaning the palette in the first place–grey, blue, and soft green tones neatly arranged on the table beside you

You'd studied his face a bit–just to get to know what you were going to work with, and, as much as you hated to admit it, he was attractive in every aspect

You knew it would be an easy day at work with a face like his, since his features were perfect to work with; his sharp jaw attracted your attention initially, and it would be simple to match his foundation tone with the remains of his body. Then there was his nose, round and slightly bigger, but with a sharp twist that would be easy to apply makeup on. His dark and piercing eyes were ideal for applying eyeliner and a smidge of shadow–maybe some darker grey or hints of blue. His lips were lovely, not big but not thin–the ideal in-between.

You'd worked with models before, particularly attractive ones, but never with someone of this status. If you weren't mistaken he's the kind of celebrity people on the internet loved to refer to as nepo baby

His parents were well known actors in the 1980s, so you didn't know if you'd recognise them if you saw them walking down the street or in a grocery store. You'd be sure to ask your parents when you got home–if you didn't forget, anyway.

All you knew was that the man who had just entered the studio was important, important enough not to mess up his makeup even once

Dont talk to him y/n, cause god forbid you say something cringy

Ugh, just thinking about it makes you want to slap your forehead

"I can't believe he chose our location out of all the options he had." Lia, the petite blonde girl you've grown to like, practically squeaks next to you in delight

You give her a little smile and nod, adding, "I know, right?" As you check the makeup desk to see if you have everything prepared for later

Clean brushes? Check

Cotton Swabs and Pads? Check

Clean mirror? Check

Make up remover? Check

Neat setup? Double check

You and Lia were little more than work besties, as she referred to you two. She'd been a hairstylist here for over a year now, and you were pretty sure she'd seen many bigger celebs than him, but you liked seeing her excited–you loved how you could actually sense how much she adored her job

It made you happy too

"I heard he chose LA for the weather and laid back vibes!" She continues, your gaze fixed on the time on your phone before looking at her and nodding along "He must be tired, though...heard he just arrived from the airport...didn't get any rest whatsoever," she somewhat pouts, and you laugh slightly amused–if you had to name one person who has the most empathy for people, it would have to be her

"Its his job now, isnt it?" You shrug, "just like we have pull all nighters sometimes and only get 2 hours of sleep-" you chew on your bottom lip "-he has to head to work right after a what? 15 hour flight? Thats life" fiddling with one of the cosmetics brushes, you glance around the set, photographers hustling around, preparing their cameras while other staff members setup the set

It was basic, a black old-timer parked in the middle–if your eyes didn't deceive you, it was a Lamborghini Miura 1966–you didn't know much about cars, but your father had a photo of one hanging in the garage since you were a kid

You made a mental note to snap a picture to send to him later

One thing was certain–Jungkook had taste–expensive taste, at that–but that was to be expected from a man of his wealth. What was he again? highest paid male model in 2022?

Something like that

"Mh, i guess youre right"

Lia's voice draws your attention back to her, and you notice her fiddling with her fingers, just like you were doing with the makeup brush. You could tell you were both nervous right now, her possibly more than you, which was strange given she had been working here longer

Perhaps it was the fact that he was more than just a celebrity working with the brand; he was the global ambassador. "Should we get lunch after-" Lia speaks up, only to be cut off by the director himself, "right everyone!" He claps his hands together to attract everyone's attention, "well be starting the shoot at point 10am, which is in exactly an hour-" his voice fades into the distance as lia tugs on your arm, catching your attention back to her

"Whats up?"

"Im kinda nervous now, what if i fuck up" Lia chew on her bottom lip as she turns to gather her things, making sure everything is set before she starts working on his hair soon

You smile at her, mimicking her movements as you go over your supplies one last time. The last thing you want is for a product to miss and halt the entire shoot. That would almost certainly get you fired. And bye bye to your lovely dream of making it big in the industry

"He's already got the looks, so even if you mess up, it won't be too noticeable," you joke, crossing your arms as you lean against the table, "but I'm curious if he's got anything else going for him," you snort, causing Lia's eyes widen in surprise as she looks at you–or rather behind you

"I can hear you, you know"

The sudden voice makes a chill run down your spine as you slowly turn around

As he stares at you, the man you've certainly come to know as Jeon Jungkook stands there in all his handsome glory–arms crossed, tongue poking the inside of his cheek

Fuck, did you really just insult one of the most important people at your job? What a way to leave a first impression...

One of the first things you notice about him are his numerous piercings, which dknt take away from the attractiveness of his face but rather enhance it. You first notice his double pierced lip–jeez that must have hurt–maybe you'll ask him about it later for some small talk

Next, your gaze is drawn to his ears, which are both fully pierced and adorned with small hoops. Finally, you come to a halt at his brow, the small but lovely charm that pierces through it, adding a harshness to his gentle face

He smelt of expensive perfume and cigarettes, maybe even weed-but who were you to judge?–as Lia had said; 'he must be exhausted'. So the fact that he might have hit it once or twice before arriving shouldn't surprise you

The outfit he initially arrived at the set with is simple yet fashionable, a black oversized shirt paired with some equally as oversized pants

Somehow, you could still tell the man was ripped underneath all that clothing

You smile and laugh nervously, "Well, at least you've got one thing going for you" you try to lighten the mood by cracking a joke, only to be met with a hard stare

Great y/n, this is exactly why you don't speak to clients–the global ambassador for the brand which your life depends on–at that

"Right," he scoffs, looking you up and down, blatantly judging your outfit. You weren't wearing anything special. Your job didn't require you to wear a uniform–the only condition was that everyone who worked here wore at least one piece of the brand's apparel

You got a big employee discount of 50%, so going out shopping the day you got hired wasn't too pricey. You were dressed in a simple white CK shirt and black flared CK jeans

The rest were some thrifted half-broken Converse highs you bought when you were 16, as well as a similarly thrifted Zara jacket you bought last year–you weren't wearing that one, but it hung nicely over your chair. In a way, it was reasonable to say you didnt look like a fashion major–you did know how to style properly, but putting clothing on other people was easier than putting clothes on yourself. You wouldn't be a skilled stylist if you didn't understand what you were doing

Looking down at yourself, your cheeks heat up as you stare at the same coffee stain on your shirt as he was

What were the consequences of simply running out the venue now? Because, to be frank, you'd love to sink into the ground right this moment

Thankfully, his assistant arrives a few moments later with an iced americno–you wondered how many shots someone as busy as him needed this early in the morning, was it 2? Or 3 like yourself?–in one hand and a clipboard with what you imagined was his schedule in the other. You let out a breath of relief, which Jungkook seemed to notice but dismiss, setting himself down on the black chair with his name written on the back and waiting for you to start your job. Your eyes widen "right", and you let out a nervous breath, beginning with figuring out his foundation shade

You decide not to ask him about his piercings after all

You wanted to maintain some dignity and professionalism. Sitting down in your little swivel chair you began applying concealer with a fresh beauty blender, trying not to touch his face too much and keeping the tapping to a minimum

You're relieved when Jungkook begins chatting with his assistant, and you try your best not to eavesdrop–but you can't just turn off your ears, can you?

"You have to leave the shoot at point 12," she points out, noting something on the small clipboard in her manicured hand

"Were only shooting for 2 hours?" He asks nonchalantly, sounding much nicer than he did when he talked to you

Maybe it's because of your stupid ass joke y/n, you reason. Thatd explain everything.

"Yes, two hours," she nods again, "will that be an issue? I can call Vogue and tell them you'll be late for the interview-."

"Ah no," he says pleasantly, waving his hand. "That won't be a problem, I was just wondering because my shoots usually take longer," he adds, toying with his liprings as he concentrates his gaze on you, whos mostly focused on diping a brush into the black eyeshadow and carefully tapping part of the pigment off afterwards

Ah, an interview huh?

You'll look him up again during your break. Sure, he was a model, but why would he need to be interviewed by one of the most popular magazines? What was so intriguing about Jeon Jungkook aside his parents or his connection with CK?

You bite your bottom lip, deep in thought, as you lean back and tell him to close his eyes. That he does. With a light touch, you sweep the brush over his lid, applying just a smidge of colour before diving back into the palette for a shade of blue

You weren't a curious person, but rather a bored one with nothing better to do. Sure, it wasn't the wisest move in the world, and it was a little strange to search up a client on Google while he was still on set. You felt strange even thinking about looking him up. Mh.

Well, you were just a bored girl at work–isn't it what everyone in your situation would do? Maybe instead of googling, you could ask Lia about him–she seemed to be a fan

Talking about her-

With a smile and a tool bag in hand, she approaches the 3 or 5 of you–if you include the bulky bodyguards a few feet away from you.

"Hello," she says, lightly bowing as she introduces herself as his hairstylist for the day–you're too deep in concentration and thought on his makeup and about what you'll be having for lunch later to even listen properly

However, from what you can discern, he happens to be a lot friendlier to her than he was to you. That joke was a tragedy

You frown, which Jungkook notices as he glances at you while you apply a small amount of liptint on his lips

As you apply it with a small brush, you observe the way he purses his lips a little. This was certainly not new to him. However, the fact that he knew what to do with each makeup step and that you didn't have to tell him was reassuring

Even well known models and artists who deal with makeup on a regular basis don't always know when to do what

Stop praising him for the bare minimum y/n

"Shoot starts in 15," the set director says over the loudspeaker, pacing around the set as if he owned it–which, technically, he did. You hum to yourself and casually nod. You were nearly finished with his makeup–or lack thereof; Jungkook didn't require much retouching to his already flawless face

Again, stop praising him

Lia didn't have as much work to do either, as the theme of tpday's shoot required her to leave his hair a little messy–rebellious. So, after combing it and drowning it with hairspray while running her hand over his hair, she was finished

"All right, Jungkook, follow me," Sana, one of the stylists in charge of his clothing–aside from him, of course, as he was also the creative director for today's shoot–brings him to his wardrobe.

Sana was...mh...a couple years older than you. You weren't sure by how much, but it had to be three or four years. She must have been in her mid-late twenties while you were 22. You didn't talk much to her–she showed you around on your first day at work, but that was about it

She was, as you could think, pleasant. Her hair was blonde, but not like Lias'. While her hair was a yellowish blonde, Sana's was almost white. She had a nice smile, which she had probably perfected over the years to show clients as she nodded mindlessly while they talked

Her style was unlike anything you'd ever seen before–the flared pants she wore today complemented the yellow shirt she wore flawlessly. Its like she took on a new persona everyday. One day she looked like your nice neighbour girl, the other like someone out of a 80s movie–her job definitely fit her.

You liked her jewellery; the gold bands on her wrist caught your eye as soon as you stepped into the set this morning.

You watch Jungkook get up from the seat in front of you, check himself up in the mirror, then adjust his shirt and walk away with her. You let out a breath you hadn't realised you'd been holding, locking eyes with Lia in a knowing way. You both laugh

"You think hell hold a grudge?" You teasingly ask, crossing your arms and leaning back against the makeup counter, chewing on your lip, one brow raised

"No way," Lia laughs, "don't even think he'll remember us when he comes back tomorrow."

You give a nod.

Right. The shoot was meant to last a week, so you'll probably have to deal with him again tomorrow. Oh crap

-

"Look directly into the camera." Jake, another work friend of yours, says barely above a whisper, talking to Jungkook who is basically doing whatever he wants. The photos turn out beautiful, but modelling involves working together rather than doing whatever you want

You bite your lower lip, keeping a close eye on them

Jake has been working here for quite some time now, was it 2? Or three years? You can't remember, hed just briefly mentioned it. From what you've seen in the week you've been here, he was good at his job–the photos he shot were unique and difficult to replicate. He had a distinct styls, and you could see him rise to the top in the industry over time. Who knows? Maybe one day you'll be able to say you worked with the Jake Abrahams.

Somehow, there seems to be tension between him and Jungkook though

You shake your head. Youre just seeing things y/n. The lack of sleep you got tonight made you huffy and irritated

"Hold that pose." Jake pokes his tongue out lightly in concentration while he snaps some more pictures, Jungkook's intense gaze switching between the camera and...you? Why's he looking at you? But just as quickly as he focuses on you, he's back to the camera

That was weird

As you watch the shoot, you fumble with the hem of your shirt. It had been about 20 minutes since it started, and Jungkook was doing an excellent job. Maybe not at cooperating with the photographer but he knew how to operate the camera, making the cameraman's job nearly too easy. You watch as he bites his lower lip, turns around, and runs his hand through his hair. He was born to do this.

You may not like him, but you had to give credit where credit is due

"Let's take a short break to look at the pictures and then try a different angle and the next outfit" Mr. Hardis claps his hands together making Jake place down his camera with an irritated frown before stepping over to the monitor and scrolling through the images.

Jungkook relaxes and cracks his neck before following suit, his steps long and dangerous as if he was walking a catwalk. He knew all eyes were on him, and he seemed to like the attention

Ugh, celebrities and ther egos

You take a second to look besides you at Lia, whos just oggling over the guy. You hold back a laugh

"I think we need to touch up his makeup a little," Jake says as he glances at the images, zooming closer to his face and already colour correcting some of them. He makes sure the lightings good, and everything is perfectly centered

His face turns back at you. Giving you an apologetic smile

You nod understanding and head over, taking a couple brushes and concealer with you

Jungkook looks up at you once, then back down at the monitor, frowning a little. Someones not happy

You roll your eyes, sighing under your breath. Maybe if he listened to what Jake had to say-

Jungkook doesn't move much, only stepping back from the monitor to allow you to sneak in front of him and adjust his makeup while he continues to analyse the images without even looking at you

"I think these two are the ones," Jake says as he shows the two photos he's referring to. Mr. Hardis nods, his horrible fake smile returning to Jungkook to see what he thinks

You frown as you fight the urge to roll your eyes again at the fakeness of it all

Once more Jungkook doesnt fail to notice

He only hums, clenching his jaw as he stares down at you, your eyes locking. You gulp

What did he want?

"What do you think?" he asks you.That asshole. What was he up to?

"Uhm...me?" Your eyes widen as you look between him and a equality as confused looking Mr Hardis. His brows shoot high in surprise as he clears his throat but decides not to say anything

"Yeah, youre part of the shoot." Jungkook grins and crosses his arms, muscles bulking out, tattoos begging to be admired by you. And as much as you want to- you dont. "What do you-" he tilts his head "-think?" he asks

Oh, someone please hold your hand back because you were about to lose your job by wiping that smug grin off his face.

You turn your head to the monitor, eyes scanning over the two pictures displayed. He looked flawless without any editing, and the pictures looked perfect, taking a step back and briefly looking over at Jake, who was suppressing a chuckle, his arms crossed over his platted shirt, you smile "Mh" you hum seeing Mr. Hardis' jaw clench from your peripheral view "i dont know..." you look back at Jungkook, whose eyes pierce into yours. "They look a little...emotionless," you shrug, "that's just my opinion though, you're the model," you smile. But you're both aware that it's not genuine.

"I see" Jungkook hums, pretending to take your opinion to heart as he looks next to you at Mr. Hardis "i was thinking the same"

Hah!- wait, what now?

What does he mean by "i was thinking he same"?! He wasnt supposed to agree!

Mr. Hardis looks at Jake for a split second before clearing his throat and glaring at his ugly and way too expensive watch. "Well, technically, we could shoot this part a bit longer" he starts "right Jake?" He grits through his teeth

"Sure," Jake shrugs, picking up his camera and fiddling with the settings while Mr Hardis takes a cigarette break before returning to the set as everyone else prepares

This leaves you and Jungkook alone at the monitor. Theres an awkward silence for a second before you look down at your–definetly, ready to throw away–shoes. Sighing you speak up "Listen, I'm sorry for basically calling you stupid earlier, I didn't mean it," you admit, glancing up only to see him walk away from you, as if he hadn't heard anything. Oh, but you know he had. You scowl, "actually, now that I think about it, I take everything back" you murmur under your breath, "asshole"

-

"No way"

"Way," you mutter, munching on the ramen you bought right after leaving work. The 7/11 trip you made every night after work to get dinner was a small dose of enjoyment.

You're sitting on the small seat by your window, the view allowing you a small glimpse of the entire nightlife of your normally quiet suburb. "He was-" you grunt as you take another bite, "-such an ass" you continue, your mouth still full. "Cant believe its always the assholes that get famous" you add

"Well you did call him stupid-" Hoseok, your best friend of seven years, answers on the other side of the phone while eating his own food. Hobi was your little ray of sunshine, not that you needed it–you weren't a grumpy person in general, though you could be just now. Unfortunately, he didn't live anywhere near you, his home being in your hometown back in NYC, so seeing each other was difficult–thankfully, phones existed

"I did," you nod along with him, "but not in a bad way!" you take a sip of your soda. "I was obviously joking!" You shake your head, "ugh no-" you fling your head back, "I hate him"

"And when i tried to apologise to him, you know what he did?" You roll your eyes poking the inside of your cheek "he just walked away!"

"No way!"

"Way!" You thow your hands up in defeat

"Anyway," Hobi says over the phone, pausing for a second, "but he's hot, right?" He asks just to make sure youre talking about the same Jeon Jungkook

"He's a big celeb back in Korea, more than in the US," he says, adding, "my cousin almost lost it when I told her you'll be working with him-"

"You know that was confidential information I told you, right?" you ask through your phone, laughing but trying to stay serious. "No ones supposed to know about the shoot until it is released," you remind him, but he simply brushes you off, waving his hand "yeah yeah, anyway, what am trying to say is" he wiggles his brows "you need money, and he has plenty of it-."

There is a brief moment of silence before you respond. "You want me to rob him...?-"

"What? No!" He interrupts you with a chuckle, shaking his head, "goddammit y/n, you're hot, hes hot..." He attempts to persuade you to connect the dots, but when you don't, he simply sighs and shakes his head, "you should try to get close to him!" Finally, he explains.

Your eyes grow wide, and you make a disgusted face, dropping your chopsticks "ew! No!"

- 2nd Shoot Day -

"What do you mean Sana is sick?" Mr. Hardis scowls on the phone as he steps outside the shooting location, cigarette in hand, brow furrowed, shaking his head in disbelief. The time was 9:15 am, and the shoot was set to begin in 45 minutes, with Jungkook arriving in 15. However, without the head stylist on hand to supervise the clothes and styling, things might get...complicated, delaying the entire shoot by hours, if not days

Who would alter his outfit, which might be too large or small for him? Who would mend, cut, or sew things together? You were doomed in the absence of Sana. It was as easy as that

If you were sick? No problem, they have a replacement. If Lia got sick, there was a replacement. But, no Sana meant-, oh no...

"Whats all the commotion?" Jake asks as he walks over to you, drying his hands from helping staff clean up the set from yesterday, "whys Mr. Ass-kisser look like he got fired and divorsed at the same time?" He adds laughing

You chuckle as you take the towel from him and place it in the dirty clothes basket next to you. "Apparently Sanas sick," you can't help but bite your lip and rub your hands together nervously. The fact that this was one of your first significant shoots didn't help matters–why couldn't this have happened a few months from now, when you'd learnt how to deal with stress like this? Why now?

"Oh shit," Jake says, rubbing a hand over his, you asumed freshly shaved, beard, "what now?" He asks, as if you knew any better

You look around the place, its only now that you notice everyone getting more nervous by the minute

"I really don't know," you cross your arms over your light blue oversized hoodie–a limited edition CK one that lia sneaked out for you from the back–frowning as you now both watched Mr. Hardis run circles on set. You side eye Jake and he does the same, making the two of you break out in laughter

The situation wasnt funny, but the way youd never seen Mr. Hardis this nervous was sort of amusing

"Okay," you giggle, gazing down at your phone before switching it off again. "I need to start preparing for makeup," you tell Jake, lightly touching his arm as you turn to face him. "His Majesty's about to arrive," you joke before leaving

"Dont forget to kiss his feet when he arrives!" Jake calls after you, and all you do is raise your thumb saying, "Will do!"

- 9 am, 2nd shoot day JUNGKOOK -

A knock on his hotel room door wipes Jungkook out of his daydream as he now stares at himself in the mirror. Hed just taken a shower, the mirror still lightly foggy as the reflexion revealed him

Jungkook hasnt felt like himself in years

No matter how hard he tries

No matter how hard he works on his body

He looks great, no doubt

But when he looks at his reflection, he doesnt see himself

Sure he sees his body, the way his abs ripple without him trying, the towel losely hanging around his waist threatening to fall off by any small movement. His necklace, the angelwing charm hanging from it, the memories that stick to it...its all too much.

But he doesnt see himself–just a version of him that carries him through his day

With a shake of his head he runs a hand through his dripping wet hair. "Jungkook, we leave in 15" his assistant speaks from outside the door, making him nod even if she couldnt hear. She leaves soon after, knowing well hed heard

His clothing was chosen for him the night before by a stylist his assistant took care of hiring for his stay in LA

A light blue flowy jacket and a white tank top. Looking down, he finds a pair of baggy jeans and Converse. Enough to make it to the shoot.

His gaze returns to the necklace from earlier, which is now neatly laying on his nightsand. Jungkooks eyes dart away, only to return a split second later. He nibbles on the bottom of his lip before tossing his head back and poking the inside of his cheek. "Goddammit," he exclaims before walking up and looking down at the jewellery in his hand

"Fuck," he mumbles, his hand forming a fist and clenching it tightly. "Damnit," he hisses as he throws his head back, frowning and tossing the necklace somewhere in the room

He turns away, about to leave, when he comes to a halt and glances back. Shaking his head, he walks over and picks it up again, this time placing it in his back pocket

-

"I need a coffee, let's stop somewhere," Jungkook says 5 minutes into the journey to the shooting location, his gaze never leaving his phone as he texts Namjoon and Yoongi

The black van is empty, with just his two managers sitting opposite him, arranging today's schedule before sending it to his assistant, who had arrived at the set after being told a staff member's sick.

Being Jungkook's assistant meant not just dealing with his fuck ups, but also dealing with those of others around him. He'd had five in the previous four years, and this one was holding up rather well

Yet he tried not to get too attached. Not that he had to try hard anyway

"We can do that," one of them says, before telling the driver, who makes a fast right turn

Groupchat: 🐰🐨🐱

Joon: hows LA Man

Today 9:20 am

Joon: paparazzi followed you till your hotel yet?

Today 9:20 am

Jungkook rolls his eyes at his friends sarcastic messages

Jungkook: fuck off man

Today 9:21 am

Jungkook: you know my parents pay them enough to stay off my back when im off duty

Today 9:21 am

Namjoon: yet you still think youre not spoiled

Today 9:22 am

Namjoon: money cant buy happiness kookie

Today 9:22 am

Jungkook: dont call me that

Today 9:23 am

Jungkook: yes it can

Today 9:23 am

Namjoon: well, im happy and and I've never once regretted not taking on my dads company and marrying Jini instead

Today 9:24 am

Jungkook: so you tell me every single time we talk about this

Today 9:24 am

Namjoon: cause its true! Being rich is great, i believe that, but love man?

Today 9:25 am

Jungkook: im gonna stop you right there

Today 9:25 am

Namjoon: yet youre still carrying that damn charm with you right now, arent you?

Today 9:26 am

When Jungkook doesnt answer, Namjoon types again

Namjoon: exactly

Today 9:26 am

Yoongi: cant yall text in fucking private

Today 9:27 am

Yoongi: im trying to sleep

Today 9:27 am

Jungkook: isnt it like 5pm over there?

Today 9:28 am

Joon: yeah.

Today 9:28 am

Yoongi: yeah

Today 9:30 am

For a moment, no one texts, so Jungkook turns his phone off to look outside the black tinted window. Too many thoughts running around in his pretty head

Yoongi: Also, Jungkook, get over her already, she broke your heart 7 years ago. Time to move on

Today 9:35 am

- Flashback–7 years ago–JUNGKOOK -

"I got it for you," he says, tilting his head to gaze at Mina, who only raises her brow at him

"A charm...?" She asks, a little surprised, as she fiddles with the gift in her hand

Jungkook's grin fades slightly, "I mean yeah? So you can think of me when you miss me," he says, burying his face in her neck, smile returning "you know I'll be gone for 2 months baby."

"I know," she says, rolling her eyes as she looks down at the angelwing pendant, "but this? It's not necessary. If I miss you, I can call you," she laughs

"You can," he shrugs, drawing her in closer, tugging a stray blonde hair strand out her face "or you can be a little romantic and look at it when you miss me."

- End of Flashback -

Jungkook's arrival at the venue is anything but quiet and on the low, as cameras swarm his car before he can even get out. He curses the people who continually reveal his location to the paparazzi, making his day even more difficult

"Jk, over here!"

"Who are you wearing?"

"Do you care about anything besides fame and money? What do you aspire to be?"

"What do you think about your supposed fans leaking private videos of yourself?"

"Was your 2018 public breakup a PR stunt?" Tell us!"

After his security men clear the path, he puts on his black facemask and steps out of the van. It is short. Only a 20-foot walk till he was safely inside the set location

He sighs, his gaze meeting that of the countless cameramen vying for his attention. Big cameras covering most ofbtheir faces–at least they got a good quality shot of him

He refuses to back down as he maintains eye contact, clearly annoyed by the invasion of his privacy. "Come on this way," one of his bodyguards guides him inside, and once the door closes behind them, he lets out a sigh of relief, looking back up as he removes his mask–tattooed hand on full display. Anyone who didnt recognise him before, did now.

That famous ink covered hand

He made quite a stir when he reappeared after a year of disappearance from the public eye. They used to know him as an 18 year old who had just graduated from high school. But when he returned, he looked drastically different, with tattoos and piercings all over. He was definitely not the same person they thought they knew oh so well

And maybe that was for the better

What he doesn't expect is to make eye contact with you, who happens to be looking up from the loud noise he caused, once he lifts his head

Did you do your makeup differently today? He didn't remember you looking this dolled up yestedsay

You did, in fact, apply more makeup today. Only to appear presentable, and totally not because Hobi kept you up all night convincing you that you would look more professional if you, as the makeup artist, actually wore make up. Who would have guessed?

But you can't help but think hobi had ulterior motives...like attempting to get you and Jungkook to click

That would never happen, of course, because he is a celebrity with millions upon millions of fans. And you were, well, you. That wasn't a negative thing–you enjoyed yourself the way you were and would never want to be the one in the spotlight

But you couldn't deny that there was a difference between you and Jungkook

Not that you thought about him and you together while taking a nice selfcare bath yesterday. You totally didnt!

Fine, maybe you thought about it a little, but not for more than 5 minutes anyway...

Ugh, who could blame you? The man was smoking hot! But that didnt chance the fact that he was a total dick

So as you keep staring at him, not wanting to be the first to give up, Lia suddenly taps you on the shoulder, and you're compelled to.

"Uhm," she starts, biting her lower lip, making you anxious as you shift your whole focus to her.

Somethings up

Her blonde hair was longer than yesterday, you did remember her telling you she was getting extensions. They looked good. Her smile was usually contagious, but this time it looked...nervous–terrified

"Listen, don't be mad at me because I wasn't the one who suggested this, but-" she begins rambling, making you place your hands down on both her hsoulders

"calm down," you interrupt, a chuckle escaping your mouth, "what's wrong Lia?"

"They want you to replace Sana..." Lia exhales deeply. "For the whole rest of the week"

Your eyes widen in surprise as Lia's words hang in the air.

What...?

You stammer, unable to find the appropriate words...unable to think straight "wha-" you open your lps to speak, only to let out a little laugh. "You-"

"haha! You're messing with me!" You softly hit her delicate shoulder, shaking your head, some strands of hair falling out your bun "really lia you had me there for a second i really though-" you pause to laugh again, clutching your stomach, your manicured finger nails digging into the soft fabric of your hoodie "-i really thought you were for real for a second there" you laugh, scrunching up your nose, waiting for her to laugh as well. Clear up the joke and laugh with you.

But when she doesn't, her face staying serious, maybe even more nervous, your smile fades. "Youre fucking with me...right?" You repeat more, solemnly just for the purpose of giving her a last chance "Right?!" Panic starts to creep in.

Oh no

Oh no no no

You weren't about to jump in for Sana as the head stylist for one of your company's most critical shoots of the year.

This felt like your worst nightmare, you were dreaming right? That would make sense! You were dreaming! You were-

"Y/n" Lias voice brings you back to reality

Your gaze is drawn away from hers as she rests a reassuring hand on your shoulder, as if to say, 'you'll be OK,' but you aren't. And you werent going to be

"Listen, Sana is not stupid, you know how she loves to be prepared, I'm sure there's a sort of notebook in Jungkook's changing room with notes on the outfits for today," Lia tries to be as helpful as she can in order to calm you down. Qnd as you breathe and nod, she does a little

You were a confident person–you usually were! But having to be in charge of a whole shoot just might have sounded like your worst nightmare

"Oh my god," you say, your voice barely audible, filled with a mix of shock and horror. Your heart races as you try to find the words to explain the overwhelming feeling that has taken hold of you. Once again. It was like a cycle

"What?" Lia asks, her voice filled with concern, as if it weren't evident from your expression, and the current situation.

You take a deep breath, feeling your stomach turn with unease. "I think I'm going to throw up-" you manage to utter, your voice trembling. In a desperate attempt to shield Lia from whatever catastrophe may be about to come out your mouth, you quickly turn around, but in your motion, you face plant with something solid. Or, more precisely, someone.

"Are we ready for the shoot?"

Oh shit. What were the consequences of simply running out the venue now? Because, to be frank, you'd love to sink into the ground right this instant–once again

-

Opening your eyes, you're met with complete darkness. That's it. You've died. Your body couldn't handle it and gave up on you.

Dying of nervousness was not the way you imagined your life to end but-

However, as the person standing in front of you takes a step back, you finally get a chance to look up. Of course its other than Jeon Jungkook. "I asked if we're ready to start," he asks again, clearly annoyed, as he pokes the inside of his cheek–his piercings even more noticeable that way. Ah, stop it. Stop staring at him, y/n. You need to focus on the task at hand.

"W-were," you stammer, glancing at Lia, who merely nods frantically, her glasses almost falling off her face

"We- we have to wait for sana" you say looking back at lia, her brows raising as she shakes her head immediately. "I cant do this" you whisper

Sighing lia places her hand on your shoulder as she addresses Jungkook, whos already more than annoyed as he crosses his arms

"How about you get dressed first, and we do your makeup lastly?" she proposes clapping her hands together as she looks between the two of you. Jungkook merely nods "whatever" as he checks his phone. They needed to find another makeup artist right away, which wasn't difficult given that Lia had previously majored in it. Thank goodness for Lia. And thank God for Jake, who comes over and hands you a bottle of water as she leaves

You mouth a quick thank you, opening the bottle, smiling at him. Your hands are slightly trembling, which Jungkook notices. In fact, he never fails to notice any minor annoyance or perk you have. He takes note of every facial expression, every sigh, and murmur. It's as if he can tell and sense how you feel from a mile away. He doesn't know why–maybe its the fact that you called him an idiot that still bothers him, so you're all he can think about from the moment he arrives on set until he leaves. That makes perfect sense. Without a doubt. For. Sure.

Jungkook's gaze darts between you two, becoming darker by the second. You should be guiding him to the dressing room and assisting him by now. Not chatting with some wannabe photographer who couldnt get his angles righg

"I don't have all day," Jungkook says again, almost getting between you two, "let's go"

You stare at his back as he walks away, then at Jake, who sighs shaking his head "good luck" and grins sympathetically

"Thank you," you bite your bottom lip, nodding, "I'll need it."

-

You were about to give up only a few minutes ago, but now you merely shrug, swallowing those emotions–your pride and holding back those tears as you make your way behind Jungkook to his dressing room

He obviously got the big one, the one with the bright lights on the mirror and the luxury leather couch inside. Sometimes, you wish you could just fall asleep on it cause it looked quite cosy–it even had a heating option. Heaven

The room was designed for celebrities like him, not nameless models whose sole purpose was to showcase a new collection. No. This was Jeon Jungkook, and at the end of the day, no one cared about the damn clothes.

"Have you ever been in here?" He asks cynically, not really caring if you were or weren't, but his sigh at the end of the sentence told you everything you needed to know-he was irritated.

You tried not to care because at the end of the day you were only the stylist for the time being. And the remainder of the week. "I have," you simply respond after taking a deep breath and glancing around for some form of direction.

You thank the heavens when you spot Sana's all-too-familiar note book, opening it in relief. "Well," you nod, keeping two pages open and placing it on the dresser. "Shall we start?" You put on a fake smile as your gaze meets his. Yet falls when you catch him on his phone, as uninterested as ever.

You clear your throat again. "Shall we start-"

"I got it the first time, no need to catch an attitude." he adds as he throws his phone on the previously mentioned couch, where it bounces once and lands at the edge–almost falling. And while you might have been concerned that it would break, Jungkook couldn't care less.

Of course not, he could easily afford ten of them. One of the benefits of having an insane amount of money was being able to buy things without worrying about them leaving a denk in your bank account

Lucky fucker

You couldn't even imagine what it would be like to have even half of what he has. It would be nice. To be able to afford a flat in a better neighbourhood than your current one. But then again, youd would miss the nightly convenience store runs.

Your attention returns to him from the couch after you roll your eyes. What you don't expect is Jungkook to stand in front of the mirror–shirtless. "Well?"

Your gaze instinctively moves to his chest, taking in the sight of the chains covering his neck and the incredibly well defined muscles. When you move your eyes down, you can't help but notice his insanely perfect sculpted abs. You never meant to ogle, but there's no denying that this man has a very close built of a what youd imagine a greek god to look like. In fact, you find yourself easily believing he is one.

"Right," you mumble as you look behind him, your sight fixed on the heap of clothes. Your gaze is drawn to the black leather jacket that Sana had neatly sketched in her notebook. Bingo.

You stride towards it with confident steps, picking it from the pile and handing it to him without saying anything. "Now, let's see about what to wear underneath," you say, your fingers running over the large rack of clothes. "What are you thinking?" A bunch of colourful pieces attract your attention, but it makes no difference what you choose

Prioritising the client's desires was one of the first lessons you learned during fashion school. Your option is second, if not third.

You don't hesitate to hand him the leather slacks he's supposed to wear when you find them a little farther down the rack. You weren't a big fan of leather, on yourself or anyone else. So it's a good thing he wore those today. In some way, it might make you gag rather than attracted...right?

Maybe gag is a strong word

Moving on

Even if you looked unbothered or nonchalant, you were still nervous. There was a burning fire deep within the depts of your mind. If someone could look into your mind right now, it would seem like a scene from a horror movie, with people frantically racing about, yelling, and screaming

It's amusing that you look so cool on the surface, yet in realith, you were on the edge of crumbling at the smallest inconvenience. For example, the sheer thought of Jungkook dropping his pants would have been enough to drive you into a coma-

Wait

As you stare at him, your eyes widen. Stay calm. Keep cool. Maintain your professionalism.

Live, laugh, love

This is normal–how else would he be able to put on the pants youd just given him?

Jungkook chuckles. When he notices your humiliated face looking away, he fucking laughs.

However he decides not to tease you just yet. As he looks in the full length mirror, he admires his nearly finished outfit. "I'm supposed to wear boots with this," he says in a casual tone, not mocking you. Thank God.

"Right," you respond as you swallow and walk to the small cupboard where he placed his old clothes, stooping down to look for his boots before handing them to him. But before you can do any of that, your sight is drawn to the smalles flicker in the corner beneath it, and you frown. You slyly grab it–it probably belonged to Sana or someone else who left it here

The boots are chuncky and black and have some silver elements to it. Yup, definitely something hed wear–given that hed be a walking rockstar if he were to have chosen the muisc route

Jungkook adjusts his jacket in front of the mirror once he gets up–now looking a little taller than before. He nods once, sighing as he clicks his tongue and looks at you through the mirror–your gazes dont meet immediately as he catches you looking down at your hand. Your hair effortlessly falls into your face, covering most of it, but he can still catch the way your lips purse

Your gaze is drawn down to the little charm you just picked up. Small but significant–at least, that's what you'd like to believe. It was a pair of wings. They couldn't be a birds–they were too big, but they could be angels. That sounded a lot better. Angelwings.

You'd leave it in the lost and found before you left work today, whoever lost it must be looking for it.

For a little while, you consider...No. It couldn't have been his. It was completely unlike him.

Then again, you shouldn't be acting like you knew him

With a shrug of your shoulders you place it in your back pocket before looking up

You give a genuine smile this time. "I was thinking for your shirt we could-" you begin, looking around the room for the top that caught your eye earlier, but Jungkook interrupts

"I'm not wearing a shirt."

"Uhm," you turn to him, bewildered, fiddling with your fingers, "youre not?" You ask almost whispering, and this was the perfect time to slap your forehead.

What did this man do for you to suddenly be so quiet?

Blame it on the stress

You expect him to make fun of you, but all he does is shake his head. "This is good," he adds again as he adjusts his hair–black locks already looking perfect, there was simply no need to style it. But of course they would have to anyway "this is exactly what I hoped for."