Rabastan Lestrangestinky Manweirdo (he Plagues My Thoughts)

Rabastan lestrange…stinky man…weirdo… (he plagues my thoughts)

Same. Same. Regrettably so.

Every day it's just no thoughts. Just him, his complicated relationship with his twin brother, his mock marriage, and his silver armor in the form of layered necklaces, finger guards, and heavy girdles. He sits quietly in the corner near Regulus in a DE meeting and the two retire after and are never seen again for the rest of the night. Just picturing them sitting across from each other while having a meal in silence with only "Mon amour, Mon ami" by Marie Laforêt playing in the background.

And him in a Modern Au with his stupid expensive Rolex collection and inappropriate age gap relationship with Regulus. He constantly skips out on family dinners unless they are hosted by his mother. Most liked by the media in his famously wealthy families on both sides because he's the perfect vision of what every teenage girl with daddy issues wants. He's getting verbally mauled and ripped apart in the Pantheon's group chat for none of Regulus' friends like him and also in messages and hangouts between Regulus and Sirius who also doesn't like him.

Thinking about him creating spells to do more damage because every hit counts. Every flinch, step back, and slight mark of red on skin makes him smile because he knows in a physical or magical altercation no one can overtake him. His ability to fight defines him and he will furnish whatever he has on hand, a fist, a wand, and blade, etc etc etc

He's a weirdo to us and almost everyone who isn't an older, rich pureblood. I think he's absolutely pathetic actually. Every interaction with Rodolphus leaves in him a bitter mood for hours and he's constantly looking for Regulus' attention.