Lost.

—lost.

pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader

genre: fluff, non-established relationship, college au, dance major hyunjin, art major reader

word count: 2.5k

summary: when hyunjin invites you over to watch a movie. or maybe two.

a/n: helloooo, this is a watercolor bonus part i had in my drafts for forever lmao. it's supposed to be right after part 21, when hyunjin invites y/n over to watch a movie. since i had nothing planned for jinnie's birthday and this was pretty much done, i decided to finish it (fix it) for once and for all jdñskdñs. i hope you guys enjoy! please let me know your thoughts on it, you know i love gossiping with you all<3

You had been the one to make the first move that evening. It was subtle, innocent — your head gently resting on Hyunjin's shoulder as your backs rested against the couch.

For a moment there, you had wondered whether he had even noticed that small act of yours, for his eyes remained focused on the movie playing in front —Your Name, just like he had promised when he had invited you over— and you had not felt him neither relax nor tense up over your bold move.

His lack of reaction could only make you anxious, not to say embarrassed. However, just as you had given up and were starting to sit back up, Hyunjin's arm was loosely placed over your shoulders, stopping you from moving away from him and then taking it one step further by resting his hand on your upper arm, so he could pull you closer to him and keep you from moving further away.

A small smile curved up the corners of your mouth, snuggling up against him and then letting a contented sigh out when his head rested on yours.

That's how it started, at least. Snuggling with him being as much as you were expecting that day.

That being as much as you needed to be the happiest.

But then his thumb began to draw small circles on your arm — goosebumps showing up on your skin, managing to let you know just how much the most simple of touches from him affected you. It would've been embarrassing if you weren't already so open about your feelings for him.

Then you looked up at him with a shy smile, and he smiled back; his eyes matching the sweetness of yours as they looked up at him.

Everything after that felt natural, almost familiar.

He leaned in ever so carefully and gently bumped his nose on yours. You let out a breathy laugh, and cupped his cheek in your hand as your lips finally met midway.

Just like that, not even a minute later, you were lying down on the sofa after Hyunjin had softly pushed you back down on it — the movie now long forgotten while he laid on top of you and his tongue opened its way into your mouth.

No matter how many times you kissed —which, to be fair, had not been that many since that one night at the art studio—, you could not seem to get used to it.

The ever so soft feel of his plump lips on yours, the way they trapped your own in between, the way his tongue would massage yours in a way that would drive you crazy in a second and the way his hot breathing would mix with yours… Everything about him and his kisses was perfect. Absolutely perfect. And you were sure that no matter how many times you got to get a taste of his lips, you would not be able to grow used to it, nor to get enough of it.

Which is why a small whine abandoned your mouth when his lips were no longer on yours, leaning in looking for them once again and earning a low chuckle from him before he leaned down to plant one last chaste kiss on them to calm your needy ass. Before you could protest again, his mouth was placed on the corner of your lips, then on your cheek, on your chin — simply as that, peppering kisses all the way down to your neck.

Your breathing became heavier with the first touch of his wet lips to the sensitive skin on your neck, unconsciously tilting your head so he could have better access to it. You could feel Hyunjin smiling against your flesh, enjoying both the taste of you and the effect he had on you, as he felt you shiver under his touch.

Nuzzling the crook of your neck, he couldn't help a breathy laugh from escaping his mouth over the way you had pulled slightly away before he could press a kiss to it. 

Ticklish. 

That didn't stop him, though, and you were glad he did not give up. If anything, you smiled in utter content when his lips were placed on the sensitive spot they had tried kissing seconds ago.

"Don't you dare leave a mark" you warned him the moment you felt his teeth ever so faintly graze your skin.

Hyunjin chuckled against the spot he had been teasing, pressing one last open mouth kiss to it before he went back up to your mouth. "Why?" his lips brushed yours. "Don't want other guys to know you were with me?"

Your laugh was muffled by him, as his lips trapped your bottom one. "They wouldn't know you were the one I was with anyway".

Watching his mouth open slightly agape in defeat, you chuckled, pulling him into another kiss by the collar of his hoodie. That was all it took for him to let your taunting words go, as he got lost in your addictive touch.

A small, breathy moan escaped his mouth and was muffled by yours when your fingers ran through his hair and gently pulled at it. That got you a lip bite in response — his teeth ever so teasingly catching your bottom lip in between them and tenderly pulling at it, before his mouth was once again doing wonders on yours.

The hand of his that had been holding your waist all along loosened its grip on you, travelling down to the hem of your sweater and lifting it slightly up as he dug his hand inside. An almost inaudible gasp ran past your lips at the feel of his warm hand on your bare skin. 

His touch was gentle, as opposed to the rather passionate way his mouth was sucking on yours. He held your waist once more, just like he had been doing before — only now his thumb was drawing gentle circles on your hot skin.

Gentle. Everything about his touch right then was gentle. So goddamn gentle, it was almost painful. 

Gentle enough to make you melt underneath him. Gentle enough to let you know you were in too deep.

"Wait…" you managed to mumble against his lips. "I don't—I'm not…"

"I'm not trying anything," he promised, catching on to your hesitation. "I won't do anything, don't worry".

You nodded, only then managing to catch your breath. "Okay…"

Hyunjin smiled, allowing a light laugh to escape his mouth as he rested his forehead on yours.

"What?" you wondered, feeling the corners of your mouth curving up at the mere sight of his smile.

He shook his head in amusement, simply cupping your cheek in his other hand. "You're so cute".

You felt your cheeks burn, having to look down in order for him not to realise just how flustered he made you feel.

"I just wanna touch you here," he confessed, running his thumb up and down the curve of your waist. "Can I?"

You smiled softly, with a simple nod giving him the green light he was waiting for not to remove his hand, and to connect his lips with yours for what felt like the hundredth time that night. His kisses now matched the gentleness of his thumb against your skin.

Pressing one last kiss to your mouth and giving you a smile that had you once more melting right then and there, he rested his head on your chest — hand still caressing your waist under your sweater as he focused back on the movie.

As delusional as it sounded, he couldn't stop his mind from wandering back to when you and Felix had been watching movies together at your place. He remembered how Felix had told him you made a great pillow, and although he one hundred percent agreed, he could only wonder if he had been lying down on you like this.

Hyunjin thought he only hated the idea of you and Changbin together. But right then, as images of Felix being in his place before invaded his mind, he realised he also hated the idea of you and him together.

One of your hands resting on his back and the other one on his head, so your fingers could ever so tenderly run through his hair in such a way he wished you would never stop, was all it took for all those thoughts of his to go away.

You were with him right then. You were underneath him, kissing him and snuggling him. Every other guy in your life could not mean any less of a threat.

-—-—-—-—-—-—-♡

Letting out a relaxed sigh when the credits began to roll, Hyunjin made himself more comfortable on your body, quietly enjoying the way your fingers were still lovingly massaging his scalp.

"Should we watch another movie?" he wondered after a couple of seconds, scared of either saying or doing anything that would have you move away from him.

You failed to give him an answer, instead removing your hand from his hair, just like he had feared. Confused at the sudden loss of your touch, he lifted his head up to take a look at you, only to be met with your glossy eyes and wet cheeks as you rushed to dry them out with the back of your hands.

"You're crying?" Hyunjin asked, a pinch of worry and one of endearment clear in his eyes.

You shook your head no. "M—not".

A soft smile curved up his mouth, removing your hands from off your face so he could take over instead — small strokes of his thumbs on your cheeks managing to wipe the few tear stains that were left. 

"You're so cute, oh my God" he giggled.

"Shut up…" you whined, not finding it in you to hold his stare as his eyes turned into two crescent moons. "I wasn't joking when I told you to have tissues prepared for me".

Hyunjin laughed under his breath, nuzzling the crook of your neck before he obnoxiously wrapped his arms around you. "And I told you my arms around you were better".

You rolled your eyes. "Yeah… I'm not so sure about that".

"You don't believe that" he hummed, playfully pinching your sides before he looked back up at you. "So how about another movie? One that'll lift up your mood?"

"Do we have time for another one?" you wondered.

His eyebrows furrowed. "What do you mean?"

"Isn't Changbin coming home soon? Or Seungmin?" you tilted your head questioningly. "Although I guess they could always join us".

Eyebrows knitting even closer together, he took his phone out of his pocket so he could check the time. "There's still some time before Bin hyung comes back. And I doubt Min-ie is coming back anytime soon, he'll probably still be at yours when you go back".

You joined in his laughter at that. Chae hadn't texted you at all, so you thought Hyunjin was onto something. She and Seungmin were probably going to enjoy every last second they got alone together at your dorm.

"Okay then," you smiled. "Do I get to pick the next one?"

"Mhm…" he nodded, sitting up for a moment so he could look for the remote that had been thrown somewhere in the middle of your previous make out session. "Something that won't make you cry".

"Oh! Let's watch something from Studio Ghibli" you perked up, taking the remote from his hands. 

"Oh, so you're one of those?" he teased, a bright smile adorning his lips.

"Shut up, their art style is amazing" you bit back, not sparing him one glance while you searched for the movie you were looking for. "We're watching Howl's Moving Castle and you're liking it".

"I do like it" he chucked, going back to rest on your chest. 

"Good," you nodded as you pressed play. 

"You know, you're very defensive when it comes to Studio Ghibli" Hyunjin taunted.

You laughed under your breath, earning a small laugh from him as he felt your chest shake underneath him. "I just love their movies so much".

"I can see that," he smiled. "Although I can't tell whether you like Howl's Moving Castle for the plot or for Howl, like every other screaming girl".

Your mouth opened in full offense, shoving him off by his shoulders and having him giggle at the sight of you. "You take that back now".

"Am I wrong, though?" he pushed it instead.

"I'd choose my next words very carefully if I were you, Hwang Hyunjin" you squinted your eyes at him. "You do look like Howl after all".

His mouth opened in what looked like a perfect 'o'. "I so do not".

"You do!" you fought back, hands digging back in his hair. "If you let your hair grow, you'd be a perfect cosplay of him".

"You're delusional now" he accused you.

"I'm not" you tauntingly stuck your tongue out.

Watching his eyes roll in amusement, you did not miss the way his smile had turned into a smirk. "Is that why you like me so much then?"

Your cheeks burned up in a second, looking away from him as a throaty laugh of his reached your ears. 

Good thing you had always been open about your enormous crush on him.

Before you could move on to another topic or even try to come up with a witty reply, you felt his cloudlike lips trap your bottom one in them. "You're cute" he mumbled against your mouth, pressing another chaste kiss to it.

"You've said that a lot today" you smiled, shyly.

He chuckled. "Just being honest".

"Can we watch my one and only love, Howl, now?" you teased.

Hyunjin laughed under his breath, giving you a small nod and a soft kiss before he was resting on your chest again. "Yeah, we can watch the cartoon version of me now".

Although you had rolled your eyes at his way with words, you said nothing, finding yourself getting lost in the moment not even a minute into the movie — lost in the way Hyunjin's face pressed on your chest, lost in the way his hand dug back inside your sweater and caressed your skin just like he had asked for permission earlier that day.

Lost in the movie, and in the way your breathing was in sync with his. 

Lost in the way the warmness of his body was enough to make you feel the most as peace you had ever been.

So lost in it, that you missed the way Hyunjin had snuck his phone out of his pocket and had texted Changbin, asking, if not begging, for him to stay out of their shared place for a couple more hours so he could be alone with you.

So lost in your feelings for him and how you did not want this moment to ever end, that you managed to miss the way he, too, wanted to stay with you like this for as long as he could.

tag list: @blaaiissee @hyuneytoast @staysuki @tardiscompanion @princehyun-jin @hyuka-luvbot @halesandy @nattisbored @qnjayn @hibuki-chan @purenjuniverse @seungly @suhnnyskiess @midsoulz @kwanisms @esme-ordaz @perriwiinkle @firnze @soobin-chois @moon-320 @multifandomizer @elviransworld @valewoos @ktttwwn @hazzaloveschopsuey @hannahdinse8 @youngestdelacour @zoe8stay @leechanniee @phenomenalgirl9 @aeminju @threevracha @euphroseia @laryisthinking @wolfietara @iam2out @kingggjaay @cosmic-railwayxo @straykidsficsrecsbaby @marsophilia @choibeomgogi @ddaengpotate @oceanyocean @rinsdesires @jhslmhbtsskz @lixlovesworld @keenlampponyclam @yerimselgi @mal-lunar-28 @littlestarhyun

PROMPT DRABBLE

Prompt: 'You don't own me'

Pairing: Chan x female reader

WC: 1.1k

Warnings: angst, angst and more angst, established broken relationship, relationship discourse re monogamy and open, implied infidelity, hurting and crying and a hug I'm fine I promise

“Your stuff is in the front room.”

How you’d been dreading this day.

“Thanks,” you said.

Stepping into the house you once shared with the man that now only regarded you with cold disdain felt like entering a graveyard. In the entrance hallway, all pictures had been taken down; their frames imprinted by dust on the wall. In the front room—a space in which you spent many a late night with takeout and wine and laughter aplenty—there was no trace of you left. The ornaments you’d picked out, the décor you’d arranged, the sofa throws and the cushions and the plush faux-fur rug you’d made love on in the early days: all of it.

A lump of emotion rose in your throat, testing your composure. You’d known this would be hard, but—

“I think that’s everything,” Chan said from behind you, gesturing to the three cardboard boxes stacked high and taped tightly. “If there’s anything missing, you’ll have to let me know.”

You blinked through the sting in your eyes and nodded. “Right.”

Approaching the tower of your belongings, your attention was caught by a scrawling of black marker on the side of the topmost box. Someone had written something, then had scribbled over it erratically. Clearly not well enough, for you could just about decipher it.

“Witch?” you read it out loud, heart sinking.

Chan grimaced. “Sorry. Seungmin was helping me pack everything...”

“I see.”

“Thought I’d coloured over it enough.”

“It’s fine.”

It wasn’t fine, actually, but hashing it out with Chan would achieve precisely nothing. His friends’ opinion of you was now muck; you could almost hear the shit they no doubt slung around and about your name. There was no way Chan hadn’t contributed to it.

You lifted the first box from the stack, surprised by its hefty weight. Chan looked on as you lumbered it to the front door and out to the street, where your car waited.

“Need a hand?” he called from the door.

“No. Thanks.”

Popping the boot and hauling the box inside, you panted through the burn in your arms, rubbing them as you headed back to the house. Chan stepped aside for you to enter.

“I can help, you know,” he said.

“I don’t need your help.”

Chan scoffed. “Right. You never did.”

Your stomach churned uncomfortably. “Don’t start, Chan. Please. I’m just here to get my stuff, then I’ll leave.”

“Get on with it then.”

You turned to glare at him, and in the afternoon light of the bare front room, saw how gaunt he looked. Chan was always on the slimmer side—had been for as long as you’d known him—but this wasn’t the product of any sort of health kick.

Anger suddenly dampened, concern came to the forefront.

“Are you eating enough?” you asked.

Chan’s eyes narrowed under his snapback. “Really?” he snapped.

“What?”

“You’re pretending to give a shit?”

“I’m not pretending, you look like you’ve lost weight—”

“Right, because I’m not fucking eating, but what concern is that of yours? You forfeited any right to check in on me when you destroyed our relationship.”

Rage and upset gathered tightly and brought you to a tremble, tears boiling up before you could hope to quell them.

“Destroyed our relationship?” you repeated, voice breaking. “You really think that’s what I did?”

“I know it is. Look at where we are, what we’re doing. None of this would be happening if it weren’t for you.”

You took a deep breath, blinking tears to their escape. “Suggesting that we open our relationship was not me trying to destroy it. I just wanted something new for us, something that we could explore together—”

Chan held his hands up. “And that’s where we’re different. I never wanted anyone else. I didn’t want anything new.”

“You’re a liar!” you started towards him, emotion now spilling over in waves of hopelessness. “I saw the way you were with that girl from the café; how you two flirted and texted all the goddamn time.”

Chan’s face went pallid with mortification. “What?”

“I never resented you for it,” you said, “I didn’t want to be the kind of delusional that believes her boyfriend is planning to cheat, so I thought opening things up would be easier. It would have taken the thrill of secrecy away, would have taken the pressure off, given us room to breathe a little. But you just... you didn’t want to see it that way.”

“Because it’s not right,” he seethed, taking a step towards you. “I was never going to do anything with her—”

“How could I have known that, Chan? How was I supposed to interpret things when you never communicated with me?”

“You were supposed to fucking trust me.”

“No,” you shook your head, swiping tear-streaked cheeks with your palms, “that’s not fair. It’s not fair to throw that at me now. I trusted you with every fibre of my being. I wouldn’t have even suggested opening up if I didn’t.”

Chan yanked off his snapback and raked a hand through his curls. Pain wrote all over his face, pulling his brows together, thinning his lips.

“Did you... want to see other people?” he then asked.

“In that moment, not really. But if you had agreed, I’d have tried. Seen what’s out there.”

“So I would have had to watch you dating other people? Watch random fucking guys trying to get you into bed?”

“No. Not if you didn’t want to, and if that were the case, I would have wanted boundaries between you and the café girl instead. If you chose monogamy, I was going to ask you to respect that. Opening things only would have worked if we were in it together. But you just... you called everything off. Ended it.”

Chan sagged against the wall. Tears dampened his thick lashes, his cheeks blotched pink with stress.

“I tried to tell you all this. You didn’t want to hear it.”

“Because you were supposed to be mine,” he said. “Just mine.”

Your chest throbbed warm and with a pain of yearning you’d never felt. The simple truth of things was so much bleaker when cards were played and hands shown.

“You don’t own me,” you said. “You never did.”

He nodded, slow and controlled. Then he looked up at you, your eyes meeting across the skeleton of your once shared life.

“But I love you,” he whispered.

You crossed the small space and, without a second thought, embraced him in what was to be your final farewell. Arms around his neck, his around your waist, your bodies drew close and warm as tears were shed freely.

For the first time in your life, you prayed for the healing touch of time to come quickly.

thinking about changbin as some sort of boss, higher-up, or even ceo, sitting in a meeting…

…but all he does is sit pretty in his chair, shifting his legs in his seat so the vibrator in his ass hits him in the right spot. he’s holding his whispered pleas, flushed face, and begging eyes behind the company documents he’s supposed to sign.

he only looks at you — the real boss — and blinks slowly, signaling if you could put the vibe on the highest setting for a split second. changbin’s willing to risk the loudest (and prettiest) yelp in a room full of business chatter just so he could cum to you in the middle of work.

Best Friend!Reader texting Stray Kids "you're pretty"

Warnings : swearing, name calling (affectionate), being asked if you're drunk, mention of Jeongin's questionable shoe choices

A/N : For the anon who asked 🫶 Also thank you so so so much for all the love! If you have any suggestions or requests, send them my way 🫶

VESPER PREVIEW.

Hyunjin x reader. (s,f)

Synopsis: You've been praying every night for someone like Hyunjin to come and when he finally did, you doubt that he would approve your job as a stripper.

Preview under the cut!

...

All of these eyes are on you.

You're supposed to be the one looking at them but it's the opposite, you feel like you are the painting and not the other way around.

Wish you could understand paintings, you wonder how these people who attended the art gallery get to talk about them like they're reviewing a book while here you are, trying not to be intimidated by all the stares you got from these people in a painting.

"Fascinating, isn't it?" A voice says.

You didn't know someone is standing next to you and looking at the same painting with you until you turn your head to the side.

"Oh, well, I'm just wondering why the little girl is giving me the side eyes," you playfully remarked.

He softly chuckles and lightly nods, "yeah, she's looking not happy."

One look is enough to know that he's tall and 60 percent of that height goes to his legs and the 10 percent is the dark long hair that curtained his small face. His eyes, nose, lips, and everything on his face complement each other

You have to actively tell your brain to stop staring at his beautiful face.

"I don't understand a thing about paintings," you mutter and everyone can probably see how out of place you are. You are here for something else not to look at these art pieces that you know you don't have the capability to comprehend it.

"You're lucky that I'm here then," he says with a nice smile.

You smile back but resist the urge to look at him, God knows that you'll not stop staring once you do. You keep looking straight ahead and endure the side eyes of the little girl in the painting instead.

"This is Las Meninas by Diago Velázquez," he introduces you even though there's already a card with a short introduction of the painting below it.

"It's a nice painting, right?" He asks with his body turned at you.

You nod even though you're not sure if it's 'artistically' nice based on your judgment as someone who doesn't know anything about art. But is it pleasing to the eyes? Yes.

"But what makes this painting so interesting is because it has a secret illusion," he says with a suppressed excitement in his voice.

You tip your head to the side, "really?"

"A lot is going on here but let's break it down," he then takes a step closer to your side to explain further about the painting.

"First, the little girl is giving you the side eye," he starts.

"Yes."

"Then these people must be her entourage," he says as his hand to point the part of the painting he's explaining to you.

"Someone is creeping in the back steps, there's the painter, and then..." he glances at you before continuing to speak.

It gets you intrigued that you turn to face him unintentionally, "what?"

"You see that mirror on the back wall?" He asks.

"That's a mirror?" You ask back since you didn't notice it before.

"Yes, and the reflection in the mirror is meant to be us."

"Us?" You sound like you heard that word for the first time in your life but liked it without knowing the meaning of it.

He nods and lines himself to stand right next to you then looks back at the painting.

"With all that considered, from where we're standing as the viewers, we're the ones being painted looking at the rest of the room."

He gently places his hand on your shoulder and turns your body slightly to the left to make you look at a certain part of the painting.

"The square shape coming off the side, that's the canvas, and that guy..." he pointed to the guy holding a brush in one hand and a pallet in the other, "he's painting us."

It's like someone flips the switch in your head and the light bulb finally lights up, everything makes sense to you now. It seems like he’s the one who's enjoying your moment of enlightenment the most.

"In the present time, we're getting used to this perspective because we have things like phones which make us understand this perspective of being behind or in front of a camera," he eloquently explains as if he memorized the textbook explanation of it.

"But he made this painting in 1656 and this perspective thing must be trippy for its time. That's what makes this painting so groundbreaking," he finished.

"Wow!" That's all you can mutter as you try to process all of these pieces of information in your head.

On the other hand, it's nice to hear an explanation from someone who knows what he's talking about and doing it so passionately. Not only that it's very informative, but also, low-key hot.

There's just something about a person who talks about something he truly passionate about.

"I am indeed lucky that you're here," you playfully remark with a low laugh.

You've been avoiding looking at him long enough that it feels impolite, slowly you turn your body to face him. You find him shyly smiling and brushing his hair to the back.

"Are you working here?"

He lifts his head but now it's his turn to avoid your eyes, "No, but I'm a painter."

"Oh, that explains!" You say.

When he finally meets your gaze, your heart skips a beat and you stop breathing for a second which is something that rarely happens to you when you've seen so many kinds of men when you're at work.

"If you don't mind me asking, why are you here if not for the paintings?" He asks.

A man with manner, that's a first. You confidently look at him as you speak, "my friend works here and I'm waiting for her so may as well look around..."

"Your friend is a curator?" He wildly guesses.

"No," you answer, "she's working at the front desk. You probably saw her when you came in."

"Ah..." he nods.

There's a silence going on for a moment and he brushes his hair to the back, looking like he hesitates to ask you something.

You decide to keep the conversation going, "are you coming alone?"

He sheepishly smiles, "no, I'm coming with a friend," he proceeds to point at a guy with bleached blond hair who's looking at a painting on another side of the gallery.

Somehow you feel good that he makes it clear that he comes with a friend or maybe it's your question that is pretty much the equivalent of asking if he's single or not.

Your phone vibrates inside your purse and you open it to check a new message from your friend, telling you that she's already waiting in the lobby.

"I'm sorry but my friend is already waiting," you say to him.

He looks at you, then at your phone, "can I have your number?"

You offer your phone instead to him, "why don't you put your number on mine?"

He takes it from you and types his numbers on it, then hits the call button so he can have your numbers on his phone as well.

He introduces himself as he hands your phone back to you, "I'm Hyunjin."

He offers his big hand with slender fingers with bracelets around on his dainty wrist for a handshake.

You shake his hand and introduce yourself back to him, his hand is cold but once you see his smile, you feel warm all over.

You're not sure if his personality will match his beautiful appearance because you can’t decide on it yet.

But is he pleasing to the eyes? The answer is a million times yes.

-

The full fic will be posted tomorrow!

Part Four: Star Pupil

🌹 prev 🌹 masterlist 🌹 next (coming soon)

🌹 taglist: @drhsthl @propertyoftoru

He walked towards the open door of your room, smiling gently as the same smell that lingered on your clothing filled his nostrils - heavy floral notes accompanied by something more savory…sandalwood, maybe? He’d considered asking you what perfume you wore when you were awake, but quickly shook his head to remove the thought. What a weird thing to ask. 

🌹 warnings: alcohol consumption, negative self talk/subconscious insecurity, events occuring whilst asleep (being tucked in, nothing nefarious!), love interests are a lil dumb dumb

🌹 wc: 3.3k

🌹 a/n: because of you guys’ sweet feedback I was hit with sudden motivation to work on this next part. 🥺 I'm not kidding when I say reblogs and comments add fuel to the my creative spark. thank you, as always, for loving my work and supporting it. Feedback and likes and comments just make me so “🥰❤️💕” and I appreciate you all so much. You’re very dear to me. I hope you enjoy this new part, and I eagerly await your responses!

The last time Felix was this nervous was the day he’d told his family he was moving away. 

The familiarity of the bar did little to nothing for the butterflies overtaking his stomach as he skimmed the groups of people for the woman of his dreams. 

He heard her before he saw her, the laugh he was so accustomed to hearing from across the bar cutting through the chatter of the other patrons instantly bringing a smile to his lips. 

That was, until he remembered he actually needed to speak with her. 

The smile was soon replaced with a slight frown, brows pulling together as he debated just walking back out to the truck and calling it a night - he made it this far, that’s good enough. Right? 

He could already picture your disapproving scowl and the shake of your head as you chastised him for giving up so quickly. The thought of disappointing you gave him courage, somehow, as he straightened his back and took a deep breath. 

As luck would have it, there was an empty seat on the barstool directly next to Ryujin. Luckier yet, she didn’t seem bothered by Felix’s taking it - he honestly wasn’t even sure if she’d noticed his presence. 

She held her hand up and caught the attention of the barkeep on duty, politely requesting a refill of her drink. Within a few minutes, a new glass of the yellow-pink ombré was set on a fresh coaster in front of her. 

“Maui Sunset?” Felix asked, using his knowledge of drinks to his advantage in an attempt to jump start conversation. 

She turned to him with wide eyes, smiling politely before nodding. Felix returned the gesture, gulping hard as though to keep the aforementioned butterflies from escaping through his lips before raising a hand himself - ordering the same. 

She cocked her head at this, watching as the bartender set an identical beverage in front of Felix. He took a sip, glancing towards her out of the corner of his eye before chuckling. 

“What? Is it really so strange?” 

“I mean, no, I—“ she cut herself off, sipping at her own beverage before continuing, “I’m just not used to seeing a man so unconcerned with ordering a —“ she stopped suddenly again, flushing slightly as she looked down. 

“Girly drink?” Felix offered, smirking innocently at her nervous expression. She nodded again, giving an apologetic upturn of her lips as he kept speaking, “I used to be self-conscious, y’know.” 

“Oh?” She questioned, turning her body towards him as she grew more interested in the man she hadn’t bothered to remember the name of before. 

“Mhm,” he continued after another sip, “My friends would tease me - still do, actually!” 

“Doesn’t it bother you?” she asked, tilting her head to the side after mimicking his action. 

“Used to,” he admitted sheepishly, stirring his drink with the black plastic stir-stick, blending the hues into a vibrant orange.

“What changed?” she was hooked now, leaning forward into her hand - elbow on the counter - as she hung on every word. 

“I figured that it’s not my problem that they’ve got some weird vendetta against sweet things,” he said with a shrug, feigning indifference despite the way his heart raced at her newfound proximity, “Not my fault that I like myself enough not to pretend to like the other things.” 

Ryujin threw her head back and laughed, “I actually feel the same!” Her face still held the mirth of her outburst, in the form of a grin, as she explained, “My friends will always order shots when they wanna celebrate, but I hate the way tequila tastes. They tease me for opting out,” she took another drink, watching Felix carefully as he took in each word, “But I’d rather spend my money and time with something I enjoy.”

Felix’s heart lurched in his chest as she smiled at him, hope filling the deepest crevices of his mind as he finished off his drink, “I’m really glad you agree. You seem really nice,” he admitted, anxious enough that he may as well have confessed. 

“So do you,” she agreed, still giving him a sweet smile. 

“I hate to cut this short, but I only had time for one drink before heading out,” Felix spoke genuinely, feeling guilty for having such a joyful moment while you waited alone in the car. 

“Aw, really?” Ryujin pouted, lower lip jutting out sending a jolt straight into Felix’s heart, “I was hoping to talk more! You’re different, I think.” 

“If you’d like - it’s fine if not -“ he inserted the second bit as an assurance, doing his best to come off as the sweet man he truly was, “ - I could give you my number?” 

Ryujin nodded quickly, pulling out her phone and handing it to Felix - who did an excellent job at containing the giant smile he could feel twitching at the corners of his lips as he handed it back to her. 

“Felix, huh?” she murmured, meeting his eyes once more as she gave him a final smile, “I’m Ryujin.” 

Felix, of course, knew this. But he grinned brightly in response, giving a sweet, “Pleasure to meet you,” before walking towards the exit - allowing his excitement to show the second the door closed behind him. 

You’d just begun to consider catching a nap when a bouncing head of blonde illuminated under the neon caught your attention. Judging by the smile on the attached face, you found it easy to assume that it went well. 

As Felix climbed into the driver’s seat of the truck, the expectant glimmer in his eyes made you ask him anyways. 

“So, how was it?”

As soon as you’d asked, he lit up. Nearly wiggling in his seat as he spoke, he reminded you of an excited schoolgirl being asked to the prom. 

He explained from start to finish, including how nervous he was to approach at all. When he told you about relating to her by choice of drink, you couldn’t help the swell of pride in your chest. He’d found his opening, without you guiding him. 

“She seemed to really want me to stick around, y/n!” he beamed. 

“You should offer classes, your advice really works!” he gushed.

“The execution was just as important, Felix,” you deadpanned, “I may be an okay teacher, but you’re a star pupil!” 

“Really?” His eyes were on the road, but sparkling nonetheless as he received your praise. 

“Really,” you affirmed, unable to contain your own grin at the sight of his contagious smile. 

“I was so nervous,” he admitted, chewing on his lower lip, “I still kind of am. What if she doesn’t get back to me? And then she sees that I’m a bartender and feels awkward? And then she’ll think I’m a creep and then —“ 

“Felix,” you interrupted, cocking a brow as he simply continued, drumming his fingers anxiously on the center console. 

“She’s gonna avoid the bar at all costs and, oh god, what if I messed up and ruined my chances? I knew I should’ve had you come in with me —“ the speed of his fingertips accelerated as he spiraled into his own doubt - though you could’ve felt annoyed, you instead found yourself wishing you could pull him from his mind. 

“Felix!” 

“I always end up having done something irritating when I think everything’s fine, she probably thinks I’m just weird and annoying and—“

“Lixie…” you placed your hand on top of his, ceasing the soft thumps alongside his ramblings. He gave a sideways glance towards you, panic evident despite the brevity of the eye contact, “You did just fine. You’re fine. Breathe.”

And he did. As felt his hand relax beneath yours, you gave it a reassuring squeeze. His long exhale did wonders for the worry you had for him. 

It was difficult for you, seeing him upset. Unnatural, really, to watch someone so full of sunshine and love be shrouded in stormclouds. 

Now content that he wouldn’t continue his self-depreciating tangent, you pulled your hand back - suddenly self-conscious at how easily it came for you to offer him such an intimate comfort after such a short time. 

He was just so comfortable and easygoing, it came so naturally to ground him into reality however you could. Still, though, the awkwardness you helped Felix get away from seemed to take residence in your own mind. 

“I’m sorry—“ you’d started, ready to try to explain why you’d even consider doing what you had. 

“Thank you—“ he said at the same time, genuine gratitude thickening his tone with emotion. 

“Thank you?” you peered at his profile, watching as the streetlights briefly illuminated his features before he faded back into the dark. 

“Well, yeah,” he spoke as though it should be the most obvious reaction, “Sometimes my mind gets away from me, y’know?” 

You hummed, understanding completely how it felt to be aware of your own contributions to your fears but completely helpless to stop it. You couldn’t bring yourself to speak again, still feeling uncomfortable with yourself despite his thanks. 

The cab of the truck was peaceful, quiet but not disconcertingly so, with tire treads against concrete providing a stable white-noise that encouraged the wandering of your mind. Felix had said it was fine, even having seemed to be thankful for your affectionate touch, so why did your cheeks stay flushed with embarrassment? You huffed quietly, both irritated and resigned, before pressing the side of your head against the cool window in an attempt to fight off the lingering warmth in your cheeks. 

Felix flicked on the radio, singing along softly - and an octave deeper - to the pop song that played, seemingly content to settle into the wordless drive with you. It didn’t feel unpleasant to share the quiet - rather than discomfort, the silence itself was tranquil. You quickly found your eyelids drooping as you listened to Felix’s voice, fighting with every fiber of your being to stay awake. 

The warm glow of streetlights passing you by grew fuzzier, Felix's voice further away, and the flush of your cheeks all but disappeared as sleep crept it's way into your bones.

Jisung’s familiar grin brought a matching one to Felix’s features as the former exited your apartment building, spotting the truck easily and making a beeline towards it. Felix had noticed your lack of consciousness as he parked, the peaceful look on your face making him immediately feel guilty at the thought of rousing you from sleep. 

He wasn’t sure that he’d ever seen you look so completely unbothered, each worry line of your face ceasing to exist while you slept. Your lips were slightly parted, typical frown nowhere to be seen as your steady, rhythmic breathing became audible only at the cut of the truck’s engine. He’d reached out to touch your shoulder, hoping to wake you but stopping short at the soft sigh of content you produced whilst curling further into yourself.

He absolutely could not be the one to interrupt that. 

He’d shot a quick text to Jisung, having gotten his number from you after being too nervous to ask following the near-brawl of their meeting, snapping a photo of your sleeping frame to send along with a straightforward, ‘help.’

Luckily, Jisung had been waiting at the apartment for your return. He’d laughed upon seeing the text, staring at the photo of your sleeping face with a mixture of affection and humor. He supposed he should’ve warned Felix about the effect car-rides seemed to have on you - but, then again, he wouldn’t have this absolute gold-mine of teasing material now if he had. 

Felix got out of the driver’s seat and met with him outside of your door, catching a glimpse of your peaceful face through the slightly-fogged glass bringing a sweet look into his eyes. He’d grown quite fond of you in your short time together. He’d almost begun to feel a sense of responsibility for you; for your safety, for your happiness - for you, in general. 

Jisung greeted him warmly, giving one of those hugs that men seemed to think was somehow more macho than just embracing the other - with hands clasped in a prolonged high-five between them and a chaste pat on the back before releasing contact. 

“She’s really out, huh?” he chuckled, peering past Felix to your sleeping face.

“Yeah,” Felix agreed, turning to look towards you as well, “I swear, she was awake one second –”

“And completely zonked the next?” Jisung laughed, reaching for the door. As he pulled it open, your body slumped towards the now-open space you’d once been resting your weight against.

“Shit!” Felix hissed, lurching forward as he watched gravity betray your body in slow-motion. The image his mind conjured of you colliding with the concrete made his chest ache, the mere concept of harm befalling you making him feel as though he could burst into tears.

Without taking the time to think, Felix ducked down, opening the arm closest to you as panic brought a bile to his throat. The fear kept his heart racing, even as your cheek made contact with his shoulder, though his sigh of relief would keep anyone from knowing. He stood slowly, raising you from what had to be an uncomfortable angle to your previously assumed position - save for your head, which now rested in the crook of his neck rather than against the window of his truck - and shot Jisung a half-serious glare. 

“Fuck, that was stupid, huh?” he asked, a nervous laugh covering the actual shame he felt for almost busting your face. Felix didn’t justify that with a response, knowing - or, at least, hoping - that Han wouldn’t have purposefully done something to hurt you. That didn’t stop him from feeling just a tinge of anger towards him, though.

“No harm done,” Felix whispered, giving him a nod before turning back to your frame. The blonde was much stronger than he looked, linking his free arm under your leg to pull you completely from the cab. You stirred slightly, murmuring something completely unintelligible in a breathy, sleep filled tone as Felix kicked the door shut behind him. 

“You got her?” Han asked, obviously surprised by the strength of the man before him. Felix gave him a nod before jerking his chin towards the door to the complex.

“Mhm, can you get the door?” Felix had wanted to say something snide, commenting on the irony of his concern after nearly introducing you to the pavement. Han gave a thumbs up before jogging back to the door - Felix in tow with you cradled in his arms, passing by him through the newly opened door. 

Han squeezed past the two of you in the narrow entryway, climbing the steps with the occasional glance back to ensure Felix wasn’t experiencing a struggle with your dead-weighted sleeping figure. To his surprise, Felix seemed completely unbothered, climbing the steps with the speed of someone unencumbered by another person’s body. 

They made it to your door in silence, save for your occasional nonsensical mumble. Han held the door open wide, stepping aside to allow Felix as much ease as possible to get you inside. The latter held your head closer, exercising extreme caution so as not to wake you up with a doorframe to the skull, side-stepping into the apartment with Han close behind. 

“Where’s her room?” he aired his question with his hand still gently supporting the back of your head, looking up towards Han to notice which direction he pointed in, “Thanks.” 

He walked towards the open door of your room, smiling gently as the same smell that lingered on your clothing filled his nostrils - heavy floral notes accompanied by something more savory…sandalwood, maybe? He’d considered asking you what perfume you wore when you were awake, but quickly shook his head to remove the thought. What a weird thing to ask. 

Your bed being unmade was a stroke of luck, giving Felix a much easier future of getting you tucked under the covers. He approached the side of the mattress, placing your legs down first before leaning down with you to prevent any sudden jolt pulling you from dreamland. With painstakingly careful movements, he slid his hand out from under your hair and went to pull away. 

He was nearly completely removed from you when your fist clenched around the collar of his shirt, tightening with a desperation he hadn’t once seen from you. He turned to look at your face, wondering if you’d woken up and were upset that he’d entered your room without asking, only for you to still be unconscious. The furrow between your brows had returned, though - and your lips had pulled downwards into a frown, lower lip trembling slightly. 

“What did I do..?” you mumbled, sleepiness weighing down what otherwise would’ve been a heart-wrenching whine. Felix tilted his head as he knelt at the edge of your bed, cautiously lifting a hand to brush a few strands of hair from your face. His mind raced as he wondered what was plaguing your dreams, chest aching as he realized that your peaceful rest was being plagued by worry. 

“What?” he asked softly, just in case you were conscious enough to need a reply, “What could you have done wrong?” his words came out sweeter than candy, his eyes never once leaving your face - searching for any inkling of consciousness. 

“I tried…” you whispered, head lolling to the side, “Tried my best…”

“I’m sure you did…” he assured, confusion evident in the upwards lilt of his voice. He moved his hand back from your face as he leaned down to pull off your shoes, only to be stopped by the grip you still held on his shirt. 

“Sorry…not enough…I can be more…” these phrases trailed off into silence, leaving more questions than answers in their wake as your grip relaxed on his collar, leading him to hope the worst was over. He felt his heart break a little at the sight of your mournful expression, breaths coming quicker as your head thrashed in the opposite direction. 

“You’re more than enough, y/n,” his voice was thick as he fought tears of his own, wondering who or what had ever made you feel the need to apologize for feeling less than what you were, “I promise.” 

He moved away for a moment to finally remove your shoes, setting them on the floor next to the bed before pulling the comforter over your shoulders. He placed his hand on your covered back and, feeling your muscles relax under the well-intentioned touch, began to rub small circles between your shoulderblades. Your breathing slowed, the affectionate motion driving away the negative thoughts your subconscious had dragged into your dreams, bringing Felix a wave of relief. 

As soon as he was content that you were no longer in distress, his hand fell back to his side. He stood, grabbing your shoes to place by the entrance as he made his way to the hallway - pausing in the doorframe to send you one last glassy-eyed glance. 

“You really are, y’know,” he spoke softly, watching the rise and fall of your breathing from beneath the blankets, “More than enough.”

With that, he pulled your door shut behind him and said his goodbyes to Jisung. It wasn’t until he was back in his truck that he allowed his emotions to swell. A single tear fell from his eye as he recalled the pain in your eyes whilst you apologized to an unseen force. 

That moment fully cemented his already firm intentions; however it had gone from a bet to a personal mission.

Love wasn’t dead, despite whatever had happened that made you believe so.

Love wasn’t dead, despite the anguish in your unconscious ramblings.

Love wasn’t dead, and he desperately - for your sake now, rather than his own - needed to prove you wrong.