You Would Think That Wash Is The Mom Of Blue Team, Right?
You would think that Wash is the mom of blue team, right?
Wrong, it’s Tucker.
Tucker had to parent Caboose since he arrived at blood gulch, making sure he ate something other than candy, making sure he took his medicine that was often hidden in food, making a sleep schedule so Caboose went to bed on time etc etc.
And then he had Junior and you bet your ass Tucker is gonna be the best dad he can be to that kid. That is his son. His pride and joy. The reason why he keeps going even when things get tough.
Which means that by the time Wash has joined the team, Tucker is a practiced parent. He can cook, he can make schedules and (mostly) keep to them, he can have emotional talks and knows how to comfort, he remembers so much shit off the top of his head (birthdays, favorite things, etc), he always has snacks, and everyone in the blood gulch crew look to him to make the final call.
He’s their trusted responsible adult. He is the mom.
Wash is the stepdad trying his very best to earn the kids’ approval. He’s awkward around them at first as he learns how to insert himself into their pre-established dynamics.
He’s unbelievably patient and kind to them, mostly because he feels the need to make it up to them and to repay them for saving his life, but he still has to earn their respect. Even after he does get their trust and friendship, he gets sass and snark for any order he gives, but at least they listen to him (and he can snark back without it turning into an argument).
(Does this make Church the dad of blue team? Maybe. Does this mean Tucker and Wash are married? In the eyes of everyone else, yes)
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meets an encouraging, patient, fatherly commanding officer that chooses tucker specifically for an assignment and takes him under his wing. he’s actually a secret operative for a sinister military project recruiting tucker as a target practice guinea pig orchestrating the next couple years of his life to be a lie.
meets an alien that tells tucker he’ll help him fulfill the quest he’s the legendary hero of. he chestbursts him and steals a getaway vehicle given upon the “end” of the quest.
meets some weird computer program programmed by the culture the prophecy came from, pretty much the only remaining source of information about this “quest” that’s upended his life. it’s actually the ai of the freelancer trying to kill him and kidnap and use his kid to end the great war… uh, with slavery of the alien species
meets one of his best friends, an acquired taste and kind of an ass, but they give each other as good as they get and they’re a team. she leaves them to make the plan to capture junior and use him to enslave his species succeed. and tucker feels like can’t even be mad about it without feeling guilty because in her mind she was sacrificing herself and junior to save humankind from a losing war for survival, and immediately after he thinks she fucking dies and takes his kid with her!! they were friends and then for a few minutes they were almost enemies because she did the worst thing for the best reasons and then that’s it!!! how do you even grieve and process that. apparently tucker opted for watching reservoir dogs instead of therapy and i can’t blame him. that’s not the sort of grief you can find a self-help book for. HELLO I’VE BEEN SCREAMING FOR YEARS. never over it they make me insane.
meet some humans on the desert dig-team, charismatic down-to-earth soldier guys. breath of fresh air after he’s been stuck for months in complicated political situations with a species that has just recently decided to perhaps not kill all humans, as a reluctant religious figurehead in diplomatic corps that i’m sure just loved his way with words and women. bet he made a lot of friends there. the dig team kills them all except him and he proceeds to spend the next months in a psychological thriller slash survival horror.
meet church again. church leaves again (and then again) and tucker’s left furiously picking up the pieces of blue team with caboose and some blond guy they rescued from the pound. we needn’t talk about that blond guy and whether tucker knows he both set up and hit the Original Church Killswitch lest tucker doesn’t know and hears us because i think he doesn’t need that extra complication in his life tbqh.
meets a charismatic mercenary with a rough exterior, but a heart of gold, right when tucker and caboose have lost all of blue team’s charismatic mercenaries and/or assholes with a rough exterior but a heart of gold. he. well. he stabs him in the back, guys. you know. i can’t get more on-the-nose than that.
meets church again. he seems like maybe he kind of gets that he was an ass and won’t go off killing himself this time. immediately after reconciling he sees the siren call of martyrdom and kills himself instantly after simulating several ways it could go very, very extremely badly for tucker, not even counting the previous evidence from how this went for some blond guy (sorry i’m committed to just calling him some blond guy in this post now for no reason except that i think it’s a mildly funny bit).
meets church someone else who’s been fucked over by project freelancer. he’s been manipulating them to get close enough to freezermurder their friends and implicate them in terrorism charges.
meets yet another young stray asshole with Issues and a heart of gold who needs some guidance, maybe someone he can be the kind of a leader he wishes he could have been to green team. she also stabs him again.
at some point we have to let tucker just start stabbing people. like a lot of people. i don’t think he’d enjoy a villain arc once he realizes that’s what’s happening but he deserves the sheer free joy and clarity of just solving problems with pure simple stabbing before he comes to that realization.