Vinnie, Whispering: Ey, Reg, Don't Go Tellin' Nobody That I Like This Algebra Stuff, Alright?

Vinnie, whispering: ey, Reg, don't go tellin' nobody that I like this algebra stuff, alright?

So in lore, vampires have this trait that I’ve almost never seen used, and that’s the fact that vampires are OBSESSED with counting things. Like, the Count on Sesame Street was almost certainly created specifically as a vampire because of this piece of lore.

Like, I read this vampire book years and years ago that explained that a surefire way to protect yourself from vampires getting into your house was to spread a ton of seeds on your doorstep–poppy and mustard seeds were particularly recommended for the purpose. Basically, if you suspected someone to be a vampire, all you had to do was drop a sackful of seeds on the ground in front of them.

If they didn’t immediately start counting them, they were not a vampire. However, if they WERE a vampire, they’d be seized with the urge to count all the seeds and they would not budge from that spot until they knew how many seeds there were in total. The point was to keep them there until the sun came up and killed them, because if they hadn’t counted all the seeds by sunrise they wouldn’t be able to leave. Presumably you could just go about the rest of your evening as normal, though no word on whether it’s possible to make them lose count and start over.

Having remembered this piece of lore, I want fewer stories about brooding tortured Edward Cullen-esque vampires. I want to start seeing more stories about math nerd vampires.

Vampire accountants who are an honest company’s best asset and a corrupt company’s bane because they are frighteningly accurate with the accounts and will not hesitate to blow the whistle on a CEO scamming money because fuck you for making the numbers wrong.

Vampire cashiers that don’t need to look at the register screen because they already mentally calculated your total. 10-items-or-less vampires who know goddamn well you have 20 items in that basket and NO, you cannot just slip in with the rest.

Vampire math tutors who are constantly in high demand and have to hold lotteries to see who gets to be tutored by them.

MATH NERD VAMPIRES

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DELLA DUCK

AYO VINNIe WHATCHU DOIN'-

first the ear thing, now this. They were destiny to be......nah fr tho vinnie getting' kinda spicy

catching feelings 💗

Should I start a separate to blog? I've been thinking about it for a little bit.

My head canon is that Hathor IS her actual biological last name at birth, but overtime mean people dubbed her "cleoFATRA" so everyone started calling her that, whether they knew that wasn't her name or not

Gravedale High Cleo (not her full name) except her name is now Hathor and her favourite accessory is those round glasses that are decorated with flowers and gems

Jesse we need to get the best possible thing in this game and not just as long and then go through with them on their hand or whatever.