Sai: Im Glad Youre Back Sasuke, Everyone Else Is So Happy Now. Anyway I Was Thinking Since We Dont Really

sai: i’m glad you’re back sasuke, everyone else is so happy now. anyway i was thinking since we don’t really know each other we should spend some time together. i’ve been told i’m inept at most things so maybe you could teach me to cook or—

sasuke: you think i know how to cook?

~~~

sai and sasuke: *banging on sakura’s door at 1 am* could you help us learn to cook

sakura who only eats hospital food and makes medicine: teach you to what now

~~~

sai, sasuke, and sakura: can you teach us to cook?

yamato who was basically a test tube for most of his life and still doesn’t even quite get how people work: uhhh….

~~~

sai, sasuke, sakura, yamato desperately: please tell us you know how to cook

kakashi: yeah

everyone: *sigh of relief*

kakashi: but i only cook toast it’s all i know how to make so it’s the only thing i eat

~~~

the entirety of team seven completely hopeless: naruto there’s no way you know how to cook right?

naruto who has practically been left alone and self-sufficient since he was a baby: of course i know how to cook

yamato: is this like an only cup ramen thing or…?

naruto: no? i know i’m bad at stuff sometimes but cooking is a basic skill, none of you know how to cook? even the basics??

everyone else:

naruto: alright i’ll help. i already taught kurama to cook for days i don’t feel like it so teaching you guys should be easy. i’m not paying for all the groceries though.

kakashi: you what??

naruto: i’m not paying for groceries now hurry up and come in before i change my mind.

LGBT+ Fantasy/Fiction Books and TWs

1. Carry On by Rainbow Rowell-

(Fantasy, Witches, Vampires, kind of Harry Potter-y, Romance, TW for mention of suicidal ideation/self-destructiveness, abandonment, foster care, neglect, murder/violence, gun violence and relationship issues in the second book. It has some heavy topics but is written in a pretty light tone.)

2. Red White and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston-

(enemies to lovers, about the son of the President and the Prince of England getting into a fight, they have to fake a friendship to fix their PR situation, TW for being publicly outed and semi-graphic sex scenes, also often politically charged discussions)

3. Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller-

(Ancient Greece, demigods, exile, TW for war/violence and tragedy, homophobia, bad parenting)

4. The Foxhole Court by Nora Sakavic-

(It’s about the mafia/college sports and happens to have a compelling queer storyline in the process. Demisexual main character and other gay characters. (slow burn, it’s a trilogy and the romance doesn’t happen in the first book) TW for a lot of things, it’s about kids from broken homes and the mafia so there is abuse, self harm, murder, police intervention, organized crime, drug use, assault, rehab, all kinds of weapons, manipulation, slurs, etc. The second book has mentions of r*pe (not extremely graphic but it is mentioned a handful of times and there is one semi graphic scene), and torture. It is a great series but it has heavy content and is not light reading if you go in unprepared.)

5. The House on the Cerulean Sea by TJ Klune -

(MLM, fantasy, found family, heartwarming romance, magical creatures)

6. Heartstopper by Alice Oseman-

(MLM, graphic novel, slow burn, coming out TW for anorexia, self harm, suicidal ideation, homophobia)

7. The Raven Cycle by Maggie Stiefvater-

(Fantasy, about a secret private school, slow burn)

8. They Both Die at the End by Adam Silvera-

(Bisexual Latino characters, whole story takes place in 24 hours because at about midnight- aka the start of the book- they get a phone call saying they’re gonna die, TW for death, family in hospital, violence, police intervention, and foster care)

9. Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo-

(queer characters (but no romance in the first book, TW for graphic depictions of violence, ableism, mention of abuse, mention of sexual slavery and assault, imprisonment)

10. The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee (Historical Fiction Romance, Travel/Journey, Best Friends to lovers, MLM characters. TW for abuse, homophobia, racism, suicidal ideation, alcoholism, depiction of epileptic seizures, gun violence, and discussion of insane asylums)

11. In Deeper Waters by FT Lukens-

(Royalty, kidnapping, MLM characters not being released until April but it looks great)

12. Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Sáenz-

(coming of age story, MLM, TW for violence/injury, surgery, transmisogyny, homophobic violence)

14. We Contain Multitudes by Sarah Henstra-

(coming of age, friendship and romance)

15. Love and Other Curses by Michael Thomas Ford-

(magical realism, a curse about falling in love)

16. More Happy than Not by Adam Silvera-

(MLM main character, YA, “it's about a boy who is considering a memory-alteration procedure to forget he's gay because leading a life as a straight teen would probably be way easier for him. It's about science versus nature, friendship, sexuality, and a quest for happiness.” About the happy ending and how even bad moments lead to good. Hopeful but despairing. TW for medical procedure to erase sexuality, internalized homophobia, homophobia from others, depression)

17. I Wish You All the Best by Mason Deaver-

(Nonbinary main character, nonbinary muslim side character, romance/love and building a family out of people you care about. About finding your voice. TW for coming out and misgendering, family rejection/struggle)

18. We Are Okay by Nina LaCour-

(WLW, moving out and coming of age, self-discovery and childhood romance, TW for loss, depression, loneliness)

19. The Rest of Us Just Live Here by Patrick Ness-

(Contemporary, about the normal people’s lives while living among Chosen Ones. Family/coming of age/acceptance story. TW for monsters, apocalypse, violence/explosions, anorexia, anxiety attacks, unrequited romance)

20. Lizard Radio by Pat Schmatz-

(Dystopian story about a teenager struggling with their gender identity, TW for abandonment, oppressive government, outlawed homosexuality)

21. Cemetery Boys by Aiden Thomas-

(trans main character, hispanic characters, paranormal YA mystery with MLM characters)

22. Captive Prince by C.S. Pacat-

(Bisexual main character, TW for kidnapping/stockholm syndrome, abuse, sex scenes)

23. Witch Eyes by Scott Tracey-

(fantasy, MLM, supernatural)

24. Simon vs the Homosapiens Agenda by Becki Albertalli-

(romance, MLM, coming of age, TW for a closeted boy being blackmailed)

25. Fun Home by Alison Bechdel-

(WLW, graphic novel, coming of age, TW for csa, pedophilia, teacher/student relationships, none explicit if my memory serves correct)

26. George by Alex Gino-

(Trans girl, slice of life, coming out story, TW for deadnaming, homophobia, transphobia)

27. Afterworlds by Scott Westerfield-

(WLW, supernatural, fantasy)

28. Witchmark by C.L. Polk-

(MLM, Sci-Fi/Fantasy, mystery, Alternate universe post WW1, TW for murder/war, depression/angst)

29. The Luminous Dead by Caitlin Starling-

(WLW, Sci-Fi Horror, dystopian future, fictional planet, TW for psychological/emotional horror, toxic relationship, death)

30. The Culling by Steven Dos Santos-

(MLM, Dystopian Fantasy under a totalitarian, extremely cruel government. People must undergo ‘the trials’ in order to work for a government task force- if you fail at any of the trials you are forced to participate in the Culling, where the member has to choose a family member of theirs to die. TW for death, extortion, brutal violence, murder, totalitarian government)

31. Deposing Nathan by Zack Smedley-

(MLM, about a court case regarding the main character and his best friend- deals with breaking points in friendships and how people and perception change. TW for biphobia, gay bashing, legal trial, abuse, knives, violence)

32. Ziggy, Stardust, and Me by James Brandon-

(MLM, Gay main character, historical fiction (Vietnam war), about a character dealing with his alcoholic father and family issues who creates a fictional world to cope where he can be out and openly himself. Coming of age. TW for bullying, alcoholism, institutionalized homophobia, familial homophobia, conversion therapy, war mentions)

(this list is a WIP and anyone can add to it! If I need to add TWs or further explanations let me know!)

Meanwhile, on Twitter:

Brain farts, a thread

what a week huh?

😳

I live my life under the basic principle that people know their minds, bodies, genders, and orientations better than I do so I just take them at their word when they say they are a thing.