Heartbreak Is One Thing (my Ego's Another)

heartbreak is one thing (my ego's another)

character(s) : michael kaiser

warning(s) : kaiser calling people clowns, idiots in love, oblivious reader, kaiser being a tease, kaiser being annoying, kinda situationship at first, just kaiser 😔

a/n : this was kind of based off please, please, please because the lyrics r so funny!!! kaiser def acts like a little shit in this but he's sweet to y/n in the end so 🫶

as much as you hated to say it, you had a crush on michael kaiser. and it wasn’t simply the usual one-time attraction, your crush on him was long-lasting.

of course, you knew of all his glaring red flags. you witnessed firsthand his egotistical personality on and off the field, his…colorful choice of words, and his cold hearted treatment towards others. you had never seen kaiser even blink in another person’s direction and you were sure he dating life was non-existent. not only that, the way he called isagi yoichi a “clown” should have been enough of an ick for you.

but you felt that with you, he was different. (this feeling was so cliche you cringed every time you experienced it.) even though your crush on kaiser made you look at him through rose-tinted glasses, you couldn’t let go of the nagging feeling that you might have a chance with him.

kaiser had always been kinder to you than he was to others. you couldn’t recall all the times he held your bag for you or took you out for food or gifted you your favorite character’s merch.

and that was probably the starting point of your delusions. unfortunately, your feelings had reached a point of no return. you felt like bursting every single time he breathed next to you. considering how you were sporting a very bright red blush every single time you made eye contact with kaiser, you assumed the entire team (including him) would have found out about your crush on him by now, but luckily for you, they haven’t.

so, you’ve decided that before everyone managed to find out and embarrass you for your little crush, you would go one step ahead and confess to him. today.

it was another successful victory for bastard munchen and there was a house party being hosted that evening. all the players were attending and other influential figures and close friends were invited as well, one of them being you.

so, you got your makeup done nice and your cute outfit on. you realized that if you were going to be rejected, the least you could do was look hot. the moment you stepped outside, you instantly regretted your impulsive decision to confess to kaiser today. but you had to, because you didn’t trust yourself to act normal around him any longer.

“hey, y/n!” ness called out to you as soon as you walked through the door. “hey, ness, where’s kaiser?” you asked, wanting to get this over with as soon as possible. “hmm, looking for me, darling?” kaiser sauntered up behind you, wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you flush against his body. “well, uhm, since you’ve found him, i’ll be off!” ness took that as his cue to leave. you breathed a sigh of relief as you were finally alone with the bane of your existence before turning to said person.

“kaiser, don’t call me that, it’s so embarrassing!” you struggled to release yourself from his iron grip on your waist. “so, what did you need me for sweetheart?” kaiser leaned down to make eye contact with you. “i need to talk to you about something. and enough with the petnames, kaiser!” you tried your best to glare at him. “okay, let’s go outside then,” kaiser smirked before grabbing your hand and pulling you along towards the entrance. you stumbled slightly before catching up to him. thank god the lights were dim enough to cover the blood rushing to your face.

“so, what’s so important that you needed to tell me alone?” he asked. “uhhh actually, i’ve been wanting to tell you this for a long time now but…” you look to the side and purse your lips, the nervousness was really catching up to you now. “but??” kaiser pressed on, a teasing smirk on his lips. you finally get the courage to finally make eye contact with him before blurting out, “i like you. a lot.” a moment of silence passes by. as you waited for his response, the only thing you could think was

i beg you, don’t embarrass me motherfcker.

“i know,” he said, the smirk he was wearing growing even wider than before. you felt yourself getting irritated at his nonchalant attitude. “then reject me so i can get over it,” you cover your face with your hands, bracing yourself for the feeling of heartbreak. but it never came.

“why would i reject you?” kaiser questioned. “huh?” you looked up at him confused. “why would i reject my favorite person in the world?” kaiser grabbed your waist, pulling you against his chest. “you what??!?” you look so utterly confused kaiser wanted to kiss you stupid. “don’t you get it? i like you, too, silly,” kaiser fully embraced you. his hug was so tender and loving that you almost succumbed to his teasing. almost.

“wait…were you playing dumb all this time just to tease me?!” you exclaimed, jumping away from his warmth. “nooo why would i do that?” kaiser spoke in a serious tone, although the giddy smile on his lips said otherwise. “you-i can’t believe this, do you know how embarrassed i am every time you’re around?” you were exasperated at this point. “honestly, y/n, do you think i’ve simply been nice to you all this time?” kaiser sighed at your obliviousness, “but i guess it’s only fair that i confess, too.”

“go.” a stroke to your hair. “out.” a caress to your cheek. “with.” a fleeting kiss on your lips. “me.”

kaiser pulled away to admire the dazed look on your face as you finally said what he wanted to hear for so long. “okay, i’ll go out with you,” you smiled brightly at him. “see? now that wasn’t so hard, was it?” he smiled back just as brightly. “but you better not embarrass me kaiser,” you warned as he led you back inside, hand in hand.

“hey everyone, i have a psa to make!” kaiser spoke over the microphone. “Y/N AND I ARE DATING SO BACK OFF ALL YOU CLOWNS!”

you hung your head low as kaiser left the party with you soon after, claiming how he wanted to spend the night with his s/o instead.

this man will never fail to embarrass you, but it was totally worth it.

Breaking Barriers

Warnings: mentions of abuse (his childhood)

The buzz of the stadium was deafening, the crowd’s energy a palpable force as they roared for the players on the field. Among them was Michael Kaiser, the football prodigy whose skills on the field were matched only by his enigmatic persona off it. He had always been a man of singular focus, driven by the pursuit of greatness and the thrill of the game. Love was an alien concept to him, an unnecessary distraction from his path to glory.

Michael’s childhood was marred by hardship. His mother left right after he was born, leaving him alone with his father, whose abuse left deep scars. His father, lost in his own struggles and insecurities, offered no warmth or affection. Football became his refuge, the one thing he could control, the one thing that made him feel valued. Love was a luxury he couldn’t afford, an illusion he never believed in.

Until he met you.

It was after a particularly grueling match that he saw you for the first time. You were in the stands, cheering with a passion that caught his attention. There was something in your eyes, a spark that resonated with him in a way he couldn’t quite explain. He found himself drawn to you, his gaze lingering on your face even as he walked off the field, drenched in sweat and triumph.

The opportunity to speak with you came at a post-match event, a charity gala where the players mingled with fans wealthy enough to attend and benefactors. He saw you across the room, your smile radiant as you engaged in conversation. Gathering his nerve, he approached you, his usual confident demeanor slightly faltering.

“Enjoyed the match?” he asked, his voice smooth yet tentative.

You turned to him, eyes lighting up in recognition. “It was amazing! You were incredible out there, as always.” You couldn't believe you were actually talking to him.

He smiled, a genuine one that reached his eyes. “Thanks. I’m Michael, by the way.”

“I know,” you replied with a laugh. “I’m Y/N.”

The evening passed in a blur of conversation and laughter. For the first time in his life, Michael felt a connection that had nothing to do with football. He found himself opening up to you, sharing stories and thoughts he usually kept to himself. You listened with genuine interest, your presence a soothing balm to his often chaotic mind.

As weeks turned into months, your bond deepened. You became his anchor, the person he sought out after every match, the one who grounded him when the pressure became too much. He found himself caring about your happiness, your dreams, your fears. It was a new sensation, one that both exhilarated and terrified him.

One evening, as you walked together in the city’s park, he finally admitted it. “You know, I’ve never felt like this before,” he confessed, stopping to look into your eyes. “Love, I mean. It’s always been about football for me. But with you… it’s different.”

You smiled, your hand reaching up to cup his cheek. “Love is a powerful thing, Michael. It can change everything.”

His mind flashed back to his childhood, the nights spent alone, the harsh words, the absence of a comforting touch. He had built walls around his heart, fortresses to keep the pain at bay. But with you, those walls were crumbling.

“I was never shown love,” he admitted, his voice barely a whisper. “Not by my mother, not by my father. Football was all I had. It’s all I’ve ever known.”

Your eyes softened with understanding. “I’m so sorry baby, but you deserve to be loved. You deserve to be happy.”

He leaned into your touch, his heart pounding in a way that had nothing to do with the physical exertion he was used to. “I think I’m starting to understand that,” he murmured.

As you stood there, under the fading light of the evening sky, Michael Kaiser realized that he had found something even more precious than victory on the field. He had found you, and with you, he had found love.

chat am i in love with Kaiser of all people?

ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ɪ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ ʙᴇʟᴏɴɢꜱ ᴛᴏ @ᴄᴀʀʟᴇʏᴄᴏʀᴇ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴄᴏᴘʏ/ʀᴇᴡᴏʀᴋ/ʀᴇᴡʀɪᴛᴇ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋ ᴀɴʏᴡʜᴇʀᴇ.

I just read 'a boy named heretic' and it was really great cuz I can see little zandik being obsessed of his favourite researchers. And Imagine after creating his segments, little segments being so obsessed with you that they start their days with reading your researchs or treating your researchs like a religious book maybe even the older segments still do that. they would have memorised everything by now and that would be so funny like little segments make a mistake when they are talking about your researchs and older ones go like 'no no it goes like this and this' I can definitely see that happening.

Thank you for reading my brainrot over your fic and even though i just discovered you I love your writing style and your art is amazing so thank you for blessing us

Thank you so much! I try to write fics and tropes because I also struggle with Harbinger brainrot. Sometimes I draw and sometimes I gotta write. So I hope I won't disappoint with this one (｡•́︿•̀｡)

✦ You learn that Dottore taught his little segment about your old research too

(tw: none, pure fluff)

In the days of old, a young boy named Zandik was infatuated by you.

You were there, in the photos of the Akademiya’s best, A brilliant alumna. Meanwhile, he was still a mere student, looking up at you with eager ruby eyes. The distance between you two, not just in seniority, but in intellect and knowledge looked like an insurmountable ocean for little Zandik. 

He read all your published works, theses, or even miscellaneous essays. You were one of the few who dared to explore risque topics, often researching the fallen technology of your homeland, Khaenri’ah. Your works became his mantra, as the young trainee Dastur frequently stayed at night reading and memorizing your written words. 

How he longed to stand by your side. To bask in the glow of your wisdom, and hopefully, one day stand beside you in these photos of The Akademiya’s best. The thought of being your equal on that wall is a fantasy that once consumed him during many sleepless nights. 

But alas, his name was not in the records beside you. Instead, it was in the records of exiled students. 

The expulsion was a bitter pill to swallow for Zandik, yet it became a blessing in disguise. It allowed him to break free from the constraints of the Akademiya and truly delve into the depths of his research; to walk where you walked. With this liberating and newfound freedom, The Fatui heightened his abilities. They provided him with the resources and tools, and in return, he shared the fruits of his labor with them. But the Fatui were not the focus of his pursuits - you were. 

The little boy who once admired you from afar is no more. Now, a Fatui Harbinger stood before you, a man who has grown and shaped himself in your shadow. So here you were, in Dottore’s lab quietly musing. That was the story of your unceremonious reunion with The Doctor, whom you didn’t even know was after you. However, you didn’t mind it. You even met one of his many segments. 

What you didn’t expect is… a little child in his lab. 

A boy, looking awfully similar to little Zandik, no older than 8 years old. He gawked back at you, with his ruby-red eyes and you felt a sense of deja vu. You kneeled in front of him, catching a glimpse of a book in the child’s arms: 

“Um, hello, little one. What is that book you’re reading?”

The child cast his gaze to the floor timidly, revealing the worn-out book he was concealing behind his back. He held it tightly with his little hands, speaking in a small but avid voice:

“It’s your work… Your name is right here!” 

You blinked in surprise. It indeed had your name on it. The title was one of your research papers that you honestly forgot about. But what was even more surprising is why would an 8-year-old child read some old academic papers. 

“Oh, it is? But isn’t it a little… boring or difficult for you to read?” 

“No, I love it! I can even recite it if you want!” 

When Prime Dottore entered and spotted you talking to the eager younger clone he smirked. It seems you finally met his youngest segment, and your bafflement was expected. 

Dottore assured you that his segments, especially the younger Zandik, cannot contain their excitement at the mere mention of your name. They speak of you with a reverence that borders on idolatry, and they often ask Dottore about any copies of your published studies. 

It seems even the segments have inherited his admiration for you.

And the youngest segment, the 8-year-old child? They are absolutely enamored with your work. Every day, they ask about you and patiently anticipate any new information about your next visit to the lab. They even have a small collection of your books on their shelf, reading them diligently and trying to understand the complexity of your ideas. It was a bewildering sight, but the youngest segment enjoyed your academic essays as his bedtime stories.

“Dottore, listen. Did you make this boy memorize my thesis instead of reading fairy tales or something? Isn’t this a little… complicated for a child?” - you asked, picking up the little segment into your arms. 

“Nonsense my dear. Instead of fairy tales and nursery rhymes, a prodigy must start early by instilling a desire for knowledge. You can test it for yourself.” - Dottore explained, turning to the young child - “Recite the passage about energy infusion, paragraph 2.” 

“Okay! Ahem… ‘In the realm of Khaenri'ahn technology, we find a profound example of the interconnectedness between opposites. The use of advanced energy systems combines the power of light and electricity and as according to the data numbers of…”

Oh boy. These are big words for an 8-year-old. You don’t even remember the exact words of your 400-year-old thesis; that thing is ancient! You didn’t have the heart to tell them both that this thesis was written during an all-nighter rush. You did not feel nostalgic remembering your stress over deadlines. 

“Little one?” - You smiled at the boy in your arms and pointed at Dottore “Promise you won’t grow up like this big meanie here. He's annoying” 

“Heehee, okay!” - The tiny Zandik gently hugged your neck. The clone's innocent presence contrasts starkly with Il Dottore's imposing frown. What you failed to notice, however, was the young segment sticking his tongue out at Dottore's jealousy while you hugged the child unawarely. 

✮ - Thinking about having matching tattoos with Kaiser

Michael Kaiser's famous blue rose tattoo. The one that most people knew him because, I mean it was his trademark after all. Though after you started dating him of course you learned how much the tattoo actually meant to him, well in more specifics, how much the blue rose had actually meant to him. So since you knew your 3rd anniversary was coming up you decided to do something you had possibly thought about in the past but never actually acted on, getting a matching tattoo. Obviously not the same one he had, but something that also had the blue rose, and possibly the vines. You had already been getting a bunch of things online recently about tattoos, and finding a style that you liked wasn't all that difficult, Thanks Pinterest! Once finally finding a design you found a time that you could go get it before the date of your anniversary and one of the days that he had practice, so he wouldn't actually find out. Of course you had gotten him something else, but you thought it would be a nice sentiment to have a matching tattoo, especially from how many times in the past 2 years he's been asking you to get a matching one with him, and what better way than to get one that matched his most prized one? You ended up getting it while he was at practice 3 days before your anniversary, you had gotten it in a harder to see spot, around your ankle. So you could at least hide it with pants, or socks, and you were almost successful in hiding it for those 3 days. As the morning after, when he was still sleeping you were able to take of the wrap and clean it, and were successful for the first 2 days, but on the day before your anniversary it was really hot and you definitely didn't wanna wear pants to bed, I mean it was already hot and then a blanket on top, plus pants?! No way. Though in the process of trying to find something else, Kaiser came in. To which from the door of the closet you could see your whole body, and he frozen when he looked down and saw the blue roses wrapping around your ankle. "Wait a minute.. you definitely didn't have that the last time I saw your ankle, mein liebling.." To which you were surprised at his figure standing in the door, hadn't he already been in bed?! "Oh yeah.. Surprise?" He slowly walked over, sitting you down on the floor before sitting next to you grabbing your leg to look closer at it "You.. got it for me?" "Well yeah.. It was supposed to be a anniversary surprise but it was really hot so I didn't have the chance to hide it yet" You explained as he twisted your ankle around, trying not to hurt you, viewing all the sides of it. After a couple more seconds of looking at it, he put your leg down, moving over to pull you into a hug. "I love it. and I love that you remembered.. not only the fact I wanted matching tattoos, but what it meant. Now my two favorite things have a blue rose connection.." It was a few more minutes of sitting on the floor of your closet, hugging it out before the clock finally struck midnight, and the first minute of your 3rd anniversary with Kaiser. "Happy 3rd anniversary, Micha.."

kaiser as chi

"THIS IS MY DEAR LOVER."

Hii!! I hope ur doing great! I'm that reader who loves ur kaiser fic last week hehe :] it's been over a week, so I wonder if reqs are open rn but I'd love to suggest a Kaiser x (german) fem reader who's really close to her father and wants to bring Kaiser to meet him 🥺 gn reader should be fine too!! Thank u♡ -req !

M. Kaiser x reader | wc: 1.8k

Warnings: ooc kaiser like very, implied fem! reader, fluff, crack or maybe not, german typings w/translation!

"Mikka!!" You shouted as you went into the living room where your lovely but not lovely boyfriend is there.

"You don't need to shout my name, Mein Liebling." He looks at you from the side and went back to his book that he was reading. He raised his reading glasses to fix it till you sat next to him making his focus on to you. You took the opportunity to speak.

"Meine liebe, look!! Wait no, don't look. I'll be the one to tell you." You cleared your throat and sat up straight while Kaiser closed his book and continued resting his head on his hand.

"My sehr geliebter Eltern, wants to meet you, mein lieber Liebhaber." You squealed as you held your hands as if you were truly excited.

"Well for context, i have been talking about you to my father, and if your gonna ask, its part gute dinge part part schlechte dinge. But they liked you!"

Thats what you thought. And here your boyfriend was kind of overthinking. Your parents liked him? As if! What if when they actually meet, your father will beat him up? Part schlechte dinge? Did your parents judge him for it? What if your father is like his? All his thoughts were completely opposite of yours.

Unlike his, your thoughts were more.. What should we do first? Where should they meet? Where should they eat? You were quite excited. But that completely changed your mind when you saw Kaiser, he was surprised. You can't tell if its good or bad, he didn't look angry nor happy. More like fear?

"I know what I'm assuming is so out of character for you but.." Your two hands sneaked up to hold his. "He really does like you. I'm 200% sure he won't assume anything negative at all."

"That is, if you're busy or have a match or practice. When are you available." You asked and he snapped out of his thoughts. "I guess tomorrow. Any time is fine."

"Eeeekk! Ich liebe dich so sehr!" You wrap your arms around his neck as you hug him. "Its gonna be very fun, i promise." You said as you sat down and laid your head on his shoulder while you text your parents. He thought he never saw you as much happy as you are now. You seem to be quite fond to your father. He was quite selfish yet even he was shocked. He was happy that your happy with your father.

That was fast. That tomorrow was already is today. He let you choose his clothes honestly. You just said for him to pick on his own and say that any is fine. Just not too formal. And he understood the assignment by the way.

He drove you guys to your old house or province. Your house wasn't too big. It was just perfect for a family. Kaiser took a notice to that. He parked your car and then went out to rush to your side of the car and opened it.

"Thanks, schatz." As you come out. Only theb you realized he was quite more.. quiet than his usual smug personality is.

Pinch.

"Stop being so nervous. 'Ts just my dad! You'll br fine." You pinched his cheeks."

"I didn't say anything!"

You knocked on the door awaiting for your dad and to your surprise, he's the one to open the door with your mom peeking from the kitchen.

FULL GERMAN TYPINGS START HERE!

"Hallo, Kleiner!" (Hello, little one!) Your dad spoke.

"Hallo, lieber vater! Das ist mein Geliebter, Michael." (Hello, dear father! This is my lover, Michael.) You spoke, introducing your partner to your father.

"Haha! Ich hätte nicht erwartet, dass er schöner aussieht, als Sie sagten. Sie übertreffen meine Erwartungen." (Haha! I didn't expect him to look more handsome than you said, you exceeded my expectations, young man.) You nudge your father with your elbow.

Haha, du brauchst einen gutaussehenden Mann für eine schöne Frau, weißt du? (Haha, you need a handsome man for a beautiful daughter you know?) Kaiser shook hands with your father and then you hit Kaiser with your elbow. He still had his ego.

Eventually, you two sat down at the dining table to talk with your dad while your mom cooks up food.

"Ich habe tatsächlich etwas von Deutschlands Nationalgericht, Sauerbraten, gekauft." (I actually bought some of Germany's national dish, sauerbraten.)

Honestly you were shock when he took out the food. You didn't even know he had brought some. How? Did he already prepare it? Or did he order it? Wait, is he trying to make a first good impression? That's funny.

Your mom squealed from the kitchen. "Sauerbraten? das ist eines meiner Lieblingsgerichte!" (Sauerbraten? this is one of my favorite dishes!)

Your father and your mother thanked him for the food and your dad decided to talk about your lover for a while.

FULL GERMAN TYPINGS ENDS HERE!

You have to admit, even you were slightly nervous. Its the first time in a while that your dad had slight tension.

"So, Michael. Do you have a job currently?" Your dad asked.

"Dad, i already tol-"

"I'm not sure if you're familiar with me but, I'm a famous soccer player in german right now. I have a match coming up next week, you should watch me." Then he brought out two front row seat tickets, one for your mom, one for your dad.

"None tickets for my daughter?" That definitely gave you more tension.

"She already has three front row seat tickets to my next three match. Including to the tickets i gave you, sir." SIR? KAISER WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?

"Wait, may i ask, what's your last name?" My dad asked.

"Oh, Kaiser. Michael Kaiser." He answered politely.

"Oohh! Now i remember you, i remember seeing that tattoo on your neck somewhere. You're from Bastard München. Correct?"

Kaiser chuckled and answered, "Yes, sir. Its my pleasure to meet you." Then Kaiser shook hands with him again. You hope your dad don't see that as provoking him.

Your dad laughed.

"I like you, young man! You better marry my daughter soon, okay?"

"Dad!"

Then your mom asked from the kitchen, "Speaking of, how long have you two been together?"

Cough, cough

"A year.. and a half." You both answered at the same time.

"WHAT! and you didnt plan to tell us?!" Your mom answered. Then your father spoke.

"Only you, dear. Half of the year, your daughter has been chatting me about her boyfriend."

"Dad !" You called your dad, while Kaiser just laughed from it.

Wait. Laugh? Thats not much in Kaisers vocabulary. Wow, and he seemed much cuter when he has a genuine one. What a pretty boy. Maybe you are lucky.

"I'm expecting more from you, soccer prodigy of germany! I'm glad you have chosen my daughter." Your dad chuckled and even Kaiser laughed.

"Is that supposes to be an insult, dad?.." you answered with a sigh.

"I am glad too. Very glad."

Little did you know, his hand was sneaking up to yours under the table, holding it firmly but with gentleness.

"Food's done! Lass uns essen!" (Let's eat!) Your mom spoke from the kitchen as she walked to the dining room, putting down the food as she sat down next to you father.

"Now, i'll be the one asking questions to Michael." Your mom said with a grin to your father.

"Say, Michael, i expect that you and my daughter didn't do anything wrong, right? I don't want a police coming to my house.."

"Mom! I would never even!"

"Mrs. L/N, I assure you, those are not in my vocabulary. Other than being the best in soccer, and winning, taking care of and protecting your daughter might already be my top priority."

Your mom squealed. "Such words! I expect good from you Sir Michael, i'm also telling this to you, Y/N." Your mom then glared at you glare back.

"Oh please, wanna know my vocabulary? Its having patience with him." And your parents just laugh it of, while your looking at a blushing mess Kaiser.

He didn't expect he'd even be in a table like this with parents. And you. This is quite relaxing. Maybe he should have more of these. Kaiser thought.

Mein liebling - My darling

Der Schatz - dear

Mein liebe - my love

sehr geliebter Eltern - my beloved parents

mein lieber Liebhaber - my dear lover

Ich liebe dich so sehr - i love you so much!

A/N: chat im sorry if this is short☹️☹️ reqs r always open! Sorry if this took long too, requester..😓 I ALSOXWANT TO APOLOGIZE IF MY GRAMMAR IS SUPER BAD HERE... german, nor english is my first language😥