Xxv.b: Destroyer,curiosity/admiration Would Go And As For Why Till Later. But She And I Were ... One

xxv.b: Destroyer, curiosity/admiration would go and as for why till later. But she and I were ... one and the same, we bonded over blood spilled often and easily, even if that bloodshed was of our own and inflicted damage from others or even each other towards one another, conversing over scars physical and mental like wartime soldiers. She to me … The Imp … the aggressive non-stop consistent barrage hate bearing, death-by-a-thousand-cuts warlord that always succeeded when given any task. For her I … The Destroyer … The control demanding, dominating force of destruction to any and all things, ready and capable of burning the world and its opposition to my rule, with a glance. However … it goes without saying, that when I shattered and fell, The Imp was not aware of such a change … in fact when she and I reunited … she analyzed me for a couple days without breaking the silence hidden in shadow, because she was understandably confused at the Red she was viewing, the Red that had become rather than what she had remembered … The Imp, hated, change … but in time she started to realize just how much I had altered and adapted, and as to why. She even applauded my efforts and called me a “Psychotic Gambler” that “Threw the god of all hail mary's and risked it all stupidly and only! by the worlds largest ever seen luck cash out for one person … did you succeed … never try that again because you'll certainly fail” or something like that … … … But, she was right … and in her analysis of me … She realized just how much she had changed, and how different life really was from the past to now, how many people had left us both and how memories had both turned more sour or sweet. It changed her and I both to rejoin and talk, especially about those fallen members of the past, and how The Cazbium itself was hijacked/eroded and decrepit, that our once grand empire … had fallen. Why I thought it so odd that she was located so close to The Over Garden, was because of how isolated she had been and why she chose the location she did, which realistically was an overpriced place that was far from everything, if not make things incredibly difficult to get to if she did wanna venture out to the places and experiences that were close by, it seemed like she wanted to change, in her coming back from her long isolation, but that she was in a way building walls or positioning herself downhill from her uphill goals, and for The Imp, like stated before, she was not restricted to this place to live, she could tomorrow up and move to anywhere she'd like, so it seemed uncharacteristic, it seemed off, because even if she were to change like I have, she would never purposely put herself in such a situation as she has, without very good reason. Why? I wondered … but it started to click to me her reasons, or more so, a reason, she liked to look down from the ivory tower that was her apartment, down into The Over Garden ... not in malice or to boost her ego of success and to belittle … no … because she liked to escape without actually leaving. The world had stabbed and tortured her every time she had left, every time she had made any venture out to change, probably why she hated the very thought of it … looking out that window and down on the real greenery that overcame the barriers of society, that gained control and power, that dominated … was something she sought after, that allowed her to escape her situation at least mentally, or at least, to find freedom even in a confined controlled space … life for The Imp however I believe, and I think she'd agree, is a lavish fully built world surrounded by nothing else but her devices/vices of enjoyment … which is great … however … a prison painted with rainbows ... is still a prison indeed. And sooner than later, we both knew it'd crush her to stay the way she was and has been living, so now as others do, I watch … but unlike others, I will not wait idol as vultures pick her life apart, to watch her diminish … [To Be Continued]

xxv.f: Destroyer, then watched as he sneezed, burped, and hiccupped all at the same time ... I played with him and put the collar around him, which he seemed not to mind much … time passes and dinner had been made, The Imp brings me a plate, sits next to me and turns on some random internet video over her TV “SCP-096 Documentary” and we begin to eat the Thai scallop sauté mixed with soft white rice and steamed broccoli covered in light dabs of soy sauce. “So … are you … ok?” Loaded question really “It's not supposed to be … ” well, I mean … I'm alive and still kickin ain't I? I'd say that's pretty good, wouldn't you? “*sigh* Stop … dodging the question. Come on … please?” *sigh* yeah … I'm ok, for the most part … just adjusting to a lot, trying to figure out more or less where I stand. “Where you stand? I hope you know, we're good … I care for you and I know you care for me, so you don't have to think, at least for me … that you're on the rocks or not important … I think about you more or less every day, at least once … so you know.” I had no doubts on us, or about you … and … Thank you, you mean a lot to me as well … especially now more than ever, you're important in ways I'd never be able to express to you Imp, not easily at least, especially with … my past transgressions and idiotic mistakes towards you, sorry again for it all btw, never meant to hurt you, just wanted to protect myself and others. *a smile and eyes as big as an Olympic swimming pool grew on her face* “Heheee! … Well … I … I-i don't really know what to say. I never expected … didn't think it possible for you to apologize to me … at least not the Red I used to know … and I get it you know, I'm sure you'd understand more than anyone what it's like to be treated as a monster or a threat … especially when in reality … you're just trying to love. I understand why you did what you did, I'd probably do the same if I was in the same situation, and had similar fears. It's ok, I forgive you.” Thank you … truly. I still feel responsible, however, a debt that must be repaid. “You weren't at fault … do you remember what you told me years ago at the lake? When we all gathered around for The Jesters' birthday party?” Um … I don't, no, what was it? “Never save those truths from the heart for a rainy day, lest you'll drown in regret … speak to everyone worth a damn” “like they're You” … anything other than that … is a shitty mask, keeping you from seeing what's really going on in the moment. “Yep! You got it … I thought about that for years, especially during college, there were plenty of times I just … would put on a mask or persona, and just kind of pretend I was something or someone I wasn't … every time I recognized that, I remembered that. I tried to just, stop and switch back to what I wanted to say/do and just move on … it helped a lot … thank you.” Thank you for telling me, what was your greater point to all that though? I don't follow sorry. “It's not your fault what you did … I think you maybe put on a mask because you didn't honestly remember how to deal with inner group conflict … and in the end … it ended up hurting me yes, but not because you were purposely doing so, or at least, not in a way that I know you were trying to … you as you said, were just trying to protect. You just forgot/maybe got caught up in the whole situation and made a few rash decisions. I mean … am I right?” You're absolutely right … I hadn't even honestly thought of it like that before, partially because I feel more or less like I'm not immune, but more so … less prone to those types of situations, it's hard to accept honestly, the realization that I slipped … part of that “adjusting” I was talking about … need to learn how I ticked … need to reestablish the order of operations and become … Old … again … haha, if that crazy nonsense even makes sense ... [To Be Continued]

xxvi.c: Son of Salem, But alas … he walks these streets as I do … this time armorless however … I should find him when possible, he might not be taking to the new world in his less guarded state as well as I think he can. Then there’s th … A person sits next to me and says in a feminine voice “You’ve been looking at the bottom of that glass like it owes you money, mind if I ask what’s on your mind?” I turn to look toward the voice, my eyes are met with a muscular red-headed woman with a left nostril fish hook piercing, two right eyebrow ring piercing side by side, and a full dahlia on her left ear. Not to mention … she was larger in proportion than most men & women, even without standing, she must have been easily six two, six three … she was a presence for sure. Oh, uh … yeah no, just thinking is all, didn't even realize I was death glaring my drink, I said with a chuckle. Mostly figuring out a plan to track someone down … gotta convince them to join me in my fight against this big old asshole that wants me dead. She grabbed her glass, shot the whole thing back, then slammed it down flat on the bar and said. “Woah! … who's this bad guy and why do they want you dead?” kind of hard to explain … very complicated mental gymnastics are happening at all times up here *I point to me head* so … the gist is I'm getting in the way of him killing me, well us. “Hmm … so he's suicidal? Wants to bring you down with him, why not report him?” him killing himself is killing me, he is me. “Oh! … you're like … crazy? Or high?” I laugh from her blatant brutal honesty. Yeah … you hit it the nail on it's head I suppose. “Haha, well … at least you can laugh about it, right?” Yeah guess so, nothing else to do except get Crazier, right? “Ha! Right … so, you from around here? The City that is?” Yeah, born and raised, Mega Building and all. “Neat, what exactly is there to do around here for fun other than drink and sulk” Ha, well … there’s the brain dances, to the drugs, to the partying, to the murder … lots … pick your poison … lest it picks you. “I see … and your poison?” I look from my glass at her in slow … still … figuring that one out really. “I see, and when things go a rye … which one of those you mentioned, do you see yourself going towards the most?” … hm … think I’m still figuring that one out, or trying to figure out if it’s even one of the ones listed … could be more you know? “So you're staying in a dangerous place like this then … why? Waiting for one of those things to happen to you so you can find out where you fit? Or die?” No, no … I just have the feeling and a nature a real sick one at that, to stick around in burning houses, seemingly awaiting something … someone. “… why?” can’t say … I just know that something is out there … and I gotta find it or them. One day this whole life I’ve lived will make sense … it has to. “I see … so you’re hopeful for something you’ve got no trust in huh?” sounds crazy I know, and no … I’m not religious … but I know I’m here for some strange and bizarre reason, if not a punishment for something I did I can’t remember. “I feel that … I personally am here to find someone as well … a little girl by the name of Elaine.” find her? “Wouldn’t be here if I had … no, sadly I think she might not be with me anymore … lost.” I see … and what was she like? “Kind … hands not stained in blood, or nearly as callused as mine … she was innocent.” Well … sounds like we both have someone to find then. I take a drink from my glass. “Seems so … You seem nice, calm. My name is … Roxy” She thrust her arm out palm open as to shake my hand. Oh. I do the same. Grab her hand and shake. Names Red, nice to meet you, Roxy. “Nice to meet you Red. Red … Rrrrred … Red Red.” What … what uh, what are you doing? “Putting your name to memory, gotta get it stuck in there so I remember” Oh … I'd assume it's easy to remember no? Three letters … pretty simple … also a color. “Yeah but can't be too sure, also I'm terrible with names so, I gotta REALLY cram them in my head or I'll forget.” ... [To Be Continued]

xxiv.c: Recompile, I yell for him to climb up my arm … he tries and slips, I grab his forearm in panic and pure instinct … he starts to slowly slip more and more down to my hand … he says … “God PLEASE … PLEASE I DON'T WANNA …” He slipped out of my hand and disappeared into the depths below… I stare in disbelief and shock at what just happened … I then snap out of my quick little trance, then go to stand, I grab onto the railing and shuffle and struggle walk towards the stairs leading up to the helm with the captain. I make my way up the stairs… and look over to my left, where this Black Beard looking figure was pointing and yelling around and at sailors, as to direct them in what to be doing, I walk up towards him, and in his madness and chaos … his gaze crosses me for a mere glance … then his eyes dart right back to me and all the color and expression leaves his face … then a terrified shock pours over him … he raises his arm and says to me “n-no … it can't be you … y-you died years ago” I yelled HUH?? Then the storm picked up again, I start to stumble and then BOOM lighting hits the back of the ship … knocking loose the rope that tied down the main boom … it came swinging with great force straight for me at a slight downward angle … it SLAMS right into my abdomen carrying me straight to the edge of the ship … busting right through the railing launching me overboard, I watched as the top of the shit grew in distance and my arms flailed in the wind of the fall … then boom … my back slammed into the rocky cold seas and then … darkness … I thought, was I dead? THEN LIGHT … I awoke … springing straight up with great force and speed from a resting position to a sitting position … OHH … What the Fucking FUCK!! ... I look around … I'm … I'm in a bathtub? Filled with blood, I'm covered in … blood, head to toe. I look at my arms and hands as they are covered in blood, so much so … some starts to drip off onto my lap. I look to my right and notice the curtain is fully drawn, I grab the edge and pull it open … it's a bathroom from a previous house … I stand up and step out of the tub, open the cabinet as to grab a towel … it was completely empty … great. I went to open the door and walk out into the hall … but … it was … it wasn't my house hallway… it was the hallway with its drab walls and flooring, I walked out from one of the doors in the wall … I walk out into the center of the hall … look all the way right down the hall … then all the way left down the hall … both just lead on infinitely into a black void. Then I hear a loud bang from behind me? I turned around quickly, the door to the bathroom had slammed shut? I go to open the door again … it was … locked… … … I … was speechless … I walk backwards to the center of the hall … turn to my right and start to just … walk … I walked and walked and walked… until then, I came across an intersection in the hall, an opening to a slightly larger room on the left side of the hall … it had a desk and a few lounge chairs against the wall with a little table with magazines … I walk over and pick up a magazine … soaking it with blood … it said on the front cover “Family, Friends … Rehab … your journey starts with Ascension” I put the magazine down. I looked towards the desk and there someone was, a woman dressed in an old-timey nurse outfit with stains all over … I walked up to the desk and she just stared looking straight forward at the upper wall in the oak desk … she had this … fucking god-awful gleaming smile … and bulging eyes … Hello? ... can you help me please? I don't really know what's going on, haha. No response … uh hey! *I wave my hand in front of her face* still nothing … then I noticed a little sign in front of a bell that read “Ring for Service” … … … I think, it's worth a shot … so I ring the bell and INSTANTLY Her head twitches to face me and she says “The Dr will see you right away … Just go in through the doors on the right please!” I look to my right and there now are two double doors that look like hospital doors that were not there before … [To Be Continued]

xxvi.g: Son of Salem, that drug lord has signed his death warrant *Bzzz* I can’t believe … I can’t believe I’m alive … the trash must have broken my fall, why didn’t they come and check if I was dead? What kind of lackluster effort was this shit? *Bzzz* I try to move … It sends shooting pain all across my body, it felt like I was wrapped in a web of pain for a mere second … *Bzzz* Come On!! Please!!!!! You have to pick up … I need you more now than ever *Bzzz* My face … goes dead in shock … my chest starts to sink, eyes start to dim with … fear. *Bzzz* No … no … please not now. *Bzzz* ... ... ... “you have reached the voice mailbox of … ” *click* I end the call. … … … I sink into the trash and water … looking up at the clouds as the rain falls and hits my face now like little missiles, for the rain picks up in intensity slightly. My jaw … starts to shake … my eyes start to fill with water, not brought by the rain … that sinking feeling now is so heavy, it might as well have been an elephant sitting on my chest. I start to weep … then cry … then let it all out as if no one could hear nor see my pains. I think to myself, now as tears run like rapids down my face. Oh … so this was the grand setup, wasn’t it? This was the oh-so-awaited karma payout that was waiting for me, this was the feather that broke the camel's back … is this really what I deserve? Is it my fault something like this did happen? Did my luck finally run dry? Was I careless … was I not accommodating … I was always told I was robotic in nature, always trying to figure out others … but was this the punishment that I deserved? To be left here in a canal surrounded by trash and dirty rainwater … to die now? Of all times why now? … My stress … and heartache … overwhelmed me and triggered the ill-fated passenger that had haunted me from birth … Cataplexy … I pass out. … … … It was strange, although I slept … I had never felt closer to that beating heartbeat that I strayed away from for so long, my entire life. I could feel it … it wept … it cried … I could feel as its warmth engulfed me in this empty space of abyss. I awake … I hear … footsteps trenching through the water … then I hear what sounds like someone dancing in and kicking the water around … then I hear … laughter. “HAHAHAHAHAAAAA” That voice … sounded familiar, but I could not pin it. The footsteps grow closer and closer until … Scarlet Red horns peak from the outside of my vision in … slowly … then white, ashen hair *BOOM* lightning can be heard. Then a forehead then eyebrows then … golden framed, red-tinted, glowing in crimson circular glassed, glasses. A shiver gets sent through my entire body. Then a nose then a … then a … devilish grin … then the fuller picture. “Why … hello there … having some issues?” He giggles under his breath in a dark and evil way. My eyes widen … my heart stops … my past faces me. No. I said with great struggle and fear. He removes the glasses to reveal, glowing pinkish-red eyes. He tucks them away in his pocket. “What!? Hahahaaaa … not happy to see me?” I struggle but try and move again … I jolt around but my legs still refuse to move. He laughs again, this time louder. “Well look at that!!!!! … all these years you’ve been runnin … and all it took was for you to break those little legs of yours for us to finally sit down and talk! … if I would have known that sooner, I would have wished for a bus to flatten you.” NO!!!! NO!! Stay the FUCK away from me. I struggle and struggle some more … then … I stop almost completely as if I were frozen. “Aww … what? … scared?” The man that stood above me … the devil … the careless, the heartless, and the damned. The last shard I wanted to face … was … The Son of Salem. *BOOM* Dressed in a white tight-fitted dress shirt, tucked into black jeans, while wearing a black tie, and black boots. Why now!? How’d you find me? “Oh dearest old friend … why not now? How could I Not! find you … you glow like a Fucking disco ball when hurt … it’s like a damn neon sign that says … HELP ME” No that’s NOT TRUE ... [To Be Continued]

xxiv.d: Recompile, that look like hospital doors that were not there before … I say ok, and walk to the doors, and step through … where I'm now in a small doctor's room. I go and sit up on one of those examination bed things that are typically in family doctor's offices … I waited for about 10 mins then … a doctor came in, she didn't seem off or perturbed by anything … she sat down in her bar-like rolling seat and started entering data into her computer, then she walked over and said “You've been malfunctioning again … we're gonna need to probably put you back on the medication” What? What medication … my Narcolepsy Meds? “We'll start you with a higher dose this time, then gradually lean you off when we've seen significant progress” Wait, wait … hold on what medication? Why am I hear? “*Sigh* hey just remember something would you?” Huh? “Someone thinks they can shelve you and come back later … someone thinks you have to be contained and conquered … someone is truly after your heart … don't fuck up and let the first two ruin your life, just deny, take what you've learned and try and remember what you lost … then … do what you do best.” What I do best? ... A Loud bang filled my ears, the lights went out, and then … I woke up … it was morning and cold, the fire went out clearly … there was something on my face? little feets? I jolt up … and flying off of me was a little Baby Racoon … Oh? Sorry buddy … didn't mean to scare you … he reminded me of the little raccoons I used to feed next to my old workplace after hours by the dumpsters, he reeled back and hissed, I raised my hand up palm down facing the little guy … Woah woah … hey calm now … I reached into my little burlap bag I found late last night while gathering fire supplies. I grab out a little granola bar and open it, offering it to him … he calms himself and his hair which was all stood up, starts to fall … he slowly approaches me … takes a sniff, and then with his tiny hands grabs a little bite-sized bunch of granola and started to chow down while keeping his vision affixed on me. I slowly sit down … and offer up more and more, he slowly gets closer and closer until he is resting in my lap … he was only about the size of my hand, I slowly pet him while he nibbles and chows down … [To Be Continued]