The Joker X Reader -Trapped Part 3

The Joker x Reader - “Trapped” Part 3

Almost one year ago, someone tried to kill The Joker in a speeding car and Y/N pushed him out of the way, getting hit instead. With a fractured skull and broken bones, she was out of business for 6 months; when she finally recovered, The Queen of Gotham wasn’t the same anymore. Trapped inside her own mind and exhibiting severe cognitive impairment, Y/N’s life switched upside down without any hope of ever returning to normal.

Part 1       Part 2  

Same day, later in the evening

“What are you doing, Pumpkin?” The Joker crawls next to you although he has an idea about why you look upset.

You’re on your tummy scribbling on a piece of paper and he can tell you are concentrating hard while working on the current project: writing down your name. Only got the first three letters then the rest went blank.

“I….I can’t think…” you intensely stare at the blue pen in between your fingers.

“Of course you can!” J reaches over so he can guide your arm since it’s clear you need help. “There you go… done. Now try to copy it bellow, alright?”

“Hm?”

“Try again Princess,” he taps on the sheet and watches Y/N struggling to imitate the word. “Well done!” The King of Gotham praises. “Wanna give it a shot with a few more simple words?”

“Mmmm…” you debate. “OK?…”

You analyze The Joker’s movements as he depicts four letter words, one of them getting your attention in particular.

“Love?” you smile, happy you deciphered the meaning.

“Yes, a basic…”

“Love?” you scoot over, more and more excited and it clicks for your boyfriend.

“It’s just an example for you to exercise and relearn how to write, understand? It doesn’t mean anything!”

You giggle and touch his nose with yours.

“Love!”

“No Pumpkin! I don’t love you, how did you get such atrocity from my note??!! It has no hidden meaning! I barely, from very afar, remotely, not even similar to love, sort of like you and that’s it!”

You snicker and quickly slide to grab the yellow teddy bear, whispering in its ear:

“Love.”

“Aren’t you listening Princess?? Don’t start fake rumors!!”

Still…Y/N lives on her own little planet and her damaged brain grasped a wonderful concept despite The Clown vehemently dismissing his actions.

“Serves me right for being supportive,” he grumbles and resorts to diversion, the best weapon against your new found logic.

“Wanna read to me?” he points at the pile of children’s books resting on the nightstand: they are the best to use in your present circumstance.

“… … Read?… ” you ask, confused.

“Here,” J picks a random publication and gives it to you.

Might as well fully take advantage.

“Spoil me!” he buries his cheeks in your cleavage, guiding your free hand towards his green locks.

You never figured out how he doesn’t suffocate with his face glued to your skin; sometimes he sleeps like that for hours. Must be a special talent.

“The … ummm… the…. The duck…” you read the first page and massage his scalp, frowning at the words you can’t make sense of. “Cross… … crossed?…”  

“Yeah,” The Joker’s mumbled voice agrees.

“… the… g-glass…” you stutter at the sentence.

“Grass,” J corrects you.

“Hm?…”

“Grass Pumpkin, not glass.”

“Ummm… grass…” you continue to read the best way you can and he rectifies your errors until no more sounds emerge: The King is softly purring, a clear indication he’s dreaming.

You toss the book on the floor, fed up with the difficult task of organizing your thoughts; pampering him is better. You slowly tilt his head backwards so you can kiss him: The Joker frowns in his daze and you pinch his butt, chuckling.

“What is it?” he opens one eye and you pull down on his boxers. “Princess, we had sex an hour ago. Do you think I run on batteries?” the complaint is fast to follow.

… … … Batteries?… …                                            

You jump from the bed and stump to the closet, fumbling around for a couple of minutes before returning to a puzzled Clown.

You stretch the elastic of his underwear, dropping two batteries you snatched from the flashlight inside.

“How… how long do we w-wait?” you innocently ask.

The Joker bites his lip, attempting to contain himself yet he can’t: he bursts out laughing at your quirky solution while dragging you on top of him.

“You’re the funniest and smartest person I know, Pumpkin!” he cracks up, actually convinced he’s telling the truth. “Who’s my clever girl, huh?”

He’s talking about a girl again…What girl?…

Y/N peeks behind her and J reminds his baffled half:

“For God’s sake, Princess! I’m talking about you; you’re my girl! Can you get my phone?” he gestures at his mobile ringing by your pillow.

You give the cell to J, ignoring his conversation with Frost: you keep kissing him with the sole purpose of getting undivided affection.

“I guess Adam is here to pick up the cars you damaged,” he finally ends his chat. “Let’s go supervise the process. Don’t be disappointed, Pumpkin, we’ll have fun later. It’s your fault for destroying my collection!”

****************

The Joker watches his crew sweeping the concrete in the garage: broken glass, pieces of metal and debris scattered on the pavement after his vehicles were hauled inside huge trucks in order to be transported to Adam’s workshop for repairs.

“Thanks a lot, Y/N!” he growls, frustrated.

“Y-you’re welcome,” you serenely reply without a care in the universe.

“You’re the worst thing that ever happened to me, Princess!” he huffs at your indifference.

“Love,” you confess to the fluffy toy squished in your embrace.

“I heard that and it’s an aberration! Why do you keep persisting with this nonsense?! I’m literally stating the opposite!” J admonishes but who’s listening to him?

Not Y/N.

“Nolan is texting me,” he changes subject. “He wants me to meet him at his warehouse to inspect the boxes of ammo for the deal. Will you accompany me?”

“Hm?”

“Car ride?” The King of Gotham simplifies his request.

“U-hum!” you nod, preparing to enter the purple Lamborghini which luckily wasn’t in the garage when you smashed J’s cars.

“Frost, if you see me parked up the street in the driving alley, don’t come investigate, got it? This woman’s been pestering me for extracurricular activities, might not make it inside the mansion.”

“Of course, sir!” Jonny finds it wise to consent to his boss’s rambling.

“Tell everyone: if the Lamborghini’s rockin’, don’t come knockin’!”

**************

You’re sitting on J’s lap, completely blocking the arrangements happening at the table: you’re more preoccupied with your game than whatever it is they are negotiating about.

“What are you playing, Y/N?” Nolan curiously inquires because your thumbs are surely moving at a crazy speed on your cell’s screen.

“Hm?” you stop and gaze his way.

“What are you playing?” the man repeats.

“Mmmmm… Tetrixx Bricks.”

“What level are you on?” Nolan leans over, his eyes getting big at the revelation. “Holy shit, Y/N! How did you make it this far??! I’ve been striving to pass level 98 for a month!”

“She’s smart, that’s how!” your boyfriend sassily underlines.

“Do you think that you can help me?” the guy slides his phone in front of you.

“I’m sorry, is this a gaming party or a business matter?!” The Joker scoffs.

“Well, we’re pretty much done: we accepted the terms, we just have to move the merchandise in the morning.”

You are already matching the colorful blocks on Nolan’s game, his face ecstatic when the obnoxious song announces with great fanfare: “Level Up!”

“Holy cow!!!!” he shouts and you return his phone. “Thank you!”

“Hey Y/N,” one of the mobster’s henchmen dares to voice his demand. “Would you help me too? I’m stuck on level 76.”

“I’m dead on 105,” another goon mumbles under his breath, stepping in the line forming to your left.

J would normally cut off this useless waste of his precious time yet he can’t deny the gratification building up in his heart: heavens knows how it feels to be trapped inside your own mind and his girl has definitely battled unimaginable odds to be where she’s at right now.

Living with cognitive impairment is not easy, but she’s still here and it beats the alternative.

“Good job, Pumpkin!” The Clown boasts at the long string of cell phones parading through your fingers while you aid Nolan’s team leveling up on Tetrixx Bricks.

And somehow his hands are holding you tighter, not even bored with the random outcome of his meeting.

**************

You escaped on the terrace for a break and J is discussing the last details with your host: tomorrow you have a routine checkup, thus he has to wrap it up soon.

“Out of my way, half-wit!” Derek aka Nolan’s oldest son pushes you. Would he have done it if you were the same individual from almost a year ago? Nope. Apparently he believes he’s entitled to take advantage of Y/N since she’s alone outside.

“Why did Mister Joker bring you anyway?” he lights up a cigarette, annoyed. “Stupid monosyllabic bitch!” he ogles your summer dress, swiftly lifting it. “Are you wearing diapers?” he chuckles as you walk backwards, trying to process what he’s throwing at you. “Come on, show me!” he approaches and carefully scouts the premises to ensure you two don’t have company.

Perhaps the neurons in your brain are overcharged for the moment; nevertheless, they warn of imminent altercation: the dude’s a total douchebag.

“Are you shy?” Derek grins. “C’mon, lemme see!! Oooohh…fuuuuck…” he bends over in pain when your knee unexpectedly kicks him in the crotch: you used all your strength and he drops down, curling up in a ball. “God…dammit!” Derek shrieks at the defense he didn’t anticipate.

“I…I’m not wearing diapers!” you stammer and because he landed on the edge of the pool you roll him in the water also.

The loud splash makes The Joker wave at you, glad he eventually found you: he’s been searching around the warehouse for the last 5 minutes.

“There you are! Quit playing around, Pumpkin; we have a swimming pool at home!”

You rush by his side eager to bail before the asshole pops up from the bottom of the pond.

“Sushi for dinner?” J suggests and Y/N is not the type of individual to reject one of her favorite dishes.

“I…I love sushi,” you smile elbowing him. “Love.”

“Don’t start with me again!” The King barks at your obvious hint.

*************

“Are you eating the last piece?” he glares at your salmon roll.

“No,” you offer the treat to him. “You…you need it more,” Y/N verbalizes her concern regarding his well-being.

“Can’t disagree, Pumpkin. You exhausted me you naughty girl,” J pretends to be super tired. “What can I do? Princess wants, Princess gets,” he inhales, resigned.

You’re not focusing on his whining: frankly, your intellect has been challenged enough for today. You cuddle in his arms while he chews on his food and watch TV without paying attention to the movie.

“Don’t forget tomorrow morning you have your doctor’s appointment,” J mentions. “I have to stay and wait for the guns I purchased from Nolan; you’ll have to manage without me. I’ll send an escort, deal?”

“U-hum.”

“Don’t yawn, Pumpkin. I’m the one that should yawn,” The Joker scratches his thigh. “This move sucks,” he pouts and turns off the TV. “I have a better idea,” he chooses a kid’s book from the stack. “Read to me.”

You open the textbook and although your brain is overwhelmed, you still make an effort for his sake.

“Mmm… Rainy… sky… Skies?…”

“Yup,” he turns on his side and nuzzles in your hair.

“Float over…hmm… t-town…”, your voice echoes in the room, soothing a worn out Joker.

Strange he can’t properly rest unless you read to him: after all J barely, from very afar, remotely, not even similar to love, sort of likes you.

Also read: MASTERLIST

You can follow me on Ao3 and Wattpad under the same blog name: DiYunho.

Just Once - Yoongi/Suga one-shot

Warning: graphic descriptions of drug use and heavy angst. 

Words:  2,733

It was your mother who’d provided you with first taste of heroin.  You were fourteen then and she’d been a junkie for as long as you could remember, a habit left to her by your absentee of a father, and it hadn’t taken long for you to become addicted too.   It was odd, but sharing that nasty had actually served to bring you and your mother closer together. It’d given you a common ground you’d never had before, and it’d taken both of you working together to ensure you got your next fix, working crummy part-time jobs that just about paid the rent and secured  your drug of choice with not much left for anything else.  You wasted away years like that, lost to oblivion, ashamed but unable to find the will the stop.  Take the heroin away and what were you?  A high school dropout with no prospects, no dreams and a bad reputation.  

It was your mother who’d gotten clean first, too.  She’d fallen in love with a man from your local church; a stranger who’d shown her rare kindness and compassion, a better way to live.  With his encouragement, a whole lot of help and her fair share of relapses, she’d finally rid herself of it.  After that, she’d dedicated herself to getting you clean too.  You’d resisted, at first, despite wanting nothing more than to return to that sweet, innocent girl you were once before.   You were so convinced that you’d fail, that you’d only let her down, that it took months for you to even try, and years to actually manage abstain for more than a few months at a time.  

Now, four years on, you’ve been clean for three, and life has never been better.  You’ve got a steady job, and though the pay cheque isn’t the biggest it’s more than enough to make do after so many years of living on nothing.  Your mother is still clean, and married now, too.   You’ve got a small handful of very good friends and  your own  little apartment complete with a sweet, albeit slightly  aloof, feline friend.  The best of it all, though, is your boyfriend; Yoongi.  

You’d met him two years ago as a customer in the restaurant where you work, and soon became friends.  He liked your dry, sarcastic sense of humour, and you liked his grumpy, old man attitude.  Together you made quite the pair, grumbling and griping at one another but knowing there was affection lurking underneath.  Eventually, that affection spilled over into something more and you’d been together ever since, inseparable most of the time.   

It’d taken you a little while to open up to Yoongi about your past and tell him all the sordid little details about that darkest of times.  You were terrified that it’d change the way he saw you or the way he treated you, but if there was one thing you know about Yoongi, it’s that he’s full of surprises.  Behind that distant, slightly cold exterior is a heart warmer than anyone else’s you’ve ever known, someone so loving and compassionate that he’d barely even blinked when you’d spilled it all.  All he’d done was stroke your cheek, telling you how proud he was of you for ridding yourself of those demons, and how you trusting him enough to tell him had only made him love you all the more.  

You’re convinced that you don’t deserve him - not at all - but he seems to think you’re some kind of perfect, always complimenting and praising you.  It’s a stark, unsettling contrast to the years you spent feeling so worthless, to the way you still feel and think about yourself even now.   You know that Yoongi would think the same, too, if he knew how weak you really are, if he knew the way you still long for a hit every single hour of every single day.   

Today is a particularly bad day.  There’s no reason for it; your boss gave you very little hassle, the customers were polite.  Even the weather’s nice, promising a warm summer’s evening for you to spend with Yoongi on your date tonight.  There’s no reason for you to want it, none at all, but God, you do.  It’s like an itch you can’t scratch, a constant craving that’s had you biting at at your pencils and pens all day and forgetting people’s orders, and no matter how you try to fight it you can’t silence that little wayward voice in your head.  It whispers reassurances and lies, telling you that just one hit won’t hurt, that no one would have to know.  And it’s not like just one time would get you addicted again.  People don’t become alcoholics from just one glass of wine, right?  

Before you know it, you’re seeking it out midway through your walk home.  Contrary to popular belief it’s really not that hard to find, especially for someone like you who knows exactly who and what to look for.  It’s not even always the people you’d expect, either, and when you finally spot a likely looking dealer it takes you less than five minutes and even fewer spoken words to score and be on your way again, a little packet of brown powder in one pocket and a syringe and needle in the other.  

It seems to take forever for you to get home after that.  It’d been too easy and now you’re too eager, fiddling with the packet inside your pocket with shaking fingers, biting your lip in anticipation.  You practically run up the stairs of your apartment when you get there,  flinging off your coat as you shut the door and retrieving the paraphernalia as you check the clock.  Yoongi said he’d pick you up at seven; that gives you six hours to get high and come down again.  Plenty of time.  

Grabbing a spoon from the kitchen and a lighter from the drawer you rush into your bedroom, breathing rapidly as you spread it all out on your bedspread and begin the little ritual of preparation.  It comes back to you far too quickly, like it’s been no time at all, and within minutes you’ve melted the powder into a liquid and drawn it up, a pair of your pantyhose tied around your upper arm to get at your veins.  

You’re just about to slide the needle into your arm when your phone vibrates, making you pause with the bevel of the needle poised ready to slide through your paper-thin skin.  You glance over at where it rests on the bedside table to see Yoongi’s name flashing on the screen, and for a moment you almost come to your senses, hesitating for a minute more until your phone goes dark again.  You missed his call, and now it’s just you, the needle, and the brown murky liquid inside which promises such ecstasy.  

No one will ever know.

Just this once.  

A sharp scratch, your finger pressing on the plunger of the syringe and then the warmth of it entering your veins as you exhale.  You place the needle and syringe on the table, untangling the pantyhouse from your arm and managing to sink back into your pillows with a blissful sigh as it hits.  It’s instant euphoria, a feeling of weightlessness that you’d forgotten how much you missed, and once that initial high has gone the drowsiness comes next, your eyes and limbs heavy, your mouth dry.  You vaguely think that you should’ve set an alarm as your eyelids slide closed, sleep pulling you under deep and swift. 

Yoongi knocks at your door, a small smile on his lips and rocking on his heels as he waits for you to answer.  He knows he looks like a schmuck stood there with a posy in his hand, but he also knows they’re your favourite and he knows the way your face lights up whenever he brings you flowers, so stand there like a schmuck he does.    

After a couple of minutes he starts getting impatient - you’re usually really quick to answer to door, practically throwing yourself into his arms - but tonight he can’t even hear you moving around inside when he leans closer to the door.  He knocks once more but doesn’t give it long before experimentally trying the handle.  It’s unlocked, which is odd in itself, and Yoongi can feel the hairs on the back of his neck starting to rise as he steps into your silent apartment.  He’s not sure what it is but something doesn’t feel right, and when he calls out your name to no reply that feeling only gets stronger.

Yoongi pads through your living room, abandoning your flowers on the coffee table and almost jumping out of his skin when your cat suddenly rubs around his ankles.   Hopefully you’ve just gone out and forgotten to lock your door - that way you won’t have heard the girly way he just screamed.  Still, he’s not sure if it’s just his imagination but he could swear even your tabby looks concerned, eyes wider than usual as she turns her back to him and slinks off towards your bedroom, pausing at the door to cast a glance back at Yoongi before slipping inside.  

Instinctively, he follows, trying to fight the panic he can feel rising in his chest.  Your bedroom is dim when he walks inside, your curtains drawn and the lights off.   Your cat jumps up onto the bed, meowing quietly, and it’s then that he notices the  shape of your body underneath the covers.  Yoongi chuckles, the tension from his shoulders disappearing as relief floods through him.   Of course you’re just napping; you’re always napping, and he has come over earlier than you’d originally both planned. Yoongi sits himself gingerly on the edge of your bed, placing a hand on your shoulder and squeezing gently, calling your name.

“Wake up, sleepy head.”  He keeps his voice soft and playful, jiggling you a little more as you fail to respond, smiling down at your sleeping face.  “Time to wake up.”   Again, he gives you a little shake - one that gradually gets harder and more urgent the longer you say nothing.  Your eyelids don’t even twitch, not even when he touches your face, brushing his thumb across your cheek.  In fact, now that he looks closer… are you even breathing?  

Fear’s gripping his chest so tight that Yoongi can barely shout your name as he yanks back the covers, his voice coming out tight and strained.  He grabs at each of your limbs, climbing onto the bed and shaking you as he kneels beside you, brushing your cat out of the way.    

“Wake up, c’mon,” he growls through gritted teeth, taking hold of your chin and turning your head from the side to the ceiling to frantically scan for any signs of life, but when he lets go your head just lolls to the side again, your beautiful hair falling across your face.   His fingers fumble at your neck, groping around to try and find your pulse, his own thundering in his ears, so loud that it’s almost deafening.  Eventually he finds it, and when he does he has to choke back a sob.   

You’re alive, thank god you’re still alive, but by the thready feel of your pulse under Yoongi’s fingertips he’s not sure it’s for long.  It’s so slow and weak, your breathing just as slow and shallow - you need an ambulance, and you need it now.  He gropes for his phone in his pockets and then curses when he realises he left it in the car, both of his hands raking through his hair as his eyes scan your room to finally land on your phone where it lies on the bedside table.  

Yoongi makes a grab for it, hands shaking, already dialling when he notices what else was sat surrounding your phone before he so hastily snatched it up.   A spoon, a needle, a syringe, and a packet holding the remnants of a brown powder he doesn’t recognise.   Oh, he can guess what it is though, he knows all too well.  

“I think… I think my girlfriend has taken an overdose,” he states to the operator, gazing down at you and taking your hand in his.  His voice is suddenly entirely emotionless, as though he’s in a daze, momentarily detached from the situation.  Your skin… it’s so clammy.  

“Heroin.”  

The operator asks him a series of questions which he manages to answer even though he’s only half listening, his eyes fixed on your chest, obsessed with watching the shallow rise and fall of your chest.  It’s stupid, but Yoongi feels like if lets his gaze shift even for a second the next time he looks it won’t move at all, and that sends a chill down his spine so potent that it freezes his insides, making him physically shudder.   

The kind, softly spoken woman on the end of the line tells him to stay with you - as if he’d go anywhere else - and that an ambulance is only minutes away from the address he’d croaked out.   She asks him to stay on the phone, too, just in case anything changes, and though Yoongi keeps the line open he places the it back on the table so that he’s free to touch you with both his hands.  He rolls you onto your back and lies himself down next to you, placing his head on your chest  as he repeats your name again at again, the dull thud of your heartbeat in his ear the only thing keeping him from keeping him from breaking down completely.  

Or so he thought.  On the other end of the phone the operator hears a man begin to sob, and lying there at your side Yoongi’s whole body begins to heave; great, wracking cries ripping through him as he clutches at your body.  He wraps you up in his arms as he has so many times before, his tears soaking through your shirt and turning it transparent, begging you to wake up so many times that his throat becomes hoarse.  

“You can’t,” he tells you fiercely, clutching the fabric of your pants in his fist and roughly tugging at it, punctuating every word.  “You can’t leave me, you can’t, please.”   Yoongi presses his face into you, inhaling your scent and filling his lungs till he can no longer, a broken wail falling from his lips to be smothered by the soft swell of your stomach.  

“I can’t do this without you, baby… I just… I can’t.”

“Please… you can’t leave me here all on my own.”  

“Nothing makes any sense without you.”

“Just… don’t.  I need you.”

“I love you.  Please.”

“Please, baby.”   

When the ambulance crew mercifully arrives, only minutes later, it’s to a harrowing sight.   A girl lying prone on her bed, pale and barely breathing, limbs limp and unresponsive - a boy curled around her sobbing his heart out, rocking the both of them as he pleads over and over for anyone, someone to listen and not to take her away.   They almost have to wrestle you from Yoongi’s arms, so desperate is he not to be separated from you, uncaring that so many strangers are witnessing him cry and scream, tearing at his hair.  

One of them stays with him as they wheel you into the ambulance, standing together on the pavement watching on as you disappear inside, an oxygen mask covering your pretty face.   It’s silent tears that streak Yoongi’s pale face now, an unfamiliar man’s arm placed comfortingly around his shoulder.  The sirens start and then they’re speeding away, taking you with them, and Yoongi can no longer watch.  He closes his eyes, pressing his lips together as he says a silent prayer that that won’t be the last memory he ever has of holding you in his arms.   

He gives himself barely a minute before climbing into his own car and starting the engine, roughly wiping his tears on the sleeve of his jacket and taking hold of the steering wheel, clenching his jaw. Yoongi makes himself a silent promise as he chases after you through the busy streets, driving way too fast but barely hearing the protesting car horns around him.  

Where you go, he’ll follow; whether it be hospital, rehab or something more lasting, more permanent… as long as he’s by your side.

Where you go, he’ll follow.  

Gifs are not mine - credit to owners.

why does this one shot of donghae in the skip beat drama radiate so much nakamoto yuta energy

yeah i know quarantine has me like “kylie we read skip beat way back when and we like SJ why have we not watched this fucking drama yet we should do it NOW”

like. what the flying f u c k

was yuta a skip beat fan who watched the taiwanese live action version and came into SM being like “YEAH I WANNA SING AND LOOK LIKE DONGHAE” ??

we are also just not going to speak about that one time kwanghee straight up overshared and said the doctor told him he’d die if he went through plastic surgery to look like donghae during suju’s most recent episode of weekly idol

falling in crayolove;  (kindergartenteacher!taehyung)

✎ pairing: kim taehyung x reader

✎ genre: kindergartenteacher!au, workingman!au, F L U F F, tiny bit of angst at the start :-( but this is literally 98% fluff; y/n and taehyung are like two little kids with little crushes on each other

✎ trigger warning(s): implications of getting an abortion!!  

✎ wordcount: 10.5k

✎ summary: y/n is a very single mom and taehyung is a very single kindergarten teacher. emma knows exactly what she needs to do.  

✎ note: okay LOOK before you get into reading, this isn’t technically a full fic! this is what happens when you cross a full fic and a baby drabble = this is a BABY FIC which explains why the word count is much smaller compared to the usual! (ps i will probably?? be writing more baby fics for characters such as garbageman!tae or.,,. oTher characters that i can’t think of right now lmao) i was originally going to leave kindergarten!tae as it was and i was just going to continue to write baby drabbles for him but i felt like he deserved a fic?? buT then i was conflicted because his original drabble literally already tells us the full story and i was like ok.,. what else is there to say.,,. sweats,,.. anyways this is what i ended up with! in case you were wondering, yES the original drabble is included in this fic since it’s a crucial part of the story and it would have been a waste to not use it but if you don’t want to read that you’re welcome to just skiP on over to the end lol. also emma is four years old and tae is a pre-kindergarten teacher because i changed my MIND - enjoy!!

pst if u wanna talk to y/n or emma or tae u know what to do ;-)

(gif isn’t mine!)

(((and the read more function iS there but most of the time it doesn’t work on mobile :// i am sorry don’t attack me by sending passive-aggressive anon messages)))

ah, yes.  

to be young and i-

“i’m pregnant?!”

the reason why you came to the doctors today was because you thought you had some sort of stomach flu

at first it wasn’t a big deal

but then it started getting worse and you literally thought you had a parasite from eating at that dingy sushi place and you were mad at jin for like a week because it was hIs idea to go there and it’s not fair that hE didn’t get an upset tummy >:-(

jin reminded you that he warNed you about the sea urchin and you responded by smacking the back of his head

you have to admit

it is relieving to know that there isn’t a dangerous parasite living inside of you and feasting on your organs

it’s a,.,. ???

how would one describe a baby as a parasite

a perfectly natural parasite living inside of you!

Keep reading

What if Killua were to find out Illumi is out to get the big sister Reader either trying to be with her or kill her? Also how would Gon react as well? Side note imagine both Hisoka and Illumi going after big sister Reader and Gon and Killua shielding her away from them idk I just find that being adorable ^_^

This evolved far more than I had expected it to. I honestly was just trying to make a cute little scenario and it turned into this. Someone stop my sinful hands.

Warnings; Overprotective little bros, stalking, Hisoka's general behavior, Illumi never blinks, 12-13 year olds are not good at keeping secrets, surprise guest appearance!

~~~~~~~~

"We should go."

"Hm? But we just got here."

You glanced down at Killua, seeing him gazing somewhere away from the three of you. Both you and Gon wore confused expressions, as Killua was the one who wanted to go the forest to train in the first place. Now he was saying he wanted to leave.

"We shouldn't stay. Let's go."

Killua gripped your hand and pulled you with him, quickly walking away from the area and refusing to look back. Gon followed and kept pace as the three of you moved to a more populated area in the city you had stopped in. Gon heard something about a powerful Nen user and wanting to see them.

Naturally, you and Killua were alright with going anywhere Gon chose, seeing as usually Gon took the initiative on most things. Training was just a typical thing for you three even though none of you honestly needed to train. You couldn't train your nen due to the fact your nen abilities were the kind that could only be cataclysmic or laughably weak with no inbetweens.

If anything, you just accompanied the boys to keep them from making their usual poor decisions. Seeing who can survive going down a massive waterfall is not typically a good idea, but one they've tried several times prior. You were basically an unpaid nanny and elder sibling to the boys.

Recently, they had been acting more suspicious than usual. They would randomly leave places while dragging you with them, checking over their shoulders, constantly trying to direct your attention, and all sorts of other things. It was like they were trying to keep a secret from you, but doing it poorly.

A good part of you wanted to go off on your own to see what on Earth had the two boys so stirred up, but they were insistent on keeping you with them. You wondered if they were just messing with you by playing some kind of game, or if there really was something they were trying to keep from you. At this point, you were tempted to just flat out ask what their deal was.

~~~~~~~~

"Wait, Illumi too!?"

"Shh! Keep it down! Someone's gonna hear you."

"But why is your brother after (y/n) too?"

"Probably wants to get to me or something by using her."

"Wait, does he want to hurt her or not?"

"Don't know. Don't want to find out. What about Hisoka? Figured out what his deal is?"

"Well, he likes fighting people who are strong, right?"

"But wasn't he talking like a pervert when he asked about her?"

"I guess... But I think that's just how he is all the time."

Killua frowned, looking over at the hotel bed (y/n) was sleeping in. Apparently the both of them have a common goal, keeping (y/n) safe. Killua hadn't known Hisoka was after her, but he knew Illumi was. He knew how Illumi usually approached his targets, but Illumi was acting more obvious than usual. Like he wanted to be noticed.

Gon knew Hisoka had been following them for a while, and that he had an interest in (y/n) after she used one of her nen attacks to create a distraction during a fight not too long ago. He was aware with how closely Hisoka was following them, and he was trying to keep (y/n) far away from the homicidal man. It seemed he and Killua were both doing their damndest to protect the woman they saw as a big sister.

"So we have to keep both of them away from her?"

"Might be a good idea."

"Should we tell her?"

"No."

"Why not?"

Killua just sighed, knowing no matter how he explained it, Gon would not take it as an answer and would just ask more questions. Even as he glanced out the hotel window, he kept lookout for any sign of either of the two men. He would not let Illumi or Hisoka hurt (y/n) no matter what.

~~~~~~~~

"Well, look who's here~♠"

"What do you want, Hisoka?"

"So cold! If you must know, I'm here for that lovely creature Killua and Gon travel with."

"... She's mine."

"Oh~? Finally have an interest in someone? Looks like I'll just have to steal her away then."

The black-haired assassin simply stared back at his red-haired associate, feeling a vague level of irritation bubble up inside of him. He had been following the makeshift family group for a good while now and had recently made his decision on what to do with the woman that traveled with his younger brother. He had been considering simply killing her just to get her out of the way while also weakening Killua, but his father had come up with a better solution to the problem.

From what he had been told, (Y/n) had interesting and impressive nen that his father and grandfather had been witness to when they had gone to retrieve Killua. Apparently she had an impressive level of control over natural disasters and could bring them about with her nen. Tornados, tsunamis, earthquakes, volcanos, even meteor showers should the timing be right.

That in and of itself was impressive, but standing up against his father and grandfather was simply amazing. It would be seen as foolish for anyone to face the two alone, but she had only been distracting them long enough to allow Killua time to flee before doing the same. Granted, the two had not been out to kill her specifically, but they weren't against it either.

There was also the fact that she shielded Killua from being injured and put her life on the line to keep him safe. All of these things made it rather clear she was a prime choice to be Illumi's wife.

"She has Killua's trust and can control him better than most. That paired with her nen abilities, she would make an ideal wife."

"Not if I steal her away first. Oh, I can just imagine how delicious the battle will be~ And the added bonus of fucking her once our battle is done~!"

"She doesn't even know who you are."

"... What?"

"She has never actually met you, right? You've only seen one example of her strength and she wasn't even focusing on you."

"Fine. Does she know you?"

"... She knows my family, which is more than you can say."

Hisoka couldn't stop the tisk of annoyance that came from him or the way his grin fell. Illumi was right on that, at least. His lovely (y/n) didn't know who he was or have any contact with those who knew him other than Gon. And if Gon's behavior was anything to go by, he would have a tough time getting close to the woman.

Hisoka turned to continue prodding at Illumi before a smooth and silky voice interrupted him, sounding out from the shadows.

"It seems I have you both beat."

~~~~~~~~

"What do you mean? We've not been acting weird!"

You couldn't help the way that your face reflected just how little you believed the boy standing in front of you. Killua could lie well enough, Gon couldn't tell a convincing lie to save his life, and you already knew both well enough to tell when they were lying. Being fed up with their behavior, you were ready to set in on a full scolding session if they didn't tell you what you wanted to know.

Both boys were doing their best to avoid your gaze and search for a way out of the situation they found themselves in. Killua refused to make eye-contact and a nervous little blush took over his fair cheeks. Gon had that awkward grin and laugh as he tried to weasel his way out of your questioning.

"Boys, for fuck's sake-"

"It's certainly been a while since we last had the chance to meet, (y/n)."

You quickly turned on your heel, guarding the two boys unconsciously from the newcomer. To your surprise, however, you had no reason to worry the moment you saw the mysterious man standing before you. You knew that fur-trimmed coat anywhere and you could already feel the smile pulling up the corner of your lips.

"Chrollo!"

The man smirked slightly at your happy tone as you greeted him, not noticing your additional two observers or the dumbfounded expressions on the faces of everyone other than yourself and Chrollo. Killua was the first to break the silence, clearly stirred up by the sudden turn of events that had taken place.

"Wait, you know him!?"

You chuckled softly, turning back to the white-haired boy with a relaxed smile on your face. The incredulous tone he had taken did not deter or bother you, having actually expected something similar to occur.

"Know him? I grew up with him! He's a childhood friend, of mine. My big brother is one of the original members of the troupe! Of course I know Chrollo."

"But, wait, they call him 'boss'! They never use his name!"

"Yeah, there's no way I'm calling him 'boss' or anything other than his name. Maybe 'friend' but that almost seems too generic."

You hummed in thought, turning away from the gobsmacked boys and back to those familiar eyes, which had yet to leave your figure.

"It seems we've both grown up quite a bit since we last spoke. Though it seemed impossible, you're somehow more beautiful than ever."

"Chrollo..."

A deep flustered blush make your cheeks burn under his relaxed gaze, feeling a kind of giddy excitement in response to his words. You had to admit, you may have been harboring a slight crush for Chrollo since your childhood days and his flattering words were just icing on the cake. A cake you desperately wanted to have a piece of.

"That's cheating!"

The sudden upset voice pulled your attention away from the handsome man to your previously ignored audience. A man with bloody red hair and clown-like face-paint seemed to be more than a little frustrated as he stared at Chrollo. Next to him stood a man with long black hair and emotionless eyes, like a doll's or a shark's, deep pits of nothingness.

Judging from the first man's response, something more seemed to be going on and you wanted answers.

"Okay, just what in the hell is happening?"

You huffed indignantly, hands on your hips as you scanned over the five males who stood around you. Surprisingly, the man with doll eyes was the first to break the silence.

"It would seem a competition to earn your affections has begun."

"Wait, Illumi, you're not trying to kill (y/n)??"

"I was, at first. But more recently I have been attempting to split her away from you and approach her."

"What? Why in the hell do you want to do that?"

"She is the ideal wife for me. Father, Grandfather, Mother, and Great-Grandfather all agree that I should wed her as soon as possible."

"... You... YOU WANT TO MARRY (Y/N)??"

"I believe I have already stated that."

You were caught off guard by the nonchalant way the man spoke, as if he were discussing something as simple as going to the store instead of talking about marrying you. The red-head seemed to be increasingly frustrated and had yet to move his irritated gaze away from you and Chrollo.

"I'd love to fight her first, but I'm not against tying her down to keep as my personal little toy~"

"I won't let you kill (y/n)!"

"Oh, Gon~ Don't look at me like that. I'm not going to kill her. Well, not completely, at least~ I plan on enjoying my fight with her and then enjoying her body even if she's within an inch of death. Is that so bad?"

You suddenly felt rather unsafe near the two men who had just openly admitted to lusting after you and potentially following you during your travels. Not to mention the red-head basically plainly stated he wanted to badly hurt you and beat you before having sex with you. You then turned your gaze to Chrollo, hoping beyond all belief he wasn't playing the same game as the other two.

"My intentions haven't changed for quite a while. I've always found you attractive. I simply refused to let these two scuffle over you when I've had my eyes on you for a while."

"..."

You almost felt like the world was spinning or that you had been punched several times without realizing it. Your childhood friend and crush just openly stated his interest in you, which left you floored with emotions. A clown just spoke about wanting to use you for his pleasure in a fight and during sex. And a living doll basically proposed to you without proposing.

What?

"Wait- Kill, Gon- you two know them?"

"Yeah. We met Hisoka during the Hunter's exam, and Illumi is my eldest brother. There was a big fight between Kurapika and the Phantom Troupe and we got kidnapped so we met Chrollo and the other phantoms."

"... What-? Wait, so that means your father and grandfather- who I have fought against- somehow decided from that fight that I would be a good wife for their eldest son??"

"I guess so. You are super strong and your nen is powerful as all hell. Besides, fighting in my family is a normal thing. That's probably the quickest way to become a friend of the family, actually. Fight well against someone strong in the family, don't die while fighting, and you may as well be an unofficial family member."

"..."

"... You okay, big sis?"

"..."

"Um..? (Y/n)?"

"..."

"Did you go into shock or something?"

Killua cocked his head to the side, watching you stand unblinking as you tried to process everything that happened. It was kinda like you just became a statue after being told everything, which didn't bode well for the two boys. Gon and Killua exchanged a glance, as if trying to confirm what had happened.

"Gon, what do we do?"

"... Run?"

"I'm good with that. I'll grab (y/n), you get us out of here?"

"Yeah!"

Despite the fact that you could hear and see everything still, it felt as if your body had fully shut down. Had you been more in control, you probably would have scolded the boys for making their plan out-loud, but at least their plan involved keeping you safe. Even as you found yourself being carried by the same boy you watched over, you couldn't help but question what you were going to do now.

Hcs of Hawks flirting with his favorite civilian, who's always tongue tied when they're rescued by him because he's so dang handsome?

Hawks:

Jeez, he is so shameless. He isn’t afraid to flirt with you in front of any body or in any situation.

After his first encounter with you, he couldn’t get his mind off you.

The way you blushed and stuttered when he carried you in his arms after saving you made his heart melt. You were just so cute as you continued to thank him the whole time he had you in his arms, and he knew he was only making matters ‘worse’ for you as he kept complimenting you.

But could you really blame him?

Your red cheeks and meek expression just made his chest feel all warm inside. He was hooked.

After that, he’d keep his eye on you, not like in a stalker kind of way, but he just wanted to be there for you each and every time you seemed to be in trouble.

It didn’t matter if it was something trivial like a shoelace being undone, he’d swoop right in and help you tie it.

However, every time he came near you, he was all flirtations and compliments.

He’d have a new compliment for you each and every time he saw you, always giving you compliments on the simplest details about your appearance that would be so smooth you felt as though you would slip away on them.

After each compliment, he’d watch as you would fumble around your words, trying to thank him but only ending up mouthing off some jumbled words and eventually shutting up and trying to hide yourself behind your hands.

It was too cute for him to handle, but he wouldn’t stop.

Eventually, he got kind of physical after saving you, simply giving you a kiss on your hand and winking at you.

It had completely destroyed you. Your face went very red and you felt your knees buckle under you.

Hawks had expected you to mumble and stammer around your words cutely like you normal do, but this time he was in for a surprise.

“Why do you have to keep doing this to me? Don’t you know that girls get flustered when handsome guys talk to them?” You’d say, but would instantly put a hand infer your mouth at saying so.

Way to go, you just let one of the top ten heroes know that you think he’s handsome. Well played.

When Hawks just stared at you after you had said that,  expression unreadable, you wanted the world to break open and swallow you whole, the embarrassment of it all just making you want to disappear.

Before you could turn to leave and run off, he began to laugh, full and hearty.

His laughter only made your embarrassment grow, but it was soon squashed when you heard him talk.

“This is why You’re my favorite civilian. You’re a catch.” He said, giving you yet another wink that sent your heart sky bound.

Once again, you were reduced to a stuttering mess, trying to find the right words to say but nothing of sense coming out, Hawks watching you like a hawk with a smile.

“You’re too cute for your own good.”