The Saddest Part In Life Is Saying Goodbye To Someone You Wish To Spend Your Lifetime With

The saddest part in life is saying goodbye to someone you wish to spend your lifetime with

I gave the worst narcissist I've ever met my heart and he completely shattered what was left of it. He added to the mix of ingredients/reasons as to why I feel safer being alone. Everyone says you need other people to function. Whether that's friends and other family members....and I was brainwashed into believing that bullshit too. Heck even the Bible suggests your supposed to congregate with your tribe. Etc etc.....but after the shit life I've been dealing with since birth. Dealing with bullshit from both sides of my family. Not having a single family member I can trust enough to go to now. And being backstabbed by every single person God has ever put in my life. And abandoned at least once by some that are still currently in my life over miscommunication......it is evident that I don't need nobody. I have less than a handful of people in my phone book I talk to and that's periodically....and I'm fine with that....because I don't even feel like verbally talking to people anymore. Kindness will get you killed. Either the person your trying to give your heart to will kill you, or a person will send you over the edge and you will commit suicide from frustration of their constant betrayal. So that's the main reason as to why I selected this horrific most heartbreaking scene from the movie "dark shadows" when Angelique pulled out her own heart to prove to Barnabas that he's ALWAYS had her heart all he needed to do was take it and take care of it. But he refused, and rejected her. Only used her for sex, lead her own to believe they could be a thing if only he would look past the sex, she practically banged her head on concrete to get him to see her from the inside, but he deliberately hurt her feelings. And he forced himself to believe she was this evil broad who had no heart, who could not love. Just so he wouldn't be responsible for her hurt feelings. He was an asshole to her. Then had the shocked/i dont understand/boo-boo face when she got mad and retaliated on him? I hate males like that. And in this scene he sat there staring at her so cruel so evil like, and watched her heart break 💔 😢 😔 until it killed her. I'm so fucking done with men (for the 2nd and final time) I'm going to take my RV, run away to somewhere recluse and quite outside a city, and stay like that until God comes back. Enough is enough, I've had more than enough of people stabbing me in the back, taking from me and never giving back. And clearly God and the devil keep sending me people who are evil narcissist and I don't need that anywhere near me and my seed.

Please forgive yourself for all the versions you couldn't become. Forgive yourself for the wrong things you said. Forgive yourself for not knowing what you wish you knew by now. Forgive yourself for the darker and shadowed parts of you, that are still just as beautiful. We have to learn to be able integrate all of the parts of ourselves because they are each in their own ways magnetic and beautiful.

i wish i wasn’t so disposable