Stardustaroundmyheart - Chaos Dreamer - Tumblr Blog

And I whisper to myself, I am safer alone.

Wasted, Marya Hornbacher / . / . / . / painting by Mladen Ilic / Paul Auster / Letters To Milena, Franz Kafka / Wide Sargasso Sea, Jean Rhys / The Departure Of The Train, Clarice Lispector / Beau Taplin

poem excerpt by me | a uquiz i'm unable to find | Jodi Picoult, My Sister's Keeper | Natalie Diaz, A Brother Named Gethsemane | tiktok | tumblr | Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Sáenz | The Bible

Girlpool—Before the World Was Big // memorial bench quoting Toni Morrison's Sula // @inanotherunivrse // Iain S. Thomas, I Wrote This For You // Zadie Smith, Swing Time // Fall Out Boy—The Kids Aren't Alright // Audrey Emmett // Mikko Harvey, "For M" // Mahmoud Darwish, Memory for Forgetfulness: August, Beirut, 1982 (tr. Ibrahim Muhawi) // Langston Hughes, "Poem"

I think one of the slept on things that makes The Secret History feel like a real world is Donna Tartt's willingness to introduce a character that is just never brought up again (or brought up once or twice again.)

Because i'm real life, not every person you meet is going to have significance in your life. Not everyone is going to change that plot. Think about the teacher that takes over when Julian leaves. Or the farmer who claims to have seen Bunny. Or Richard's one night stand. Even the man stalking Henry and Bunny in Italy doesn't show up later.

And not only does this fill the gaps in the world, it absolutely helps build suspense. You never know if a character might have significance later, because there's simply no pattern to follow. It keeps you guessing.

Did I mention I started rereading The Secret History

Just thinking about the secret history and Camilla character is truly so sad like the hole ritual part where the guys remember that they were chasing a deer and Camilla remember being a deer while forever haunt me and the fact that she spent that night alone and was covered in blood like it’s truly haunting

otherness, monstrosity, disappointment. (on "The Hermaphrodite" by Julia Ward Howe)

defectivegembrain \\ "car accident (excerpt)" Jonny Buldoc \\ "Family Tree (Intro)" Ethel Cain \\ @etheralspacejelly \\ "Why are you haunted? select all that apply (excerpt)" @filnoirsbian \\ "Cassandra" Florence and the machine \\ "Monsters and what makes them (excerpt)" A.S. \\ "The Prodigal Son (excerpt)" Rainer Maria Rilke

i've got seven missed calls and eight apologies in drafts and the thought of anyone wanting me makes me so afraid that i ask them to leave even when i want them to stay. inside my mind i am begging; please don't go— please love me anyways

grit, a poetry collection/ in image/ mayakovsky by frank o'hara/ sue zhao/ unknown / Ruth Madievsky, All-Night Pharmacy / gone girl, gillian flyn/ Cotton Candy on a Rainy Day, Nikki Giovanni / supernatural season 12 ep 22 (thanks @count-woe-laf) / I Put The Coffin Out To Sea by Lisa Marie Basile/ Sorry by Halsey/ Sorry by Halsey / unknown

"I got a message. The girls are on their way here now." "Why?" "I told you not to be so unfriendly toward them." "I got it."

Pyramid Game (2024) dir. Bak So Yeon Episode 9

i wanted it too much

xo - fall out boy / adventure time / i know it's over - the smiths / daughter - daughters / climbing - lucille clifton / ask polly

Sorry about the blood in your mouth. I wish it was mine.

@dog-teeth/nobody - mitski/@ lilrainpoety on instagram/little weirds - jenny slate/@blossomfully/@chaandajaan/strawberry blond - mitski/wishbone - richard siken/salt - salma deera/unable to find a source/mia hollow/the unabridged journals of sylvia plath/nobody - mitski/crush - richard siken

TSH spoilers:

I feel like we as a fandom do not talk about Henry’s symbolism in TSH enough. Like, that dude is the literal embodiment of death, and I just think it’s so damn cool. I mean, his whole obsession with language and literature stemmed from the fact that he almost died in a car accident. And then every death we see in the book (the farmer’s, Bunny’s, and his very own) is directly at his hands. The others were accomplices, sure, but Henry’s the one who takes action every time. And in Francis’s failed suicide and Richard’s near death in the epilogue, they both see Henry, not Bunny or Charles or what have you.

Henry is not only obsessed with death, he IS death. He’s the reaper who’s friends toy with their mortality all the time through drugs and booze. The reason they all admire him is not only because of his size and stature and brilliance; it’s because he’s dangerous. If beauty is indeed terror, than he’s the most beautiful of them all. They all have the life preservation skills of a fly, so of course they love Henry. And of course his actions constantly bring them closer to danger and death.

- on fathers & their anger & everything that they leave behind

Woodtangle, Mary Ruefle // Susan Smith, wych elm // @veniennes on tiktok // @veniennes on tiktok // Li-Young Lee, Folding a Five-Cornered Star So the Corners Meet // Jamaica Kincaid, from The Autobiography of My Mother // I hope this reaches her in time, by R.H. Sin // Liv Ullmann, Changing // excerpted from Sarah Kay's poem: "Hand me Downs", from her book "No Matter The Wreckage" // I Would Leave Me If I Could: A Collection of Poetry, Halsey // It lingers for your whole life by katie maria (heavensghost on tumblr) // Cut, Catherine Lacey // Seven - Taylor Swift // Mouthful of Forevers, Clementine von Radics // @lilcowgirl7-deactivated20210223 // Thoman Builds-The-Fire, Smoke Signals (Sherman Alexie) // Desireé Dallagiacomo - I Forgive You

Let me tell you a story. It goes like this: my father is the worst man alive, and i am his favourite daughter

— on fathers, mirrors, and unwanted inheritances.

love & friendship - collected writings from side wounds and other poems

a girl of fear, a woman of anger— look how we've grown

"I THOUGHT OF YOU." // CLOSE, BUT NOT CLOSE ENOUGH

Adrianne Lenker anything // Portrait de la jeune fille en feu (2019) dir. Céline Sciamma // Ingmar Bergman from a letter to Liv Ullmann // Sonya Vatomsky Salt Is For Curing // Isaac Marion Warm Bodies // Portrait de la jeune fille en feu (2019) dir. Céline Sciamma // Richard Siken Crush // Leah Horlick For Your Own Good // Portrait de la jeune fille en feu (2019) dir. Céline Sciamma // Roland Barthes A Lover's Discourse: Fragments // Bret Easton Ellis The Rules of Attraction // Thomas E. Yingling "My Way Home is Through You," Hart Crane and the Homosexual Text: New Thresholds, New Anatomies // Portrait de la jeune fille en feu (2019) dir. Céline Sciamma // Adrianne Lenker anything // Frank Bidart "Guilty of Dust," Half-light: Collected Poems 1965-2016 // Portrait de la jeune fille en feu (2019) dir. Céline Sciamma // Yrsa Daley-Ward Bone

Anne Carson, from Red Doc>

Emily Dickinson, "If I can stop one heart from breaking" // Disney, Lilo and Stitch // Becks_RyLynn on ao3, "How the Light Gets In" // Jessica Darrow—Surface Pressure // The Hunger Games (2012) // The Other Boleyn Girl (2008) // Lin Manuel-Miranda—The Reynold's Pamphlet // @throwitinthelake 's tags on this post // @lucidloving // see 2

I WILL LOVE YOU IF I NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN, AND I WILL LOVE YOU IF I SEE YOU EVERY TUESDAY // ON LOVE IN BETTER DAYS

Mary Haskell // 少年的你 Better Days (2019) dir. Derek Tsang // Anne Sexton A Self-Portrait in Letters (via @flowerytale) // 少年的你 Better Days (2019) dir. Derek Tsang // Sylvain Reynard Gabriel's Inferno // Sue Zhao // Edna St. Vincent Millay Iterim Poem // 少年的你 Better Days (2019) dir. Derek Tsang // 엔하이픈 ENHYPEN Fate // Sam Sax // 少年的你 Better Days (2019) dir. Derek Tsang // Taylor Swift Say Don't Go (Taylor's Version) [From the Vault]

digital immortality | virtual e-morality

1. blueskies-bluescreens on tumblr 2. death, virtual grief and your digital footprint 3. online status of a steam community user 4. my journal dot com 5. & 7. hacked-wtsdz on tumblr 6. STurner4077 on twitter 8. the new forms of mourning by julie alev dilmaç 9. all the ghosts in the machine: illusions of immortality in the digital age 10. unknown 11. fairycosmos on tumblr 12. researching death online

The Mountain Goats — Sax Rohmer #1 // Neil Gaiman, The Sandman // @lucidloving // Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Prince // @kkiaikk_07 on tw // Madeline Miller, Song of Achilles // 墨香铜臭, 天管赐福 (Heaven Official's Blessing) // Shinou Ryo, Zetusbou ni Nake // Five For Fighting — Heaven Knows // Warren Zevon — Keep Me in Your Heart

Richard Siken, Straw House, Straw Dog // Little Beast

musings on hands

Ocean Vuong, Don Snyder, Richard Siken, Masao Yamamoto, Franz Kafka, Hussein Chalayan, Sylvia Plath

buy me a coffee