HEALS AND HEART STRINGS !

❝ HEALS AND HEART STRINGS ! ❞

୧ ׅ𖥔 ۫SYNOPSIS : one of your clients starts slowly catching feelings for you, a stripper that always leaves them pleased.

୧ ׅ𖥔 ۫CONTEXT AND WC: (3k+) stripper au!, client toji, slight delulu toji, manhandling, brat taming, bondage, doggy style,dirty talk, slight angst??

you knew toji was a regular for private shows, he was quite wealthy and could afford them, and always paid in cash. on top of that, he always tipped generously. however, you didn't expect him to be the client today— you were just trying to put in your work like usual.

nonetherless, you continued the routine as the music began. slowly, his gaze never strayed, and he even tipped an extra stack on the table by the couch. you kept your composure, not letting the stares bother you, only focusing on the dance.

you felt the men in that room ogling and leering at you, all with their nasty stares while you felt toji gaze upon your dancing form. you knew he was watching you so why not give him more than a regular client he'd paid more after your shows anyways might as well make the best of it.

you’re a stripper after all, why not give them a good show?

toji was now salivating at the view, you could tell by the way his eyes were glued to your body. his hand reached for another stack of cash, and he began tossing bills onto the couch as he watched. each time you passed him, he would whistle or call out your name, getting your attention. you felt your confidence growing with the way he was looking at you.

your eyes never left him either, though you usually never stared back. this night however, the way he made you feel with his gaze sparked a butterfly feeling in your stomach, one that you didn't understand and that made you feel...strange. you felt him studying you, his eyes scanning over your entire body, and every move you make, those eyes following you. that made you want to flaunt more, to show off and show him that you are the sexiest thing in the room.

whilst, you danced around the pole, you couldn’t help but feel the eyes of others upon you. the impression in the club was full of cheers and wolf whistles, you even saw a few men who had their eyes glued on you and couldn’t help but admire your performance.

his breath hitches at the memory of that night. his hands are gripping her hips tightly, almost firmly , and he can’t help but let out a small, rough grunt into her shoulder as she’s straddling his thighs. just that quick movement was enough to make his whole body heat up.

toji’s breath is slow and steady, but his heartbeat is rapidly increasing from the touch of her. her perfume is so sweet, and he wants to get even closer to her to inhale all of it in. that is exactly the memory he recalls. it was rather a simple enough routine with a clients you’d say.

truly on the verge of his own fantasm.

you were a pro at this— you knew which moves would get people to look at you, especially toji. your performance began to heat up as you slid down the pole, allowing yourself to slowly gyrate your hips in the way that would catch people's attention. your gaze wandered over to toji as you noticed he was enjoying the show, and your movements became even more seductive.

you wonder if toji really took a liking to you all along or if he was just playing you. you know he had a big ego and you always thought that he liked you for your looks, but you never considered that he might’ve wanted something more. could his ego really be hiding emotions? you shake your head and try to push the thoughts away from your mind, but they kept creeping back in.

but something that he always did make you raise an eyebrow, paying for an unexpected gifts or even tipping you more that what he’d usually gave you , even when it was just a hookup.

toji might have been a little whimsical with his feedings towards you, but you couldn’t deny that he did always take good care of you. even if he was paying for meals that was just supposed to be a hookup, he didn’t treat it like one.

regardless, it was definitely weird how toji started caring more than just the hookups. he started to take you out on dates and take care of you and paid for basically all your food as if he was your boyfriend. which was totally unexpected coming from him, only meeting through simple hookups that’s it.

you remember when you asked him about it and he said that he just wanted to show his appreciation towards you. but you knew that was bullshit, how could he be thanking you for just simply hooking up with him?

promptly your soft, pretty nails trailing gently along his broad shoulders leaving scratches squeezing it softly as he gives off a subtle grunt, at the touch of your soft hands on his body. toji nearly chokes on the watered down whiskey a sudden sense of warmth enveloped him as he glanced briefly down at your pretty hands touched him in the right places that made his heart thump in his chest.

“didn’t expect seeing you here. . . toji. it’s the fourth time this month..”

as she teases , her cheeky nature crept out again as she playfully jabbed at his side and rested her chin on her palm, shooting him a sexy look as she tried to tempt him. he couldn't help but chuckle a little bit as you tried to swoon him over.

toji chuckled, giving a smirk back as he looked back at her. "what can i say? you've got me hooked." toji beams, shifted his weight forward towards you as the bench let out a small creak under the pressure of his weight as he leaned over more towards you. he scoffed as he set down his nearly empty glass of alcohol, the liquid completely drowned down to water at this point.

“hmm, let’s go somewhere more private shall we..?”

“yeah.”

there was no need for words as he was quickly escorted to the comfortable and dimly lit room where a plush couch waited for the two of them. the velvet couch would be comfortable enough as he was seated down with you now straddling his lap.

toji watches her sway her hips, his eyes glued to her as she tugged on his short black hair. he could feel his sheen lips parting slight as she traced her thumb along the bottom lip, the subtle scent of liquor and musk filled your nostrils. “such . . . a fuckin’ tease aren’t ya?”

he huffed out laid back on the couch in a manspread posture, black khakis threatening to bust at the seams merely hanging on my a thread. the evident bulge pressing underneath you barely even touched him yet here he was nearly cumming in his pants just from a few kisses down the nap of his neck steadying rocking your hips back and forth warm breath fanning over his earlobe. “it’s apart . . of my job after all toji.”

“hm... such a big guy and all it takes is a few kisses and a few touches to send you over the edge?” further more, you smirked you could see his facial expression change, his green irises widening the thin brows knitting together in a glare, it was truly embarrassing, pitiful even how greatly he feel under your touch. was he really that desperate for you? “fuck girl . . don’t push your limits . . .unless you want to be biting the couch cushions . . tonight . . . .”

that deep crimson blush spreading across his cheeks like wildfire, a couple of grunts slipping past his lips — firmly his hand attached to the crevices of your waist haunting your teasing batter — the control slipping away from his grasp by the minute.

you could tell you had him right where you wanted him, just a few kisses are enough to send him over the edge. there was something so satisfying about having that much power over someone, like toji to fold this easily really.

his firm grasp reanimating on your hips a bit snugger this time, before you knew it, your was face smushed downwards against the slick pillows catching you off guard slightly — a small yelp escaping your lips only glaring back at him, you didn’t expect the tables to turn on you in a mere matter of seconds. “ heh, funny how the tables turned yeah?”

“toji holdon—“

your back perfectly arching over the armrest, toji crotches behind you swiftly on his knees — his green irises piercings a hole in the back of your head — interrupting you abruptly. toji lips tug upwards into a cruel grin, his calloused hands firmly grasping your waist. the warmth of his hands resting on your lower back— the cotton blue outlining the bulge, hooking his free hand underneath it’s waist band pooling at his knees.

the couch creaked underneath his shifting weight, you trying to shifting your weight around only pressing against him more for him to at least move or something it was killing you on the inside not that you’d admit it now.

toji’s breath tickles the back of your nape, leaning down and grasping your hands with his free hand pinning them to your lower back — a glare still leering on your face huffing—the contact his sheen lips hovering over the shell your earlobe, tingling underneath his touch trailing wet kisses along your teasingly neck, bunching up the “hmm . . . you should know better than to . . fuckin’ . . tease . me..”

“not my fault . . your easy to rile up.” you huffed out shifting your weight around on the couch pushing yourself into the coushins still merrily teasing him it irked his nerves a little more — toji rolling his eyes grunt escaping deep within his chest hands gripping your lower back, aligning him at your entrance teasing your folds with the tip not fully sinking himself inside just yet— rocking his hips against yours in a steady rhythm.

“shut . up little girl ..”

he taunting you, just like he always does no matter how many times he’s does it — you peer over your shoulder to get a glimpse him, it was a utterly sight his breathtaking muscles tensing underneath the pressure, feeling himself gliding in with practical ease reach deep within reach — your walls desperately clenching down on him, squeezing him tightly.

his pearly white teeth barring in the dim lighting, you could feel his hand inch a tad lower trying not to cum easily— but your walls were sucking his girth in so . . deliciously like a vice, you couldn’t help letting a drastic gasp slip past your lips— a small dab of drool forming the inner corner of your mouth, almost completely in utter bliss. “t-toji. . . c’mon..”

“so fuckin . tight . . “ a few grunts spilling from him—nibbling on the softness of his lip rocking his hips back forth more, the sheer glistening of sweat sticking under the dim light — maintaining eye contact with you the entire time, it wasn’t long before you felt that familiar coil inside of your tummy — your walls squeezing his length one last time it was long before toji could feel himself coming apart balls tightening as he slowly down his pace bottoming out inside—pulling out completely. “shit . . i love you .”

your taken aback at his comment completely chest heaving up down trying to calm your nerves a little bit — slumped against the armrest. he has to be joking about this right? after all it was just a simple hookup like usual but a client confessing their love to was a bit much. “you . . what?

“you heard me, girl . . “ toji repeats his statement abruptly shifting his weight to lean back against the couch, wiping the sweat off his forehead.

“I don’t feeling the same way, after all you’re just a client.”

@screampied @hoshigray @shaguro

WONWOO Spotted: THIS MAN

Miracle Of The Season — J.JK

STORY SUMMARY: Cast out of Heaven after a painful betrayal, you find yourself having to navigate the intricacies of human life without any guidance from the Creator or the family you have always known. Things only get worse as the holiday season reaches its peak, with reminders of the life you left behind everywhere you look. When a familiar face pops up, you aren’t sure whether to consider it a blessing or a curse.

PAIRING: Angel Jungkook x Fallen Angel F!Reader

RATING/GENRE: M ; angst, fluff, smut ; second chance romance, angel AU, soulmate AU

WORD COUNT: 17.2k

WARNINGS: Heavy themes of religious trauma, an initially negative view of Christianity transforming into a more neutral/respectful view of individual faiths, initial dismissal of other religions, difficult self-growth journey, homelessness, very brief mentions of murder and rape

OTHER/NSFW WARNINGS: Sharing one-bed trope (kinda), mistletoe trope (teehee), first time, fingering, cunnilingus, hand job, unprotected sex

A/N: This is a lot. The story definitely got away from me, but I think that's because there was so much I wanted to say. I definitely could have made this longer, and if I had time/wasn't such a slow writer, I probably would have. It's a heavy topic, but it's one that is near and dear to my heart and one that I think a lot of people can relate to. If you do, I hope this story feels a bit healing.

A/N 2: This is based on the vibes of his song "Standing Next To You" and the m/v for it.

LINKS: Part of the Jingle All The Way! collab with my talented, wonderful friends. Cross-posted on AO3 and (eventually) Wattpad. Banner made by the lovely @kithtaehyung.

"—let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!"

You take a deep, calming breath as you pass the carolers. Their cheerful voices grate on your nerves, but you keep your head down and continue walking. Lashing out at them won't do any good, even if it might give you a moment of satisfaction. It's not like they're the source of your irritation anyway; the crowded streets are abuzz with the unrelenting chaos of the Christmas season, and you have been on edge all morning. 

Turning a corner, you enter a street closer to the shelter you have been calling home for the past year and a half. Immediately, some of your tension dissipates, and you feel like you can breathe a bit easier. There are fewer lights here and less noise, but a few decorations still attract your attention, like a moth to a flame. A nativity scene is proudly displayed in someone's window, and you stop dead in your tracks.

"Freedom of religion, my ass," you mutter bitterly as you tear your gaze away. Why does everyone and their mother seem to celebrate this stupid holiday? 

You know that for many, Christmas isn’t necessarily a holy season. Some humans just use the holiday as an excuse to wear obnoxious sweaters, play the same song on repeat, and spoil one another with gifts. Yet reminders of the celestial realm, of the life you have been cast out from, are everywhere. The nativity, for one. Then there are the carolers singing their songs, and the cartoonish cherub decals that can be found on shop windows, holding banners that proclaim, “Buy one, get one 20% off!” Even the name of the holiday is marked by one of His monikers. Christmas. 

It makes you sick. 

The weather doesn't help, either. Drawing your coat more tightly around yourself, you try to ignore the relentless chill that settles deep in your bones. You’re definitely not dressed warmly enough, ill-prepared considering the sensation of being cold is something you’re still getting used to. It is yet another item you have added to your ever-growing list of "whys.” The question of why God created snow joins the ranks of "why did He make spiders?" and "why is He the most selfish being in existence?" 

You sniff. Perhaps you let your emotions get the best of you at times.  

Emotions. Another thing that’s somewhat new. As an angel, you didn’t really have those. The only thing you ever thought about was following orders and how better you could praise His name. Ugh. It’s hard to believe now that you were ever so single-minded. Though, towards the end, you suppose that wasn’t the case. It all went awry when you started this “list” of yours—when you started questioning things. 

The moment that doubt had first crept into your mind seems like a lifetime ago. Reaching the status of archangel was something you had been working toward for millennia. It was a position that allowed you to work more closely with humanity; you were able to actually guide their paths and alter their destiny. 

At first, it was everything you had ever wanted. The miracles that occurred because of your intervention made you feel like you were doing something worthwhile. But you quickly learned that not all of your missions would be quite as fulfilling. 

You will never forget the first time you were put in charge of administering a holy test. The man had done nothing wrong, yet your higher-ups still insisted that he needed to be "tried by fire." The divine reasons were beyond comprehension, or so you were told. But watching the man suffer as everything he loved was taken from him, seeing the desperation and despair in his eyes… It felt wrong. That feeling stayed with you even as you watched the man's faith remain unbroken. Somehow, that made it worse. 

And then there were those who committed sinful acts and escaped punishment. You saw murderers and rapists living their lives in peace while innocent souls suffered unjustly at their hands. The scales of justice seemed unfairly balanced, and you began to feel crushed by the weight of your guilt.

Thus, the degradation process began. For the longest time, you thought it was a myth, a scary story told to keep angels in line. If you doubt, if you disobey, you begin withering away into nothingness. You'll start to feel things, to lose your sense of purpose. It will be painful and overwhelming and, eventually, you'll cease to exist entirely. You were told that if it were to happen, you must report it to a superior at once. But you were terrified. 

There was only one person you trusted enough to share the way you were feeling—your other half, your celestial counterpart. The one who knew you like no other did. Your Astrom, Jungkook. 

There is an old celestial folk tale that documents the first creation of an Astrom pair. It is said God took one star and split it into two. Neither half could live without the other, nor would they want to. It is difficult to describe the way you felt for him, as angels are devoid of personal desires or emotions as humans experience them. It was simply as if being with him was as natural as breathing. He was the only being other than the Creator that you felt beholden to, that you admired. 

When you first revealed your doubts to him, he simply listened, displaying a level of patience that you found comforting. He answered your questions about morality, about justice as best he could, trying to reassure you that everything happened for a reason. Yet no matter how persuasively he argued, your doubts wouldn't go away. 

Eventually, you began to start contemplating letting yourself fall from grace. The thought was terrifying, but at the same time, there was a certain allure to it. To Fall meant to renounce your celestial responsibilities, and that included no longer having to inflict pain on innocent souls. 

When you confessed this dangerous thought to him, Jungkook gave you a look that you couldn't decipher. All you remember is what he said next: "If you Fall, I shall Fall with you."

His words had been unexpected, and you didn’t know whether to take comfort in them or not. You didn’t want him to share your fate, to bear the burden of your guilt. Could you live with yourself if he Fell too? The answer was an obvious no. But the mere thought of being alone in your struggle was something you couldn’t stomach either. So, you attempted to keep your dissent to a minimum and perform your duties as required. But it wasn’t long before everything fell apart regardless.

Eventually, you were discovered and brought before the celestial court. You were accused of blasphemy since questioning Him was an unforgivable sin and sentenced to Fall, to be cast out from the life you have always known. Yet, the real blow came when you found out who had betrayed you. 

Jungkook.

Your Astrom. 

The one you had trusted implicitly, the other half of your celestial star, had betrayed you in the name of divine loyalty. The pain of the Fall, the feeling of your grace ripped from your body, the scorching burn of your wings as they turned to ash—none of this could compete with the raw, gut-wrenching anguish of his betrayal. 

Even now, months later, remembering makes you feel as if you can't breathe, as if you might die. Every memory of him is like a punch to the gut, and the city, so full of noise and life, does nothing to drown out the agony. Some days, the pain is so vivid and unbearable that it feels as though you are Falling all over again.

A rough shove against your shoulder makes you stumble, and the man who ran into you barely grunts out an apology before continuing past. At least the disruption is a timely one, allowing you to pull yourself out of your thoughts before you spiral. There’s no point focusing on the past when there’s nothing you to do to change it, especially not when you have a myriad of new human concerns to deal with.  

Your job hunt was, once again, unsuccessful. You keep telling yourself that it’s because it’s so close to the holidays and you’ll have a better chance once the new year comes. In reality, you’re sure it’s because you have no experience, no schooling, and no useful knowledge.

At least you’re familiar enough with the city now that zoning out didn’t prevent you from getting to your destination. 

Lost Star Shelter.

The place you’ve been calling home. It’s certainly not perfect, but little on Earth ever is. You feel awful stepping past the crowd of people waiting outside its doors, knowing that they, like you, have nowhere else to go. You've been fortunate enough to secure your spot due to your volunteering efforts and the fact that the manager, Naomi, seems to have taken a liking to you. But not everyone is so lucky. 

You step inside, greeted by the familiar smells of disinfectant and something cooking in the kitchen. The place is buzzing with activity as usual—mothers trying to soothe crying children, elderly folks chatting away in groups, and a few lone souls quietly scrawling job applications. 

"Long day?" Naomi catches your gaze from behind the front desk, her warm smile a stark contrast to the weariness etched in the lines of her face. 

"Isn't it always?" You head over and pick up the clipboard she slides toward you, scanning your list of tasks for the day. As expected, it's long hours of mindless labor, but you don't mind. Not only do you need to earn your place here, but volunteering gives you a sense of purpose similar to your previous heavenly duties. And you have the satisfaction of knowing you're actually helping, not harming.

"First on the list," Naomi points to an item at the top of your clipboard, "is the donations room. We just had a big drop-off and could use some extra hands sorting through it all. But grab some dinner before you start, okay?"

You nod, her straightforward nature getting a slight smile out of you. "Yes, ma'am."

You navigate your way towards the crowded dining area, where a line of people has formed, waiting for their turn to get served. The cooks, all volunteers like yourself, are bustling about, serving portions of the day's meal which looks to be a thick stew accompanied by fresh bread. The food is simple but hearty, more than enough to keep you working through the evening. You make a mental note to slip into the kitchen later and thank them for their hard work.

You find an empty seat at one of the long tables that occupy the space, making yourself at home amongst the people who are engrossing themselves in their meals or with idle chatter. You even join in on a conversation with some older women across the table, who are engaged in a spirited debate about soap operas. Your knowledge of pop culture is sparse at best, but they seem delighted to fill you in on the latest drama, their laughter infectious. 

After your meal, you make your way towards the donations room. The sight of piled-up clothes, toys, blankets, and other items is both overwhelming and heartwarming. Naomi wasn't kidding when she said they'd received a large drop-off. It's a daunting task, but you roll up your sleeves and get to work. You start by sorting through the clutter, meticulously separating everything into various categories—men's clothes, women's clothes, children's clothes, etc., and items that need repairs or cleaning. Hours pass by unnoticed, the rhythm of work almost meditative.

Your thoughts inevitably wander back to Jungkook. A pang of longing shoots through you. He was the one who would always be by your side when you had to perform menial tasks like this in the celestial realm. You wonder what he would think of your new life. Does he look down on you from up high with pity or disdain, or does he simply not think of you at all? You aren't sure if you even want to know the answer. 

As time wears on, the room gradually becomes less cluttered and more organized. You're just about to take a break when Naomi appears at the doorway, her aging features softened by the warm glow of the hallway light behind her. She takes in your progress with an approving nod. 

"You've done well," she says, stepping into the room. 

You can't help but feel a sense of pride at her words. "Thank you, Naomi." 

She strolls around the room, her observant gaze sweeping over the sorted piles, her hands touching a few items here and there.

"It's amazing," she finally says, "how much kindness there is out there, even when it seems like everything is falling apart. No matter how rough things get, we can choose to be generous, choose to help others. That's what makes us human."

Her words resonate with you. You’ve seen the worst and best of humanity firsthand; the same species that wages wars also unite in times of crisis, offering support and showing kindness to total strangers. How much is influenced by higher powers and how much is purely human nature, you wouldn't presume to know. Your very existence has blurred the lines between supernatural influence and mortal will. 

"True," you say, looking up at Naomi from where you're still seated on the floor surrounded by donations. "That’s a nice way to look at things."

Naomi's smile broadens at that, and she gives one last cursory glance around the room before saying, "Well, I'll let you get back to work. Don't stay up too late."

"Goodnight, Naomi," you call after her as she steps out into the hallway, half-waving at you as she goes.

A little over an hour later, you step back to admire your work. Each item has been categorized, ready to be cleaned and redistributed. You move on to your next set of responsibilities: cleaning up the common areas and helping close up for the night. 

The smell of cleaning supplies clings to your skin as you make your way back to your sleeping quarters—a small, shared room filled with single beds. Careful not to disturb anyone, you move towards your assigned bed, its familiar creaks and groans echoing softly under your weight as you settle into it. Exhaustion pulls at your muscles, but you need to wash up and change before you sleep. 

You grab your shower caddy, change of clothes, and quietly make your way to the women’s bathroom. The fluorescent white lights flicker to life as you enter, revealing a row of curtained shower cubicles. You choose one at the end and let the water heat up as you undress. The hot water cascades over your tired body, soothing your muscles and washing away the sweat and grime that has built up throughout the day. 

Shower done and teeth brushed, you pull on fresh clothes and make your way back to your bed. As you settle back down under the covers, you notice something strange on your bedsheet. A crisp scorch mark is visible against the fabric, and when you observe it more closely, you're shocked to realize that the shape almost looks like… fingers? Your heart hammers in your chest. 

"Impossible," you whisper to yourself. 

The sight of these burns is not unfamiliar to you; in fact, you have been the cause of such marks before. It is a common occurrence when celestial beings interact with the mortal world—remnants of their powerful energy left behind. But as you stare at them now, a sense of unease creeps over you. Could it be Jungkook? The thought flickers through your mind, but you quickly brush it aside. Why would he make himself known in this way and then vanish without even seeing you? You can't allow yourself to hope. 

Dismissing the thought, you force yourself to rationalize that it must have been an accident. Perhaps someone burned it while it was being ironed. It’s easy enough to convince yourself; after all, it’s only three and a half slender marks—it could be anything. But the unease remains as you lay down on the bed, your mind filled with questions. You eventually succumb to sleep from sheer exhaustion, your dreams filled with memories of Jungkook.

The next day passes in a blur—the usual routine of job applications, food preparation, and cleaning duties. The burn mark on your bedsheet remains a mystery. You track down the volunteer who did the laundry, and she swears she wouldn't be so careless as to burn someone’s belongings. Despite her assurances, it's the only explanation you are willing to believe. You return to your bed to find that the sheet has been replaced with a fresh one, the burn mark gone as if it never existed.

You spot an older man sitting on a bed in the corner; his mouth moves silently, and the rosary beads dangling from his fingers lead you to believe he’s praying. A small, faux Christmas tree, no larger than a water bottle, stands on a box next to him. The sight stirs something with you, an uncomfortable feeling once again settling in your gut. You don’t understand his faith. How can someone continue to pray to a God that has obviously forsaken him?

You wait until the man finishes and safely tucks the rosary beads into his shirt pocket, right above his heart, before you approach.

“Excuse me?”

He looks up at you with a smile, eyes crinkling around the edges. "What can I help you with, dear?" 

"I noticed you praying," you begin tentatively. Despite your personal qualms with religion, you don’t want to seem as if you are disrespecting him or his beliefs. "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how do you keep your faith? Under these circumstances?"

He doesn't seem bothered at all by your blunt question. Instead, he chuckles softly and pats the bed beside him, inviting you to sit down. You hesitate a moment before complying.

"Faith isn't about having all the answers," he starts, his voice a mere whisper in the quiet room. "It isn't about being rewarded for good deeds or punished for bad ones. It's about hope. It's about believing that things will get better."

“Hope? Still? Despite… despite being here? I mean, aren’t you upset with God?” Your voice is barely above a whisper as well, a mixture of curiosity and frustration seeping into your words.

He remains silent for a while, his gaze wandering towards the small Christmas tree on the box beside him. 

"No, I'm not upset with God," he finally replies. "Man is given free will, and it is man who chooses what to do with it. Crisis, poverty… God didn't create these. They're the consequences of human choices." His words are sincere, spoken with a calmness that only comes from years of contemplation. "God doesn't promise us that life will always be easy or free from hardships. But He does promise that He will be there in those times of trouble. You see, faith isn't about expecting God to fix our problems, but about having the strength to face them."

“I envy your strength,” you admit with a hint of admiration in your voice.

“Strength is born from struggle, dear. You’ll find your way soon enough.” 

“I hope you’re right.”

The conversation lingers in your mind long after the man's words have faded into silence. You sit on your bunk, staring at the ceiling, pondering them. His unshakable faith is both alien and inspiring to you. Even when you were an archangel, before any doubts seeped into your mind, your faith was nothing like his. It was a duty, an obligation, a resolute certainty that was less about personal beliefs and more about the world you were born into. 

His mention of hope sticks out to you the most. You look around the room again, taking note of the different symbols of faith scattered across the room—crosses, menorahs, and even a small prayer mat in one corner. Each person in this room believes in something larger than themselves, something that gives them hope. And you? You're not certain what you believe in anymore. But maybe, just maybe, some of your anger has been misplaced. 

As the daylight fades, you find yourself wandering outside, the crisp evening air bringing a kind of comfort you couldn't find inside. You walk aimlessly, your feet following the now-familiar sidewalks. You end up in a park, and you make a seat for yourself on a deserted bench.

Looking up into the sky, now painted with hues of orange and pink, you let yourself miss Heaven for just a minute. To miss Jungkook. Even the Creator. You can never go back to worshipping Him, nor do you want to, but you can't deny the connection that once was. As much as you wish everything never happened, you are grateful for how much you've grown since. 

Suddenly, you’re disoriented by a bright flash of light and a shrill, piercing sound that makes your entire body jolt. You shut your eyes and cover your ears, but it does nothing to dull the pain. It's as if the noise is coming from inside your mind. You half-crawl, half-fall off the bench, curling in on yourself, unable to think anything, do anything, until it finally comes to a stop. 

The world pauses around you; the birds stop chirping, the wind stops blowing, and people are frozen where they walk. A familiar feeling washes over you, and your breath catches in your throat. You can’t bring yourself to open your eyes. Even in this form, even as a human, his presence calls to your very soul. You hadn’t realized how incomplete you felt, how empty you were, without him by your side. He’s your other half, and he always will be. The realization makes you want to cry. You had hoped after the Fall, after you became human, that would cease to be true. You can’t stand the fact that you’re still irrevocably tied to him, even after all that he’s done. As always, fate is cruel.

“Y/N.”

He speaks your name with a quiet reverence as if he can hardly believe you’re there in front of him. The familiar, honeyed tone of his voice reignites your longing for him with full force, but you still stubbornly keep your eyes closed. You can’t look at him. You aren’t strong enough.

“I cannot believe you are alive.”

What?

His statement shocks you enough that your eyes fly open of their own accord, and for the first time in months, you're met with the sight of Jungkook. You're not sure if you perceive him differently now that you are mortal, but he's even more captivating than you remember. 

His dark hair curls softly atop his head and is tousled ever-so-perfectly. His skin is beautifully tanned, and the way his tall figure is silhouetted against the sun makes it seem like he's glowing. His wings are obsidian, gargantuan in size, seemingly consuming the entire park with their reach. He's magnificent, so beautiful it hurts.

But it is his eyes that have you frozen in your spot—those beautiful, brown doe eyes, filled with so much emotion that it takes your breath away. He's not supposed to be able to feel unless… unless he has begun the degradation process, as you had.   

“Y/N,” he repeats, his voice trembling. "I thought you were dead." 

“I don't understand,” you manage to choke out, trying to sound more composed than you feel. You pull yourself to your feet, grimacing at the pain radiating throughout your body. How much of it is physical and how much is emotional, you can't tell. 

He takes a step closer to you, his hands outstretched as if to ensure that you're real, but you recoil instinctively. He flinches at your reaction but still grabs your arms, grip unrelenting even as you attempt to pull away from him. 

“Protective markings have been burned onto your ribs.” Hurt flashes across his features. “Were you hiding from me?”

“What? No.” You manage to break free and back up a few steps, putting some distance between you. You feel exposed and vulnerable under his gaze, remembering how he always seemed to know what you were thinking even before you did. "I didn't even know I had them."

"I need you to explain everything," he demands. 

“You need me to explain?" You scoff and cross your arms over your chest defensively. "What about you?”

“Me?” He tilts his head slightly, his confusion obvious.

“Yes, you!" You take a step closer, anger simmering just beneath the surface. "After all, you’re how I ended up in this situation, right?” 

“What are you talking about?”

"You betrayed me!" you hiss. “I confided in you, and you told me you understood. That you were with me. And then you turned around and proclaimed me a blasphemer!” 

He doesn’t respond right away, and it’s as if you can see the cogs turning in his head as he pieces things together. “Y/N… I would never.” 

His admittance makes you pause. Angels aren’t supposed to lie, though you know not everyone abides by that law. However, Jungkook has always been one of the most dedicated to the commandments. 

“That’s not what Namsu told me.”

“Namsu? The Throne?” 

“Yes, the Throne. The one who exiled me on the orders of up high.”

His eyebrows furrow. “You… were exiled? You did not wither?”

"Wither?" you scoff. "That's a myth, Jungkook. A cover-up to hide the fact that when angels start to stand up for what they think is right, they get cast out. And it's thanks to you that I'm here now."

"I… no." The intensity behind the word takes you aback. "I just wanted to help you; I thought you were sick. I went to one of the Cherubim for guidance—I would have never turned you in for some kind of punishment." 

His words hang in the air, making your heart pound in your chest. He was trying to help you? The thought sends a flurry of conflicting emotions through you. 

"Help me?" You repeat his words, mocking him in your disbelief. "Your way of helping got me exiled! Cast down and made mortal."

"I did not—" He cuts himself off, his gaze dropping to the ground. "I never meant for any of this to happen."

"Yet it did!" you snap, crossing your arms tightly around yourself as if they could somehow shield you from the pain his presence brings. "And now I'm here, and nothing will ever be the same!"

"I am so sorry." His apology is whispered so softly that you almost don't catch it. But you do, and it hits you like a punch in the gut.

Your head feels as if it's about to implode. He didn't purposefully betray you—in fact, he was trying to save you. But even so, his actions have led to your downfall, and now you're stuck here on earth, far from the light of Heaven, vulnerable and mortal, while he remains immortal and untouchable. Perhaps that's the part that hurts the most. The fact that now you are separated not by betrayal but by the very nature of your beings. 

Your voice cracks as tears fill your eyes. "If all this is true, then why wouldn’t you have looked for me?”

“I looked everywhere at first, but I could not sense you anymore.” If it was possible, you think he would be crying too. “Namsu is the one who told me what happened. He said that you… that your doubt consumed you, and you did not survive.”

The information hits you like a ton of bricks. Your knees almost give out for a second time, but Jungkook reaches out and grabs you by the elbows, steadying you. 

"I… I had no idea." A bitter laugh escapes your lips as you look up at him. "You didn't know anything, and I presumed the worst of you." 

His fingers tighten around your arms in a reassuring squeeze. "We can always start over, Y/N." 

"Start over?" you echo, incredulous. "You make it sound so easy."

"And why would it not be? We were not the ones to blame for our separation. Come back with me."

"I'm human now. The only way I can come back is… is if I'm dead."

His grip loosens, his face paling at your words. "I did not mean to suggest… Of course, I do not want you to die," he hastily corrects himself, glancing down at the ground. His wings flutter uneasily behind him, betraying his discomfort. "There must be another way."

"If there was, would it even be safe? I mean, why would Namsu do this?" you ask, staring at him. You're not sure if you're asking him or simply musing aloud. Even so, the question hangs heavily in the silence between you.

Finally, after what seems like an eternity, Jungkook speaks again. His voice is barely above a whisper when he says, "I wish I had the answers you seek, but I don't. All I know is that I will do everything in my power to rectify this situation." He turns away from you, scanning the horizon as if searching for something. "I need to return and confront Namsu. He must account for his actions."

"No, it's too dangerous. What if he forces you to Fall, too? You can't risk it, Jungkook." 

He looks back at you, his expression hardening. "I will not let him get away with this, Y/N," he says resolutely. "Deception is not a virtue of a Throne, especially not in such grave matters."

"And you won't let him, but you need to go about this carefully. Going to him directly won't work—he's too powerful."

Jungkook tilts his head, regarding you skeptically. "It almost sounds as if you are asking me to be deceitful." 

"Not deceitful, just… stealthy?" 

He doesn’t respond immediately, his brow furrowed as he mulls over your words. After a moment, he exhales slowly, pulling back from you to pace the grass in thought. "Stealthy," he repeats slowly, his voice distant. "That would require careful planning. Secret meetings. Misdirection."

"Yes," you agree, watching him closely. "All of that."

He stops suddenly, turning to look at you. "Very well. I will do whatever it takes to get to the bottom of this."

Your chest tightens, and you gnaw at your bottom lip. His resolve both comforts and worries you. You don't want him to risk himself for you, but part of you is happy that he is willing.

"However,” Jungkook breaks your train of thought. "It sounds like I may need to be a little bit more human to pull this off. After all, none of this comes easily to angels, but mortals lie all the time."

You raise an eyebrow. "And how are you going to achieve that?"

"You will have to teach me, of course." He says this as if doing so will be the easiest thing in the world. “The degradation process has already started for me, as I am sure you are aware. It should be easy.”

"You're serious?" 

Jungkook had always been so straight-laced, the epitome of angelic perfection. The idea of him playing at being human is almost laughable.

"Completely," he responds, his intense gaze never wavering. "I am willing to do whatever it takes to bring Namsu to justice and try to fix this. Fix us. If that requires adopting some mortal habits, then so be it."

"Alright," you finally concede, shaking your head in amusement. "Time for a crash course in 'how to be a human' 101."

He smiles faintly at that, the corners of his mouth tipping upwards just so. It's a small thing, barely noticeable amidst the tension still hanging heavily in the air between you two, but it's enough. Enough to remind you that the way you felt about him in Heaven, despite not being able to feel, was some kind of love. You don't know where that leaves you now or what you're going to do about it, but procrastination is another human skill you have come to love. Maybe you'll teach him that eventually.

"Lesson one," you start, pointing a finger at him in mock sternness. "Humans don't always speak so formally or in such grandiose phrases. ‘I am going to bring Namsu to justice' sounds archaic or like something a two-bit superhero would say."

His lips quirk upward into a more genuine smile this time. "I see," he replies, his voice deliberately casual. "So how would a human say it?"

"Well, for starters, you could use slang," you suggest. 

Jungkook’s brows furrow, an almost comical look of concentration on his face. “Slang,” he repeats, testing the word on his tongue.

“Yes, slang. Humans don’t always pronounce every single word, and they often come up with new, shorter words to replace certain phrases. You could say something like, 'Namsu’s gonna get what he deserves.'”

He nods, repeating your words slowly. “Namsu... is going to get what he deserves.”

You burst out laughing at his attempt. The prim, stoic angel fumbling his way through human speech? It is truly a sight to behold. 

"Laughing at my expense?" He feigns hurt, but there's a playful twinkle in his eyes that gives him away. "I guess that's lesson two then: humans are full of mirth and mockery."

"You're catching on quickly," you reply, still giggling slightly. “And yes, we like to laugh.”

He observes you a moment longer before finally allowing a soft chuckle to escape his lips. It's a deep, rich sound, but it feels tentative like he's not quite sure if he's doing it right.

“Laughing…" he murmurs, puzzling over the concept. “Such a peculiar expression of joy. But I like it." 

"As you should," you reply, a grin still playing across your face. "It's one of the best parts about being human."

Jungkook studies you for a moment, a smile tugging at his lips. "It suits you."

"Hm? What does?"

"Being human."

"I’m not sure whether to take that as a compliment or an insult.” 

"There is a certain spontaneity in humans. A vibrancy that angels lack." Jungkook’s gaze intensifies, his voice lowering to almost a whisper as he steps closer. "It makes you shine more brightly. Like the sun."

He's so close to you now that you can make out the subtle flecks of gold in his eyes. Your heart pounds in your chest as his words wash over you, warming you from the inside out. 

"That—" You clear your throat, trying to steady your shaking voice. "That sounds like a compliment."

"It is," he confirms, his gaze flickering down to your lips for a brief second before rising back to meet your eyes. "But it is also an observation. A fact."

You want to kiss him. The thought shocks you—you've never kissed someone before, let alone wanted to. It must be a human impulse. You can't help but imagine what it might feel like, the warmth of his lips against yours, his skin beneath your fingertips. You want to feel his hand on your cheek, his fingers tangling in your hair. But the danger of your respective positions impedes that thought, and you push it down. He's an angel. You're not. Him being your Astrom, the connection you had before your Fall, none of it matters now.

"Okay," you manage to squeak out, trying to ignore the electricity that seems to be sparking between your too-close bodies. "Human lesson number three: we're big on personal space."

"Oh?" Jungkook raises an eyebrow but doesn't step away. "Is this too close?"

You swallow hard. "A bit."

You swear you see a hint of mischievousness cross his features before he complies, stepping back just enough to leave a sliver of space between you. "Better?" 

"Now you're just teasing me," you retort, though there's a soft smile playing on your lips.

"Is that frowned upon?" 

"No," you admit. "In fact, it's quite human of you. Now, it’s time for a real challenge." He looks at you quizzically. "We have to convince Naomi to let you stay at the shelter." 

"Ah," he nods, understanding dawning on him. "I see. Another part of being human—negotiation."

"Exactly."

"Then lead the way." With a snap of his fingers, time resumes for the two of you and his wings have disappeared, making him appear fully human, and you head back to Lost Star.

"Naomi, please," you beg, giving your boss the best puppy eyes you can muster. "He needs a place to stay." 

Naomi crosses her arms over her chest and drags her gaze over Jungkook in a way that suggests she's scrutinizing every cell of his being, from the top of his head down to the tips of his toes. "There's no extra beds, hun. I'm sorry, there's nothing I can do." 

"Then he can stay with me!"

"You and him, sharing that tiny little twin bed?" She scoffs. "I'd like to see you try."

"We'll make it work!"

"It's still against the rules. One body to one bed." 

"I know it's not ideal, but just for a few days until we figure out something else," you urge her. "I wouldn't be asking you this if it wasn't important." 

Jungkook steps forward, interjecting smoothly, "I will respect the rules, and if you feel my presence is harmful or disruptive in any way, I will leave immediately." 

Naomi looks between you and Jungkook, and then she sighs, throwing her hands up in defeat. 

"Fine, but only for a little while. And you can't sleep in the main room. Take my office—the couch is a pull-out."

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" You pull her into a hug that she returns with a loving exasperation. 

"If there's even a whiff of trouble, both of you are gone, understand?" 

"Yes, ma'am! I wouldn't expect anything less." 

You grab Jungkook’s hand, dragging him along behind you as you lead him through the shelter. You pass through some of the busier living areas, and it's as if everyone can’t help but stare at him. You can only assume that, despite his wings being hidden, he still emits some sort of otherworldly aura that draws people in. Plus, by human standards, you suppose he's quite attractive. 

Jungkook seems unbothered by the attention, too focused on his surroundings and curiously taking in every detail.

"All these people live here?" he asks, incredulous. "This place is quite small." 

"Shh! Lesson four: lower your voice when you're talking about other people. The last thing we need is for someone to overhear and think you're judging them." 

"Apologies," Jungkook replies, his voice dropping to a whisper. "But my previous comment was not meant to be judgmental. I’m just… surprised. I thought humans usually lived in family units, but everyone here doesn't seem to be related." 

I’m. Doesn’t. He’s already using contractions—you must either be a good teacher or he’s a quick learner.

"You're right," you agree, and as you glance around, your heart aches a little. "Not everyone is fortunate enough to have that. This place is for those who have lost their families or homes." 

"Lost their homes? Like in a fire?" 

"Sometimes. Or maybe they didn't have enough money to pay their taxes." 

"I don't understand. Are there not enough homes for everyone? Why do you need to pay for such a basic need?"

You pause, the innocence of his question hitting you surprisingly hard. Of course he wouldn't understand the complexities of human society, of money and social class, of poverty and wealth disparity. You didn't either; at least, not until you Fell and were forced to figure it out. 

"That is a complicated issue," you admit, running a hand through your hair. "And not all humans agree on how to solve it. Some people think everyone should have a home, regardless of whether or not they can pay for it. Others think that if you can't afford it, you don't deserve one."

He looks so confused that you would be tempted to laugh if the tone of the conversation wasn't so serious. "That doesn't seem fair. In heaven, everyone has a place."

"Yes, well, Earth isn't heaven." There's a bitterness to your words that you hadn't intended. "And why our Creator chooses to leave things like this is a mystery to me. I mean, why not use some of His power to help?"

"The ways of the Almighty are impossible for us to understand," Jungkook quietly replies. "And it's not for us to question."

You snort in response, crossing your arms over your chest. "Well, aren't you a dutiful little angel?" 

Jungkook frowns, clearly not understanding your sarcasm. You sigh and shake your head.

"I'm sorry, Jungkook. It's just hard to wrap my head around sometimes. It's why my so-called degradation process started in the first place. Look at them—" You gesture to the people huddled together around the small television in the corner of the room, others sharing a meal or helping to care for the younger children. "They're good people. Why do they deserve to suffer?" 

Silence lingers between you for a moment. When he responds, he doesn’t answer your question. “Their heavenly rewards shall be plentiful as long as they keep to their faith.” 

“Does that make all of this okay?" You scoff. "Why are they being tested like this? In fact, why do they even need to believe at all to be given a home in the celestial realm? If a person is good-hearted, why isn’t that enough?”

Jungkook looks away from you. "I don't like these questions."

“You don’t like them? Or you don’t like how uncomfortable they make you feel?” 

Before he can even bother replying, you let go of his hand and open the door to Naomi's office, hurrying inside, eager to get some space. It's small and cramped, filled with stacks of paper, an old wooden desk strewn with an old computer and various office supplies, and a well-worn couch wedged against the wall.

"It's not much," you say. "But it's home for now, I guess."

"Home," Jungkook repeats softly, eyes scanning the room. He zeroes in the billboard behind Naomi's desk, filled with photos of smiling people, letters from those that she has helped. A smile tugs at his lips. "It's nice."

"You say that now. Just wait until you're trying to sleep and a couch spring is digging into your back." 

"I don't actually need to sleep," he reminds you. 

You roll your eyes, crossing your arms over your chest. "Right, I forgot. At least we won't be fighting for the blanket."

"I can pretend to," Jungkook offers, a spark of amusement in his eyes. "The idea of laying next to you is not unwelcome." 

You blush, taken aback. "W-what… you…" You take a deep breath. "No, that won't be necessary. And lesson five: don't flirt with people unless you mean it." 

"What is 'flirt’?”

"Flirting," you explain, trying to keep your blush under control, "is when people say or do things that suggest they're attracted to each other."

"I see." He pauses for just a moment before asking, "And how do I know if I'm attracted to someone?"

You sigh exasperatedly. Who knew teaching an angel to be human could be so tiring? 

"It's… well, it's kind of hard to explain. Especially because, as an angel, you don't really feel, at least not until the degradation process is nearing its end. But basically, it's like you have an inexplicable urge to be around this person a lot. You think about them often, their happiness makes you happy, and you want to be closer to them, maybe even touch them or hold them. Some people also might feel their heart beat faster, or a fluttering in their stomach." 

As you speak, Jungkook’s eyes never leave yours. They gleam with curiosity and understanding, drinking in every word you say. He seems to be processing the concept, and then he suddenly smiles. "So, like how I feel about you." 

Caught off-guard, you blink at him, speechless for a moment. And then the panic seeps in. 

"No, Jungkook, that's not correct," you insist, your words tumbling out in haste and denial. "You can't… we can't… you're an angel. I'm—" Fallen, you want to say. Human, you need to say. But you don't. 

"Why not?" he asks simply, his gaze steady. 

"Because!" You scramble for an explanation, desperate to avoid the truth of your own feelings stirring within you. "Because angels aren't supposed to feel that way."

"But I am no longer a pure angel," Jungkook counters. "The degradation process has begun. We discussed this already."

"But that doesn't matter! The whole reason we are doing this is so you can learn the skills you need to figure out a way to stop Namsu from forcing anyone else to Fall. Once you do, you'll be able to stay in Heaven because withering isn't real." Before he can say anything else, you open the door. "I'm gonna grab my stuff from my bed. I'll… I'll be back in a second." 

You slam the door behind you, leaving Jungkook alone in the room. It's a struggle to keep your composure as you head towards your bed. All you can think of is his words, the nonchalance with which he said them. You can feel your traitorous heart yearning for him, but you can't let it sway you. Whether it was an accident or not, his betrayal led to your Fall. Led to you being human. And he's an angel. No matter what you feel or what he thinks he feels, nothing can happen between you now. 

As you gather your meager belongings, the man you spoke with earlier approaches you with a sympathetic expression. "You alright, dear? You didn't get evicted, did you? I'll give Naomi a piece of mind if that's the case." 

"No, no," you quickly reassure him with a forced smile. "My… my friend needs a place to stay for awhile, and there's a one body to one bed policy. Naomi was kind enough to let us use the couch in her office for a few days until we figure something else out."

"Your friend, hm?" His eyes twinkle mischievously. "That fellow you walked in with? Can't say I blame you. He's quite a looker."

"It's not like that," you blush, hurriedly stuffing the rest of your belongings into your bag. "Anyway, don't worry. You'll still see me around." 

The man grins and gives you a friendly pat on the shoulder. "I'm glad to hear it. This place would be much drearier without you."

You bid him goodbye with a wave and make your way back to Naomi's office, feeling like you're walking towards the edge of a cliff. As you open the door, you find Jungkook staring out the window. The streetlight spills in through the gap in the curtains, bathing him in a soft glow. He turns as you enter. 

"Gathered your belongings?" he asks, his voice calm as if the previous conversation never happened. For a moment, you feel robbed—does he not understand the gravity of what he said? But you suppose it's better this way. Easier, at least. 

"Yes," you respond, a bit more brusquely than intended, setting your bag down on the floor. He's still staring at you, and you flush under his gaze. "I'm just going to set up the couch. And stop staring at me so intently. Humans get nervous about stuff like that."

"Another lesson," he remarks. "Understood." Jungkook watches you for a moment longer, then turns back to the window without a word. 

You get to work, unfolding the couch and covering it with your bedding. The silence between you is thick; you can feel the tension radiating off of Jungkook despite his apparent calm. Your heart pounds in your ears as you busy yourself with smoothing out some wrinkles in the sheets, a futile distraction. 

With a deep breath, you break the silence. "Alright, I'm done." 

Jungkook turns to look, and his eyes scan the makeshift bed you've prepared. "You've made it look inviting." 

"Should be okay for a few nights," you reply curtly, avoiding his gaze. "I'm, uh, gonna go ready for bed. I know you don't sleep, but feel free to sit at her desk or something. Make yourself comfortable." 

You exit the room and head down the hallway to the bathroom, leaving Jungkook alone with his thoughts. You can’t shake off his confession and your own rush to deny him. The truth of your feelings, or rather the depth of them, is something you aren't ready to face.

After getting ready for bed, you hesitantly return to Naomi's office. The door creaks upon opening, and Jungkook turns from where he's seated at Naomi's desk, looking up at you with his intense gaze.

"Goodnight," you say softly, trying not to let your voice betray how uneasy you feel.

Jungkook nods. "Goodnight," he replies, and his voice is gentle, concerned. You feel a pang of guilt at the distance you've created between the two of you but say nothing more, falling into a fitful sleep.

Sometime during the night, Jungkook figured out how to work Naomi's dinosaur of a computer and discovered the wonderful thing that is the internet. When you wake, he flocks to your side like an excited child, eager to share everything he has learned about humans, their emotions, and their behavior.

"Slow down, Jungkook," you chuckle, holding up a hand to halt his barrage of words. "I can't absorb all of that at once."

"Oh," he says, blinking in surprise. "I forget that human minds process information more slowly. Should I take this as another lesson?"

You shrug, brushing a loose strand of hair behind your ear. "Sure, go for it."

Despite the tension last night and everything unsaid between the two of you, you find yourself falling into an easy rhythm with him. He's eager to learn and keen on understanding humanity—your humanity. Throughout the day, he continues his studies, glued to the computer screen as you complete your daily volunteering. He takes breaks every once in a while to come find you and ask questions.

"I've come across some terms that are perplexing," he says, leaning on the front desk as you catalog some information. "'Memes' and 'emojis' appear prominently in human interactions online, but I don’t really know what they are or how they’re used.”

You answer question after question until you realize you aren’t getting work done, so you have to come up with a plan B. Leading him back to Naomi’s office, you pull up Netflix on the computer. Jungkook watches the screen in fascination as you explain streaming and scroll through all the shows. 

"Let's try Friends," you say, clicking on the thumbnail. 

You leave him to watch as you finish up your tasks for the day, checking occasionally to see that he’s still engrossed in the show. Instead of constantly badgering you with questions, he writes them on a notepad you provided and waits until the end of the day to go over them with you. You answer each one as best you can, completely endeared by him. 

It's during one of the show's more depressing moments that he asks you about lying and betrayal, echoing the heavy undertones from the other day. His question takes you by surprise, his gaze focused intensely on your face as he waits for an answer.

"Lying is a tough one," you say, trying to keep your voice steady. "Sometimes it's out of fear or selfishness. Sometimes people lie because they're trying to protect themselves."

"And betrayal?" Jungkook asks, his voice unnaturally calm.

You sigh, looking down at your hands. "Betrayal… it's when someone breaks your trust. It hurts, Jungkook. It hurts a lot."

He watches you for several long moments before finally speaking again. "I see," he says softly. "And that's what you thought I did to you?"

You swallow hard, feeling the knot in your chest tighten. "Jungkook," you start, but falter, not knowing how to put your feelings into words. 

"I did not mean to betray you," Jungkook continues. "I realize that my actions may have led you to believe that I deceived you, but it was not my intention. I'm sorry."

"I know." You believe him completely, but the wound is still so fresh that you can’t bring yourself to fully trust him again. Not yet. "I know you didn't mean to, but an apology doesn't fix everything. Consider it another lesson—trust, once broken, isn't so easily mended." 

Jungkook plays with the skin around his nails, an anxious habit he seems to be developing the more human-like he becomes. After a moment, he says, "I understand. I will try harder."

"Try harder doing what?" 

"To understand you better. To understand all humans more, their emotions and their beliefs. Maybe understanding what trust really is will teach me how to earn it back and make up for my mistakes." He's so earnest, so genuine, it almost brings tears to your eyes. "I think I want this as much as I want Namsu to answer for his crimes, if not more. And maybe that makes little sense, but maybe… maybe that's quite human of me." 

"And maybe that's progress," you say softly, looking at Jungkook with newfound hope. 

Your new normal is spending your days with your time split between performing your volunteering duties and teaching Jungkook all about human life. 

Christmas is only a week away now, and everyone around you seems to be buzzing with excitement. At this point, even the inside of the shelter has been decorated. The hallways are lined with lights and garlands, and the common areas even have a few trees set up with donated presents underneath. And, as much as you have dreaded the holiday, you can't deny that watching Jungkook experience it for the first time makes you hate it a little less.

Despite the initial stiffness that comes with being an angel unfamiliar with human life, he has quickly adapted to life at the shelter. He's kind and patient, and he’s always eager to help out where he can. The children, in particular, have taken a liking to him. He's become their favorite storyteller and always has the kids hanging onto his every word. 

One afternoon, you find him sitting with them, singing a song in an ancient celestial language. Everyone will assume it’s some gibberish language he’s made up for one of his stories, but it reminds you of home. His voice is beautiful, melodic and soothing, with a honeyed quality to it that would make anyone stop and listen. 

You stand in the doorway and watch, a smile tugging at your lips. He catches your eye and winks, the action so human and unexpected that it startles a laugh out of you. The children turn to see what's so funny, but you just shake your head, telling them to continue listening.

He comes to you when he finishes, smiling brightly. "Did you enjoy the song as well?" 

"I did," you reply truthfully, your heart fluttering at his attention. The feelings you have been trying to resist are becoming increasingly persistent the more time you spend with him. 

"That's good to hear.”

Suddenly, the kids clamor over to you both, giggling and pointing at something above you. You look up, and all the color drains from your face. Mistletoe. Who the hell put it here?

Jungkook looks between you and the mistletoe, obviously confused. “Why are you angry with that plant? It’s quite beautiful.”

“It’s a tradition, of sorts.” You say the word with disdain. “When a couple—not that we are one—walks under the mistletoe, they’re supposed to kiss.”

“Kiss?”

“We don’t have to, it’s stupid—” 

“No, let’s do it. It's a part of the human experience, right? Let's consider it another lesson."

Heat rushes to your face, and you stutter incoherently, looking around the room for a way to escape. But the children are watching expectantly, their eyes wide and eager. You swallow hard, your heart pounding in your chest.

"Alright… close your eyes," you tell him.

He listens obediently, his eyes fluttering closed. You had never noticed just how long and pretty his eyelashes were until now. Bracing yourself, you take a deep breath and lean in, placing a soft kiss on his cheek. When you pull back, you're greeted with a perplexed expression as he opens his eyes.

"That was nice," he says after a brief pause. "But that’s really what a kiss is? In the show, they did it a bit more like—"

He leans in to demonstrate what he means, his lips brushing against yours. It's soft and a bit awkward at first, but he quickly gets the hang of it, pulling you closer. Against your better judgment, you let him, allowing yourself to get lost in the moment. His lips are softer than you would have expected. His fingers lightly squeeze your waist, sending a jolt of electricity through your body, and it's not until you hear some of the children giggling that you are reminded you have an audience.

You quickly pull away, breathless and flushed with embarrassment. Jungkook, however, is grinning from ear to ear. "That," he says. "That is how they did it."  

"Again! Again!" one of the kids shouts, pulling at your arm. 

Jungkook chuckles at his enthusiasm. "I think we should get back to our story," he says, ruffling the boy’s hair lovingly. Then, turning back to you, he murmurs, "Thank you. For the lesson." 

You can barely speak coherently, but you manage to squeak out a small “you’re welcome” before rushing out of the room. How on Earth are you supposed to get your tasks done now? It's impossible to focus, your mind running in circles over his touch, the feel of his lips against yours.

When you return to Naomi’s office later that night, you’re relieved to see that Jungkook isn't there yet. You take a moment to sit on the edge of the bed and process your thoughts, your fingers tracing absentmindedly over your lips. A shiver passes through your body, a heat blooming in the pit of your stomach. You drop your hand, clenching it into a fist to stop the trembling.

"Nervous?" a voice asks, startling you out of your thoughts. Jungkook is standing in the doorway, watching you with an unreadable expression.

"I… no," you say. 

"Don't lie," he chides gently, sitting next to you on the bed. “I can tell when you do that now, you know.” He keeps to a respectful distance, but he turns his gaze to you. “I think I'm starting to really understand this human thing. Emotions and all that.”

"Is that so?" 

"Yes. They can be painful sometimes but also quite beautiful." 

You watch as he turns his gaze back towards the room, and silence stretches between you again. However, it’s different now from how it used to be; it's not awkward or unsettling, but comfortable. His vulnerability makes you want to be honest, to admit to the way you feel.  

Just as you’re about to say something, he continues, "But now it's time for me to learn about something else. I need to start strategizing for the coming confrontation."

"Right, Namsu," you say. You almost forgot about Jungkook’s original intentions. You clap your hands and get up, heading to the computer. "Alright. Let's research."

With Jungkook sufficiently prepared, the time soon comes for him to return to the celestial realm. However, he insists on leaving at night, so he can spend the day with you. He referred to it as "a date," and you practically tripped over your own feet, much to his enjoyment. He has certainly developed a penchant for teasing you.

You decide to take him into the heart of the city, so he can observe people in their natural element. There seem to be even more decorations than you remember, and people are bustling about to finish their last-minute shopping. However, you find yourself handling the chaos a lot better with Jungkook by your side. 

He hasn't let go of your hand since you stepped out of the shelter, his thumb lightly rubbing circles over your knuckles. Every once in a while, he squeezes it lightly, a silent assurance that he’s there. Whether he notices your nerves and is doing it to comfort you or is doing it because he wants to, you're grateful for it.

His doe eyes dart this way and that, eagerly drinking in the scenery. You try to explain what everything is—the office buildings, luxury apartments, and tiny shops buried in alleyways—but he's more interested in the people. It isn't until you stop in front of a Hindu temple that his attention is finally captured by a building. He cocks his head to the side, eyes wide in wonder as he takes in the sight of it. The temple is a beautiful structure, with elaborate carvings and statues lining its walls. 

"What is this place?" he asks, his voice full of awe.

"It's a place of worship for those that practice Hinduism," you explain.

His eyes sparkle with interest as he takes a step closer to the building. "Can we go inside?"

You glance at him, surprised by his request. But something in his earnest gaze breaks down your hesitation. "Sure," you say softly, leading him inside.

The inside of the temple is even more impressive than the outside. There are vibrant murals depicting different gods and an intoxicating scent of incense that fills the air. You gesture to the bell at the entrance. “Would you like to ring it?”

“What’s it for?” he asks, picking it up gently. 

“It’s supposed to be a way to announce your arrival to the deities.” 

Jungkook shakes it, the twinkling of the bell echoing in the large room. “Pretty,” he remarks as he places it back where it belongs.

He then follows your lead as you move towards the main shrine, your heart pounding in your chest as you realize what you're about to do. An angel of the Christian God at the altar of a different one? You're almost afraid you'll be struck down where you stand. 

He takes in the offerings with a small smile. "It's all quite beautiful," he remarks. "It's a shame that their gods aren't real." 

You know Jungkook means no harm and that it is what he has been conditioned to think for thousands of years, but you still bristle at his easy dismissal of their beliefs. “We’re real. Our God is real. Who’s to say the gods of their religion are not?”

"There is one God. That is what we were taught."

"Yes, it is. But we were also led to believe the withering was real. Just because it is said does not mean that it is true.”

Jungkook is silent for a moment, eyes still fixed on the offerings. Then he turns to you. "You truly believe that?" 

"I don't know," you confess, feeling a little exposed. “I don't know what I believe anymore. I'm just… questioning. It's complicated." 

"You have given me a lot to think about," he admits, his tone quiet. “For all I know, you might be right. I shouldn't have dismissed their beliefs so easily. I apologize.”

You stare at him in surprise; you hadn't expected him to back down so easily. "It's okay," you reassure him. "I'd say being open-minded is another lesson, but unfortunately, not all humans are."

You continue to walk around the city, introducing Jungkook to as many things as possible. Everything he does fills you with affection, whether it be him trying hot dogs from a street vendor and declaring them divine, or joining some kids who were playing soccer in a park. At one point, he kicks the ball so hard that it lands in a tree branch, and you can’t help but laugh as he clumsily climbs up to retrieve it.

When night falls, you end up at the pier, watching the shimmering water beneath the stars. Jungkook is oddly quiet, looking out at the horizon with a distant expression. The silence isn't uncomfortable, but it does leave you feeling a little uneasy. You reach for his hand, and he startles slightly before turning to look at you. 

"Penny for your thoughts?" you ask.

He smiles slightly. “I’m guessing that’s some sort of human expression, and you’re not actually going to give me a penny.”

“You would be correct.”

“I’m thinking about a lot of things.” He exhales as if letting out a breath he has been holding. "You, for one. But I'm always thinking of you so that much isn't a surprise." You blush and swat at his arm. "But I’m also thinking about my beliefs."

"What about them?"

He takes a moment to get his thoughts in order, grabbing your hand more tightly as if you're his anchor in a stormy sea. He answers your question with another. "What if everything we have been taught is wrong? I mean, we have never spoken with the Almighty directly. Angels, apostles, they can all take His words and twist them for their own purposes. We've seen it in action with Namsu, and with how the Bible has been changed to promote hatred." 

You're taken aback by his frankness, the depth of his vulnerability. You have no answers for him, but you can relate to him and offer what little understanding you have come to have.

"So maybe it is wrong, and things have gotten taken out of context or changed as the years have gone on. Like you said, we cannot talk to Him, so we can’t ask for the truth. Or, maybe it is all part of a bigger plan, and unwavering faith is the answer.” You pause, steeling your resolve, before continuing, “But it isn’t for me. I can’t live that way. But how you decide to live is your choice. Who you are is your choice. I cannot decide that for you, and neither can He.” 

He frowns. "I don't know how to make that choice. Who even am I? What am I without my purpose? Without Him?"

"Perhaps we're not defined by a single purpose we've been given," you answer quietly. "Maybe we're more than that."

"More than our purpose?" 

"Yeah," you say, a soft smile tugging at your lips. "Maybe we don't need a purpose. Maybe it's okay to just exist." 

Jungkook’s gaze turns thoughtful, considering your words as if they are the most precious thing in the world. "Just exist," he repeats, his voice barely above a whisper. After a moment, he stands up, looking at you with a newfound fire blazing in his eyes. "I need to return. I will talk to some of my confidants, gather information, and then confront Namsu." 

You knew it was coming, but your stomach still drops. You're scared for him, for what will happen when he leaves. But you see the determination in his eyes, the steel in his gaze. You know better than to try and stop him now.

"You'll be careful, right?" you ask, your voice shaking slightly.

"I will."

He pulls you up and envelops you in his arms. His embrace is comforting, protective, and for a brief moment, it makes you forget about all your worries.

"Promise me," you whisper into his chest. 

"I promise," he says, his hands rubbing soothing circles on your back. He pulls away after a moment, but not before brushing his lips against your temple. "I will return. For you."

His words weigh heavy in the air as he pulls away fully, breaking the physical contact between you two. His gaze lingers on you for another moment before he turns away and disappears into the night. You're left standing on the pier alone, the cold wind making you shiver. Wrapping your arms around yourself, you head back to Lost Star, where you have nothing to do but wait.

It’s Christmas Eve before you know it. The holiday you have been dreading feels even worse with Jungkook’s absence, and frankly, you don’t know how to handle it. You plaster a smile on your face for the sake of the children, playing along with their excitement over what presents they are going to get and stories of Santa Claus. But every time someone brings Jungkook up, wondering where he is, you feel tempted to run to Naomi’s office and hide.

Speaking of Naomi, she has been keeping a close watch over you, mothering you as per usual. You know she can tell that something has happened. Once you step away from the festivities to do some of your work, she pulls you aside.

“Honey, what’s going on? These days you seem so out of it; you’re just flitting around room to room, acting like a ghost.” When you don’t answer, she frowns. “It’s because of that boy, isn’t it?”

"He… he needed to go home. He had some things he needed to figure out," you manage to say. It's not a lie, just an oversimplification of the truth.

She wraps an arm around you. "He's going to come back. I saw the way he looked at you, and you at him. And if he doesn't, well, screw him."

"Naomi!" 

"Sorry, sorry. He was sweet and all, but you're my girl. I'll always have your back." Naomi declares, patting you on the back. 

You accept her comfort, fighting back your tears. If only she knew your fear didn’t revolve around him coming back—of course, part of you is scared that something will happen to him, but the rational part of your brain, the part that knows his strength, has no doubts he'll be alright. In actuality, your biggest fear is that he won't be able to stay with you, and you’ll have to go through the pain of losing him all over again.

He's an angel. You're human. There's no future there. Your traitorous heart made you fall harder and harder for him without sparing that a moment's thought, and now you have to will yourself to accept that you'll always be in love with someone you cannot have.

The rest of the day passes in a blur, nothing but forced cheer and mindless chatter. Naomi sticks by your side as much as she can, making sure to redirect everyone who asks you questions about Jungkook. You're grateful for her presence, her constant support, and now more than ever, you realize how lucky you truly are to have her in your life.

As soon as everyone is in bed and your tasks for the day are done, you seek out the solitude of the pier once again. You've been coming here daily since he left. A sentimental thing, mostly, since it was the last place you saw him. But you also hope each night will be the night he returns.

The wind is strong tonight, the kind that chills you down to your bones, and the stars are hidden behind the clouds. You wrap your scarf more tightly around yourself, gazing aimlessly at the turbulent water. Suddenly, there's a bright light and a shrill noise. You aren't scared this time, and it's not nearly as overwhelming as it was. He must have tempered it somehow, made it less painful for you.

The light fades, leaving behind a figure that is unmistakably Jungkook. The sight of him fills you with such relief and happiness that you rush forward, throwing your arms around him. He envelops you in his arms, his wings folding around you, a sigh of contentment escaping his lips as he buries his face in your hair.

"I missed you very much," he says, breathing deeply.

"I missed you too," you whisper, tears prickling at your eyes. "I knew you'd come back."

"I said I would, didn't I?" he teases, pulling away just enough to look at you. "And I have news."

"What happened?" 

You stay locked in his embrace as he speaks, bringing one of your hands to his face to stroke his cheek, to follow the line of his jaw with your fingers. He lets you, as eager to feel your touch as you are to feel his.

"I confronted Namsu," he begins. "But I wasn't alone. There were other angels who had started the 'degradation' process, those who were too fearful of retribution to say anything. I told them everything, and we confronted the other Thrones about Namsu and everything he had done. They didn’t approve of his actions, and they punished him for it." 

"Really?" You ask, eyes wide with surprise. "Just like that? They believed you?"

A soft laugh bubbles up from him. "It wasn't quite that simple. There was plenty of arguing, plenty of disbelief. I’d never seen anything like it. But in the end, Namsu was banished from the celestial realm."

Relief washes over you at his words, the tension you hadn't even realized you were carrying leaving your body. "That's incredible.” 

Jungkook shrugs slightly, but there’s an unmistakable look of pride in his eyes. "I’m just glad he has gotten what he deserves. Now you have justice." He places a gentle kiss on your forehead.

"And what about the others? The ones who have started to degrade?" Your heart clenches at the thought of them being punished for something beyond their control.

"They're safe," Jungkook assures you quickly. "The Thrones have promised to take care of it all. They're going to convene with Him, to see if the Heavenly teachings can be altered. Things are changing up there; I think it's all going to be alright." 

You're overwhelmed with emotion, both relief and dread tugging at you simultaneously. It is good to know that things will be changing, but what is done to you has been done. And now, Jungkook has no reason to stay with you. You take a step back from him. 

"What about you?" you ask quietly, barely daring to meet his gaze.

"What about me?" 

"You have no reason to stay anymore. You can return to your normal duties. You did what was right, and everything is fixed."

"I did what was right, yes, and I'm sure things will be much better from now on," Jungkook agrees. But he steps forward, taking your hands in his and looking deep into your eyes. "But now, I need to do what's right for me." 

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, my star." Your heart stutters at the endearment. "I'm not going anywhere. I want to be with you."

"But… you can only do that if you're—"

"Human, yes," he interrupts. 

"Jungkook! You can't! You can't Fall for me," you half-shout, half-whisper. "You're a good angel, you—"

"Y/N." The force behind his voice stops you. "Even before you showed me the beauty of being human, before I knew how to feel, before I even knew what love was, I would have done anything for you.” His confession takes your breath away, and you wobble on your feet, moving a few steps back from him in your shock. “If you had simply asked it of me, I would have stood with you in the fires of hell for all eternity and still been grateful for each moment spent at your side." 

The tears you were holding back begin to fall. "You would have?" 

“I would. I can. I will.” He moves closer to you with each beat between words until he stands directly in front of you, only a hair's breadth away. Gently, hesitantly—as if for the first time—he takes your hand and presses it to his chest right above where a human heart would be. “Just say the words, and I will fall for you. I will forsake myself and turn my back on Heaven. The pain of losing my wings will be inconsequential compared to the pain of having to be without you.”

"W-what words?"

He smiles, eyes crinkling at the edges. "You know what I want to hear. Be honest. Even better, be selfish, like a human. Tell me what you really want, and I will oblige."

You hesitate. You have been fighting your feelings this entire time, so sure of the fact that Jungkook would choose to continue his life as an angel. You never wanted him to Fall for you, to be torn away from the life he has always known the way you were. But he deserves to make the choice himself. If he wants your honesty, you will give it to him. 

"Speak, Y/N," Jungkook urges, his gaze never leaving yours.

"I want…" You begin slowly, your voice barely a whisper. "I want you. I want you to stay with me." He grins, relief clear in his eyes. "Then I will."

"But you shouldn't have to Fall!" 

"Fall or not, it won't change anything," he assures you. "I chose this path before even knowing there was a choice. I chose you from the second we were created.”

"Even if that means giving up everything?" you ask.

Jungkook’s expression softens. He reaches up and tucks a wayward lock of hair behind your ear. "Does it seem like I’m giving up everything?" he muses aloud, his eyes never leaving yours. "Because from where I stand, it seems like I’m gaining everything.”

"Smooth-talker,” you laugh, a tear slipping down your cheek. He brushes it off with his thumb, his gaze softening even further.

For a moment, you just stand there, looking at each other. It's quiet except for your breathing and the sound of waves crashing against the pier. You have been so afraid of asking him to make this choice, and yet he seems so certain about it, as if it was what he wanted all along.

"Are you sure about this?" you ask him one more time, seeking reassurance. "Once done, there's no going back."

His answer is immediate, "I've never been more sure about anything in my life."

"This will change everything," you say again.

"I know," he replies simply. 

"Come find me when it's over," you whisper, placing a gentle kiss to his lips. "I'll be at the shelter." 

As you go to leave, you can't help but glance back over your shoulder at Jungkook, taking in the appearance of him and his wings one last time. He's still standing there, watching you go with love evident in his gaze. It quells some of your worries. And then you blink, and he’s gone.

The hours that creep by feel like days. You busy yourself with meaningless tasks, cleaning the office, flipping through an old book left on the table, scrolling TikTok. None of it does anything to dull your anxiety, and you're weighing the pros and cons of tearing your hair out before you finally hear a knock on the door. You shoot up to your feet, heart pounding in your chest. Slowly, you open the door, and there he stands. "I'm here," he says simply. "As I promised."

You pull him into a hug once again, burying your head into his chest. You can hear the beat of his human heart and, unable to stop yourself, you burst into tears. You know the pain he just went through, can remember experiencing it yourself like it was yesterday, and you can hardly believe he went through something so awful to be with you. 

"I'm sorry," you whisper, tightening your hold on him. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be," he coos, gently stroking your hair. "This was my choice."

You swallow hard and pull back from him so you can look into his eyes, searching for any sign of regret. You find none.

"Are you okay?" You ask anyway, your heart aching at the thought of what he has given up.

"I am," he assures, his voice full of conviction. He leans down, pressing a soft kiss against your lips, and when he pulls away, he's smiling. "I wondered if doing that would feel different now that I'm fully human." 

"And does it?" you ask, smiling back up at him.

"Yes," he admits, tracing an invisible line down your cheek, your neck, your collarbone. You shiver at his touch. "It feels more real. Stronger somehow. It's like you're the break of dawn after a long night." 

Your breath catches in your throat. "Being human certainly hasn't changed the fact that you have a way with words." 

"Only when it comes to you," he replies, his fingers never ceasing their journey across your skin. They make their way back to your waist, where he plays with the hem of your shirt. "There's one lesson we never covered, you know." 

"A-and what would that be?" you squeak as his fingers caress the smooth skin of your stomach.

His voice drops lower, and he tugs you closer by your belt loops. "Human intimacy."

You flush at his audacity but don't pull away. "And what would be the best way for me to teach you about that?" 

"Hm…" He leans down so that his lips hover over yours, and you can feel his warm breath with each word he speaks. "I think I would respond well to some hands-on practice."

Your heartbeat thunders in your ears as his lips press against yours in a slow, searing kiss that turns your knees to jelly. He takes his time exploring your mouth, his lips moving delicately against yours. His hands are warm on your skin, trailing up and down your back as he pulls you closer. 

"Then I suppose we should get started," you manage to whisper when you finally break apart, breathless.

Jungkook moves into the room, closing the door behind him, and sits down on the edge of the pull-out bed. He stares up at you, his once-innocent doe eyes now dark and hooded with desire. You float towards him as if being pulled by a magnet, and he pulls you down so that you’re straddling his lap. Your hands rest on his chest, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat under your touch. 

"I think I should warn you," he says, hands sliding down to rest right above the curve of your ass, "I might be a slow learner."

You roll your eyes, a short, playful chuckle escaping from your lips. "I think I can handle that."

The room fills with an easy silence as you continue to explore each other, experiencing sensations new for the both of you. His hands trace every curve and dip of your body, his touch curious yet surprisingly confident. Your fingers trace the lines of his face, his jaw, his chest, and then find their way under his shirt to the newly-formed scars on his back. They are rough against your fingertips, a stark contrast to the rest of his smooth skin. 

"You aren't in pain?” 

“No,” he assures you, his hands sliding to a similar position on your own back. "Were you for long after?"

"No, but I'm still worried," you smile sheepishly.

He laughs and kisses your nose. "Don't be. Don't feel like you have to be gentle with me. I won't break." 

You laugh in return, your eyes twinkling with delight and a touch of mischief. "Is that a challenge, Jungkook?" 

He hums in response, his gaze never leaving yours. "Maybe." 

His teasing reply only spurs you on. Rising to the bait, you lean in to kiss him, this time with a boldness that leaves him momentarily stunned. But he recovers quickly, matching your fervor and deepening the kiss. Your hands weave into his hair, pulling him closer, and his hips jut up against you almost involuntarily. You moan at the sensation, and he stills.

"What was that?" he asks.

"That," you breathe out, "is what human intimacy sounds like." 

"I want to hear it again." 

His lips find yours again and this time it's deep and demanding, all teeth and tongue and the promise of what’s to come. His hands grab your waist, forcing you to grind down against him as he once again lifts his hips up to meet your core. Another moan escapes your lips, the sound quickly swallowed by his hungry mouth. He tugs at the hem of your shirt, his fingertips skimming against the skin of your lower back. Eagerly, you lift your arms, and he pulls it off over your head.

"Jungkook…" you whimper, clutching at his shoulders. He responds by nuzzling into your neck, his hot breath making you shiver with pleasure. 

"You're so beautiful," he murmurs against the curve of your neck, his lips tracing the column of your throat, down to your chest. 

He places a gentle kiss above each breast before descending lower still, sucking one into his mouth. His lips and tongue move expertly, drawing gasps from you as your nerves ignite with pleasure. His hands are firm on your waist, holding you securely against him as he devotes himself entirely to exploring the new terrain, and you grind against him wantonly. You can feel that your panties are soaked with the proof of your desire. 

"Jungkook," you say again, your hands tangling in his hair, pulling him closer. His name is a plea, a prayer. "I need more."

He pulls back, his lips swollen from his ministrations. "And so I'll give it to you." 

You eagerly crawl off of him, shimmying out of your jeans, before settling with your back against the pillows. You grab at the air, beckoning him closer. He does the same, now only in his boxers, and slots himself on top of you, his bare skin against yours intensifying the burning desire coursing through your veins. His hard length presses against your core, and you whine.

"I don't know what I'm doing," he admits in a low voice, his hot breath fanning against your face as his eyes search yours for assurance.

You reach up, caressing his cheek. "It's okay," you soothe him, your hands then trailing down his back to rest on his hips, encouraging him closer. "We'll figure it out together."

His lips find your neck as his hands explore every inch of you, his rough fingers exploring the softness of your flesh. He slides one down over your stomach and lower still, feather-light touches teasing you until you're gasping beneath him. His fingers trace the edge of your panties before sliding the fabric down. You lift your hips, aiding him in removing the last barrier between you. He tosses them aside before returning his attention to you, his fingers skimming along your trembling thighs. His fingers move gradually, inching steadily upward until he's touching you where you're most sensitive. You let out a soft gasp, gripping the sheets.

"Is this okay?" he asks. You nod eagerly, unable to get the words out, and he chuckles, placing a gentle kiss at the base of your throat. "Good."

Always the over-achiever, he slides down your body until his face is level with your core, focusing intently on his work. His fingers move with a slow, calculated rhythm that quickly has you dripping for him. Eventually, he slips one of his fingers inside of you. Your breath hitches, your hands clutching at his shoulders for support.

"Am I doing this right?" he asks, uncertainty creeping into his voice as he looks up at you from between your thighs. 

"You must be," you gasp out, encouraging him with a roll of your hips. "Don't stop."

Grinning, he adds a second finger, working you open until you're panting and squirming beneath him. Your back arches off the bed as his fingers work their magic, curling in just the right way that has you seeing stars. Praise tumbles from your lips, but you're sure that it just sounds like nonsense, your thoughts too muddled to form coherent words. 

"You're so wet," he murmurs in a low, gravelly voice that only adds fuel to your desire. 

Without warning, he lowers his mouth to your core, his lips and tongue joining his exploring fingers. The sensation is electric; your breath hitches, and an animalistic moan escapes you. He takes it as a sign of encouragement, doubling his efforts. Your fingers find their way to his hair, threading into the dark strands, seeking purchase. You can't help but pull, and he moans against you, the vibrations only furthering your pleasure. 

"Jungkook," you warn, "I'm—" 

A coil of white heat tightens within you before snapping. His name slips from your lips as you climax, sparks dancing behind your eyelids as he continues to pleasure you, eagerly lapping up your release. He doesn't stop, not until you physically pull him away from you, body shaking with overstimulation. He climbs back up your body, his lips finding yours in a gentle kiss. You can taste yourself on his lips.

"You okay?" he asks, his voice barely above a whisper. 

His pupils are blown out with desire, his hair slicked back with sweat, and he's so attractive that just the sight of him has you clenching your thighs together. 

You nod, cupping his face in your hands. "More than okay," you assure him. "That was amazing. Now," you slide your fingers down his chest, sliding over the waistband of his boxers. "Let's see what we can do about you."

You hook your thumbs around the fabric and pull them downwards, and he does the rest of the work, kicking them off. You reach down, your fingers tentatively wrapping around his cock. He gasps, his head falling forward against your chest as you begin to stroke him with a slow, measured rhythm. 

He nearly whines, his grip tightening on your hips. "That feels… I can't…" His words dissolve into soft, broken moans as you continue to work him over.

Suddenly overtaken with need, you stop, pulling him in for another searing kiss. "I need you inside of me, Jungkook," you gasp against his lips, "Please." 

Your hand guides him back to your core, and his breath hitches. “Are you ready?”

Nodding, you lift your hips to meet him. He pushes into you carefully, slowly, each inch an intense sensation for both of you. Your body clenches around him as if welcoming him home, a strangled moan escaping your lips. One of his hands clasps yours, bringing it to rest on the side of your head while he buries his face in the crook of your neck, his heavy breaths fanning your skin. He's shaking against you, and you feel just as overwhelmed. 

You squeeze the hand that's holding yours, urging him on. "You're okay," you whisper, "I'm okay. Move."

He nods, pulling out almost all the way before thrusting back inside of you. Your body jolts at the sensation, gasping his name over and over. 

"You feel incredible," he breathes out, the statement more for himself than for you. “So perfect.” Your fingers thread through his hair once more, pulling him down to meet your lips.

His hips set a steady rhythm, filling the room with soft sounds of skin on skin and heavy panting. He lets out a low groan as he adjusts his angle, hitting a spot inside of you that has you crying out and grabbing at him wherever you can reach. You wrap your legs around his waist, throwing your head back against the pillows.

"That's it," you whine, "Right there. It feels so good—" 

Your words cut off into a choked moan as he thrusts into you at that exact spot again and again, his movements becoming more erratic. He's close—you can tell by the way his body tenses and how he gasps desperately into your mouth. 

"I'm… I'm—" he stammers out, breath hitching between each word.

"I know," you gasp out, meeting him thrust for thrust. "Me too." 

You pull him as close as possible, holding him to you as you both chase your release. Your eyes squeeze shut, and your nails dig into his skin as a wave of pleasure crashes over you, even more intense than the last. You moan his name as you come, shuddering beneath him. He moans into your neck as he follows you over the edge, his hips bucking uncontrollably as he buries himself deep inside you. 

He collapses on top of you, burying his face in the crook of your neck, his heavy breathing tickling your skin. He stays there, nestled inside of you, his heart pounding against your chest, matching the rapid rhythm of your own. You feel dizzy, your senses overwhelmed by him—his scent, his taste, the feel of him on top of you and within you. You caress his back, slowly tracing the contours of his scars with gentle strokes, the action soothing for both of you. 

Eventually, he shifts, carefully pulling himself out of you and collapsing onto his back next to you. His hand searches blindly for yours, lacing your fingers together once he finds it. He brings your joined hands up to his lips and places a soft kiss on your knuckles.

"Is… are you…" He lifts his head to meet your eyes, unable to form words. 

"I'm more than okay," you assure him softly, brushing a stray lock of hair off his forehead.

"Good," he whispers, a contented sigh escaping him. 

His eyes roam over your face once more before closing, his grip on your hand tightening ever so slightly. Together, you lay there under the sheets, and the silence goes on for so long that you almost think he fell asleep. 

Then suddenly, you hear him say, voice barely above a whisper, "I love you." You look over to see him staring up at you with adoration in his gaze and a soft smile on his lips. "I know I don't have to say it since surely there can be no doubt that everything I have done for you is out of love. But I want to say it anyway. I want to continue saying it for the rest of my life. I have loved you since before I even had the capacity to feel it, and I will continue to love you until time ceases to exist."

His confession leaves you breathless, and you can do little but turn on your side, grab his face, and place a gentle kiss on his lips. Tears prick at the corner of your eyes, threatening to spill down your cheeks.

"I love you too, Jungkook," you whisper against his lips, "So very, very much." 

He lets out an audible sigh of relief as if he had been holding his breath, waiting for your response. His free hand reaches out to caress your cheek, wiping away a tear that had managed to escape. "I knew you would say so, but I'm happy to hear it all the same."

The two of you get ready for bed, and, for the first time since commandeering Naomi’s office, you fall asleep together in each other's arms.

The day you have been dreading has arrived—Christmas. Despite your initial hatred, however, you find yourself actually participating in the festivities around the shelter. Just like as many others do, you aren't going to consider it a holy day. You're going to use it as an excuse to be happy and spend time with your loved ones. 

You join the group of children who sit by the pile of gifts, their excitement palpable as they eagerly wait for Naomi to declare it time to open them. Small hands tug at Jungkook’s sleeve, pulling him down to their level as they bombard him with questions about where he's been. He settles down amongst them, answering their questions as honestly as he can. His eyes meet yours over the sea of eager faces, and he stretches out a hand towards you, inviting you to join him. You sit right on his lap, making some of the kids giggle.

"Alright, everyone, it's time!" Naomi's voice echoes through the shelter, immediately quieting the children down. 

As each name is called out and the kids scramble to collect their gifts, you can't help but smile. The pure delight on their faces is infectious. Noticing your happiness, Jungkook pulls you back so that you’re leaning against his chest, his arms wrapping around your waist. 

He places a gentle kiss on your neck, murmuring, "You seem happy."

"I am," you say, placing your hands over his. "The holidays aren't so bad with you around."

"I'm glad." He turns your head so he can place a quick kiss on your lips, one that is light and soft and sweet, full of love. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, Jungkook," you echo, smiling brightly. 

Later, Naomi corners the two of you, pulling you aside. "I've been thinking about what to give you," she says. "I—"

"Naomi, you don't have to give me anything!"

"Don't interrupt me," she scolds, but there's no bite behind it. "Like I was saying, I was thinking it over, and I realized that the best gift I could offer is not anything material. From tomorrow on, you will officially be a supervisor. A paid supervisor." 

Your eyes widen in surprise, and you glance at Jungkook, who is beaming at you with pride. You turn back to Naomi, stuttering out a response.

"B-but Naomi, I couldn't possibly—"

"Yes, you can," she interrupts, her tone firm. "From the day you arrived here, you have been working as hard as any of us. You deserve this." Before you can argue any further, she thrusts a small envelope into your hands. "Consider it an early Christmas gift and your first paycheck. And my office? It's yours."

"Thank you, Naomi," you manage, your voice choked with emotion. You pull her into a hug, hoping it can express everything you don't know how to say. 

She pats your back, chuckling. "If anything, it's an excuse for me to take some time off. I'm getting old and need to start sharing the burden. Don't expect it to be a walk in the park!"

You pull away, wiping a stray tear from your eye. "Of course not. I'm ready to be worked to the bone, ma'am." 

"That's what I like to hear," she comments, her voice carrying an undertone of pride. She turns to Jungkook, her gaze soft but words sharp. "Take care of her, will you?"

"Always," he replies without a moment's hesitation, which earns him a small nod from Naomi.

Eventually, the celebrations wind down and people start to retreat to their beds until only you and Jungkook remain. Instead of doing the same, you decide to return to the pier and watch the water for a bit, not ready for the day to end. The two of you walk in comfortable silence, hands linked tightly as if promising not to let go. 

Sitting at the edge of the pier, Jungkook wraps an arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer to him. His body heat seeps into your skin, fighting away the cold, and you rest your head on his chest, letting his strong, steady heartbeat lull you into contentment. 

"Who would've thought we would end up here?" you reflect, staring out at the ocean. 

Jungkook laughs softly, his chest rumbling beneath your ear. "I don't think either of us could have predicted this."

"I never thought I would be happy that any of this happened, but I am. Are you?"

His gaze softens as he takes in the sight of you. "More than I could possibly put into words," he admits. 

"Will you miss it, though? Heaven?"

"I thought I would," he says, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. "But Earth has its own kind of heaven. You're here. Naomi is here. The children are here. I have so much more yet to discover, to experience." His gaze returns to you, eyes soft and full of love. "How could I miss anything when I have all of this?”

Your heart swells at his words, his declaration warming you like nothing else could. You reach up to cup his face, your fingers lightly brushing his lips. His eyes flutter shut for a moment at your touch before opening again to hold your gaze.

"You're right," you whisper, your voice barely carrying over the sound of the waves. "This is our heaven. Here, with each other. And who knows, maybe we'll end up back there someday."

"You think?" Jungkook asks, raising an eyebrow. "I must say, I'm a little surprised hearing that from you. I didn't think you had faith anymore or wanted it for that matter."

You shrug. "Honestly, I don't know. I don't have my original beliefs anymore, that's for sure, but I don't resent it all like I once did, either. I think I've just found a new kind of faith. A faith in myself, in people, in goodness, and in love. There are so many different kinds of religions out there, and at their core, they're all about trying to understand the world around us, trying to find ways to cope and move forward. I think that's what I'm doing now, in my own way."

"That's beautiful," Jungkook says, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. "Somehow both simple and complex. Just like life itself, I suppose."

"And what about you, Jungkook?” you ask, pecking him on the lips. How will you move forward?"

"Honestly, I'm not sure, either. But I think I'm happy to find out, as long as it's with you." 

You hold each other close, each hoping your touch can express what no words could possibly convey. Love. Gratitude. Hope. The promise of a shared journey. What more could you possibly ask for?

TAGLIST: @yessa-vie

✵ STUBBORN FATE✵ underground fighter!toji

your next door neighbor looks scary, but he cannot be far from it. little did you know his gentle smile and kind demeanor was masking his other life as an infamous underground fighter and he did not like you knowing about it either.

✵ underground fighter toji x uni!reader

✵ tags — SO MUCH ANGST AND HURT, blood, violence, vague assault from stranger, corruption kink, virginity loss, soft!dom toji, slow burn, mutual pinning, sfw, heavy nsfw, unprotected sex, (toji’s 26 reader is 20), protective toji, virgin!reader, spit kink, praise kink, crying, corruption kink, oral (f!receiving), fingering, crying, angst, bite kink,

✵ notes — the way this fic took me longer than I intended. I was gonna split it into two parts but i knew I’d get lazy and not complete it so I pushed thru and made it one long one shot

you weren’t scared. no you weren’t. you’re not…fuck

why couldn’t you be more aware? yes, you took this path many times to get to your apartment, but you should’ve remembered that this time was different. unlike the other times, someone had been tailing you since you left work. of course at night this section was much darker. and so, once you turned the corner, a pair of arms came around you.

the man from earlier now smiling, a darkness overlaying his sinister face as he pulled you further into the path, away from the main street …you couldn’t breathe. your body struggling as you flailed around. another pair of arms was holding you back, as you kicked out. able to get your elbow to collid with his stomach letting one of the men drop you.

“fucking bitch!” you felt sharp pain knock you down, holding your stomach as the other man came and gave you another kick to the back. the wind knocked out of you allowed the men to easily hold you down on the ground. you were completely vulnerable, the only thing you could do was scream for help. over and over…

your mind was fuzzy, you couldn’t stop your tears, trying your best to kick your legs out, only to receive a sharp slap across your face. “stay fucking still,” the hand covering your mouth allowed you to bite his finger, causing the man to hiss in pain, his hand bleeding.

you could barely see, your vision black….calm down calm down…i can’t see I can’t see—don’t touch me. get off me….what’s going to happen after? I want to go home! your ears stung, someone was screaming…I can’t breathe…why does my throat hurt?

you hadn’t realized that the one screaming was you— a gentle hand touched your face. flinching back, throwing your arms out, screaming—

“hey! it’s me! y/n! it’s me,” the familiar voice had you blinking. I can’t—I can’t breathe…a sudden wave knocked you over, filling your eyes with fat tears, letting out a broken sob.

“t…to…toji,” you couldn’t stop your tears anymore, breaking down completely, letting the man pull you into his embrace, his arms secure around your waist as he held the back of your head, allowing you to sob into his chest. he held you close, his own eyes bloodshot as he tried to stabilize his own breathing. holding you close to hide his own body shaking.

your vision was blocked by his body, not allowing you to notice what he’d done minutes ago to the two animals that lay dead on the ground. a black car coming with a few men you’d thought you’ve seen before…..

it was your first time living away from home, or off campus, you’d dormed your first two years, but decided to finally get an apartment, not wanting to deal with roommates anymore. it was a big step forward, but you were excited…maybe too excited.

“why isn’t the door opening?!” you grumbled to yourself, wiggling the door handle over and over, jiggling the handle—

the door suddenly swung open, causing you to stumble back, tripping on your bag you’d stupidly placed right behind your feet, knocking your head against the half wall behind you with a loud thud.

“fucks going on here?” a deep voice snapped. you were grumbling to yourself, rubbing your head in pain, eyes slowly trailing up the black sweats hanging loosely on the stranger, going up to the black sweater accentuating his broad shoulders until you were finally met with the dark green eyes staring back at you. “don’t want any ads—“ he goes to close the door.

your body quickly struggling to get up, reaching out with a loud, “wait!”

his brows quirked, seeing you kneeling down in front of his door. who even is this?

“it says this is my apartment,” you turn your paper that the land lord gave you just a couple minutes ago. scribbled very messy in the corner is room 406

he reached out taking the paper to read. this allowed you some time to look over the stranger. he was quite intimidating. a shadow looming over him as if he was something you should definitely not associate with. he was a bit older then you, maybe a couple years or so. he didn’t have any wrinkles, but his face looked tired. eyes downcast, hair disheveled. what caught your attention though was the multiple cuts on his knuckles and the scar in the corner of his lip. was he part of a gang?

that didn’t stop your eyes from wandering a little more. you’d definitely never approach him willingly on the streets, yet you couldn’t stop the heat crawling up your neck. he was much bigger then anyone you’ve ever met. if you squint just a tiny bit you could see the subtle bulge—

“anyone taught you manners, kid?” your eyes snapped up, face burning from embarrassment,

you gasp. “I’m not a kid—how old are you—“

“older than you,” he quipped with a sly grin, handing you back the paper.

“the land lord’s almost 90, the new apartment is 407, he must’ve forgot,” he watched as your brows pinched together, looking down at your paper. why were you so focused, and you still haven’t gotten up from your position on the floor. cute.

“oh, ah!” your hand slaps over your mouth, head shooting up as you apologized, over and over. I’m so sorry, I must’ve been knocking like crazy! it’s all my fault! I didn’t mean to bother you!

the only thing that stopped your frantic words was the warm hand on your head. your gaze meeting the deep green eyes. stunned, your lips parted a bit too cutely for him to handle. he couldn’t help himself. he was squatting at your height, petting your cute little head because you were getting all panicky over something so silly.

“don’t worry about it,” his words went straight into your chest, your eyes practically seeing hearts. he’s so nice! you were so wrong about him, you like his warm hand.

“moving in on yer own?” he asked, immediately noticing how jittery you’re getting, how cute.

you quickly tell him that the moving guys are downstairs, which you quickly come to regret since he removed his hand from your head to look over the side of the tokyo apartment building to see the small moving truck below.

“that’s good, it seems that everything’s sorted out,” he moved to go back inside his apartment, only to feel a small hand around his wrist. a small rush filled his chest, why did he hear his heart skip? he had to listen. once he looked under his arm, the almost 26 year old, felt his heart jump. your bright eyes looking up at him.

both hands holding his wrist, unknowingly squeezing your pretty tits up just for him to see. the little gloss on your wet lips had him feeling a certain way. all he could think of was petting your head as he helped you swallow his fat girth. he could read you perfectly, he knew your pretty eyes would fill with tears, it’s too big, but he’d still praise your pretty head off just for you to get all excited and continue slobbering all over him until his dick would twitch and—

“l/n y/n, it’s nice to meet you…” you gave a respectful nod, before looking up waiting desperately to find out who your kind neighbor’s name is. not once did your hand leave his wrist.

“toji.” nothing further said, yet he felt his heart beat a bit too loudly when he saw your pretty hair fly up a bit like some ghibli movie, you were too excited.

“toji-san,” you repeated the name to feel how it sounded on your lips, not realizing that it too gave the man a similar reaction. his cheeks dusting a light pink as he felt a strain in his loose sweats. how could she be even cuter?

the encounter was not the only one you had with the mysterious man. you often heard him coming back to his apt at odd hours of the night. sometimes when you’d be buying a drink at the vending machine, you’d hear toji on the phone arguing. he tended to do that a lot. some encounters he’d have gave you the creeps. what does he do?

you obviously didn’t voice it, but you enjoyed running into him during your late night convenience store runs. you used to think it was a fun coincidence, but now it was something you looked forward to every Tuesday and Friday night’s. I guess you both needed something during these days..

“toji!” the man looked up hearing your voice. you smiled brightly jogging up to him in your big hoodie and little pajama shorts, his eyes took a quick glance at your bare legs. the small heat in his chest made him avert his gaze, but he waited allowing you to come over to him before he pushed off the fence and walked with you to the store.

“how was classes?” toji had a habit of asking about your classes. you never voiced this to him, but you knew he was really interested….

“what’re you working on?” toji sat across from you in your little apartment living room. you’d invited him saying you made too much food and he quickly took up the offer, not refusing a free meal.

“physics,” you mumble, mind focused on your problem as you leaned against your arm writing down the formula. toji was silent as he watched you, eating every couple of seconds only to pause, infatuation consuming him as he watched your eyes dart around the page as he followed along with your equation.

“is it fun?” he could see the intrigue, your eyes lighting up as you looked up, nodding your head.

“i get stuck sometimes, but when I figure out the equation it’s really fun!” you gush, cheeks dusting with excitement. toji blinked, biting his smile as he snorted.

“nerd,” his reply only had you taking fake offense.

as annoying and bothersome your neighbor could be. he had his own way of being considerate and subtly asking how you’re doing. you can’t help the butterflies it sets off. he doesn’t like talking about personal matters, yet always asks how you are.

toji, however, didn’t need a single thing from the store. but he began to notice your late night runs once you’d first moved in a semester and a half ago, which he really did not like. he began accompanying you because though Japan is considered a pretty safe country, it’s still not a guarantee, especially this late at night and in this neighborhood.

“why can’t you wait until the morning?” he’d ask you repeatedly, you’d come down for things that you wouldn’t even need that very night.

“cuz I’ll forget by the morning,” you say as if it’s the most obvious thing ever. he hated how you do most of your errands at night, he hated it even more when he’d see you coming back late to your apt. but what can he do? you’re an adult, of course you’re free to do as you pleased. but that didn’t stop his stomach for turning.

the man’s eyes were focused on you, as you headed back in the direction of your building. you were going on and on about something that toji probably wouldn’t even care about if it was anyone else. but he enjoyed listening to you, he couldn’t help it when you were telling him about how your professor was praising you for your hard work and his hand was suddenly placed on your head. you stopped moving, blinking wide.

“you’re pretty smart, aren’t ya,” his deep voice had your eyes gazing up starstruck. his hand sent a wave of warmth through your body, feeling your heart beating in your ears. “such a good girl, I’m proud,” your cheeks stung with heat, the words caught in your throat because why? why did this man send your mind in shambles!

“tch, it’s not a big deal,” you try to brush off the praise, but toji can tell how much of an effect his has on you. you always melt whenever he touches your head. what would happen if he just kissed you right now? would you part your pretty lips for him? let him swallow up your whimpers—you were dazed, staring up into his deep warm eyes. he’d tease you about your homework one day, then praise you the next. you were unsure, confused, but that didn’t stop your chest from warming up.

“i—“

“ahh toji, we’ve been waiting!” your words were cut by the three men taking a smoke against a dark suv in your buildings lot. they all were big, just like toji, their arms and necks tatted, which had an uneasy feeling settle in your stomach.

“are they your friends?” you bit your cheek feeling how he retracted his hand, the two of you still walking, toji a bit more cautiously. the elevator was beside where the men were parked. you looked over at toji once he didn’t respond. feeling the hairs on your arm stick up, heart beating a little faster. his jaw was clenched, a vein bulging, and hand curled into a fist, and his eyes…they were as dark as night. “toji—“

“cmon man! we’ve been waiting for awhile now,” one of the men spoke, suddenly taking a beat until you caught his eye. “oh oh.”

your body jumped feeling toji’s hand rest on your lower back. his body almost pressing against your side like a guard dog. your eyes wavered on the men looking at you up and down.

“are ya havin’ fun with your little toy?” you felt a shiver run up your spine, feeling a warm breath against your ear.

“go straight to your apartment,” he was so close! your heart skipped a beat as he gave your lower back a little nudge in the direction.

“to—“ you looked over your shoulder, only to see that his eyes were dead set on the men across the lot. the street light casting a looming shadow over his face, his unkept hair darkening his eyes. yet…. he took a moment to meet your gaze, immediately letting his dark orbs soften with a reassuring grin.

“make sure you lock the door,” your heart flutters, “okay?” he waits for your little nod then points his head to the elevator, “good girl,” your body filled with butterflies as you calmly made way to the elevator. his eyes keeping a close watch on the men. he doesn’t move until the elevator doors finally close shut.

after your shower you tried your best to stay up, you felt a little uneasy about the situation. but you wanted to know if toji got back home safely. however, sleep overpowered your mind and you quickly knocked out on your comfy grey couch………

“we’re taking you to a hospital,” toji was holding you close as he called for the men to get an ambulance. your hand grasped his shirt, shaking your head.

“don’t,” you let out a small sigh, trying to calm down. your mind was in scrambles, desperately trying to think rationally. luckily you didn’t suspect anything to be broken.

“fuck you mean? please just listen to—“

“I said no!” you finally shout, letting go of the man, instead hugging your own body as you carefully stood up. toji swearing under his breath……..

you hadn’t seen toji in quite some time, he always seemed to be out when you’d come back home. you didn’t want to admit it, but you missed him. you missed walking with him at night. you missed giving him some extra food you’d ordered. you missed his comforting smile and warm hand. you never minded having him watch you do your homework. you wondered if he wanted to do more of your old homework.

“I finally got the tickets, cmon!” your friend, suna, had been going on about seeing this underground fight a couple months ago, however, you and your other friends didn’t believe him. suna took it a little too personally and desperately tried to buy tickets for months, and now he’s finally got them.

“this place is shady as hell,” you mumbled, yoru was holding your sleeve as you followed suna and your other two friends down the long dark alleyway, already picking up on the loud cheers and screaming.

after a few more seconds of walking, the small corridor burst into a huge underground stadium. your eyes blinking from the sudden bright lights.

“hey, stay close,” suna took your wrist leading you and yoru carefully past the huge bodies of people cheering.

“there’s so many people,” yoru shouted, your eyes trailing over the many different kinds of people that were here. it varied from high class businessmen, to normal average civilians. everyone seemed to be here.

“you guys should be on your knees thanking me,” suna boosted, you and your other friends rolling your eyes. “the price for this is not cheap,” neither of you said anything, considering how suna was a trust fund baby.

little did you know that the moment you’d stepped into the stadium, you caught a man’s unwanted attention. he’d only seen you once with toji, how beautiful, he thought, a sinister smile spreading across his teeth.

you all were watching the fights. it wasn’t like anything you’ve seen before. suna had told you guys earlier that this wasn’t the most legal friendly place, but you honestly could not have suspected this.

the rules of boxing had clear illegal moves, yet those rules did not seem to apply here. your body would cringe at the horrific sounds of bones breaking, fists breaking skin. the gruesome sounds sent your stomach turning, especially with this being with wraps instead of protective gloves like in a usual boxing match.

it was five different fights and you were getting close to the final one when a man by the name of raido, suddenly appeared in front of you. “you look like you’re enjoying the game,” his eyes closed in what seemed to be a kind smile. you felt a bit uneasy, but nodded your head, then looking past him to put out that you’re not interested.

“we’ve got some empty seats in the front,” he continued going on, this caught suna’s ear. “of course you can bring your nice little friends with you,”

“no tha—“

“holy fuck yes!” suna immediately jumps up, dragging you all with him as you scold him.

“suna!” you all hit him, clearly noticing how off putting this man is. he had tattoos that peaked under his dress shirt, he smelled of cigarettes, alcohol, and blood, and what was even more disturbing was the sunglasses. you couldn’t see where he was looking.

you kept an eye as the man, walking back to his seat, he seemed pretty important considering he had a place high in the stadium that overlooked the entire place. he whispered to the men he was sitting with, they all turned to meet your gaze.

“shit—“ you looked away, heart thumping as you prayed they didn’t catch you staring. luckily the next fighters were coming into the ring. finally allowing you a chance to breathe—“

suddenly you felt your dinner clawing up your throat.

“huh…”

“what is it?” yoru noticed your eyes wide open, staring straight ahead. “y/n—“

“and the moment you’d all been waiting for! the reason why any of you are here! the emperor of the night! tooooooojjjjjiiiiiii zeninnnnn!!!” the stadium burst with screams.

you couldn’t breathe. it felt like everything around you had gone quiet. you missed him. you cursed yourself. it’s been over three weeks or more, and now he was here. you felt your heart hammering. your mind dazed as he took of his robe. chills ran through your body at the sight. you would never have guessed. you only ever saw him with a hoodie or loose sweater, but now stripped down to just some boxing shorts, you had a clear view of the dragon tattoo that decorated his broad sculpted back. his bicep showcasing another collection of tattoos that wrapped around his arms. his sculpted thighs branded as well.

“y/n!” you were brought back by yoru’s concerned shaking, you apologize brushing her off so you can watch him. you didn’t know much about boxing honestly, but knowing this was not following the rules made you feel uneasy seeing toji here.

the night spent in your apartment as he looked through your old exams. you knew he had secrets, he rarely spoke about them except that he started working at a young age. he didn’t have time for studies. he’d always say you’re smarter than him. yet, he would be invested in your old homework. writing old problems down “just for fun”. the constant scratching of his head. his green eyes scanning the page as he tapped the end of the pencil against his scar on his lip.

“how’d you get this?” he’d shyly mumble, only for you to show him how you arrived at the right answer. he held onto every single word. he liked it. he liked it even more when you’d explain it to him kindly, no yelling, no degrading, just a simple explanation; and he’d get it. he wasn’t dumb…no… you think he was smarter than anyone you’ve ever met.

but he was in a place like this.

you wanted him to win. you didn’t want him getting hurt like the previous fighters. you wanted him to win so you can grab his hand and take him home…

toji’s feet pounded the ground, as big as he was, he was fast. faster than the fighters before. it was too easy for him. he dodged like no other, countered like no other, and punched like no other. as fun as this was for the crowd, it was not just a game for others. and for toji, it was a job.

he crashed onto the stool in his corner, spitting out some blood when his opponent got a cheap shot in. rinsing his mouth with the water his team fed him.

“fuck is taking you so long?” Raido suddenly appeared beside toji’s side, leaning against the ring. “you have a job.”

“I’ll rip that fucking flapper straight outta yer face if you speak to me that way, again,” his team was dead silent, frozen as ice. “you understand?” raido could not answer. instead he made the mistake of letting his eyes flicker up for barely a second. yet toji immediately caught his line of vision and he felt his entire body run cold.

“what is she doing here?” toji suddenly stood up, his eyes were dark, body boiling.

“boss, the rounds starting,” one of his men was waiting for toji to open his mouth to put the mouth guard on. toji couldn’t think clearly, his chest rising and falling with each heavy breath he took.

yoru was yelling constantly in your ear. your eyes wavering between her and the ring. you couldn’t catch raido’s smirk as he strides back to his seat. he was lucky, if you weren’t here, he didn’t know if he’d be able to succeed, that’s only if his men gave him the correct information. if the boss truly likes you then…

“what’s this!!” the audience is in screams, having just witnessed the cleanest maneuvering and a clear hook the immediately knocks his opponent out, jaw definitely broken. “The emperor of the night!” suna was going absolutely ballistic beside you.

toji couldn’t cheer, his eyes instead settled on the men in the booth high up in the stands, raido whispering in their ears as they boiled with anger. he’d won… he’d won, but he hadn’t completed what was expected of him. what was ordered of him. his opponent was to have a minimum of two broken limbs in the course of seven rounds, and yet he’s won with a simple knockout in just three rounds. of course it was for one reason only…

he didn’t need you seeing him like that.

what he’d thought was something to spare you, only seemed to shine a huge spotlight on how deeply you affect the “boss”. it wasn’t hidden either, no, it was definitely shown to everyone else, friend and enemy as raido came forth slipping something into the hosts pocket.

“as we do every night, an audience member is chosen to greet the champion with his medal!” the audience bursting with excitement. “and our winner is!” The host takes out the slip of paper from his pocket and reads of the seat number.

“C8” the audience fell silent as they all looked to the front rows, waiting for the winner to stand.

“that’s you y/n!” yoru yelped, suna gasping as your friends stared at you dumbfounded.

“have we found our winner?” The host shouted. “ahh what a beautiful young lady!” the audiences that could see, were letting out whistles. “now don’t be shy.” you felt uncomfortable under the eyes of the entire stadium, your eyes briefly glancing up at the stands, shivering to see all the men in suits practically feasting on you with their greedy eyes.

your heart beating was the only thing you could hear. your friends shoving you forward didn’t help either. you silently prayed for it to be you, you wanted to see him closer. you didn’t want anyone else near him, touching him, looking at him—but…but now…now you wanted to run away, you didn’t like it. you didn’t like the way he was looking at you.

his warm eyes and gentle smile was not there. no instead their was an unfamiliar hardness replaced in the kneeled fighters face. raido held your hand, helping you into the ring as he handed you the medal to gift the fighter.

the stadium was filled with cheers and applause, you were dragging your feet, unaware of how close raido stayed, until you took another step forward and felt your body suddenly lunging forward. it was too fast to process, because suddenly your body was pressed firmly against toji’s warm body. you could feel his heart beating fast, and his hand was so softly resting on the back of your head. you hadn’t realized that he’d immediately took your wrist pulling you into his embrace.

“I guess the emperor also has a type!” the host laughed, taking the attention off the fighter as he joked, allowing raido to smirk at the fighter.

“seems like you’ve made your decision,” his words laced with snark and confidence.

“big talk after the fact,” toji couldn’t help the deep laugh that was crawling it’s way up his chest. you felt goosebumps erupt on your skin feeling his chest rumble with laughter. “ahh I guess I like games too,” toji’s glare immediately had raido averting his gaze as he walked away, not before looking down at you.

there was a brief moment of silence. he was sweaty, sticky, and clearly bothered. but his arms were careful not to hurt you.

“what’re you doing here?” his voice had shifted tones, suddenly your mind could immediately recognize he was directing this to you.

“I came with my friends,” you gulp.

“if I ever catch you here again—“ your head pushes off to look him in the eyes, letting his words be directed at you and not the air, he falls silent. words caught in his throat, green eyes wavering as he met your bright ones. he cursed himself even more, his heart was hammering uncontrollably.

“who are you to tell me—“ his hand pulls you to his shoulder, fingers behind your neck as your eyes looked past his shoulder feeling his lips tickle your cheek as he spoke.

your mind flashes to the night your classmate walked you home. you spent some extra time in the lab to finish some work and test out a certain theory you wanted to run by your professor. you could tell your lab partner was trying to get with you. he constantly hit on you, flirted during your labs, but he was pretty charming. so you weren’t afraid when he asked to walk you home.

toji had been roaming around the building. he knocked on your door a few hours ago. he’d ordered some food for when you get back. this time it was his treat. you were always home at this hour. why do I care? toji was coming back from getting a drink from the store when he noticed the exchange happening in front of the building.

you were holding your bag, lips moving as you spoke with your hands. the unfamiliar man stood in front, his eyes darting over your figure. his fingers grazing your exposed shoulder—

“ah!” your body was suddenly yanked back, hitting a firm body. “toji?” glancing over your shoulder at the man holding your wrist, meeting your gaze. why did he do that? he had no clue what was going on. “this is my lab par—“

“I ordered thai,” he cuts you off. he was praying you couldn’t see the warm heat crawling up his ears.

“oh, okay, I’ll be right up—“

“it’ll get cold, you don’t like cold drunken noodles,” he said holding your wrist a bit more gently as he pulled you with him. ignoring all the alarms going off in his head.

“y/n—“ your lab partner called, as you glanced over your shoulder.

“I’ll send over the report tomorrow morning,” unbeknownst to you, toji was glaring aggressively at the man. a giant guard dog looming over you, immediately making him feel unsafe as he quickly went off.

“did you wait long?” you opened your apartment, allowing toji to sit in the living room, legs crossed as he opened up the food, laying it out.

“no,” his tongue darted out touching his scar. eyes following your form as you disappeared into your room. the door slightly ajar, self control wasn’t something toji was familiar with. especially when it came to you. he couldn’t help his eyes from watching your form pull over your top.

fuck, his gaze dragged over the brief glimpses of your naked back. he wondered how his rough hands would feel against the soft skin, how his lips would feel as he searched the spot that’d make you whine. why’re his pants getting tight, he gulped seeing you slip on a loose fitting tshirt, kicking off your pants.

his mind ran wild. eyes darkening, he wanted to bend you over right there. he wanted to feel your ass against his palm, he wanted to kiss your shoulder, stroke his palm down to your warm pussy. how wet would you be? would you shy under his gaze or rut against his hand. ahh he’d peel your pretty pink panties to the side and pull his fat length—

“you didn’t have to wait,” you quickly shuffled out of the room, yellow shorts flowing against your glowing thighs, plopping down in front of your neighbor.

“you’re the one that likes having the first bite,” he quips, ignoring the bulging hard on he’s carrying for you.

“nuh-uh, I just like—“ his fingers slip a spring roll in your mouth,

“having the first bite,” he finishes, watching you take a bite, cheeks heating aggressively as he brushed the crumbs from your lips.

“you my maid now?” you say with a mouth full, trying to conceal your arousal.

“you’d like that. like it when i feed you?” he tilts his head, eyes half lidded as he watched you blink. “cat got your tongue?”

“no,” you huff, embarrassed how flustered you’re getting.

“open your mouth,” his command automatically had your lips parting as he slipped in a noodle, not bothering to use his chopsticks, allowing his fingers to touch your wet lips. your lips enclosed around his two fingers.

“you like sucking on my fingers?” his experience with previous women, was able to shield his beating heart. so infatuated with your warm mouth licking his finger, rolling over the pads of his rough digit. he swore under his breath, pulling his fingers out as he dragged your bottom lip down. your tongue lulling out in submission.

“are you still a virgin?” his thumb pulled at your bottom lip. your legs were clenching together, a warmth pooling inside your light pink panties. shifting for some friction.

“you have a corruption kink or something?” you bite his thumb.

“not necessarily,” he swears as you suck on his thumb, eyes fluttering as you open your lips to take little breaths. “you like sucking on people’s fingers?” his pupils were dilating.

“your not just people,” you reply, toji cursing at your flustered state.

“you’re not hungry?” he bites his cheek, shifting his weight feeling his dick straining.

“oh, ya,” your lips peeling away from his thumb as toji brushes his hand atop your head. petting you as you generously ate the food he’d ordered. your eyes would dart up to meet his, but he only ate his food as if you hadn’t just been sucking on his fingers, visibly turned on by it too. instead, toji helped you clear the rest of the food as he cleaned it up.

“you have more work?” he walked back into the small living room seeing your papers now piled on the table. your hand switching between jotting notes with your pencil, to typing quickly on your laptop.

“I have a report I need to finish up,” toji suddenly remembered the encounter earlier. he was unfamiliar with this feeling. he couldn’t understand why he pulled you away from that kid. and he couldn’t reason why he isn’t sitting in his usual place across from you, but instead plants himself behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist, resting his chin on your shoulder.

your body was on a fire. huh? “you t-tired?” you cleared your throat trying to remain calm.

“thought I’d keep ya company,” he mumbled, lips pressing feather like kisses on your exposed neck. your eyes fluttered as his hand brushed your exposed thigh. “you’re burning up,” he whispers, causing your head to lull back on his shoulder as his palm generously squeezed your hip. “I’m distracting you?”

“ya,” you sigh, whimpering oh so softly.

“if I asked you to let my eat your pussy, how wet would you get?” your definitely blew a fuse. head steaming as you clenched around nothing, definitely soaking your panties completely. Toji’s head went back in laughter.

“asshole!” you elbow his side, making him groan. “don’t tease virgins! it’s not nice!” you turn back to your work, desperately trying to calm your body.

toji settled peacefully behind you. eyes following your homework as if he wasn’t sporting a hard boner that was pressed against your lower back.

“toji-“

“keep working, I’ll keep up,” he reassured, ignoring your stiff body until you returned to your work. shoulders slowly relaxing, body easily molding in his embrace as he’d mumble here and there. couldn’t you also use this formula? how’d you get to that? his fingers danced on your thigh, gently massaging the flesh of your inner thigh, his warm palm had a wave of heat coursing down south, and he didn’t care.

his fingers would tickle as he crawled higher up to the pulsing heat. your shorts loose enough for his fingers to slip inside your pant hole and tickle your panties. your breathing hitched as toji continued talking as if this was just one of your normal little sessions. it was a good distraction.

“I’m sorry,” toji retracted his hand, you were too focused on your work to hear what he’d said, but his hand returned to your thigh.

nothing happened after. toji fell asleep beside you, legs stretched out under the table as he laid on his side, arm swung over your lap as you finished up your work before you too crashed on the floor. and yet…here you are now…

“you wanna act like a bratty little college kid, then go get fucking wasted at some fucking party and stay up late smokin’ pot, fuck if I care,” his voice dropped, warm breath only sending a cold feeling across your body, “go on a date somewhere else. get your pussy wet fucking on some ferris wheel,” you felt sick the more he went. “but don’t you dare come back here.” your heart wouldn’t stop pounding. “do I make myself clear?”

you aggressively try to push him away only for his grip to tighten clearly not finished. “you’re a big fucking problem, we talk a couple times doesn’t give you any idea what position you’ve put me in. I’m not your fucking boyfriend or some shitty friend; you’re nothing to me. so you’re going to leave and I never…never want to see your face again.”

you finally get free with a harder push, falling back on your ass. eyes wavering on his face. you couldn’t recognize him. this wasn’t the same man who’d walk with you late at the night, he wasn’t the kind man that would pat your head whenever you did something good…no…this wasn’t him.

the long nights spent in your apartment explaining equations, only for him to gradually catch up in which he’s finally beginning to understand the problems on his own. sharing food as you’d lean over the table to correct his problems and he wouldn’t feel insecure in the least bit that you’re a girl and you’re helping him. smarty pants, don’t let it get to your head.

“y/n—“ your friend’s calls fall on deaf ears as you quickly made your exit, ignoring everything and everyone around you.

toji quietly watched until you were completely out of his sight. allowing him the opportunity to have his full attention on the men in the booth. dead men walking………

“what’re you doing?” toji stood from his spot as he watched you walking down the path, clearly trying to get back home. “y/n!”

you didn’t answer, instead focusing on putting one foot in front of the other, one arm across your stomach holding your side, as the other wiped the tears that felt endless.

the fighters jaw clenched as he watched you completely ignore him. his chest filling with frustration because how could this have happened. it was a message—someone was definitely targeting you in order to get to him—

a sudden yelp had toji immediately kicking off the pavement, arm around your waist keeping you from hitting the ground. you struggled in his hold, desperately trying to wiggle out “let…go,” your hands were clawing at his forearm, whining when he wouldn’t set you free.

“let me help you—“

“no!” you shout, only to whimper quickly after, suddenly feeling the kicks you received earlier. “I’m doing you a favor.”

“what’re you talkin—“

“you didn’t want me! I’m sparring you the trouble it’ll cause,” toji could feel your body trembling, your eyes stinging with anger and pain.

“hey…hey, take a deep breath, can you do that for me?” toji sets aside any of his own thoughts in order to calm your mind. talking you through deep breaths as he carefully kept his arm around your waist, until you were stepping into your apartment. sitting you down on the couch and moving to the bathroom.

“I guess it really would be trouble,” you mumble faintly, however, the man is able to pick up on it as he opens the first aid supplies. his green eyes flickering up to see your own swollen ones staring outside.

“I’m sorry,” your eyes return to him, watching as he gently cleans the cut on your lip and cheek. you don’t look at him. look at me, please! his thoughts were scrambled. no don’t, I don’t deserve it…

you felt your chest tighten, feeling the weight—he buried his face in your lap, hands gripping the sides of your long green skirt. your lips trembling as you watched his shoulders shake with anger. he’d unbuttoned your cream shirt, and he physically felt nauseous.

he’s caused worse, he’s received worse. but the dark bruise on your side looked like the worst possible damage in the world to him.

“why’re you mad?” your jaw clenched, blood boiling at his audacity. he had no right.

“I’ll kill them,” his words were muffled, he couldn’t think straight. “I’ll kill then all—“

“why?” his head snapped up, looking at you as if you’d just asked the most bizarre question ever.

“why?” he repeated, trying desperately to control his breathing, yet his eyes continued to look at the dark purple bruise.

“yes. why,” you pushed his hands off you, cursing as you stumbled only for his hands to come up to your waist, allowing you another chance to push them away.

“why? because they fucking hurt you!” he shouted, no longer able to contain his anger. especially with how loose you’re taking this. “you’re bleeding, and bruised—“

“nothings broken,” you snap back, staring out the window, not giving him the time of day.

“don’t be stupid.”

“what?” you whip your head over your shoulder, brows pinched. “you’ve come back with black eyes, the guys in that ring have broken bones, smashed in faces—“

“fuck kinda comparison are you tryna make here?!”

“the one between you and me,” your eyes were leaking, unbothered as you ripped out the pages throwing them piece by piece. “I’m the fucking problem, but I’m the one that you always come too. I’m hurt, but you’re always angry! you’re always angry even if you’re quiet even when you’re teasing me. I’m the idiot, but you’re an even bigger one!”

he stood silent.

“I left you alone because I thought… that it would stop your pain,” toji felt his heart squeeze, he didn’t like seeing you like this. what’s happening right now? of course this is his fault. when is it ever not his fault!? he’s brought this life on you, he caused this. only you’ve ever called him smart, but this man was nothing close to being smart. instead letting his mouth speak on foolish impulse.

“maybe i need to get further away.”

your tears collecting in your broken eyes. throat dry, lungs gradually running out of air over the course of the night.

“fuck…fuck y-“ you were holding your chest, clawing at your skin as you ran out of oxygen, breathing turning into hiccups for air. toji was an idiot.

stupid mouth. his body never listens. immediately holding you as he kneeled with your falling body.

“y/n! y/n, listen to my voice,” he held your cheek as you gasped for air, your panic attack sending your mind into a state of shock. “calm down…breathe, babygirl.”

your nails dug into his wrist, getting scared the more you tried to calm down. “breathe with me, come on, I know you’re a smart girl.” he held your hand letting you place it on your stomach allowing you a conscious physical feeling of breathing in and out, as he did it with you.

the panic attack slowly began to subside as you took in a few more deep breaths. his warm hand littered with scars and open cuts, gently caressed your cheek. your eyes gazing up at him, you hated him. but that didn’t stop you from squeezing his wrist.

his heart couldn’t shut up, what am I doing? this was not what he’d been preaching. quite the opposite. this was the closest he’s been to you. arms protectively holding you close. his cheek propped on his elbow as he gazed down at your sleeping form. cheeks still a bit damp. your scent engulfing him as he felt high.

“idiot.”

“are you still mad at me?” toji leaned against the vending machine as he watched you walk past him. you’ve been giving him the cold shoulder for the past month. and yet, he still stayed on you like a lost puppy.

“you’re the one that’s mad,” you roll your eyes, laughing to yourself when he’d do his routine of jogging up beside you, hands deep in his pockets as he accompanied you in your night shopping.

“why’re you still going out at night?” he huffed, frowning as he tilted his head staring at you from the side.

“I have errands.”

“which can be done later. can’t you be more cautious?” his jaw clenched.

“but you’re here,” you finally look at him. he blinks for a moment, noticing that the bruise on your cheek has healed, along with the cut on your lip.

“well, i won’t always be,” he bit his cheek, noticing your gaze still on him.

“then leave,” you pick up the pace. toji was starting to grow frustrated. you were not cautious. you went about your life as if there’s no risk. you didn’t care if it was night or day. you did as you pleased as if you hadn’t experienced a traumatizing event a month ago. and that terrified the man.

his hand held your arm, turning you back to him. “what’s going on? what’s the problem?”

“you tell me?” you shove back at him.

“you!” why does he always get so angry. “you’re the fucking problem!” toji cursed over and over. “why can’t you listen to me?”

“you’re nothing to me,” you threw his words back at him. he clenched his jaw.

“what do you want from me?” he needed you, he needed you so badly, but you can not choose him. he won’t allow you to trust him. not even if he’d give his life for you.

“you—“ your jaw clenched as well. he always makes your blood boil. “you’re just an idiot,” you burst. “fucking idiot!” you stomp away. “fuck you!”

“fuck you!” he yelled back.

toji cursed following you to and back from the store. “y/n!” toji called as you sped to your apartment, only for the door to slam in his face. “fuck me.”

his shoulders dropped, leaning his head against your door. what is he doing? he can’t put you through this, yet he already is. he was unfamiliar with this feeling. longing for someone. he didn’t like how calm he felt in your company. how his stomach churned whenever you’d meet his eyes with you’re bright and pure ones. you were too good for him. you were smart and ambitious. you had no limits, but if he was there he’d only drag you down. he wasn’t good for you.

the blood splattered on the floor. the cheers faded in the background as toji rolled his shoulders back. he was surprised to see the opponent rise to his feet. he usually had no thoughts except the job in mind during these matches. yet, it always gets scrambled when one person faces him.

not here.

your arms and legs crossed, leaning against the seats in the second row, chin up as you maintained eye contact on the ring, specifically the star of the night.

toji could not afford to loose out on the money. he’d already gotten to the sixth round, barely keeping this opponent alive in order to break his right arm, and two ribs. but you’re here. why!

“fuck!” toji rinsed his mouth with the water. letting his team slip the guard back in his mouth, eyes sharp as he met your gaze. he was angry. feral. but you stay unfazed.

fuck it. this is what you wanted. he wanted you to leave him. so he’ll lay out all his cards. no limits.

he looked like a beast, his agility was superhuman, and his strength could not compare to anyone else. he snapped the man’s arm with a quick and calculated jab to the joint, and a hook directly hitting his bottom two ribs, cracking them instantly. the man’s scream and the sound of bones breaking made audiences cheer or look away gagging.

your grip was tight, nails digging into your bicep as you averted your eyes down. your heart was hammering. what’re you doing here? you’re asking for it now! but you looked up, as horrified as you felt, it didn’t compare to the complete and utter hurt in toji’s eyes.

you stayed seated, people jumping around you, an audience member handing toji another medal, that was cheap and easily disposable. his looming form stood back up, taking quick and long strides across and out of the ring, until an arm wrapped around your bicep.

“ow!” you wince, his strength was something you couldn’t compete with. “owww toji!”

“this hurts?” he snaps, not letting go until you’ve made it all the way outside, having gone through a back passage, as he finally let go of you. the sounds of cars and a bustling night city in the distance.

“you hurt me!” you yell back.

“was I? I didn’t know,” his words laced with sarcasm. his hands rubbing his face. he was angry. “are you dumb?”

“no.”

“yes,” his eyes follow you. arms crossed again.

“why’re you so mad?” you’re really pushing his buttons.

“I’m the idiot!?” he exclaims. “Me!? fuck me!”

“you said I’m nothing, so why do you care so much? honestly it’s hypocritical. I can do what I want—“

“no you can’t! do you like acting like a fucking brat? you’re not allowed here—“

“who says?”

“me!” his chest is fuming, eyes wide and tired. “I said I don’t want to see you here.”

“no you said you never wanted to my face ever again. anywhere. but you’ve been breaking your dumbass rule over and over again. so it’s only fair that I do too,” his jaw clenches. “and I’m not a brat.”

“go home, y/n,” toji turns around, there’s no use wasting his breath. you’ve always been stubborn, since the day you’ve met. at least he dragged you away from the eyes inside—

his breath hitched. a weight pressed up against his back. toji felt his heart pulse, swallowing slowly as he feels your arms tighten around his fit waist. your hands were always so cold, so why was his body on fire? your face pressed deeper against his shoulder blades. “let go.”

“no,” you can feel your heart beating against your chest, stomach churning as you hold onto him so dearly. “I’m not leaving without you.” the fighter swears under his breath, eyes clenched tight recalling all the blood on his hands, the ghosts of the past. yet here’s an angel unable to let go of a monster—

“y/n, i said let go,” his hands try to pull your wrists off him, but you’re grasping onto him so desperately as you shake your head behind him. “stop acting like this!”

he’s able to get free, spinning around to face you. your hands balled into fists. he doesn’t need to say anything, he can easily read your expression. your lip jutted out, your eyes darting between his devoid of any ounce of doubt. his breath hitched. why are you so obsessed with getting hurt?

he left again—

that didn’t seem to work though. you were persistent. you came almost every night. watching every single one of his matches. it didn’t matter if you had work all day or exams the night morning. you would still show up. he would shout, yell, curse—repeatedly urging you to fucking listen to him—

“It’s fucking dangerous! what don’t you get?!”

“well that’s my fucking problem then,” you shrug, only causing the fighter to slam his fist behind you, cursing as the concrete alley wall broke the skin of his knuckles.

“fuck me,” his head dropped, brows scrunched. he can’t do everything. living this kind of life and having you. it was impossible. “I need to keep you safe.” he mumbles.

“i don’t need saving—“

“yes, you do,” he feels your delicate hand lift his head. “why’re you doing this to me? you’re always messing with my head,” he curses, your hands feel so nice. they could probably cleanse him of everything he once was, the horrors of his life and the trauma of the past. but he didn’t need the dirt staining you too.

“I’m not doing anything,” you answer, thumb carefully touching the scar on his lip. heart fluttering as his eyes fell to your lips. his entire being was fighting not to crash his lips onto yours. he wanted to know what you felt like. he could’ve done it with you ages ago, but it didn’t feel right. he didn’t want to disappear the next day. if he wanted to have you, he’d become obsessed—

“do I have to choose?” you couldn’t fully understand his predicament. you didn’t even know how dark his past was. but to you it didn’t matter. none of it mattered except that you could see the giant burden that had this man walking with a weight on his shoulders. living a life of crime and misery, when he had so much potential. potential that he thought to be useless, that was told by others was useless. but not to you. he was a diamond in the rough, and you were not letting that go.

“up to you,” you pulled away this time. as much as you held on, you couldn’t chain him down. he had to set himself free, you just gave him the key.

you knew what you were doing was dangerous. but you only had his best interests in mind—

the banging on the door startled you up. your eyes wavering at the extensive pounding. fuck fuck fuck, you messed up big time! it was because you kept going to his fights, now those men are here to kill you! skin you alive! fuck!

“shit,” you tripped getting off the couch, banging your side on the coffee table, hand quickly slapping over your mouth. the bangs were not stopping, praying the killer hadn’t heard you. your knees scurry across the floor reaching for the baseball bat—

“y/n, open the fucking door!” your hand freezes on the bat, ears perking. “y/n! come on I know you’re here!—“

“don’t fucking scare me like that!” you shout, swinging the door open, only to stumble back as toji grabbed hold of you. “what the fu—“ your eyes blow wide. “what the fuck!”

toji was drenched in blood. face splattered, arms and clothes—

“are you okay?!” his hand held your face, looking over it.

“me? what’re you—look at yourself!” your eyes couldn’t catch up with all the blood. was it his?

“stop yelling!”

“you’re yelling!” you curse as toji holds your wrist dragging you into the apartment. his hands moving around grabbing alcohol as he began listing a bunch of things as you ran from your apartment to his, not having time to look around before running back and dropping everything on the table.

“what do I do?” your eyes were shifting from toji’s face and his heaving body. suddenly feeling a warm weight press on your head.

“deep breath,” his voice sunk into your mind, gaze meeting as you swallowed thickly. “you’re fine?”

“stop asking that—“

“you’re fine? right?” his stern words immediately sent a flutter swarming inside you.

“yes…I’m fine,” your brows pinched together as he brushed his thumb across . “who’s bloo—“

“not mine…” he sighs tilting his head back against the couch. “not all of it is mine.” he takes a deep breath, “cut my shirt,” you immediately grab the scissors, cutting open his shirt, swallowing at the bloodied clothes as it fell down. you’re eyes darted around his body, the multiple scars and tattoos facing you now, but the bullet wounds on his side stood out.

“I’m not a surgeon—“

“you’re a nerd, don’t you read books?” he quips. your face shifting into anger, “there there, don’t get wet on me. I’ll talk you through it,” toji held your face, you’re panicked eyes couldn’t wrap your head around this. “now grab that scalpel—“

this didn’t seem like the first time something like this had happened. but it was the first time he was asking someone for help. his eyes followed your face, you’d mumble back to him after every order. “liking science doesn’t make me a surgeon.”

“just a bratty nerd, gonna run your mouth all night?” toji tsked, “ow! fuck!”

“maybe remember who has the knife right now.”

“scalpel, dummy,” toji corrects.

“scalppel, dummy,” you mimic, rolling your eyes with a huff. toji had a mouth on him, but it really came out when you had to dig for the bullet in his side.

“sorry,” you cringe, watching toji fall back on the couch.

“forgot how clumsy your hands are,” he sighed, your hands were shaky and it wasn’t helping. but eventually you pulled out the bullet and continued listening to his instructions.

“are you usually this submissive?” he was patting your head, eyes half lidded as he watched you work. you were wearing your pajamas. it was past midnight, his eyes flickering up to see your show paused. it was a bad habit of yours, staying up late to binge show.

“just when you’re half dead,” toji snorts.

“worth it,” his eyes follow your concentrated face, nose scrunched up as you finish stitching his hip.

“why are you not explaining anything?” your eyes dart to catch his.

“you didn’t ask,” he maintains eye contact. his smile only causing you to raise a brow.

“why’re you smiling?” you cut the end of the suture.

“is that not allowed?”

“it’s creepy.”

“you don’t like anything I do,” he rests his head to the side, staring up at you as you cover his stitches.

“that’s no true,” you mumble, still focused on treating him.

“then tell me,” his hand reaches up, cupping your cheek.

“huh?”

“tell me what you like about me?” his body was exhausted, yet he still had time to make you feel anxious, butterflies swarming inside you.

“i-i…” your face was heating up, words getting caught in your throat. “maybe you tell me what you like about me first!”

“your head,” toji easily answers. you snort, only for him to continue. “you’re the smartest person I know.” his grin suddenly has your chest warming. “you’re a good teacher.” his hand slides down to hold your hand instead, playing with your small fingers. “you’re pretty cute when you help me out. you rant a lot, and go on about stuff that I don’t fully get, but it’s cute in its own way. especially when we’re together here and you get nervous when I—“

“stop!” toji looks up, heart swelling as he sees the flustered state he’s put you in. it was too easy. “why did you actually answer,” you’re looking down at your hands, the dried blood didn’t phase you.

“you asked.”

“I did but like…”

“not good with your feelings?” toji clicks his tongue.

“my feelings?!” you blurt, cheeks flushed. “you-you’re just…”

“just what?” his arms suddenly hoist you up, planting you on his lap.

“what’re you doing?” you yelp, holding his shoulders as he leans his head up, sly grin painted on his lips.

“nothing,” you almost blew a fuse. the fairy lights casted a shadow over his face, his pupils dilated, lips parted. why does he look so good right now? one second he was bleeding out on your couch, the other he’s fucking teasing you!

“don’t,” you cover your face quickly, trying desperately to control your breathing. if he had you…if you gave yourself up and he continued this life, you didn’t know if your heart could bare it. “I don’t like seeing you hurt.” your words were muffled.

“this was the last time,” his hands wrapped around your small hands. “no more fighting.” you allowed him to see your flustered face. your lips wet and pouty, eyes half lidded. oh fuck. “that’s not the kind of face of someone that’s worried.”

“I am!”

“then why do I wanna kiss you right now?” your breath hitched, cueing the man to crash his lips against yours not wasting a single second.

your mind burst. stunned whines fall on deaf ears as toji holds your neck, thumb pressing up on your jaw, tilting your head as he devoured your lips. tongue slipping into your inviting lips as you held his wrist.

“you’re done?” you pant, “you’re done with that life?” toji kisses your lips again, the pecks expressing how much he’s longed for this. “will everything be okay?”

his lips trailed down the column of your neck. “I’ll make it okay,” he bit down on your shoulder causing a moan to slip out. “as long as you’re here.”

your hands pulled his face back up, lips attacking his once again. he smiled feeling your inexperience desperately crave for his attention, how cute. he helped your lips move with his, tongue playing as he held your hip against him, feeling his own arousal stir up.

“is it gonna hurt?” you mumble, fingers tangled in his hair.

“I’ll open you up, so you’re all wet and loose fer me. I’ll stretch you-“

“wait!” toji looks up. stunned to see your flustered expression. “I meant is it gonna hurt you? you’re the one who’s beaten up!” you blurt, still trying to wrap your head around what he’d just said. toji broke into loud laugh, cackling as he slipped his hands under your shirt.

“you’re so cute,” he catches your bottom lip between his teeth, nibbling on the soft tissue as you whine. the man grins once he pulls away to see you chasing after his lips. his fingers dragging your shirt over your head.

your cheeks darken as you feel the breeze against your exposed chest. nipples perking up like good little buds.

“aww, you got all hard,” he cooes, almost sending you into a coma as he caresses the soft tissue. his hands were huge, molding your tits in his grip. thumbs circling the pretty pebbles.

“you’re staring too much,” you cower, hands going to his eyes, as toji chuckles.

“getting shy now?”

“no, just—stop staring, perve—ah,” your face twists, body almost convulsing as toji pinches your sensitive nipples, only to latch his lips around one. “what the—ahh, you’re,, hahh-ah you’re biting!”

your hands grip the back of his neck, hips lifting as he held your chest to his face, sucking dark bruises on your bouncy tits. his voice groaning as he stared up at you. so pretty…so pretty… he couldn’t stop. he wanted to see more. wanted to hear more. he needed to touch more.

“pullin my hair?” his chest rose and fell, cheeks flushed a dark pink as your fingers held the back of his head, holding him back with his hair.

“you just started touching me!” you were beyond flustered. your face and chest flushed, nipples so perky and wet, you looked so fucking gorgeous.

“I can leave.”

“will you?” your fingers loosened from his hair.

“no,” his lips ghosting your own. “i wanna kiss you. touch you…I wanna fuck you so good, sweetheart.” your legs tried to close, but you only pressed down on his lap. “you’d like that?” his lips curled up. it was too easy to read your body. “you’re still a virgin right?”

“you really do have a corruption kink!” you blurt, cheeks puffed. “ah-you’re always biting—toji!” your arms squeeze in, unconsciously pressing your tits together as your pretty voice rises. his teeth nibbling at your nipples again. only to lift you up, tossing you beside him.

“i only have one for you,” his lips trailed down your body, sucking and biting as you squirmed. fingers permanently in his hair as he relished in your rough pulling.

“how are you gonna open me up?” you use his words from earlier, panting softly as you held his hair. his eyes smiled as he licked his scar.

“how do you want me too?”

your cheeks were flushed, yet you’re able to suck up the courage to place your tongue between your middle and forefinger.

he kissed his teeth, “dirty fucking girl, who taught you that?” his dick throbbed in his pants watching you act up from how turned on you were.

“what if I’m not a virgin?” you didn’t know what you were saying, maybe you just wanted to see how he’d react. you didn’t expect his lips to curl into a sinister smile as you watched your shorts fly off your body.

“then I’ll have to fuck you until your pussy can only cum for me,” his lips licked your torso, biting down as you squirmed, whines music to his ears. “but looking at how drenched your cute panties are, I doubt you’re anything but a pretty little virgin desperate to get her pussy ate.”

“toji, you’re too foul mouthed,” you whine, contradicting your so called pride as your hips try to get him to go lower. pressing his head down.

“shit, you’re teasing me now,” he dropped his forehead on your belly, laughing as he rubbed the outside of your thighs, fingers curling around the pretty light pink panties. “let’s make you cry, baby.”

you gasped, toji ripping the material of your panties as he brought your panties up to his face. “these are cute,” he grins watching your face steaming.

“stop doing weird stuff!” you slap his chest lightly, afraid of hurting him.

“just complimenting you, pretty,” he inhales the material, causing you to cry in embarrassment. “fine, fine, I’ll do that on my own,” he teases.

“perve!” he opens your legs nice and wide for his eyes. pupils dilating to a high at the jaw dropping sight. you forget your embarrassment, caught off guard by his reaction. he was mesmerized.

“fuck baby, fuck you were hiding this for so long,” toji was audibly groaning at the sight. pre-cum staining his boxers as his big cock throbbed at the sight. your pussy was finally visible to his eyes, his rough hands keeping them open as he watched your gapping hole throb.

“toji! you’re so shameless!”

“me?” his tongue kissed his teeth. his thumb suddenly began circling your clit, your juices immediately coating it. “you’re absolutely drenched,” he’s had his fair share of ‘long nights’ yet not once has he encountered someone that’s made him so visibly aroused without touching him. “you’re fucking leaking, and I’ve barely even touched you.”

“toji—wai—ahh—uh!” your screams bounced off the small apartment walls as his lips latched onto your clit, sucking desperately. he was buried between your legs, nose deep in your pretty cunt as he sucked and lapped, moaned and whined, he can’t even recall a moment when he’s felt so fucking good. has eating pussy always made him this aroused? no…fuck, he was really hard…it was just you.

“you taste so good,” his eyes were glazed over as your fingers dug into his scalp. thighs tightening around his head as your back arched off the couch, crying out. he was humming in encouragement, egging you for more until the cord finally snapped.

“ ‘m cum—ah! ‘m cumming!” your body convulsed as toji drank everything up. his tongue inside your hole as you gripped his hair whining, riding out his flicking tongue. he didn’t stop after you finished. “toji!” you gasp, pushing his head away.

“that was just my tongue, need to stretch you now,” his lips sucked bruises on your inner thigh, trailing over your hipbone as you let him kiss you over and over.

“are you gonna put your fingers inside me?” you were panting, yet you couldn’t help the twitch between your legs. his lips curled, rubbing his middle and ring finger across your bottom lip.

“i know how much you like sucking them,” he cooes, watching your pulp lips part so obediently. “there’s my good girl,” his praises run straight down as you start to feel lightheaded. tongue lapping and swirling around his digits, it felt so nice having him inside your mouth. you couldn’t help but wonder how it’d feel to suck his dick. the weight in your mouth, his hand petting your head over and over. he was definitely big—

“my virgin baby likes to tease me,” he feels his dick straining in his pants. he replaces his fingers with his lips. his arm wrapping around your waist as your legs crossed behind his back, smiling once he leaned up, letting you sit back in his lap. his fingers ghosting your hole before carefully pushing in. his eyes went bright as he watched your lips part.

“feels good,” you hold his face, wiggling your hips as he pumps his fingers. fuck, she’s so cute!

your nails dig into his shoulder. it was easy moving you around, spreading your legs further to pump another finger inside, cheek flushing deep red as he had you cumming once more. the moans only getting higher and louder as your juices trickled down his hand.

“your pussy’s doing so well for me,” he praises, cupping your pussy, pressing his palm down, before raising it to give it a slap.

“ahh!” your eyes nearly pop out of their sockets as he rubs your pussy some more. his thumb pulls at your bottom lip as you loll your tongue out, letting his tongue glide over.

your lips play with each other, allowing him to nibble and bite at your bottom lip enough to have you shivering and rocking your hips desperately. you’re out of breath as he leaves open mouthed kisses on your burning neck, before sucking another dark bruise.

“can I have it now?” you pant, so blessed out but so desperate for it

“it?” he teases, fingers digging into your ass as he grips your cheeks firmly, pressing you down on his fat bulge, rocking you over him.

“want it,” you bite his ear, holding his hand as you place it on your lower belly. “feels so empty without you,” you’re practically purring. “fill me up, toji.”

fuck!

toji swears under his breath, his pants on the ground and boxers tossed in a random direction as he lets his fat dick slap his tummy. your eyes gloss over at the pretty sight. his angry big cock glistening with his precum as it trickled down the bulging veins on the underside of his girthy length.

“now who’s staring, perv?” your cheeks flush at his words. toji scoops your dripping pussy as he wraps his strong hand around his thick dick as he begins pumping the pulsing ache. “keep yer eyes on me, pretty.”

“toji,” you whine as you shiver at how lewd he looked. face flushed, chest heaving as the tattoos accentuated his well sculpted body. his lips were parted as deep grunts flowed from his pretty lips.

“I’m so hard, fuck, you’re so fucking pretty, babygirl,” his head was tilting up to catch your lips again bringing your hand to his dick. his body shivering as your small soft hands wrapped around him. “good girl,” he cooes in bliss as you follow his movements.

his eyes watch your cute face staring at the way his cock twitches and leaks, hypnotized by the lewd scene. his stomach clenched, getting worked up. “keep looking at me like that and I’ll cum,” he pants, “i like when you stare at me.” you flush at his words.

“it’s big,” you mumble to yourself, lost in a trance you hadn’t noticed your words left your lips until toji drops his head back in laughter.

“need to make you feel all nice and snug, ya?” your thighs clenched around him. “wanna be a big girl and put it inside?” your head nodded immediately.

he helped you sit up, body hovering over his pulsing dick. is it gonna hurt? it’s so big! you want it inside you now! but how? “relax, y/n,” your eyes soften a bit at his call. his cock swiped through your wet folds, teasingly circling your tight entrance, before he held your hip with one hand and the other held your hand between your bodies as you squeezed it tight.

“ah, ‘s big, toji…toji—uh,” your whines were music to his ears, his dick only growing in size as you struggled to take just his tip.

“your pussy is squeezing me baby, relax,” he squeezed your hip in reassurance, only for your nails to dig into his hand as your eyes glossed over, panting heavier.

“it hurts…feels good tho….ah ah i—toji!” your face was pressed into his neck, absolutely stunning the man. did you just?

“I’m barely half way in, pretty” toji’s voice sent aftershocks as you shivered from your unexpected orgasm. “you’ve ever fucked yourself?”

“just played with my clit,” you mutter in embarrassment, averting your gaze.

“fuck me” his heart was beating as his cock pulsed. he was the first to be inside you, his hips jerked up unconsciously.

you whined, wiggling your hips as toji’s body caught on fire as he suddenly lifted you up. your eyes widening as your hands gripped his shoulders, stunned at his crazy strength. “sorry baby, I can’t hold back anymore.”

“huh? to—toji!” your scream pierced the air as he dropped your entire weight down on his dick, snuggling his full length in your warm tight cunt. your eyes rolled back in absolute bliss.

“shit! you’re squeezing me to death,” his body didn’t stop. it seemed like you’d forgotten how he was when he fights. even though the man was just shot and endured minutes of stitching, he had enough stamina to fuck you long and hard.

his cock squelching every time he thrusted. letting your pretty tits bounce in his face as he bit and sucked. the slight red that trickled down to the white cream base that decorated his cock had him going absolutely feral.

“lost your little virginity,” toji groans, you were squeezing him so tight. he’s dreamt of this for so long. squeezing your ass as he fucked up into you, slapping your ass every couple of seconds to hear the way you cry out his name, tears hitting his face.

he’s been dreaming of this. every time he’d stay up late with you, as much as he enjoyed solving your old homework and learning, he couldn’t help his mind from pondering when he’d finish. gazing up briefly to see your cute little face scrunched up in concentration, how much he wanted to bite your cheek, kiss your pouty lips.

“ so good…feel ‘s good, to…ah! uh uh! toji!” your high pitched screams were so beautiful. he didn’t care about the neighbors, or the noise complaints, not a single thing mattered other than wrecking the absolute shit out of the girl he’s been pinning over for months and months. he’s never felt so good inside someone. it was worth the torture of seeing you wearing you’re cute little shorts all the time, your tank tops that couldn’t hold in your tits all the way. the cute way you’d yell and tease him back.

“do you wanna cum for me, princess?”

“I wanna….yes…more please!” you were practically drooling as he let a glob of spit slip past your lips as you immediately came around his length. his cock was as hard as can be, holding your waist as he fell to the carpet floor, blanket falling to the ground as he laid you down, the pillow under your lower back. he pumped his dick between your legs as you panted, only to let out a loud gasp as he snapped his hips back inside.

“good girl, want all your pretty juices,” he praised. “fuck, I can’t live without you! so good, uh pretty girl,” his mind was so empty, the only things keeping him conscious was how much he needed you. his hand pinned both your arms above your head as he pounded into your squelching cunt.

“arch yer back, pretty,” you obey immediately, listening to the fighter as he groaned, feeling himself slide deeper. “atta girl.” your vision blurred the more pleasure toji pulled from you. “pretty girl, ugh, eyes on me,” he lets go of your hands, grabbing your face. “on me.”

your mind was so blissed out, his arms gripping under your knees, as he angled your hips higher, kneeling closer to your body as your ass slapped against his thick thighs, fat cock pounding your insides, kissing your cervix over and over. your arms splayed over your head as your back arched up, nails digging into the blanket underneath.

“taking my dick so well, uh, stretching ya out like a good fucking slut,” his chest was flushed, muscles flexing as your fingers went to pull him closer to you.

“I want more,” your words are slurred, eyes blinking with fat tears as you run your hands through his king raven hair, pulling him down closer as you take one of his pretty hands placing it on your lower belly. “want your cummy…toji…want it all inside me,” his cheeks beat red feeling his fat print bulging in your tummy.

“fuck,” his cock tightened, face scrunching as he felt your legs squeeze him. “don’t—don’t say things like that, baby.” his pace didn’t stop, keeping it rough and fast. the obscene noises only made your thoughts more hazy.

“I want it! ah ahh fill me up! want all of it, please!” your cries rang through the room as the man lost all vision. he wanted so desperately to paint your insides with his hot white cum. what would that feel like? to let go inside your untouched walls, to fill you with every drop of his heavy load—

“shit y/n!” toji bit down on your shoulder, groaning into your skin as you cried loudly, bucking your hips up meeting his thrusts as he cursed. “stop it baby,” he was desperately trying to hold onto his sanity, but you were making it too difficult.

your cries reached another pitch that he’s realized happens before you cum. rolling his hips into your pussy walls, your eyes practically crossed, drool sliding down your lips.

“shit! I’m so lucky,” he cursed, stunned by the shock, only to feel t your pussy clench desperately around him as your body shook, squirting clear liquid onto him.

“wanna be full, cum inside me, toji,” your legs locked around him, stopping him from escaping allowing his body to suddenly convulse. letting out a guttural groan feeling his abs constrict.

his head dropped against your own as he felt himself empty into your tight cunty. you rocked your hips with his as you milked out so much cum from his generous cock.

“so much, pretty boy,” you cooed, petting his hair as he groaned, burying his face in your neck as he continued cumming. he had so much for you, and you’d begged for it so sweetly, he couldn’t leave you empty until you were completely full.

“fuckin minx,” he licked the bite marks that decorated your neck. “take everything I’m giving you,” his chest heaved as he pushed himself up, meeting your lips. “you forced my hand, pretty.”

“kiss me more,” your lips caught his as he returned your sloppy kiss. tongues molding as he shivered, feeling you clench from the overstimulation.

he slowly pulled out, eyes half lidded at the sight of his cum oozing from your twitching hole. he almost passed out, but could only drop to your belly kissing it over and over as he pushed his cum back in. your fingers tangled in his hair, easily grabbing his attention as he crawls back up to you. your arms automatically wrapping around his shoulders, hugging him tightly.

“ya liked getting your pussy all filled up?” toji soothes his hands down your spine as you held him close.

“it was…” the sarcasm and rough exterior immediately fizzled. you felt so good right now. “nice,” you licked your lips, brushing them over his as his eyes fluttered. “don’t leave me, okay?” your sweet voice had toji blinking, before his eyes softened.

“I’ll die before I ever leave you,” he nudged his nose with yours, lips pressing firmly as you hugged him close. “you scared?” he felt your body shaking, suddenly growing worried.

your head shakes, “no….”

“y/n? baby, why’re you crying?” he was worried, his heart squeezing as he tried his best to wipe the falling tears.

“I’m not,” you sniffle, desperately trying to keep your composure, which only had your nose running and your eyes glaze even more. you looked so cute, is all he could think, but why’re you crying?

“you’re only allowed to cry about my big dick,” toji sighs, holding you close as he sits back against the couch on the floor. smiling when you break out into a laugh.

his chest rises and falls, closing his eye to rest his head back. your lips quiver, eyes looking over his tired body. fingers trailing over his tattoos, feather light touches as he begins to fall asleep.

“toji?” your soft voice calls him as you rest your head on his shoulder.

“hmm?” toji’s eyes are still closed, but he squeezes your hip to show that’s he’s listening.

“do you want to go to school?” your words are calm and collected, yet your heart is beating incredibly fast. you want him to get his degree, to pursue something he’s good at. though you’re pretty good at science, toji beats you in math. you didn’t know how he got to certain conclusions, yet it was all accurate.

“I want to be with you,” his words sent a fuzzy feeling inside, but you push it aside.

“seriously.”

“I’m being serious,” he blinks, eyes open. “you’re enough for me…” his words trail off. you’re silent for a moment, it seems like he was going to continue— “but I need to support you some way.” he smiles, pulling you closer. “think I can get my degree?”

your cheek flare as your eyes brighten big, toji flushed at your reaction as you nod excessively, making him laugh.

“cmere,” his hands bring you back to his lips. “I want more, all the time,” he sighs, licking your tongue.

“possessive much,” you try to hide your smile.

“very,” he squeezes you close. almost causing you to pass out until he gets comfortable. “now sleep.” he sighs, “I think I lost all my energy cumming half my existence inside your greedy fuckin cunt.”

“d-don’t say that!” you exclaim.

“It’s funny,” he laughs, tired eyes blinking to stay awake. “but your still leaking.”

you push off him, unable to take all this embarrassment, stumbling to your feet. “I’m gonna shower,” you huff, limping to the bath— “what! what’re you—“ you felt your body loose gravity, suddenly dangling in the air.

“you can’t even walk straight,” toji grunts, holding his side as he had you up in one arm.

“you’re bleeding through the bandages!” you gasp, seeing the blood trickle from the stitches you’d just sown. you struggle to get free.

“stop moving or I’ll open up the stitches.”

“what kind of—?!” you immediately shut up, brows pinched as toji dropped you in the bathroom, holding the sink as he winced. “I thought it wasn’t bad??”

“it wasn’t,” he turns on your shower. “but I couldn’t hold myself back when we were fucking.” he steps in, letting out a deep sigh as the water cascades over his body. the blood, sweat, and other fluids running down his sculpted legs and into the drain.

“we shouldn’t have done anything then—“

“I was too hard, something was gonna happen,” he extended his wet hand out. waiting for you. “cmon, don’t make that face.” your face is scrunched up in guilt and frustration.

“I don’t like seeing you hurt—“

“you said that already,” he grabs your wrist, pulling you inside. you hiss at the sudden water splashing on you.

“you only listen when you feel like it,” you tilt your head up, eyes rolled in annoyance only for toji to grab your cute cheeks and squeeze your face so your lips were jutting out in a cute pout.

“I always listen, so don’t be so worried,” he kisses your cheeks, reaching over for the shampoo. “now let’s clean you up.”

it didn’t fully dawn on you until you were laying under your soft comforter, warm body snugged close against you, face buried in your hair as his large arms held your back close to his chest. his hot breath even. but he was here. turning over, you gazed at his face, snuggling closer to him.

“toji” you whisper softly. It was a high possibility that he was fully knocked out now, but your fingers couldn’t stop caressing his cheek. his black lashes resting on his cheeks as his lips part with each soft breath. “I’ll do my best for you,” your own eyes starting to grow heavy. “so trust me, please.” your lips part to exhale.

“okay,” his lips gently press to your forehead. “I already chose you.”

pairing: toji fushiguro x reader | 1.6k words summary: boyfriend!toji headcanons, fluff, soft!toji, grumpy x sunshine, he’s a simp but he’ll never admit it !! rheya's note: grumpy man being soft for the person he really loves? i’m here for it. mamaguro is literal proof that he can and will love !!

bf!toji who is silent with his care for you. he's not one to be open or dramatic about his feelings, but you bet he'll show them in actions. small, mundane things that could only be picked out under critical eyes—like quietly placing an extra mug of coffee next to you as you work, or being the one to walk closest to the street, fingers firmly clasped around your palm. if you point it out he'll just grunt, shaking his head with a quiet "keep walking" all while pretending to ignore your silly little grin.

bf!toji who isn't really the type to be big on words of affirmation, but huge on physical touch. you tell him you did well on a project at school or work and he just hums, giving you a little nod. he doesn't say anything else—doesn't really have to because the soft lingering pat on your head is enough to tell you that he's proud.

bf!toji who is an aggressive yet affectionate lover. if you're doing something and he's not receiving your attention he will come up behind you and put you in a headlock. he thinks it's an appropriate response considering how much he craves your attention and company—why on earth are you focused on something that isn't him anyway? so be prepared to have his heavy bicep playfully curling around your throat or slinging you over his shoulders at random times—it's his way of telling you he misses you. and if anything, he'll do it to hear you whine and attempt to shove him off.

bf!toji who will absolutely take your phone and change your lockscreen to pictures of him. every so often, you'll turn your phone on and see an entirely different picture—sometimes a picture of him at the gym, other times a picture of him blocking out his face—but it's always him.

bf!toji whose own lockscreen is always something that's related to you. he's sneaky with it, always stealing pictures of you when you're not looking. he's got a separate album with them—probably hidden behind a password because it's something only he should be allowed to see. but whether it's a snapshot of his hand intertwined with yours or a blurry image of you fast asleep in his bed, it's always you. because of course you’re the first thing he should be able to see when he turns his phone on.

bf!toji who, as cliché as it sounds, is exactly the type to go feral if someone's made you upset. and he's freakishly observant, noticing even a slight pinch of your nose or wobble in your lips—he's caught them all. whether you're just down or outright sobbing, he's there, standing in front of you with pure anger weighing heavy on his brows. and yet for all his rage he's nothing but gentle as he firmly takes your face in his calloused hands, muttering a strained "what the fuck happened?" as he forces you to make eye contact with him. his own eyes will dart over your features, searching for discomfort or any other emotion as you explain, barely holding back his own emotions because there's no reason on the fucking planet that you should be upset at all.

bf!toji who rarely says the words "i love you" not because he doesn't but because the words themselves don't hold all that much meaning to him. no he'd rather spend his time proving it to you than just saying it for the sake of saying it. but, sometimes if you pretend to be asleep long enough, you'll catch him quietly whisper the words into your hair, almost like he doesn't want anyone to hear it. don't even bother trying to call him out for it—he'll deny deny deny.

bf!toji whose eyes flutter when he lets you trace over his scars. not just the one cutting over his lips but the ones that litter his back and torso—battle remnants that he doesn't remember much of. he's always hated the look of them, indifferent to old memories of a much more chaotic time in his life. but when your gentle fingers graze over the raised skin he'll sigh, oddly quiet but yet so comfortable.

bf!toji who will drop everything if you need him. don't ever hesitate to ask him for things because you're scared of being a burden—he will yell at you (affectionately). you drank too much with your friends and can't get a ride? call him and he'll pick you up even if it's 4 am. you're feeling nervous about walking home from the convenience store even though it's only ten minutes away from home? stay put and he'll come get you so that you can walk back together. shut up about all that "it's an inconvenience for you" bullshit—he'll do it and that's that.

bf!toji who asks if you've eaten today, and when you answer with a sheepish smile he'll click his tongue, crossing his bulky arms over his chest and giving you a pointed glare. then he'll say "get your ass to the kitchen. c'mon, up." while hoisting you to your feet—most of the time he'll just pick you up and plop you on the counter himself.

bf!toji who wordlessly makes you something to eat, whether it's a quick snack put together with leftovers or an actual full meal. then he'll stand in front of you with the plate and demand you eat. even a slight word of protest and he's scowling, already holding up a spoonful while grumbling a low "don't wanna hear it. open up, kid."

bf!toji who hates when you fall asleep on the couch waiting for him to get home. his job doesn't allow for the comfort of a strict schedule, and he's told you this many times. but you're nothing if not stubborn, and he can only sigh heavily as he sees you dozing against the armrest when he pushes the door open late at night. he'll click his tongue quietly, hooking both arms under your back and knees to cradle you against his chest before walking to the bedroom. though some part of him is pleased, knowing that you seem to care about him enough to make sure he's coming home every night.

bf!toji who glares at anyone who even breathes in your direction the wrong way. some guy eyeing you while you're walking on the street? toji looks like he's ready to rip his head off. some "friend" of yours asking too many questions about why you're dating a man like him? well…if looks could kill.

bf!toji who pulls you into his lap when he kisses you, because he likes the way you fit into his space so perfectly. he won't ever admit how it makes him swoon when you giggle against his lips, instead choosing to tighten his grip on your hips and pull you closer to his chest.

bf!toji who enjoys watching you sit on the kitchen counter and swing your legs back and forth—finding it so unbelievably endearing that he ends up just standing in between your legs and burying his face into your neck. his lips will map chaste kisses across your skin, and he'll hide a wry smile as your quiet giggles wash over him.

bf!toji who will notice when you eye something at a store, whether it's a pretty piece of jewelry or a new sweater or whatever—he keeps note. and then weeks later, once you've forgotten all about it, he'll come home and drop a bag into your lap before shoving his hands into his pockets. when you open it and start gushing about how much you wanted it and how pleased you are, he'll huff and turn away, muttering a low "whatever, kid. 's not a big deal."

bf!toji who sees you upset about something, and loops his bicep around your neck and tucks you under his chin. to an outsider it doesn't look like the most comforting form of a hug, but it's toji, and he's secure and he's safe and he's all the comfort you need—a tight squeeze that grounds you in a way that you can't quite describe.

bf!toji who will never admit how interested he is in your gossip. his ideal way to destress after he comes home is to sit on the couch with you in his lap, your arms looped around his waist as you press yourself against his torso and tuck your head under his chin. and even though his eyes are trained on the tv, he has no clue what's going on—he's more focused on the drama you're spilling or whoever you're ranting about. and he makes it known too, occasionally asking "then what happened, baby?" and adding in a few sounds of disbelief. by the end of your rant, he'll be saying something along the lines of "what a fucking bitch," or "honestly he deserved that," and then asks for updates on the situation over the next few days.

bf!toji who silently watches you trace your fingers over the lines on his palms. you're blabbering about something, tucked against his chest as his other arm remains wrapped around you securely, but he's just focused on your hands. it scares him a little bit—the difference between you and him. his palms are calloused, rough with battle and death, while yours are soft, clean of the horrors he's determined to keep away from you. and a small part of him tells him he shouldn't taint you with all his faults, that you deserve someone more capable of loving than he is. but then he feels you brush your lips over his scarred fingers and he sucks in a breath, tightening his grip imperceptibly. even as he hides a half smile against your brow, he knows he isn't going anywhere.