Sushiwrote - ⩩𝓢𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐖𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐄 .. 🧸¥.

just belted this around my living room while my cookies baked in the oven. what a night. what a song.

❛ It’s not more so the engagement for me, it’s just that lately I’ve found myself torn between keeping my work private and the exhausting effort of trying to capture an audience’s attention, or make sure everything’s ‘ perfect ‘ or ‘ quality ‘ for the enjoyment of others. That’s why these writing platforms are so dead too, people lack the attention span or interest in anything they didn’t create themselves. People aren’t truly reading to read anymore; they’re merely consuming other people’s shit to regurgitate it and call it their own. Like nobody wants to read for the love of it anymore because they wanna be ‘ writers ‘ and self-important with their own engagement, nothing wrong with a surge of writers or people wanting to tell a story, everybody got one but the ratio being so off has become a big road block.

It’s been like that for a little while now and the shift makes it harder to make readers care about a story and its characters the way that the author does, you get me ? It’s like, why would I put all this effort and time into doing this for reception, or engagement when I can just do this shit for myself without the pressure and the headaches ? I wanna write and put things out because people really do support it when I do but at the same time… I don’t want to do that……….. at all anymore because it’s kinda fried and burnt out for me personally.

And it’s not to say that NOBODY AT ALL READS ANYMORE TO SUPPORT OTHERS OR FOR THE ENJOYMENT BECAUSE THAT’S NOT TRUE WHATSOEVER, but once you get so comfortable with partaking in things simply for your own love of it and your own escapism— it’s hard to go back to doing it for the consumption of others. When it’s just been you and the time you’ve invested into your drafts, world building, planning, character development, chapters and drabbles, whatever it is… it’s like your baby at this point.

Like hell nah I don’t want this to be taken away from me or undervalued by somebody else. That’s what sucks the fun out of it. When you insert the stress of consumption and other people’s input or lack thereof . When you do things for you, it’s vulnerable, it’s sacred atp.

❛ See, the problem is… I’ve had these characters in my head for two going on three years, writing for my own enjoyment. My inspiration comes and goes in sporadic bouts, leading to phases of intense investment followed by periods of inactivity. When you write, you inevitably infuse parts of yourself into your work, which brings a sense of vulnerability. All my shit is deeply personal to me. Graphics, writing, whatever it is, it’s me. I have gotten so comfortable in my own ‘ delusion ‘ and my own world building and connections for this specific body of work… creating and doing it for the consumption of others means dealing with people’s selfishness, things not resonating or being received how they should be, and all around— accepting the fact that people might not appreciate the effort and personal connection behind it.

Like yeah people will support a story, they’ll engage, some might be vultures and steal, whatever it is, but to them these are just stories. For me it’s specific memories tied to a lot of these scenes, chapters, paragraphs, whatever you wanna call it. I don’t know if I’m ready to give up the escapism I find in just doing shit for me. I like the exclusivity because I can be raw, imperfect and honest without all the trouble or extra noise.

ALSO WANT TO ADD: Nowadays, it’s even more challenging to write FOR AN AUDIENCE because people’s attention spans are fried and their selfishness means they seldom invest time in reading anybody else’s work anymore. You can’t make people care about your characters like they used to because they are too preoccupied with their own books and tryna write shit for themselves. The writer to reader ratio is fucked a lil bit.

TUMBLR MY SAFE PLACE, ALL DEM OTHER APPS TOO MUCH CHAOS