If I Cannot Be Wanted

if i cannot be wanted

i will be needed

and if i cannot be needed

let me be used until there’s nothing left of me

Bothersome beast, comforting friend

a questionnaire, noor unnahar // haunted womanhood, heather havrilesky // lamb's head on a plate, viggo johansen // citizen illegal, josé olivarez // grief lessons: four plays by euripides; tr., anne carson

Mahmoud Darwish, In the Presence of Absence // Ada Limón, "Lies About Sea Creatures" // Sherita Walker // @itsbaditsgood // Richard Siken, "I Had a Dream About You" // Richard Siken, "You Are Jeff" (8) // Richard Siken, "Litany in Which Certain Things Are Crossed Out" // @_demarmol on Instagram // Anne Sexton, "The Touch"

sunday doodles... i like to think that his wings are part of his clothes and them being darker means he's becoming a fallen angel:-)

everyday i remember bokuto is like

a legitimate captain. he's the captain. his teammates mutually agreed he should be the captain and made him the captain

he gets everyone hyped up, he cares about his teammates, he's the guy responsible for the volleyball team and making sure everyone's working hard and feeling good and not dying

and i think the perception that he's just an emotional idiot is arguably the most tragic thing about bokuto. he's good at what he does, he's capable, he's aware of his faults, but he didn't ask for intense mood swings that actively hinder his quality of life. and he's like 17 or 18, which probably makes everything worse.

and then there's akaashi, who's out here memorizing everything that comes free with neurodivergence and Messes Him Up and looks for ways to help and in retrospect, is a blessing to teenage bokuto's life tbh