I'm Sorry But It's So Fucking Funny To Me That A Large Portion Of The Fandom (in My Experience) Has Halsin

I'm sorry but it's so fucking funny to me that a large portion of the fandom (in my experience) has Halsin being this extremely patient, kind, loving soul (which he totally can be!) and yet THIS is but ONE in-game chatter dialogue he has-

I... Halsin is fucking savage y'all. And I love it.

I just had to draw it

Jaheira keychain/sticker design!

get it here

In Sharess Carress there's a nymph that will ask for a companion's deepest desire (e.g. Gale can answer with wisdom, Wyll freedom, etc). Currently Halsin, along with Minthy and Jaheira, have no character specific response to this. What answer do you think Halsin would give?

(Video for reference: https://youtu.be/Y6Gu_WL8V0M)

I was just playing that part the other day and wondering myself.

I think that Halsin's answer would be wanted. Not sexually. But wanted as:

A member of the team

A partner

A community member

A friend

An elder

Because think about it. He lost his family. He lost most of his fellow Druids, and when he became a leader, he lost his friendship with most of the rest, and many began to resent him for his failings as a leader. He then had to abandon the Grove entirely to give it the chance to recover with Francesca's help, though of course this wasn't entirely altruistic since he also did it to help the Shadow-cursed Lands. He admits he struggles with not having a sense of purpose without the Shadow Curse, and when discussing what comes next, one dialogue option leads to him saying he asks nothing of the player but to be allowed to stay at their side. He says many things that indicate this time, traveling with the party, was among the happiest of his life, particularly in the epilogue. But in that same epilogue, he shows he doesn't think the player truly wants to stay with him, and before that, his response to various things indicate he doesn't dare believe his friendship with the team is meant to last, as important as it is to him; if the player says, on the docks, that they part ways there, he laments that it was "always destined to be so if [they] prevailed". And of course there's his dialogue to a romanced player where he is STUNNED they want to come with him to the commune.

So. What would Halsin want to hear more than anything? That he is wanted, cared for, cherished, that he doesn't need to do anything more than he already is. That THIS will last, that he will not be alone anymore, that people aren't just using him as a stepping stone to something better. He is wanted, for him, not for what he can do for others. He is wanted.

it's time for some more astarion analysis~

making this a separate post in case people wanted to reblog just the gifs on their own and don't care about the extra fluff. i'm certain this scene has been analyzed to the hells and back by this point, but when i was making this set something really stuck out to me and i wanted to throw my two cents in anyway.

this is the tail end of the mirror scene from act 1, where you catch astarion looking in the mirror and lamenting about not being able to see his reflection or knowing what he looks like anymore. and while that alone is sad enough, it gets SO MUCH WORSE.

if you express genuine interest in his predicament (i.e. asking him if he misses his reflection and what color his eyes were before he was turned), you get to see the mask slip. it's one of the first times in the game that he's not hiding behind his quick wit and silver tongue.

if you tell him you'll be his mirror, you can see the change in his demeanor immediately. his face softens, the cadence of his voice changes; you can literally hear the vulnerability in every word he says. huge props to neil and the rest of larian for making the distinction between these dialogue options, of course. it's the little details that really make moments like these shine.

but there was something else i noticed in the footage i recorded as well that i hadn't picked up on any of my other playthroughs. i've spent a lot of time staring at this man's face, especially while capturing idle animations for gifs and wallpapers, and most of the time it's what you'd expect, with minimal face movement, expressions changing, etc. most companions i record seem to behave the same way, with similar expressions/blinking/eye movement.

but just look at astarion's face here. this feels deliberately unique. he is SO anxious, so worried how you'll perceive him. the rapid blinking, the nervous darting of his eyes… it genuinely breaks my heart.

(tumblr will only let me upload one video per post, but just look at any other idle footage of him and you'll see the difference)

and the second you tell him what he thinks he wants to hear? that he's very attractive? he slips right back into his suave, flirtatious persona, and even praises you for complimenting his looks. even if you eventually ask him if all he wants is shallow praise, he still deflects and isn't completely honest with you.

note that if you choose to take the less compassionate route and simply tell them that he has a "very good face," he will still prompt you to tell him what you see when you look at him, and the delivery of the line is subtly but noticeably different and more guarded. similarly, if you poke a little too much fun at him by calling him old and draw too much attention to his mole, he gets very flustered and ends the conversation immediately. understandable, since he's relied on his appearance for so long, and hearing (even jokingly) that even that might not be something he can use anymore must be at least a little terrifying for him.

so naturally, you might think that by being truthful with him would perhaps net you a better result -- after all, you're telling him what he asked for, what you really see, that you see him as more than just someone to lust after -- but it doesn't. he actually seems a little upset if you choose those dialogue options. in that moment, he wants to know that you find him attractive, because he thinks that's all he's good for. because if you find him attractive, there's a chance that he could seduce you and use you for protection against cazador. i do think he also genuinely wants to know that there's so much more to him than just a pretty face, since that's a big theme of his entire story/romance arc, but that's not at the top of his priority list this early in the game. he's relying purely on instinct. he knows how to respond to people telling him he's attractive. accepting genuine compliments about the person beneath the mask? that's probably not something he's had much (if any) experience with in close to two centuries. he didn't have the luxury of being able to let anyone see who he really was.

all that to say that this interaction is really heartbreaking. he wants to be seen, wants to be understood and possibly loved, but at the same time he still thinks he needs to put on a front to ensure he can keep himself safe. watching him slowly start to unlearn those habits during the course of the game has been one of my favorite things about bg3 and a huge part of what's really endeared astarion to me as a character.

"But perhaps there is more that I want..." "This 'more' that you want. What is it?" "Not what. Who."

Explicit [NSFW]

Just Halsin thinking about Tav late at night, torn between them and being dedicated to give the Shadowcurse his full and undivided attention. Show some restraint, Archdruid!

Not pictured; Tav being exactly the same their own tent. (let's pretend they have one)

In true Halsin tradition, I'll attach a song for vibe. Now SURPRISINGLY, it's not a "sexy song". Could I have used one? Yeah totally. But the bittersweet pining fits this painting really well. And it's present on pretty much every single Halsin playlist I've seen haha (including Dave's)

Say "Night-ie night" and kiss me Just hold me tight and tell me you'll miss me While I'm alone and blue as can be Dream a little dream of me

Stars fading but I linger on, dear Still craving your kiss I'm longing to linger 'til dawn, dear Just saying this

thank you for coming to my TED talk