I GOT SONG RECS FOR U

I GOT SONG RECS FOR U

ok so first of all Be Honest by Jorja Smith and Burna Boy absolutely slaps, and you should check out there individual music as well.

A Kiss by The Driver Era gives major summer montage vibes.

Jet Black by Anderson. Paak is my ultimate favourite song, gets me in the feels fr.

Sexy Drug by Falling in Reverse is a bop too and a good one for screaming your lungs out to.

If you’re feeling frustrated at a situationship or something I’d recommend Slow Reply by Who Is Jack (formerly known as Jack Britten) or Friendly Sex by Caity Baiser (I think that’s how you spell it)

Vegas by Doja Cat has some absolute BARS and so does Go Crazy by Young Thug

Dont come at me bcuz I know MGK is the height of cringe but makeup sex by him and blackbear is a banger

Others : Kiwi by Harry Styles, Meddle About by Chase Atlantic, Tears Dry on Their Own by Amy Winehouse, Always by George Michael, BMW by Bad Boy Chiller Crew, Black Hole by Griff, and By Herself by IV DANTE.

sorry for the long list lmao xoxo

AH THATS SO NICE ! I LOVED TO LISTEN TO SO MANY SONGS...And honestly I have saved some to my playlist like Slow Reply, Tears dry on their own, always,By Herself and black hole.

Whenever there is the word ‘sex’ in a song name I know that’s for me so of course I have saved Sexy Drug and Friendly Sex. And you recommended me Chase Atlantics: they are my empire tbh.

I loved to listen to some new songs from your recs and it was quite fun.

hi! can i be added to the better than gold taglist??

yeah sure! you will be added. Thanks for showing interest. <3

cold husband mafia mingi x reader where they get into an argument then the reader is kidnapped and gets hurt infront of him and falls unconscious give me all the angst you’ve got 🫶🏻

I AM LOST...

Pairing: Mafia husband! Mingi x Wife!reader

Genre: Angst, Mafia, Family au

W.C: 4.2k

Warnings: arguments b/w husband and wife, neglection of married life, mention open cuts with knife, kidnapping, get shot, blood loss. Regret.

Networks: @cultofdionysusnet @k-vanity

Note: please I want to thanks to people for reading and reblogging. Reviews are always appreciated . Applause to the ones who come up to me to interact and they know how friendly I am. Okay enough!

“Why don’t you understand?”

You angrily put down the phone on your bed and brushed back the loose hairs from your face. You know it’s not a certain thing for you to be in this situation but you didn’t expect that even today also, he was going to treat it as the usual day. You were not expecting much from him but at least he could have tried to appreciate your efforts for the night.

You glanced at the clock and looked down at your long-slit dress for the night hugging your body. Few moments back, your mirror reflected the beauty of the night with a bright smile adorning your look but now your face reflecting the sadness. Sadness or loneliness.

Throwing the heels to the side of the room, you picked up the night sleep-gown to get change into it. Taking the phone in your hand, you checked through the notifications for the last time for the day, there’s still no texts from him of changing his mind. So, you are just going to sleep without even eating the dinner. You have already texted the restaurant to cancel your booking for the night and paid extra charges for the arrangements before heading to the bathroom.

It’s been an hour that you have locked yourself inside the bathroom when you heard a faint knock. When you turned off the tap, you could hear the light banging at the door.

“Who is there?”

“Ma’am, Is everything okay? I was calling you for last ten minutes and sorry to enter the room without the permission but I was worried for you.”

Oh. You were zoning out and didn’t hear your name being called. You could hear the worriedness in your maid’s voice and she is the only one who knows to accompany you even when she is busy or having her special days. Atleast, she understands you and knows what you are going through in your life. You literally envy her as she is not rich like you but having a nice and moderate life where she is actually happy unlike you who don’t know about happiness after the marriage.

“Ma’am?”

“I’m okay. Just need some time alone and I’ll be fine.”

You heard a faint ‘okay’ and click of your bedroom door shut. You sighed and stared at the mirror for few minutes before heading outside the bathroom. Slow footsteps took you near the window where you could see the view of the busy streets of the city. Your one hand resting on the glass window looked like as if you are caged in the room, maybe you are, just the way you are restricted to this marriage.

When you heard your maid calling out your name again, you let her in but still facing the window. You have tried not to show your vulnerable state to her but everytime you failed and cried to her. She was always there to comfort you, even today as well.

“Are you crying?”

You glanced at your reflection to the side, you could see a tear-line down on your cheeks and your fingers raised up to feel it. To feel the pain of your silent scream.

“I don’t know but why am I even crying?”

The mother like figure setting the food on the corner table, made her way towards you. She sympathetically smiled at you and when she reached near you, patting your head and taking hold of your one hand, brought you to sit on the edge of the bed. You stared at the hold and silent tears fell on top of it.

 “Am I not worthy for his time?” you asked in a hushed voice.

She rubbed your palms and hummed, “It’s not about your worth my dear. He is just distant from everything. You know when I first came into this house to work, I thought he really hate me as his maid or he doesn’t like a particular thing about me which is why he is being so cold to me. But gradually I got to know him, he is just a man who grew up as a child neglected by the family and so he doesn’t know how to really express himself.”

“But I am his wife. Does he not care about this? If he didn’t want to marry then why making my life miserable.” You gulped the lump in your throat and inhaled the sob that could tear out any time. You just want a little time of his where you can spend some time like a couple and talk about our married life.

“I know, Y/N. It’s really hard for you but some things need time.”

“It’s been one year…” you looked at her and she nodded.

“I hope he would soon see how he is ignoring a beautiful soul like you. He really loves you though or he wouldn’t have done so much to keep you safe here. He is just scared to open up with you as his parents never listened to him so he thinks that you might behave like them as well. As it was a contract marriage so he thinks you are with his parents but trust me, his first priority is you.”

You chuckled bitterly, “Never. His first priority is this mafia business which would never let him to come closer to me. He is just doing everything because this is his house and his properties which are needed to be kept safe-“

“And you are my wife.”

Both of you turned towards the door to see the man in messed up condition standing at the doorway with his coat in one hand and placing the gun in the drawer of the table near the corner table.

The maid stood up and excused herself to leave the room, leaving you with Mingi. When passing him, she asked quietly if he had eaten but he just shook his head and told not to bring him dinner, everything inaudible to you.

His eyes look tired and hairs disheveled, lazily he threw the tie on the sofa and walked towards the mirror. Your eyes following his movements and when he caught you looking at him through the mirror, you didn’t look away but locked your eyes with his.

“Your wife?” a hatred filled undertone spilled from your mouth.

He waited to see if you wanted to say anything more but only tears flowing down your eyes. The only thought came across his mind was how he had messed up today, the very first anniversary of both of yours. The mission was important but he couldn’t suddenly let the enemies know that they have a hole of his absence and take advantage of his gang, as he is the main snipper of the Mafia ‘Ateez’.

“Yes.” His eyes glanced at the food kept covered at the corner table and sighed, “Eat your food. I had my dinner earlier and you should not sleep in empty stomach.”

“I would rather die than eating dinner.”

Your words somehow hit a nerve inside him as he skipped towards and made you stand up, gripping your shoulders tightly. “What did you just say?”

You tried to read him but you could only see fire eyes staring back at you. You glanced at the grip on the shoulders and saw few cuts on his knuckles and wrists, maybe the mission didn’t succeed. So what? He is now going to show his frustration on you?

“I can’t live like a stranger in this house even when I’m living with the person, I got married to last year. Have you ever considered our life in a serious way or it’s just a contract mission for you. You could have said before our marriage then I would have done something to prevent it. Why was it necessary to make my life miserable for your mafia business?”

You were shouting on his face and you could see his furrowed brows and piercing eyes searching for your every emotion. His grip on you loosened and you swatted his hands away from you.

“Y/n…”

“Stop it. I’m tired of listening to your same excuses.” You pushed your hairs back and continued, “This mission was important. I’m doing things which is good for us. Same words.”

Mingi exhaled and proceeded to remove the wrist watch.

“You know it’s not an easy thing to be the part of a gang member and also maintain the family. You need to understand some things. Don’t act childish and whine for little things.”

“little things? You are an emotionless monster, Mingi. Do you even care about other’s feelings?” You rubbed your eyes with your sleeves, “I tried to understand your situation before. Everytime whenever I got disappointed with your attitude, I tried to convince myself that everything would be okay once the missions get over. But never.”

“This is my life, Y/n.”

“and what about my life? Before the marriage I dreamt of getting a husband who would be caring and loving to me. I never wanted money or a luxurious life to show off people but I wanted someone who will stay with me, understand me. Mingi please, I’m tired of all these.”

He stayed silent.

“I’m really a monster. Don’t forget I’m a member of ‘Ateez’ so I should not have feelings for anything and of course, I can’t be available like the other husbands. I gave you everything. I bought you all the things you have ever wanted, I have taken you to all the places you have wanted to visit and still here you are complaining about your life.” He has never shouted at you and today the way he raised his voice has reached the limit.

“Mingi……I need love.” You whispered the words. You just want to disappear from this place at that moment. He has heard what you had said and he stopped in his track entering the bathroom.

“Y/n, why can’t you understand that-“

“STOP! I am fed up with this. I’m leaving this place right now. Don’t try to find me unless you know how to become a husband.”

You grabbed your phone and purse laying on the sofa and slide the jacket hanging on the hook and slammed shut the door. Mingi stared at the door through which just now you have exited. A tear drop fell from the eye. Not your, but his. He is crying. He brings his finger to feel the tears on his cheeks. He deserves it.

“I’m sorry….”

He threw the towel on the bed and quickly dialled a number and waited impatiently for the other line to pick it up. 

“Hello? Is anything wrong?”

“Yunho, please track Y/n’s number and see where she is going. I know she must be going to her best friend’s house but she was restless when she left the house so I hope she doesn’t do anything stupid and go to her house safely.”

“Mingi, calm down. I will keep a watch on her. And, you still didn’t apologize right? She needs you, Mingi. You are her husband and you know she is not used to this kind of dark life yet her parents forced her into this but you need to remember, she is that bubbly Y/n from our class and she deserves happiness. I hope after she comes back to you, you treat her the right way. Right way I meant, you will give her all the love she needs and deserves.”

“I know… please keep a watch on her.”

“I will.”

After hanging up the call, he stared at the phone screen and unconsciously, he tapped on your name to call you but his finger hovered over the call sign and sighed. You wouldn’t pick up and he made a mental note to bring you back.

After a while when he exited the bathroom, he glanced at the bed. Usually, he would find you sleeping or scrolling through the phone. Your food still kept in the corner, getting cold just like the relationship between you both. It would not be a surprise if you leave him at this point because it would be all his fault after all. It’s surprising how you are a carefree, bubbly and a sunshine girl got entangled with confined, ruthless and cold boy.

He has always watched you since the middle school and he envied how cheerful you always were unlike him, who had to hide the mafia family business and always acting cold towards everyone. Never in a while, he thought that he would be marrying you in the future and now here you are both struggling in your life. And moreover, he is the one destroying your butterflies and rainbows with the thunderstorm of his coldness.

The bedroom door slammed open and the maid supported herself at the doorframe and spoke between the heavy breathes, “Sir Yunho is here. He is calling you urgently.”

Mingi threw the towel on the bed and signalled her to go along with him. Meanwhile, he asked her if she knows the reason for his urgency but the words came out her mouth made his heart beat stop for a moment.

“It’s about Y/n.”

He inhaled sharply before almost running to the living room where Yunho was sitting in a messed up state and looking at the phone screen. Mingi took large steps towards the man sitting on the sofa and grabbed his collar to make him stand.

“where is Y/n? I told you to keep a watch on her then what went wrong?”

Yunho held the wrist and tried to calm him down but he himself was sick worried of the thing that happened earlier.

“Mingi, I was tracking her location as you told me but suddenly, she changed her direction to a different road and I quickly went there with Jongho as it was the way leading to the highway where all the deals happen at night.”

“Why was she going there?”

“I didn’t know why she suddenly went there but when I reached her last location, she was not there and I found her phone lying at the side of the road and I saw a number texted her to go there who pretended as you. She trusted the text that you were asking her to meet and you would be apologizing for everything. We need to do something.”

Mingi didn’t know what to think at the moment. Should he scold you for believing any number to be him? Or should he just shoot everyone here and there just to find you quickly? He brushed the damp hairs back and took heavy breathes to calm him down to come up with a better plan as panicking is not a mafia thing and he needs to think wisely so that you don’t get hurt.

Yunho got a call from one of his gang members and conversing over the call, he turned towards his other mate. He watched how he was being so impatient for his wife. Even if he doesn’t show any feelings but deep down, he loves his wife the most. He is just scared not to harm her in the flow of his mafia life. He wants to keep you as bubbly as the childhood Y/n but he is hurting you in the process.

“Hey.” Mingi looked up to his member’s call. “Jongho has tracked the message number id and it’s from the District-9 and it only means there is one person who could have kidnapped her. It’s Bangchan and his gang members to take revenge for the last month’s mission.”

“I will go there and take her back. I need to leave right now.”

“Are you stupid? If he attacks you then neither you are getting her back nor you will be safe.”

“You don’t tell me what to do now. I don’t care to spend time coming up with a plan. Y/n is in danger and she is scared.”

Even when Yunho tried to stop him, Mingi harshly pushed him away and sprint towards the garage to get into his black car. His black outfit blending with the cold dark night. Even the roads through which he was driving through were silent but he was in chaos. Many thoughts passing through his mind and he was just praying that you were safe.

“Please wait for a while…I’m coming, Y/n.”

He drove the car faster.

.

.

.

“Well my little angel, is the cut burning?”

Your teary eyes looked up to the voice who was calling you with an endearment but mocking at you. The leader of this new gang and you just know only his name, Bangchan as others were just calling each other with code numbers.

“Please…I want to go home…It’s hurting please…” you tried to pry yourself off from the ropes binding you to the chair but your weak body couldn’t go against it and the cuts over your hands and legs were burning with your every little movement.

“It would have been easy if you would have told me the details of your husband’s base but your stubbornness is only causing you pain so my boys had to torture you like this. So, are you willing to speak now?”

He gripped your jaw harshly and brought his face near to yours. You shook your head to avoid him but he held you tighter.

“TELL ME!”

“I don’t know…”

“I swear-“ Before he could finish both of you hear loud screaming and shootings outside. He stared at you and held the gun towards you when he heard footsteps nearing the basement.

Within the seconds, the door kicked open by Mingi. At first, he didn’t notice you but when his gaze fell on Bangchan, the latter smirked and looked below when he followed the gaze, he watched how helpless and tiredly you were tied to the chair.

what the fuck…

“So, the snipper of Ateez is here without the invitation. Oh, wife pulled you here but as far as I have heard, it doesn’t really matter to you what’s going to happen to her.”

“Shut up.” He hissed.

Mingi took one step and you screamed in pain. It pierced his ears and heart at the same time. He is used to your laugh, your smile, your shouts, your complains but your scream in pain is not the thing he ever wanted to hear. It’s too painful for him. Maybe, because he is the snipper so he is not used to hear anyone’s pain from so close. No, its because it’s you who is screaming.

“Take one more step. You will see more fresh new cuts.”

His eyes scanned your whole body, Your sleeves and edges of the dress had patches of blood. Earlier in hurry, you changed into this light peach colour dress but he didn’t expect it to be covered in dirt and blood later the night.

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Watch me.” He again cut open a line of skin on your forearm. Your scream again filled the room, deafening every other sound to his ears. Mingi balled his fist and gritted his teeth.

You haven’t asked for his help. Why? It’s because you don’t trust him or you still couldn’t believe that he was there to save you not for his mafia business.

“Mingi…please help me…”

That was the only push he needed to run towards the leader and punched him. This caused Bangchan to lose his grip on the knife and gun. He wiped off the blood from the corner of his lip and glared towards Mingi and the latter again punched him on the floor. Satisfied, he crawled towards your chair and starts to untie the ropes and chain. You were trying to stay awake but the blood loss was making it hard. Prying everything off from you, he hugged your weak body and rubbed your back.

“It’s okay, Y/n. Don’t be scared. I’m here.”

You didn’t reply but you were focusing on something, rather someone. Bangchan was pointing his gun towards Mingi’s back and when you realized, your eyes went big and you managed to switch the sides and as soon as your back facing the leader, he shot the bullet.

Who got shot?

You.

You leaned towards Mingi and held his biceps tighter. The pain was much worse than the previous cuts but somewhere you were feeling a relief that finally you would be at peace.

Bangchan ran away from the basement but that didn’t matter to the man who was in shocked to see you dying in his arms.

No. he can’t just let you die like this. He needs to apologize. He needs to make up for all the mistakes he has done.

He carried you to his car and Yunho followed him. Earlier four Ateez members followed Mingi and they helped him to attack on the District-9 basement.

“I will drive. Keep her awake until we reach hospital.”

Getting inside the car, he was calling out your name frantically and you have never seen him like this. For you.

“I want to sleep.”

“No no please. You will sleep but for a while please hold on. Don’t close your eyes please. Stay with me Y/n…”

Your cold hand reached to his cheeks and rubbed the rough skin.

“Are you crying for me? Am I being a bad wife?”

“No. you are the best wife ever someone wanted. It was me who was bad for neglecting you. Please stay with me…”

“I love you, Mingi.”

You closed your eyes and your breathing almost became faint. Mingi panicked at the situation but when Yunho pulled the car in front of the hospital. Without wasting any time, he skipped towards the emergency room with you in his arms. Of course, this was their personal Mafia Base Hospital and no one would dare to stop him.

Its been an hour when the doctor came out the room informed Mingi that you were in a critical situation as the bullet has damaged some area around it and your blood loss adding the worst possibilities to it. He was on the verge of losing control but after Yunho’s request, they let him to meet you.

You were sleeping peacefully. You wanted to sleep and now you are sleeping. He chuckled bitterly to this thought. He sat on the stool by the side of your bed and held your weak palm between his shaking ones.

“I’m sorry…”

Tears fell on the hold. Your breathings were very faint but as far as he could hear the sound, it was a little relief to him.

“I was scared, Y/n. I have seen you since the middle school and you were always the bright sunshine and I was the dark coldness. We never matched with each other but yet you smiled towards me.”

He sobbed before continuing, “When I got to know that you will be my wife. I had two feelings, one to be scared like how to take care of a family apart from the mafia life and the second, I was happy for the first time that I’m getting someone like you in my life. If the marriage was not important then I would have tried my best to keep you far away from someone like me, never to get involved with me.”

He paused for a moment to stare at you. Your beautiful face covered with cuts and now having antiseptic creams on them but he could feel the burning pain you had went through before. He caressed the side of your face and head. Smiling a little. Hoping for you to wake up and hug him and forgive him. He knows he doesn’t deserve the forgiveness so soon but just wants to see your lively face and smile once again. He needed to prove you his love and he swear he would do anything for you to see happy and not to be in this situation again. NEVER AGAIN.

“You are a treasure in my life whom I tried to protect so hard that the pressure broke it in the end. I destroyed you with my own hands. You are my queen but I caged you like a prisoner. Please wake up, Y/N. I can’t live without you. All these years, I have watched you from afar but when you are near, I am lost.”

He waited for you as if you are going to reply him back like other times. He wants you to shout at him, hit him, do whatever to make him realize your worth but he couldn’t afford to see you sleeping on a hospital bed, supported by some machines. Every drop of blood is precious than the most expensive ruby to him.

“I’m lost with you. I’m lost without you. For you I’m lost. I love you, Y/n. You are the only warmth in my cold life.”

‘I love you, Mingi.’ This was the last thing he heard faintly from you and your voice echoing inside his head.

“Please, don’t leave me. I want to change myself for you.” He planted a soft kiss on the back of your hand and tears falling from his eyes continuously.

You need to wake up or his coldness will make him lost in the void from where no one can ever bring him back. You are his first love and you can’t be the first reason to hate love.

I hope you liked it anon <3. I was really down while writing it coz about that post who insulted me for writing ffs so If the fic is not how you wanted then please wait for other fics, I will surely try to do better.

Taglist: @mymoodwriting @justhere4kpop @anyamaris @yeoobin @icchyi @jwnghyuns @piratequeen-queenofgames @dinonuguaegi @oreharuuu @hwanring @sanwifesstuff @kiwiisnthereoops @kiwiraccoon @hyuukah @kazscara @aceofspadesbiofalltrades [open!]

are the requests stil open?😭 if yes then can I request a mafia mingi x reader pregnancy trope? maybe he doesn’t want the child so they get into an argument and kicks her out. Months later mingi is chasing her back 🥹 thank you🤍🤍 angst to fluf please ! ^^

Lets Begin Again

Pairing: Mafia husband! Mingi x Wife!reader

Genre: Angst, Mafia, Family au, Fluff

W.C: 3.6k

Warnings: arguments b/w husband and wife, mention of abortion, lonely days of pregnancy, Regret. Mingi loves his son a lot. Reunion of family. Forgiveness.

Networks: @cultofdionysusnet @k-vanity

Note: please I want to thanks to people for reading and reblogging. Reviews are always appreciated . Applause to the ones who come up to me to interact and they know how friendly I am. Okay enough!

Half of your soul being excited and other half being nervous. Of course, the news was a life changing for you and that meant there would be new responsibilities and new beginnings but mainly you were repeating to yourself how to deliver this news to your husband. He was busy in the mafia business for last one month and you were trying to tell him, but he was always dodging you like he would listen to you next time. Today, he had earlier texted you that he would be coming home early as they had succeeded in their mission and their leader had allowed them to go off and rest for couple of days. And that should be your opportunity to tell him. Tell him that how lucky both of you are going to be. It’s going to be a happy moment for both of you. Or it’s going to be something else.

As soon as you heard the doorbell, your eyes lit up with excitement and you skipped towards the door to greet your husband who was back to you, to his home.

And there, him standing tired and exhausted but still smiling dearly at you. You greeted him back with the same gestures and welcomed him inside.

“I see that you are happy to see me early.” He asked you while placing his shoes aside.

You nodded and kept his bag on the stand, “of course, Mingi. Whenever you come back home, it feels like I have missed you so much.”

He chuckled and pulled you closer to him, “I missed you too, Y/n.” You could smell his cologne and it was comforting.

You tried to pull away but he held you tighter, “Hey, go freshen up. I will prepare some food for you. And…just go.”

“And? Just say it now. You are going to say something so just say it.” He asked you in a low voice and you rested your palms over his chest. Eyes shining and teeth nibbling the lips.

“Mingi……We are going to start our family in a new way.”

“New way? What do you mean by that?” He had a frown on his face but still managed to put on a smile.

“You are going to be a father.” You happily squealed in the end of the statement. You stared at him, to see his reaction on hearing the news of your baby. Your anticipating eyes somehow dropped to see him serious. Just cold, no more emotion on his face. No more smiling at you. “Mingi…”

His hold loosened his grip and moved back from you, leaving you confused.

“What do you mean?” He asked you in an unsure tone and looked away from you.

“I’m pregnant, babe.”

“and since when did you know about this?”

“last month. It's been almost two months old...”

He chuckled, but not amusedly, he was annoyed. He brushed back his hairs and heavily sighed.

“So, there’s still time for abortion.” He stared straight at your eyes.

“What?” you were more confused with his statement. Did you hear it right? He mentioned about abortion. Right? That did only mean that he was not happy with the news.

“You…you don’t want the baby?”

“Of course not. Get rid of that thing.” He spat it out harshly.

You gripped the sofa tightly and sink deeper into the leather when your back of the knee hit the sofa. The leather was of smooth texture but it was stinging your skin harshly like his words to you. You waited for one month to say this, only to hear him telling you to get rid of this.

“Thing?...This… this is our baby…our-“

“Stop it, Y/n!” You flinched at the loud voice. “I just don’t want to hear anything more regarding this topic. You are going for an abortion tomorrow and that’s final. End of this discussion.”

You didn’t reply him anything but just staring at him in disbelief. You couldn’t believe that the man who shouted at you was your once loving boyfriend whom you have married five years ago and never ever treated you less than a doll in his house. If you had done anything wrong then also, he would have put on a smile and would teach you the right thing and would fill you with kisses and cuddles.

Did something happen that suddenly he is acting this way?

He slammed the bedroom shut, leaving you alone in the living room with you and your thoughts. Tears flowing down your eyes and you didn’t care to wipe them off but clutched your fists above your knees. Does he not care to have this child? But why? Is he not happy with having a child?

Time passed and you didn’t notice how you fell asleep on the sofa. You heard some shuffling sounds and you sat up.

“Sorry, I didn’t want to wake you up.”

“Mingi…Do you not want the baby?” You asked quietly. He was calm than before but you were not sure if he would listen to anything related to it.

“Stop it. Tomorrow, you are going to the hospital with me and I don’t want to hear anything else from you.” He spoke in a tone of authority, keeping the strong eye contact with you.

Your eyes looked tired and shocked to see your husband acting this way. Your world seemed to be falling apart. This is the most important part of your life. This is the connection between you both then why this is unwanted.

“This is our baby, Mingi.”

“Not needed. Our life is better without any baby so without getting any further with this conversation, we are going to hospital and you are aborting it. Got it?”

“No. I’m not doing this.”

“Are you really talking back to me on this?” He raised his eyebrows, tilting his head in a daring way to challenge you to speak more.

“Yes. I am stating my true points unlike you who is running away from his responsibilities.”

“Y/N!”

Standing on your feet, you walked towards him, “Enough. I don’t want to hear further anything about this. If you don’t want this then I’m keeping and will take care of him. All Alone”

Your hot tears pooled in your eyes, shaking and threatened to fall anytime smoothly across the cheek just like the way the both of you were drifting apart from your once lovely relationship. You balled your fist and grabbed his collar of his t-shirt and looking at him in disbelief where he was daringly watching your movements.

“So, you think you can take care of yourself all alone?” Raising his eyebrows, a questionable look on his soft face.

A teardrop escapes your shaking eyes but he seemed not to care about it at this moment, only if he had seen that in other moment, he would have ripped off the skin who made you like this. But maybe he has changed. He has changed after he found out that you are pregnant.

“I can. If you don’t want this baby then fine, I will have this baby and will do take care of them on my own. I want to raise him to be a better person but never like you.”

“Y/N, you are crossing your limits.”

“Am I? And what are you doing? Running away from the responsibility and turning your back when we are ready to take a step further to our relationship.”

“Responsibility? Y/N, we can think of this another time.”

“Mingi. When you didn’t want this then why you gave me false hope and prepared my mind to accept this baby?”

You were breaking down and falling apart into thousands of pieces. The lovely and healthy relationship between you both was fading away and you didn’t know how to keep it in place anymore.

“Y/N, calm down. These are just feelings and you are overwhelmed knowing about this sudden news last month. All these will fade away.”

Calm down? Feelings will fade away? These all are his thoughts for me right now? All the promises, love talks, future plannings, bonding, everything seems fake to you now. His smile, laugh shared with you, adorable gestures to you, they all seem like just an act to you. So, he just wanted you to be his wife in this mafia world to have a high position? He didn’t care you as his love and never wanted to have a baby who can be a burden to him.

“Sure. If you don’t want any of these then fine, I’m leaving you here on your own and never try to find me.”

At this point, hot tears streaming down your eyes, your hands messily tugging the loose hair strands behind the ears. You took some steps back and ran to the bedroom. You grabbed some nearby clothes and some important things and put them in the bag and came out of the room. Seeing you, Mingi thrashed away all the things from the shelf where he was leaning. The action made a loud sound followed by shattering pieces of the fibres scattered all around the floor just like your heart was breaking with each word. You flinched and your hands trembled.

“You are leaving me? Are you serious?”

His eyes were furious and his breathing was heavy and he was contemplating the whole situation. You were standing near the stairs, gripped the stair railing for your support and watching him. The one who being a mafia never showed you his beast side in any situation is now a raging one who could burn you alive right now.

“Yes. I’m sure that leaving you here will be the good decision and have my own life far away from you.”

“If you really think that everything is so easy out there then just go. Leave me.”

He didn’t stop you as if he was waiting for you to leave fast and never want to look at you again.

“You made me dreamt of forever but this is our ending. I don’t want to regret leaving you but I want you to regret every second until you realize your fault.”

And with that, you left him. Standing in the middle of the living room, furiously watching you disappearing behind the door, from where you were never going to come back.

.

.

.

“Aw my Mingyu. Don’t cry baby, mommy is here.” You were trying to put him to sleep for past thirty minutes but no matter what, he was kept crying and you were so tired because last day you had a stressful night and didn’t get enough sleep and despite your head was paining, you put on a smile on your face and trying to make him sleep.

But your smile was like a dam, hiding the flood of sadness.

You heard a faint knock. You waited silently to see if you misheard it or someone was on the other side of the door. You don’t have any visitor at this hour. If anyone, it would be either Miyeon to ask you whether you need something, she was a life savior when you came to her crying that day alone. Or it could have been maybe worse for you. Or it would be another person at your door, Renjun. He is always there to support you and help you like a sweet and caring best-friend. He comes at your place to play with your baby.

The doorbell broke your trance and your startling made the baby cry even more. Cradling the baby in your tender arms. You reached the door to open it. You knew the neighbour-hood was very safe so its better to live there alone and safe.

But as soon as you opened the door, you felt as if your world stopped, every sound deaf to your ears, everything hushed and still. The person standing in front of you was the one for whom you had cried everyday but never for once you wanted to see. You wanted to give up on your baby to get your husband back but also stepped back with the thought of raising the baby.

“Y/n….”

He almost whispered out your name. His eyes lingered over your face to recognise you, if you were the person whom he kicked out from the house. Yes. You were and standing in front of him. What does he want now? His teary gaze moved down to your baby, who was silent but still restless in your arms. Tears flowing down your eyes hearing his voice. You were watching him, only him and he was watching your baby, his baby.

“Is he…is he my son?”

My son? Did you hear right? He asked you about the baby. He was crying while watching the baby. His shaky hands raised up to touch the baby but you stepped back, leaving his hand raised. His fingers curled into a fist. He finally looked up to you.

“Please…” He was begging to you. But for what?

“Why are you…here?” Finally, you spoke. His heart ached hearing your voice after ten months. How madly he wished to hear your sweet and loving voice. You were right that he would regret every second but did you regret anything?

Yes and No. But maybe a lot of things.

“How…How are you?” He sniffed and gulped the lump down his throat. His throat was tight, not able to form any words but still he wanted to say so many things. “I mean…Both of you…How are you?”

“You don’t have to know about us. You can leave. I don’t know how come you know about this place, even when I’m in a different country but I suppose your mafia business made it possible. Neither me nor my son needs you. Leave.”

You had that same harshness like he had at the day you gave him the news of pregnancy.

“Please…I-I don’t want to go away…Please I want to…”

“You want to?...” You wanted to look strong, to shove him away. Your mind telling you to shut the door but somewhere your heart was aching to see him, telling you to hug him, hold him tight and cry the anger and loneliness out.

“I want to ask you to forgive me, Y/n. I know it’s a difficult thing for you. You can’t forgive me so easily. But please listen to me, please.”

You remain silent for few moments. The baby had fallen asleep.

You gestured him to come inside and close the door. You didn’t want your neighbours to hear the commotion at your front door. You sat on the sofa while he remained standing nearing the chair across from you. He glanced at you and his son.

“I'm sorry...I...I was scared, Y/N. I was always scared for you being in my merciless life. You are always my first priority and most important responsibility. I love you so much. I never wanted to cause any sort of little harm to you but when….when I got the news of your pregnancy, I got more scared. I thought how to welcome a new member and take more responsibility when I am always worried for you? I didn’t want to lose you again.”

You sighed. Your last kidnapping was something that triggers him everyday.

“Y/n…I didn’t mean…I don’t want the baby but I was scared. I was scared how to protect him and you from this world. Everyone out there would cause harm to someone innocent like you. And he is a little one. I haven’t had anyone so soft in my life except you. And I didn’t want him to come into this life where he would feel unsafe.”

 He thought that you were unsafe in that outside world. He was scared someone again would take you away from him. Someone would again cause you harm. Someone would scare you. Moreover, someone would harm his child. He didn’t mean to not have the child but he was scared because he didn’t know how to protect you both.

You patted the space beside you. He hesitated but your assuring eyes led his slow steps to make him sit beside you. His hopeful eyes stared back at you as you looked at him with a broken soul. Your eyes were speaking how happy you were with your son but somewhere they were not shining because the sadness was over-shadowing it.

You shifted a bit forward to hold his wrist and squeezed it in assurance that you were listening to him. You held your baby towards him and he slowly took the sleeping little one in his hold. Tears falling down his eyes and a tear drop fell on the baby’s cheek who was warmly wrapped in a blue towel cloth. No one would believe him as a mafia member who was crying helplessly in a casual grey and black t-shirt and pants with a sleeping infant in his hand.

“Are you still scared?”

“No. That day when you left me, I will never forgive myself for that...I have made up my mind. I was wrong. I should have listened to you. I should have thought about it but I kicked you out when you needed me the most.”

Yes you needed him the most but you still need him.

He was staring straight to you, “I thought about expanding our family everyday. To have a beautiful family with our children but the news seems like so sudden and early to make any decision. My messy head did not think that how much you will be hurt. I will never forgive myself for hurting you. I proved to be a bad husband and a bad father.”

“No Mingi, listen. You are going to be a great father. You are going to protect him and he is so lucky to have you. You were worried and scared and that’s why you ran away. You are a mafia member and you only know to handle every situation aggressively and that’s why you went far away from me because you did not want to hurt me. You were scared of yourself.”

“You are not angry or upset with me?”

“Hmm. I am upset. I am angry too. I was having so many emotions going through all these months but they didn’t fade away. They became strong with the time. Whenever I was alone, I felt scared but the next moment I felt nothing because I kept telling myself that no one will be there to make me feel safe. I was angry with you leaving me without hearing my side, without looking back at me to see how helpless I was. I was upset that my decision to keep this baby had broken us apart. I was upset that the reason I was crying and you being angry with me was all because of me. Because of this baby.”

Mingi hugged the baby to his chest and crying continuously. His ears and cheeks turning red to the effect and you caressed his head.

You both were scared and were weak in making a proper decision on this life note. If only you both have spoken with each other properly then today you would have been happily enjoying the moment.

“I’m sorry baby. I’m sorry to leave you and your mother that day. Please forgive me. I don’t deserve you but I want you. I need you to be in my life.”

“We deserve many things. We don’t know what we deserve and not but giving chances is a thing to see whether the outcome would be better or not. If we ever get a second chance, we should respect it to prove our previous self wrong, that we need to be better to improve things, to improve the love. The love between us.”

You smiled at him. How he missed that smile and he sadly smiled back at you.

“Now, if the baby wakes up to see his father crying like this. You are going to put him back to sleep. I see why he is such a crybaby.”

Realization hits him and he laughs out aloud with still teary eyes. You laugh along with him.

“I will protect you baby and this little one forever and now I have made up my mind that no matter how scared I will be for both of you. I’m not leaving again. I will fight the danger with keeping you both safe with me.”

“And I will always be standing strong by your side. And Mingi...I want our son to become like you. A caring and loving person.”

"No...I want him to be a perfect human being like you." You smiled at his words.

His hand caressed your cheek and leaned forward to kiss your lips. The kiss had love, loneliness, forgiveness, missing of each other. But mostly, the essence of the beginning of a new life. The baby was sleeping soundly. Those eyes and lips were totally like his father.

“He looks like you, Mingi. I missed you every day whenever I looked at him”

You both looked down to the angel in his hands. The baby he never wanted and told you to have an abortion. He was holding the baby in his hand, firmly gripping as if the baby would disappear, if he ever softens the grip.

He kissed the baby on the forehead and whispered, “I’m sorry…” and turned towards you, “What’s his name?”

“Mingyu.”

“You will be a great mother and he is so lucky to have you as his guardian. I missed some beautiful stages of our life, of our family but I don’t want to miss the days that are coming.”

“He is lucky to have both of us. He will have a wonderful life ahead.”

The baby is a blessing in both of your life and marks the beginning of the new stage of life on a happy note.

“Let’s Begin Again.” He whispered before pressing his lips again with yours.

Taglist: @mymoodwriting @justhere4kpop @anyamaris @yeoobin @icchyi @jwnghyuns @piratequeen-queenofgames @dinonuguaegi @oreharuuu @hwanring @sanwifesstuff @kiwiisnthereoops @kiwiraccoon @hyuukah @kazscara @aceofspadesbiofalltrades [open!]

Thanks for the rec! It’s good to be back after 2 months and seeing this rec😊 Ilysm💕

sobbing wheeping squelching giggling ATEEZ FIC RECOS !

@atinyreads

note: these were supposed to be a part of my previous post but tumblr said i already reached the limit :( nonetheless, here are the rest of my favorites and my recent reads <3

note: don’t forget to support (reblog/comment) the blogs who write them ^^ i do not own any of the following recommendations.

cw: some fics contain themes that might trigger you read at your own risk

genre: contains angst, smut, fluff, yandere, and mafia themes.

Hongjoong

just a phone call away by @makeitmingi

drive to survive by @bvidzsoo

love, tailored by @aravrs

only look at me by @pyramid-of-starrs

our destiny by @mi-rae07

the captain’s favourite by @edenesth

Seonghwa

from the cradle to the grave by @prodsh00ky

fire and water by @wooyoungiewritings

yandere seonghwa by @mymoodwriting

dancing with the devil by @bro-atz

your desire by @bvidzsoo

the thing about pretty boys by @wonusite

blinding pavlov by @seohwang

we know by @baek-at-it-again95

like crazy by @gyupinkys

extraterrestrial rated by @latte-fairytaekwoon

idol seonghwa x actress reader trope by @skyechild (idrk why the username isn’t popping out 😭)

Yunho

four seasons of love by @starillusion13

let’s get physical, physical by @bro-atz

who? by @todomochi-uwu

the duke’s weakness by @edenesth

Yeosang

bf yeosang by @darkphoenix07

secret relationship au by @ateezmakemeweep

mafia au by @mingsolo

winter blossom by @atzfilm

angst/fluff reaction by @ateez-writings

moonlight by @miaatiny

San

sex after argument by @darkphoenix07

time’s the charm by @jaehunnyy

morning sex by @destiny-fics

let’s get physical, physical by @bro-atz

jealousy sex by @k-hotchoisan

limitless by @sorryimananti-romantic

the jealousy game by @emeraldelysian

underneath the moon by @hee0soo

blue bird by @seonghwaddict

Mingi

who? by @todomochi-uwu

burning desire by @mi-rae07

fight or flight by @mint-yooxgi

Wooyoung

heavy is the head that wears the crown by @bvidzsoo

siren!wooyoung by @ohmyamor

12:45 by @jinisnuggets

home for the holidays by @highvern

pitiful, you’re pitiful by @songmingisthighs

blue bird by @seonghwaddict

Jongho

torn patience by @thenewblackcanvas

needy jongho by @cuddlyjongho

regret by @mi-rae07

OT8

want you back by @whimsicalwritingsandmore

poly ceo ateez by @atinycafe

Other fic recs !

NEWS FLASH! Best release in kpop history:

MIngi fic coming soon....