It's Harder To Stab When You're Being Punched In The Face

It's Harder to Stab When You're Being Punched in the Face

Peruse, if you will, what I believe is one of the first press releases from the Harris campaign, released after a Fox News appearance by Donald Trump earlier today: Two points to make here. The first is that not only are the gloves off, they were never on in the first place. The second is that one advantage that the GOP had in the last two election cycles — the presumption that the Democrats…

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@re-dracula

Skeleton ship captain from the Castle Dracula boat ride that once stood in Wildwood, NJ.

postcard c1910

I shall pass through this world but once, any good thing therefore I can do, or any kindness I can show to any human being, let me do it now, let me not defer it or neglect it for I shall not pass this way again.

Gender goals.

Perfect.

Okay but you COULD do a Dracula episode of Leverage and it would be hilarious.

I would do it like this. We'd have some wrong place wrong time protagonist called Jonathan who keeps accidentally witnessing parts of the con in such a way that they appear to him to replicate the events of Dracula. Like, the crew has inhabited some castle but Oh No, the mark's innocent little lawyer man is here, can't let him catch on

Sophie yeets the mirror because our friend Jonathan is about to accidentally see the crew hard at work behind him and she panics. "Oh you don't need this honey" or whatever (something something man's vanity)

He happens to open the window and Parker is just climing the castle like a lizard because that's. What she does

Nate is in an Old Guy disguise for one part of the con, but then Jonathan Not In On It happens to see him out of costume and WTF WTF WHY IS HE GETTING YOUNGER

Letters with fake dates make perfect sense when it's a con

Gets home happens to see the Leverage crew just walking around for the next part of the con, freaks tf out

Quincey Morris is exactly the kind if character Eliot would play

Sophie gets made, decides to have an elaborate Death Scene wherein Elliot and Hardison (as a "definitely licensed doctor") "help" the Mark try to "save" her

Parker plays Hardison's "assistant" but she plays it very VERY Renfield. Jonathan swears he can see her eating bugs (maybe it's a com that she panics and pretends to eat to not give away the game)

Poor Jonathan again sees her up and about post death scene and is like WTF WTF WTF

Eventually they cotton on to what has happened and Elliot (who hasn't been made yet) promises to help Jonathan kill the vampire once and for all

All of their aliases are drawn from Dracula and this is not played as intentional in-universe

Anyway, the whole thrust is that it's a perfectly normal Leverage episode except for one guy who, due to an increasingly unfortunate series of coincidences, believes he is in the novel Dracula. Like Rear Window, only it's Leverage Dracula.

Sharing the joy.