squigglewigglewoo - dumme schlampe
dumme schlampe

above eighteen ✧ main blog ✧ she/they

170 posts

I Cant Fix Him But I Could Fuck Him.

I can’t fix him but I could fuck him.

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More Posts from Squigglewigglewoo

10 months ago
I Don't Know How I Got Such A Definite Chaotic Evil Answer, But Here We Are

I don't know how I got such a definite chaotic evil answer, but here we are

anyways, this was so cute!! thank you for the tag, the character was adorable and I loved all the little critters.

tags- @rusmii @muddyswampboy and anyone else who wants to join.

I Don't Know How I Got Such A Definite Chaotic Evil Answer, But Here We Are
 Quiz + Picrew : Your Inner Adventurer
 Quiz + Picrew : Your Inner Adventurer

🌘 quiz + picrew : your inner adventurer

thank you for the tag @minniiaa, loved it! the result does sound like me! you can notice my two magical bunnies, always with me no matter the trouble

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let's start a picrew chain! tagging @simandy @void-imp @tenyrasims @o0corruptedghoul0o @plumbewb @venriliz @simatomica @simarcana @bobapplesimblr @matchalovertrait @vercosims @slightly-ludic @cinamun @swallowprettybird @stellarfalls @nefarrilou @groovetrys @youredreamingofroo @lilamausmaus @eljeebee @mobwhim @salemssimblr @pralinesims @ciblur @changingplumbob @theosconfessions @madfeary @igotsnothing @blerdytrait @flovoid @ktysh and everyone who sees it! as always feel free to ignore. love u guys

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8 months ago

Where Your Feet Pass [2]

general masterlist | taglist | series masterlist

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick x Pregnant!Reader

nothing but bets and wagers

cw: depression, stress, medical situations, sexism, minor hurt, minor comfort

wc: 4.4k

Where Your Feet Pass [2]

You miss waking up to the scent of coffee. 

There was nothing better than sliding out of bed and slinking off into the kitchen, still blinking the sleep from your eyes, where you would quickly be greeted by a fresh caffeine rush. Invigorating. Tantalizing. A delicious, earthy roast would coat your tongue as you savored the warmth of the mug seeping into the palm of your hands. Birds would chirp outside the window as your husband would approach you from behind where loving arms would wrap around your waist. Soft lips on your earlobe. A whispered promise. Rough stubble against your jaw. 

It’s all a sour memory now — something that makes your stomach twist and flutter, and it’s not due to the tiny life growing inside of you. Now, you wake up in an empty bed. The only aroma that greets you is the strange mixture of a stuffy room and the rotten city air that drifts through your open bedroom window. Stale. Decaying. Getting out of bed is difficult now that you don’t have anything to look forward to. If it weren’t for the growing weight on your bladder, and your eighteen week ultrasound appointment, you probably wouldn’t have gotten out of bed at all today. 

Fresh cut flowers greet you as you exit your bedroom, and their blooms attempt to fight off the stale scent of your new apartment. They’re a beautiful gift from your supervisor, Lilah, that you received yesterday afternoon — complete with a get well soon card and everything. Curly handwriting. Soft, vibrant petals. They’re the only bit of color that exists in your otherwise pale and barren kitchen. You try to use it as a reminder to stay calm and positive; it’s certainly a better reminder than the hospital discharge papers you had sitting there previously. 

The last week has been rough. More than rough. Despite your best efforts at decorating, your new apartment has become a prison. White cell walls — stuck in solitary confinement. Alone with your vicious thoughts. There’s nothing more in the world that you want other than to just go outside and enjoy the new summer weather, but with the way your hormones and emotions have been treating you, you’ve realized that’s not the best idea. If you go to the market and see a sweet husband with his kids one more time, you don’t think you’ll ever recover. 

What was supposed to be you on a wonderful, calming medical leave has quickly turned into terrible, lonely self isolation. 

No matter; everything feels less lonesome when you’re surrounded by good art. Or, maybe you’re still alone, but the colorful paintings you’ve spent half the morning hanging up in your studio are at least a bit comforting. That’s why it’s created, isn’t it? Not only to convey emotion and share a story, but ultimately to make the painter feel less alone? Brilliant turquoise water and soft lilac flowers; Monet’s work has been some of your favorites for as long as you can remember. It certainly brightens up the room, at least. You’re sure you remembered reading somewhere in your lease that you weren’t supposed to use nails to hang things up, but at this point you don’t care. If you get charged extra, you’ll just take it out of Isaac’s account. 

Lord knows the bastard can afford it. 

All goes well until you’re trying to hang up The Water Lily Pond. The minimal amount of nails you were able to steal from your soon-to-be-ex-husband have run dry, and you’ve still got more paintings to hang. Its ethereal bridge and rippling river will have to wait to be displayed in all its printed glory. No matter. You’ve got to get headed out for your appointment anyway, and maybe on your way back you can pick some up at a hardware store. 

That thought makes you pause, and you stop in the center of your half decorated room. Your tongue shrivels up in your mouth. Prunes. Cracks. Turns to a dust that threatens to choke you. Maybe you’d be better off asking someone if they have extras instead. 

There’s not much for you to write on. Just simple scraps of paper and old hospital papers you keep around yet can’t stand to look at anymore. You blindly rip off the corners of one of these spare pages and quickly jot down your message: 

Hey, do you have any extra nails you’re willing to part with? 

- 209

You don’t bother to sign off with your name. You doubt anyone remembers it, anyway, and your apartment number is plenty recognizable. All packed and prepared for your appointment, you make a quick drop by apartment 205 and slide it under Grandma’s door. You’re not sure if an old lady like her would even have what you’re looking for, but between her and Kyle, she’s certainly the less embarrassing one to ask. As soon as that slip of paper is out of sight, you turn on your heels, walk to the end of the hallway — bypassing the still broken lift — and try not to think about anything. 

It’s something you fail at. Miserably. Clear mind turns foggy, you think of everything. How stuffy the bus is. How the perfume the receptionist is wearing makes your stomach upset. Synthetic. Strong. How dark the ultrasound room is. The hum of the machines. The warmth from the computer. There’s something sharp that itches your skin in the gown they have you change into, and you don’t like the feeling of the warm gel sliding along your stomach. The tech is putting too much pressure on your stomach. It’s uncomfortable. Pressing. You want someone to hold your hand. 

Someone should be holding your hand, but you’re alone. Even though you know it’s better that way — isolated in that room, abandoned — it doesn’t ease the sting. A wave of thoughts wash over you in a salty assault as you wonder what it would have been like if Isaac was there. If he still loved you. If he hadn’t broken you the way that he did. Would his eyes light up at that black and white screen? Would he talk about how proud he is of you? It’s a voracious want — to be loved in the way you always thought you were; the way you should be. 

“Would you like to know the gender?” 

Gentle and soft, the tech’s voice pulls you out of your mind and you’re brought back to that dark room. Her eyes are trained on the screen as she taps away, taking measurements and tracking progress, yet they flicker over to you, waiting for your answer. 

The lump that’s been forming in your throat all morning snakes down your throat painfully slow as you swallow. Before he had decided to get his dick wet, Isaac had insisted that the two of you do a proper gender reveal. Neither of you would find out the gender until later. He’d order catering, invite — mostly his — family; there would be pictures and glorious celebration. Proper excitement for the life the two of you would welcome into the world in a few months —

But now…

“Please,” you say with a smile. 

But now, it’s just you.

Giddy, the tech carefully turns the monitor towards you while trying to maintain her angle on your stomach. She’s still pressing vexingly hard on your bladder, but you try not to think about it as you take in the sight of your unborn child as the image pulses on the screen. Dancing in fluid, the little blip floats across the screen with still forming appendages and round head. They’re still surprisingly small for how much room they’re taking up; rearranging your organs, pushing out so terribly on your stomach. Your throat constricts. This is your child. 

Yours, and only yours.

“This is the head here, as I’m sure you guessed,” she continues, finger carefully ghosting over the monitor. “Arms, legs, torso… properly formed skull, kidneys look good, lungs are coming in nicely… missing those extra bits, so I’m happy to tell you that you’ve got a healthy little girl cooking in there.” 

A girl. 

You watch her on the screen. Moisture pricks the corners of your eyes, makes them sting bitterly. How joy can elicit such odd pain is beyond you, but you ignore it in favor of attempting to savor the moment. Her legs kick, and you feel that flutter inside of you. Butterfly wings. Gentle rain on glass. You smile, and it’s just as bitter as everything else brewing inside of you, but your laugh smothers it with honey. 

“You’ll let me keep prints, right?” you ask.

The technician nods her head, and ignores the way your voice cracks. “Of course. I’ll print several copies for friends and family, if you’d like?”

“Please.” 

Maybe Grandma will take a copy. 

This tiny being caught on black and white film is the only thing you can focus on. Even as your OB rattles off about keeping your stress levels down and increasing your potassium intake; your daughter is the only thing you can see. She’s all that matters. Your doctor talks about how high risk you are, and you’re busy counting fingers. There’s concern about your health after you ended up in the hospital a few weeks back, and her words fall on deaf ears. She mentions bed rest, and you’re comparing the size of your daughter's head to the palm of your hand. Small. Impossibly tiny. Still growing. Alluring. 

Your baby girl is beautiful already. 

Once you’ve made your next appointment for four weeks out, you head back home with a weight lifted off your shoulders. There’s still something insidious lurking around the corner. Tethering you to some pole. Pulling at your feet as you walk up the stairs next to the broken lift. It’s always there. Somewhere hidden. Something unnamed. You ignore it as you open your door and check to see if Grandma has answered your note yet. There’s no sort of response from her, and judging by the fact she’s not in her usual perch in the enclave in the hallway, you imagine she’s out and about doing… old lady things. 

Maybe she’s got a family, which is more than you can say for yourself at the moment.

Regardless, you have no interest in decorating the rest of your studio anymore; not when you have the greatest work of art in the palm of your hands. Gentle fragrance washes over you as you enter your kitchen and place the ultrasound photos next to your vase of flowers. You giggle to yourself. What a perfect little shrine. Not even born yet, and you’re already decorating your devotion to her. 

Now, you can plan. Put your energy toward something more rewarding than stressing or self depreciation. There are outfits to be bought, essentials to stock up on; names. Beautiful names, regal names, lovable names. Names you get to coo at night when she’s wanting to feed; a name that rolls off of your tongue as you call for her when she’s older. Your lips curl into a trembling smile as your thumb rubs over the smooth surface of the sonogram. You are terrified, but you are so in love. 

Then your eyes wander — because they always do — around the counter. That same, pale lettering on the card your supervisor gave you stares back at you like an omen. Haunting. Get well soon! Your throat tightens as your smile fades, and you remember that you’re living in a delusion. What happiness is there to be found carrying the child of a man who couldn’t stay faithful? Or at least not fuck another woman in your shared bed? 

With your mood already ruined by Isaac’s mere existence, you push away from the counter as you yank your phone free from your pocket. It’s been neglected these last few days as you’ve been doing your best to ignore him, but whether you like it or not, you’re still stuck with him. Answering his questions, keeping him updated on the baby; because if you don’t, then he’ll find some way to torture it out of you anyway. You’d rather do it on your terms.

You pull up his contact. The last message you had gotten from him was one you hadn’t seen from this morning: 

Good morning my lovely.

You try not to gag as you type out your response: 

The baby’s a girl. 

Rapid knuckles rap against the wood of your door, and you nearly jump out of your skin as you shoot a glare at the entrance. Biting into your lip, you close your phone and discard it back into your pocket as you peer through the peephole. You’re surprised to find Kyle on the other side wearing a grey t-shirt and a dusty, Union Jack cap. Confused, though not repulsed, by his presence, you open the door and greet him with tight-drawn brows. 

“Hey.” It’s awkward. Short. You’re certain he can smell your confusion from a mile away. 

Instead of calling you out on it, he holds up a small plastic bag that jingles like Christmas bells as he shakes it. Several, miscellaneous-sized nails jump around, bumping into one another with an odd melody. “Got your note.” 

He holds the bag out for you to take — polite and cautious — and once you have them in your hands, you can’t help but squint at them. You could have sworn you had slipped that note under Grandma’s door. Well, at least you’ve only made a slight fool of yourself. 

“Oh, right, thank you,” you say with a smile, as if this had been the plan all along. 

“We’re not supposed to use nails to hang things up, but I always keep extra lying around. They’re more useful and less damaging than that peel-n-stick crap they want you to use,” Kyle humors.

“That, and they’re significantly better at hanging up paintings. Don’t have to worry about them falling off the damn walls,” you chuckle. 

Kyle hums as the corner of his lips quirk up. Everything about him is kind and sweet — especially his eyes, which not-so-tactfully look you up and down, lingering on your swelling stomach. It’s a look you’ve gotten used to. Pregnancy has a way of drawing attention. “Need help hangin’ anything?” 

You should say no — you want to say no — but you can hear your OB in the back of your mind. Keep stress levels low. Rest in bed as much as possible. And please, keep strenuous activity to a minimum. 

“If you’ve got the time.” That sentence leaves your voice shaking. Half finished. Not entirely convinced. “It’s… always better to have a second set of eyes to make sure they’re even, anyway.” 

This isn’t the first time Kyle’s been in your apartment. He was in here last week to help you move your monster of a mattress into your bedroom — which you’re still not sure if you’ve thanked him properly for or not. For some reason, your stomach dips when you bring him into your studio. It’s not a place many people see. Or, that many people ever saw when it was still your proper set up when you were living with Isaac. It’s bare bones and gutted, at the moment. A lonely easel sits in the center of the room with no canvas to hold, surrounded by a mixture of works from your favorite artists. Sunlight seeps through the open windows, painting the dull white of the room an alluring gold; for a moment, it almost feels like home. 

“Did you paint these?” Kyle asks. He’s staring at one of John William Waterhouse’s paintings. Miranda. A beautiful, fair skinned woman with flaxen hair sits on a large rock on the grey shoreline of a windy beach. Her hands are folded in her lap, patient, as if waiting for something. 

“I’m very flattered you think I could paint as well as Waterhouse himself, but that’s just a print,” you chuckle. 

“Could’ve fooled me.” 

With Kyle’s mastery at maneuvering canvases, and your keen eye, it doesn’t take long to turn your studio from a half finished mess, into a beautifully covered masterpiece. There’s hardly a single inch of wall visible in that entire room.Natural lighting reflects off of the myriad of colors, casting a vibrant glow throughout the room. You smile with your hands on your hips. This is the first bit of triumph you’ve felt in weeks. 

“Oh, bloody hell,” Kyle hisses. He’s made the mistake of turning the studio light on, and the bulb overhead sputters and flashes at seizure-inducing speed. He quickly shuts it off, and looks at you with a sheepish grin before clearing his throat. “I’ve got an extra bulb too, if you need it.” 

“Don’t worry about it, I put a ticket in with maintenance,” you excuse. 

Kyle hums, but doesn’t look entirely convinced that’s going to fix your issue. Still, he keeps quiet as you lead him out of the studio and back through the kitchen toward the exit. Goodbyes are always awkward, especially for someone who was technically accidentally invited over in the first place, and you feel your palms sweating about it already. 

While you’re brainstorming ways to excuse him, Kyle’s eyes are wandering. It’s only natural that they do. That floral arrangement is beautiful, after all. Pristine, bright daisies, dainty sunflowers; glorious yellows and greens and whites. It looks too cheerful to be propped up next to a get well card. You can feel the question burning the tip of his tongue, because it’s what everyone always asks. How are you? Feeling any better? Hope things are going well for you-

Your phone buzzes. 

It burns a hole in your pocket. You know you shouldn’t look at it. It’s malicious. Evil. Writhing against your body, begging to be paid attention to. Attracting your fingers like a moth to a flame, and before you know it, your hands are ensnared in the web Isaac so painfully crafted for you. 

The screen burns your eyes as you look at his message: 

I was hoping for a boy.

That memory of Isaac talking about doing a gender reveal party haunts you. He spoke about it as if he were ecstatic; as if he would have been happy no matter the gender. That it was supposed to be a mirthful celebration of the two of you and your unborn child — is this what you had to look forward to? I was hoping for a boy? Would he have looked at you, dejected and torn apart over the fact that this child is a girl? Would he have cheered as loud? Smiled as big? Did he just recently turn into this fiend, or have you been blind this entire time? 

How long have you been loving a monster?

“What’s this?”

 Kind curiosity interrupts your thoughts, and you look up from your phone to find Kyle scrutinizing over the sonograms on the counter. Your daughter's beautiful features captured on translucent film are muddied against the dark counter top that sits underneath it. There’s hardly a head or torso to be seen in that mess. 

“Oh, I had an ultrasound of the kid today. It’s a sonogram,” you explain simply. 

He’s bending at the hips now, eyes squinting as he tries to make sense of it. There’s something oddly respectful about the way he doesn’t touch it. Like he’s worried about intruding if he does. 

“Here, it’s easier to see if you hold it up to the light. Like this…” 

You grab the sonogram off the counter, and you hold it up to the natural light pouring through the open window on the other side of the room. Kyle tilts his head, enamored by the way the image clears up. A whisper of a laugh hangs in the back of his throat. 

“I’ve never seen one in person before. Neat thing,” he admits. 

It’s strange being so close to him. You can smell brass and soot on his skin, an odd scent you’ve never encountered before, yet one that isn’t entirely unwelcome. Certainly better than the overdose of perfume your receptionist used. 

“Do you know what it is?” he asks as you lower the sonogram. He looks at you with genuine curiosity as you lower the picture back to the counter. 

“A girl,” you answer sheepishly. 

Kyle grins so bright you swear it’s blinding. “Granny’ll be happy to hear that. She placed a bet that you were havin’ a girl.” 

Your laugh erupts from your throat without warning, and you find your hand flying to your stomach by reflex. “Did she really?” He nods. “And what did you bet, then?” 

His shining grin melts more into a cheeky smirk as he glances towards the exit before looking back at you. “I bet on it being a girl, too. Guess we’re both winners.” He pauses, eyes once again falling to your stomach before landing back on your face, eyes softening. “But no one’s more lucky than you, I imagine.” 

Most days, you don’t feel lucky. If anything, you’re haunted. Carrying around some sort of terrible ghost that lingers in your pocket. Cunning. Malicious. But today, in that room, getting to see your daughter? Knowing that this is your daughter? It made you feel like the happiest woman on earth, if only for a moment.

“You might be right about that,” you giggle in agreement. 

There’s a gentle moment the two of you share. A hidden jocundity that you weren’t able to properly share with anyone else. But it’s short lived. Smothered and snuffed out before it can properly blossom, and then you’re walking Kyle to the door. He hesitates to step through the threshold, fingers twitching with intent, digging deep into the pocket of his jeans before holding out a small piece of paper toward you. 

You recognize it as the note that you wrote on earlier — and swore you gave to Grandma and not him — but it’s got extra writing on the back. A phone number; scrawled in some of the most perfect handwriting you’ve ever seen. 

“Take this. Just in case you need anything else. I’m usually gone most of the day because of work, so texting or calling is easier. If it’s all the same to you,” he explains. 

You slip the paper between your fingers before folding it into your pocket where you silently pray you’ll never need it. Kyle is a good man, truly. Sweet, charismatic, and more than handsome — a model citizen, you suppose. But you know how it looks. A — soon to be — single, hopefully soon-to-be-divorced woman, pregnant, and living on her own? If people don’t think Kyle’s doing charity work, they’ll certainly think more malevolent of you. 

Gold digger, pathetic, lonely woman that can’t take care of herself, can hardly keep a relationship, only hanging around this poor sod so he’ll take care of her kid no doubt. Lord knows she can’t take care of it herself-

“Thanks,” you smile. 

When the door closes behind Kyle, he notices Grandma has magically appeared in her usual spot. Old, creaking rocking chair, same frail hands working yarn into clothes; she sits unbothered. She wasn’t there when he first arrived home, but she’s apparated like a damn witch. 

“Was that your doing?” he asks, thumb jamming over his shoulder as he approaches the ancient crone. 

“You’ll have to be more specific, dear,” she chirps. 

“The note, asking about extra nails? She didn’t slide that under my door, did she?” Kyle explains. 

Grandma shrugs. “I didn’t have any. Figured an able-bodied man like yourself would.” 

A peeved sigh passes between Kyle’s teeth as he fumbles for his keys, head hanging low. Gunpowder and dirt cling to his body like a second skin. Filthy. Rotten like he is when he’s out in the field. He’d spent most of the day out at the range. You probably thought he was disgusting. 

“Well, a little warning next time, if you would. She looked at me like I was crazy when she opened that door,” he requests as he turns toward his door. He pauses, hand outstretched and ready to unlock the door, when he remembers something. “Oh, we were right. She’s havin’ a girl.” 

Crooked, yellow teeth flash in a quick grin as Grandma chuckles and pulls her knitting close to her chest. “Oh, good. I’ve already knitted three pink hats for the darling.” 

Her happiness is an infectious sort of jovial that seeps into even Kyle’s skin, but his smile is quick to fade when he thinks back to the flowers and card that sat next to those sonograms. Something so bleak next to literal gifts of life — get well soon.

“You think she’s alright? Living on her own, I mean,” Kyle asks, voice low and quiet as if the very walls will whisper his words to you if he’s too loud. “I know it’s not my place but… it’s a little odd, isn’t it?” 

A tangible solemness taints the air, forcing Grandma’s smile into a down-turned frown. Then, her lips set straight as she gets back to knitting. 

“She’s in a lot of pain,” is all she says in answer. 

“You think she lost her husband? She’s got ring rash, but no ring,” Kyle ventures. 

The sound that exudes from Grandma is something he’s never heard from her before. It’s sour, bilious even. Her hands begin to work twice as fast than they did before. 

“A woman who loses her husband is beside herself. She’s got too much anger for that, Kyle, and I think you’re smart enough to figure that out, too,” she replies. 

That was a possibility he had imagined as well. Some idiot bastard, abandoning his pregnant wife during her time of need. It’s not unheard of. There are a lot of odious people on this earth — he’s very aware. Yet, a part of him had hoped — as sick as it is — that whoever you had been with had only died. It’s a different type of betrayal. To be loved beyond death would certainly be more comforting than to be loved until that affection suddenly ran dry. 

“Suppose you’re right,” Kyle mutters. 

The key slides into the lock easily, like a knife through flesh, and it almost makes him laugh. Look at him. What a tricky little monster, trying to care for someone so soft when he can recall the way blood gushes free around cold steel. 

“Keep an eye on her, Kyle. I’m getting old. Won’t be around forever,” Grandma says, tone too steady to be joking. 

He doesn’t look back as he opens the door. 

“Yes ma’am.”


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10 months ago

Get attacked!! ✨🌈 SEND THIS TO OTHER BLOGGERS YOU THINK ARE WONDERFUL KEEP THE GAME GOING🌈✨

!!!

very surprised rn


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