Best Slow Burn Ive Read In A Whileyou Got Me All Up In My Feels!

Best slow burn I’ve read in a while…you got me all up in my feels!

Chapter 6 | Highs and lows.

"watching the fire crackle through strands of your hair..”

Summary: AOT CHAPTER 130-139 MANGA SPOILERS AHEAD. You and Levi go out on an adventurous day trip before the weekend ends, and the real planning begins.

Warnings/ tags: Blood, Mentions of periods.

Wc: 10.7k

An: I wanted this chapter to feel very emotional and fluffy, I hope you guys enjoy, mwah <3

Fables Masterlist

⋘ 𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘯𝘦𝘹𝘵 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘦𝘳 ⋙

“A walk?"

"Yeah."

Levi can feel sweat gathering along his spine, and for several minutes now he's been trying to unknot his brows and fucking relax. He doesn't want to appear too blunt, or socially inept, no, mostly too uncivilised...though the feeling of this woman's hand on his thigh, is making his muscles tense up. He wants nothing more than to bat it away, even more so when his stomach drops, when he notices your eyes flickering to it. Levi's just never really had women be so forward with him, maybe you? But you're different.

He gulps, now asking himself how he'd feel if he came home to see you so close with a man that isn't him. He quickly concludes that he'd probably break the mans fingers and have a cup of tea afterwards. So he moves aside, crossing his thighs together to remove her sullying touch, he doesn't want anyone else touching his body, only you.

Is he turned on? Why is he fidgeting like that?

"So, what's this?" Your smile is aching your cheeks already, your mood immediately dampened by how weirdly picture perfect they look together.

"She's showing me her camera."

Yeah? And what else.

"Oh, you want one?" you ask, fingers brushing against the documents burning a hole in your pocket.

"Yeah, I might save up for it."

You turn to Amelia, fists curling. "Soo...do you sell cameras?"

"No I don't, sell cameras." She scoffs, air quoting your words with a smirk. "I partially own the museum."

You give her the most disgruntled expression you can muster before turning to Levi, disregarding her smug reply completely. "But Onyankopon has one, you should ask him."

"W-"

"Levi was interested in mine, it's a better model. He's got a good eye for someone that didn't grow up with our technology, we were just saying that, right?" Levi just nods, silver eyes cautiously scanning you. While collapses into giggles, every word more irritatingly patronising than the last. "Wait, wait, hadn't he mentioned it to you?"

"No, but that night when we left we came home and went straight to bed, so I guess he forgot, I don't think he was thinking about cameras..." Levi smirks.

That shut her up.

"Well did you frame the photo I took? Like you said you would."

"We haven't found a frame yet, so it's just beside our bed instead right now."

Now that definitely shut her up.

"On our nightstand."

"Well...I'll be going now guys!" She turns to Levi, voice sickeningly sweet, as she twirls together strands of her peroxide sodden hair. "I'd forgotten that you don't live here alone."

"Why? Am I interrupting something Amelia?"

"No no, of course not, anyway! I've gotta go, things to do. Hope to see you soon Levi!...And you [name]!" She quickly scrambles to her feet and hurries past you, heels clicking on the linoleum.

And when you finally hear the front door slam, you plonk yourself down onto the sofa, eyes boring into his. "I'm confused, what the hell was that? You wanna explain why she's in my house?"

He shrugs. "I told her you might like a camera."

To him, you'd spent ages clinging onto all of those pictures of Hange and the cadets, when life was so chaotic, he wants to document your peaceful life together now. He wants you to have that to hold on to, something good, something you both created together, because he thinks the mundane with you is what really matters. No, he knows it.

"Yeah, a camera would be great, but I mean how the hell does she know where we live? What happened to not wanting to wake up to a knife to our throats."

He sighs, standing up and heading for the kettle. "Well I told her, obviously. And I doubt she's a trained killer [name], she's harmless."

"Harmless?" you cackle, "Definitely. Her act is fucking transparent."

Levi's only half in tune with the conversation, he's still trying to hide his joy and amusement in the fact you said, 'our bed'. He doesn't allow his mind to stretch far with you, he doesn't like it wandering onto fantastical scenarios, that he dreads may never happen. But he's sure that if he's not just thinking too hard, or thinking too much of himself. That you're fucking jealous right now, and he's soaking every second of it up.

"She's not gonna kill anyone."

"So the other night, that's what you were speaking about with her then?"

"She lives in the area, so, I thought it'd be...neighbourly, what's wrong with that?"

You glare at him, and he knows why, he avoided your question. "We already have neighbours, we need to get to know them."

"From the start you wanted us to integrate here, so that's what I'm doing, what's the problem?"

"I didn't mean with people like her."

"What's wrong with her?"

"Oh nothing, she's obviously so nice, coming over uninvited like that!"

He places his cup down and approaches you slowly, grabbing your hand. "Why are you getting mad with me?"

"I'm not, it's just I've come back home to you, and she's just here...like that and..."

You're mine.

He drops your wrist, returning to the kettle to pick through his tea leaves. "It was nothing like that [name], she's just...weird."

"I just seemed to have interrupted...something."

"You didn't. She was showing me her camera, she was passing by, that's all." he states firmly.

"You're free to live as you please, I'm glad you're socialising, seriously."

He huffs into the sink, wiping the frown from his lips as he turns to face you. He wants you to tell him how bad you want him, why won't you? Why can't you? That's why you're pressing this so much, because you are jealous right? Maybe if you just said those words, he wouldn't feel so turned inside out by the fear of his own feelings.

"She came over with no warning, I hadn't expected it either...sorry." he mumbles. Great, now you feel guilty.

"It's fine, I'm happy you've made a friend."

"I was hardly looking for one." He smirks, walking up to you, grabbing the sides of his coat and pulling you closer with them. "Where did you and Onyankopon go anyway?"

The blue of his eyes are so mesmerising in this light today, and so damn distracting. His natural charm is overwhelming sometimes, and his aura is intoxicating so close, it's making you choke on air. Finally, you release a much needed breath, smiling ever so reluctantly at him. (But ultimately you're sweetened). "Oh yeah."

The shop, the shop, the shop!

"Oh yeah? Tell me then." he answers, grabbing your teacup from the cupboard.

You tug his arm and he almost drops your teacup, making him sigh, and then playfully swat you from the shock. "I have a surprise for you, it's from Pon, come with me! It's big!"

He laughs. "Careful! I'm making tea."

"Your tea can wait, get your shoes on. Right now, right now, right now!" He lets you pull him toward the coat hooks and force him to hurry into his boots and coat. You chuckle when he pulls his turtleneck right up to his ears. "Levi, fuck sake, it's not that cold."

"Yeah whatever, why are you rushing me? Where are we going anyway?"

"I'll show you."

As you pull Levi through the streets, he mostly stays quiet, face turned to yours with a mix of curiosity and affection. "We're not going into town? Where then?" he asks, still letting you silently weave him through the crowds of working people and school kids heading home. "Why are we going down here?"

"Stop asking so many questions!" you yell in excitement, nearing the corner of the street.

"Fine, wait...here?"

When you arrive, you quickly mirror Onyankopon, running up to it and waving your hands about while he stands before you, more confused than you were. He sighs, then shakes his head and you frown, asking yourself if he's disappointed. "No, I'm not breaking in there with you."

"Wait...what? That's seriously your first thought! Why would that be the surprise? Idiot." you splutter.

"Yeah, why else would you bring us to an abandoned shop just a corner away from the town centre?" Your giggles continue as you issue him over and start unlocking the door. "[Name]? Where's that key from? What are you playing at?"

You only smile, ignoring him as you open the door and pull him inside. "Now! Have a look in here!"

He covers his nose out of precaution but when he breathes in the air of it he's already convinced. "No dust, interesting." He runs his hand over the counter and you watch the immediate smile that rises and pulls at the corners of his pretty mouth. "It's a good space, it's clean, what's it for?"

"Pon wanted me to show it to you, because...ah, just look!" You pass him the deeds from your pocket, and watch his face as he scans over the documents. "Levi?" He extends his arm out, shaking his head and cupping the back of yours as if to quiet you, as his eyes dart over the words in disbelief.

It stirs something deep inside of you when he gasps loudly, and lets all of the papers fall to the floor. Before he grabs you and pulls you into an impossibly tight embrace, squishing your face right into his chest. "Levi! Did you see? It's ours, yours, your very own tea shop, we can make it our own-"

"Levi Ackerman's and [name]'s." he quotes, and you feel tears immediately prickle in your eyes, as you hold him back just as close, even though you're stumbling back against the counter from the sheer force of his grip. "Levi Ackerman's and [name's]." he repeats again, voice sounding so beautifully soft. "It's ours?"

You melt into him. "Yeah...it's ours."

Ours. Our bed, our shop, our life.

"I'm...very happy." he whispers into your ear, making you grin against him, whilst sneakily snaking your hands up into his undercut.

"Imagine how pretty it will look in here when it's raining, or when it snows and we're closing it up in the winter."

He pulls away, locking his hand through yours and walking around the room with stars in his eyes. "Tell me more."

"That display case, we could put food in it?"

He dances his deft fingers along the glass case at the counter, "Sweet things in here, for you."

"For me?" you giggle, standing back to wrap your arms around his waist as he walks.

"Yes, cookies, chocolate ones, ginger ones, oatmeal ones."

"We could cook them together?"

"We could, I'm sure we could pull it off."

"Mm and how about that?" You point up at the bare bricked wall behind it. "A black board there, we can write our menu on it."

"We could make menus too...your handwriting would look the best."

"You think?"

"You could do some of your drawings on them too."

"What would I draw on them?"

"Anything, you know you could do it."

"Wait, what about plants! Levi, plants in here! Everywhere?"

"Yeah, that'd look good, but wait..." You felt this coming. "how much do we owe Onyankopon? I really wanna thank him for this, we'll set up a payment contract, our next government payment comes in soon-"

"He says he pulled some strings and that we owe him nothing." He stops, pulling you from behind him.

"What, seriously? He can't mean that."

"He said he pulled some strings and that it's not anything we need to worry about, he means it, but don't worry we will thank him! He said he's gonna be busy for the next for days, so we'll have to wait, you know how it is... government stuff."

"What, he doesn't want anything in return?"

"No, but...are you still happy?"

"I am, am I not showing it?" he asks, shyly rubbing his nape.

"Of course you are, so...can we go and celebrate this victory then!?"

"Yes we can, and then Monday we'll begin making this..." Our own. "work." He gathers the papers fallen on the floor and lays them on the counter, beaming at you.

"Yay! Let's go! Medley!?"

"Let's go." You squeal as he shifts his hands under you and bridal carries you out of the door, closing it with you still in his arms. He smiles down at you, his heart daring to hope, he's sure he's never been so damn happy. "This will be good?"

"Yes, yes it will be, it's gonna be me and you, partners again!"

"We're always partners." he scoffs, slotting the keys into his pocket and letting you down.

Yeah, 'partners'...captain's? Lovers?

You hum cheerily in agreement, though as you link arms walking over to The Medley, you wonder how far lovers and partners are apart, the respect is the same, its equal.

You both stop in front of it, fondness in your eyes, it's been a while since you've been here, you'd missed the black and white furnishings of it, golden letters bold on its entrance beam. And when you walk in you're quickly met with Tom's beaming smile, and the unforgettably warm atmosphere of the place, fire crackling, burgundy leather seats freshly waxed. "Fuck! Long time no see!"

"Hey Tom!"

"Hey you two! How are things?"

"Great actually, it's good to see you. We'll have two beers please?" Levi asks, spirits raised as he pulls his money from his pocket and places it in Tom's hands.

"Levi! Top shelf today? Why you guys so merry on this fine Friday ay?" he chirps, pouring your pints and setting them in front of you. "This is a fresh keg of Ross T beer too, just come in." he whispers, before chuckling at Levi's face. "Don't worry Levi, I won't serve this one as much as last time."

"Thanks."

You playfully punch Levi's arm. "Hey! Aren't we supposed to be celebrating."

"Oh my god? Celebrating? Levi man! You finally proposed?"

Levi drops his head in his hands with a huge sigh, glaring up at him through splayed fingers. "Tom."

"[Name]...help me here before Levi kills me."

"We, are...opening a business! A tea shop!"

"Wow! Congrats guys! Now Levi can finally stop bitching about there being no tea in here!"

"Yes Tom I know why, because this is a bar, I do understand." he grumbles.

"Yeah well it took you long enough." Tom's wife Mina, emerges from the back room and joins his side, arm slung around his waist. "Speaking of long enough, sleeping beauty here is finally awake."

"Hey Mina!"

"Hey!" She turns to Tom, trying to control her laughter. "Honey, the cats have scratched all the fresh paint again."

"Ugh, give me a sec guys." He pecks her cheek and leaves you all in laughter.

"So you oldies are drinking today?" she asks, brow cocked as she tightens her checked work apron and corset.

Levi takes a large sip of his pint. "Watch it."

"They're celebrating baby, they're opening a tea shop!" Tom yells.

"No way! Good move! What are you guys gonna call it?"

You both curse in unison. "Oh shit."

"Seriously guys? Well, it took us long enough to name this place though, right hon?"

"Yeah! It really did."

"Shit...Levi, think of something."

"You, you're much better with these things!" he hisses.

The door jolts open, causing all of the seated patrons around you to jump and whip their heads to the exit. "Ah, the Friday rush is here my lovelies." A cluster of customers begin to barge in and Mina quickly grabs your pints, running them over to the best booth in the house. "Quick guys!"

"Always good while it lasts, eh?" Tom calls over, already doing tricks with his cocktail shaker, for no doubt a martini for some rich asshole.

"Yeah!" You chuckle back, both of you thanking Mina before she runs behind the bar to help her lover. You watch with a swelling heart as she adjusts his waistcoat, before grabbing a handful of pint glasses and garnishing ingredients.

You turn back to a thoughtful Levi before you, fingers trailing up and down his glass. "What will we call it?" He frowns, and you notice him chewing at his lip as you steadily down your pint.

"What do you think, they'd call it?" you ask, grabbing his bunched first and curling your fingers through it.

"Erwin? He'd definitely call it the scouts or something, Hange?"

"Sawney and Beane for sure." You giggle, stopping when you remember the letter, and what they'd asked you to reserve those names for. "But its not like we can actually use those!"

Levi practically snorts over his drink. "Why? It might actually sound good."

You sigh, you can hardly say, 'If we have kids...somehow! Hange has made me promise to call them those names, but hey! It's okay, they only asked for them to be their middle names!'

"No! Something else."

"I don't know, those were good."

"There's better, I'm sure...and we want it to be seen as a tea shop right, so let's think more around that."

"Okay, okay I'm thinking."

"But we could also make it personal...ah, this is tough."

Minutes goes by of both of you squinting in concentration, trying to magic up a name until Levi breaks the silence. "You said personal? I liked the sound of our names."

Together.

You bashfully avoid his gaze. "Yeah, me too, what about...our last names?"

"I like that, Ackerman's and-"

"I don't like my last name though, so let's just use yours."

"But will it feel like your place then?"

"Yeah, 'Ackerman's' I like it."

"Your name might change in the future anyway." You choke on your beer and he leans over to rub your back, wiping at your mouth with his sweatshirt sleeve. "Your last name?"

You giggle. "Yeah, I understand."

"Then it will fit both of us." he adds nonchalantly.

You lick your lips, eyeing his almost empty pint, and then him, his eyelids practically twitching shut already. He chuckles. "You're gonna catch flies."

"You haven't eaten have you?"

"I did but I worked out after."

"That's why its going straight to your head."

"It helps me say things."

You grin. "Yep, I know."

He finishes the rest of his glass and waves Mina over for another, coughing into his sleeve. "This shits potent though."

After a few more hours and rounds of bitter Ross T beer, you're both hazy and merry, arguing over what colour to paint Ackerman's walls. And every time you try to cut Levi off from another, he swears fervently that it's because you're both celebrating.

You're finally done with him, when he's been picking at the same cold bowl of potato skins for an hour. So you stand up, tugging him up along with you. "I no longer have brats I'm responsible for, so I like to enjoy a drink with you." he slurs.

"So do I, but I have a belly ache, can we go?"

He's up within seconds, immediately sobered and dragging you with him to the exit, already waving at Mina and Tom, "Ross T!" you yell, and they repeat it back to you with giggles and a thumbs up as Levi lolls into the crook of your neck. Not only does the alcohol here get him drunk, but a year into your life here, his alcohol tolerance rumour was dispelled. He can get drunk, always has been able to in fact, but he just never felt comfortable back in Paradis, he wanted to be ready to fulfil his duty at any given moment.

"Why does your stomach hurt?" he asks, head tossed up to the stars.

"I don't know, maybe it was the chicken."

"I had some and I'm fine, was probably the beer."

"Yeah, could be."

********

When you get home, Levi is tottering, falling back on the sofa and wrapping himself up in the blankets, "Does your stomach feel better?"

"Kinda."

"Can you read the moon one then?" he yawns, pointing to the fable book still waiting patiently on the coffee table. "Please?" He stretches his arm out to you and you cannot resist the invitation, obviously. So within seconds you're clambering into the warmth with him, getting comfy under the blanket beside him, and letting him clumsily snake his heavy hand up to rest into the back of your hair.

"He said, "Your face is very beautiful. I wish that you would come to me, and that my face would be as your face. Your motions are gentle and full of grace. Come with me and we will be as one—and perfect. I know that even the worst people in all the world would have only to look at you and they would love you. Tell me, how did you come to be so beautiful?"

You read away for a while, and as you speak the romantic words, Levi imagines you saying them to him, like a love confession of sorts. Letting himself bask in his latent need for you, clinging to you, having now even somehow migrated to being drunkenly sprawled over you, lashes tickling your belly, nose leant on your skin.

"Is this helping?" he asks, eyes gleaming up at you in earnest. You breathe in the sight of him on your lap, his cheek resting cosily against your abdomen with an arm reached up, a single finger dragging along your collarbone. Softie.

"Yes, stay right there." Reassured, he nods, waiting for you to continue.

As you read further through the book you debate each one, and when you read 'Belling the Cat', you're both stumped. "Well one of the mice have to put a bell on it, or the cat will keep killing them all."

He laughs, the deep vibrations against your skin making you feel closer to him than ever, your bodies are moulded so comfortably, that you're unsure through your sleepy eyes, of where you end and he starts. "How the hell is a mouse gonna put a bell on on a cat anyway? No wonder the mice are dropping like flies, they're stupid."

"You'd abandon your fellow mice?" You're both laughing with sleepy giddiness now, words teetering on nonsensical. "And let me be eaten by the cat?"

"Silly woman, the mice not you." You stroke through his hair and he repositions his chin to look at you properly, hands grasping onto the hem of your sweater. "How's your stomach feel now?"

"Now it just hurts from all the laughing."

"Good, then now its time for bed."

You don't end up in your own bed tonight, of course. Every night since Sasha's, you've taken a half-assed amble towards your own room, normally after brushing your teeth alongside him. Every time after this, he's just wordlessly pulled you toward him, making you follow him to his bed.

Tonight you decide to mention it.

"I'm always in here now Levi aren't I?" you whisper, locking your arms around his neck.

He reaches his arm back, looping it around your neck, happy that you're behind him to miss the stupid grin on his lips. "Good. It's ours." he mumbles.

How is it you always manage to reassure me?

********

The smell of bacon wafts through your nostrils as you stretch, it smells sweet, maybe even cured and supplied from the the Maxwell butchers in town. Your favourite butchers, that devil. So you eagerly clamber to your feet to get half ready. But you're so curious you end up just throwing your robe on and breezing into the kitchen still brushing your teeth. "Morning."

"Morning." Your smile blooms almost instantly, watching him fix the last of your plate before sliding it across the kitchen bar. "You made all this for me! I've been craving bacon." you gargle.

"Yes I know, hurry with your teeth, it's getting cold." You run into the bathroom and spit your toothpaste out, before running back in and hopping up on your stool. He's made you toast, a fried egg, and you're sure your favourite bacon.

He smiles smugly, ruffling your bedhead. "Yes it is Maxwell's bacon."

You crack him a cheeky grin. "I knew it. You splurged?"

"Maybe." He opens the fridge and produces a large glass bottle of orange juice. "When your mouth isn't so minty, there's this too."

"Oh my, Levi, what's the occasion? Are we still celebrating?"

He walks up behind you, sliding one of your silk scarves over your eyes and tying it gently. "We have a big day ahead of us." You go to peek through his makeshift blindfold and he gently taps your hand away, "Give me a moment."

You hear his steps disappear behind you, and continue to eat your breakfast, buzzing with anticipation. "You cooked this bacon perfectly! Eggs amazing too!"

"Good, eat up!"

He re-enters the room, nearing closer, before you hear large metallic clunking sounds clattering down onto the coffee table. Though light on his feet, you still feel his shadow cast over your skin as he approaches behind you and swivels your chair around, prompting you up to walk with a tender nudge. "What do you think is on the table?"

"I don't know, I'm nervous."

He unties the scarf from your eyes, with a gentle spring of his finger. "Have a look."

"Oh my god! Did Onyankopon bring us all of this? He works fast."

"What huh, no? Shit, this was supposed to be a surprise, Amelia dropped this off this morning."

"This was supposed to be a surprise for you? What are you talking about?"

"How? I asked her for this back at the restaurant idiot."

"Oh! So this is why she was here yesterday?"

You collapse into laughter, leant on his shoulder as you ogle the ODM gear in front of you. "Yeah, I paid her for it!"

You pick up one of the tanks of gas, running your hands over it's smooth exterior. "You did? Levi! There's three tanks of gas here, how much was all of this!?"

"Don't you worry about that, but why the hell do you think Onyankopon brought this?"

"Because I asked him yesterday, I wanted to do the same thing for you!"

"Seriously?"

"Seriously, I thought you might miss it."

"I do." He sorts through the gear beside you, beaming as you smile so brightly at his side.

"Great minds think alike."

"Indeed they do, now come on. We'll get ready and go out into some woods to use it."

"I'm finishing my breakfast first thank you." you chirp, giving him a quick hug and jumping back up to the table to finish it. He almost skips with joy beside you.

"If you're not hungry you know...don't force yourself, if your stomach still hurts." he says as he joins you, popping another slice of bread under the grill.

"It doesn't really hurt anymore, must have been that beer, cos I'm going to eat every last bite of this."

His cheeks flush. "Okay, glad you're enjoying it, c-cos you need to fuel up, we'll be getting the train."

"Really? Where to?"

"To a forest close to the border."

"I cant wait, I hope I haven't forgotten how to use it." you squeal.

"I don't think so."

"But Levi, why didn't you ask one of the cadets to bring you some?"

"I don't know, honestly I just wanted to surprise you, so I didn't want to risk them telling you, and it'd take too long anyway I'm sure they're travelling right now."

"Ah, makes sense, I just hope you didn't have to pay her too much."

"I didn't, though we will have to visit that fucking museum now."

"Levi!"

"I know."

************

As the train bumbles along, calm green expanses of fields, hay bales and farm animals blurred by the train windows, have you and Levi completely engrossed. Until he loudly crumples up the paper bags to your lunches, he loves the fish and chip stand by the train station and insisted on chips for lunch. "So...we'll be getting of in a small town called Craven."

"Got it, are there many guards and police there?" you ask excitedly, wiping away the salt coating your fingers with the endless stream of napkins he's throwing into your lap.

"Amelia said not so much, but I've packed our veteran passes anyway."

"She seems to really like you."

"I'm sure she'll like anyone that puts money into her pocket."

She likes—you, you idiot.

You huff, now aggressively wiping at your hands at the mention. "Are you so oblivious to think that she isn't attracted to you?" He clears his throat, fingers tracing over the folds of his cravat, tucking it closer down his collar.

"Why would I care about that? Come on, it's the next stop."

After the fairly short train journey, you and Levi step off the platform and head out of Craven's station. You cannot say you and Levi don't look suspicious with your large bags of gear in hand, and the looks you're both garnering certainly attest to that. In particular, Levi notices a man staring at you, and he grabs your hand, glaring at him. Before turning back to the travel map on the station's board, tongue jutting in concentration as he scans through. "The forests only ten minutes away, let's go."

"Yay!" You and Levi follow the arrowhead signs pointed toward the forest, eventually passing less and less people until you see the big wooden sign outside of it. 'Craven Grounds.'

"Where is everybody?"

"They used to use this forest for Titan training years ago, according to Amelia people are too afraid of coming here now."

"What like the young warriors did?"

"Exactly."

You cackle. "What? Are they worried their feet will touch the soil and they'll turn into fucking Titans or something."

"Exactly that, people are still so paranoid, but lucky for us it gives us plenty of space."

"Ah here we go." Two tall and burly men in official Liberio uniform, slowly emerge from behind the sign to greet you both, meeting you halfway on the gravel path.

"Good afternoon folks! What's your business here?" asks the first officer, his auburn hair glinting in the sun. "Not here to bury a body are ya?"

The brunette beside him laughs until he pauses, eyes fixing on Levi's scars. "Oh my god! Ben! It's Levi!"

You and Levi turn to each other, figuratively facepalming, sometimes you forget how famous you've both become, and how much most Marylean people respect you both too. "The male Ackerman!?"

"Yes-the strongest fucking male soldier from Paradis! The male Ackerman yes, fuck!" He turns back to Levi, hand zealously outstretched, back impossibly straightened. "Pleased to meet you sir! It's an honour."

Levi only nods, tentatively shaking his hand. "And you're [name] right? You look a little different from the papers."

You smile at them both as they both eagerly shake your hands too, "It's me, hairs just different."

"It makes sense, you probably wanted to blend in with the Liberio style right?"

You laugh awkwardly, eyes averting to the ground. "No, not really."

"Well Paradis has its own styles now too right? We've seen in the papers that your home is developing..." Levi shoots him a murderous look and he almost chokes on his own tongue. "Well...ah, my daughters dating an Eldian boy! So just go right ahead!"

"Yeah! We don't discriminate! Go right ahead guys."

"Wait, but you're not actually here to bury a body...right?" The brunette man calls behind you, nervously wringing his hands together.

"We're just here to make use of some old gear before we dispose of it." Levi shouts back.

"Oh cool! Yeah sorry guys! Go ahead."

"He really does sound like a military captain when he shouts!"

"Behold, the male Ackerman!" you tease.

"Shut up." You and Levi walk through the high trees hand in hand, and as soon as you're shrouded from view, and halfway through the seas of trees, you both start to strip away your bulky clothes. He rips open the bag full of your harnesses and throws you your set, grinning when you start to expertly strap it all on in seconds. Muscle memory. But you notice he's taking a little longer, so you hold onto his hip to steady him, as he straightens his prosthetic beneath his trousers, to better slot his leg through the loop.

"Will you hold onto this for me?" He's offering you his cravat, and your eyes widen at the question. He guards it with his life and he wants you to take care of it?

"Sure, I'll zip it up safe in my pocket, t-thank you."

"Thank you." He hooks his tank to his thigh, a frown on his lips as he dithers beside you. Once you finish strapping and adjusting the last of your gear, you finally notice his stalling. "What's up?"

"I won't be able to do any of my real manoeuvres like —this."

"Then why don't you take it off?"

He stops, head tilted curiously at you. "I hadn't even thought about that."

"Makes sense right? Sit down, I'll help."

He sighs. "But I'm gonna have to take my pants off."

You swallow. "Then I'll take your pants off."

He shyly nods, sitting down onto the grass and undoing his harness buckles. "Thank you." he whispers softly, as he fumbles with his zip and then lets you work his pants down his brawny thighs. "If those guards decide to come through here right now, I will be burying some bodies after all."

"No one cares about your pretty legs, kay?"

"Leg." he corrects, playfully glaring at you.

"Oh just shut up." You unbuckle the leather straps holding his prosthetic in place and carefully pull it off. Smoothing your hands over the scars littered at the end of his thigh with tenderness.

He sighs. "Don't, I can hardly look sometimes, I don't know how Erwin did with his arm."

You look up at him and smile, and he softens. "But you're so strong?" you whisper.

And so beautiful.

"Do you not want me to look?"

"You already know the answer to that question. I'm sure the other morning was enough to show you how comfortable I am."

"Levi." A white butterfly flutters past you both and then stops to rest on Levi's shoulder. You both marvel at it, as even when he moves, it stays perched in the air beside him. "See, you're still just as nature intended, even this pretty little guy thinks so." He smiles into the back of his hand, face violently flushing. "You know, your thighs were always my favourite part of your legs anyway." you continue, as you work his pants back up his legs, and then reapply his harness straps to secure the gear back around his body.

For a few minutes he stays quiet. "What? Why?"

"Huh, you're shocked? They're nice!"

"Perv." You giggle, grabbing both of your flasks of water and tossing him his. "Even when they were skinny in my twenties?"

"Yes, of course, but I liked them best in the black uniforms, they looked...juicy." you chuckle, making him splutter on his water.

"You sound like a fucking cannibal." he teases, soaking in the breaking sun poking through the tops of the trees. "But thanks, now I don't feel so bad about...it all." About myself.

"I was just being honest, maybe I'll ask Amelia to find us those old uniforms." You offer him your hand and you both ready your fingers on the manoeuvre buttons.

"Tsk." He's blushing ferociously now. "You're an idiot."

Your eyes search each other's, butterflies swimming through your guts. "The first time we met we were on these."

"I remember, you kept going in circles on the way back."

"I still wonder what you thought of us scouts then, cos I could hardly stay straight on them, you had to teach me. I was so embarrassed."

"I thought you were an idiot, and that still hasn't changed. But I never really had the chance to teach you any of the real fun though did? Erwin always told me I wasted to much gas when I did. So you better hold on." He clicks the mechanism and lets the gear swish him through the air, taking you with him as he grabs onto your hips and hoists them over his waist. With one hand threaded through the back of your hair, he holds you against him as he expertly twists and whooshes through the trees. "Because this is how you fucking do it!"

There's truly nobody that knows this gear better.

"Oh my god I've missed this!"

You both scream out till your throats are hoarse, only breaking apart to both twirl and spin apart. "Are you enjoying yourself?" you yell to him, watching him roll into a ball and dodge through branches and trees like an obstacle course.

"Yes!" Levi is whirling through the air with ease, the barriers he now has to walking ceasing, his small frame helping him glide through the air so gracefully. "Are you?"

"Of course, I'm with you!" you yell back, stopping on a tree branch, your body is shaking and your completely drenched in sweat.

"Come on!" You wave him off, instead admiring the sounds of him faintly grunting out into the air and releasing his frustrations before you. Three tanks of gas were a good idea, he's having a fucking field day, literally.

You whistle and he does even more flips before hurtling toward you and grabbing you, "Levi! I'll fall!"

"Like I'd let that happen. Do you remember the flip I taught you?!"

You chuckle breathlessly, complete exhilarated as her speeds you both through the air. "I won't be able to do it!"

"Try it." He pauses to stop on a tree branch, and you try your best, urging your body to perform his smooth slides through nothing. But you fail, forgetting to press into the gear to keep it afloat, but then he's already behind you, steadying you.

Hands gripping your hips and flying forwards, "I know you can." he says, snaking a hand down to your thighs and pushing them up to your chest. "Tuck your knees up." He pulls back now, hands on your shoulder blades before he pushes your body upwards in the wind. "Now go!" He lets go of you and you whirl in the air, quickly catching your balance as you rocket through the tops of the trees, practically swimming through it. "Atta girl!"

He continues to cheer you on for a while, until you both tire enough you end up on the ground in a heap. "Look what I packed." you yawn, pulling out an old picnic blanket from your rucksack. You lay it on the ground and you both cluster together, the breeze a pleasant accompaniment to your heaving chests and sticky skin.

"Good thinking." he mumbles.

"How did we do this before?" You giggle, wiping the sweat from your face with your sleeve.

"Asking myself the same question."

"We haven't even used all the gas though Levi, and I don't want to waste it."

"It's fine, we'll get a storage locker, it's about five minutes left from here."

You sit yourself up on your elbows, peering down at him in surprise. "What? You've really planned this haven't you?"

"I have, and are you cold? Wanna get going?"

"Yeah, and it's getting dark, come here." You lean over to help him with his pants, and at first he starts to unbutton them for you, but then he just gives up, lounging back with his arms propped under his head. "Thanks for the help."

He smirks. "No problem." Once you get his pants down to his knees, you look up at him and he cocks an eye open. "Pervert."

"How'd ya know?" You grab onto his thighs and squeeze them, giggling at his glare. "Careful, we are all alone here Levi."

"Idiot, put my pants back on, it's cold."

So he says, but he's just worried if your hand goes any further he might just expose himself, the blood is running south, quick. Your hands are just too fucking soft. "I'll just look at them later."

"Tsk." You secure the straps of his prosthetic around his thigh and prop it back comfortably on his leg, and once you're done you work his pants back up again.

"There you go grandpa. All done."

"Old lady."

You both groan as you stand up, falling against each other from the exertion of the day, and when he sees your leg buckle, oh he just can't help it. He just has to knee your thigh, causing you to fall over the heavy bag of gear you have swinging from one arm. "Ow! Levi."

He chuckles. "What? I'm just an innocent old man." You make no effort to get up, so he scoops you up and throws you over his shoulder.

"Don't strain your back gramps."

"Don't push it." When you reach the entrance of the forest, the sky is darkened, and the stars are roaming freely above you both. Luckily, the guards are gone too, so you set out to the storage locker building.

Levi does all the talking with the receptionist, signing through the paperwork so you both can hurry and return home, toes beyond frozen.

As you watch the queue, you notice that the place seems to be used predominantly for the exchanging and stashing of imported goods. Because there's a giant bearded man lugging several Ross T kegs, and a tall, slender woman behind him, holding a concealed large scale canvas protectively to her chest. And as Levi urges you to follow him to your allocated locker, you cannot pry your eyes from her, she's wearing a type of hat you've never seen before, and her suit is truly extravagant, it's a combination of a blazer and a skirt. And you think she looks fucking cool. "Levi, look at her." you hiss, listening out to hear her voice as she speaks to the clerk, she tells them that she is from a place named France, and you make a mental note to visit there one day. F-r-a-n-c-e.

You're given locker '201'. It almost looks like a mini vault, and it's the perfect size for you both to stuff your hefty duffels of gear in them and go on your way. Levi smiles longingly, as you both lock it all away, both feeling bittersweet. "We'll come back soon, promise." he says, passing you one of the keys to it as you start to head out to Craven's train station.

"We will."

The streets are dark and it's a ghost town, and Levi watches over his shoulder as you both navigate through it, his hand in yours locked tight.

When you reach the station, both your tickets are already in his hand, prepared, and he leads both to the correct bench for your platform. 'Craven Town to Liberio City Hall: Platform 7.' From the corner of your eye you notice him fiddling with his collar, plucking the fabric with unease, until you watch a silent "Ahh' form on his lips. He turns to you, "My cravat, can I have it back now please?" Knew it.

"Yeah sure." You reach for the zip on your pocket and gasp when you find it open. Oh fuck, oh fuck, no.

He scoffs. Keeping his hand held out to you, while he eyes the train tracks with curbed suspicion, he still doesn't believe they're very safe and he'd have happily walked, but he knows that you like them, because Hange did. "Very funny, pass it here."

"Levi, it's...not here."

His attention is immediately on you all at once, hands forcing themselves into your pockets. "You put it in your pocket right? Or did you leave it back in the locker?"

"No, no I didn't I had it inside this pocket right here." you stammer, helping him rip all of your pockets inside out. "It's not here, this is where I left it."

His teeth grit and you see that vein in his neck pulse as he starts to snap. "What? So it's gone? What are you talking about?"

"Maybe its in the storage locker!"

His voice is quickly growing louder and angrier and it's making you feel fucking sick. "Maybe? Is it, or isn't it?"

"I-"

"It's there, or it's not!"

"I didn't move it from my pocket!" You rise to your feet, immediately energised by the discovery as you zip up your coat ready. "We'll go look for it, I'm so sorry Levi, I'll go and look for it tomorrow when it's light too, gives us a better chan-"

"We'd never find it, who knows where that blew to! For years I kept that [name], through everything, I swore I'd never lose it."

"Levi, I'm so sorry."

You tremble on the spot, watching as he buries his face into his hands, no words leaving his lips, only defeated huffs and puffs that speak for themselves. You're heart is racing, and you feel sick.

He runs his hands through his hair a last time, before tilting his eyes up at you, and intently regarding you for a moment. "Just sit back down, it's fine. There's nothing that can be done about it."

After a few seconds under his gaze, you apprehensively plop yourself back down beside him, too scared to reach out for his hand, even as your breaths create billowing clouds, and your teeth are practically chattering. "I'm so sorry, I was supposed to be taking care of it, and I fucking lost it, I don't know how it slipped away, truly, I'm so sorry."

"Well you're not going to lose me about it, I'm right here, and I haven't lost you. I lost a piece of fabric, and it doesn't exactly smell like her anymore, does it? It's fine [name]."

"No, I lost it." You feel a lump gathering in your throat, creating what feels like a box of never-ending tears in your larynx. But you don't want to cry right now. So you fidget instead, gnawing through your lips and splitting them so badly, that when you swipe them with the tip of your tongue, the potency of the tang oozing from them, makes you wince. "I'll make it up to you."

"It's okay, just leave it. You've apologised enough." He turns to you, brows crossed as he fishes his beeswax balm out of his pocket. Winding up the mechanism, grabbing your chin, and spreading it across your lips until they're soaked with it. "And leave those alone, it's a bad habit."

"Sorry."

"Stop it." he mutters, applying some to his own lips. You watch with extra attention as he swipes his cupids brow free of its grease when he's done. "It's cold isn't it? What you doing over there?" he barks, though with not a drop of malice to his voice. You remain stiff in your place, offering him only a sorry pout of your sealed lips. Weirdly enough you feel calmed when he gives up and just impatiently snatches both of your hands and stuffs them inside of his pocket. He keeps them shielded from the cold by splaying a palm over them too, his thumb drawing lazy shapes. "Train will be here in a minute."

****

The train ride is silent, but Levi keeps hold of your hands the entire time. And every time you glance at him a little too long, he whispers something reassuring in your ear and you relax with every utterance. "I think I've dealt with enough loss to be able to get over losing that, don't you think?" he grumbles, (he's trying to get a smile out of you). Your stomach is starting to ache again, along with your chest too, but you force yourself to smile anyway and he nods assuredly at your reflection in the window. Hand squeezing yours tighter.

The cold air hits you both like an avalanche when you step out of the train though, and for some reason you cannot help but feel a little tearful and frangible all of a sudden, the highs and lows off today seem to be closing in on you. The worry of your warmth together fading consuming you, you're anxious, and extremely so... "Look, let's get something."

So we can remember this day.

Levi pulls you over to an old couple sat waiting at their shopping stall, they're wrapped in an assortment of woolly accessories, and they look sweet, old, healthily old, and you quickly imagine them as somebody's grandparents. Wishing them the longest life possible, because people never lived so long in Paradis but they do here. You hope you and Levi will. Before you know it your brain is helplessly drawing stories of big family dinners and teen romance, before Levi taps you. They're also the last open, trying to no doubt snag the sales of the cold souls arriving from all over, a smart couple, bonded by such strategies? Maybe like you and Levi when you were Captain's fighting the...

No, when he forces you up at six in the morning to go to the grocers with him to get your favourite bread or bacon, or cider before they're snagged. Those are pretty neat strategies too.

Their table is littered with knitted goods, and the first thing that catches your eye is a cable knitted navy snood. "Good evening you two." You and Levi politely chirp a good evening back as you begin sifting through, until he stops, a green woollen beanie hat in hand.

"Blue suits you the best." you offer quietly, holding up your find to him and turning to the woman, "I'll get this please."

He ducks his head for you to put it on him and he smiles when you tuck it tight under his black overcoat. Then reaching over and pulling the green hat over your head, "I like you in green the most, I'll get this thanks."

The man suddenly clears his throat and you both turn to him, he'd felt the tenseness between you both as you'd approached, and although his wife is pleading for him to be quiet, he hardly cares. "Fran here was sweet on me in school, and she made me a hat just like that, and I still have it... keeping each other warm is important, and not just when it's cold, know what I mean son?"

"Al." his wife softly warns.

He chuckles sweetly. "I'm old is my excuse, but not my business, I get it."

You and Levi both stand in shock, unsure of what to say next until the woman speaks again. "Lovers quarrel!" she adds rather awkwardly, and Levi's had enough.

"Goodnight." he mumbles, throwing down the money, grabbing your hand and steering you both away home.

"Fucking hell." you whisper, and for the first time in what feels like hours you both laugh, falling into each other as you splutter together.

But when you finally reach home though, you're still anxious, thoughts spiralling, and the muscles in your abdomen are starting to grow relentless in their torture. You think it's stupid, but you wonder anyway if you'll lie with him tonight, maybe he doesn't even want you beside him right now? But you're so cold without him.

All is silenced, and you're ripped from your thoughts, when you feel two rough hands suddenly firmly cupping your cheeks, with that beautifully husky voice following. "I'm saying this for the last time today, okay? I am not angry with you." He presses a kiss to your forehead, not moving when he sees slow tears rolling down your cheeks. "You're unbelievable, get in."

"I feel so bad, so so bad."

"Don't." He pulls you inside and you both kick of your shoes, and he heads straight into the living room to start the fireplace and the kettle. While you seek your comfy clothes down the hall, keeping on the hat as you raid his wardrobe. "Wash your hands! The trains dirty." Levi calls from the kitchen, but it's now you're stumbling over to his bed, the aching in your stomach excruciating.

The pain is doubling you over, immobilising you as it suddenly becomes unbearable. You slump over his bed, falling down and groaning out in utter agony. "Oh shit, this, oh no, fuck."

"[Name] I've made you some hot chocolate!" You're too winded to answer, curling up into a ball and fisting Levi's thick fleece bedspread. "You better not be asleep." He lowers his voice, and if you weren't writhing so much you'd laugh. "That's right I'll speak to myself. Great."

"Come here." you whisper feebly.

"[Name]! Oi!" The pain has you gasping, the only part of your body you can focus on is the vicious stabbing in your womb. But after a few minutes of him calling your name with no reply, you dazedly hear his panicked footsteps reach the foot of his door. "What are you-" He gasps, running over to you and grabbing your face, "Hey, what you doing? What'd you do? Hey?"

You cling to him as he turns your face from side to side, slapping your cheeks gently. "Nothing, nothing!It's my period I think..." you croak, head lolling in his hold, slow tears beginning to stream down your cheeks. "Levi, I'm hurting."

His voice is shaky as he handles you, though he coos softly to you, eyes fixed to you. "You are?" He gently lies you back down on your side. "Can I check?"

You curl yourself up even tighter, nodding with your knees tucked to your chest. "Please, everywhere else feels so numb."

He slowly hitches your cardigan up, sighing at the soaked seams of your pants. "Oh dear." he whispers, immediately frowning at the sight. "It, is that."

"Oh no, now I've made a mess on your fucking bed." You begin to weep quietly. "I'm so sorry for today, I keep ruining it, what am I doing?"

He resists the urge to correct you, it's both of yours, but right now isn't the time.

"I just need to clean you up." He's chuckling and the sound makes you prick up, grasping on to his forearms.

"What? You're laughing at me?"

"Mhm, it's just a bit of blood-" His eyes widen slightly when he notices you wince, and then clutch your stomach even tighter, a deep breath leaving your lips. "You're in pain? Yes." He nervously answers his own question. "We'll have some tea, but let's get you in the bath first, okay?" He hums as he walks around the room, and grabs you some of his clothes, knowing you'll find them comfier.

"I'll go grab your stuff and start the bath." he calls out, his footsteps disappearing down the hall.

When your eyes open again, he's resting his chin on the mattress and looking up at you, tenderly stroking the back of his fingers against your cheek. "No wonder you're feeling faint, how unfair." He grimaces at your frown, he can see the guilt in your eyes before he even needs to hear it. "Don't stress, you think I mind taking care of you?"

You feel your cheeks heat, not only from the close proximity between you two, but how gentle he sounds right now, he's practically lulling you to sleep. "I don't know-"

"The answer is no."

"Well...will you carry me then? Please?" You smirk as you weakly lift your arms up, expecting him to say no. "But wait I don't wanna ruin your-" Before you can finish your sentence he's hoisting you up over him, lips brushing your ear.

"Grab those then." he whispers, pointing to the clothes and period supplies on the foot of your bed. He carries you with no complaints to the bathroom, hands massaging at the backs of your thighs. "Hot bath, and then some tea."

"Thank you."

"It's okay, I'll give you some privacy today, but if you need me, call me and I'll come."

He sets you down and closes the door quietly behind him, leaving you to bathe. The steam quickly relaxes you, and as does the sounds of him bustling around the house. You find yourself tracing the marks left from the harnesses, letting your mind wander upon the past. Until you're sick of all the miles it's running so late, and eagerly clamber out of the tub, the bath isn't warm enough either, but you know what is, who is.

When you head into the living room your teacup is beside his, and there's a steaming bowl of soup waiting for you too. And suddenly you feel like crying all over again. Damn periods. "I don't deserve you."

"Shut up." he chuckles, patting the spot beside him. "Fucking cry-baby."

"Oi."

It's tomato soup, and Levi's put two comically large wedges of bread on the side of it, though of course they're cut perfectly. You realise how hungry you are as you swallow the first mouthful, the heat settling so perfectly in your stomach. "This is amazing, thank you."

"Good, eat up." He unravels the towel hanging around your neck and rubs at your hair, while watching you with a careful eye as he sips his tea. Scanning over your features, skin plump and dewy from your bath, his sweatshirt falling loosely yet so glamorously over your collarbones. He wants to tell you just how pretty you look, but instead-"How you feeling now?"

"Better, thanks to you."

When you're finished, the pains in your stomach start again, stabbing viciously without it's warmth. And before you can even get up to put your bowl in the sink, he's already taking it from your hands, and replacing it with a painkiller instead. "I fucking hate swallowing these, but thank you." you groan, and he looks immediately angered. "But I'm taking it! Yes I know."

"Good girl."

You swallow it and then attempt to recline back and relax, but your legs are knotted and you're trembling. You're ridiculously uncomfortable even, squirming and fidgeting beside him. Though the fire is soothing as the logs crackle, and both of you gaze into the glowing firebox as you sip your teas. The silence is comfortable too, hell he doesn't even want you to talk, what if you overexert yourself? He's also simultaneously resisting the urge to ask you if you feel healthy, he's not taking his eyes of you for a second tonight, he's promised himself. He's also never really understood periods, why are they so fucking painful for women? For you? And finally he's mad, because he can't do anything to help it.

Your writhing is becoming even worse, your soft grunts making his stomach churn—"That's it." He puts his tea cup down, carefully coaxing yours away from your hand and placing them both down onto the coffee table. "Come here." he offers, patting his thigh.

"Huh?"

"Here." he breathes, pointing to his thighs. "Sit here." You wordlessly comply, getting up and sitting on his lap, not even bothering to question why, why would you?

His breath against your neck makes you weaken and tremble, so sensitive to his allure. "You trust me, don't you?" he whispers, snaking his hands under your shirt and stroking them along up your spine. You hum breathily in response, as his large hands find their place against your skin, freely kneading at your shoulders and hips."[Name] you okay?"

"Of course." You smile, pulling one of his hands down of your shoulders to kiss. "I trust you with everything. Trust you with me."

He forgets how to breathe for a moment.

"Relax more for me then." he coolly replies (after seconds of quickly gathering his composure). You involuntarily shiver when you feel his soft lips press against your nape, and then when he shifts your slightly damp hair out of the way, leaving only his breath to cover it. He can feel you beating on his thigh and he smirks. "I'm just gonna take your mind of it, okay?"

You gasp into your hand when you feel him hitch your top up even higher, your face heating up. The feeling of his lips against your skin, is electrifying. He drags those cushiony lips down your shoulder blades and spine, gently bending you forwards as he massages in tandem. His hands quickly distracting you from the dull pains zapping through your abdomen.

"You are so...fuck...you're just...you're you."

He stops his hands for a moment, kissing the back of your head in reply. "I know...you—as well."

You exhale contently, dropping your head back against his shoulder, as you grab onto the sides of his thighs. "You're so good to me."

"Yeah? Well I'll always take care of you." he whispers into your ear, his voice like silk.

Forever.

"Do you—feel obligated to? Is that why?...I wonder sometimes." you whisper back, face screwing as he rotates his thumbs into the dimples of your lower back.

Did Hange make you promise?

"Of course not, we both take care of each other. And taking care of you is like taking care of myself now, so I wouldn't exist without it."

I just love you and I'm aware of that, so I'd do anything you needed or asked me to, this is the best way I can show you.

You feel your cheeks burning, and you grow giddy at his words. "You've got me there."

He laughs sweetly, continuing his soft treatment for a while, working his hands across your back, kissing and soothing the skin, running his hands along the curves of your hips, and over your shoulders, to then down to your forearms. And every time his lips press against your skin, your heart flutters.

"Better?" he asks, and you exhale in response. "Lie the other way now then, face me." You gulp but slowly stand up, and he holds your hands as you do, like he's worried you'll fall.

As you settle down onto his lap once more, straddling his thighs, your knees closed around his hips. You realise you do feel better, deeply relaxed even, though the pain is still incessant. "I know, it's painful." he purrs, wrapping his arms around you.

"Really is." You drop your face into his neck and he smiles, watching the fire crackle through strands of your hair.

"Wrap us up." he gently commands, and you eagerly lean over for the sofa blanket and unravel it, before raising it over your shoulders like a cape and tucking it around you both, closing your warmth in together. "Mm." You grab one of his large hands, sliding it down your chest to rest against your abdomen, before collapsing into him with a smothered sigh of relief. "How's that feel?" he chuckles.

"Good, very good, so good." You feel good. You sigh, pressing it closer against your stomach. "This hurts so bad Levi. I haven't had one in so long, all these years...it used to make Hange worry so much, but with all the stress you know, I just never had them." you tell him, voice full of sleep.

"Yeah it was a while ago your last, but it's good, it means your bodies working how it should again, we should be happy."

‘We.’

"Now go to sleep."

"I don't mind the sofa tonight, but please wake me up soon, I'll need to change."

"That's fine."

"Have I ruined today?"

"No, and we'll talk tomorrow, we have things to look forward to."

"Our shop!" you sing sleepily.

"Mm, our shop."

"I'm gonna put plants everywhere." you mumble, voice trailing away.

"I'll bet."

"Levi, please..." Your words cut off, and then you're already snoring ever so slightly, out against him, and he relishes in the heat of your body on his. You're exactly where you should be.

"Good girl...my girl." he hums, nuzzling his chin in your hair. "I loved today, I promise."

MrsAckermanX 2021 ©

Livewire

PAIRING: Levi Ackerman x Reader (gender-neutral)

GENRE: angst-ish

WARNINGS: blood, gore, mentions of death, canon-level violence

Possible Season 1-3 Attack On Titan (anime) spoilers 

SUMMARY: you are so tired and Levi is so far away and the titans are so close, but you cannot give up because you are his livewire.

You were untouchable.  You were as quick and lightning and as loud as thunder and your skills were comparable to those of Captain Levi Ackerman.  You were a force to be reckoned with, not just against titans but among your comrades as well.  You took up space, you were not afraid to laugh, you did not hesitate to express your opinion.  And when you and Levi started dating you two became an unbeatable duo, like angels sent to save humanity.  

At first, all you were to him was an annoying recruit who needed to learn when to stop talking and who had too much energy.  But then he started to appreciate your unquenchable enthusiasm, he began to crave it.  Then he started to fall in love with your mannerisms, how you talked, how you ate, your very personality.  And then before either of you knew it, he had fallen in love with you.

He called you his livewire because it felt like while everybody else was worried about surviving, you were really living.  While everyone else was going through the motions you were energetic, unpredictable.  

But where did all that energy go?  Now, your bones feel as though someone is pouring sand into them and every second they get heavier.  One moment you were arcing through the air, around the side of a titan, staring into huge, bulbous eyes, wind colouring your cheeks pink; the next a monsterous hand knocked your anchors free from the surrounding trees and you went plummeting to the forest floor.  

It is safe to say that the wind was knocked out of you and now it is a task to breathe.  Your breaths sound more like wheezes and it seems like for all of the air you take in, double rushes out.  Your throat constricts and it sends trills of panic up your spine. 

You do not want to die, you are afraid of the darkness ebbing at the corner of your vision.  You want to see the sun rise tomorrow, you want to turn another one of Levi’s frowns into a smile.  But you are so tired and Levi is so far away and you do not know where your squad is.  And as the titan thunders closer a warmth blooms on your back, you cannot tell if it is blood or the water from seeping through your scout jacket.  

The titan starts to crouch, begins to reach a colossal hand towards you and you tell yourself that you need to get up.  You can feel the warmth emitting from the monster’s skin and you tell yourself that you need to move.  But in a strange kind of fever dream you remember the mountain of bodies you stand upon.  The countless lives that have been lost or sacrificed on your expense and that familiar wave of searing guilt washes over you.  

Maybe your time is up.  Maybe all of the sand has fallen and has settled.  But in that same hazy state and has ensnared your mind you hear Levi whisper livewire on your shoulder before triggering his ODM gear and zipping away, livewire as you stare up at the stars on one of those rare nights where no battles are being waged, livewire as he washes the blood out of your hair.  

And so you stand, renew your blades, and dash away as the titan’s hand crashes into the spot where you stood seconds before.  Now, standing, a trail of blood drips into your eye but you can worry about that later.  You can feel pain later because now you must fight and you must not give up.  Because you are his livewire, and livewires are not extinguished so easily. 

——–

Masterlist

——–

stressed is desserts spelled backwards.  -wynde 

thank you for reading!

i have a question… what’s wrong with spam liking?

what’s wrong with spam liking??

it does NOTHING. likes do NOTHING to support us writers. all it tells us is that you liked the story but you didn’t like it enough to reblog it and share it with your followers/friends.

and spam liking? it shows that you care even less. if you’re spam liking, at least have the decency to spam reblog. the buttons are right next to each other. it’s not that hard.

y’all say shit like this then wonder why so many wonderful writers are leaving tumblr. 🙄

Daddy Issues

Summary: No one knows Billy like you do...no one knows you like Billy does. Both of you got daddy issues.

Pairing: Billy Hargrove x fem!reader

Power/Quirk: N/A

Request: Yes

Warnings: Angst, angst and more angst

A/N: This is my first request in months so I'm really rusty. I did change the setting a little to add to the atmosphere but the premise is the same. I still hope you enjoyed it @trelaney !

Request?

!Masterlist!

September's first frost files into your room, pushing the toxic yet sweet smoke of your cigarette back into your face. Downstairs you can hear your father screaming again at your stepmom, probably getting ready to smack down at any moment. After years of abuse, you couldn't bring yourself to care, instead choosing to light another smoke.

When the yelling doubles, that's when your interest is finally peaked. Not only could hear your father's gravelly voice below you but an equally pissed voice came from your neighbour's house.

Ah, yes, the infamous Hargrove household. The new king of Hawkins moved in a year ago but it only felt like months. With shared bruises and the same look of desperation in your eyes, an unspoken agreement was made.

No matter what, split up the fight.

Your knuckles rap against the perfectly painted front door and all the yelling ceases. Out of the corner of your eye, you watch a certain redhead skip out of the window. The mustached bastard opens, a sickingly deceptive smile pushing up his nose. You mimic the smile, twirling an unlit cigarette in between your fingers.

"Sorry, (Y/N), but me and Billy are having an important discussion at the moment,"

"I'm sorry Mr. Hargrove but I really need Billy's help. You see, my car is making this weird clunking noise and if I have to take it back to the mechanic again my Dad won't be happy. You know how it is."

With the soft bite of your lip and your eyelashes fluttering against wind-whipped cheeks, you try to pull off your most innocent look.

"Maybe if you turned your music down you would've heard it earlier. It's all that smoke and leather,"

"I'm much more than smoke and leather, Mr. Hargrove,"

Biting your lip you nearly crush the cigarette between your fingers. After a few seconds of thought, Mr. Hargrove backs away and walks further into the house. You strain to hear his mumbles:

"We can finish this conversation later,"

Billy quickly storms out of the house, leather jacket in tow as you follow. Handing him an uncrushed cigarette and a lighter, you lead him to your car. Once his cigarette was lit, he handed the lighter back to you.

"Please don't tell me you fucked up this car again," he growls.

"Nah, just had to come up with a quick excuse," you toss him the keys. "Just added a new muffler too. Wanna hear her purr?"

"Do I ever,"

He slides in quickly, listening to your black Camaro rev with ease. His gleeful chuckle sends lightning down your spine as you light the crushed cigarette, inhaling as much as your lungs can take and exhaling as you enter the car.

"Good job, princess. She's running beautifully,"

"Don't call me that," you mumble. "I'm not another one of your whores."

For some reason, one you cannot put your finger on, he goes silent. With a harsh tug, the e-brake is off and your speeding down the country roads that Hawkins has to offer (the only positive to this town in your opinion).

Leaning over, you slip in your mixtape of all the greatest rock hits you could get your hands on, letting the angry rhythm and aggressive beat push your worries away temporarily.

It was late when you finally pulled over, somewhere in the ass-end of town. Popping open the trunk, you pull out the beers you had stashed and walk over to the hood of the car, handing Billy one.

"So, what was the bullshit this time?"

"The typical shit he comes up with. I'm not treating Maxine right, I'm impeding the "family happiness"," he makes air quotes quickly followed by a sigh. "He's never gonna get it through his thick skull that I never wanted to be a part of it,"

"They never listen so they'll never understand," you say simply, chugging back more of the watery beer you bought from some random kid who stole it off his Dad.

Once you finish your drink, you toss it away with a sigh.

"At least we've got each other in this shithole," you say.

"Who the fuck said that?"

You turn to him aghast.

"Please tell me you're joking,"

He stays silent, his glare ahead of you. The macho facade takes over and it makes your blood boil.

It always ended like this. A late-night drive. A pack full of cigarettes. A few beers. But the minute you tried to connect, to give yourself an opening to confess what had been eating away at you, and he closes up.

You thought, no, you were convinced, that he needed you. That he relied on you. That your unspoken code could finally be spoken about.

"Drop this whole macho act, Billy, cause I'm tired of it. The least you can give me is a thank you,"

"And what the hell are you talking about, huh?" he turns to you, nostrils flaring.

"You can't keep ignoring the fact that I'm the only girl that has stuck by your side the longest! That breaks you outta those stupid fucking fights! Gives you an escape!"

"Get to your point already, (Y/L/N)!"

"God Billy! You can rely on me! You can let me in for once so that I can finally tell you how much I love you! That I want to run away from this haunted town with you and we can start over! That's my point!"

You breathe heavily with anger as your words set in. The conflict in his eyes is slowly overtaken by annoyance...then frustration.

"That was quite the speech..." he draws closer to you, eventually towering over you. "But you're not my type. Why any guy would even pity fuck you is a mystery to me."

Tears prick your eyes but they never fall.

"You're nothing but a small girl with daddy issues. So think again about that little fairytale running through your head,"

Your jaw tightens along with your fists. Long ago you learned how to mask, to push back tears and fight.

"Daddy issues, Billy? You're the personification of them. Fuckin' every girl that even bats her eyelashes at you. Pathetic, temporary. Just like your mother was, come to think of it. But the minute someone wants your trust wants your vulnerability, you're this big macho man that has no feelings. Come back to me when you decide that I'm pitiful enough to fuck."

With a glare, you quickly get into your car and drive away, leaving him angry and alone. It wasn't long until water impeded your vision and you're forced to pull over. Gripping onto the steering wheel so tight your knuckles turn white. Your chest feels like it's caving in with how harsh your sobs bounce.

You know you've got daddy issues...

But he was the one that understood your wounds...

Your partner, your friend, your love;

Left on the side of the road.

---

<- starksvixen's masterlist

Billy Hargrove

Daddy Issues One More Rule (Daddy Issues Pt II)

Chapter 9 | Husband.

“But for me it's black, or it's white, or it's fucking nothing.”

Summary: AOT CHAPTER 130-139 MANGA SPOILERS AHEAD. How long will you wait?

Warnings: Angst, Low self-esteem, Casual/ Comfortable Nudity.

Wc: 6k

An: ANGST! AN ANGSTY PLOT POINT IS COMING!🚨 but sorry for the slow updates across the board, (my one shot collection) i'm sure a lot of you know that i've just started uni and it's brutal already, but i'm not going anywhere, and i love you all❤️ -so please bare with me 🥺😌❤️

Fable’s Masterlist

⋘ 𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘯𝘦𝘹𝘵 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘦𝘳 ⋙

You wake beside the light rise and fall of Levi's still sleeping chest, and you melt into his fierce but gentle hold in an instant. His arms are inescapably wound around you and he's not frowning as he sleeps, (for once).

You treasure having him like this. Having your arms tangled together like inosculated branches of sacred trees, that only seem to grow closer together as the days go by, and the mornings gather. But instead of oppressive breeze, you have warm utterances that rumble from his chest and fan your collarbones and cheeks like nature's kisses.

Hearing the first words to part his lips in the morning, helps you appreciate the sentiment of arriving early. Being the early bird that can beam in the richness of his low tone then, and to have it revitalise you just like the morning sun would in spring, always spoken so softly, so tenderly. This morning, you toy with the overgrown curtains of feathery raven, while you gaze up at his lips, so plush and pink, in this moment all you want to do is press your mouth on his. Oh how sweet he'd be.

You peek over at the time, it's barely six but like careful clockwork he's already stirring under you. Hands resuming their swirls against your spine, thighs hugging your waist, forehead kissing your shoulder. "Mm... hello." he breathes out half-yawning, fingers thumbing the silk clinging to your body. "How are you...today?"

You exhale contently, running your hands through his hair. "I'm good, I'm happy...so happy."

He smiles to himself, face pressed into your chest. "Mm?...Then let's have a bath, together."

"We showered last night."

"Oh? But then you ruined your panties, didn't you?" he whispers lowly, accompanied by a soft brush of his thumb on the gusset.

You shudder, your thighs twitching not so imperceptibly, because he chuckles as you weakly bow into him. "I'll get in with you."

"Kay." Your cheeks burn so hot, you're compelled to cover them, even as you swing yourself out of bed with your backs facing one another.

You linger at the doorway for him, for your convenience studying the carpet, until you look up to see him, facing the wardrobe doors, and clearly looking for fresh towels. He attaches his prosthetic for the time being and rids himself of his shirt before pulling down his boxers. And your eyes feast on the muscle rippling through his body as he kicks his underwear away, you cannot help but watch after all.

There's something so sensual about the way he tips his head back to grin at you, toned skin straining in the golden lowlights of the bedroom lamp. And then he turns ever so slightly, adam's apple gulping as he cants his hips for you. Clearing his throat before he speaks, "Having a nice time over there?"

You can't help but smirk a little bashfully, "Enjoying the view, yes." You've seen Levi's dick here and there, but you've never really looked long enough to gain a secure image of it, but now you've felt it. And last night, it felt so good, too good. God it was so good you came on it. So you're shamelessly dithering where you stand, your shadow no doubt casting over his knuckles as he momentarily grips the base of his cock. It's impressive, hard, and swooping away from the perfect v of his pelvis, in its own large and smooth curve.

His eyes lock with yours and he flicks his tongue across his lips, moving his hand halfway down the length of it before shaking his head. "Well I can see that..." He secures his towel, tucking his dick under the folds of terrycloth, you never really see it in the mornings, it's normally hidden, (this must be why). "Pervert." he calls softly, a crooked smile splaying his lips, like he wasn't just holding himself so brazenly for you to see.

"I'm not sorry." you chirp, as you walk away to start the kettle and the bath.

"Filthy." he calls behind you, and your shared laughter echoes through either side of the house like music. I've made it, he tells himself. This is peace.

The bath itself feels momentous, and it feels like true bliss, as both of you lay calm amongst the steamy clouds. You're both lazed back against either ends of the tub, china cups of green tea in hand, its pot on the sill, legs tessellated, bubbles almost reaching your chins. Who would have thought, that 'humanities strongest solider' would love bubble baths so fucking much? "We're going to the pet shop today, remember?"

You sigh, before breaking into a fond laugh. "I haven't forgotten, because we're getting a dog, aren't we?"

"Mm, and lucky for us our government money just came in too, so we'll be able to afford it."

"What about your camera?"

"Onyankopon's gonna organise that for me, so don't stress. I'll have one soon I'm sure."

You spend most of the morning soaking together, both avoiding the fact that this is the first time you've even bathed together, when neither of you have been injured. You just need to be closer and closer, and the burning need to be so close is growing unbearable, because it still feels too far.

You talk about everything from religion to the new bread at the bakery down the street, and then slowly he holds both his hands up to you. Fingers laced over the tub as you chat, he feels so happy he can't contain it, but he does. He ponders the day he'll look upon your hand and see a ring on your finger, that shines in the light as much as your eyes do when you look at him. When you're his lover, he'll make sure everybody knows.

He smiles, holding your wrinkly palm up into the light. "We need to get out, look at our skin."

You giggle, "No, let's just stay in here forever."

"Our skin will go to shit."

When both of you finally clamber out of the tub to get ready for the day, Levi pushes you to your own room to do so, by your shoulders of course, they're neutral territory. But for a minute you stand in the bathroom doorway, teasingly slipping your towel just enough to expose your behind, but he throws your hairbrush at you. Dramatically covering his eyes. "Go on! We can get dressed together if you'd like, but only when you're wearing panties and a damn undershirt."

You chuckle, exiting only to enter his room minutes later per those very instructions. His eyes clock your red panties straight away and then he's throwing you your favourite pants of his. "Tease."

"You like it."

He blushes, head tipped high as he buttons up his white and navy pinstripe shirt. "Oi."

*******

Because Ackerman's doesn't open until two today, Levi and you, really are walking through town to the pet shop. In fact he was positively insistent.

"There you are!" greets a kindly man at the entrance of the store, a sweet albino ferret sat loyally on his shoulder.

You cringe, hoping that everyone doesn't make a huge fuss over you both, especially of Levi. "Is Munro here?"

"His break ends soon, but he told me that if you two come in, that I'm to serve you because I don't read newspapers?...Anyway! I'm Joe, nice to meet you."

Levi eyes you curiously, but you get what he's saying immediately. This man doesn't know who you both are, perfect. "Nice to meet you Joe, I'm [name], and this is Levi."

"Hey guys! I'm glad I got the right people! And this is Albert! So! What are you looking for today? A tour?" Levi stares at the ferret in horror at first, but after a few minutes of you chatting with the man, he taps him and asks if he can hold it. "Eh? Sir? Are you sure?"

"Mm. I won't drop it." He carefully places him in Levi's hands and he practically cradles him, slowly stroking his thumb over his head. And when he turns in his hand, Levi is like a proud father, rubbing his belly with his large fingers. And nudging you every few seconds, "Look, it's got markings here...circles....an' its eyes are so small, see?"

"Now you're making me want a ferret."

"It's a dog today though right?" Joe hesitantly asks, hand reaching for Albert.

"It is!?" Munro appears sunnily from the back room of the store, hands clasped, eyes smiling. "Hey [name], so you are getting a pup then? Amazing!"

"We are, I have Levi with me today too!"

"Hello." Levi greets, eyes as serious as ever, while you hold Albert to escape such tension.

"It's a pleasure Levi, I'll go and get you guys those pictures."

"Thanks!"

He just had to be so much taller? And younger, tsk.

Levi catches himself in a mirrored display shelf, and his face falls. Does he look frumpy? Too pale, pasty? It's a fleeting second he even looks, but you notice, slipping your hand through his, with a soft smile of encouragement, making it hard for him to focus on anything but the loud thumping in his chest that follows.

"But first, here, you're great with the animals, and we have a few vacancies here if you're interested, I wanted to give you this yesterday." Munro chatters, fishing through a bucket of mail.

Levi settles his arm around your waist and sighs, "No thank you."

You smirk, casting him a playful side eye, "What if I was interested?"

"Are you?" he whispers.

"Well no, but it's not the point."

"Mm okay." He grins at you, before calling out to Munro. "So why do people get pets?"

"It's like a test run for children." a woman beside you both laughs.

"Yeah, before you two start a family?" Munro asks.

"Yeah it's like that, that's what we're doing...that together, my p-...wife." Levi answers curtly, cheeks flushing red. You have to fight to ignore the knee-jerk reaction to slap your hand over your mouth.

Munro smiles. "I'm so glad you finally came in [name]."

What did he just say?

"See...I um....told you this place has been here ages."

"I think you did."

"So what kind of dog are you looking for?"

"A small one."

"One that doesn't make mess."

"I have just the thing, luckily I put these pictures aside for you both." He passes you a short stack of photos showing a fluffy little puppy, it's got white socks and strawberry blonde fur so thick it looks like a ball of fluff.

You beam beside him, eagerly flicking through the pictures. "Levi, we're getting this one, look at how sweet it is!"

He takes one of the photos into his hands, he's actually considering it? "Yeah?"

Munro giggles, waving at customers while still watching Levi intently. "Are you sure your husband wants one [name]?"

You freeze but Levi's already ahead of you,

"No I do, if it will make her happy... you know? So, anything she wants." he mutters gruffly.

"Great! So, the sex of the dog? What do you want?"

Levi shudders, "Male dogs hump legs don't they? Disgusting."

"Female it is." You all break into laughter and he fetches you the paperwork. 'Husband?' Levi didn't even blink, didn't even bother to correct him.

Munro throws a lump of papers down onto the counter and both of you listen to him talk you through the process as he notes down your deposit. "In a week or so she'll be here! So I'll let you guys know! And if you guys don't mind I can always knock, right?"

"Of course, thank you Munro! I can't wait!"

"No problem sweetheart!" (You have to nudge Levi to hide his scowl and overall distaste at this informality).

Once he gives you guys all of your paperwork you leave the store and continue on to Ackerman's. And there's something in the air neither of you dare to comment on the entire walk there, or when you arrive. Husband. Husband?...Husband.

"Here ya go Jonah!"

You hand him another stack of your drawn panels of Titan fights and daily Scout life, your comics have become famed in the neighbourhood, even some of the high school students come by to grab them. "Thanks Auntie! I'm so excited for more fights!"

You ruffle his hair and return to the front counter, Levi is bumbling and cleaning around you, and it's manageably busy so you brandish your ruler and lead pencil, and set out to draw more sheets. "I'll be back in a minute." Levi ducks down and whispers, though you're so immersed in your sketching you barely notice.

"Mm! Kay!"

You're unsure of how much time has passed before

you feel something hit your head, and when you dare break away from your sketching, it's Levi holding a large stack of thick white card. "For me?" you ask, smiling so big your cheeks ache.

He lowers it and lifts your chin up with it, the sweetest smile on his face too. "Yes, for you. Enjoy." He pats your head and lays the card down and you gasp at the amount he's brought.

It's thick quality paper, surely from one of the more reputable high street stationers. "Levi! Thank you so much, I've been using such shitty paper."

"I know." He smiles knowingly, like he often does, waving in Ebony and Mia.

"Hey guys!" they call over, meandering past the bustling tables to you both at the counter.

"Your cheeks are so red, Mi." Ebony smiles, clutching the redheads cheeks.

"I don't know why you're surprised." she says back, eyes locked on hers. "We'll have the usual Levi, that okay?" Her voice is airy, hands twisting through Ebony's coils, barely even regarding you both.

Levi hums in acknowledgement, already halfway preparing their coffees. His eyes dart to yours, and you struggle to contain yourself, "Yep definitely." you mouth and he chuckles to himself.

Quickly leaning beside you, lips just catching your ear, "Just caught them down an alley."

"How's Tom, Ebony?" you ask, with a toothy grin.

Mia snaps out of her trance, teeth gritted, "My brothers fine, he's just really busy working right now."

"Yeah, you know?...Construction." Ebony adds, passing Levi over the correct change while Mia walks their drinks over to their usual table.

"I'm sure it gives you both a lot of time." Levi deadpans, "Enjoy."

"We shouldn't get involved." You whisper in his ear, before collapsing into giggles on his shoulder. He laughs too, casting Mia a glare when she winks and shrugs her shoulders at you both.

"They're terrible." he tells you, chest brushing your back as he pauses to peer down at your drawing. "Her brothers gir-[name]? Who's that?"

You look up at him, fondly tugging on his sweater. "Huh? It's you." To you it's the most obvious thing but Levi's full of confusion, is that Munro? Is that supposed to be funny?

"I don't look like that."

"What? Are you blind?"

"What a funny joke, I can still see things out of this you know." he sighs, pointing to his eye and you crumble, reaching your hand up to smooth your fingertip across the gentle arch of his brow.

Your voice sweetens, fingers trailing across the indents adoringly. "You know what I meant."

He slowly lifts it from the counter, holding it close to his chest. "Mm I do, but, I'll have this...if you don't mind?"

"Why? Does it interest you?"

"Drawing someone is special isn't it? So I want to keep hold of it." he mutters behind you.

"Mhm, it is, yes you can have it. I'd like that...for you to have it."

"Good..." You turn to see him blushing to himself, floppy hair nowhere near covering the flush now dusting his features. "But I don't look like that." he whispers once more, in complete awe of the drawing and of you.

"To me you do, and I see your face everyday, so i'm an expert— Ah, Pon's here, haircut time."

He nods, tucking the sketch safely away in one of the drawers, "Okay well I'm going, but I'll be back to you. Soon."

"Levi? You can't go in your apron!" You pull him back by the strings, unwinding the fabric ties from his waist as he tries to slip around the counter. "Why do you always knot them at the front?! It's stuck!-"

He bats your hands away, apologetically whipping back to cup your face. "I can't have your hands there right now. Sorry."

You both laugh as he folds his apron on the counter and joins Onyankopon outside. "Weren't you guys supposed to be going yesterday?" you call out.

"He'd double booked!" Onyankopon chuckles, peeking through the doorway. "So Saturday it is!"

"Kay! See you both later, be safe!"

If not all of the customers fondly wave him off, and then he's gone. You hate that you miss him already, that you miss him instantaneously, how cheesy...right?

"Get married already!" Ebony calls over, and a bunch of your customers chime in, you laugh merrily with all of them of course, cursing at them. But your mind is a mess. Marriage? Husband? Levi. Levi. Levi. "Yeah...about that."

******

You double-take Levi when he saunters back into the shop, all of the customers are long gone, so you're closing up and sweeping up the floor. And he completely catches you off guard. "Sorry I'm so late, we went to meet his Onyankopon's girl-"

When you turn back to him, you drop the broom and stare blankly at him, completely mesmerised. "Oh my, shit, look at you."

He shifts a little self consciously, his undercut is as fresh and striking as ever, gorgeous. But today his hair is combed back, but not with gel, it has his natural sheen and only single strands are kissing his nose, and the undersets of his eyes. But he looks like a dream, an unfathomably handsome dream.

You run over, jumping up on him, and he hoists you up in place, hands squishing with affection, and eyes filled to the brim with love. "Hello." he mumbles shyly.

"Hey! Look at you."

"They combed it back with some spray shit, I'll have to get some"

You grin, pressing a peck to his scared cheekbone. "You will have to get some, so I can see this wonderful face more."

"Hairs already going back to normal, so savour it." he teases, hugging you back hard and leaning over to grab your coat.

You jump down off him and he grabs you back, "But I've gotta finish closing!"

"This can be done Monday, let's go home."

It's in this moment that you notice the burning sensation of your smile, how long have you been holding it? And how does he manage to make you smile so much you forget you're doing it.

He slots on your green hat, and you grab his scarf, and you walk out into the early October evening together. And you reach home, fire burning, kettle stirring, you continue to gaze at him, wishing now more than ever that you had a camera. "Was Marie in today?"

You scrunch your nose and turn to him, no longer reclined comfortably on the sofa. "Huh? No, she wasn't actually, why?"

"Just wondering...where you going?" he mumbles.

"I'll read you a story when I come up."

He nods, patting your shoulder. "Good." He notices you grabbing the blanket you keep folded on one of the kitchen chairs, "Garden? It's gonna be cold out there." he says, getting up and immediately fixing his shoes back on.

"It's only seven, wait are you joining me?"

"Don't trust this town, or the neighbours." he mutters.

"Levi, it's only Munro on our street, and nobody here is gonna-"

"It's late and dark, so I'm coming, okay?"

"I wanted you to anyway."

It's a task to wriggle open the back door at first, it's not often you both go out there, Levi would have settled with the balcony. Regardless, after wedging open the door, you're greeted with a beautiful starlight scape. There's no moon tonight but it's gorgeous nonetheless, so you lay out the knitted grey blanket on the grass, and crash on top of it.

You prop your head back against your arms, drinking in the sight of the deep admiral sky, twinkling with its stars. "Come sit, not scared of the bugs are you?"

He huffs, but lies down and collapses beside you anyway, "What's going on with you?" he asks, clearly nervous as he wrings his hands together, fidgeting beside you.

"Let's just look at the stars tonight."

He leans over you, gently taking your chin between his fingers, and sighing. "I know when something is wrong [name], so just be honest with me...please?"

"It's nothing important." you breathe out, taken with the beauty of his steely eyes glowing in this darkness, you place your hand on his cheek and his eyes flutter shut in appreciation. His palm shortly after colliding with yours as he caresses it.

"No, somethings off, don't pretend with me."

"Well, what was that?...Earlier....The whole, you not saying anything about being my husband? And you called me your wife?" The air is growing thick, and Levi only looks into your eyes with an intensity that makes your skin burn, he's listening, but he's also focusing on how pretty your collarbones look.

"It would have been awkward to correct him, or deny it."

You smile, thumb dawdling across the marred lines. "No, not really."

He leans down closer, foreheads daring to touch. "It wouldn't?" You shake your head, breeze whistling through the air, the chill reddening those pale pale cheeks. "Not gonna speak to me now?" he asks, smirking. You shake your head again, swayed by his overwhelmingly natural charm. "I don't have to make you talk, do I?"

You scoff, "How would you do that anyway?"

"It's a surprise."

"Then give me a surprise, surprise me more." Both of his hands take your cheeks now, and he slowly descends his pouted lips down to yours, your heart is beating out of your chest. You close your eyes-but...they do not touch.

You glance at him, eyes slightly cracked open until they're wide, and annoyed. "Levi, just!" You push him off you and sit up on the blanket, hugging your knees in an attempt to self-soothe the fast acting ache of the momentary rejection.

"I j-just don't want us to fail, it might ruin what we have now, and that's..."

"But you'll do to me what you did last night? And act the way we do...what we did...But you can't just..." You turn your back to him, voice barely a whisper in the wind, though it borders on hopeless, so much so it makes him feel hollow. "You can't...kiss me."

"I can, but I just can't predict what will happen here, I-I don't know. This territory-"

"Yeah, well I'm sick of it." He's sat behind you, hands outstretched but not reaching you, not daring to touch you. "You can't predict these kind of things, you just have to let them happen."

"I just don't want to make you unhappy."

"I feel unhappy right now, maybe I should date instead, I could go on a date with Munro, I could ask him tomorrow." you taunt, turning to face him.

"What the hell are you trying to do here? I don't want that, surely you know that."

"How do I know? Hm? How do I know that? When I'm constantly in this half way place with you?"

"Well then...We're getting in each other's way." he decides, burying his face into his hands.

"No Levi you're getting in your own, stop messing with me."

"You're just as bad! When did Marie really give you that note, or did you keep it aside? You're no better than Onyanknpon and what he did with yours."

"Fuck. How could you say that? It's a pathetic little crush she has, are you seriously comparing that to the last thing my best friend left me before they died?"

"Ahh!" he shouts out to the air, "No I didn't mean it like that!"

"Then why did you say it?"

"Captains!" Jean yells over the back gate, Levi groans until his lungs land on a deep sigh, and you do as well. You'd forgotten you'd said that they could come again. "You weren't answering the front door!"

"You, invited, them, again." he hisses.

"They're here all week and who knows when they'll be here again, be nice."

"We need to talk-"

"Coming!"

The tense atmosphere is lingering in the air like a foul odour, the cadets have even awkwardly dotted themselves around the living room, mostly crouching by the fire. It's been minutes and no one has spoke. Mikasa looks longingly at the photo of you both on the mantle. The one from your first date at Sasha's.

"I like this."

"Yeah...that was a fun night." you reply, while Levi only nods, and Armin shifts more uncomfortably in his seat.

"I wish we had this stuff back home." he says wistfully, taking a hefty sip of his berry cider. "Why don't you guys have some? Let loose, the shops closed tomorrow, right?"

"After what I heard I'm sure those two don't need to be drunk together." Jean mutters, and Mikasa winces, toying with the loose threads on her scarf.

"What did you hear Jean?" Armin asks, drunkly bopping Jean's fedora.

"Nothing, nothing." He smiles, ruffling Armin's hair with a sighing smile. "Ah, what's that pub named around here Captain?"

"The Medley." Levi answers, eyes fixed intensely to the flickering fireplace. "You guys can always go there and come tomorrow." You tut at his shortness and he glares right back.

"Well...let's all go there and leave you guys to it!You're both getting old now right, must be tired huh?" Connie giggles.

"Hey guys!" Levi bites back an exhale as Onyankopon and Pieck burst in, all drunken smiles.

"Pieck hey!" you greet, bringing her in for a hug while Onyankopon studies Levi.

He immediately winks, "How'd the haircut fair?"

Levi says nothing, only impatiently strumming his fingers upon his thighs. "Not well then, here I thought it might get you in [name]'s favour. Not even a kis-"

"We're about to go to the pub Onyankopon. You coming?" Mikasa interrupts.

"The Medley, ah! Yeah!"

"Just take Levi with you, hell he'll probably be gone from here soon, so I'd better get used to it."

Everyone gasps, laughs silenced, movements halted. "Wait...Cap, where are you going?" Connie asks.

"What the hell." He stands up now, marching over to you until you're both face to face, teeth bared and gritted. "I never said that!"

"I'm sure your admirers might think differently, and all you're doing right now is running anyway, right?"

"I'm not going anywhere! But if you want to go and live above the pet shop with what's his fucking face, go ahead, dogs shit all the time anyway!"

"We've paid the fucking deposit now!"

"If it's from that guy then no, we'll go somewhere else."

"That's the only pet shop here!"

"Then I guess no pet!"

"Fucking asshole."

"I've never seen you two shout at each other," Jean nervously chuckles, shifting between you both and throwing an arm around each of you. "Hey, hey...it's obvious neither of you are going anywhere, you're attached at the hip...So don't do this please, don't...fall apart. Please."

He pats Jean's shoulder with a firm nod, and then shifts under his arm, walking over to the kitchen island. Everyone watches on, nibbling their nails with bulging eyes, and waiting for his next move but he only loudly pulls out a stool, clearly deciding to hear no further. "I'll see you all later, good night. And you, stay here, you're too drunk." he orders, pointing at Onyankopon.

"Yes sir." he laughs, shoes already kicked off and then in seconds he's curling up on his favourite sofa.

"I'm sorry guys." Everyone solemnly nods, quietly exiting down the hall one by one, they all chirp out scattered good night's, until you close the door and they're gone, only Onyankopon snoozing away.

Now you can sigh out in exasperation, marching past a sulking Levi to the balcony, but within seconds you hear his stool clatter to the floor, and then the door slam behind you.

"We should be able to be with other people-" he starts.

"Is that what you want now? God."

"But we can't, we can't...can we?"

"No...we can't."

"We're too attached."

"Look around, do you see any Titans? Do you see death? Or do you see the life we've created for ourselves."

He takes gentle strides forward, before he grabs your face and squishes it. "Listen to me, you deserve someone better."

You grip his wrist, eyes clinging to the glassiness glazing the stone blue of his. "You've got to stop saying that, is that what you want?"

"No. Obviously."

"Then why do you say it? You're allowed to want things, it's not selfish you know." you huff, arms waving up in the air with frustration.

"I just...if we cross that line, we can never return, what then? We have some kind of fucking lovers quarrel one day, and we leave, never to talk again, what would be the point of it all, all our years, of this, for it all to fucking end!" he bellows at you, his hands flailing about now, fists scrunching at himself.

"That wouldn't happen!"

"That's the only way 'love' ends, it either lasts or it doesn't, and then you 'fall apart'. That's what I know."

"I thought we were solid."

He chuckles dryly, hands tugging through his hair in defeat. "You couldn't handle what I feel."

"Oh fuck you." You push him, storming to the balcony rail to look at anything but the unreadable emotions swirling in those damned glints of grey. But he grabs your shoulder, like he always does, turning you straight back. "Just make a decision."

He begins shakily, he's imploring, in his own way, and it makes your heart crack and break beneath your bones. Why can't him being so vulnerable be enough? You already have parts of him no one else will ever own, that you do, but fuck it you want all of him. "I-I want to see everything. I want everything with you, I want it all. But for me it's black, or it's white, or it's fucking nothing. I can't even breathe without you anymore, do you know how fucking pathetic that is! Do you? I need you here, with me, by my side all the time or I fu-See!...Pathetic."

"See what? That's all I want, is for you to tell me the thoughts that you have, those thoughts. They're not too much, I know you, I know that it's black or its white, but things can be grey, and blue, fucking green, red, anything we want, I promise you."

He scoffs, "You're too, good...people like me don't get grey. I get a or b, and if not I fucking go without."

"Just keep going, you think I'm gonna just run away? You've never scared me."

"If I open that door, and it all comes flooding out, it further leads to you leaving! Because if it's too much, and we fail, you leave, and then it's all fucked! All of it! Then it's..." Just like when Kenny did, when Erwin did, when Furlan did, when she did, because she couldn't live on.

"Where's your faith! Who says we wouldn't work!"

"I'm not saying that! Are you listening?"

"Levi! You know how I feel!" you scream.

"And you know how I feel!" he yells, deflating as his forehead drops against yours, noses pressing together. "But I don't know how I can prove it to you-"

"I can, because I'll fucking tell you, and you'll listen. I'm head over fucking heels in love with you, Levi-"

He grabs your face, "Don't! Stop it!" he shouts hopelessly.

"When have I ever looked in another mans direction?-"

"Stop it!"

"Spent my whole life looking in yours-"

"Stop it!"

"I've never wanted anyone else-"

"Don't, don't!"

"but you, I want you so bad it hurts, I hurt all over!" you deflate into a heap on the cold stone floor, tears streaming down your cheeks. He stands back completely stricken, fighting the urge to hold you in his arms and tell you all the pretty and fanciful things his brain could ever imagine. "So believe it you...fucking idiot."

I can't. "Don't cry." He hovers to his knees, a single finger lifting your chin. "I feel...we can stay the way we are? It works right?"

"Who are you trying to convince?"

Don't look at me like that.

"Myself."

Your voice is shaking, lips wobbling but you continue, "This isn't enough anymore, you tell Munro we're starting a family and then you tell me we should be able to be with other people, what is wrong with you?" He stands, gazing up at the stars while his hand limply reaches down for yours, but you don't take it, even though he's crying out for you too. But can't relax otherwise, that's why he can't talk, he feels like a tongue tied teenager, fuck he hates this.

"I'm confusing, I know, shit I don't know how to do this." He cusses to himself, voice barely reaching you amongst the wind. "People leave all the time."

"People stay too."

"Yeah? Well then...fuck, fuck it. I love you, I love you, but this is just- it scares me, all of it, and i'd only ever tell you that, I'm just, not used to this." he stammers, not bothering to repeat himself when he sees you covering your ears to block out the groan of the cruel winter wind.

His brain tells him that if it was meant to be, you'd have heard. But his heart tells him to grab you, and tell you how much he loves you over and over until the fucking sun rises.

"Levi? Nothing to say? After I, told you...Fuck this, I'm going for a walk."

"Wait, not at this time you're not, come here." He grabs your arm firmly, but you fight him, you can't right now.

"Don't you dare...go." His voice sounds so small...but you're hurting too much right now. You need to be alone, you need him to leave you alone.

"Levi." You take in a deep breath, and let your eyes meet, and his eyes are empty, surely scarred by all the things they've seen, but so strong and brave, right beside those scars. Oh his delicate and beautiful face. Fuck. "Stop being so fucking controlling will you! I—hate it!"

"What?" His arm fall to his side as you storm away through the balcony doors. "Don't go, I don't want you to...shit, leave me." He curses the way you make him feel, he feels like a child all over again, abandoned and rejected, in the cold. Just as you surely do right now too, he knows this, but how can you meet in the middle? He's alone and cold without your warmth, in fact he's freezing, you're a luxury, he knows this too.

"Oh." he whispers, falling back onto one of the chairs, he gasps for a few minutes, watching you dart up and down the living room until the front door slams in the distance.

He has to land a punch to his lungs, his hand barely a closed fist, because he cannot fucking breathe, in fact all of this air is enough, or maybe too much? Because he needs only you to fill his lungs.

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