To Celebrate The Audiobook Coming Out, Heres A 100% Authentic Excerpt From The Illusion Of Living:

To celebrate the audiobook coming out, here’s a 100% authentic excerpt from the Illusion of Living:

It was a good day, because Henry wasn’t there. I was on my way to a party that Henry wasn’t invited to. It was a party only for true geniuses, such as myself and my good friend Nathan, who is a good friend of mine.

When I got to the party, I took a moment to appreciate the fact that none of the guests there were Henry. There were some hets in the corner doing gross het stuff, so I quickly walked as far away from them as I could. I went to my good friend, Nathan, and we had a brief conversation, where I was telling him about how happy I am that Henry left the studio. (Nate A: he was crying on my shoulder about it XD what a loser! )

And then I saw him.

It was my old friend Sammy, playing piano the way no one else (certainly not Henry) could. I went up to him and we had the following conversation:

“I am so lucky to have you, Sammy! You’re my best friend.”

“Sure.”

“You’re so brilliant and talented”, I continued, “totally unlike a certain guy I once knew.”

“Thanks.”

“You’re the only man, who can truly understand me.”

“…”

“I worship you, Sammy! You are a God to me! People should be falling to their knees before you! I wish you would worship me as I worship you! No homo, though!” (Nate A: I don’t remember him adding that last part)

“Go home, Joey, you’re drunk.”

I wasn’t really drunk. (Nate A: he was drunk af)  I was going to continue my train of thought, but then I suddenly noticed someone coming towards us.

It was a woman.

I instantly froze in fear. She wanted me, I could tell. She smiled right at me. She wanted my body and there was nothing that would stop her from getting it.

So I did the only reasonable thing in this situation: I screamed like a maniac and jumped off the 3rd floor window.

There was a group of preschoolers walking below, so I had a soft landing. I brushed off shards of glass from my shoulder onto their bleeding bodies underneath, feeling proud of myself.

I went back home, thinking to myself about how nothing is real, and everyone around me is a fictional character in a video game.

Fuck you, Henry.

Temples are built for gods. Knowing this a farmer builds a small temple to see what kind of god turns up.

happy pride month from your local organization of very trustworthy people

This is so random but I wanna see Spot and Lyla interact. I feel like they would have a fun dynamic

I feel like a broken record but since yet another movie with a Black lead and a mostly poc supporting cast has dropped, let me reiterate. If someone informs you that you wrote or drew a character in a racist way, your job is to apologize and fix it. That's it and that's all.