Riko :: What If

riko :: what if

“Finally a stranger steps forward to introduce himself and his team of psychiatrists. The university has brought in counselors, he says. The university has called their parents. The university is closing the Nest.”

What if instead of being killed, what if Riko was alive when Tetsuji stepped down? What if he was there with the other ravens, watching Jasmine break a tv and dragged away? What if he lived?

Would it have been better? Would he have survived? Could he?

the university is closing the nest.

ichirou doesn’t want him. neither does tetsuji.

the university is closing the nest.

intensive therapy is required for him, but it’s hard, because he’s in his twenties now, they don’t say it but he knows the therapists and social workers he meets with don’t have high hopes for him to make a full recovery. too old they say, he was in there too long, it’s a miracle he is still alive

theuniversityisclosingthenest.

exy is all he knows and it’s stripped away; no one wants the raven captain on their team, not after the news articles. not after the interviews. he’s a risk, they say, a liability, he’s clearly unstable, they can’t keep someone like him in line, after all, those from the nest are damaged goods, he is not worth the effort

theuniversityisclosingthenest.

he was not abused; everything that happened to him was for a reason, he argues, he is better because of it, he would not be perfect court would not be captain would not be himself if he wasn’t; he gets violent, lashing out, getting cruel when the therapist asks him if he thinks it was worth it

what does she mean? being the best will always be worth it, there is nothing for him if it’s not number one

when she asks if being so afraid was worth being the best, he has no response

the university is closing the nest.

his body has been absorbing trauma since he was born; he had exy to help expel it, it kept him from crumbling to pieces, it was easy to believe that what was done to him was because he was a Son of Exy, that the pain and suffering was birthright because he would win Olympic gold and all the trauma is justified if it makes you better, stronger, makes you able to take a hit and by god he knew how to take a hit and he learned how to make his own count and he made sure his ravens knew it too because if his bite could not drown out his bark he would not survive

even after kevin abandoned him, when tetusji made sure that he was more blood and bruises than skin, he picked up his pieces and came back a thunderstorm of his own making because exy was a birthright no one could take from him, he would survive without kevin, he had to

the university is closing the nest

he is a villain but not entirely of his own creation, he was molded into hatred and fed pain instead of love; he is at fault for everything he’s done but what was done to him was not his fault, it is a hard pill to swallow; the pain he considered birthright was a lie, and not for the first time, the 1 on his cheek itches to be sliced off; once he understands what his therapist is saying, a woman who specializes in cult survivors, he chokes

he could’ve been different. it could’ve been different. he had dished out to others what he was trying to outrun. biting the hand that touched him was out of the question, so he turned rabid on those around him, becoming the very thing he himself was afraid of.

you are not tetsuji the therapist says

aren’t I? is his reply

the university is closing the Nest.

failed ravens have a tendency to commit suicide

Jean Moreau be like Neil Josten was supposed to be my best friend and I consider that loss to be one of the worst things that ever happened to me. He's one of the select few who I trust to take me and my problems seriously and make good on his promises to me. Unfortunately he is also the fucking antichrist and everything he does is calibrated to spike my blood pressure.

Old Sex Pal scratch

look. does she hate herself for what she is? absolutely. does she doubt herself on her abilities, necromantic or romantic? no. she is simply confident in her ability to pull tail. if she had an ounce of communication skills many situations that happened would have been cleared up, but she doesn't so we have what we have.

harrow definitely thought they were like dating and in love after the pool scene meanwhile gideon is like shit she’s in love with a dead body not me i guess i’ll kill myself (for her)

I know, I know we all hate Riko and Zane and Grayson but I just need to say that the way Nora wrote them is unbelievably amazing. Yes, they're monsters we hate but they're also human.

Riko has done unspeakable things to hurt people and yet he couldn't bring himself to kill Wymack because he was the father that he had always wanted but never got and he couldn't kill him even to take him from Kevin. Zane betrayed Jean for a number but he had loved Colleen, hadn't he? He had loved Colleen to the point of destruction. And Grayson? If he had always been Grayson Johnson, Riko's Lackey and Monster Extraordinaire, Lucas wouldn't be so torn up about losing him.

They've committed atrocities on characters we love but they're not just one-dimensional cartoon monsters, pure evil. They have/had capacity for care, for love in them and that just makes their villainy that much worse because what made Jean, what made Neil, what made Andrew, what made anyone they hurt undeserving of their humanity?

op tags are good too

man all the foxes had hard lives but sometimes when i sit down and think about kevin i'm like damn this person wasn't even in the same playing field as his teammates. he was raised captive in a cult and violently forced into extreme child labor up until the day he left?! he was thrust into the spotlight at an early age and had every movement of his life meticulously choreographed?! he was raised to depend on a master x pet relationship with one of his captors?! he literally could not move a step without riko's acknowledgement?! the labor violations only would give a labor lawyer years of work. can you imagine if we talked about all the other different kinds of extensive abuse too