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the a-listers | ksj; masterlist

plot | Meet Y/N and Jin, two of Hollywood's hottest celebrities and couple — or are they? Media and fans have been wanting to hear a confirmation for years now. But you two are always good at confusing everyone. Watch as everyone else play this guessing game of what's the relationship between Y/N and Jin.

genres | humor/crack, fluff, angst, actors!au

pairing | actor!jin x famous!reader

note | drabble series! everything that will be posted in this probably didn't happen in order. below are the titles/prompts. asks are always open.

main masterlist | the a-listers: confidential | spotify playlist

instagram official — Your fans cheered as you two finally posted photos of each other on your personal accounts, possibly confirming the relationship.But it all changed quickly when you accidentally started an Instagram live.

lie detector test— During promotions of his new movie, Jin was set in a lie detector test. Surprise, surprise! He was asked about you.

masters of handling break-ups — After the tabloids released news of you and Jin ending your unconfirmed relationship, the world watches how you two will handle it.

reading thirst tweets — You and Jin read thirst tweets to each other.

the lover and the love songs — You co-wrote songs for Taylor Swift's Lover, unintentionally fueling the rumors.

year-end affair — Everyone heard nothing from you when Jin's birthday came. Only for you to reveal something during your appearance on The Tonight Show a month later.

the house is on fire — The best way to set a virtual fire is to suddenly take an unexpected break.

birthday tradition — All the things you did to greet Jin, unconsciously making it a tradition.

recently with the a listers... — A dating rumor with another personality there, a Taylor Swift collab here. This is one of the confusing days to be in the a-listers fandom.

drama, drama, drama - Being the two of the biggest celebrities in Hollywood, rumors are always unavoidable. Eyes and cameras were always pointed at you and everything you will do can be used to form some new type of ✨drama✨.

proof, they say — Every proof that random people took just to prove your relationship.

what a week! (finale) — Get ready. This is the busiest, craziest, and most intriguing week ever in your fandom with you coming back to the Hollywood scene with a bang, causing more tweets, more memes, and maybe drama about you and Jin.

QUESTION AND ANSWER W/ THE A-LISTER ➵ CLICK HERE

WHAT'S YOUR BET BETWEEN THE A-LISTERS? ➵ CLICK HERE

MORE PROOF ABOUT THE A-LISTERS? ➵ CLICK HERE

MORE THE A-LISTERS CONTENT ➵ CLICK HERE

taglist rules

THE A-LISTERS TAGLIST [updated in every drabble]

@fatimaaaaa129 @bangtannieshope @jub-jub @yoontaethings @kissme-ornot @sleepy-daydreams @veronawrites @cuteipat @stoop18 @ratherbefangirling @babystarcandy-gcf @akirawhore @alpacaparkaseok @rjsmochii @prlan @lovesickbangtan @zealouslightcookiebasketball @rapmonie2047 @btsiguess-kpop @angelarin @walkinganxiety0 @tpwk-280 @mediumcatt @bloopkook @sahazzy @yoooonie @amara-mars @firesighgirl @zwiehe @hiii-priestess @lojocas @juju-227592 @singukieee @eshtravagent @canarystwin @petalsofink

PERMANENT TAGLIST

@dunixxd​ @cixrosie​ @moonchild1 ​ @jksjx​ @embrace-themagic ​ @buttvi​ @starbtslove​ @missseoulite @vanntaesworld @kenqki @pixybear @miyukihoshi @stopeatread @seolaquotes

The Ability to Fathom (Chapter I)

✧ pairing: jungkook // reader

✧ rating: 18+

✧ genre: brother's best friend, idiots to lovers, mutual pining, college au

✧ word count: 9,5k

✧ status: to be continued

✧ warnings: intense pining, dirty thoughts, explicit language, condescending self-talk, masturbation, driving under the influence

✧ description: you are shocked when your friends reveal their theory: jungkook, your brother's annoying best friend, has a crush on you. a bad one. however, the more you become aware of the way he acts around you, the more you begin to wonder...

✧ author's note: this is just a silly little thing to help me get over myself and get better at writing. i hope u enjoy because these two have been with me for like a year lol

✧ series master list

It's an overcast Monday afternoon when your friends decide to drop the bomb. A Monday is a weird day to drop a bomb to begin with, but it is an even weirder day to drop The Bomb.

"Jungkook is so fucking hot", Taehyung sighs from beside you. You also sigh, but definitely not out of awe like your friend is.

"And disgusting", you add as you observe Jungkook running after a soccer ball, drenched in your university's signature colours from head to toe.

Ball games have always seemed ridiculous to you. He looks like a possessed primate or something of the sort.

Taehyung smirks. "Maybe, but in the best way so. Like he would eat out your ass and hungrily make out with you after."

Your mouth falls open. "Ew, Tae! I had no idea you thought of him like that!"

How anyone could think like that of Jungkook, your brother's annoying best friend and bane of your existence, was a mystery to you. But the better half of campus appeared to be magically drawn to the boy. And apparently your friend had fallen victim too.

Taehyung angles his head towards you. "Oh, I don't think of him like that. I'm only sharing what I imagine is going on in your head. You know, since you keep ogling him like a love-sick puppy."

Ji-eun, your other best friend, shakes her head in agreement. "That is exactly what I imagine her thoughts to be like. Every time she looks at him, I hear something like Please, shove those long, tattooed fingers up my-"

"What?", your voice sounds shrill. However, a little hysteria is only appropriate. "We're talking about the same Jungkook, are we? Jeon Jungkook? Because if we are, I think I'm going to be sick right now!"

The thought of Jungkook and you doing sexual activities was indeed very upsetting to your stomach. Also, you had just downed an entire litre of overpriced soda in the span of 10 minutes. Bad timing.

"Is there any other Jungkook that you are undeniably in love with and that is undeniably in love with you too?", Taehyung counters.

You look over at Ji-eun for help because surely, she can't also have lost her mind. But all hope dies within the next few seconds.

"Come on, __, how much longer are we going to keep pretending?", she asks.

"Keep pretending what?", you choke out.

"Well, the list is long", she starts. "First off, there is the fact that you two are at least three months overdue to fuck each other. Instead, you've been pulling at each other's hair like seven-year-olds who don't know any other way to express their romantic interest."

"Fu..." You can't even pronounce the word properly. "Jungkook?"

Taehyung lowers his chin encouragingly. "Yes, fuck Jungkook. However, in your case the term 'making love' would be much more appropriate."

"What is going on with you two?", you whisper, thoroughly scandalised, looking back and forth between your best friends with wide eyes.

"If you want the whole backstory: Taehyung and I had a talk this morning", Ji-eun states.

"You had a talk this Monday morning?"

This had to be a dream, because there was just no way. It was Monday, for God's sake.

"Exactly. And we've decided that we are sick of it. We've been quietly observing this whole spiel for too long", she takes a deep breath. "You see, we genuinely wanted the two of you to figure this out by yourselves, like adults. Maybe go on a date. Kiss a little. Confess your undying affection. But clearly-"

"Hold on, I think I need a break-"

"clearly, you two are just incompetent idiots. And we are so tired. You get that, right, __? There is only so much sexual tension our poor souls can handle. And you two crossed that limit", she huffs. "A long time ago."

Your mouth is hanging wide open after her little speech and your jaw only drops further towards the ground with Taehyung's next words.

"Also, you are kind of breaking Jungkook's heart at this point."

"Breaking Jungkook's heart? Are you insane?", you cross your arms over your chest. "Seriously, what the hell are the both of you on? You're trying to fuck with me, aren't you?"

When they don't answer, the only option you see for yourself is to slap your palm flat against your cheek with as much force as one can possibly use when hitting oneself. 

"Oh shit ", you wince.

Immediate regret washes over you as half of your face begins to sting from the strength you mustered only to prove that this is in fact not a dream.

Ji-eun shakes her head at you pityingly. "See, this is exactly where the problem lies. You are not only oblivious as heck, but you are also incredibly dumb."

You clutch your reddened cheek.

"But don't worry. This is where we come in", Taehyung's good-natured tone is always a welcome contrast to Ji-eun's harshness. "As your best friends and saviours."

"No, Taehyung, this is where you come in as my clue to start looking for anti-schizophrenia pills as soon as possible", you veto.

You and Jungkook have known each other for what seems like three lifetimes too long. Not only because he grew up next door, but also because he and your brother Jimin decided to spend every waking second glued to the other's hip from the moment they met. Not once has your relationship crossed the line of annoying the living hell out of each other.

So you genuinely don't understand where all of this is coming from.

"The thing is, __, we know your story. You're from a small town, socially awkward, never had a boyfriend. Like, no male genitalia has even ever been in the vicinity of you. Of course you wouldn't get it, you poor thing!", Ji-eun coos. "So now we are going to spell it out for you nice and slow, with easy words so that even your disappointment of a brain is going to-"

"Could you stop being so mean?"

"So that even your disappointment of a brain is going to understand. When we first arrived on campus and, wait, Taehyung, can you take over? I'm getting a little out of breath."

You watch as she fans the cool spring air into her face. Unbelievable.

"Sure. It is a tragic story", Taehyung continues dutifully. "When we first arrived on campus and Jungkook lifted you up and spun you around like you were lovers who had been tragically separated we thought why didn't this traitor tell us she had a boyfriend. Remember? But then you explained that he is just like a second brother to you. With him being Jimin's best friend and all that..."

You have trouble following along with how quickly he is sputtering nonsense.

"Yeah, so that belief lasted approximately for the next hour we saw you two interact. And then we figured, oh she doesn't know ", Ji-eun adds. "For a while, we decided to have fun with it and use your idiocy as a source of easy entertainment. Watch as you two danced around one another. But all that initial fun quickly turned into frustration. Because really, how can two people be so utterly stupid-"

"Stop being mean!", you whine, but of course, she babbles right over you.

"I won't, because beating around the bush apparently doesn't work so well with you!", she throws her hands up. "And here comes the fateful moment where we break it to you: All this time you have been entirely misinterpreting Jungkook's social cues and he has actually been harbouring the biggest crush on you!"

She looks at you expectantly, like she is waiting for your grand enlightenment.

When you stay silent, she urges you on.

"Yes! Every time you insisted he was just teasing you for the fun of it, he was teasing you because he is dying to be your babe, your man, your boo, your one and only! And you never knew! How silly! "

Taehyung and her laugh like they have just told a hilarious inside joke. Meanwhile your throat feels as dry as sandpaper.

"I get that all of this might be a little bit of a shock for you", Taehyung says empathetically. "But is it really? I mean, you must've at least had a suspicion."

Suddenly, laughter of your own begins to splutter from your throat. It makes more noise than you would normally dare to at a soccer game, but you can't seem to stop yourself, no matter how insane you might look.

You feel insane.

With the last waves of laughter ebbing through your body, you catch a single tear from the corner of your eye. "You guys are actually so funny."

That is when Ji-eun and Taehyung's contented expression morphs into one of horror.

"Wait, this is not a joke-"

"Good one", you clap.

Ji-eun looks earnestly panicked. "Dear God, what are we supposed to do with her, Tae?"

The latter drops his head into his hands. "Kill her. I don't care about the consequences anymore."

"It was funny, I'll give you that", you grin at them. "But this was a little too elaborate, even for you."

Taehyung and Ji-eun have never looked at you in such seriousness before.

"We are going to dissect her body very, very slowly", Ji-eun whispers.

"Yeah, me too."

You flinch in surprise at your brother's voice. Your friends' antics had been so distracting that you hadn't even noticed the game ending and Jimin trotting over to where your group was one of the only ones left to lounge around the auditorium.

You cross your arms over your chest. "What did I do this time?"

"Why are you wearing Jungkook's jersey instead of mine?", Jimin questions in turn.

"Oh."

You sheepishly glance down at the 09 imprinted on your shirt. With the words of the previous accusations still ringing in your ears, you can't help but blush a little. It doesn't do you any good that you see Jungkook approaching your group in the corner of your eye.

"Well, he said he was going to buy me ice cream if I did."

"You're lucky this was only a practice game. Saturday in two weeks you better wear mine." Jimin ruffles through your hair. "I need you as my good-luck charm for the real thing."

"Request declined", Jungkook slings an arm around Jimin's shoulder. "She's my good-luck charm. Did you see the goal I just scored?"

"I'm not anyone's good-luck charm", you cross your arms over your chest. "However, I'm a slave to whoever is willing to buy me the most ice cream."

You look between Jimin and Jungkook expectantly, waiting for either of the two to bite your bait.

It doesn't surprise you when Jungkook does at once. "Be my slave. I'll double the amount. Ice cream today and Saturday in two weeks."

The offer seems to convince you easily enough. "Sorry, Jimin. Unless you come up with a better deal you'll have to find another good-luck charm."

You send Jimin an apologetic look, but just as he didn't really care, you weren't really sorry. It was free ice cream, after all.

"This is a date, by the way", Jungkook announces. 

"I hate you two", Jimin grumbles.

Jungkook presses an obnoxious kiss to your brother's cheek. "I love you too, bro."

Jimin rolls his eyes. "Yeah, almost as much as you love __."

You try to hold back the groan threatening to slip from your throat.

Jungkook and Jimin's teasing wasn't anything out of the ordinary but with the very obvious looks that Tae and Ji-eun were sending each other over your shoulder, you suddenly felt weird. Like you weren't quite catching on to something very obvious.

You try to shake the feeling. "Whatever, just change and buy me my ice cream. I don't have all night."

Jungkook complies in seconds, already turning around as he winks. "Will do, busy girl."

"He's whipped", Taehyung mumbles under his breath.

You don't even scold him for dragging out the joke that Jungkook And __ Together was to a point that felt uncomfortable, because you are shortly distracted by Jungkook's thighs as he jogs over the green grass.

Why does he look so incredibly similar to a chicken?, you think to yourself.

"She's whipped", Ji-eun eyes you thoughtfully.

Jimin crosses his arms over his chest. "Fuck them both." 

Your friends' words keep circling around your head as you make Jungkook keep his promise of treating you to ice cream.

He looks a bit different from when you last saw him before he left for college. His brown locks have grown long enough to where he could easily tie them back them if he wanted to, and his once lanky arms are decently muscular now. Not to mention that he has gotten an ungodly amount of tattoos that now prettily adorn his skin. Also, randomly, he has grown into his nose.

In conclusion: There is not a single cell in your body that feels attracted to him.

"Can you believe Tae and Ji-eun actually tried to convince me you had a crush on me today?", you splutter just as he places your chocolate ice cream in front of you.

He freezes. "What?"

"Ridiculous, right?", you laugh with your mouth already full. "I mean, come on! Us? Together? Never in a million years!"

He looks almost dazed and the amused expression on his face resembles a pained grimace. But you are too busy digging into your ice cream to notice.

"Huh", he clears his throat. "No, totally. Haha. Never. How did they even come up with something like that?"

"Don't ask me!", you giggle. "I think they were just bored. You know they despise soccer..."

Internally, Jungkook curses you.

He wanted to scream Your friends are fucking right! I want a tattoo of your face! I've been in love with you since fucking middle school!

But for very obvious reasons he couldn't dare to make his little obsession known to you anytime soon. The most pressing of those reasons was that the mere thought of him liking you seemed to make you laugh.

So instead he had to watch you sit much too far away from him, in his jersey, looking tenfold more delicious than his ice cream and keep doing what he has been best for the last ten years: treat you like something similar to a little sister.

Pine after you quietly and lace his subtle confessions of love with mockery. Hide behind meaningless insults.

"You still eating that?", he asks in the process of pulling your half-eaten bowl of ice cream towards himself. He knows the answer already.

Still, the look of horror on your face is too good to miss out on. "Yes, of-freaking-course I am!"

His heart skips a beat or two when your fingers wrap around his wrist in an attempt to win back your treat. "Give it back, you greedy ass! You have an entire bowl for yourself!"

For good measure he tries to pry your beloved ice cream further towards himself, struggling against your tight grip.

"Jungkook", you whine in response, drawing out the word.

He almost loses his mind at the sound of your voice and decides that it is enough for now. He'll make you touch him again later...

Swiftly, he frees himself from your grip, and gives into the voice in his head that urges him to just go a little bit further.

He tugs the bowl in front of himself and gulps down an obnoxiously big spoon of the treat.

"This is what I get for looking ridiculous in your stupid jersey all afternoon?", you ask in disbelief.

He puffs out his cheeks. "Ridiculous? In my jersey? Such accusations reduce compensation by at least two more spoons."

Across from him, your lips form a pout and consequently, his heart swells to a point that is almost painful. He quickly pushes the bowl back in your direction.

He has to drawn the line somewhere or he might just melt into a puddle by your feet and have you walk all over him without sparing him a second glance. Not that he would mind, really.

"Kidding", he grins belatedly, and you dig back in with a shake of your head.

While he is sure all you think about is your food, all he can think about is how this was an indirect kiss. Has probably happened around one hundred times and didn't mean a thing to you. But he can't take his eyes off the way your lips wrap around the plastic spoon.

The semi in his pants certainly doesn't make him feel any less gross.

God, why did he always turn into such a hormonal mess when he was around you?

Not much later, when Jungkook drops you off in front of your dorm, your phone chimes.

GET THAT abcDefghiJK

Tae added you.

Tae added Ji-eun.

You: don't we already have a group chat?

Tae: indeed, we do Tae: look at the group name though Tae: this a special one

Ji-eun: isn't that right bitch Ji-eun: AND there's rules Ji-eun: first of all Ji-eun: @__ does not get to talk

You: i'm exiting

Ji-eun: NO WAIT

Tae: calm down Tae: she won't actually leave Tae: you know she's all bark no bite

You: i am ALL bark ALL bite you motherfucker

Just to prove your point, you exit the group. Mere seconds later, Taehyung has re-added you.

Tae: be a good pup then, and behave for your owners

Ji-eun: 🤢 ur making me contemplate leaving too

Tae: you know you won't Tae: anyway Tae: let me welcome you officially to "GET THAT abcDefghiJK" Tae: credits to Ji-eun at this point for the creative name

Ji-eun: thank you Ji-eun: for your information Ji-eun: this group is a safe space where tae and i get to talk and you shut up and follow our orders

You: what is all of this about i'm tired You: and why does it feel like i was involuntarily added to some bdsm facebook group

Ji-eun: can you not tell from the title? Ji-eun: gosh, you really keep proving my point Ji-eun: you don't have a single functioning brain cell Ji-eun: should've named the chat "enjoy your last days before i strangle you, dumb bitch"

You: degradation i see You: and choking too You: why are u using ME to live out all your kinky fantasies though

Tae: __ you do NOT Tae: and i repeat DO NOT Tae: get to speak

Ji-eun: !!!!!! Ji-eun: this group is like a pin board of reminders for you Ji-eun: a pin board of reminders that jungkook is dying to get into your panties Ji-eun: view it as a gift

Tae: whenever he makes obvious advances Tae: and you are too enchanted by his sheer presence to see it Tae: expect to receive a notification

You immediately groan. So they hadn't actually been joking then. They really believed Jungkook had some secret crush on you.

You: y'all are ridiculous

Tae has revoked @__'s rights to send messages into GET THAT abcDefghiJK.

Ji-eun: good thing we settled that

Incredulous, you look at your screen. Since when did WhatsApp even have that feature? Knowing Taehyung will put you back in within a heartbeat, there is no point in exiting the group once again either.

Tae: (1 image) Tae: here's some reference for your nightly masturbation sesh

Ji-eun: my god he IS hot Ji-eun: where did you even get that pic from

Tae: well, what can i say not even mr. campus hotshot is resistant to the charms of kim taehyung

Ji-eun: shhh don't make the baby jealous

Tae: don't worry @__ Tae: that pic is actually form his gaming insta that strangely enough only i and one other person have discovered so far Tae: and BEFORE YOU JUDGE ME Tae: i had some in-depth digging to do on __'s behalf

Ji-eun: actually Ji-eun: that other follower of @valorantxjeon is me

Tae: omg YOU BITCH

Ji-eun: we really are the bestest friends ever huh

Tae: SAY IT LOUDER

You subconsciously clench your teeth while watching one ridiculous message after the other pop up on your screen. There's a lot you have to say, namely Can you stop being ridiculous? or You are freaking delusional!, but clearly you don't get to share your opinion.

In truth, your friends' messages made you feel somewhat uncomfortable. Sure you were extremely open with one another and sexuality was never a taboo subject, but this was Jungkook.

To even think of him in a sexual context made shivers run down your spine. The bad kind.

You just hoped they would find some insubstantial campus drama to quench their first for entertainment soon. Because that was obviously all there was to this nonsense.

Or so you thought.

Just the next day, Ji-eun seems like she wants to make it very clear that she was very serious about this.

"Stop denying that he is the hottest human to ever walk this planet-"

"You can't be serious right now! Even at lunch?"

"Even at lunch!", Ji-eun spits. "The denial was maybe cute for a few weeks, but this, my friend, is beyond any sweetness!"

"I'm not in denial! Why do you keep telling me-"

"Because I've had enough! The tension between you and Jungkook is killing everyone."

"What do you mean by everyone?"

Ji-eun looks at you pointedly. "I mean literally everyone. Name any random person on this campus and they will confirm in a heartbeat that you two are this", she makes a gesture with her fingers, "close to kissing romantically. Hell, even my parents pointed out Jungkook was whipped for you after they saw you two at the entrance ceremony."

"They did not! " You are genuinely shocked. "Stop messing with me, it's not funny!"

Ji-eun lets her head fall back, groaning loudly. "How can you be so goddamn oblivious? It's just a matter of time until Jungkook can't take your stupidity anymore and confesses to you for real."

"Who is confessing to who?"

Why did Jimin always have to appear at the most inconvenient of moments? He didn't even deign hang out with you and your friends that often.

"None of your business!", you hastily rush out before either Ji-eun or Taehyung get the chance to share their crazy theories.

Jimin merely shrugs, letting the subject drop easily. Though you two were close, he wasn't usually interested in the gossip that you shared with your friends.

You are about to ask him about the call with your grandma you were planning for this afternoon, but he doesn't stay put for long enough.

With a powerful hit of his knee into Jimin's back, Jungkook effectively pushes your brother out of the way.

Of course the man of the hour would trail behind your brother like a lost puppy. And of course he would act in a way that would only encourage your friends further in their conspiracies.

"Ow, you idiot-"

"Make some space", is the only thing Jungkook says to Jimin, as he slides into the seat next to you. The fact that he almost shoves your brother off of the bench in the process is something that he blissfully ignores.

"Good morning", he cheers into your ears instead. "Isn't it such a nice day? I love spring."

"God, you are so loud", you press your hand over your ear.

"Just happy to see you", he smiles at you widely.

Jimin smacks him across the back of his head at that. "Stop perving, Jungkook."

At the same time you hear a string of dings coming from your phone that you try your best to ignore.

You really should've muted that damn group chat.

"You still eating that?", Jungkook asks completely ignorant, enthusiastically scanning the half-eaten burger that is sitting on your plate.

It looks less than appetising by now but as soon as you push the plate towards Jungkook he digs in without hesitation.

"Why do you always steal my food?"

Jungkook couldn't tell you the truth, which was something along the lines of I just want to share everything with you so that there are no lines between what is mine and what is yours anymore. That way you would also be mine.

So he shrugs his shoulders instead. "I haven't eaten since breakfast."

"It's only 11:30", you remind him, making a disgusted face at the way he devours the burger.

"So what? How do you think I build up all these muscles", he flexes his biceps in your face for a second. "It's all for the gains, babe."

"Don't say that ever again", you huff.

Jungkook mischievously smiles at you in response with a little bit of barbecue sauce dripping from the corner of his mouth. "Why, 'cause you like it too much?"

"No, because it makes me want to vomit."

"Oh, okay. Anyway. When are we hanging out next?", he moves on rather quickly.

"How about Thursday night? We still have to finish The Shining since someone decided to ruin it for us last time by starting to cry", Taehyung suggests, fixing Ji-eun in the process.

"You can't just not invite me, that's-", Ji-eun starts, offended, but she is interrupted by Jungkook midway.

"In fact, none of you losers are invited." To your horror, he pulls you closer against his side until your thighs are held flush against his next. "I meant __ and I."

"Of course, you meant __ and you", Ji-eun shakes her head in resignation.

God. You really had to convince Ji-eun and Tae that Jungkook couldn't be less interested in you. But Jungkook wasn't exactly making things easy for you.

"Sure, Jungkook, keep dreaming." You make it a point to sound as revoked as possible at his suggestion.

"Gleefully so", Jungkook grins, not without stuffing the last few fries on the plate into his mouth.

As expected, another set of dings interrupts the peace of this beautiful sunny morning.

Noticing the way you wince at the sound, Jimin curiously tries to pry your phone out of your hands. "Who is tha-"

"No one!", you shout a tad too quickly. "Probably just the chat for uh... my chemistry project."

He seems unconvinced. "Do you have a boyfriend?"

Suddenly, you have to hold your breath. The reason being the way Jungkook stiffens beside you at your brother's question.

You shake your head at yourself. Tae and Ji-eun have made you paranoid!

"No!", you deny vehemently. "Not that it would be any of your business anyway."

Jimin seems disinterred to push any further, complaining about his horrible advanced mathematics professor instead.

Your gaze automatically wanders to Jungkook who is burning holes into the side of your head. You raise an eyebrow in question and he shakes his head and gulps down the last bite of the burger.

The same uneasy feeling of missing something that is right in front of you settles into your stomach and for the hundredth time today you curse your friends for planting weird ideas in your head.

Later, you absentmindedly scroll through all of the ignored text messages in your group chat, which are a lot. You decide not to pay them too much mind.

Each one is more infuriating than the previous anyway, the last ones being a dialogue about you clarifying that you didn't have a boyfriend earlier.

Tae: look at him chewing all satisfied

Ji-eun: right lolll he looked so scared for a second Ji-eun: don't you see what you are doing to him __??????

Tae: hahhhh young love

Ji-eun: makes people go fucking dumb

Ever since that morning, you have become painfully aware of every single move Jungkook makes around you and thoughts of doubt have been swirling around your head non-stop.

These unwelcome thoughts are only fortified by the fact that Taehyung and Ji-eun use every chance they get to point out Jungkook's supposedly "telling" behaviour and your phone dings approximately every two seconds.

Every word and gesture you would have deemed innocent only two days ago makes you doubt your entire existence now, only because your friends have nothing better to do than try to convince you of something that is clearly nothing but a manifestation of their boredom.

Although you still don't think their nonsense has any truth to it, you can't stop your heartbeat from picking up when Jungkook is around you lately.

It isn't really a matter of getting flustered by the idea of Jungkook liking you, it's more that you are beginning to get scared he might actually be so horrendous at expressing his feelings that any of the following events could be taken as more than him trying to annoy you:

Tuesday, when you were planning your next trip back home with Jimin, he randomly snuck up behind you and started braiding your hair, resulting in a nest on your head. When he cackled and took pictures of you glaring at him you suddenly heard Ji-eun's voice in your head, scolding you. Can't you see, he is doing this only to find some way to touch you?

That same night he sent you a picture of him and you when you were around 10 years old. It was the most awkward image you had ever laid your eyes on. Jungkook was two heads taller than you, showing off his bunny teeth in a wide smile, arm thrown loosely around your shoulder. You stood beside him in shirt that said It's a tea-shirt, your self-made pigtails painfully asymmetrical and your knees cut open and bruised form the many times you used to crash your bicycle.

You had interpreted this random message as him trying to remind you of your questionable fashion choices when you were younger until some more texts popped up on your screen.

Jungkook: remember this day? Jungkook: you crashed your bike into my basketball basket

You: yeah you cried and told on me to your mom You: also you were TWELVE when that happened You: such a baby

Jungkook: LIAR Jungkook: i was nine at most Jungkook: and i remember you feeling so guilty that you baked me cookies and begged me for forgiveness for days

You: pfft begged for forgiveness in your dreams

Jungkook: want to know something? Jungkook: those cookies sucked ass Jungkook: tasted like actual grass Jungkook: bet u didn't wash your hands you nasty fucker Jungkook: but i pretended i liked em cause i was convinced we were going to get married one day

Your breath caught in your throat. He was what?

When you took a second too long to respond, Jungkook started typing again.

Jungkook: haha Jungkook: until i hit puberty two months later and realised i was TERRIBLY mistaken

You sighed out the breath you hadn't realised realise you were holding.

You: don't lie, you didn't hit puberty until you were like 17

It's only a day later when he sends you an up-close picture of his nostrils with the words daddy misses u that you regain a little confidence in his flirting abilities. He couldn't be flirting. There was simply no way.

No way he was trying to show genuine infatuation when he leaned in and bent over the popsicle between your fingers in the library a few days later. Licking and winking. Moaning a little too loud. Panic took hold of you, and looking around frantically, you clasped your hand over his mouth. And he licked that too. No way.

Or was there? These thoughts have been keeping you up night after night, and sometimes, in the dark of your bedroom, you allow your mind to wander to the what-ifs.

They are a thoroughly dangerous territory since you usually end up cursing yourself by the time you consider one of the following:

What if your friends were right and Jungkook really had a crush on you? What if the thundering in your chest when he was around meant you had a crush on him yourself? And worst: What if he didn't have a crush on you, but you were slowly starting to fall for him?

Be it as it may, you weren't going to find out any time soon because you were a Little Bitch and wouldn't ask him over your dead body.

Am I going crazy, or do you actually want to play with my hair, and kiss my forehead, and wander off into the sunset with me?

Yeah, no. Not going to happen.

It is a Sunday afternoon which means you are over at Jimin's apartment making use of the fact that your brother is always two steps ahead of you. Two years older, entered university two years earlier, lives in an off-campus apartment and has his own kitchen.

You hum to yourself, content with your brother's financial superiority as you chop up parsley and tomatoes for the pasta you are making.

You love cooking and the fact that Jimin's roommates were usually all buried in long overdue homework or out of the apartment at this time of the weekend ensured that you had this beautiful, shiny kitchen all to yourself.

Today is especially nice because the apartment's completely empty. Well, that is except for Min Yoongi, one of Jimin's roommates that you really don't know much about. But he has been fast asleep for over forty minutes now.

That is why it is all the more startling when your peace and quiet is interrupted by the loud rattle of the front door. A moment later Jungkook steps into the kitchen, panting like he has just run a marathon.

Your mouth drops open. His entrance was truly... uncharacteristic. Did he look... incredibly good?

"Oh hi, __", he greets you, out of breath, and not at all surprised by your presence.

You being here on Sundays was not unusual, after all. What was unusual was Jungkook being here on Sundays. What was even more unusual was him being here shirtless, with his hair soaked in sweat.

You avert your gaze immediately. "What are you doing here?"

You almost wince at how offended you sound about him standing in his own kitchen.

"Uhm, I live here?", he answers matter-of-factly while opening the fridge for some water.

"Yeah, but it's Sunday and you are shirtless!", you accuse as if he has broken the rules. Which he had, in fact.

It takes a while for Jungkook to respond because he is busy leaning his head back to down an entire bottle of water in mere seconds. You can't help but gawk at the veins on his neck.

"What are you, a tank?", you complain at the risk of looking too hard.

He either doesn't hear you because of how loudly he is crushing the plastic bottle between his fingers or he is simply choosing to ignore you to ignore you.

"Well, I'm usually at the gym on Sundays but since the weather is so nice I decided to go on a run around the neighbourhood", he explains. "I have been sore for days now, so a full-blown workout session might've been a little too enthusiastic anyway. Coach has really been having it out for us."

Your brain shortcuts.

Jungkook. Sore. Muscles. Workout.

The reason behind your jumbled thoughts seems to be completely oblivious to your perplexity.

All Jungkook does is curiously lean forward to look over your shoulder. "What are you cooking?"

Why was he not freaking out? And since when was it okay for him to put his naked upper body so close to yours?

In an attempt to get some distance between the two of you, you shush him away with a kitchen towel. "Cooking, obviously. Go take a shower, Jungkook. You reek!"

He wipes away a few strands that had been sticking to his forehead. "I recently got a new tattoo."

"What? Don't change the subject!", you narrow your eyes at him, annoyed at how he was still standing there shirtless.

The only reason it bothered you so much was because Sundays were supposed to be relaxing and serene. A day of God. Not a day filled with your chest tightening at Jungkook's abs.

Not that you were religious.

"Yes, look", Jungkook holds your gaze before slowly letting it drop down onto his crotch. Then he takes it back up to you and licks his lips.

He was doing this on purpose!

"Yeah, sure, Jungkook!", you are about to turn away, thinking his not-so-subtle indication of a tattoo by his private area was complete nonsense. A tactic to drive you out of your mind, nothing new.

That is until he pushes the seam of his black shorts up towards his stomach.

To your surprise, he was not just messing with you. Part of his thigh is freshly inked. Though you couldn't see all of his tattoo because a large portion of the lines and shading disappear under his boxers.

Maybe you were religious.

And like a true saint, you flush a deep shade of red at the sight in front of you. "Why the hell are you showing me this? Are you not embarrassed?"

"Why should I be? As my friend you have to know every single detail about my body", he leans back against the counter, letting the seam of his shorts drop back into place.

"Why should you be embarrassed? It's a fucking anime tattoo! It's nerdy as shit and also I don't have or for that matter want to know anything about your bo-"

"Don't try to tell me I didn't catch you looking at hentai when you were fourteen."

Your breath gets stuck in your throat. Why would he bring that up? He has never brought that up! Not once.

"What is wrong with you?", you shriek. "And what does that even have to do with anything? Anime and hentai are two entirely different categories of animation and- and why the hell are you here on a Sunday, go shower you insufferable, little shi-"

He reaches behind you, almost touching his body to yours in the process and you freeze once again. Whatever it was that he was trying to get (and you aren't convinced there even was anything to get) he doesn't, because you push him away so forcefully that he stumbles back a few steps.

At this point, you feel like screaming.

Jungkook on the other hand appears as unfazed as ever. He only giggles at your obvious bashfulness. "Okay, okay, I'll go take a shower."

True to his words, he disappears... Not without dramatically combing his fingers through his hair as he turns.

Fuck him.

Minutes later, as you stir the pasta in a daze, realisation sets in. You just thought Jungkook was... hot? You definitely just thought Jungkook was hot.

You almost have a panic attack on the spot. 

You just found Jungkook so hot you got all shy and awkward!

Frantically, you check your period tracker. It must be a hormonal imbalance.

You huff out a relieved sigh. You aren't exactly sure how to correctly interpret each part of the female cycle but one look at the app seems to confirm that there was nothing to this but hormones.

Only the fact that he was conventionally attractive and he was shirtless and had muscles and had tattoos and had long hair and had pretty eyes and had veiny arms and was sweaty which meant IT WAS ALL BECAUSE OF THE PHEROMONES!

This also explains the way you weirdly want to crawl into his arms when he settles down on the couch fifteen minutes later, starting up a game of Minecraft on the living-room television.

You try your best to focus on the pasta boiling in front of you but every two seconds your eyes involuntarily wander to Jungkook. It's not fair! Why did he have to appear exactly the day it was least convenient because of your biological likeliness to find him sexy as fuck?

He shouldn't have worn that shirt, also. It's a basic white t-shirt, the kind that every single member of the human race owns and that does absolutely nothing to accentuate his body or skin tone and so he looks out of this world in it.

So cozy and cute and comfortable.

Could he have worn anything less flattering?

After two minutes of intensely staring at his side profile your entire body is hot and your brain is in shambles and you can't blame it on the steam coming from the pots on the stove.

You need to put a stop to this.

"Jungkook, I'm sorry, but you cannot be here any longer."

"Huh?"

"You have to leave. As soon as you can."

The corners of his mouth twitch. "Why exactly? Are you afraid I'll eat your pasta?"

You can't come up with a reason that doesn't sound as ridiculous as I just saw you shirtless and now I don't know how to act because you're hot (maybe?) and the last few days I've been feeling weird about you and now I am scared shitless!

"No, just because", you put your hands on your hips. "... I am here on Sundays!"

"You do realise that this is my apartment, right?", he deadpans.

He has a point. "Yes, but-"

"I'll just help you", he decides and gets up.

"What? No! That's not at all-"

"Shh~", he presses a finger to his lips and you are inclined to strangle him.

Even though the kitchen is marvellous it isn't exactly huge, and being in such close proximity to Jungkook is the exact opposite of what you needed right now in order to keep your sanity intact.

"I'm a good cook, trust me."

He is indeed not a good cook at all.

After only five minutes, the kitchen looks like a mess as a consequence of his attempt at opening a can of chopped tomatoes with a pair of scissors. Most of the contents have landed in your hair and you are now holding the scissors against this chest.

"I swear to God, Jungkook, if you don't leave this room right now, I'm going to sta-"

"What the fuck is all of this noise about?"

Blinded by fury, you didn't even notice the door to Min Yoongi's room opening and him peeking out with his eyes closed to slits that replicate your own.

"She is trying to murder me, Yoongi!", Jungkook accuses and you muse that he genuinely looks scared, grabbing the counter behind him with white knuckles. Good.

Sheepishly, you tug the scissors behind your back. "He is interrupting my peaceful afternoon. I am only-"

"Why is there tomato in your hair?", Yoongi grumbles. "Why is there tomato all over the fucking kitchen?"

Then he looks at Jungkook like a dad who is scolding his son. And he does exactly that. Scold him. Only that he is cussing like a drunk sailor.

"You jackass. Could you be any more of a fucking idiot? You're trying to get her to like you, not spill fucking canned tomatoes over her head!"

Your mouth drops open. The reason being that even Min Yoongi thinks Jungkook has some sort of secret motive to try and get you to like him.

"Sit down, kids. I'll take care of this mess", Yoongi shoos you out of the dirty kitchen before you have time to think. "Actually, go clean __'s hair, Jungkook. And try not to be a dick for once."

You glare at Jungkook the entire 10 minutes he takes to fish each read clump out of your hair with an apologetic yet amused look on his face.

"Stop smiling, asshole."

"Your hair is so pretty", he sighs dreamily, paying you no mind.

"Why are you always so-"

"Did you notice I finished cleaning it up like 5 minutes ago?"

"What? Then why in the world-"

"You've always liked it when I play with your hair."

You open your mouth to protest, but he cuts you right off.

"Nuh-uh, don't say a thing. I just saw you close your eyes for a good thirty seconds."

"Pfft", you feign ignorance, too proud to admit that he is right. "Only because I can't stand looking at your ugly face."

"Whatever you say, sweet cheeks."

He runs his fingers over your scalp once again. Accidentally, you shudder. And he looks. Very closely.

He abruptly gets up, coughing awkwardly.

"You should probably take a shower. I can't get rid of this shit without water."

Before you have time to protest, he has closed the door behind himself, shouting through the thin barrier. "I'll leave some clothes in front of the bathroom for you."

For the next few minutes, you try to burn away the memory of Jungkook's fingers in your hair with an excruciatingly hot shower. It works semi-well, considering you now do not only feel hot on the outside but also on the inside.

When you step out into the living room in Jungkook's clothes, the hot feeling inside your chest spreads out all the way to the pit of your stomach.

His eyes fall on you and widen.

In place of the stupid comment that you half-expected, all he does is scan you with his bottom lip tugged away beneath his teeth.

From your wet hair to your toes in his white socks you're all covered in him, he thinks.

His shampoo, his clothes, the traces of his fingertips. His, his, his. How can he blur the lines further and make it ours? And why is his brain suddenly working like that of a dog trying to mark its territory?

Yoongi finally breaks the spell with a not-so-subtle step on Jungkook's foot. "Let's eat, children."

Then, and you aren't sure whether you only imagine it, he mumbles under his breath. "Before he loses his shit entirely."

The dinner is simultaneously uneventful and surprising. It is uneventful because Yoongi and you both clearly aren't the type of person to make conversation with a stranger and Jungkook is oddly quiet for once.

It is also surprising because Yoongi is an outstandingly great cook. Personally, you had taken him more for the type to eat old cigarettes out of a metal ashtray. Never judge a book by its cover, you guess.

Jungkook for his part is feeling all warm and fuzzy. The light is igniting your face from behind and you look closer to the angel he knows you are. For a bonus, you are letting your hair air dry, and he gets to see it in its natural, messy state which is an unusual occurrence.

When he looks at you like this all he can think is that he wants to have you close so badly.

He knows it's not right because you are so incredibly out of his league, so far out of his reach, he shouldn't even dare to outstretch his hands.

You are beautiful in a way that goes beyond his ability to fully fathom.

But ever so often, the fundamentals of the idea that lie behind Your Beauty scratch the surfaces of his understanding. That's when he gets a taste of something that is almost too much for him to stomach.

That way he also knows he doesn't deserve to even think of you.

But he is weaker than some held him accountable for. He couldn't stop himself from letting his mind wander to places he knows will drive him downright psychotic. At night when he wraps his hand around himself or right now when his shirt falls down your shoulder and exposes a strip of your neck and he wants to pull you down onto the couch in the living room, hidden away beneath him, and kiss you stupid.

He doesn't fantasise about things that go beyond innocent most of the time. His dreams largely consist of little pecks and sweet nothings whispered into your skin. Him carefully caressing your skin. Your smile directed at him, and only him.

If he could choose one dream of his to come true it would not be that you allowed him to do these things with you.

That couldn't possibly be enough, no.

If he could choose one dream of his to come true, it would be that you wanted him to do these things with you too.

How sweet would it be to have you want to whisper to him, fuck him, smile at him and only him?

But the universe has a funny way of pointing out in bright colours that you liking him back was about as likely as him getting over you. Fucking perfect.

"Somebody care to explain to me what the heck is going on here?", Jimin aggressively throws the door of the apartment shut behind him.

Jungkook startles out of his trance-like state soon enough to see you looking up at your brother with raised eyebrows.  "Sorry that we ate without you?"

"Yes, I am also terribly sorry that my little sister and my best friend are having a fucking candlelight dinner without me", Jimin stumps across the floor, not bothering to take his shoes off and pulls Jungkook up by the back of his shirt. "I'm even more sorry that my sister is wearing my idiot best friend's clothes."

You swallow hard. Where the fuck had Yoongi gone? And when had he lit those candles?

"This is not what it looks like, I swear!"

At the same time, Jungkook punches Jimin in the stomach. "Better get used to it, motherfucker."

Why did he always have to nullify your efforts?

You shoot him an exasperated look and he swears you are so hot, but oh so cruel.

It's a Friday night when Jungkook realizes that, once again, he is royally fucked.

The night had started out innocently enough. Practice had been going well and after he had broken a good sweat Jayden offered him some of the good weed in the locker room, which of course he didn't deny.

He wasn't an idiot.

So he got high with some of his teammates. High as fuck, actually. And it had been great. All fun and dandy.

Until he entered that damned Italian restaurant.

Just as his luck had it, you and your group of friends had also decided to enjoy the fine dining services offered at El Torero that very evening. (The fact that this Italian restaurant had a Spanish name also really messed him up.)

Which wouldn't have been as tragic as he made it out to be if you weren't so pretty.

Which also wouldn't have been as tragic, if he could go through with his plan of pretending he didn't notice your presence.

But Jimin spotted you right away and loudly greeted you across the restaurant, his teammates following suit and before he knew what was happening to him he was cramped into a tiny booth with way too many people and you way too close.

And so he had to watch you, high as a kite.

The problem there should be obvious.

"Mine would be Antarctica", you announce on the topic of dream travel destinations. 

"Antarctica? Are you crazy?", Jayden looks at you like you have two heads.

"Why not?", you retort. "Seeing penguins in the wild is at the very top of my bucket list and besides I imagine it to be so cozy. It would be freezing cold outside but you would still go on little adventures every day. Adventures like seeing penguins in the wild. And then the rest of time you get to spend inside the cruise ship with your travel buddies."

Your eyes sparkle enthusiastically as you imagine yourself somewhere far across the ocean.

Jungkook stares at the side of your head, so obsessed.

If only he knew more about the subjects that you were passionate about so he could talk to you about them and get a taste of how magnificent your brain truly was. He wanted to take a look deep inside of it only to find he was an insignificant scumbag by comparison.

Maybe you would realise soon enough just how inferior he truly was, and being the generous soul that you were, you would take pity on him. Then you would sit him down and explain to him exactly how the world worked. Maybe, he would be able to see what you see afterward. How much more colourful would the world be then?

He imagines it would be like turning the brightness of his phone screen up at night.

"What about you, Jungkook?"

He is so caught off guard by the question, his eyes take a while to make out who even addressed him.

Ji-eun looks at him expectantly from across the table.

"Huh? What?", he asks dumbly. 

"Your dream travel destination", Taehyung helps him out.

"Oh", Jungkook's mind is as blank as an empty sheet of paper. "Antarctica?"

Jungkook winces as Jimin throws a cold fry at him. "Stop being in love with my sister!"

Jungkook kicks Jimin under the table as he fishes the fry out of his hair. "Then have a less perfect sister."

You lean your head on Taehyung's shoulder, looking somewhat bored by the conversation.

Little does Jungkook know, you are currently wishing death upon him on the inside.

You felt like he was making fun of you with his constant teasing. While you were slowly starting to like (?) him more an more he made a literal joke out of flirting with you.

All the while, Jungkook is praying to God that he might be granted the opportunity to spontaneously reincarnate as Kim Taehyung. Jungkook wanted your shoulder resting on him. 

"We should go together for our honeymoon, Kook", you decide to tease back. Maybe you playing along with Jungkook's little games would help your subconscious realize that this was all you would ever be to Jungkook. A game.

Jungkook marbles at the nickname, has to consciously fight the urge to shudder at the way it rolls off your lips. Somehow, it sounded almost like an insult but he doesn't really care. 

"Stop being in love with me, __", he mimics Jimin's words form earlier and you roll your eyes so hard they almost get stuck. 

The conversation quickly moves along after that but Jungkook has happily drifted off, completely engrossed by your presence. 

He absolutely loves the way your lips move when you talk. You are so smart and outspoken and-

"Shit", he curses under his breath, barely audible.

Jayden smirks, having watched him with great amusement this entire time. "What was that, Kook?"

"Nothing. I-", Jungkook coughs. "I totally forgot. Haha. I have an assignment to hand in 'till twelve."

Jungkook flees. There is no other option, really. It is either rushing out of the restaurant like he is being chased by a heard of mammoths or flashing the hard-on that would soon form in his pants at the entire restaurant.

As soon as he has locked the doors of his car behind him, his head lands on a steering wheel with a loud thump. He sighs in a mixture of embarrassment and frustration.

How much longer could he stand living like this?

Jungkook felt like he was slowly but surely reaching his breaking point. Being so close to you, yet unable to be with you in the way he desired so badly quite literally drove him insane.

It made him act like a love-sick, hormone-driven idiot. It messed him up to the point where he couldn't be in the same room as you anymore and had to cowardly hide in his car instead.

The painful throbbing of his cock makes Jungkook chuckles at himself.

Was he really going to do this? Drive off and jerk off to the thought of you? Just how much more pathetic could he get?

When he experimentally wraps his fingers around the base of his cock, his grip is so tight that it hurts.

And it should. He deserved the pain if he was really going to go through with this.

And he knew, he just knew, he was. There was simply no way he could resist. 

So he hits the pedal and tries to focus on the road. It would be the literal epitome of humiliating if he caused an accident right now.

A few minutes later he comes to a halt on the side of a quiet road. Thinks the spot fits the whole vibe of What the fuck is wrong with you? quite excellently. 

And then he hands himself over to a deeply familiar and well-practiced process.

Even after all these years, it's still the same as when he was alone at night in his bedroom at fourteen years old. And though he finds the way it all unfolds almost comical, it doesn't get any less exciting.

The guilt always sets in first. He thinks self-deprecating thoughts like how he shouldn't do this, shouldn't want you.

At the same time, the rubbing on his cock is so frantic that his hand clashes against the steering wheel several times and each time he gets more embarrassed.

What would you say if you saw him like this? All desperate and brain-dead because you made him so?

He doesn't even want to know. You would probably be spooked.

Another habit that had formed years ago when there was nothing but thin walls separating your houses, was that he wouldn't dare to let your name slip past his lips. When he was younger he feared that if he whispered it just a tad too loudly, the wind would carry the sound to your window.

Somehow that fear had endured until now, where he was scared that even across the many miles that separated you, you would hear his quiet pleading and come to laugh right at his face.

But he couldn't help himself tonight.

"__", he sighs as softly as he can and tries to take it back the next second. Can't. "Fuck. Fuck."

Jungkook has to stop for a moment, his wrist hurting and heart pounding.

The effect of the weed has started to wear off a while ago but now he is on a different kind of drug. Now he is high on the thought of you.

That drug does him so well that his fingers wander back down to his cock almost automatically to toy with it. So well that his head sinks back against the headrest.

In a different universe where you met under different circumstances, would you be here with him, your hands stroking his thighs encouragingly?

God, he would love for you to watch. Just sit beside him in the passenger seat and tell him he was doing good. He would be so good for you, he swore.

After that, it doesn't take long until he is gently rocking up into his own hand, all energy having left his body and releases straight into it to the thought of your eyes on him.

Attention-whore, he scoffs at himself while wiping his hands in the dark fabric of his jeans.

You stare at the back of your classmate's head, the voice of your professor but a background noise. 

Jungkook And __ Together was anything but a joke to you anymore. Only that you couldn't quite grasp the idea that lay behind it.

Did Jungkook And __ Together mean the very thing it implied?

Did Jungkook like you? Did you like Jungkook? Did you like each other? Were you beginning to like him in ways that were very different to the sisterly affection you felt for him before?

You try to shoo the stupid boy with his stupidly fluffy hair and stupidly glowy skin out of your thoughts.

Only to spontaneously remember the way he looked that Sunday, sitting on the couch freshly showered. 

God, you had to focus!

And not on Jungkook's thigh-tattoo replaying over and over again in the mental cinema that has been your mind for the past week.

✧ author's note

thank you for reading! i hope u enjoyed. in any case lmk your thoughts if you the have time to share bc i'm desperately trying to get better at this whole thing. btw im alr working on chapter 2 but it'll probably take at least a few more weeks until it is ready to post. in the meantime let's all enjoy spring! hope u have a great time and plenty sunny days!

✧ comments, likes, reblogs and asks are greatly appreciated.

✧ series master list ✧ chapter II

© hanniwrites; 2023

Illicit Favors | MYG | Oneshot

Pair: Min Yoongi x f!reader 

Summary: When your editor tells you to re-write the chapters of your book because the sex scenes are weak, suggesting you write them from experience, what do you do when you lack any kind of sexual experiences in general? You go to your friend and ask him for help with it.

Genre: ONESHOT. Fluff, tiny angst, smut, non idol au. Friends to Lovers. 

Warnings: Producer Yoongi, virgin and inexperienced reader, teaching-sex au. From Yoongi’s POV. Yoongi is relatable and slightly overthinks and is a little socially awkward, but he’s whipped for her and cute as fuck. There’s lots of smut in this. Long hair Yoongi. Side pairing Jikook. Some text messages edited, but not a smau. 

A/N: Happy birthday to our favorite cat boy! The love of our lives, the man who gets proposals on the daily! 

WC: 29k.

MAIN MASTERLIST I If you want another Yoongi Oneshot

SEPTEMBER 18TH | 19:35

Ever since Yoongi met you at a coffee shop four years ago, when you simply asked him to look after your computer while you used the bathroom, coming back with an orange muffin for him as a ‘thank you’, visiting him in the studio wasn’t a rare feature in itself for you. But Yoongi knew those eyes. 

Even in emoji form, the pleading, puppy-kitty eyes told him you wanted something from him. And, chances were, you’d get it. No matter what it was. From picking you up in the middle of the night because you were craving convenience store corn dogs, to going to the bulk supermarket with you once a month because the prices were better and he could reach things you simply could not. 

It didn’t help that he had a spring in his step as he got up from his rolling chair and walked to the door of his production studio, quickly typing out the code that unlocked it. And there you were, standing in the slightly dark hallway, heavy backpack thrown precariously over a shoulder –even if he always told you to put on both straps, lest your back get crooked–, a pout on your lips and the perfect copy of the aforementioned pleading eye emoji. 

You were already stepping out of your shoes, knowing Yoongi didn’t like them inside his space, and throwing your arms around his middle as you hid your face on his chest. Now that wasn’t a common occurrence at all. Yoongi didn’t like people in his personal space, a fact you very much knew and respected. Then again, you weren’t just people. 

“What happened?” he asked, arms wrapping around your smaller frame almost instantly, resisting the urge to sniff the top of your head.

“Kibhamun.” was your muffled reply, making him chuckle. 

“What was that?”

“Kim Namjoon.” you corrected, pulling away from him to step into the studio properly, placing your bag on the floor as you dropped to his couch. 

Ah, yes, Kim Namjoon. 

Yoongi’s best friend, the chairman of a family run publishing company. 

Call it nepotism, but Yoongi had introduced the two of you and put in a good word for you, so that his dongsaeng would read your manuscript; the one you had been working on on that fateful day at the coffee shop. To this day, Yoongi still insisted you got a publishing contract –and now had three books out in bookstores of South Korea– all on your own. 

Namjoon took every opportunity to tease Yoongi about his obvious crush on you, which was a small price to pay for not only the friendship that blossomed between you and Joon, but for the fact you were able to kickstart your career as a writer. 

“I'm trashing my book.” you said with the jutting out of your bottom lip, folding your arms on your chest and your legs under you. 

“What–why? You were so excited to hand in the new chapters last week.” Yoongi sat down on the couch beside you, with one seat cushion still between you. His brows were knitted together as he wondered just how wrong your meeting with your editor had gone down this afternoon. 

“Yes, but your best friend changed that.” you grumbled with a tiny shrug of your shoulders, leaning sideways against the couch to lay your head on the backrest. 

With a sigh and the tilting of his head to mimic yours, Yoongi asked: “What did he do now?”

“He said my new chapters are shit.”

“He did not say that.” Yoongi reasoned. 

He was the blunt one of the two, there’s no way Namjoon would ever say something of that nature to you. If your chapters were bad, he’d give you pointers and ways of making them better. But you were resolute. 

“Not with so many words, but the sentiment was there!” you complained with a pretty pout that made Yoongi’s gaze flit to your plump lips. 

“What happened, doll?” he asked, a little softer, knowing how to work you into telling him what really happened. 

You sighed dramatically, back straightening as you looked down to your hands on your lap. Yoongi followed the movement, watching how you fiddled with the ring on your middle finger of your left hand; it had belonged to your grandma once, he knew, and you always wore it when you needed that little extra pick-me-up. 

“Apparently I can't write smut.” you told him so quietly he barely heard you. 

Your new book, the one you’ve been working on for the past three months, had adult scenes in it. Not necessary essential to the plot but not gratuitous fucking either. Just something to spice it up, to open up to a different market. You were never scared of trying something new and Yoongi admired that. 

Yoongi himself was the kind of person that never even changed his coffee order, sticking to it forever when he found the one he liked. You were brave and adventurous, while Yoongi liked his routine and comfort zone.   

“What makes you say that?” he asked you once you didn’t elaborate. 

“Joon said I got many things wrong. I believe his exact words were 'it doesn't happen like that, that's not how it tastes, or how it feels’–” you said with a roll of your eyes, which made Yoongi bite back a chuckle. But then your fire was aimed at him: “You've read the chapters! Why didn't you tell me it was shit?!”

“It wasn't shit–”

How could he tell you the reason he didn't notice some things were off was because when reading your smut, all he could do was picture you? And him. In the various situations you wrote in rich descriptions. Like a fucking creep, he got off to his friend's writing.

“Yeah, well, I'm a fraud.” 

“You're not a fraud, doll.” the pet name he had for you came out a lot more natural now than the first few times he blurted them out on slips of the tongue, but it still made his neck flush. 

“No, no, Joon is right. I know he wasn't trying to hurt me, and I don't want to publish something bad either.” you insisted, quieting the fidgeting of your hands after turning the ring on your finger a few times. “Just... he said I should write from experience.”

“Oh. Yeah, that usually helps when writing lyrics, too.”

Yoongi felt cold sweat clinging to his back as he wouldn’t want to read about your sex adventures, if you started writing about them in your new book. Some of the things you wrote about were pretty wild, Yoongi could only imagine what you were up to in your private life. You never really told him about it, but he guessed it was something you shared with your girlfriends. Or Jimin. Not with him.

“That’s the problem.” again, you spoke too quietly. “I don't have them.”

“Don’t have what?” he asked with the nervous nibbling on the inside of his bottom lip. 

“The experiences to write about.” you supplied with a small grit of your teeth, as if you were pretending you weren’t the one saying those words. 

“Sure you do. I'm sure you can change a few things to make it fit the plot–”

“No, Yoon.” you interrupted, crestfallen, rubbing your hands on your thighs in what should be a self soothing manner. “I haven't... Done anything.”

The weight of those news was shocking to him, but Yoongi tried not to let it show in his face. He watched you for a while, too, trying to decide if you were joking or trying to pull one on him, but your pink cheeks of embarrassment were too real and you weren’t that good of an actress. 

It just didn’t really make sense to him. You were a few years younger than him, but not by much, and you were so pretty and clearly attractive. Whenever he agreed to go to a night out with your group –most likely being dragged out by a lying Hoseok that told him it would be chill– guys hit on you all the time, much to his own chagrin.

“Ever?” Yoongi hushed with a frown. This whole conversation had his forehead hurting from how confused he was. 

“Ever.” you shook your head, a stray piece of hair moving out of place and Yoongi’s fingers flexed in want to fix it. “I'm not ashamed of it, okay? I'm also not saving myself for marriage or anything. I just never had a boyfriend and I didn't want to just hook up with a stranger for a night.”

“Yeah, no, that's... dangerous.” he agreed with a single nod of his own. 

“Mhm! I mean, I thought that would happen with Jungkook the night we met. He was nice enough and just my type.” you said, not meaning much by it, but damn if it didn’t feel like a punch in the gut. Ouch. “But he turned out to be gay and only chatted with me to get to Jimin.”

“Yeah, I remember that.” Yoongi was there the night Jungkook showed up in their lives and would later become part of their small group and subsequently Jimin’s boyfriend. 

“I don't know what to do, Yoon. I had so many hopes and plans for this book!” you cried, a hand running through your hair in frustration.

“I know, maybe... maybe you should read more smut? To be able to write it better?” he tried, but it only made you huff. 

“If you look at my search history you'll think I’m a sex addict that should get an intervention.” you shook your head. “I’ve read it all.” 

“Didn't Joon give you some advice? Isn't that his job as your editor?”

Yoongi might need to have a chat with his bestie, as his job was to help you out, not leave you feeling lost and defeated. Yoongi knew first hand how happy you were with your latest project, all of the twists and turns you had planned for it. And here you were, sulking on his couch, questioning whether or not you should throw it out. 

“He did, and I'm starting to think he's right.” you said, and it gave Yoongi a glimmer of hope, giving up on scolding Namjoon. At least for now. 

“There we go, what did he say?”

“He said that if I don't have any experiences to write about, then I should create some.” you avoided Yoongi's eyes as you said it, which didn’t help his choking on air. 

“He said what–”

“It makes sense.” you insisted, gathering your courage to finally look at him. 

“It does not– you can't possibly think that going out to find someone random to be your first is a good idea!” Yoongi couldn’t help how worked up he was getting over this. The mere hypothesis of you getting out there to find someone to lose your virginity to just for the sake of experiences was making his blood boil. “It's dangerous, and borderline traumatizing, and you can't expect to write well after that–”

“No, that's not what he said at all!” you waved a hand in the air, reaching for his arm with the other. Your touch was firm, but gentle at the same time. As you wanted to make sure he understood. “Joon didn’t mean I should find someone random.”

There Yoongi went, with the choking again. Because your eyes… Those eyes that were the front door to your soul. They told him so much. And Yoongi was slightly scared to read what they were trying to tell him at that moment. 

“He said I should consider talking to a friend.” you continued after Yoongi didn’t say anything, but your hand stayed in his arm. “Someone I trust, someone I know won't use me, and that won't let things get awkward after.”

Okay, Yoongi would have to have that chat with Namjoon afterall. He could just about imagine his best friend sitting in his suburban house right now, with a drink in his hand, chuckling to himself, thinking he was a mastermind. 

Of course he planned all of this. Namjoon knew of Yoongi’s feelings for you, and he knew that he’d be the one you’d come to with this. He just hadn’t decided if Namjoon was trying to play cupid or pull a prank on him. 

“You're considering it?” Yoongi asked, not wanting to believe what was happening right now. 

“I've decided. I'm either doing that or throwing the whole book away and starting something else.” you sounded so sure of yourself that Yoongi really started to worry. “Which would just be stressful, because I'm already way into the deadlines. So what's it gonna be?”

“Wha-why are you asking me?” Yoongi’s heart was going a mile a minute inside his chest, and it most definitely wasn’t the caffeine he’d been drinking all day. 

“Are you going to make me say it?” you pleaded, squeezing his bicep just once.

“Yes, because I don’t know what you want from me.” he wheezed. 

“I trust you.”

“No, you're not serious. You want me to–” 

“Teach me, yeah.” you assured him, tugging on the sleeve of the cardigan he was wearing. “Or at least have those experiences with me so that I know how things work.” 

Yoongi was about to start hyperventilating. Maybe he had drunk so much coffee all his adult life that it didn’t work on him anymore and he fell asleep on his desk and this was all a dream. Because there’s no way in hell that the girl he had a crush on for the past four years –yet wasn’t brave enough to do something about it– was asking him to–

“Are you even attracted to me?!” his voice came out more high pitched than he wanted, making him cough behind his fist.  

With a deadpan, you stated: “I have eyes, Yoongi.” 

“And also a nose and a mouth, what does that have to do with anything?”

“I think you're hot!” you specified with a giggle and Yoongi went back to the dream axiom. “Especially ever since you decided to let your hair grow long. And I like your face.”

“Thanks.” it should have come out as sarcasm, but his face was too red and the word sounded too breathy. 

“And you’re... strong and tall.” you continued, eyes obviously settling on the width of his chest. 

“Hoseok is taller, why didn't you ask him?” Yoongi didn’t mean to ask that, not one bit, not for a second. It was just one of those things that came out of his mouth when he was nervous. 

“I can. I'll go to him after I leave here, if you really say no.” you were clearly taken aback, hand finally dropping from his arm as you pulled back just a little further away from him. You blinked a few times before offering him an awkward smile. “Which you're already doing. Yeah, sorry, no, I just assumed that you'd be up for it because, after Jimin, you're my closest friend. But I guess being close to someone doesn't mean you're attracted to them? God, this is awkward, I don't know why I just assumed that.”

You were getting up and Yoongi was panicking. Because he didn’t want you to think that he wasn’t attracted to you, and he didn’t want to offend you. But, above all, he didn’t want you to bring this to Hoseok. 

Because Hoseok might say yes. 

Honestly, not many people he knows would ever say no to you. 

“Wait, that's not what I meant.” Yoongi insisted as you were already standing and on the way of going after your backpack. 

“No, Yoon, it's fine!” you waved him off, as if trying to take the burden you had dropped on him off. “Might be better to do it with someone I'm not that close to, anyway. I'll try Hobi.”

“Doll, stop, hang on.” Yoongi reached for your wrist as you walked in front of him and you stopped your stride. “Let me consider this.”

“You don't have to.” you repeated, but didn't take your wrist from his grasp and didn’t walk away. 

“What is it you want, exactly? And please be honest with me, so we both know what we're getting ourselves into here and so there's no misunderstandings.” if he was even entertaining the idea of saying yes to this crazy plan, then he needed you to be as straightforward as possible. 

“I haven't thought this far? But I guess we could do stuff.”

“I said to be specific.” Yoongi pressed. 

You huffed and, dare he say, squirmed, as you sat down on the couch again, this time closer to him. “I mean, would you fuck me? You know, so I know how it works? And, uhm. Stuff?”

“Stuff?”

“Yeah, we should probably start with, like... Kissing. Handjobs? I'd like to suck you off if you're okay with that?” 

Nevermind his dreaming theory, Yoongi might have died and this was his personal version of heaven. Or maybe hell, depending how long it would take for you to start laughing in his face, saying that Namjoon was right and he would fall for it. But that wasn’t like you at all, too sweet and nice for your own good, and –despite his little hours of sleep and caffeine intake– Yoongi was pretty healthy to have died all of a sudden. 

“You can't be serious.” Yoongi was still incredulous. 

“I am! And I can ask Hobi, you don't have to feel pressured.” you told him as the wrist he was still holding on to finally slipped from his grasp, but just so you could hold his hand instead. “Even though this is all Namjoon’s fault and you're the one who introduced me to him and so this is also your fault, and I think you should fix it.”

There it was, the arguments, the innocent guilt trip, your special little way of getting Yoongi to do what you wanted, while not actually forcing him to do anything he didn’t want. And this? You? This was something he wanted. For a really long time. This might not be the way he ever thought he would get to be with you, but if anything, Yoongi was an opportunist. 

And he wasn’t about to let you walk into the studio next door to ask Hoseok to do this favor for you. He’d never forgive himself if he let you walk away now, if he handed you over to one of his closest friends. You might fall in love with each other, get married, and make Yoongi give a speech during the ceremony. You might even name your first born after Yoongi. 

“So.” you squeezed his hand, looking at the difference in size of your palms. “What do you say?”

“You're crazy. But if you're gonna do this anyway.” his shrug was supposed to be nonchalant. 

“Yes! Yoon, thank you! Okay, so what do we do? I promise I'll pay attention!” your excitement made him chuckle, despite the weight of reality slowly sinking in, and untamed butterflies going haywire in his stomach. 

“Calm down, we're not starting right now.”

He needed time to let this new reality settle and tame his anxiety and the voices in his head that were screaming at him. Besides making a list of everything that could go wrong by having agreed with this. 

“Right, I should probably shave down there.” you said with a side pout, as if you were thinking hard about what you had to do to prepare. 

“You– that's not a problem.” Yoongi wanted to make sure you understood you were perfect, just as natural as you wanted to be, but he couldn’t just say that. “Just do what you feel comfortable with, this is not about me. You shouldn't have to worry about things like that, unless you want to.”

“Okay. I should still get on the pill, right?” you asked him, too innocently for the type of conversation you were having. 

“I mean... maybe? You should talk to your doctor about it?” he had no idea really, as that question made Yoongi wonder just how much you needed help with. “There are side effects and long term commitments with that kind of stuff, that you shouldn't put yourself through just for a few experiences? And I'll get tested too, just so you're sure I'm clean.”

“I trust you, Yoon, I don't want you to go through that trouble.”

“It's no trouble, really, I've been meaning to do it anyways, just to be safe.” not that his own sex life was a particularly crazy one at that, and he always wore a condom. 

“This is exciting. Nerve-wracking but exciting.” you giggled, looking at him as your fingers gently traced his knuckles. 

This was the longest you had ever touched each other, even if it was just a simple hand holding. And his insides were already churning and he felt like he could pass out at any given moment, blood wasn’t reaching all the way to his brain apparently. He couldn’t even comprehend what it would be like to be intimate with you. 

“I'm glad you think so.” he said with a low chuckle. 

“Now we just... set up a time and place?” 

“Mhmm.” he nodded, as there wasn’t much else he could do with how mentally frozen he was. 

“Okay, but I really want to start fixing these chapters, so can you give me something today?” you asked sheepishly, fingers tightening around his. 

“What?” 

“Can you show me how to kiss?” was your request, and Yoongi’s eyes fell to your mouth on command.

“You've kissed before.” it wasn’t a question, but an affirmation. In fact, Yoongi had seen you kiss someone before. 

It was years ago, during a stupid game of truth or dare –which was Jimin’s idea– during one of Taehyung’s house parties. Namjoon had thought it would be a good idea to make the two of you play, no doubt another ploy to get something to happen between the two of you. But luck was never on Yoongi’s side and you were dared to kiss another guy; some dude named Seo-joon that Tae knew from acting class. 

“Yeah, but it was never satisfactory and I lack skills.” you told him, bringing him back to the present. “Besides, it might be good to break the ice. Make sure things don’t get awkward between us after I leave.”

“Why would things get awkward–”

“Are you saying you’re not going to overthink everything that just happened as soon as I walk out of this studio?” you challenged with a little grin and Yoongi rolled his eyes. “That’s what I thought.” 

“Alright, I’ll kiss you.” he agreed, and there’s no way he ever thought he’d be saying those words to you. 

“Gee, Yoon, thanks.” you were giggling as you got up from the couch to stand in the middle of the studio. “Try to pretend to be into it, at least.” 

If you only knew. 

Yoongi got up on wobbly legs, but pretended to stretch his back to get his body work properly. Walking the two steps it took to reach you was the most nerve wrecking course he ever had to take. But at least you looked as nervous as he felt, even if you were doing your best to mask it. 

You stood in front of each other, awkwardly staring at one another, hands on your sides. And Yoongi knew he had to move. He had to take the lead, he was the one meant to be showing you how things worked, of course you wouldn’t take the first step. And unless he wanted you to change your mind and actually go to Hoseok instead, he had to act fast. 

“Do you need a step by step guide?” he asked in a low voice, as if sharing a secret. 

“I know how it works, I’m not that inexperienced.” you giggled, hitting his chest playfully. 

Yoongi took your wrist as your hand landed on his chest in your pillowy light attempt of provoking him, bringing your hand up to rest it on the back of his neck. He didn’t miss the way your breath hitched, or your giggles replaced a soft gasp as his other arm circled your waist to bring your body flush against his, or even how your fingers softly threaded through the long hairs at his nape. 

A lot was on the line when it came to this kiss, Yoongi realized wearily. It would be your first kiss together, something he only ever daydreamed about before. And it would set the tone for your future interactions. You could just as well change your mind after it, and it would not only be a blow to his self-esteem, but also his pride. 

“It’s just me.” you said in a meek voice that did nothing to calm his nerves. 

“I know.” 

That’s the problem, he wanted to say. 

Yoongi’s free hand touched the side of your face to tilt it up towards him, his thumb brushing against your cheekbone. With a teeny sigh, your eyes fluttered closed and Yoongi took that chance to study your face, as he had never seen you so up close like this before. Even if you changed your mind later, he still committed your every trace, every little detail about you that he possibly could. 

From your dark, long lashes that kissed the apples of your cheeks, to the outline of your cupid’s bow and your plump bottom lip. As you were about to open your eyes again, Yoongi pressed his lips to yours and you pulled back. Not enough for your mouths to part, but with a little surprised reaction. Thankfully, and before Yoongi’s anxieties could settle in, you moved closer to him again, pulling him towards you by the back of his neck. 

Yoongi’s lips started moving against yours, hesitantly, but his second guessing went out the non-existing windows of his studio as you followed his lead and moved yours along with his. 

Your mouths moved together slowly, his tongue sliding between his lips to lick between yours and you crooned; a small sound that Yoongi didn’t want to focus on, unless he wanted all of his blood to run south. 

“Relax your jaw for me.” Yoongi mumbled, not wanting to go too far. 

Your hand tensed on his neck as your breath grew a little heavier and you did just as he requested, lips parting wider so his tongue could finally slip into your mouth. Yoongi cradled your face by your jaw, feeling it move as your tongues brushed together. 

He could taste your peach flavored lip balm and right then he decided it was his favorite flavor in the world. Your other hand was resting on his chest and Yoongi wondered if you could feel just how fast his heart was beating as you tipped your head sideways so he could deepen the kiss. 

It made his own hand slip to the back of your neck, hold turning firm as he kept you in place to lick around your mouth, exploring it as if he wanted to map it out. 

You pulled away first, having a hard time breathing, which did wonders for Yoongi’s swelling pride, but he wasn't ready to let you go just yet, acting on instinct and taking your bottom lip between his teeth. 

It was worth it as your surprised gasp turned into a moan, making the man smirk. It eventually made him let go of your lip and he watched as your eyes opened; as blown out as his probably were. 

“That was… Good, right?” you asked in a breathy tone that Yoongi wanted to hear more of. 

“Really good, yeah.” he nodded, so close to your face, hands still holding you close. “If the rest of it is anything like this, you don’t have anything to worry about.” 

SEPTEMBER 23RD | 17:41

Yoongi’s apartment wasn’t the biggest one, but his producer salary allowed him to have enough room to fit all of his friends comfortably whenever they decided to use his place as a hang out spot. Is not that he hated to have friends over, if anything Yoongi really enjoyed hosting and cooking for everybody. But the bunch could get rowdy, and Yoongi was left cleaning up the aftermath alone most of the time. 

The group-chat had decided that their Saturday plans should include movie night at Yoongi’s place, just because of his soundproof walls and surround sound system that matched his big flat screen TV. Yoongi enjoyed few things in life, not really one to flaunt his status as one of the most sought out Korean producers of present times, but he was proud of his entertainment set up. 

A light rain was falling outside, the pitter patter of the drops of the early autumn falls being drawn out by the music video playing on the television as he and his so-called-best-friend organized the living room before the rest of the group arrived. 

“I don't know why you're mad at me.” Namjoon was saying as he pulled out the seat cushions of Yoongi’s dark gray couch to make it just a little longer and more comfortable to be laid on for the duration of the movie. 

“Really.” Yoongi deadpanned from the kitchen as he rummaged through his food cupboard in search of the kind of microwavable popcorn you liked.  “You have nooo idea?”

“I mean, yeah, sure, I might have acted with mischief, but I meant what I said–”

“In what world did you think that telling her to find someone to have sex with was a good idea?” Yoongi finally snapped, letting the popcorn packets drop to the kitchen island with a smack. “What if she went after some rando at a club?” 

“I see your point, hyung, but she didn't!” Namjoon tried to apologize by doing a better job of fluffing the cushions. “She went after you!”

“Thank fuck for that.”

Namjoon stepped away from the couch to look at his OCD-friendly set up, making sure the decorative cushions were symmetrically parted from each other and the wool blankets Yoongi always had laying around were folded in perfect squares. Yoongi liked his apartment to be a little on the colder side, and he wasn’t ready to let go of summer just yet, but he also got cold easily. 

“Shouldn't you be thankful that you got to kiss the girl of your dreams?” Namjoon turned to his older friend, walking to the kitchen to inspect the snacks that were already littering the dark marble island. “And you'll be doing a lot more than that–”

“I don’t know if I am.” Yoongi confessed with a sigh, which picked Namjoon’s curiosity. 

“Why not?”

“She– It’s been a week and nothing else happened.” Yoongi shrugged, as if trying to downplay it and mask his disappointment. 

“Haven’t you seen each other again since that day at your studio?” Namjoon leaned over the island to read the label on the honey and mustard chips, but his attentive eyes always went back to him. 

“We have. We were never alone, though, because Jimin and Jungkook were there when we had takeout, and then everyone was at Jin's on game night.” Yoongi recalled all of the times he managed to see you during this past week. 

“True, but you did look closer during game night.” Namjoon offered, but Yoongi scoffed. “I'm serious! She was always touching your arm, sitting closer to you... hugging you when you scored a point.”

“She's always like that with everyone, I'm not reading into it.” Yoongi refused to see things where there weren’t, because he knew that he would be the one broken hearted at the end of whatever this was. 

“Yeah, but she wasn't like that with you.” Namjoon pointed out. 

“Because she knows I'm not clingy like the rest of you.” Yoongi rebutted. 

“She picked you to be on her team, and you're a bad player!” 

“Hey!”

“Am I wrong?” Namjoon arched an eyebrow, dropping the bag of chips back onto the counter, which made Yoongi flinch, thinking about the broken snacks. “Didn’t think so. She usually goes for Kook because that kid is good at everything.”

“Of course, just something else I come second in.”

Yoongi didn’t mean to sound so bitter. He didn’t even intend on speaking out loud in the first place. But he did, and Namjoon raised an eyebrow at him. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” his friend prodded, and Yoongi had no choice but to turn his back and pretend to be searching for something as he replied:

“She said Jungkook is her type.”

“Really? So... gay af, pouts like a baby, dresses like a hobo most of the time?” Namjoon chuckled fondly of the maknae of their weird friend group. 

“I think it's more like muscles, piercings and tattoos.” he couldn’t sound more dejected if he tried. 

“Is that why you're wearing your hoops again?” Namjoon’s laughter grew louder, pointing at his own pierced ears as he looked at Yoongi’s. “And why are you going to the gym again?”

“No– how do you know I went to the gym?”

“Hobi told me he ran into you. It's cool though. I’m not here to judge.” 

Namjoon better not judge him, as he was the one to get Yoongi in this mess in the first place. Yeah, he had unrequited feelings for you, and yeah, he imagined plenty of what if scenarios where he grew the balls to ask you out, or make a move on you. But was this the way his friend had to help him out? By planting ideas in your head and making you offer him something like this? 

Yoongi’s heated thought process was interrupted as his phone started to buzz inside his pants pocket and his heart skipped a beat when he read the name on the notifications.

“Oof, that friendzone gotta hurt.” Namjoon said, over Yoongi’s shoulder. His height gave him an advantage that was almost as annoying as his nosy tendencies. 

“I swear to fucking god–” Yoongi rasped, shutting his phone and shoving it in his pocket. 

“Hey, at least you might get a handy today, huh?” the younger man wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, running away before Yoongi could throw a bag of chips on his head. “And clearly your kiss can't have been that bad, if she's coming to you for help again.”

“Not helping, Joonah.” 

Your text did light him up a little bit, and Namjoon wasn’t all that wrong. If you were asking him for help with whatever it was you needed, you didn’t change your mind about this, and you didn’t go to someone else for it; friend or foe. 

You didn’t specify just what you needed help with, but Yoongi took a longer shower just in case, scrubbing his body from top to bottom, brushing his teeth just a little harder, blow drying his hair just a little fluffier. Just in case. 

You might just ask him questions and not actually want to do anything, but on the off chance that you did, Yoongi wanted to be ready for you. 

He wasn’t proud to say that he spent just a little longer inside his decent sized closet deciding on what to wear. Yoongi didn’t want to try too hard, as it would make things too obvious, but he also didn’t think sweats and a white t-shirt were good enough either. But then again, if Jeon Jungkook was your ideal type, maybe he could grab oversized black clothes and call it a night. 

“Everyone is already here, hyung.” Namjoon said from the outside of his door, and that’s when Yoongi started to rush. 

He ended up picking a pair of jeans with holes on the knees, but that was nicely fitted on his hips, and a soft blue sweater with some green at the end of the sleeves. Hoping he didn’t go too hard on his favorite cologne, Yoongi left his bedroom to find the seven of you already taking over his living room and kitchen space. 

Jimin and Taehyung were being disgusting on his couch, giggling as they looked over something on the former’s phone. Jungkook and Seokjin were sitting on the floor, looking up at the TV as they clearly searched for something to watch tonight. Hoseok and Namjoon were in the kitchen, helping you make popcorn. 

Microwave popcorn shouldn’t be so hard that it took three people to make it, but you had a routine. You hated it when you took it out too early, meaning half the corn didn’t have time to pop, but it was even worse to leave it in the machine for too long so that it burned. So it took one of you sniffing for any hint of burnt popcorn, another one to pilot the STOP and ON buttons, and a third one listening in for the popping sounds. 

And, of course, it took giving you a good look over to almost stop Yoongi’s heart altogether. 

Just because you had no business looking so damn pretty all the time. 

Today you were wearing one of Yoongi’s favorite styles on you; a lilac suede overall dress that made you look like a cute gardener with a long sleeved shirt under it. Your hair was falling in soft waves, as if you had taken the time to style them before coming, which made Yoongi wonder if you had the same thought process as he had. 

“Hyung! There you are!” Hoseok announced his presence for everyone to hear, in that chirpy way of his, and Yoongi’s ears burned a little as the attention of the room landed on him. “The popcorn is almost– wait, wait, stop!” 

“Stopping!” you announced, clicking on the button to pause the microwave. “That was a close one, commander.” 

Yoongi couldn’t help the little chuckle he let out while watching you and his two best friend’s dramatics, shoulders shaking a little, gums probably out for the others to see. 

“Have you gotten from here, Joon?” you turned to the taller man, who nodded while taking the last popcorn packet from the microwave. 

You turned towards Yoongi again, who seemed frozen in place until that very moment. You grabbed the three tubs of popcorn that were already ready and took them with you to the couch, nodding your head for Yoongi to follow you. And he was a little socially awkward by nature, but he didn’t think he made a fool out of himself as the others knew he was more on the quiet side most of the time. 

“Alright, who let the maknaes choose the movie?” you were saying as you stepped on the soft black rug that took over half of the living room. 

“Who are you calling a maknae–” Seokjin threw a glare over his shoulder, one you answered with a scrunch of your nose. 

“What’s wrong with our movie taste, noona?” Jungkook asked you, about to pout. 

You handed Jungkook and Seokjin a tub of popcorn, and another one to Taehyung and Jimin, keeping the last one for yourself as you sat down in the middle of the couch, having to scoot a little awkwardly as if your overall-dress made it hard for you to move. 

“The problem is not your taste in movies, but you never agree on anything.” Yoongi supplied, making you nod in agreement. “Jungkook-ah is going to either pick a superhero movie that we’ve all seen before, or a horror movie, and hyung will be too scared to watch anything with serial killers or ghosts and shit.” 

“That’s because I live alone and have an old man's bladder and don’t like having to run from demons on the way back from the bathroom, in the middle of the night, thank you very much!” Seokjin complained in that rushed way of his, making you giggle. 

Namjoon and Hoseok joined the rest of you in the living room, with the last tub of popcorn. The packs of chips and other snacks were already on the center table, alongside glasses of soda. 

Yes, Yoongi was still standing, but that’s because he always had to be the last one to sit down. Everyone always complained that they didn’t know how to work the lighting system of his smart home, and Yoongi had to be the one to dim the lights low enough so the television was the focus point, but not dark enough that they couldn’t see anything else. 

When Yoongi finally made his way to the couch, everyone was already paired up and laying down with their snacks of choice. 

Jimin had exchanged his best friend for his boyfriend and was now sitting between Jungkook’s legs, resting against his chest. Tae was still sitting beside them, never minding the third willing. You were right in the middle of the couch, where it was your preferred spot. Hoseok was right next to you, followed by Namjoon and Seokjin. 

Before Yoongi could walk to the edge of the couch, to join the hyung, you spoke: 

“Hobi, can you scoot over a little?” you asked the man with little taps to his thigh. “Come sit next to me, Yoon.” 

The living room was silent as everyone stared at Yoongi once again, just another proof that the only person oblivious to his feelings toward you was, well, you. But at least Yoongi wasn’t completely awkward when it came to you; there was no stumbling, no hesitating, no fumbling around as space was opened on the sofa so he could sit between you and Hoseok. 

You handed him the popcorn you were about to share as you unfolded one of the wool blankets and threw it over your legs, more concerned about covering your legs and getting comfortable than actually escaping the cold. While the younger boys bickered over the final movie choice and which sound configuration was best for the settled genre, the three other guys started a heated discussion over something political they heard on the news.

When Yoongi looked at you, you were already looking at him. 

“I like your ripped pants.” you said with an easy smile, reaching to slip two fingers inside the wide holes on his knees. “Didn’t know you had things like this.” 

“That’s because hyung’s fashion sense only includes either a blazer and white shirt or dress pants and a hoodie.” Jimin teased from the other side. 

“I’m sorry I’m not into Chelsea boots and skinny jeans.” Yoongi scoffed, which wasn’t really a jab at Jimin’s fashion sense. Even Yoongi could admit the blonde man knew how to dress better than most. 

“You’re forgiven.” Jimin was grinning, which was noticeable even in the dimmed atmosphere of the room. 

Your fingers were still tracing random patterns on his knee as you said: “Don’t listen to Jiminie, I like your style.” 

“Thanks. I like yours too.” he said, which somehow made you giggle. 

“You don’t think I look like a little girl?” you asked in what must have been a moment of self doubt. 

“Nah, just cute.” 

You smiled appreciatively at him, throwing half of the blanket over Yoongi’s legs so you could share. He handed you the tub with popcorn and the movie finally started; the thumping of the bass from the intro not the only thing making his heart accelerate. 

The group ended up deciding on a new movie with a few known actors, like IU –the only woman Jungkook would ever turn straight for–, no demons to scare Seokjin, and no blood to make Taehyung queasy. 

The drama wasn’t Yoongi’s particular cup of tea, but he wouldn’t be paying attention to it anyways. Not when you felt so warm sitting so close to him, smelling so good. And not when his brain was filled with the possibilities of what was coming next, after everyone had left. 

You and Yoongi shared the popcorn, hands brushing every now and then as if you were in a teen movie. You didn’t seem to notice it, however, engrossed in the movie. You had tears in your eyes during some of the more emotionally heavy scenes, but held them in pretty well. 

While you could. 

Thirty minutes into the movie and the popcorn was over, the tub resting somewhere on the floor, and you were aggressively wiping tears from your eyes with your sleeves. 

“Just let her keep her baby.” you said under your breath, moving your arm under Yoongi’s so you could hug it like a safety blanket, cheek pressed hard against his shoulder. “They will be okay, right?” 

“Mhm, yeah. Everything is going to be fine.” 

Yoongi had no way of knowing that, especially when it came to this kind of movie. But he’d be damned if he didn’t try to soothe you. You nodded softly in response, snuggling into his arm a little harder, pressing your body to his completely. You were exactly like this, Yoongi told  himself. You’d be clinging to whoever was sitting next to you, and it just so happened to be him. 

That was okay, he told himself as he quietly sniffed your hair, because, at least right now, it was him you were clinging to. 

SEPTEMBER 23RD | 22:15

It wasn’t surprising the way Yoongi was a lot more relaxed by the end of the movie, but it was a little shameful that he grew more and more at ease as his friends started to take their leave. Yoongi dealt better with smaller groups of people at a time, even if he loved every one of his friends; yes, even Jungkook and all his piercings and tattoos. It wasn’t the maknae’s fault that you were apparently so attracted to him when you first met. 

Hell, even Yoongi caught himself gawking at Jungkook whenever he put a little more effort into looking good; like when he combed his hair off his forehead, or wore the black jeans that may or may not belong to Jimin. 

“You guys can leave it, I’ll do it.” Yoongi insisted as you and Hoseok continued to clean up the living room. 

“It’s alright, hyung, I don’t mind.” Hoseok told him as he knelt on the rug to pick up stray pieces of popcorn and chips that eventually made it to the floor. “We’ll just finish it up and go. I’ll drive you home when we’re done.” 

“Me?” you blinked, as Hoseok clearly meant you, eyes moving to Yoongi as you silently asked for help. “Thank’s, but I’m not going home yet.” 

“Oh.” Hoseok nodded. Then stopped. His eyes widened for a fraction of a second and his neck almost snapped with how fast he turned to Yoongi’s direction, sending him a sly grin. “Ohh.” 

Yoongi was shaking his head at Hoseok, with wide eyes and behind your back, telling his friend to cut it out as you picked up the empty boxes of pizza. Hobi winked in slow motion and sent Yoongi a thumbs up, which made him sigh. 

The job of tying it up the living room and kitchen was a lot easier now that he had more help, and fifteen minutes later, the dishes were washed, the couch was clear of any mess, and Yoongi was walking Hoseok out of his apartment. 

“So.” Hoseok spoke quietly, which Yoongi appreciated, but it still made him cringe a little on the inside as his friend teased: “You two, huh?” 

“It’s not what you’re thinking.” Yoongi stated, holding the front door open while the younger man put his shoes on. 

“You don’t know what I’m thinking.” Hoseok squinted his eyes, but his knowing smile was enough to make Yoongi’s ears burn. 

“I can assure you.” Yoongi chuckled, as there was no way his friend would ever be able to guess why you were staying longer tonight. “Night, Hobah.” 

Hoseok waited as the elevator dinged and walked in after the automatic doors opened for him, singing: “Goodnight, hyung. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” 

And, just like that, he was gone and Yoongi could breathe a little easier. And, just like that, you were alone together after what felt like ages. 

Yoongi found you sitting on the couch, looking a little tired, eyes still a little red from when you cried at the end of the movie. He mustn’t look so hot either, social battery on its lowest setting. At least he never felt like he needed to try hard with you, surprisingly. There was never a need to be entertaining, to talk more than he wanted to, to constantly search for something to do. 

He could just sit next to you and do nothing, and it didn’t feel awkward, you were never bothered by his quieter moments. You also had a way of bringing out his other sides, too; the joker, the one with the weird noises and funky dances, and also the deep one that could talk about music for hours and had random facts to spill. 

“Movie nights are fun, but you always look a little dead after.” you giggled, and it wasn’t even an insult. Yoongi felt a little dead as he sat down next to you, relaxing into his couch cushion. 

“I know I’m not that much older than them, but sometimes I feel like I can't keep up.” he chuckled with closed eyes, basking on the quietude that was only ever broken by your giggles.

“Okay, grandpa. Do you want me to leave?” you offered, which made Yoongi open his eyes and look at you. 

By now, the mood lights in the living room had been put into a brighter setting than during the movie, but not uncomfortably so. Yoongi could still see the blush on your cheeks, the hesitation in your eyes and the way your fingers fiddled with each other. 

Yoongi didn’t want you to leave, however. No matter how tired or drained he felt, this was the first time he had a chance to be alone with you all week. And when the last memory he had of a moment like this came along with the feeling of your lips on him, he really wanted you to stay. 

“Not really.” he replied, and maybe it was wishful thinking, but he thought he saw you breathe a little easier. “You, uh, needed help, right?”

“Yeah, but I can just come back another time, I don't mind.” you assured him, always one to worry about his boundaries and need for the occasional alone time. It warmed his heart, in more ways than one. 

“I promise I'm fine, doll. You said something about your book?” Yoongi wasn’t trying to push, in case you changed your mind, but your eager nod as he mentioned it made him sit up a little straighter on the sofa. 

“Okay, so, I was reading chapter eleven again and I really agreed with Joon's notes on it.” you said as you turned a little more to the side, so you were facing him. 

“Which were?”

“It wasn't realistic, the, uh, sexy scene.” you explained with a nibble on your bottom lip, the blush was dusted on your cheeks again. “Just because there are things that I don't exactly know how they happen.”

“Okay. You wanna ask me about it?”

“Sure. But I was hoping that showing me might work better?” there it was, the hesitation again. Your words were already causing something to stir in Yoongi’s lower belly, but he kept his cool. “Maybe. If you're okay with that.”

“You need to tell me what it is first, doll, or I can't tell you that.” he chuckled, hoping it would help you relax a little more around him. 

Not that Yoongi wasn’t having a little moment of nervous anxiety himself, this was you, he didn’t think he’d ever be completely cool about any of this. But he wanted to help you, and he wanted to be good for you. Even if the only chance he ever got to do that was purely platonic. 

“Right, right, just... I feel kinda bad now that we're here.” you said with a frown, reaching out on instinct to thread your pinky through his. 

“Did you change your mind? Because that’s okay, too, we can just forget about it.” Yoongi had to swallow a lump in his throat, but he meant every word. 

“No, not at all... I just feel like I'm using you in a way.” you said, eyes downcast as you looked at your linked fingers. You let out a small laugh, but it was a bitter one. “This is ridiculous, right? I'm sitting here, about to ask you to show me how you get hard. And what do you get in return?”

Yoongi’s breath intake was a little harsh as he held back a groan, fingers flexing of their own accord. In what should be a joke to lighten the mood, but that immediately made him fluster, he said: “An orgasm, maybe?”

“Be serious.” you rolled your pretty eyes, but an even prettier smile broke on your face. 

“I am! Unless you want to see how it goes down naturally as well?” Yoongi really hoped you said no. 

“No, that's not part of it. There's something else I want, but–”

“Oh?”

“–we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.” 

The possibilities were making Yoongi’s mind go a little hazy, butterflies that felt more like bats in the cave of his stomach, and his dick was already twitching in his pants. So much so that he feared  he might get hard before you even had the chance to actually see it happen. 

“Kay. How do you wanna do this?”

“Uh, I really didn't think this far.” you admitted sheepishly. 

“Do you wanna help?” Yoongi asked, wondering if you wanted him to pull it out and touch himself into full hardness, or if you wanted in on it. “I can guide you.”

“That might be better, yes.” you nodded, too cute for what was about to happen, and scooted even closer to him so your knees were pressed against his thigh.

Was he really about to do this? Was Yoongi actually going to drop his pants, show you his cock, and let you study him like a guinea pig? God, don’t let this get awkward, he was reasoning to whoever was out there listening. He didn’t want to scare you with it either, as it wouldn’t be good for your kinky-field-search, and even worse for his own pride, so he asked: 

“You don't want to start the chapter with the guy just pulling it out, right?” bringing it back to your book might be easier to set the scene for the two of you, too. “You wanna tease the reader as much as you wanna tease your character.” 

“Yes, yes, of course.”

“You might wanna start with some light making out?” he offered, words taking a turn and missing his brain filter altogether. 

Your eyes widened just a little, instantly dropping to his lips. “Should we?”

“We don't have to. I'm just telling you what might work well on a scene.” he lied. 

“What if I want to?”

Yoongi thought he might be dreaming again as you moved first, leaning closer to him to press your lips together just once, just a peck. Nervous eyes stared up at him as you pulled back but didn’t go all too far. 

“Is this okay?” you asked in a whisper.

“Mm. Shouldn't I be asking that?” Yoongi spoke as quietly as you, his hand reaching out to push your hair behind your ear. 

“I'm not sure.” you looked at his lips again, with a small nervous laugh as your hand rested on his thigh. 

“I’m okay with it.” he told you, holding back from lunging for your lips again. 

“Me too. Definitely.”

That was all Yoongi needed to slip his hand to the back of your neck and drag you into another kiss. This time it was longer, a little harder than the soft peck. He moved his mouth first and you followed suit, slightly parting your lips for his tongue to slip into yours. Your little breathy sounds, paired with the tightening of your hand on his thigh, were making Yoongi a little dizzy. 

You were melting into his kiss, following every lick and every flick of his tongue, allowing him to dictate the pace, deepen the kiss when he wanted. It wasn’t missed on Yoongi how much trust you actually put on him to have these experiences with, and he would make sure you never regretted it. 

Even if nothing ever came of this, he wouldn’t burden you with his broken heart, but continue to support you and be there for you regardless. 

As your hand started moving on his thigh, hiking up, Yoongi groaned against your lips and you swallowed the noise, replying to it with a tiny moan. Yoongi took your bottom lip into his mouth and sucked on it gently, which made your hand squeeze at his thigh and he parted his legs for you in an invitation. 

You didn’t move it to where Yoongi wanted and when he let go of your lip and studied your face, he understood why. He could see how reluctant and shy you looked, eyes pleading with him to help you just a little more. 

“It’s okay.” he assured you, voice coming out raspy. “Give me your hand.” 

You put your palm in his and when Yoongi gently tugged it closer to his ever growing bulge, there was no pulling back, no halting. Just the fear of not knowing what to do. You let out a little gasp as Yoongi placed your hand over the outline of his cock, molding your fingers around it so you could feel all of him. 

“Oh my god.” you breathed out with a little laugh. 

“Too much?” he checked, loosening the hold on your hand in case you wished to pull back. 

But now that you were let go of, you didn’t retreat, but started touching him, over his pants, at your own accord. You squeezed a little, testing the pressure, tracing the length, and Yoongi’s head fell against the back of the couch, eyes hooded and stuck on you, reading your every reaction. 

Small sighs and groans left his lips each time you did something he really liked, which made you ask:

“Does it feel nice?” your whole hand was palming at his crotch and he had to suppress the need to push his hips into your hand, only managing to nod. “You look so good like this.” 

The praise was too much, and he didn’t want to cum inside his pants, just from this, so he chose to stare into the ceiling instead. It did little to quell his worries of not lasting long as you took it as an invitation to kiss his neck. Your lips felt as soft as they did against his and the way you let your tongue lick at his heated skin made him bite back a moan. 

“Can I see you?” you asked in a whiny tone, delivered to his ear, making his cock jump. He wondered if you could feel it. 

“Yeah.” Yoongi nodded and you moved your hand back to his thigh, leaving his neck with one last kiss under his jaw. It was his turn to become a little embarrassed as he said: “Uh, you should know, dicks are pretty different from one another, so.”

“I know, I’ve seen dicks before.” you giggled. “I’ve watched porn, Yoon.” 

Right. 

Yoongi cursed at himself, because of course you knew what a dick was supposed to look like. You might be inexperienced when it came to having practice, but you weren’t sheltered, you weren’t naive, and you clearly weren’t innocent; not with the type of stuff you wrote about. At least your giggle calmed him down a little, and his own embarrassment made his impending release recede. 

He pushed his sleeves all the way up to his elbows and pulled the hem of the sweater from the inside of his pants, revealing a small strip of skin of his lower stomach for you. Yoongi didn’t know what your little gasp meant, but he chose to believe it was positive. You adjusted yourself on the couch as his fingers reached his pants’ button and fly, squeezing your thighs together as he pulled them down. 

Not trying to drag this out or make a mystery of it, Yoongi lifted his hips to push his pants and underwear to the middle of his thighs; a quick pull off of a bandaid, so to speak. His cock jumped free, resting against his lower belly. Hard, leaking pre-cum, the tip a familiar shade of darker pink. 

He really regretted not masturbating in the shower before everyone arrived, because at least the edge would be off and Yoongi wouldn’t need to fear getting off the moment you touched him for the first time. 

You didn’t do much at first, and Yoongi was almost afraid to look at you and find disappointment in your eyes. Your eyes were a little glossy as your tongue poked between your pouty lips. When you noticed his gaze was on you, the spell broke and you reacted. 

“You– Uhm. That’s a big one, right?” you asked with a flushed face and neck. “I know I said I’ve seen them, and I know what it’s supposed to be like, but. I didn’t expect it to be so long? And fat.” 

Your choice of words made Yoongi laugh, an actual belly laugh, shaking shoulders and everything. It made your eyes widen as you blinked cutely, clearly embarrassed. 

“Thanks, doll.” he grinned as his laughter subsided. “And yeah, I’m a little above average.” 

“A little?” your eyebrow arched in suspicion as your eyes followed the movement of his hand as he held his cock, squeezing a little to alleviate some of the ache. “Since when are you modest?” 

“Alright, I have a big dick.” he agreed with a shrug as he took a leap of faith and kissed your cheek with a hot smack. 

“That’s more like the Yoongi I know and love.” you giggled, clearly oblivious to the way your words affected him. 

Yoongi knew you meant in a friendly kind of love, he felt the same way towards you. But his feelings went a little beyond that, which caused his heart to clench and expand in his chest as he basked in your love, however innocent and platonic it was. 

“Can I touch you?” you asked and Yoongi really wanted to say you could do anything at all to him. 

“Go ahead.” 

This is the part Yoongi thought would be weird. In his mind, maybe he pictured you poking him in the dick, giggling like a schoolgirl, maybe frowning or looking a little disgusted. God knows that he didn’t really know what to do when he saw a pussy for the first time. 

But you were gentle with the way your fingertips touched him, following the vein on the underside of it, using your thumb to spread the leaking pre-cum around his velvety tip. You were paying attention, yes, and studying him. But it didn’t make him feel under a microscope. If anything, it made Yoongi feel appreciated. 

Your small hand wrapped around his cock and Yoongi sighed, his free hand was resting next to you on the sofa and he had to hold back the urge of touching you. Your thigh was so close to his hand that he could feel the warmth emanating from you, but you hadn’t talked about it yet and he feared you might not like that. 

For now he had to appreciate the feeling of your hand on him, which was more than he ever thought he’d get. 

When you let go of him, Yoongi feared that might be it, all you needed from him tonight, that you’d tell him you gathered all the information you needed for the chapter. He missed your touch already and having to touch himself after you left would not only be sad, but a little pathetic. 

You were full of surprises, however, as you brought your hand to your lips and sucked on your tongue, letting your spit fall on your palm. You did know what you were doing after all, as he didn’t need to instruct you when your hand got back to his cock and you spread your spit all over him. 

There were things you were trying, Yoongi noticed as he let go of his shaft in order to allow you to take over. The more you touched him, the more confident you grew, tugging him a little harder, jerking him a little faster. When you fisted at his tip, your small hand wrapping around it and squeezing as your wrist flicked, Yoongi’s moan was too loud. 

“Oh, you like that.” it wasn’t a question, but an affirmation as you repeated it one more time before dropping your hand in a tight ‘o’ all the way down to his base. 

“Yeah, it’s uhm–sensitive.” 

Yoongi was breathing heavily as you tugged and stroked his cock. You were a little messy, a bit awkward at times, not really following a steady rhythm, but Yoongi found out that he liked that. 

“I can feel you pulsing.” you commented in awe, letting out small whines that were half the cause for that very throbbing you were feeling against your palm. “Does that mean you’re close?” 

“Not always.” he shook his head, not sure if he rather look at his cock disappearing and poking out from your fist, or your pretty face as you were obviously getting hot and bothered by this. “But I am.” 

That last information seemed to light a whole new fire within you, making your movements a little more firm and determined. You teased his slit with your thumb as the rest of your hand worked on the underside of his head, making him let out raspy moans, sweat starting to cling at his skin. 

It took him completely by surprise as your free hand dipped into his hair and you stared at his lips until Yoongi took the hint and leaned in the rest of the way to capture your lips with his. He couldn’t really kiss you properly, not in the way that he wanted to, and it basically meant that he was moaning against your lips and licking around your mouth more than actually kissing, but it was tearing whines from you either way, and your movements never stopped. 

“Gonna cum, baby–” 

The term of endearment was a slip, one that Yoongi would justify by being in the throes of the moment if you ever asked him about it, and not because he dreamed about calling you baby for years now. You didn’t complain, however, as you flicked your wrist in an upstroke, in that way you already knew he liked, and you squeezed at his hair just as he couldn’t hold back anymore. 

Yoongi felt his lower stomach tense, his cock throb as it felt impossibly hard and borderline painful. He let go of what was holding him back and allowed himself to enjoy the pleasure the girl of his dreams was giving him; thick ribbons of white shooting out of his tip as he groaned what sounded a lot like your name. 

You pulled away from his lips to look as the last strings leaked out, movements slowing down, but not completely stopping. 

“That was beautiful.” you said in that breathy tone that let Yoongi know you were affected. “You’re so beautiful, Yoongi.” 

“Stop that.” he chuckled, cheeks flustered as he watched you milk his cock of the last drops. “I’m the one who had an orgasm, you’re not supposed to be the delirious one.”

“I mean it.” you assured him, not an ounce of doubt in your words. “You’re incredible.” 

"You're the one who did all the work, doll." 

You giggled softly because you agreed, letting his softening cock go as you rested it against his stomach. Clearly you didn't know what to do next, and Yoongi intended on getting up to clean himself up, grab some tissues to clean your hand, he just needed a couple of minutes to catch his breath. 

Yoongi watched as you brought your dirty hand to your face to sniff his release and then swipe your tongue, licking at his cum. It made him groan and intake a breath, wanting to laugh at your childish curiosity. Your nose scrunched a little, obviously surprised, but you weren't gaging, which was a good thing. 

"That's stronger than I thought." was your conclusion. "Not horrible, though."

Yoongi wanted to tell you that the taste and the way cum looked changed a little,  depending on how many times and how often people with dicks had sex or masturbated, but that would include telling you that his sex life was practically nonexistent and even his solo time was cut short by his long studio hours. 

"Can I wash my hands on your sink?" you asked  already up from the couch and walking a little funny as you tried to play it cool. 

"Sure."

Yoongi could only imagine why you were walking like that, wondering if your panties were so wet with your arousal that you were a little uncomfortable. Of course that would mean that you actually enjoyed yourself while jerking him off, that it wasn't purely for your research. 

And then again, didn't he already know that? He saw the way you looked at him, he heard your little mewls and moans and you didn't have to kiss him like that but you still did. 

When you got back to the couch, your hand was clean and you were offering him a paper towel so he could clean himself too, realizing then that he was just sitting there, pants still around his thighs and cock out. He felt a little silly, but took the paper and wiped himself as best as he could before tucking himself back into his underwear and buttoning his pants in place. 

"I had fun tonight." you told him, in what should be a way of saying goodbye, but it didn't match the way you settled on his couch once more, folding your legs under you  

"Yeah? You seemed to enjoy the movie." Yoongi turned toward you after bunching the paper towel in a sticky ball and throwing it at his center table. 

"I mean with you." you half whispered, tapping your bottom lip as an irrational movement, which inevitably dragged Yoongi’s eyes to them. "I'm glad I came to you with this."

"So you haven't changed your mind?" 

You shook your head, lighting up with a smile as you said: "I'm excited to try more." 

"Like what?" Yoongi had suggestions of his own, but this was about you so he didn't want to project his own wishes and wants on you. 

And, thankfully, you were pretty good at telling him what you wanted, despite how shy you got while at it. 

"Maybe you could do something to me next time?" you offered, Yoongi nodded. "Like… whatever you feel like."

"Want me to eat you out?" 

"Are you offering or asking me?" you replied, eyes a little wide, breath a little dragged. 

"Same thing, doll." 

"Okay." 

You agreed softly and it was all Yoongi needed to pull his legs up and crawl to you. Your eyes only grew as you watched him approach, hands resting on his chest as he began laying you down on his couch, gazes stuck to each other. 

“Y–you mean n–now?” you stuttered and even that sounded cute to Yoongi. 

“Is that okay?” he paused, nose an inch away from yours. 

“Yeah.” you sighed, letting your back fall against the couch, head resting on the arm of the sofa. 

“Stop me anytime you want.” Yoongi told you, leaning forward to peck your lips. “Or tell me to keep going when you like something.” 

“I’m convinced I’ll like everything coming from you.” you admitted with a shy chuckle, hands on each side of Yoongi’s neck as you kept him there to kiss his lips a little longer. 

“I sure hope so.” his laugh was easy, as was everything when it came to you. No matter how complicated his feelings were. 

Yoongi dragged his lips against your skin, from your jaw and down to your throat. Your legs parted for him to fit in between them and as your hands got lost in his long hair, making him grunt appreciatively each time you pulled, it felt like an invitation for him to touch you, to feel you. He trusted that you would stop him if you didn’t want any of it, and you never did. 

This didn’t feel like an agreement, didn’t feel like he was doing you a favor by showing you how things worked, making you feel things for the sake of gathering experience for your book. So it was easy to forget that’s all it was, and even easier to feel like you were lovers. 

Yoongi’s hands were roaming your body, touching your sides until he reached your thigh. His mouth was opening and closing against your neck, tongue licking at your skin as you squirmed under him, letting out the prettiest moans. More than anything, he wanted to bite you, leave a pretty bruise on your skin, mark you as his. 

But you weren’t. So he couldn’t. 

“Yoon, please.” you pleaded, so sweetly that it made his cock stir inside his pants. 

Yoongi could never deny you, he wasn’t about to start now. Pulling back from you to kneel between your legs, he was slow with the way he raised the skirt of your overalls, just enough to let him see your bottom half, the softness of your lower stomach and your cute belly button. He didn't want to seem too greedy and raise it up too much. 

Even though he was. 

You were wearing black panties, a little sheer, delicate fabric, with tiny lace frills around the elastic band and an even tinier bow at the front. It wasn’t the kind of underwear one wore if no one was about to see them. It made him wonder if you picked those for him. 

Did you wear them just in case? Did you worry about him liking it? 

The way you were staring at him expectantly let him know that you did. 

“I like these.” he told you and you smiled with pink cheeks. “Were you thinking of me when you chose to wear them?” 

“I bought them for you.” you admitted with a squirm, threatening to close your legs, but his body was on the way. “I didn’t really have any reasons to own lingerie before.” 

Does the top match? He wanted to ask, but refrained from it. All in due time. 

Yoongi touched your knees, thighs, feeling your smooth skin under his fingertips, all the way up your hips to hook his fingers on the elastic bands. “Is it okay if I take them off?” 

“Uh–” you hesitated, which made Yoongi worry. He started to retrieve his hands when you held onto his wrists to keep them there. “Yeah, it’s fine, just– What if you think I look weird?” 

“You could never look weird, doll.” he marveled. 

You huffed in a ‘how would you know’ way and chided: “I hope you know you’ll be the first to see me like this.” as if he didn’t know. As if he wasn’t fucking proud of that. “Well, you and the brazilian lady from the waxing place yesterday, but I don’t think she counts.” 

“I can live with that.” 

He could also live here. With you under him. On his couch. Sharing his space. Your laughs filling the silence of his home, your touches filling the empty spots of his heart. 

When you let go of his wrists and lifted your hips, Yoongi pulled your underwear down your legs, trying not to stare, but unable to look away as you were revealed for him. You were perfect, but he knew you would be. Soft lips, looking a little puffy as your arousal clinged to you, making you all shiny and delicious. 

You spread your legs a little wider, opening yourself to him, inviting him in. You were the most beautiful woman he had ever seen in his life, there was no question about it. Yoongi had never been rendered speechless like this before, hands resting on your legs as he just… Breathed. 

Hard. 

Heavy. 

You reached out for his wrist, squeezing it, thumb caressing his skin in a way that was soothing, as if he was the one that needed reassurance. It was enough to make him snap out of whatever trance he was under and lean down to lay on the couch, between your legs, and start to kiss the inside of your thigh. 

“Oh, fuck.” 

He had never heard you curse like that before, and it made him greedy to hear more of that. Yoongi trailed kisses on your skin, moving closer and closer to your pussy until he reached it. Yoongi didn’t want to overwhelm you, but he couldn’t really go slow, not when he was dying to taste you. 

His tongue slipped out of his mouth and dipped between your folds, licking a stripe all the way up. Your moan was worth it, your taste was better than he could have expected. 

“How’s that?” Yoongi checked in with you, peppering kisses all over your lips before moving his tongue up and down your soaking cunt. 

“That–shit, I– my god, Yoongi!” 

“That good, huh?” he chuckled close to your pussy so you would feel the vibrations and it made you arch your back. 

“Can you just– keep going?” 

Yoongi looked at you from between your legs, noticing the lip worried between your teeth, your half lidded gaze, the hands resting on your lower stomach as you squeezed the suede fabric of your dress. 

His hands slipped under your thighs and he pulled you down with strong arms, making you squeal and cry out as his mouth latched onto your pussy and he ate you like a man starved. Yoongi was good at it, if he said so himself, and he was about to prove it to you. 

His tongue was quick and purposeful as he explored your pussy, teasing your hole with little circles, only to drag all the way up to your clit. He was drinking from you, swallowing hard, using his lips and tongue to make you feel good. You weren’t able to stay quiet, it seemed, hips starting to rock at their own accord. 

“You taste so fucking good.” he told you, and it was true. 

“You feel really good, too.” you admitted with a long, dragged moan. 

His lips formed a pout around your clit and Yoongi held it there, sucking softly with rhythmic movements of his tongue around it. That’s when your hand grabbed onto his hair and you held on for dear life, keeping him there. Not that he would dare move as your moans and the clenching of your cunt under him were telling him you were close. 

It was more than a little exciting, to know he was the first to taste you, the first to make you unravel like this, the first person to make you cum. In a way, even if nothing serious came out of this, Yoongi would still forever be your first. He hoped you’d always remember him like this, with his face shoved between your legs. A more selfish part of him hoped no one would ever be this good to you, no one would make you moan and cry so loud that the neighbors might hear. 

Yoongi could worry about those implications later, for now he would focus on making you cum on his tongue. 

“Oh fuck, I’m so close, please don’t stop, please–” 

Your pleas and moans were desperate, making Yoongi almost start to hump his own couch just to find relief for his bulge that was already swollen and begging for attention. The sting on his scalp was painful, but he loved it, especially because it meant you were enjoying yourself. 

Yoongi’s sole focus was on your clit, drawing quick circles with the flat of his tongue, until a cry of his name made his ears buzz and his eyes roll to the back of his head as you started trembling underneath him, your orgasm washing over you. Your thighs closed around his head, keeping him there, and he continued to lick you through your climax, a little gentler this time, so that you could enjoy that feeling for as long as possible. 

Only when your hand dropped from his hair and your legs fell open, did he stop. 

You were both breathless when Yoongi pulled away to lay down next to you. He was so drunk on you and your taste on his lips that he didn’t let his overthinking get the best of him. Yoongi simply pulled you into his chest, and you willingly clung to him, laying on your side, as you tried to regulate your breathing. 

“If that’s how it always feels, I’m really fucking mad at myself for not doing this before.” you giggled, but it was muffled by his chest. 

“That’s how it always feels with me.” Yoongi pointed out, letting himself brag. “Unfortunately, most guys out there don’t know where anything is.”

“Oh.” you looked up at him with somewhat wet eyes and red bitten lips. “Well. I might just keep coming back to you, then.” 

“That’s fine with me, doll.” 

OCTOBER 11TH | 16:05

If one wanted to find Min Yoongi, chances were, he’d be in his studio. His workspace, located in a tall building in Yeongsan, was where he spent most of his days, including weekends. The studio, affectionately named Genius Lab, had everything Yoongi needed; his desk filled with the best equipment for recording and producing, a couch where he could nap whenever he was too tired to function properly, a mini fridge where he kept a few drinks and quick snacks, and dark decor and lighting that made the space entertaining and homey enough. 

On a good day, he’d be in the zone. So focused on whatever he was working on that day that the world could be falling to pieces outside of his soundproof walls, there could be a zombie outbreak, and Yoongi wouldn’t even notice it. 

But then there were days like today. 

Yoongi had been going over the same verse for what felt like the thousandth time and he simply did not like how it sounded, his metaphors weren’t good enough, the flow was weak. And the producer, lyricist and rapper wasn’t the kind to just easily move on to the next project, come back to this later with a clearer mind. No, Yoongi would obsess over something and only actually move forward once he fixed what needed fixing. 

His back was killing him from being hunched over his keyboard for the last however many minutes, his neck felt stiff, and he was stressed. Grabbing for his phone on his desk, Yoongi noticed two things. 

Firstly, it was the middle of the afternoon already, when he thought it was just after lunch, so maybe he was stuck on this one song for longer than he hoped. 

And, secondly, Yoongi missed you. 

Now, he didn’t have it that bad for you that simply looking at the time reminded him of you, no. But your face was the image that greeted him when he awoke his sleeping phone, staring back at him, right on his screen background. Again, he was that obsessed to have made you his wallpaper, you had done it yourself, just five days ago, in what he was sure was supposed to be a joke, a lesson to not leave his phone unattended next to you. 

Yoongi just didn’t have the time to change it back to the picture of his family dog just yet. 

Things between the two of you had been going steady for the past few weeks now, almost a whole month ever since you walked into this very room and asked him to help you learn things for your book. You saw each other a few times every week, either with your friends or just you and him, but something always happened. 

Either hidden kisses and stolen moments behind the boys’ backs, or you’d go to his apartment over the weekend and stay the night. Your sessions usually involved a lot of making out, some heavy groping, handjobs, fingering or he’d eat you out. You always had lots of questions for him, which he did his best to answer with examples and practicing time. 

Yoongi wondered if you were as affected by it as he was. Sometimes he asked himself if your yearning eyes, long lasting touches and sweet kisses even after you were done meant something to you as much as they meant to him. He didn’t think you were a cruel person to pretend not to notice how infatuated he was with you, but there were only so many times one could call another person baby or fall asleep holding each other, before one starts to wonder if there’s something more there. 

As Yoongi’s phone turned dark again, he wondered if you were busy. You lived fairly close to his work, everyone in the building pretty much already knew you, so he wouldn’t get in trouble if you came over. He could use a distraction, maybe you could have something to drink at the coffee shop downstairs, it’s been a while since you met there for an afternoon snack. 

To say that escalated would be an understatement. Yoongi didn’t message you with those intentions in mind, but after reading the text conversation again, he could understand how he sounded. The man was slightly awkward when it came to texting, much preferring calls or talking in person. You were always full of emojis and funny ways of communicating, which he thought was cute. 

But then again, Yoongi thought everything you did was cute. 

And he had exactly twenty minutes to get his shit together and stop acting like such a simp, as that was the time that it took for you to walk from your apartment to his studio. A little more than that if you were in your pajamas and had to change before leaving the house. 

At the knock on his door, Yoongi got up to unlock his studio and let you in, but before he could even say hello, you were throwing your arms around his neck and pressing your lips against his. Just a smack of your lips, but still enough to surprise Yoongi. 

“Hi.” you whispered with a little smile. You had never greeted him like this before, especially not in the middle of the hallway, where anyone could see. 

“Hey–” Yoongi finally snapped out of it as you slipped your shoes off and walked into the room, going straight to the couch. “I swear this isn’t a booty call.” 

He didn’t really know why he felt the need to reiterate his pure intentions, lest you think that’s the only reason he had to want you over. 

“I know, I was just messing with you.” you giggled as you folded your legs under yourself and Yoongi took a breath of relief. “I just guessed you either wanted to show me something new or a distraction from your genius creations.” 

Yoongi scoffed lightly as he walked back to his chair, dropping down onto it with a squeak. “Got nothing genius to share today, I’m afraid.” 

“New project giving you a hard time?” you asked, leaning forward and tilting your head as you watched him. 

“You could say that.” Yoongi nodded, bringing a thumb to his mouth to bite and pull at the little piece of skin that had been bothering him for the past hour. 

“Is it for the important meeting you have next week?” you asked as you pulled his hand away from his mouth and brought it to your own lips to kiss at the corner of his finger as you noticed how red it looked. 

And this shit right here, this is exactly what he meant. There’s no way you didn’t feel something for him, when you did things like these, right? Wishful thinking or not, it made Yoongi’s heart swoon and his cheeks feel hot. 

“Not at all, so I guess I have two reasons to be worried.” his laugh was void of amusement and filled with self-deprecation. 

“Oh, no.” you scrunched your nose, only now letting go of his hand. “Honestly, Yoon, you have no reason to worry at all. Not about the meeting, not about whatever project is being annoying. You’re great. You’re more than great, you’re the best producer I know.”

“Do you know many producers?” Yoongi challenged you with a cocked eyebrow, and this time his laugh was a little more real. 

“At least two.” you pointed out in a matter of factly way. “And don’t tell Hobi, but you’re my favorite one.”

“How can I be sure you don’t tell him the same thing?”

“I guess you’ll never know.” you grinned, white teeth behind a dark lipstick smile. Now that autumn was in full swing, your wardrobe and seasonal makeup were changing, it seemed. “Is that for Agust D or someone else?”

You were nodding at his computer screen behind him, which was still opened in the latest mixing program he used to add his vocals to the melody he already had.  

“That’s mine, yeah.”

“What’s the problem with it?” you got up from the couch, walking to the desk and leaning over it with your hands flat on the wood top. Yoongi turned his chair to face you, smiling at the lines on your forehead as you tried to figure out what all of the lines, splits and soundwaves meant. 

“Not sure I like it.” he told you with a long, dragged out sigh. 

“Can I hear what you have so far?” you asked as you turned to him instead of the monitor. 

And, the thing was, Yoongi never let anybody hear his songs before he was 100% happy with it. Not Hoseok. Not Pdogg. Not even Bang PD and that was his boss. But you were looking at him so expectantly, and you were always so excited to be one of the firsts to hear his music that he couldn’t say no to you. Ever. 

Yoongi nodded and your sweet smile was already enough to calm his nerves and ill intended feelings towards his music. 

Yoongi rolled his chair a little closer to you, so he could reach for his mouse and move the song back to the start so he could play it for you, but you took it as an invitation to sit on his lap. Not that he wouldn’t actually invite you if he thought it was an option. Which he didn’t. But he was glad that it was. 

The producer was also glad for the way that you so naturally fit there, sitting on his leg, one arm naturally circling his shoulders as his wrapped around your waist to make sure you were balanced. 

“What is it called?” you were asking, looking at him from so close that he could see the little freckle on your eye. 

“People.” 

Yoongi pressed the right button with the mouse and adjusted the volume of the song so you could hear everything as one and not be deafened by the bass that he was working on previously. The song sounded a little different from what he was used to putting out, like ‘Agust D’, ‘Give it to me’ or ‘The last’, which was probably the reason he was feeling so weird about it in the first place. 

It’s not that he didn’t like the song itself, but he was worried that it was not what people expected of him. 

You were nodding your head as you both listened to it playing, trying to school your features in an attempt to not let it show how you felt about it. But when it got to the chorus, you couldn’t hold back the smile that was pushed onto your lips as you heard him sing. 

Yoongi avoided looking at you after that, as his own smile was difficult to contain. 

When the song came to an end, you turned to him with the biggest grin, and Yoongi’s cheeks were puffed as she smiled at your reactions; internally rolling his eyes at himself and his inability of keeping a straight face when it came to you and his music. 

“So, what’s wrong with it?” you asked as the hand that was around his shoulders touched the back of his neck, nails scratching at his nape. 

“I–” Yoongi sighed, almost purred, relaxing into your touch, forehead resting on your cheek as he couldn’t help himself. “Don’t remember.” 

“That sounds more like it.” you giggled, wrapping the other arm around him as he did the same to your middle. “All you needed was to get out of your head a little, huh?” 

“I guess.” 

And you. He definitely needed you. To wordlessly assure him his song was good, to enjoy listening to it, making him laugh and breathe and stop overthinking. You barely did anything at all and yet it felt like so much. 

“Glad I could help.” you were smiling. Yoongi could feel it even if he couldn’t see it. 

“You always do.” 

“I can… You know?” you started softly, almost hesitantly, and Yoongi pulled back enough to look at you. Explaining, you said: “Help you.” 

“You just did.” he insisted, but Yoongi could read it in your eyes that there was something more. 

“No, I mean… This arrangement doesn’t have to be just for me.” your eyes dropped to his lips and Yoongi licked at his bottom lip on instinct, something inside him stirring into life. “I’m here if you need me. For whatever.” 

“Doll.” 

It was a warning, but Yoongi wasn’t sure of what. Was he warning you that he might say yes? That he might be falling for you? At this point it felt like it was too late to warn you about that last one. 

“Would you let me?” you asked, a little more steadily, hand touching the side of his face, thumb running across his cheek. “Let me take care of you.” 

“Okay.” 

“Can I kiss you?” 

Yoongi nodded, even if you didn’t even have to ask. This was dangerous, at least for the man, as kissing you was easily becoming one of his favorite things to do. He hugged you a little tighter as you started placing tiny kisses against his lips, just because. And then your mouth pressed against his, properly this time, and it stayed there for a while longer. 

You were dictating the pace and the intensity of the kiss, and Yoongi let you. He wanted to see how far you would take this, how you intended on taking care of him, so he followed your lead, moving his lips against yours only when you did so. Your tongue slipped past your lips to lick at his and Yoongi parted his mouth and chased yours.

Only for you to pull back with a teasing little smile and playful eyes. 

“What a greedy boy.” you whispered, the hand on his nape slipping into his hair. 

“Baby, please.” Yoongi heard himself saying, avoiding your eyes. 

“Hm. I like that.” with a stronger hold of his hair, you made his neck bend backwards. 

Yoongi gasped in surprise and asked: “When I say please?” 

“When you call me baby.” 

You were smiling against his neck as you kissed just under his jaw, teeth nipping at his skin and Yoongi wanted you to claim him just as much as he wished he could claim you. 

Yoongi’s hands were around you, squeezing you, pressing his fingertips as he tried to feel more of you. Your sweet smile was the last thing he saw when his eyes fluttered closed and you kissed his lips. Really kissed, squeezing his long hair between your fingers once more, slipping your tongue past his lips to lick at his. 

Your lips moved in sync, dragging over each other’s, with so much more familiarity than the first time you kissed, but the bat-like butterflies were still there. Yoongi knew the taste of your lips, and he knew you liked it when he sucked on your bottom lip or pushed his tongue deeper into your mouth to take control back.

Your little, breathy moan was swallowed by Yoongi as his hand dropped to your ass and he squeezed. 

“I’m supposed to be taking care of you, babe.” you said with a little whine and Yoongi’s body twitched with the new pet name. 

“How are you planning on doing that?” he challenged, staring at your swollen bottom lip, taking it into his mouth before you had the chance to reply. 

With a new moan, eyes closing shut, your hand slid down Yoongi’s body, between his legs, to palm his growing bulge. Yoongi hissed and let go of your lip, spreading his legs wider and shamelessly so you’d have more space to work with. 

“Let me show you.” 

With one last press of your mouths, you left his lap and sunk down to the floor, sitting on your feet between his legs, thighs pressed together as your small hands rested atop his. Yoongi’s breath got caught up in his throat as this was a sight he longed to see for longer than he’d ever openly admit. 

Up until this point in your arrangement, you hadn’t yet done what you were so clearly hinting at. You hadn’t reached that part of your book just yet, but it was just another proof that today wasn’t about your book, but about Yoongi. As long as you wanted it too, so he checked:

“You know you don’t have to, right?” his hand landed softly on top of yours as he caressed your smooth skin. 

“I want you, Yoongi.” 

The way you said those words made Yoongi believe in much more than what you were about to do right now. It gave him hope that, maybe, one day they would be true the way he wanted them to be. 

You scooted just a little closer to his legs, cheek rubbing on the inside of his thigh as you laid your head there, staring up at him with uncertain eyes that told him you weren’t quite sure what to do. But Yoongi didn’t hurry you, more than okay with following your pace, letting you explore and experiment. 

Just as long as he could keep looking at you like this. 

A gentle hand touched your face, tracing the curve of your nose, down to the shape of your cupid's bow, pulling gently on your bottom lip to see it part. You closed your eyes as you basked in his caresses, mouth opening to lick at the pad of Yoongi’s thumb making not only his breath grow heavy, but his dick twitch in his pants. 

“My pretty girl.” Yoongi’s words left him without much thought. 

“Yeah?” you sighed, eyes fluttering as your face pulled away from his legs and your hands reached for the waistband of his pants. “Are you claiming me?” 

Yoongi felt hot all over, in his cheeks, in his chest, toes curling inside his studio slippers. You had no idea just how badly he wanted to claim you, in every sense of the word. 

He lifted his hips higher as you pulled his trousers down his legs; not sure if this was the best day to not wear anything else under his soft cotton pants. It made your job easier and it cut back on the teasing, but when his cock sprung free, already hard and ready, your eyes widened slightly with overwhelming. 

You tried not to let it show, or maybe you were just a little more eager to see him bare, letting the pants fall around his ankles as he spread his legs just a little wider. Yoongi was past the point of feeling self conscious about showing himself to you like this, letting your curious eyes roam all of him, but this was a new angle for you, and he wondered what you were thinking. 

You held his cock from the base, raising a little on your knees to reach his tip. Your hand wrapping around him was familiar, he knew your grip, the feel of your smooth fingers. But the feeling of your lips dragging up his shaft was brand new, as was the wetness of your tongue as you licked at the tip. 

Yoongi pushed the backrest of his chair a little further back to recline it, hands holding tightly onto the arm rests on each side of him. Suddenly his shirt felt too hot as it started clinging to his chest, but removing it felt like too much for right now, even for him. 

You teased the slit of his cock with the tip of your tongue, swirling it around the crown, hand moving up and down slowly, as if you had done this a million times before, as if you knew what Yoongi liked. The slide of your hand was a little dry, so you pulled away from him to spit on your palm and make it better. 

Yoongi’s breath hitched and came out as a slow moan as you wrapped your lips around his tip once you returned to what you were doing, looking up at him as if asking if it was okay. 

“You’re doing so well, baby.” he told you in a raspy voice that made your eyes flutter. “Keep going.” 

You nodded, seemingly forgetting you had a cock in your mouth, which made it slide just a little deeper into your mouth. It made Yoongi moan a little louder as he felt more of the warmth of your mouth, and you liked that, sinking down just a little further until you both felt the moment he hit the back of your throat. 

You sputtered with surprise, pulling off of him as you held back a cough with a hand over your lips. 

“Easy, baby. Don’t want to hurt you.” he assured you with a fond smile. “You’ll learn to deepthroat with time.” 

“Wanna make you feel good, Yoon.” you pouted, bringing your lips to his cock again. 

“You are.” he nodded through half lidded eyes, fingers twitching on the arm rests as he controlled the urge to hold you by the hair or back of your head. “Just put it in your mouth. Suck a little.” 

You did exactly that, wrapping pouty lips around the tip, moving your tongue around it inside your mouth, hollowing your cheeks as you gave it experimental sucks. You hummed as his pre-cum dribbled out of him and onto your tongue, and Yoongi’s eyes rolled as he heard you audibly swallow. 

“Fuck, that’s it.” he cursed low and heavy. 

A little more confident, your lips dragged down his cock, pushing a little more of him inside, sliding on the flat of your tongue. Whatever you couldn’t fit inside –which was a lot–, you worked with your hand in tugs and strokes. You looked so perfect like this, spit coming out of the corners of your mouth, tears brimming your eyes, jaw probably aching to accommodate his girth. 

When you pulled out again it was in search of air, breathing as hard as he was. Your hand stroked Yoongi’s cock in that way you already knew he liked, closing a fist around the head as you twisted your wrist and pumped up and down. You were mouthing on his shaft, licking and sucking on his skin, tracing the engorged vein. 

Instead of making it up to the top again, your lips dragged down and down and Yoongi’s heart was in his throat. Your mouth was hot and wet as you took one of his heavy balls into your mouth, eyes on his face as if to ask if that was okay. 

“Shit, that’s nice–” he made sure to tell you, no longer able to control his hands on his sides. 

He held you by the back of your neck with a firm hold, squeezing  your nape to encourage you to suck a little harder, which he instantly regretted as it made his lower stomach tense. Yoongi tugged gently on your hair to pull you off his sac and it should be illegal how innocent and wide eyes you looked during such an act. 

“Sorry, did I hurt you?” you asked with a scratchy voice, which made you frown and Yoongi chuckle. 

“No, doll, that was too good.” he sighed a breathy gasp. 

“Oh.” you smiled, a little shy, hand never stopping the long tugs of his cock. With a giggle, you admitted: “I think I like sucking you off.” 

“Yeah?” Yoongi’s smile was still fond, despite the tension on his limbs and the sweat covering his body. “Think you can make me cum like this, hm?”

You nodded with vigor, not an ounce of doubt in your stance. Yoongi chuckled, but it would hardly be a challenge when you were getting him so close to his end already. 

A jolt of hot, white pleasure coursed through him as you mouth was on him again, fingers tightening on your hair as you covered your teeth with your lips as you sunk down and sucked harder as you pulled off. You started bobbing on his cock, pumping his shaft, fist connected to your lips to give Yoongi the feeling of being buried deep into your wet mouth. 

You started sinking lower and lower, not taking him all the way, but Yoongi felt your throat open and contract around him as you tried and tried to push him as deep as you could. Yoongi was a mindless mess, nothing else existed outside of his studio, nothing else mattered but the pure bliss you were inflicting on him. 

With droopy eyes, Yoongi watched you make a mess out of him, spit leaking from your mouth and covering your fingers and his cock. His cock was throbbing, painfully hard, twitching in time with his untamed moans that only made you keep going. 

Your free hand cradled his balls gently, squeezing as they felt heavier, drawing up as his lower stomach tensed. He wanted to hold your pretty face in place and fuck his cook deep down your throat, but it was much too soon for that. Instead, he just sat there, about to go insane with how good you were making him feel. 

Yoongi had no warning words for you, but you didn’t need them as you read the familiar signs of when he was about to cum; the pulsing of the fat vein on the underside, the twitches of his muscles, the groans and rough moans he wasn’t trying to contain anymore. 

Your lips stayed around his crown, tongue swirling and twirling around it with little sucks of your mouth as your fist twisted just under the tip. That and the harder squeeze of his balls was too much for him to hold back from. Yoongi felt his whole body flush, jolting with pure ecstasy that pushed him a little deeper, just as his orgasm hit him like a truck. 

He spilled inside your mouth with thick ribbons of white and you closed your eyes as you let him use your mouth. You were humming, he thought he heard it through his ringing ears, as you swallowed his load like a good girl. 

Some of it escaped from the corner of your mouth and you licked it clean after you pulled off of him once you milked the last drop of his release. Yoongi was breathing hard, with a stupidly proud grin on his face as you gave his softening cock little kisses. 

“Was that acceptable?” you asked with those innocent eyes again. 

“It was great, doll.” he nodded with a gummy smile, eyes closed as his hand dropped from the back of your head. “More than great. It was perfect.”

You were giggling as you stood up on wobbly legs, pulling Yoongi’s pants along. “I’ll believe you once you're not drunk on your orgasm.” 

“Ask me again in ten minutes then.” he laughed, settling his pants around his hips and reaching for you. 

“Does that mean I get to stay a little more?” you beamed, sitting on his lap, resting your red cheek against his shoulder. 

“You can stay all day if you want.” You could stay forever.

OCTOBER 19TH | 17:26

Yoongi avoided leaving his studio in the middle of his workday. Not only did he have deadlines he had to match, but it was his safe space. A place that more often than not felt like his home more than his own apartment. But he didn’t mind leaving Genius Lab if it meant he got to see you for an hour, share a cup of coffee in the place that meant so much for the two of you. 

The coffee shop across the street from the music company he worked for was the very place the two of you had met all those years ago. In an afternoon much like this one, where the autumn leaves were stuck to the wet pavement, a light rain was falling over central Seoul and the weather made you dress a little warmer. 

That day you had been searching for a change of scenery as you wrote what would soon become your first published book, and Yoongi was looking for a different background after staring at his computer screen all day. 

As he crossed the street, hands deep in his military-green jacket, hair partially hidden by a black beanie, Yoongi could already see you sitting at your preferred spot, by the big glass wall. Yoongi much rather sit deep into the shop, as the busy passers-by always posed a distraction to him whenever he tried to write lyrics outside of his usual set up. 

You, however, always said that you liked to watch people walking by, often getting lost in watching the life outside the café. You were both writers, he supposed. But while he wrote songs to sing or rap, you built worlds for people to get lost in. 

Yoongi could never do what you did. 

He was about to knock on the glass, wave at you to show he arrived and was coming in, but as a guy approached you and took your attention completely, Yoongi froze. He knew who the guy was, having been served by the man many times during his visits to the coffee shop. And he also knew that Kai had a not so secret and very obvious crush on you. 

Yoongi couldn’t blame the guy, he was in the same boat afterall, and you seemed oblivious to both of their infatuations with you. But it always rubbed Yoongi the wrong way, especially now. Even if he knew that this agreement you had going on gave him absolutely no claim over you whatsoever. 

In fact, it made Yoongi’s throat feel a little dry as he realized that he wasn’t just teaching you things you could use in your book, but you could also use in real life. With other guys. With guys like Kai. 

Not that hooking up with him –if he could even really call it that– would mean any great changes in your life. You were naturally flirty, but not obnoxiously so. And you were already confident, never afraid of speaking your mind, a social butterfly that made friends with anyone, anywhere. 

All Yoongi was doing was taking the pressure off. 

By sharing these experiences with you, all he did was make sure that your “firsts” were with someone you trusted, someone you wouldn’t regret down the line. Even if virginity was just a concept created by society to control and overpower women over the centuries and dictate their values, it was still kind of a big deal. 

But once you were done with that unnecessary pressure, you’d be free to have all of the one night stands and adventures that your heart desired. You said so yourself, you never had them before because that’s not how you envisioned your first time. 

Yoongi didn’t think that’s what you had in mind when you asked for his help, and he was positive you were focused on writing your book and that was it. But it didn’t mean that you wouldn’t realize this once you were done with the novel. Once you were done with him. 

“Hey!” the knocking on the glass, coming from the inside, made Yoongi jump. You were looking at him expectantly with that sweet smile of yours, a little wave as you called him in. "Aren't you coming?"

"Yeah, yeah." 

By the time Yoongi walked into the neutral colored coffee shop, Kai was already gone and you were closing the lid of your laptop, waiting for him to walk to you. 

The smell of coffee and fresh pastries attacked Yoongi’s stomach, reminding him he had skipped lunch; a fact you’d definitely scold him for if you found out. He’d order something to eat in a bit, Kai never spent too long without an excuse to go back to your table anyway, at least he could do some work while blatantly flirting with you. 

“What were you doing out there?” you asked him with an amused smile, looking cute in your mustard-yellow knitted sweater. 

“Thought I forgot my phone for a sec.” he lied, patting the device on his pocket just to make sure he hadn’t actually. 

“I highly doubt you would, that’s like an appendage to you at this point.” you joked, pushing the plate with an orange muffin towards Yoongi. “Here. Eat.”

“How–”

“How did I know you didn’t eat? Call it an educated guess.” you jutted out your chin, resting back against your chair and taking a sip of your drink. You were having a hot chocolate today, which wasn't surprising as it was your drink of choice whenever the weather started to turn cold. “I like to think I know you pretty well, Yoon.” 

“If you really knew me, you’d have coffee waiting too.” Yoongi grumbled, using it to cover the fact that the knowledge you had of him and his habits made him a little giddy. 

“Nope, not until you eat. I don’t want you developing stomach problems with the amount of caffeine you already drink.”

You shook your head, blowing on your hot chocolate before taking another sip. Yoongi listened to you, as he always did, and plucked pieces of the muffin to take into his mouth. This was his favorite baked good from this coffee shop, something he had never tried before you showed up in his life. 

Now it was his usual order, his guilty pleasure to indulge in whenever he had a craving for something sweet. It didn’t have anything to do with you, he always tried to convince himself, it was just another one of his habits. 

“Were you writing?” Yoongi asked as you seemed distracted watching a woman walk a small dog outside. The dog was wearing even smaller rain boots, which was no doubt the reason for your delighted smile. 

“Mhm, I’m making progress, thankfully.” you nodded, attention moving back to him. “Thanks to you.”

“You’re the writer, I’m not doing anything.” he shrugged noncommittally, swallowing the last piece of his muffin.  

“We both know that’s not true.” after noticing he was done eating, you looked at the counter of the shop, lifting your hand in a thumbs up that made Kai nod in the distance. “You’re helping me in an unconventional way, but you are.”

“As long as it’s really helping.” 

Not even a minute later, Kai was back at your table, greeting Yoongi with an ‘afternoon, hyung’ and placing a coffee in front of him. One Yoongi hadn’t ordered or paid for. You had a proud little smile pulling on your berry-lipstick-lips, raising an eyebrow as if challenging Yoongi to say you didn’t know him again. 

“I think I managed to fix most scenes.” you got back on the subject, leaning forward on the table with your elbows, holding the hot chocolate mug between your hands. 

“Already?” Yoongi was surprised to say the least, but he knew what it was like to be under pressure to make through deadlines. 

“Yes, but the first chapters are pretty tame, so.” you justified. “Nothing I really need to delete and start over.”

“Good.” 

Yoongi got a little lost on the way you brought your drink to your lips, watching as your lipstick left a stain on the rim of the mug. He wondered how good that color would look staining his skin instead; his lips, his neck, his chest. 

“What about you? How did that meeting go yesterday?” you asked him earnestly, reaching out to hold his hand on top of the table and Yoongi felt little shocks where your hands met. 

“Ah, it went well, yeah. Pretty well, actually.” a tight lipped smile turned into a gummy one as he said: “I’m going to be working with Jae-sang sunbaenim.”

Your scoff was pained as you frowned: “I’m sorry, am I so out of the loop that I don’t know who that is?”

“You know him as PSY.”

The squeal that escaped your lips was high pitched enough to catch the attention of the table next to yours, but you never minded that and this time Yoongi didn’t mind the looks from strangers either. 

“What?!” you hissed, a lot more contained this time. “No way!”

“I’m pretty excited about it, actually.” Yoongi let out a small sound of his own; one that sounded like a squeak as he wanted to get up and do a little dance. But he didn’t. 

“You should be! That’s huge!” your hold on his hand was a little firmer, smile a little brighter. 

Yoongi had worked with famous musicians many times before. The main part of his job was writing and producing for other artists, but that didn’t mean he didn’t have his own mixtapes, and his own collaborations with stars that be admired; like IU –much for Jungkook’s delight and Jimin’s panic–, Suran, MAX and Lee Sora. But none of those had the potential of really making it internationally as this collab with PSY had. 

“He wants me to feature on it, too.” he told you, and your jaw dropped. 

“Yoongi! That’s amazing!” your other hand reached for his and you held it between yours. “You deserve it so much. I’m so proud of you, I hope you know that.”

“Thanks, doll.”

“We should do something to celebrate.” you stated before he had the chance to deflect. 

With a shrug, and the desire to hold onto your hands for the next three hours, he said: “We’re having coffee at our spot, that’s good enough.”

“Not for a collab with PSY it’s not.” you sounded almost offended. “I’d say we should go to Serendipity, but you hate clubs.” 

“Please don’t make me go there again.” his laugh was one of suffering and despair, which made you giggle. 

“Oh! I know!” you chirped, letting go of his hands in order to clap excitedly, just once. “I’m going to cook for you!”

“I thought you wanted to do something nice–”

“Hajimaaaa!” you complained with another laugh, one so contagious Yoongi found himself mimicking. “Maybe I’ll order something from Jin’s restaurant then, and put it in pans and dishes, so you think I cooked.”

“Sounds good, doll.” Yoongi agreed, which was the easiest thing to do. 

“Perfect! It’s a date then.”

OCTOBER 21ST | 18:03

By the time Yoongi made it to his car, he had already opened and buttoned up his shirt all of five times. He did trust Jimin when it came to fashion choices, but not when it came to mischief. And that group chat screamed ‘dongsaengs up to no good’. But the two boys did make Yoongi feel good about his choice of clothing, how he did his hair and the little bit of makeup he added to his lids just to make them pop. 

He could only hope you didn’t think he was trying too hard. 

Even though he was. 

Even if this wasn’t a date. 

Yoongi’s routine each time he sat in his car was always the same: Sit down, make sure the mirrors were all in the right position, start the car, connect his phone to the bluetooth sound system, pick a playlist he was in the mood for, seatbelt, drive. But this afternoon as he drove out of the parking lot of his not-so-modest-building in Hannam, the soundtrack for Yoongi’s drive was the beep of a connecting call. 

“Hyung!” Namjoon’s voice was the one fill his car as the call was connected. “You know you’re the only person who even makes calls these days, right? A text would have been fine.” 

“I’m driving, can’t text.” Yoongi provided as he leaned a little further front to see that his road was free and he could go. 

“Oh. Ohhh, are you going to see our favorite writer for your celebratory date?” Namjoon’s all knowing tone made a tiny smudge of heat taint his cheeks, but at least he wasn’t there to see it and tease him about it. 

More to himself than to his best friend, Yoongi felt the need to clarify: “Not a date, but yeah, I’m on my way.”

“And you called me to get tips on her latest chapters?” on the other line of the call, Yoongi could hear Namjoon’s voice turning a little clearer, as if he’d closed the door of his office. “I just read the edited ones and damn, hyung! Who knew you had that dirty mouth–”

“That’s not– She doesn’t write what we do word by word.” Yoongi panicked for a second, thinking about not only Namjoon, but the rest of the world reading what the two of you had been doing. With a whisper, he hissed: “Right?”

“Don’t worry, I’m just messing with you.” Namjoon laughed and Yoongi shook his head, fingers relaxing on the steering wheel. “But she’s been doing well, I don’t have any new pointers for the chapters. She’s a lot happier too, it seems, and I don’t think the book is the only reason why.”

“You know, that right there is the reason I’m calling you.” Yoongi scoffed for no one to see as he drove out of his neighborhood and into the busy roads of Seoul. So much for avoiding rush hour when the capital was hustling 24/7. 

“What did I do this time?” Namjoon sighed on the other side. 

“Not this time, still the same thing.” he said. “Why did you put this crazy idea into her head?”

“Hyung. It's been weeks.” his best friend sounded tired, as if they went over this time and time again. And they had. 

“Over a month and I already regret this–”

“Do you regret accepting it? Or do you wish she never asked you?” Namjoon had a way of using hard phrases and poetic analogies sometimes, the perks of being an editor and a published poet, no doubt. 

“What's the difference?”

“Well, in one scenario you realize you work better as friends, and in the other it means you got it bad.”

“I got it so fucking bad is not even funny.”

Admitting that to his best friend was easier over the phone. Even if Yoongi knew Namjoon and all of their other friends also knew about it. It was a miracle that you didn’t, at this point. Unless you did, but had been ignoring it in order to not make things awkward. 

If that was the case, Yoongi wasn’t sure if he should be thankful or worried.

“Ahh, I see. So your feelings are growing impossibly fast and you're starting to feel bad because you don't think this means the same for her as it means for you?” Namjoon summed it up as Yoongi stopped his car at a red light. 

The trees were in full autumn colors, all shades of red, yellow and orange. If Yoongi rolled his windows down, he was sure he could smell the pumpkin spice and cinnamon in the air, which always brought him a nice, warm feeling inside.  

“Was this part of a master plan to get back at me for senior year?” Yoongi asked after a lightbulb moment.

“What?”

“You know, Jiheun?”

Jiheun was a girl Namjoon had a massive crush on, back when they were both in High School. And Yoongi might have read the signs wrong and told his best friend that the girl liked him back. Only for poor, string bean, bowl cut, awkward Namjoon to ask her out and get rejected in the middle of the school cafeteria. 

“Wha- hyung! Of course not, it's been years I’m not that petty.”

“Okay, okay.” not that Yoongi thought Namjoon would do something like this as they were both adults now, but his anxiety-filled-brain still asked stupid stuff sometimes. 

“Besides, I have a simple solution to your problem.” Namjoon stated.

“Do tell, because I'm almost at her place.” not completely true, he still had one more stop on the way to your apartment. 

“Have you thought about confessing?”

Yoongi’s answer was the love child between a wheeze and a snicker. 

“If you're not happy about this agreement, but you still wanna help her, and be with her for real,” Namjoon continued, seeing as Yoongi was too gobsmacked to reply. “Then tell her how you're feeling.”

“What part of that solution is simple?” Yoongi asked with a glare directed to the panel of his car, hoping Namjoon could feel its heat. 

“It’s simple because it’s telling the truth.”

“The truth that could ruin everything. Her book, our friendship–” Yoongi argued, being interrupted by his best friend:

“Are you so afraid of rejection that you would rather keep hurting yourself? You know this arrangement won't last forever.”

“I know.”

“And maybe she feels the same way.”

Yoongi’s fingers tightened against the steering wheel just a little harder as he said: “That’s a big fucking maybe.”

“Didn’t you say she’s been calling you babe and shit? And you like… cuddle now?” 

“Mhm.” 

“Those are good signs, hyung!”

He knew that, it’s been plaguing his mind for the past couple of weeks. But to hear someone else say it, someone as rational as he was, made him feel like maybe it wasn’t just wishful thinking on his part. 

As if the universe was on his side for once in his life, Yoongi found a parking spot right in front of Maybell Bakery. You had promised to cook for Yoongi tonight, but he said he’d bring dessert. And you really liked the double layered, pumpkin pie that was only sold during the month of october and was extremely overpriced, so he placed an order and paid a little extra for it to be done by the time he was able to pick it up. 

“Alright, I’m here. Gotta go.” 

“Okay. Call me if something happens, I’m invested in this.” Namjoon said and Yoongi could picture his little grin that would most likely poke a dimple in his cheeks. 

“You better be, you’re the one who threw me into this mess.” Yoongi took his seatbelt off, but didn’t move, waiting for his friend to hang up. 

“You fail to remember that she’s the one who asked you, I didn’t tell her to go after you.” Namjoon pointed out in that know-it-all tone that fit him so well. “If I’m being honest, I thought she’d go for Hoseok hyung and not you.”

“What?!” Yoongi frowned at that new piece of information, hand freezing on the way to his key to turn off the car. 

“He’s more… Dom, you know? That seems to be more like her type.”

“Great–”

Yoongi did take control with you, and he had his moments in bed before, where he had girls and guys begging for him to let them cum, but he wouldn’t define himself as a Dom. Not the way Hoseok was, Namjoon was right about that. 

“But she still went after you, hyung! That counts for a lot.” Namjoon tried to backtrack but the damage was done. 

“I know, okay.” Yoongi took a deep, calming breath that didn’t do much to quell his nerves; of seeing you, of considering the ideas Namjoon was planting in his mind. “Nice going on telling the kids about this, by the way. Jiminie and Jungkook were teasing me about this date.”

“First of all, stop stalling and get out of your car already.” Namjoon laughed on the other side and Yoongi nodded to himself. “And second of all, I didn’t tell anybody.”

“Then how did they know–”

“Well, hyung. Have you ever thought that maybe she told them? And she’s thinking of this as a date?”

Yoongi had not, in fact, thought about that possibility. Not only were you a lot closer to the three younglings –who were closer to you in age– than Namjoon, you usually told each other everything, seeing as Jimin had been your best friend since way before he even met you. 

So to say it gave Yoongi all kinds of butterflies, the simple chance of you telling your best friend and his boyfriend that you were having a date tonight, officially, would be an understatement. 

“Go get your girl.” 

Namjoon’s encouragement was the last thing he heard before leaving his car to pick up your pie in the bakery. 

On the drive to your place, Yoongi’s nose was being attacked by the fresh baked goods resting on the passenger’s seat of his car, as his mind was plagued with the thoughts of you and him. 

You, who had walked into his life by mere chance, and stayed in it from your own insistence, as Yoongi hardly made new friends. You, who had the most expressive eyes Yoongi had ever seen. You, who owned his heart in a tight grip and you didn’t even know. 

You, who were already waiting for him at the front door of your apartment as the elevator dropped him off on your floor. 

“You don’t have to call me to buzz you in everytime, Yoon, you know the code to the gate.” was the first thing out of your pretty mouth as you walked him into your apartment. 

“So, what, am I supposed to just let myself in?” Yoongi’s smile was easy as he slipped out of his shoes. “Why don’t you give me the key to your apartment while you’re at it?” 

You giggled as you said: “Because then you might come in and steal all of my tangerines.”

Yoongi was rolling his eyes at your words, pink cheeks as you called him out on his small addiction to the fruit. You reached for him after you locked the door of your apartment, raising on your toes to kiss his lips in that way that made Yoongi feel like you were something more. 

“You look so handsome tonight.” you told him so, a hand smoothing the black silk shirt he was wearing.

“Thanks. You’re always looking pretty.” Yoongi told you in an unbribed moment of boldness, making you smile sweetly, hand still on his chest. 

You were wearing a black sundress with a tiny red cherries pattern that was too light for the weather outside, but perfect for the toasty ambiance you kept your apartment in. 

“Thank you.” you beamed, walking deeper into your apartment and leading him inside. “What’s that you got there?”

“Can’t you take a guess?”

Yoongi saw you eyeing the cardboard box with the pretty fall themed design when he walked in, and there was no way you couldn’t smell the festive pie. But you were still playing coy, as you usually did whenever anyone gave you gifts or did something nice for you; never one who liked to assume. 

You and him were pretty alike in that sense. 

“I know what I want it to be, but that would be impossible, because I’ve been calling Maybell and they keep telling me they are booked for the double layer pumpkin pie until next year.” you told him with a pretty pout. Yoongi had just felt your lips, but he wanted more. 

Focusing on the matter at hand, he placed the box on top of your small kitchen counter and pushed it closer to you as he said: “Why don’t you open it, then?”

You did so, pulling apart the dark orange bow to open the box, letting out a high pitched squeal as you saw the pie. Yoongi’s mouth watered at the sight, he could only imagine your excitement. 

“Yoongi!” you gushed with a small jump. “How the hell did you do this?!”

“There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.” he said, not really calculating his words and offering you a tight lipped smile as he realized how he sounded. 

“Cheesy.” you giggled, but reached out to squeeze his arm. “Thank you.”

“What smells so good?” Yoongi deflected. 

“That would be the bulgogi!” you chirped, pointing to the pan in the oven. “We can eat in a bit, and I hope it tastes as good as it smells.” 

“Well, you’re making it, so I’m sure it probably won’t–”

“Than–hey!” you laughed at his joke, huffing as you pretended to be mad, which made Yoongi laugh along. 

You shook your head and walked to the fridge, opening it to grab a wine bottle that Yoongi could recognize the label of. It was the brand and kind that he used to have at home, alongside his many bottles of whiskey. 

“Should we open this? It’s supposed to go well with the food, according to Naver.” you offered, and your eyes were pleading. 

“I’m driving, doll. If you had told me you wanted to drink, I would have taken a lift.” it hurt him to say that, and Yoongi didn’t like the way it made you bite your lip, uncertain. 

“You can spend the night.” you told him, avoiding his eyes as you placed the bottle on the counter. Not moving to open it, but not putting it away either. “Or you can leave your car here and I’ll drive it back to you tomorrow.” 

You didn’t like driving in Seoul, Yoongi knew that. You did have a license, and you drove whenever you absolutely had to, but it wasn’t something you’d offer lightly. Not only wouldn’t he put you through that, but the option of sleeping over at your place tonight was an inviting one. 

You had spent the night at his place before, shared a bed, so it wasn’t the end of the world and wouldn’t make Yoongi spiral. But this was the first time that you’d share your bed. And somehow that felt like a new step you were taking in whatever this was. 

Yoongi moved around you to take the bottle opener resting on the counter behind you and you smiled at his acceptance grabbing the two wine glasses you had already left out. 

Once the drink was poured into the glasses, you made the move to sit on the small couch of your modest apartment and Yoongi followed you closely. 

Your apartment was a small one bedroom unit, with a tiny kitchen and small living room. Enough for a single woman living alone in Seoul. It was filled with creams, whites and a few pops of color here and there. Yoongi could already notice the pumpkin shaped candle holder on top of your center table, and the cookie jar that looked like a ghost on your kitchen counter. 

“I see you’re getting ready for halloween.” Yoongi pointed out.

“Oh, those have been out since October first.” you smiled, following his line of vision. You pulled a maple leaf printed cushion and rested it over your legs to sit comfortably.  “You have to see my room, it’s really cute.”

Yoongi chuckled, because he could imagine the sheets that must be in autumn colors, maybe some bunting and pumpkin shaped fairy lights. 

“I’m thinking I want to do Halloween differently this year.” you started again, softly swirling the wine in your glass.

“Yeah?”

“Mhm. Jiminie wants to go to Serendipity for costume night.” you were nodding as you told Yoongi of the plans. 

“Of course he does.” he mused. “What are you thinking about dressing as? Sexy Anne Rice again?”

“Oh my god, that wasn’t supposed to be sexy!” you giggled with a cute blush on your cheeks, hiding your eyes behind a hand. 

“The fang marks on your neck made it sexy.” Yoongi hadn’t seen you dressed in the costume that was supposed to represent your favorite writer, that would mean he actually went to the halloween party last year, but he got many selcas and pictures of the night. 

“Well, it was an homage to her Interview With a Vampire world.” you explained and he smiled, because that was just so you. 

“What are you thinking of changing this year?” he asked and you moved a little on your seat. 

“I’m thinking about a couple's costume.” you said, not looking at him, and Yoongi’s blood ran cold. “Maybe I’ll dress up as Agatha Christie. Now I just need to find my Poirot.”

“That’s, uhm–” Yoongi nodded, gaining time to drink a few long sips of his wine. 

How was he supposed to answer that? You were thinking of going to a club with someone else? Wearing a couple’s costume? You knew Yoongi didn’t go to clubs or parties, so you obviously didn’t mean you thought you and him should go together. It was easy to wonder if you were talking to someone on the side. 

On the side of what? Yoongi asked himself bitterly. It’s not like you two were dating in the first place. It was easy for him to forget about it, but you clearly didn’t. 

“Are you thinking of doing anything?” you pushed as the silence grew too thick. 

“Nah. My building might have trick or treaters again, so I’ll just give out candy.” he shrugged, bringing the glass to his lips. 

“I can help you with that!” 

“I’m sure you’ll find your Poirot by then and will be too busy for your friends.” 

That was a jab at himself, a way for him to get it through his head that that’s what the two of you were. You were just offering him help to be nice, because you were really nice. So nice you’d have anyone wishing to go to a club with you as your date. 

Yoongi included. If you asked him. 

“Yeah, we’ll see.” you sounded a little disappointed as you sipped quietly on your wine, but that could have been his own projecting. “So how’s the collab with PSY coming along?”

As you both sipped on your wine, Yoongi told you all of what he knew so far about That That. He’d have a meeting with the artist again this following week, to talk about their expectations and schedules, but he was staying positive. 

You were so excited for him, hanging off to his every word, asking questions and being so supportive of him and everything he did that his hunched shoulders turned a little straighter and his breathing got a little easier. 

There was no need to be worried right now, Yoongi decided, the more wine he drank, the further away the lump in his throat got. No matter what happened tomorrow, he still had tonight. 

“I really hope he makes you dance.” you were saying as you brought the dinner to the small table, making Yoongi scoff. 

“There’s no fucking way I’m dancing.” he told you with a squint, following you with the last of the banchans. 

“Oh, come on, you’d be so good at it!” you told him without an ounce of doubt, giggling as you turned to face him. “I’m sure you can move those hips!” 

Yoongi had a bowl of kimchi in one hand and another of fresh cabbage slaw in the other, so he had no way of protecting himself when you held him by the hips, making him turn this way and that as if you were proving he could dance. 

“Hajimaaaa.” he warned you with closed eyes and a laugh on his lips. 

“Admit it, you’d be great at shaking that ass!” you continued to sway him, both of your laughs mixing together as he was just trying to put the food down. 

“I will do no such thing.” 

With each step forward Yoongi took, you took one backwards, until you both reached the table and he could place the banchans down. His hands were now free, so he could take yours away from his hips and pin them to his chest. 

“Hajima.” he repeated, a little lower this time, as he could smell the wine on your breath from close to each other you were. 

“Or what?” you challenged with a pretty, innocent smile. 

“Or I’ll have to stop you myself.” 

“I think Min Yoongi is the greatest dancer this country has ever–”

Yoongi felt your smile against his as his lips pressed against yours, softly, but determined. He let go of your hands in order to hold both sides of your face as his lips moved against yours, tongue licking between your lips for you to part them for him. You were holding onto his shirt, little gasps leaving you as his tongue swiped at yours. 

Yeah. At least he had tonight. 

OCTOBER 21ST | 21:17

As it turns out, Yoongi did not have tonight. 

Towards the end of the dinner –which was delicious, by the way–, you started to grow a little restless. Too stuck in your mind at times, not really answering Yoongi’s questions as if there was something worrying you. And Yoongi knew not to push you, you’d tell him whatever was bothering you whenever you felt comfortable to do so. 

He knew something was really wrong when he got up to take the empty dishes to the sink and you didn’t try to stop him, nor did you move to help. You stayed in your spot, looking at the top of the table as if you were reading something really important there. 

And then it came, the three words that made Yoongi’s stomach drop: “Can we talk?” 

Yoongi left the dishes where they were, too nervous and hands too trembling for him to attempt to wash any of them. When he turned to you, you weren’t sitting at the table anymore, but standing in the living room, looking over at the city lights outside your window, arms around yourself as if you were trying to self soothe. 

“What’s up?” he asked you, voice wavering. 

“I’m not sure how I feel about this agreement anymore.” you were blunt and straight to the point. The dinner and the wine were trying to make a comeback, but Yoongi held himself together. 

“Oh.”

“I mean, I did learn a lot–I am learning a lot. Each time we… do something, it’s fun and nice and I really enjoy myself.” this is when you turned around to face him and it wasn’t fucking fair that you looked this good while you were about to break his heart. 

“Okay.” 

“Maybe you were expecting to have sex tonight–”

Hearing this made Yoongi take a couple steps to close the distance between you, but stopped short of touching you. “No, doll. Stop, you don’t have to do this. You don’t have to explain yourself to me, you know I’d never push you.”

“I know.” you nodded softly, avoiding his eyes, twirling the ring on your finger. 

“We can just drop everything, I told you from the start.” he assured you once more, having to stick his hands into his pocket to stop himself from reaching out to touch you. He’d never get to touch you again. Pretending this wasn’t hurting him, that his hands wouldn’t shake if they were out of his pockets, that the lump in his throat wasn’t back. “There’s no pressure. You’re free to walk away whenever you want.”

“Yeah, okay.” you sniffed, as if you were about to cry. Yoongi’s heart broke for a whole different reason. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright.” he shrugged, even if he was positive nothing would ever be right again. 

“It’s not. I really didn’t mean for this to happen… God, I’m so silly.” you chuckled, but it was a heavy one. You took a step back, both hands on your waist as you shook your head. 

“You’re not silly, you wanted to make your book better.” Yoongi supplied. 

He wondered if he should just count his losses and leave, walk away with the little bit of dignity he still had left, make this easier for you as well. And he couldn’t even drive home, not with how much wine he had. He could take a cab and ask one of his friends to come back for his car tomorrow; what annoyed him was that he couldn’t even have Namjoon do that as payback when the man didn’t drive. 

“Yeah, and what do I do?” you asked, obviously a rhetorical question as you laughed at yourself.  “I ask the guy I have a crush on to help me.”

“What–”

“As if that crush wouldn’t turn into feelings!” you continued, waving a hand in the air. 

Yoongi’s mind was a mess as he tried to make sense of your words. His voice came out as a high pitched sound as he asked: “Feelings?”

“I know I made this awkward. I’ll understand if you need me to step away for a little while.” you said, still not looking at him, still talking to yourself as you started walking from one side to the other, hands and arms making random gestures. “You know what, if anything, Namjoon made this awkward.”

“Doll.”

“He knows how I’ve always felt about you, and you know what he told me just this afternoon?” you looked at him then, but it was fleeting. “That I should just confess! As if that was so damn easy.”

Yoongi’s lips split into a grin and suddenly the weight was lifted. His stomach stopped turning, but the butterflies were still there. His cold sweat wasn’t of anxiety anymore and the trembling in his body was from excitement, not dread. 

“Doll.”

“Well, this is the last time I’m ever listening to that giant fool–”

“Baby.”

At the term of endearment your mouth closed and you looked at Yoongi with wide, sparkling eyes. He walked to you then, hesitance flying out the window. When his hand touched your face, you didn’t flinch or pull away from him, leaning into his touch. 

“Why are you doing this?” you asked softly, eyes closing, bottom lip pushing out. “Shouldn’t you be running?” 

“I should be doing exactly this.” Yoongi pressed his lips to your forehead and you let out a shuddering breath. 

“Yoon, it will only hurt more when you leave.” you pouted, and the producer guessed it was a good time to let you in on a little detail you seemed to still be missing. 

“What if I don’t leave, hm?” he lifted your face when you avoided looking at him. “What if I have feelings for you too?” 

“Well, that would be great, but–” you were about to start spinning again when you gasped. “Do you?” 

“Thought it was obvious.” he chuckled, gums out and everything. 

“Nuh-uh!” 

Your jaw dropped and you blinked slowly, kinda like a cat, letting his words sink in, the small brushing of his thumb on your cheek that dragged down to touch your bottom lip. Then your lips kissed the pad of Yoongi’s digit, he looked at your eyes to find nothing but joy. 

“Will you take me out on a date, then?” you asked, hands circling his torso in a hug. 

“I think we just had our first date.” Yoongi looked over his shoulder to the table where your dinner had been perfectly pleasant until the moment you got in your head. 

But Yoongi understood now why you were so restless, why you sunk in on yourself and barely touched your food towards the end of the dinner. He could imagine exactly all that had been plaguing your mind, as the same thing was running through his. 

“But I’ll take you on a second one.” he said, kissing your cheek. “And on a third one. And fourth one.” 

You were giggling and squeezing him as he kissed all over your face, just to hear more of your sweet noises. “Does that mean you’re my boyfriend now?” 

“If you want me to be.” Yoongi nodded, pulling his face away from yours so he could look into your eyes as he asked: “Do you want to be mine?” 

“I’ve been yours, babe.” your arms unwrapped from his middle so you could hug his shoulders. “You have no idea for how long.” 

“Let’s keep it that way, okay?” 

“Okay.” 

You were smiling as Yoongi held your face a little firmer, pressed his lips to yours a little harder. It was just supposed to be a celebratory kiss, really, one that marked the end of your arrangement and the start of your relationship. Until he swiped his tongue between your lips and you parted them with a moan. Your hands slipped into his hair, his dropped to your waist. 

The wet sounds of your mouths sliding together were turning Yoongi’s happiness and elation into pure desire, greed and desperation. You were his now. Properly. Truly. You were with him because you had feelings for each other, not because of a silly book.

With the way you were pressing yourself to him, as if trying to melt and mold the two of you into one being, he could guess you were feeling the same way. When you pulled your lips from his, they were red and slightly swollen, and your eyes were like a kaleidoscope, pulling him in, making him dizzy with all of your colors and shapes. 

“You wanna see my room?” you invited, making Yoongi’s stomach do a flip. 

“I do wanna see your Halloween decor.” he nodded with a grin. 

You smiled and took his hand with yours, palms and fingers slotting together as if they belonged just like that. You dragged him out of the living room, through the short hallway and into your bedroom, turning the lights on to let him see the space. 

Your bedroom followed the same color patterns as the rest of the apartment, lots of whites and creams, but the apricot orange bed sheets complimented the halloween decorations sprinkled here and there. Your double bed was pressed against the furthest wall, right under a high window. Your dresser was cluttered with makeup, an opened jewelry box, a few papers and your laptop. On the headboard of your bed, a string light with little white ghosts was hanging, which you turned on as soon as you walked into the room. 

Next to your bed, on top of the white nightstand, was a book, a case of wireless earbuds Yoongi had gifted you on your last birthday, and a printed picture of you and him. It had been taken months ago, by Hoseok and one of his many disposable cameras, but Yoongi didn’t know you had kept it. 

“Ah.” you said with a small laugh, wrapping your arms around Yoongi’s middle as you noticed what he was looking at. “I was hoping you might see that and realize I’m in love with you.” 

“You could have my face as a blanket and I still wouldn’t have realized that.” Yoongi chuckled, pulling you to his front and bending down to pick you up. “It’s nice to hear it, though.” 

You squealed as he lifted you with strong arms, biceps bulging in his tight shirt as you wrapped your legs around his waist and held on. Your gasp made him feel really good about himself. 

“Bed?” you offered with a smile and an eyebrow wiggle. 

“Bed.” 

Yoongi was nodding as he took the two steps to reach your bed, holding you with a tight grip until he sat down against your headboard. The little plastic ghosts clinked and poked him in the back of the neck as he settled with you on his lap, making you giggle. 

“Come here.” Yoongi urged and you complied. 

Your small hands were on his chest, sliding on the silk fabric until your fingers came in contact with the triangle of skin created by the three buttons he left open –per Jimin’s advice–. Each of your legs were on one side of Yoongi’s hips, straddling him as you sat right on top of him. 

“Did I tell you that you look pretty tonight?” you asked him as you dragged your nails on his skin, nose touching his, lips brushing together. 

“Did I tell you that you look pretty every night?” he countered, eyes closing as he took your bottom lip between his teeth. 

You mewled softly, chasing Yoongi’s mouth once he let go of your lip. Your kiss was heated, deep, full of tongue and little moans that grew louder and louder as you started to rock your hips back and forward, dragging your core on Yoongi’s erection, making it feel harder and harder with every slow sway of your hips. 

Yoongi’s hands were moving up and down your legs, slipping under your dress and growing bolder as you pushed into his hands when they settled on your ass. He squeezed the flesh, fingertips dragging on the tiny material that felt like lace under his touch. 

His hips flexed up at the same time that you pressed down and the pressure on your core must have felt good, for you to throw your head back with closed eyes and parted lips. Yoongi took that as an invitation to kiss down your jaw, covering your throat in kisses, choosing a spot at the side of your neck to latch on. 

“Yes, babe–” you breathed out, a hand slipping into his hair as if you were trying to keep him there. 

“Mine.” he growled against your skin. 

Yoongi licked your neck, as if preparing the skin to take his mark, sucking on the soft patch once he deemed it warm enough. Yoongi suckled hard enough to hurt, but you were lighting up with the sting, skin blooming with a red and purple bruise. 

“All yours.” you nodded breathlessly, moaning as your hips never settled. 

With one arm around your waist, Yoongi trailed kisses on the length of your shoulder, knocking the tiny strap of your sundress down. Your movement made Yoongi pull back a little to watch you push the other strap of your dress down, looking at him with an inviting bite on your bottom lip. 

He was looking at you, gaze boring into yours, as his hands moved from under your dress to climb up your ribs to touch your breasts. They felt so full and soft and perfect as he squeezed both on each palm, your lips falling open with a sigh as he pulled the top of your dress down. 

Your breasts spilled free and Yoongi groaned, looking at your pretty, perky and pebbled nipples, shade a little darker than your own skin. 

“My eyes are up here.” you giggled, but you weren’t able to mask your nervousness. 

“Mhm, and I love them too.” Yoongi nodded, but his gaze stayed where they were, watching the mounds of your breasts move as he cupped them both, rolling your nipples with his thumbs. You gasped and whined, which prompted the question: “Sensitive?” 

“Guess so.” you nodded shyly, nails scraping at his scalp. “My own hands never really did much, but guess your fingers–ooh.” 

You gasped, closing your eyes as Yoongi watched your face contort in pleasure as he pinched your nipples between his pointer fingers and thumbs. 

“My fingers?” he probed, just to hear more of your shaky tone. 

“I love them.” you mewled. “You have really sexy hands, did you know?” 

Yoongi chuckled, not thinking much as he said: “Yeah, I’ve been told.”

Your grasp on his hair tightened as you stared at him right in the eye, lines between your eyebrows as you frowned. 

“Only I can have them now.” you stated with a hint of possessiveness that made Yoongi shiver. “Just so you know.” 

“I know, doll.” he told you so with a little chuckle that didn’t last long as his mouth met the heated skin of your collar bones. 

“Yeah?” you whined, squeezing his hair between your fingers. 

“Mhm, I’m all yours.” he told you in hopes of quelling your worries, even though your jealousy was hot. “And you’re all mine.” 

You whispered a tiny ‘okay’ that turned into a moan as Yoongi kissed his way to your breasts, choosing a nipple to latch on. His lips wrapped around the bud and he sucked it into his mouth, dragging his tongue around it to hear you make more of those delicious sounds, just for him. 

Pushing your chest harder against his face, you resumed the rocking of your hips, making him groan around your nipple, pulling off of it with a pop. As Yoongi switched to repeat the same treatment with your other nipple, you started to unbutton his shirt, button by button, getting a little worked up when your trembling fingers took longer to pop one open. 

“Can you lay down for me?” Yoongi asked as his kisses changed direction and his hands squeezed your hips. 

“Are we really doing this?” you asked with a nibble on your bottom lip, which made Yoongi pause. 

“We don’t have to, if you don’t want to.” 

“No, no, I do, just… Don’t want you to think I asked to be your girlfriend so I could get in your pants.” you reasoned, making him laugh. 

“Shouldn’t I be telling you that?” he mused. “You’ve been in my pants, baby.”

“Ahh, yeah, okay.” you giggled sweetly, moving off of his lap to keel on your bed. 

“Cute.” 

Yoongi was smiling like a fool in love as he moved to give you space to lay on your pillows, in the middle of your bed. While he pushed his shirt off his arms and let it fall on the floor, you pulled your sundress off the rest of the way. Yoongi’s breath got caught as he looked at you like that, for the first time, only a flimsy pair of panties on, which you removed even before you laid down for him. 

He wanted to tell you that you were absolutely perfect, gorgeous all over, but the way you spread your legs for him, as your hands rested on your lower stomach, lip worried between your teeth, Yoongi didn’t know any words anymore. 

Except maybe ‘want’ and ‘now’. 

Yoongi was lowering himself between your legs, laying on his stomach as he kissed your inner thighs, sucking on the signs of your arousal that he found there. You smelled so good and looked so wet that he couldn’t resist bringing two of his fingers to your pussy, spreading your lips so he could see all of you. 

You mewled as your back arched off the mattress, spreading your legs even wider for him. 

“You’re so tight, baby.” he teased as the tips of his fingers circled your little entrance, watching as it clenched at his words. “How am I ever going to fit here, hm?” 

“Been wondering the same thing, if I’m honest–” you chuckled breathlessly, hands falling to grab onto the comforter under you. 

“I’ll be gentle.” Yoongi told you as his middle finger pushed deeper inside you, just the tip, pulling it out to bring it to your clit. “Stretch you nice and slow at first.” 

“Yoongi–” you moaned as he flicked your bundle of nerves. 

“Gonna have to fuck you over and over again, so your body understands you’re mine.” he told you so, fingers touching you all over as his lips met your lower ones. “That okay with you, doll?” 

“Mhmm, so okay.” 

Yoongi’s fingers dragged down to your clenching hole again and stayed there, teasing your entrance, collecting more of your wetness, pushing in slowly but retrieving whenever your moaning became pained. Yoongi didn’t want to hurt you, he wanted you to feel nothing but pleasure and love. 

The flat of his tongue met your clit, lapping slowly and repetitively, until your moans became those of enjoyment. Once he was sure you were relaxed and content, Yoongi pushed the fingers into you again. He could feel your walls stretch to accommodate the digits, cock complaining inside his pants for being so constricted as all he wanted was to be buried inside you. 

The more he sucked on your clit, the more you moaned and moved your hips in little circles, pushing his fingers deeper and deeper inside you. You were growing wetter and wetter and Yoongi was swallowing every sweet drop you gave him. 

“How do you feel?” he asked quietly, between rubs of your clit with the tip of his tongue. 

“Doesn’t hurt as much anymore… Better than I thought.” you told him with a little whine. “Want more, babe.” 

“Yeah? Think you’re ready for me?”

“Born ready!” you chirped with a little drunk giggle and the nodding of your head. “Please fuck me.” 

Yoongi hummed and left one last kiss against your clit, which made you squirm and squeal. He pulled his fingers out of you slowly, scissoring them apart for good measure, to stretch you around them so you could take his cock. 

You moved up a little on your pillows, from where you had slipped down with all your squirming, attentive eyes watching all of him, making him grow a little shy. Yoongi could read the desire in your eyes, you wanted him as bad as he wanted you and it was making him fluster a little, neck and chest feeling a little hot. 

As he pulled his wallet from his back pocket you asked: “Are you buying anything right now?” 

“I’m getting a condom, doll.” Yoongi laughed at your wide eyes as you understood. 

“We don’t need one.” you told him while sitting up to touch his stomach and chest, kissing his lower belly as your hands got to work on his belt and button. “I’ve been on the pill since we started this.” 

“A–are you sure?” his stammering was what made you giggle no doubt. 

With your little nod, Yoongi let his wallet drop to the floor where his shirt lay discarded and helped you push his pants and underwear off in one go, baring himself to you just as you were to him. You smiled sweetly and playfully licked at his tip, sending a rocking shiver all over his body. 

“Jesus–” he hissed, taking a finger under your chin to make you look at him. “Lay down.” 

“Be gentle.” you begged with a pout, which Yoongi kissed. “Go slow.” another kiss, one that became a dragged moan as your hand wrapped around his shaft. “And make me cum all over your big cock–”

“Okay, lay down, now.” 

Your giggle was high pitched as Yoongi pinched your sides and had you squirming away from him to lay down on the bed. The man pushed your knees apart so he could lay on top of you, between your legs, heavy, painfully hard cock resting between your warm and slippery folds, making you both moan. 

Your arms wrapped around his neck, nails and fingertips dragging up and down his back as he pulled you into a kiss. Yoongi kissed you slowly, deeply, full of passion and want and need. Your lips moved together as your tongues clashed with one another, breaths fanning each other’s faces. 

When you started to move your hips back and forth, rubbing yourself on his cock, Yoongi moaned into your lips and you took his bottom one into your mouth to suck on and drag between your teeth. 

His hand ventured between your bodies to stroke his cock a few times, teasing himself, pumping him to make him drip beads of pre-cum on your lips. He brushed the tip between your folds to open you up to him, leading his cock to your entrance. You started breathing harshly, so Yoongi kissed your cheek and jaw to relax you, whispering praises that made you calm down. 

“I promise it won’t hurt as much as you expect it to.” he told you and you hit him with a snort that screamed ‘how would you know?’ which made him bite back a little smile. “I’ll be careful. You’ll be begging me to fuck you harder in no time.” 

“Fuck, okay, I like that.” you writhed under him as he pressed his thumb to your clit to distract you from the sting as he pushed his cock into you, just the tip, breaching you for the very first time. “Shit, that’s– a lot.” 

“Just breathe, you’re doing so well…”

Yoongi was holding himself up with an arm, chest pressed against yours, your body so small in comparison to his. Your small hands were on each side of his neck, your lips pressed against the side of his face as you let out the prettiest little sounds. 

He was gentle with you, just as he promised, allowing you to get used to him, while holding back from taking you as he wanted. You felt so warm and so fucking tight, wet as slippery as he pushed in little by little, listening to your moans and stopping whenever you showed any signs of discomfort. 

Yoongi could feel you clenching around him as his cock throbbed inside you and he made the mistake to look down, where your bodies met, and he saw the way your cunt was swallowing him, swollen clit and puffy lips. 

“You’re amazing.” he told you as an afterthought. 

“Pretty sure you’re doing all the work–” you managed to croak out. 

“I’m sorry it hurts, baby.” he leaned down to kiss the frown between your brows, the pout on your lips. 

“It feels good.” you whispered against his lips as they found yours. “Just feel so full, but it’s nice.” 

“Yeah? Can I move a little?” 

“Mhmm, you can.” 

With desperation, you parted your mouth to take Yoongi’s lips and he kissed you back, the hand between the two of you easily finding your clit to rub it in small circles as his hips pulled out and then fucked him back in, making you cry out. The more you moaned, the more he rolled your clit to distract you and little by little you opened up to him, making the slide in and out a little easier. 

Soon he couldn’t see any traces of pain in your pretty face, and that’s when he started to let go of his own restraints, starting to fuck you in a quicker pace that would catapult him into a different dimension with how hard you were squeezing him and how deep your nails were sinking in on his skin. 

Your body was rocking with each fuller thrust and harsher pace, little cries of yes, yes, yes! letting him know that it was okay and you could take it. 

“You feel so good, baby–” his voice was broken as his hips snapped back and forward. “I didn’t think anything could be better than your mouth, but–” 

“Good to know you liked my blowjob so much.” you bantered, a dopey smile on your lips. “I can suck you off anytime you–fuck, Yoongi!” 

Instead of fucking in and out of you, Yoongi tentatively rolled his hips, pressing deeper and harder, and you seemed to like that, wrapping your legs around him to keep him close to you. 

“Like this?” he gruffed next to your ear. 

“Yeah, right there–oh my god, the fuck is that–” 

Yoongi couldn’t help but laugh as his cock started to repetitively hit your g-spot with each new shallow thrust that was still enough to make you bounce under him, some so strong that it made the little ghosts on the headboard shake. 

“I’m gonna cum, babe, please–!” 

You warned but he already knew it. Could feel you squeeze him impossibly tight, walls milking him for his own release, but he wouldn’t get there before you did. His thumb rolled your clit in quick figure eight movements, despite the tight fit for his arm between the two of you, as his hips pulled almost all the way out, only to snap back in and roll against yours. 

The noises of the creaking bed under your combined weights and the skin slapping against skin only lost to your loud yelp as you let go and your orgasm washed over you. Yoongi’s mouth latched onto your nipple to suck and you trembled all over, twitching with the aftershocks as your climax lasted and lasted. 

Your cunt was clamping so tight, sucking him in so strongly that Yoongi couldn’t even pull out of you, he just stayed there, letting your pussy milk his orgasm out of him. You both moaned together, bodies sticking with sweat, hugging each other for dear life as Yoongi filled you up. 

As your breathing calmed down, Yoongi stayed close to you, peppering kisses all over your face. 

“I love you.” he finally told you, hearing your tiny chuckle of bliss. 

“I know.” 

“Do you, now?” he laughed, pulling out of you slowly to fall onto the bed next to you, trying not to crush you with his weight. 

“Mhm. You wouldn’t fuck me this good if you didn’t.” you grinned, trying to mask a wince as you were empty again, legs closing shut to keep his mess inside.

“You’d be surprised.” Yoongi joked, which earned him a slap to the chest. 

“Stop making me jealous!” you whined, but couldn’t hold onto your pout as you laughed. 

“I didn’t know you were so jealous, doll.” 

Yoongi got up from your bed, not bothering to put his clothes back on as he left your room to walk into your bathroom. There he found more makeup bits, perfumes he knew well, and a vampire soap dispenser that made him laugh. 

“You have no idea how many times I had to tell Kai you were straight.” you were saying as Yoongi looked through your cabinet to grab a clean towel, almost hitting his head on the marble top as he heard you. 

“Wait, what?” 

Once the small tower was wet, and his dick was properly clean, he made it back to your room to find your abashed little smile. 

“You know Kai, the guy from our coffee shop?” you said as if it should be obvious. “He keeps hitting on you, but you’re always clueless. So he keeps asking me what’s your deal and I always tell him you don’t like boys.” 

“You’re kinda right, I just like you.” 

Yoongi couldn’t help but be amused about this new development, but as long as Kai was into him, Yoongi wouldn’t have to worry he might be into you. And it offered many opportunities for him to make you a little jealous, maybe a little more possessive over him. 

Not that you ever had anything to worry about, as far as Yoongi was concerned, he’d belong to you for as long as you wanted him. 

He got back to the bed and helped you pry your legs open, just so he could clean the mess the two of you had made together, both choosing to stay naked as you pulled him back to lay down next to you. 

You were laying on his chest as you said:

“That was so good, Yoon.” 

“Yeah?” he squeezed you a little tighter against his chest, lips pressing to the crown of your head. “Better than the pie?” 

“The pie!”

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stretch you out | knj. & jjk. (m)

banner by the lovely kiri @rkivian !! <33

➵ summary: you have a plan for your crappy, diabolical ex who’s set on ruining your life; making him jealous by snagging a raunchy photo with two hot employees at the gym. what you didn’t have a plan for? befriending the mischievous pair to aid in your revenge and ending up underneath not just one, but both of them.

➵ pairing: gym employee!namjoon x f. reader x gym employee!jungkook

➵ genre: college!au, strangers to friends to lovers!au, porn but with plot :), the dIRTIEst smut, fluff

➵ rating: 18+

➵ word count: 24k

➵ warnings: swearing, toxic masculinity (the ex), heavy making out, sexual tENSION, explicit sexual content, threesome <3, dom!namjoon & jungkook, sub!reader, big dicc!namjoon & jungkook, praising!! with a side of humiliation/degradation, use of slut, breast fondling, dirty talk, size kink cause this features our bIG BEEFY VIRGOS, delicious amounts of teasing, lots of ear-licking/sucking, pussy fondling, pussy-eating, clit play, finger-sucking, oral (m. receiving) x2, spanking, hair-pulling, ball-fondling, deep-throating, face-fucking, fingering, swallowing, unprotected sex (pls be safer!!), begging, roughhh sex, voyuerism, exhibitionism, slight possession kink, facial hehe, multiple orgasms, cum-eating, face-sitting/riding, double penetration, spitting, creampie, aftercare <33

➵ a/n: YAYYY it’s here!! this was supposed to be me namkook september birthday gift but ugh life really got in the way! pls forgive me and enjoy, your feedback means the world to me <3 ALSO thank you endlessly to @rkivian for creating this pretty banner for me!! (pls excuse mistakes i did not have a beta pFT)

“Hobi, you know I’m not gonna do that.” 

“C’mon, Y/N, it’s the only solution.” 

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Over The Odds Collection *completed*

ceo!jungkook, sugardaddy!jungkook, smut, angst, fluff, S2L

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“The Library Keepers: Jamais Vu” - Prologue / Teaser

Word Count: 1,524

Genre: Sci-Fi / Fantasy / Action / Adventure / Humor

Rating: Explicit…eventually 🔞

Summary: After two years of being stationed on Space Station Baldur, you’re not really expecting anything exciting to happen anymore. With little by the way of scientific discoveries, you and your team are getting a bit restless. Sent out on “special assignment” with Mission Specialist Kim Namjoon, you really aren’t expecting to find (or even see) much of anything.

What you do find is something beyond what either of you could’ve imagined.

From the dark side of the moon. I know that it’s sad, but it’s true. I’m tryna get home. I’m a spaceman. 🎵

You groan and smack the off button of the ship’s sound system, sending a glare your colleague’s way. To his credit, a sheepish grin tugs at his lips.

“I forgot that was on the playlist,” he admits, scratching at his chin as he adjusts in his seat, tugging at the legs of his spacesuit to get more comfortable. He redirects his attention to the front window and you follow his gaze, taking in the vast expansiveness in front of you. On and on for miles, there’s nothing. Absolutely nothing but darkness and faraway stars.

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Mixtape | Series Masterlist | myg (m)

❀ Pairing: Yoongi x f. reader 

❀ Summary: Growing up with Yoongi as your older brother’s best friend was bound to manifest a crush. It was small, fleeting. Gone with age and time. On a holiday trip to the cabin, you’re reunited with Yoongi after not seeing him from two years. Maybe that crush wasn’t as over as you thought it was.

❀ Word Count: 68,554

❀ Genre: Older brothers best friend, f2l, a lil’ angst

❀ Rating: 18+ Minors are strictly prohibited from engaging and reading this content. It contains explicit content and any minors discovered reading or engaging with this work will be blocked immediately. 

❀ Disclaimer: All members of BTS are faces and name claims for this story. This is entirely a work of fiction and by no means is meant to be a projection, judgment or representation of real-life people. Any scenarios or representations of the people and places mentioned in works are not representative of real-life scenarios.

Masterlist | Ask | Playlist |

Chapter One

→ In which you re-unite with your friends after two years, dragging up old memories, good and bad, and in which Yoongi gets just a taste of what he has been missing.

Chapter Two

→ In which you and Yoongi end up sharing a room in Jungkook's desperation to get laid.

Chapter Three

→ In which you and Yoongi ride the high and enjoy the moment - except you get stuck in a closet with him while your brother is on the other side of the door.

Chapter Four

→ In which it all comes crashing down, and theres no way around, only through.

Extra Chapter

→ Celebrating Agust D is your new favorite pastime

Extra Chapter

→ Yoongi visits you in your city and everything goes wrong

Extra Chapter

→ Yoongi can't stop thinking about the lost cat outside your new apartment

fool for you ~ jjk | m.list

summary: When Jungkook is finally single, you shoot your shot.

✨ title: fool for you - mini-series | ✨ pairing: jungkook x f!reader ✨ total word count: 24.9k | ✨ rating: r ✨ genre/au: fluff, angst, romance | college, fake dating, strangers to friends to lovers ✨ warnings: alcohol consumption, language, soft boyfriend vibes jungkook (yes, it’s a warning), hand holding, kissing, peer pressure, reader gets drunk (pls drink responsibly), mentions of (cheating, sex, fingering, throwing up), smol kisses, jungkook is v suggestive, banter, light touching, sexual innuendos, long hair yoongi shows up for a like a split second, jungkook is a sweetheart, mild jealously, flirting, jungkook + reader are insecure, miscommunication, jk is a sweet dummy, but we love him anyway, jieun is just as insecure as reader and jungkook (yes, i'm trying to make y'all feel bad for her), confessions, taehyung's a good friend, time skip, jin's shoulders (you'll understand when you see the photo), yoongi shows up again, making out, marking, a smol not so smol erection 🙈, groping, touching ✨ playlist | ✨ have questions or want drabbles? drop them here.

✨ part one | wc: 1.8k

when jungkook is finally single, you shoot your shot.

✨ part two | wc: 4.0k

jungkook won't give up until you say yes.

✨ part three | wc: 5.7k

jungkook wants to go to another party, but you have other things in mind.

✨ part four | wc: 5.5k

the end of the year carnival causes some jealousy and insecurity.

✨ part five - final | wc: 7.7k

you have to decide if jeon jungkook is perfectly wrong for you.

✨ drabble; the first date | wc: 974

Jungkook takes you on a first official date as boyfriend and girlfriend.

—hot boy bummer. (m)

⟶ pairing: jungkook x reader 

⟶ genre: fuckboy!jungkook / friends with benefits / friends to lovers + smut  

⟶ words: 14,633

⟶ rating: 18+ 

⟶ summary: when jungkook offers you a proposition of just sex, no strings attached, how can you possibly say no? after all, what are best friends for?

⟶ warnings: kind of a crack fic, sprinkle of angst, way too casual conversations mid-sex, jealous jungkook, slight himbo jungkook tbh (he’s kind of a sweet loveable idiot), he also has a big dick oops, man bun and blonde jungkook to feed my fantasies!, multiple smut scenes!!!, missionary, dry humping, oral sex (m receiving), face fucking, unprotected sex, slight degradation (mostly jungkook hating himself), brief name calling, light choking, sort of praise kink

⟶ note: this was inspired by a number of things but mainly do me by kim petras being on jungkook’s spotify playlist, this tiktok sound, and this tumblr post lol also big thank you to @bratkook​ and @onherwings​ for letting me ramble on about this fic and reigniting my inspo for it 💛

( p.s. i tried to proofread this but if y’all see any typos no u didn’t, thank u <3 )

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Baby Got Back!!

Synopsis; Jeon Jungkook has the fattest fucking crush on you meanwhile Jimin and Taehyung don’t find you too hard to look at either. Now Jungkook has to find a way to confess his feelings, maybe even show you,  before the other two find their ways into your pants during your “staycation”. 

Warnings; series, eventual (almost immediate) smut, pining, the boys are horny they talk a bit raunchy about you, big dick!jk (they call it small tho they're just bullying) ,first chapter is pretty tame, you canonically have a nice booty <3

chapter. 1 , 2, 3, 4 , 5

Jungkook hated it when you were around.

You were just so fucking nice, so pretty. He could barely think around you.

The best days were when you decided to let Jimin drag you to lunch along with him and the other two boys. 

“Wait, you’re really leaving us for a whole week? Whyyy,” Taehyung whined, leaning into your side, wrapping his arms around your waist to pull you closer. They were all so comfortable with you, Jungkook had no idea how. He knew he’d combust if he was in his friends position, especially with the way you were running your fingers through his hair. 

Was it weird to wonder how you smelled right now?

“ Not even a whole week!” you say, giggling a bit when Tae groans at you pushing him off you a bit, “My parents really wanted me to come home for like three days, you’ll live.”

“You promised you’d come with us this weekend,” Jimin puffs, pushing cerulean strands away from his eyes, “I already rented our Airbnb and it was expensive as shit! If you don’t come I’m just gonna assume you hate me,” 

It was so hard to focus on the conversation, with the way his friends were sandwiching you between them. He looked down, knitting his eyebrows and running his tongue along the side of his cheek. He kept his eyes on his plate when you said you had to leave early and pushed out a small ‘bye’ when you squeezed his shoulder on your way out.

“Kook, you can stop crying now,” 

“I wasn't!” Jungkook huffs, whipping his head up to pout at his older friends laughing at him. They only made his situation harder, teasing him about you every chance they got.

“Uh, why are you yelling at me when I just got your girlfriend to come on the trip?” Jimin asks, a hand over his heart to feign hurt. Taehyung wiggles his eyebrows at the younger boy before stealing a couple fries from his plate.

“What? She said she was coming like a week ago hyung,” 

“Oh my god,” Jimin snorted, “Have you not been paying attention? What were you doing for like the past twenty minutes?” 

“Probably looking at her ass,” Taehyung interjects, waving his salt covered fingers in Jungkook’s direction.

“She was sitting down bruh,”

“I know. Her ass is still amazing,”

Jimin pauses for a moment, staring at his grinning friend. 

“You’re right, though,”He giggles, eyes turning to crescent moons with his bright smile.

Here they go again. Jungkook’s friends were never shy about their attraction to you, even though they knew about his long held crush. He figured it was because they thought he’d never act on it. They were probably right.

“Listen, she was thinking about going to her parents for three days but I convinced her to only go for the weekend so that she could still come with us,” Jimin smirked, puffing out his chest as if he deserved a medal for his ‘work’. 

Well, considering he just saved Jungkook a good two hours of sulking, maybe he did.

“Thank god, I packed like 3 pairs of grey sweatpants and no underwear! I would’ve wasted all my ‘sexy’ on… you two,” Jungkook said, pretending to gag with a finger in his mouth.

“Ew, bruh.” Jimin grimanced .

“I’m gross but y’all were just sitting here talking about ___’s ass?”

Taehyung patted his shoulder from across the table, giving him a pitiful stare.

“Her ass is actually sexy and your little dick is like a Kandinsky painting.”

“Beautiful?” Jungkook snorts, a smile creeping onto his face.

“Nah, abstract!” He replied, falling back on his seat in a fit of giggles.

It was going to be a long two days without you. 

four seven eight

pairing: jungkook x reader

wordcount: 12k

glimpse: you’re secure when it comes to loving jungkook, knowing that your husband loves you beyond words. what you aren’t so secure about is his first love — someone who isn’t you.

alternatively, jungkook’s married to you, but he still celebrates his anniversary with his ex out of sentimentality.

[ part one + intermission + part two + intermission 02 + finale ]

[ major angst (pls take a break when necessary!!), no cheating happens here btw, some rlly cute moments i swear, jk’s a cold lover, emotional constipation + breakdowns, allusions to anxiety + anxiety attacks, self-deprication n loathing, miscommunication, based on the moral dilemma of whether or not it’s okay to be friends with ur ex, eventual redemption in the next parts :) ]

notes: it’s finally out and i can’t wait for you to read!! this piece is my baby, the rightful successor to heartburn <3 i’m aware that the last time i wrote a mini-series it was rlly heavy, but please trust me when i say that this would be lighter <3

as always, lmk what you think <3 send in feedback n love to my askbox anytime!! even replying to this post sends me over the moon :) | series masterlist

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two point five. (m) jjk.

pairing. handyman!jungkook x reader genre. smut word count. 21.3k warnings. jungkook is very charming and very sweet, oral sex, face riding, slight size kink, unprotected sex, lotsa messy kisses, multiple orgasms summary. who would have thought booking a handyman from an app would lead to this. sure, you wish he’d mount you instead of just your television, but you could totally be friends. right? note. this story was born from an ask game (a long time ago im so sorry) so thank you to the angel that gave me the fic title and all you cuties for helping me flesh out our handyman through asks hehe i hope you like the introduction to him™ because i’m sure there will be more of him soon hehe. also thank you to my angel bby loml @kithtaehyung​ for making the most beautiful banner ever ily!!<3

The sound of your power drill fills up the space of your apartment, the whirring coming to a quick stop only for the laughter of your friend to follow. There’s a brief moment where you forget she’s not in the room with you, actually watching you attempt to drill holes into your new apartment instead of in her home in a completely different state. The small ache in your chest is still felt when you remember this, not yet accustomed to being so far from home, but you push it away as you stare down at your device and see her face on the screen propped up a few inches away from you. 

“I don’t think you know what you’re doing,” she laughs, and although you agree you simply wave her off with a smile. 

“I hung up that tiny mirror the other day—oh, and that shelf!” You point to the side, staring at the shelf you had placed near the kitchen. Sure it was a little crooked, and you’re not exactly sure how much weight you could get away with placing on it, but it was only meant for cute decorations so really, you didn’t do a bad job. 

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Grave (Book 1): Insatiable (Table of Contents)

Return to Grave Series.

Return to Seokjin Fanfictions.

Return to Masterlist.

Author: Leonardo

Rating:  🌒⛔ (see Ratings)

Type: Seokjin × Reader

Genre: Fantasy

Series: Co-operative (Grave)

Dated: 2019.10.11

Status: Completed

Word Count: 16,000

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7 (FINAL)

tear you apart. kth (m)

I want to hold you close, soft breasts, beating heart, as I whisper in your ear, ‘I wanna fucking tear you apart.’

second part . third part.

pairing: demon!tae x reader genre: smut, pwp, light horror(?)/paranormal, incubus!tae word count: 13.2k warnings: playing with ouija boards, summoning demons, (jungkook is a buzzfeed unsolved nerd), taehyung is an incubus soooo there’s wet dreams lmao, cunnilingus, pussy slapping, use of vibrator, masturbation (f), voyeurism, multiple orgasms, spanking, tiny pain kink, spit kink (bc who would i be without putting that in there), cum sharing, hair pulling, tae has a monster demon dick ur welcome, rough sex, stomach bulging, its v messy author’s note: thank you to @dewykth​ for reading this through and approving the filth 😈 & @periminkle​​ for sprinting with me and giving me the motivation to word vomit over half of this in a few hours lmaooo ❣️ this idea came to me at 3am and i swore it would be 5k but before i knew it…it manifested into this so im sorry but also you’re welcome (this is purely self indulgent but theres a plot if you squint)🤠 ps my knowledge of incubus lies in the three pages i read from this demon encyclopedia i just so happen to have so if you’re like a demon expert pls don’t stone me..

let me know what you think please i love feedback 🖤

The soft glow from the moon illuminates the sight before you, standing on the overgrown pathway that leads to the abandoned two story complex, boarded up tightly to prevent people like you and your friends from entering. That wouldn’t deter Jungkook, no he was determined to get inside to do what he had called you all over to do.

So as he continues to jam his shoulder against the flimsy boards, his smile only growing as he starts to feel it bend under his weight, the rest of you merely observe your slightly unhinged friend. Yoongi is standing beside you, holding all of the items Jungkook had thrusted into his arms before attempting to use his whole body as a makeshift battering ram.

A brand new Ouija board box was the main thing he was holding, a few strange books on top that you hadn’t bothered to even analyze, along with a seemingly endless collection of thick white candles.

“Jungkook just give it up,” you sigh, your arms crossed in front of you as you turn your head to peer back at the desolate street, the half working street lights only adding to the eerie feeling. This was all starting to seem like a low budget horror film, all that was missing was a random killer with a machete standing in the overgrown bushes a few feet away. That would surely spice up the night.

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Best Served Cold | Yoongi | Part I

pairing: Yoongi x afab!reader

au: mafia!au, arranged marriage!au, Yoongi is at the bottom of the organization just trying to stay alive when the story starts.

tags: SLOW BURN, eventual violence, eventual hurt/comfort, eventual smut, reformed bad boy Yoongi, he is lethal in this fic - literally, and he has neck tattoos. Reader is self conscious about her looks, so that gets mentioned occasionally, but is not a focus of the fic. (She works through it by the end.) (Part I does include a knife fight and mentions stitching a wound.)

words: 9k

a/n: Part I originally appeared on my old blog, but it's been heavily edited since then. Parts II and III are drafted. They just need to be edited.

Part I, Part II, Part III

___

Yoongi shields his eyes from the flames. Smoke coats his throat, and he pants for breath. As he lies on the wet pavement, he realizes that this Molotov cocktail, this cheap-ass, dime-store intimidation tactic currently burning through his club, is a plan to intimidate him. First, he was annoyed. Now he’s pissed. 

x

x

x

“Boss,” Jungkook calls. “Where are you?”

“In the alley.” Yoongi’s voice is harsh. He hacks until his throat burns. 

“Namjoon said there might be trouble.” Jungkook shakes his head even as he helps his friend to his feet.

“Thanks, Jungkook, that’s really fucking helpful.”

Jungkook raises an eyebrow.

“I know you’re right, but I could just use a little time before the ‘I told you so.’”

Jungkook shrugs. 

Always helpful, that kid.

“You think Namjoon will front you anymore money?”

Always fucking helpful.

“No, I don’t.”

The midlevel boss is struggling to maintain this territory for Kim Seokjin. Seokjin is so far above Yoongi, he isn’t sure he can pick the man out of a crowd. He’s never even met him. 

This waterfront location, the small inroads into the neighboring gang’s territory, is far, far, beneath the boss’s notice. Namjoon barely pays attention to Yoongi, and he pays the man a generous cut. Not enough to pay off Yoongi’s debt with the interest Namjoon charges, but generous, nonetheless. Namjoon is making a name for himself, and Yoongi knows that his small establishment isn’t a priority for someone with the other man’s ambition. The Min family still means something to Namjoon, though. It burns Yoongi hotter than his establishment currently going up in flames that his father’s name got him this squandered opportunity.

Firetruck sirens ring out in the distance. At least he won’t have to worry about the fire spreading beyond his own building. 

“This is a dumb question…” Jungkook says. “But do you have insurance?”

“That is a dumb question.”

“Still?”

“No, I don’t have insurance.”

“So, what are you going to do?”

Yoongi sure as fuck isn’t about to concede this little turf war to Lee’s gang. This shitty waterfront location, a small establishment where he planned to run some card games, make some money, is as ambitious as he gets these days, but he isn’t ready to let it go. He also isn’t ready to pay his debt to Namjoon in blood. Yoongi pulled himself up from less than nothing to this pathetic showing, but it’s still worth more to him than his life.

“Yoongi, what the fuck are you going to do?”

“I’m going to make a deal with the devil, Jungkook.”

&&&

You shut your laptop the moment your older sister calls your name. There are no secrets in your family. At least, none that aren’t so carefully guarded as to be entombed like a mummy. 

The bedroom door bursts open. 

“It’s true, our cousin confirmed it,” your sister announces. She glances at your desk. “You’re studying? Again?

“Yes,” you say, unable to think of a lie.

“You need a boyfriend.” She flounces on your bed. “Aren’t you even curious who I’m going to marry?”

Honestly, you can’t believe marriage contracts are still a thing, but she finds them romantic. You look out over the circular driveway and manicured lawn lining the entrance before giving way to the twenty-four-hour manned gate. Marriages contracts are nothing more than a way to keep this wealth among certain families. 

You shiver, glad to you know you’ll never be sacrificed in that way. 

“I can’t believe how long father made me wait,” she says. “You’ll be next.”

“Father won’t marry me off.”

It isn’t for nothing that everyone considered the girls to be evenly divided, one with the looks and the other the brains. You don’t begrudge your sister her beauty, but you long ago stopped wondering when your awkward phase would end.

“Please don’t talk about yourself that way.”

The front door slams. 

“Where are they?” your father asks, voice booming.

You hear footsteps, and you grin at each other. As much as you hate the convention, you’re happy for your sister. She looks forward to marriage even more than the other women of your position. It means her own household, a generous allowance, and a ring on her finger that will announce to everyone that she is taken, and not just by anyone, but someone who can afford such an impressive stone. No way your father would marry your sister to someone who can’t afford to keep her. Appearances must be maintained.

“Girls, I have some exciting news,” your father announces, entering the room. “As I’m sure you’ve already heard—your mother can’t keep a thought in her head without sharing it—the marriage contract is finalized.”

“Who is it?” your sister asks.

“Min Yoongi.”

“Who?” she asks. The name means nothing to either of you, and you had pressed your mother for a list of possible bridegrooms.

“His family isn’t much anymore, but the dowry prevented any hesitations.”

“You will not make me marry some man I’ve never heard of before!” your sister protests.

“Damn right I won’t.” Your father turns to face you. “She’s marrying him.”

He’s pointing at you.

&&&

You stare at yourself in the mirror. You do not look like a glowing young woman on her wedding day. The concealer under your eyes is so heavy, it adds to the dark circles instead of taking away from them. The traditional dress constricts, and you struggle to breathe. Lowering the veil, your face disappears behind silk and lace.

No amount of pleading or crying has made your father relent. A deal is a deal, and he made a deal with Min Yoongi to take you off his hands. Before the contract, you thought he would continue to ignore you. You even tried running away, but with little savings, you didn’t make it far. Upon your return, your sister schooled you on the easily-convertible-to-cash wealth of jewelry and designer handbags. She hadn’t just prepared her wardrobe for an eventual marriage. She was much, much smarter than you had ever given her credit for. What were school smarts when it prepared you not at all for a wedding day with a man you had never met who would soon control your wealth, your education and, you realize with dawning horror, your body? You clench your fists until blood red marks appeared on your palms, small half-moons of distress. 

You and your sister had found out nothing about Min Yoongi. Your mother had heard of the family before. Apparently, they used to be thought of highly, but you could discover nothing of their past or whatever made them fall from grace. 

All your plans, all your dreams of fading so completely from your father’s notice in order to gain the freedom you craved, were crushed in an instant by a man who would marry a woman he didn’t know for money. 

“Are you ready, dear?” Your mother calls in a sickly, sweet voice that must be second nature to her by now. She enters the dressing room where you had been hiding since your sister left. “Everyone is waiting.”

No expense had been spared for the wedding, and you knew it was all your father. There were hundreds of people outside waiting for you to walk down the aisle. Family and friends of your family, all ready to witness your humiliation. How could your father put you through this? “You look lovely,” your mother offers. “He’s very handsome, I think.”

“What do I care what he looks like? I’ve never met the man.”

The slap surprises you, and you wince from the pain.

“You should be grateful. This is the best your father could do for you.”

Humiliation burns brighter than the sting on your face. 

“Do you know how long your father looked for a contract for you? Do you know how many men have refused you?”

The worst part was you didn’t. You had no idea he’d been trying to give you away. 

“Get yourself together. I won’t have you humiliating your father.”

She smooths down her skirt. She hates getting emotional, hates anything impeding the picture-perfect family she’s constructed in her mind, and desperately maintains no matter how much evidence to the contrary.

“Hurry and dry your tears.” She leaves alone with your thoughts.

There’s no way out. There never was. You’ve been fooling yourself since the moment your father barged into your room. There is no escape, you can only survive.

Wiping your tears, you stand and lower the veil. You won’t raise it until your betrothed—God, the word sticks in your throat—lifts it. Well, there are no surprises for him. Certainly, he knows what he’s getting out of this bargain. It might not be the future you imagined for yourself, but you weren’t going to just give up.

With renewed determination, you walk out of the small dressing room. As you approach the main room, the music swells. The guests stand and face you. Taking a deep breath, you step into the cavernous space. You walk slowly, stately down the aisle as you’d been instructed. The silk and lace are thin enough that you can make out the ghostly faces of the guests. You don’t know most of these people, and you don’t see your sister. The whole affair is a farce, but you’ll play your part. 

Your steps slow as you near the main dais. Min Yoongi waits for you. Even through the veil, you can see that he’s handsome. Your mother, damn her, is right. With each step that you take, though, you can see that he isn’t just handsome. He’s beautiful. He wears a traditional tuxedo, looking ever the part of the well-dressed bridegroom. His hair is blond and falls just into his eyes. But it is the tattoos that take your breath away.  On his neck, black roses and thorns are visible above the collar of his shirt. He seems like a man who knows how to get his hands dirty. He’s compelling, your soon-to-be husband.

He shoots his cuffs, as if getting ready for a bout, holds his head high, and gazes in your direction. 

Perhaps he thought you wouldn’t come out of that small room, and he was happy to know he would get his money. You scowl. Somehow, you would survive the horror show your life had become. He wanted to marry you? Well, he would get what he bargained for, and then some.

Min Yoongi offers you a hand as you step up. He’s polite at least. Or he knows how to keep up appearances in front of a crowd. You can use either. No way this petty criminal, as your sister has taken to calling him, knows all these guests either. Both of you are lambs to the slaughter of this antiquated tradition. Before you have too much sympathy for him, you remember he faces humiliation for money—a time-honored tradition in its own right—while you gain nothing but the loss of personal freedom. 

You face the officiant as the interminable ceremony begins. Min Yoongi relaxes a bit, bows his head and lets the words wash over him.

By the time the ceremony ends, your knees are locked, and your back aches from standing at attention this whole time. While you couldn’t seem to imagine the ceremony ending when you were in the middle of it, suddenly the last remarks begin.

You face each other, and your new husband places a ring on your finger. The diamond is so small as to be a chip, the band tarnished, and you wonder what pawn shop he found it in. Surely, it’s the smallest and cheapest he could find. So, keeping up appearances isn’t a priority. His hands are rough and calloused. Petty criminal is right. 

The genuine revelation, though, is saved for the end. Looking back, you should’ve expected the final twist, the ultimate humiliation your father had planned.

Min Yoongi turns to face you. He’s truly beautiful in that moment, and you truly hate him. This man has taken away your future. Your husband—you want to gag—lifts the veil. You bow your head as you’ve been instructed before straightening.

He gives nothing away, not truly. You credit him for his composure if nothing else. Just a quick intake of breath, a twitch in his right eye gives away his surprise. Nothing the guests would see. But your father laughs and makes sure everyone can hear it. 

Your husband’s features tighten. 

In this moment, you know, as certain as you are of anything. Min Yoongi lost. Min Yoongi did not marry the sister he intended. He married you.

&&&

Yoongi stretches the collar of his starched shirt, and it does nothing to ease the pressure. Sweat trickles down his temple. Little air flows in the reception space, and he would give anything for a cigarette and a breath of fresh air, which makes no sense.

The main table is situated slightly higher and away from the others. He feels on display, and he doesn’t like it. Jungkook sits to his right, and he hopes the kid doesn’t pull a weapon. He’s so jumpy. 

Jungkook had looked nervous ever since they walked in the door. 

“Who are all these fucking people?”

“You think I fucking know?” Yoongi responds. “Don’t swear.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes. “I’m an adult.”

“Who did such a terrible job raising you?”

“You, hyung, you raised me.”

“Oh, right,” Yoongi says, distracted by straightening his tie.

“Here, let me.” Jungkook wrenches the tie from Yoongi’s hands. “You sure this is the right choice?”

“It’s too late to back out now.”

“Still, we could make a run for it.”

But Yoongi made a deal, and he would stick to it. “I’m not backing out on her. She’s alright. I’ve met her before, but she probably doesn’t remember me.”

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”

Yoongi thought of the circumstances under which he had met the eldest sister. “Probably a good thing.”

Looking back, Yoongi should’ve realized the last twist. He’d always known your father was a bastard. The ruthless son of a bitch had stabbed friends in the back to make his life just a little easier, to put a little more money in his pocket. Yoongi expected a double cross. He made sure the money was transferred to his account directly after the ceremony. He’d gotten paid alright, but he hadn’t gotten the crown jewel. Yoongi should’ve suspected a sister switch. He knew nothing of the younger sister, but the way your smile turns to ice whenever you meet his eyes, he hoped you would give him a few hours, at least, before whatever plan you must’ve had would be put into action. Someone as spoiled and coddled as you are, you must want to return to the comforts of your father’s compound, not whatever humble offerings Yoongi could provide.

“Would you like some more wine?” Yoongi asks. He doesn’t know why he persists in talking to you. 

You shake your head, barely deigning to suggest you had heard him. If only you could have a private conversation somewhere. He didn’t need you to like him. You have nothing in common. Yoongi had a restless, reckless youth and you had been pampered with your father’s wealth. He hates everything you stand for, happy to accept the money but never questioning where it comes from. 

One of the older guests, a fading man with a hunched back and a bald head, walks with a cane to the main table. Guests actually speaking to Yoongi had been rare. 

“I knew your father,” the man says, voice too soft for the crowd that speaks around them. “He was a great man.”

Yoongi feels that strange mix of pride and annoyance whenever anyone of the old guard remembers his father. Yoongi doesn’t know who the man in front of him is.

“He is a great man,” Yoongi insists, tired of everyone talking about his father like he was dead. Yoongi’s father isn’t well enough to attend the ceremony, a fact for which Yoongi is glad. His father had married for love, and in his better days he had wanted the same for Yoongi.

“Quite right, quite right. We aren’t all in the ground yet.” The old man puts up a hand as if to ask for forgiveness. “You are a lucky woman.”

Yoongi watches as you stiffen even more than you have already. 

He tenses. He will forgive your annoyance, but he won’t be gracious if you’re rude to the one guest, an elderly guest at that, who had paid his respects to Yoongi’s family. 

“Thank you,” you say, sickly sweet. “How kind of you to say.”

Yoongi prefers the glacial you. This is some kind of bizarre imitation of a radiant bride, and it’s worse than the glower you perfected during the reception.

The old man gives one more look to Yoongi. “If you need anything, you know where to find me.”

Yoongi did not know where in hell to find this old guy, but he nodded. If he ever needed to take up this man on his offer, he would be more fucked that he was now.

“Thank you, sir,” Yoongi says, voice loud so the old man could hear him over the din of chatter.

You wince. “Your parents couldn’t bear to be a part of this farce?”

“My father is ill, and my mother couldn’t leave him.”

You glance at him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t—I hope he improves.”

Yoongi nods his head in acknowledgement. 

When would this interminable reception be over? Most of the rituals are complete, and Yoongi is surprised to find himself dead tired. It’s been a long few weeks, a long few months, and he wants to sleep without having to keep one eye open. 

“Can you give me a few days before you try to murder me in my sleep?”

You choke on your wine. 

“I don’t know what—”

“Look, princess, I know you’ve got plans. You don’t look like an idiot to me.”

“I’m not.”

“Then give me a few days, at least.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you say in the worst imitation of someone carefree. “I couldn’t be more thrilled to marry a petty criminal with this ring that looks like you won it for a quarter in a machine.”

Yoongi flinches. He would give you one comment about the ring. Just one, though.

“Would you like some more wine?” Yoongi asks.

“For the last time, no,” you say, acknowledging him with a slight tilt of your head, like a queen about to execute a criminal. “I will not get drunk into oblivion as wonderful as it sounds to forget this ever happened, and I would suggest you don’t either. My father and his friends are looking for anyway to humiliate you further, and I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.”

You turn to look at him, and you may not have the obvious beauty of your sister, but you have a steely determination he respects. Again, Yoongi reminds himself to prepare his own meals. 

“On the other hand, I don’t care what you do. Make a fool of yourself.”

“I’m not an idiot.”

“Oh, really?” you say with a glacial smile. You turn your gaze to where your sister dances with another of her admirers. “How did that bargain work out for you?”

Fuck, you noticed. Yoongi prided himself on giving nothing away. It would’ve worked if it wasn’t for your father’s laughter. 

“Listen, I’m sorry—”

“Spare me your pity. You should make sure you got paid.”

“I did,” Yoongi responds. He may have been fooled, but he knew to get his end of the bargain. 

“Well, how wonderful for you.” 

You don’t speak to him again for the rest of the reception.

&&&

Sitting in the back of the limousine, you force yourself to stay awake. This farce is almost over, and then you can take off this dress and breathe again. You just want to sleep, but that raises an issue.

“Where are we going?”

Yoongi jerks his head in your direction. “You’re talking to me.”

“For now.”

“We have a hotel room.” He looks down at his hands. “It’s not the nicest, but it keeps up appearances.”

“Unlike other things,” you retort, staring down at the ring.

“I’m tired, princess, and I’m going to have to ask you not to make any more comments about the ring.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

Yoongi leans his head back. “We have adjoining rooms. I won’t disturb you, if you promise not to disturb me. Double doors with locks on either side. It seems as good as any other way to start our marriage.”

You exhale. You don’t know what to say. Of course, it is the only reasonable resolution, but you weren’t sure. You know nothing about your husband, and you can’t afford to let your guard down. Look where your naivete had gotten you? You would never let down your guard again.

“That sounds fine.” You will not thank him for basic decency.

A few minutes later, the limo stops. The driver opens the door. He helps you out of the car, and Yoongi follows. Yoongi looks as tired as you feel, and you are certain you look worse than him. Even exhausted, he is truly handsome. 

Yoongi offers you a hand, and you don’t refuse as much as you want to. The path is rocky, and you need extra help to navigate in these shoes and this dress. You’ve driven across the bay to a small hotel on the water. The view of the downtown lights shines in the distance. The fresh salty air breezes across your face, and you feel renewed. You’ve made it this far, you’ll continue.

This hotel had been something back in the day. Your parents had probably stayed here at one point, and the thought doesn’t cheer you. The attendant behind the counter treats you kindly, and he mentions that your bags have already been carried to your rooms. He gives Yoongi two keys, and Yoongi passes you the key in the elevator. The hotel is so old that it uses actual keys with room numbers on them.

You’re staying on the third floor, the top floor of the hotel, overlooking the bay. You walk to your door. With a short wave, Yoongi disappears into his room, and you disappear into yours. 

The room must be one of the largest. There is a sunken sitting room where you look out past the floor to ceiling windows to the bay. Your luggage sits at the foot of the bed. Without turning on a light, you sit on the couch and stare out at the view. You don’t cry. You’ve spent too much time crying to have any tears left. Now you want to sleep like a sleeping beauty to be woken from this nightmare by a kiss, but there are no fairytales, no honorable knights, no handsome princes. Just this strange path your life has taken. In a few weeks, your dreams of having something for yourself disappeared to be replaced by the man sleeping two locked doors away. You slip off your shoes and tuck your feet under your dress. A knock comes from the double doors.

You shuffle to the other side of the room, dragging your dress on the ground. You open the door. 

Min Yoongi stands on the other side of the threshold. His jacket is off. His tie is loosened, and he’s rolling his shirt sleeves to his elbows. An unlit cigarette dangles from his lip. In the face of his beauty, you wonder what he thinks of you. Straightening your shoulders, you remind yourself that he is just another criminal, a man like your father who will use anyone to get what he wants. He has already used you. His opinion doesn’t matter.

“Do you need anything?” he asks.

He pulls the cigarette from his lips, holding it as if to take a drag.

“No, this room is… adequate.”

He huffs, a sardonic smile on his face. “I’m sure it’s nothing compared to your father’s house, princess.”

She thinks of the high walls and guards surrounding her family home, thinking she had been safe. She had been a fool. Never again.

“You know nothing of my father.”

“I’m learning.”

“What do you need?” you ask, eager to get this tête-à-tête concluded.

“No need to come out swinging.” Yoongi puts up his hands. “I just wanted to make sure you didn’t want for anything.”

“I will ask you if I do, since all my money is now yours.”

At your words, he glances out at the window as if captivated by the view. “I’ll see you in the morning, then.”

“Wait,” you say. “I do need something.”

He doesn’t answer, just waits for you to continue. 

“Can you unzip this gown? I can’t reach it.” You turn around before your cheeks turn red. This entire night is humiliating enough. There’s no reason to add to it.

Without a word, he lowers the zipper. His fingers drag against your skin, and you suppress the shudder that threatens to rake your body. How many women has he unzipped like this? Probably more than he can remember. He pauses when he reaches your lower back. You wonder what it would be like to be wanted by him until you remember he was paid to take you. 

“Anything else?” 

With one arm, you hold up the bodice of your gown over your chest. He’s looking right at you, but you avert your gaze. The first time a man has undressed you and it’s on your wedding night, and he couldn’t be less interested in you. With a shock, you realize he prepared this extra suite, the late-night meal delivery, and the gift on the bedside table for your sister. Any thoughtful gestures were for her. Not for you. 

You shake your head. 

“Goodnight,” he says, turning around and shutting the door behind himself. 

You do the same.

&&&

Yoongi couldn’t sleep. He tossed and turned, twisting the sheets into a crumpled heap. Has he done the right thing? He needed the money, but has he done the right thing, making a deal with one of the worst men in town?

Certainly, Yoongi had been out of options. There had been no question. If he had any other avenue to rebuild the club, help his parents, and keep a roof over his head, he would’ve taken it. He needs more money than he can make at a respectable job, as if anyone would hire him with these tattoos.

No, nothing respectable is left to him. He won’t abandon his parents, and he will make whatever deal is necessary to keep going.

Yoongi gets out of bed. The sun has risen over the water. He lights a cigarette—a terrible habit he hasn’t been able to break. 

A knock sounds from the other side of the double doors. So, you haven’t left him in the night. He wonders if you have any money of your own. Probably not, if the rumors about your old man were true, and they had turned out to be more than fucking accurate.

He throws on a robe, one of the cheap, thin robes provided by the hotel, but it was that or wrapping a towel around his waist. He isn’t ready to show you the rest of his tattoos. There has to be some mystery left in this marriage.

He opens the door to reveal his bride. You wear an ill-fitting dress, drab and looking like something a mother would pick out for her daughter. It’s awful. What would your sister have worn this morning? Your sister, he knows, has long ago lost her innocent beginnings if the rumors about her are true—he doesn’t judge. It honestly would’ve been easier to marry the sister he expected. He can handle tantrums and drama, all of which she would’ve provided. This sister, though, what does she provide?

You look down at your feet. 

“I do have a plan to poison you.”

“Thanks for the warning.”

“But it seems too complicated, and I will be the first person they suspect.”

“You don’t give yourself enough credit. I’m sure there are some other suspects in town.”

“Lots of people want to kill you?”

“Well, it’s only Sunday, so maybe, like you, they’ve decided to take a rest.”

“Can I, uh, come in?”

“Make yourself at home.” Yoongi gestures to the room behind him, and he quickly wonders what it looks like in your eyes. Just the one small suitcase, and a pack of cigarettes on the nightstand. No room service set up. Your meal had been expensive enough. He needs to economize if he’s going to make a go of it. 

You walk past him into the room, wringing your hands. “What are your plans for me?”

“We just met, princess. I don’t move that fast.”

“Please stop that ridiculous drawl. Clearly, you must have some plan. Oh god, if you’ve married me to gamble away my dowry there is nothing I can do, but…”

He resists the desire to call you princess. You don’t look like much of one in that dress. You look distinctly lost. 

“I won’t gamble it away.”

“Small mercies.”

“It’s invested.”

“Where?”

In myself, he wants to say, but that is ridiculously cocky, and he has nothing to show for it. “In my club.”

She raises her eyes to the ceiling. “What kind of club?”

Yoongi clears his throat. “I’m starting small. It’s by the waterfront, some tables, some drinks, nothing I can’t handle.”

“That’s all of it, what he paid you for me?”

It took Yoongi a moment to realize what you meant. You must’ve calculated in your head how much he got from your father. He wants to tell you the truth. Would it be better or worse to know your dowry was large, but that men still hadn’t wanted you to get it? 

"There was more but I had some debts to pay off."

“Gambling?”

“I borrowed money from Kim Namjoon to get started, and he doesn’t like late payments.” 

You raise an eyebrow. “Well, you at least know how to save your own neck.”

“That’s dangerously close to a compliment.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t slip up next time.”

You wring your hands again, and he resists the urge to reach out and calm you. You are probably just looking out for your own neck and used to a large allowance. Maybe not, he considers, if that dress is anything to go by. 

“Is there any left?” you ask in the smallest voice he’s heard yet. 

“Just enough for this hotel and the first month’s rent on our place. That… technically, I haven’t found yet because I’ve been so busy with the club.”

“We’re spending money we don’t have on this hotel because you don’t know how to run a club?”

He doesn’t quite like the way you phrase it, but he appreciates you cut to the chase. Before he can respond, you supply your own answer. 

“There’s nothing left.”

“We’re all tied up in investments.”

“Is Kim Namjoon paid back? With whatever interest he charges?”

You sound offended he doesn’t have a rich father backing him. 

He shakes his head. “I still owe him the vig, but I bought some time.”

“Why not forget about the club and pay it all to him?”

“Because then I’ve got nothing but a burned-out hole.”

“You lost your club to a fire? Who came after you?”

“Faulty wiring.”

“I’ll bet.”

He wants to reassure you. He doesn’t like this side of himself. “It’s nothing I can’t handle.”

“Clearly.”

“Why did you want to know? About the money, I mean.”

“It was nothing.”

But Yoongi is sure it was something. Might as well clear the air. “Look, I’ll stay out of your way if you stay out of mine. If you’re discrete, I don’t care what you do.”

“Is that your plan?”

Yoongi had no such plan. Women were trouble and the few who had been interested in him lately were more trouble than they were worth. He hadn’t been interested in anyone in a very long time. 

“Of course,” he says.

You nod.

“Why did you ask about the money?”

“I wanted to know how much trouble we were in.”

Yoongi still doesn’t believe you, but he lets it go. 

“Do you care if I get a job?”

Yoongi winces. You have to know none of the wives in your position work. It would further convince everyone of his family’s fall. His parents, especially, as old-fashioned as they were, wouldn’t understand.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Your voice turns glacial once again. 

“Just give me some time. I can turn things around.”

You stare at him, and he wonders if you’ve truly given up your plan to poison him. 

“Let’s find an apartment today. There’s no reason to stay at this aging hotel that’s about to fall into the sea if we can save money without it.”

“I thought it might be easier for you to have separate rooms for a few weeks before we moved in together.”

“I’m a big girl. Like you said, as long as you know how to be discrete, you won’t have a problem with me. I know how these things work.”

Yoongi realizes you very desperately do not. What an asshole your father is.

“Okay, there’s two places I found we can afford. Not elegant, but not run down either. The club should be open in a few weeks and then the money will come in.”

“Right.”

He ignores your tone. “Do you want to look at them with me today?” It’s the least he could offer. 

“Yes, that would be nice.”

Any quip dies on his lips when he sees the look in your eyes. You look pleased to be asked. He isn’t sure if he is more afraid of you poisoning him or that look of quiet surprise when anyone is nice to you. 

&&&

“We should get the first place,” you say.

“The second had a view of the ocean.”

“It costs too much, and we don’t need that much space.”

Yoongi drives expertly down the narrow, crowded streets. Occasionally, a horn honks at him or a pedestrian yells, but he ignores them all. He doesn’t even feel the need to respond. Impassive behind his sunglasses, he occasionally acknowledges their ire with a nod of his head, but you figure he has heard worse. Your husband wears black pants and a black button-down shirt. You wear one of your better dresses this morning. In this, you look the part of a young couple house hunting. 

“Are you sure you don’t want the space?”

“You’re going to be spending most of your time at the club, right? I’ve already said I won’t make a fuss. Let’s at least save some money.” 

You hope he will be gone most of the time. A smaller, older building without a doorman and pretentious neighbors would be better for you. Less chance of prying eyes, and easier to find a job. 

“If you insist, princess.”

“I insist.”

“Then, it’s done.”

&&&

You check your watch again. It’s almost closing time. You ring up the only customer in the florist’s shop. 

It hadn’t been easy finding a job with no references and less experience. You are lucky that the florist will pay you less than the going rate under the table. The arrangement fits both your purposes. You wipe your hands on the apron, ever careful not to soil your clothes. 

Luckily your husband keeps regular hours. He comes and goes with the precision of a banker. You’ve hidden your job from him. What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him. He says the club is doing well, but it isn’t like he shows you the books. You won’t be caught without your own money again.

You have a well-appointed if small apartment in a perfectly respectable building, as much as he complains about the loss of the view. As far as arranged marriages go, it could’ve been much, much worse. He gives you an adequate allowance, and you hope it isn’t putting too much of a dent in the monthly finances. You spend some of it. Isn’t that what wives do? Buy clothes and eat at restaurants? You save as much as you dare, because your husband seems to notice minor details.

You flip the sign to closed and lock the door behind you. There are no more customers in the shop, and you want to get home before your husband leaves for the club. So far, he doesn’t seem to suspect you have a job, and you want to keep it that way.

You walk the five blocks back to your building—close enough to be convenient, far enough away that you won’t run into him. You check the mail, opening the antiquated box in the lobby and then climb the three flights of stairs to your apartment. Good, you had made it back before he woke. 

“Oh, there you are,” he says, while you yelp in surprise. Your husband wears his usual black suit and drinks his ever-present cup of coffee. 

“Just out shopping,” you improvise, realizing belatedly you have no bags. 

“Didn’t find anything you liked?”

“Maybe next time.” You wonder if all newlyweds have such mundane conversations, you are guessing they don't. He looks as if he wants to say more, but refrains. You really have very little to say to each other. Other than polite inquiries, you stay out of each other’s way. You are roommates more than anything else.

“How’s Kim Namjoon?” you ask. 

“He got paid this month,” Yoongi replies, just as he had done every time. “I really do know what I’m doing.”

“Except with the wiring.”

“Well, you got me there.” 

You relax when he leaves. Your deception worked for another day. When you walk to the bedroom, you take your earnings from the pocket of your dress. You unscrew the cover of the vent and put your day's earnings inside. 

Making a quiet dinner, you realize you spend more time alone since you got married than before. You don't mind. It’s given you time to think about all that’s happened. It could be far far worse you know. He gives you much more freedom than anyone of your father’s set would.  You may be tied to a man that you don’t love but, unfortunately, your life could easily be much worse.

You sit down to dinner when a knock pounds on the door. 

You stand abruptly. No one comes here. Both of you have few friends and less interest in socializing with the class of people who saw the circus that was your wedding.

"Mr. Min Yoongi," someone calls through the door. 

It wasn't Jungkook. You know that much. He was one of the few people Yoongi had introduced you to. 

"I'm sorry to disrupt your happy abode, but you'll see I had little choice."

"Yoongi isn't here," you say, not opening the door. You know it isn’t any of his enemies. They wouldn’t show up at his home.

"Ah, you must be his lovely bride," the man says, a thump sounding as if he must've crumbled to the floor.

You open the door, and the man falls backward, landing on the floor at your feet. Handsome, with a stunning profile and brilliant eyes that sparkle even given the state he’s in, you can’t take your eyes from him. 

“Jung Hoseok,” he says. He lifts a hand to shake yours, but it’s covered with his own blood. “Pleasure to meet you.” 

&&&

Yoongi walks into the club. It is early enough that the place is mostly empty. Jungkook is behind the bar. Jimin and Taehyung are having a drink. Yoongi nods his head in acknowledgement and moves to the back office. 

“Jenny, what are you doing here?”

The girl sits in his leather chair with her bare feet propped onto the desk in front of her. She’s dressed to entice. He likes her confidence, but he’s told her before he’s not interested. 

“You know I always wait for you to get here?”

“You know I’ve asked you not to.” Yoongi strides into the room. She’s lounged all over the accounts he needs to reconcile. Running a club had seemed glamourous in his youth, but now it was just work. There was very little that was actually glamourous about it, trying not to get cheated, making sure the numbers balanced at the end of the month. This had become his life. 

A door slams in the main room. He guesses the crowd must be early this Friday night.

“I told you, I’m not interested.”

“I told you, I’m persistent.” She reaches for his collar. 

“I’m married, Jenny.”

She scoffs. “Some frigid princess.”

“Do not talk about my wife that way.”

She flinches from his tone.

“Yoongi,” Jungkook calls, “you better get out here.”

“I’m needed on the floor.”

Jenny rolls her eyes. She doesn’t miss the opportunity to stand a little closer, to remind him of what he is missing. 

“I need you here,” she says.

Before Yoongi can think of a response, the door opens.

“Sorry to interrupt,” you say. “A friend of yours stopped by.”

Yoongi turns. Your dress is covered in blood. 

“Did someone hurt you?” Yoongi says, striding toward you.

“No… this isn't mine.” 

Yoongi closes his eyes in relief. “What happened? What are you doing here?”

“Hello Yoongi,” Hoseok says cordially. “Looks like I missed you at home, so your clever bride agreed to bring me here.”

“He wouldn't let me bring him to a hospital.” 

“Terrible places, hospitals. Full of germs, disease.”

“Also, they have to call the police if someone is injured like this. He said only you could help.”

“Idiot,” Yoongi says. “Put him on the couch.”

You help him to sit, and Jenny slips out of the room. All thoughts of the other woman flew from his mind when he saw you covered in blood. The old rules aren’t as strictly followed as they used to be, but the ruling families still frowned upon going after the wives and children. 

“Jungkook,” Yoongi calls. “Get the supplies. I’ll sew him up here.”

Your eyes grow wide at the admission. Wringing your hands, you take it all in. 

“I’m going to pass out soon,” Hoseok admits, glancing down at the wound in his side.

“Aren’t you too old for a knife fight?” Yoongi asks, inspecting the wound while Hoseok winces.

“You know how it is,” Hoseok says, unconvincingly. He pauses. “It was one of Lee’s men.”

Damnit. Lee should’ve been satisfied with the damage to the club. When will Yoongi be strong enough that no one will come for him or his friends?

Jungkook hands Hoseok a shot of amber liquid. Hoseok swigs, grimaces and passes out.

Yoongi looks at the curved needle and thread that Jungkook brought him. You stare in horrified fascination as he cleans the wound. Luckily, it isn’t deep. 

“You don’t have to stay,” he says, suddenly self-conscious to be watched.

“You can really do this?”

Yoongi nods. He’s had plenty of experience. “Jungkook, get back to the bar. I can handle this.”

The younger man leaves without another word.

He is glad to have an excuse not to see the blood on your clothes. He should’ve done a better job protecting you.

Sitting on the couch beside Hoseok, you watch him work. It’s unsettling. The lessons of his youth were hard-earned. He supposes it is better to have you know the truth than to pretend otherwise. You must’ve been removed from the realities of this life, living in your palatial house, staff ready to do whatever you ask.

“I bet you’ve never seen this before,” he says flatly.

You shake your head. “I’ve seen very little of anything.”

“I believe that.”

“My father would never deign to get his hands dirty.” 

Yoongi scoffs. “Too far beneath him?”

“You care for your men.”

“They don’t belong to me,” he retorts. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…”

He finishes stitching the wound in silence. There is very little else to say. He guesses you’ve been, rightly or wrongly, initiated into some truths of his life. He would rather you not know, frankly.  

You walk around the desk, looking at the papers he’s been ignoring for the past few weeks.

“Do you want a drink?” he asks, eager to get out of this room even for a moment. There’s something unsettling about your presence. 

“Please.”

He leaves for the bar, letting Jungkook know Hoseok will be okay. He’ll be in a hell of a lot of pain when he wakes up, but they’re lucky it isn’t worse. Yoongi hates the fact that luck is the only thing keeping him afloat at this point. Luck and your dowry.

He returns to see you sitting at his desk. Your hands are clean, but the bloodstains on your dress leave him with a queasy feeling. You’re someone else he needs to protect.

“Have you set up a shell company?”

Yoongi shakes his head. “I haven’t. I’ve been too busy getting things set up here.” He’s been ignoring it, is what he’s been doing. “At this point, I’m going to have to stash cash in the walls.”

“That won’t work with your wiring problems.” 

He sets the drink on the desk, and you take a sip. You continue to investigate the papers on his desk, sorting through the bills and statements. 

“You need to create several shell companies. It is going to get harder to hide the returns, and you’re doing well this month.”

“How much do you know about this?”

“A little. I was getting an online business degree before…”

“Your father know?”

You laugh. “Do anything other than shop or get married? You must have him confused with someone else.”

“Why didn’t you continue?”

You glance up at him, a note of caution in your eyes. “I dropped out.”

“Why?” He asks, like an idiot.

“I didn’t expect such a tolerant husband.”

He can only imagine the horror that you must’ve gone through in the weeks between the contract and the ceremony. His attempt to reach out was rebuffed by your father, but maybe he should’ve tried harder. “You want to set it up?”

“The shell companies?”

“Yeah, you know this better than I do.”

You look down at the pages in front of you, biting your lip. He can see the play of emotions across your face, and he hopes you’re never asked to hide your feelings. It would be impossible for you. 

“Only if I start with something small. I don’t want to be responsible for the whole thing.”

“Sure.”

“Just like that?”

“It’s a good plan. Look, I don’t know what I’m doing and the longer I wait, the more difficult it’s going to get.”

The smile dawning on your face is something to see.  He hears the door open behind him and gets annoyed with the interruption.

“Yoongi, Jungkook needs you at the bar.”

At the sound of Jenny’s voice, you freeze. The smile on your face quickly shutters as you take an intense interest in the pages in front of you. Jenny leaves.

“I should go,” you say. “I need to change, and I need to think how to best deal with this.” You gesture to the pages in front of you. 

“Jimin and Taehyung can give you a ride.”

“I drove. It’s no problem.”

He puts a hand on your arm to stop you. “I would prefer they give you a ride home.”

This night has been stressful enough. He doesn’t want to think about something happening to you.

You meet his eye. “Okay, thank you.”

He hands you his suit jacket. The blood stains on your dress are prominent, and he doesn’t want to see them anymore than he wants you to be exposed to the stares of others.

You follow him out of the office. The club is getting crowded now. He introduces to you to Jimin and Taehyung They know what it means to be asked this favor, and he knows they won’t let him down. This marriage may be a farce, but he will protect what’s his.

You leave without a backward glance. 

&&&

Over the next few weeks, you spend time at the club doing the books. Jimin and Taehyung take you home most nights when Yoongi isn’t ready to leave. True to your word, you start small. Even this nominal amount feels immense. Yoongi has trusted you, and you don’t want to betray him. It’s the first time you’ve been asked to do anything important. You don’t want to screw it up.

Yoongi doesn’t leave any details to chance. The club had an excellent reputation, and soon it attracts more than just the waterfront crowd. He also keeps his bargain. If he’s with other women, he’s discrete. Apart from the first night you arrived unexpectedly, there was never a hint at the club from the other girls. If he is with someone there, she’s discrete too. 

There is one mystery left. It doesn’t seem like your entire dowry went into the club. What did he do with the money? He doesn’t have a drug habit, he doesn’t gamble, there is no obvious vice. He has a penchant for designer clothes, but that would hardly take up the substantial amount you hadn't been able to find. Maybe he was just holding it for a rainy day. 

The door opens, and one of the club’s many girls walks into the office. You don’t know her name, but you’ve seen her around. You didn't begrudge them their presence or their living. Everyone has to make it in this life, but you wonder about the one you had seen Yoongi with. Could that be his mistress?

"Do you know where Mr. Min is?"

"He’s taking inventory with Jungkook at the bar."

The girl nods and retreats to where she came from. 

You look down at the spreadsheets in front of you. The revelation comes to you like lightening. What an idiot you’ve been. The missing money was clearly going to Yoongi's mistress. He had kept his promise and been discrete, so why do you feel let down? What he does is none of your business.

Yoongi walks into the office with a drink for you. He’s kind, this arranged marriage husband. You wonder if you would've gotten along if you had met under different circumstances. But no, he would never be interested in you. You are decidedly not his type. His type is like the girl you saw him with. Someone who takes away from troubles, not someone who adds to them. You wonder what it would be like to be cared for by him. A blush creeps over your cheeks. The last thing you want to do is have a crush on your husband. He had made it clear he wasn't interested. Of course, he wasn't interested. He could probably have anyone he wanted, and the last thing he wanted was his naïve bride.

"We really need to pay all these bribes?" you ask.

"We're doing better. Everyone wants a piece." Yoongi shrugs. 

You defer to him in the more illegal aspects of the business. You do not know what the going rate was for bribes. 

"A few of them are getting in deep at the tables, so it won't be long until writing off their IOUs instead of paying them cash."

“You don't play.” 

“Not anymore.”

He didn't drink to excess either. Everything about him was carefully contained. The only hint of his rebellious youth was his tattoos. You’ve learned very little about his family. His parents hadn't come to the wedding, and he said they were too ill, but you wonder if it is something else. If he didn't want them to witness his bargain. 

“Why did you stop?” You sit back in your chair and wondered if he would answer you honestly. 

Yoongi looks up from his phone. "I grew up."

"You make it sound like you're an old man."

He huffed. "I'm old enough. Come on, let's get home. I don't need to be here at closing tonight."

It was rare the nights he took you home. You liked the simulacrum of domesticity, you realize. Another revelation on this night that you weren’t looking forward to investigating. Yoongi opens the door for you, helping you on with your raincoat and following you outside. His phone rings. Was it a woman? 

Yoongi swears, hanging up the phone.

"What is it?" you ask. He looks worried. Just how much of his life is he hiding? 

"We need to make a stop on the way home."

The Ocean’s Thrall | Masterlist

Taehyung x Reader | 2-parter | Slow Burn | merman!tae | 25k+ words

⇒ Life is stifling. It is unending mundaneity. But he, he is the sea. He is freedom. He is the setting sun on a far away horizon. One you can never reach with your feeble two legs. You are the land, and you are stranded. 

He says he is danger; that he is death. But you see only love and allure and nothing good can come of it.

01 coming soon!

02 coming soon!

the art of trying | jjk (m)

>>pairing: jungkook x reader / dilf!jk x grocery store clerk!oc

>>genre: friends with benefits, smut, angst

>>word count: 29.3k 😁

>>warnings: dom jk, sub oc, age gap, oc club era 🪩🥂, oc heart to heart with…, enter mr park seojoon !!, budding friendships 🥰, mending of relationships, enter dilf !!, reconciliation finally, but still we yearn, and jk is still a little stewpid, however!! he is doing his best!!, mostly oc pov i think, warning for a little bit of sad bc she is sad !!, but not too sad 😼, enter jock !!, dilf jk stuff: asking for permission, saying thank u, etc., fore play in the form of a lil dry humping 🫶🏻, finishes (multiple),, oral (m & f), dirty talk, lovesick gross smitteness 👎🏻, jreampie 👍🏻,  and finally, enter nari !! (🧋)

>>notes: finally am i right 🤣

this is part of my dilf jk series that can be found on my masterlist

>>summary: you’re trying to forget jungkook, but he’s trying to make sure you remember why you shouldn’t. 

Keep reading

lover’s repent | kim taehyung

summary: two ex lovers face to face for the first time in three years feeling every ounce of regret for how things ended. four years of a happy relationship destroyed in one awful fight, but the love will always be there even if you say differently.

re·pent—“feel or express sincere regret or remorse about one's wrongdoing or sin.”

warnings: 9.9k. heavy angst. passionate smut. ex couple. mentions of past cheating. past fighting (extremely verbal abuse TW), time lapse 18/19–25/26, maturing. troubled past. missionary. riding. tae is a sad boi to the extreme. cunnilingus. tae eats it up. soft dirty talk. open ending. one shot. flashback memories TW. implied panic attacks. bath tub scene. pls skip flashback if triggered by intense arguing and hateful words. daddy issues. mommy issues. tae was kicked out at 19.

song inspo: 505 — arctic monkeys. call out my name — the weeknd. visions of gideon — surfjan stevens

The air that surrounded the pair was thick. It was suffocating to the point where he found himself needing to draw in a deep breath. His release was shaky and his nostrils seemed to flare with each desperate attempt to breathe. It was beginning to burn his eyes and he needed to hold back the urge to release any more emotion in front of you.

You looked just as he did, in complete shock and discomfort. Neither one of you knew what to do at this moment but your feet were frozen to the ground. It’s not like you could pretend this isn’t happening right now. The hall was narrow and dark but you could make him out anywhere. The only light that seeped through came from the opening and closing of the restrooms not far from you two. It was when a certain shine of light fanned his face when everything really processed. Not even two feet away was your ex boyfriend and you needed to get away.

You snapped out of it before him, feeling the strong urge to cry but there was no way you were doing it in front of him. So, you did what any sensible person would do, and walked around him so you could leave.

Taehyung’s resolve was cracking as he whipped around to stare after you but you were disappearing into the restroom leaving him alone. The hall was packed now with drunks and he wondered if they had been there all along. If everyone still continued around him and he was the only one who only saw you. Maybe he was imagining the stop you did in front of him. Maybe it had only been a second hesitation but he mistook it for an equal look of desperation.

For a moment it felt like he couldn’t breathe anymore at the thought of seeing you and it had him running away. The music was too loud now and the flashing lights were blurring his vision but he found them.

“Jeez, I thought I was gonna have to go looking for you,” Jimin said as the girls with him laughed. He placed an arm around Taehyung’s shoulder not noticing the panic on his friend’s face. One of the girls looked at Taehyung, “Was there a long line?”

Everyone looked at him but he couldn’t even think about that right now. He pulled Jimin into him by the arm and leaned close enough to whisper, “Y/n’s here.”

Jimin was more than tipsy but even he seemed to hesitate at the name and the sudden shakiness in his best friend’s voice. He looked into the worry of Taehyung’s eyes as he asked in shock, “Y/n?”

This time, Jimin was loud enough for the girls to hear and the one closest to Taehyung spoke, “Who’s Y/n?”

The restroom was too crowded. You rushed here in order to escape the suffocation that was Taehyung but it did you no help. There were so many people in here that you couldn’t even stop to catch a breath. The only good that came out of this was that the loudness was so fast that you couldn’t even stop to think about anything else. That’s good, that meant you couldn’t cry in peace.

Jungkook was probably looking for you anyway, you couldn’t just leave your friend hanging. You tried to collect yourself as much as possible, bracing yourself to leave the sanctuary disguised as a nightclub’s restroom.

It’s like there was a high chance you’d see him again. It was a big place packed with people in poor lighting. You could probably be ten feet away from him and not even notice. The hall was different, there was only one destination and one access to it.

That shouldn’t be the case. You shouldn’t see him again but this his time it looks like he wanted you to.

Like the last time, you tried to walk around him but as you tried he moved in front of you, hands coming just short of your waist to stop you.

“Y/n.”

“No,” you shook your head, refusing to look at him.

“Y/n, please.”

“No, I have to go,” you said and every muscle in your body was trying to get you to move but you didn’t. Taehyung carefully let his hands make contact with your waist, “Y/n.”

“What?” You snapped, finally looking up at him. His heart plummeted with that painful throb that made your chest cave in. He could barely see but with the strobe lights of blue that highlighted the outline of tears in yours, his resolve finally shattered. Taehyung pulled you into him wanting to just hold you but your hands hit his chest. “No, Taehyung—“

“Just hold me, please,” he squeezed his eyes shut to hold back a tear, “Please Y/n.” And you did.

It’s just been too long. Three years of attempting to heal from your relationship and you’re not sure if you ever did. So you wrapped your arms around his neck while he crumbled into your hold. You knew it was hard on him too even with all the hurt you caused each other.

This is why you preferred to never see him again. You knew that when you did everything that you bottled up would come flooding out. Hate bubbles up in your heart over the fact that it felt good to hug him. His hand was on your back, fingers pinching your shirt under his grip while the other hand was behind your head keeping you pressed to him.

Taehyung knew he shouldn’t feel this. He shouldn’t still feel hurt after not seeing you for years. He should have grown and learned from his mistakes. You just weren’t right for each other and he knew it all along. Yet any time he thought about you, said your name, or looked at an old photo, his chest would ache. He’d think about what the two of you had. He focused on the good memories praying they’d outweigh the bad one but they never did.

There was no excuse for how you treated each other so why the fuck does he need you to hold him? Why did his heart stop beating the moment you stood in front of him in the hall? Why did his breathing get heavy and his hands tremble?

It felt like an eternity when he finally pulled away but his hands slipped down to your forearms looking down at you and how much you’ve changed. Your hair was different, your style, your body. You didn’t have the fuller cheeks from being younger, your face was more structured. Your voice sounded a little different and even your touch was different.

Not in a way that was repulsive but more so desperate just like his embrace. There were so many things that could be said but neither one of you said anything. It wasn’t the time or place to do it. That’s why when Jungkook called your name, you tore your eyes away from Taehyung.

“Taehyung,” Jungkook said with a harsh tone that Taehyung understood the reason for. “Jungkook.”

“We’re heading out,” Jungkook turned to you looking down at the way you practically held hands, “Are you ready?”

Taehyung looked back at you but he didn’t say a single thing. What was he supposed to say without feeling the urge to cry? When you released your hold on him and his skin grew cold from the ghost of you, he knew the moment was over. You’d go back to never seeing each other and he’d live through the memories of your past together.

“Um,” you sniffled, “Yes, I’m ready.”

He let you leave him, replacing your place in his heart with a black hole.

Jimin watched out for Taehyung as he cut through the crowd. Sohyun leaned into him to whisper, “Who’s Y/n?”

“It’s better not to ask around Taehyung,” Jimin told her as Taehyung came back. He cut through the group and went straight for the bar. His ring tapped against the counter and when the bartender came he asked for straight Scotch and nothing else. Jimin was cautious as he came next to him. He forced a smile on his face, “Are you trying to get drunk tonight? Good idea, drink to have fun.”

“I’m drinking to forget.”

You were in a dark room surrounded by pictures in the process of developing. Music was turned all the way up and you felt your eardrums thrum with the sound. For the past couple days you’ve busied yourself with work.

Your overhead headphones construed your side view so when a hand touched your back, you jumped. The wet photo in your hand nearly fell to the ground and you cursed at the person behind you. Jungkook motioned for you to take the headphones off, “You’re going to lose your hearing. I could hear it all the way over here.”

You slid them down to your neck as you used clothing line clips to hang the photo against a string that crossed the ceiling.

“Helps me focus.”

“Alright,” Jungkook said as he looked at some of the pictures that were already near completion, “Are you ready to talk yet?”

“About?” You asked drying your hands before walking to the door. Jungkook followed after, watching you squint at the brightness of the other room. He bit his lip debating if he should bring it up, but he knew he needed to before you shut yourself off again. “Taehyung.”

Your hand froze mid-process of brushing your hair out of your face, “What about him?”

“Jimin called me,” he said, going to the front counter of the studio, “And I think you should meet up with him to sit down and talk.”

“Nobody’s asking you what you think,” you snapped, making his brows furrow.

“I know, but I’m going to tell you anyway. Wanna know why?” Jungkook said more sternly now, “Because I watched my best friend cry in the arms of a man who you haven’t seen in three years. The same man you loved for a very long time and broke apart when the two of you stopped talking. So I’m sorry if you don’t care what I think but I’m not going to sit around and watch you ruin yourself all over again because you didn’t get the closure you needed.”

You felt close to tears just by what he was telling you and you had to look away, “What am I supposed to do? I don’t have his number and he won’t want to see me again.”

Jungkook gave you a look that told you ‘be so serious right now’, “Jimin gave it to me in case you wanted it. So I gave him yours.”

You whined, “Jungk—“ There it was.

The ringtone.

He looked down at the phone on the counter with an unknown number displayed. He cleared his throat, “I’m going on my lunch.”

You debated letting it ring but it didn’t take long for you to answer. You picked up your phone, sliding the green button over and holding your breath, “Hello?”

His breath hitched, gripping his phone in a tight fist as he looked at Jimin. Jimin got up from his chair and left without another word, “Y/n? It’s um, it’s Taehyung.”

“Yeah…” you mentally slapped yourself for your poor response but Taehyung continued anyway. “Are you busy? Do you have time to talk?”

“I have some time, Jungkook’s just on lunch,” you told him looking around the empty studio with photos hanging everywhere.

Taehyung was silent for a moment. He tried to string together the right words to form his thoughts, “Can we meet when you’re off?”

“Where?” You asked him.

“Somewhere private.” He needed somewhere that he could cry in peace, “Jimin said we can use his place. He’s going out later so he won’t be home.”

So that’s how you found yourself in front of a building you were a stranger to. It’s been three years, you didn’t even live in your old apartment, you couldn’t expect other people to. You went up to the right floor and found the right door but you still hesitated. Unknown to you though, Taehyung was on the other side pacing back and forth anxiously. He heard your footsteps, he was only waiting for a knock that never came.

Your fist was inches away from the door but you still didn’t make a sound. The first attempt to, the door was whipping open. Taehyung stood there staring at you with a look you couldn’t pinpoint. It was strange when you used to know every emotion he felt. “Can I come in?”

“Ye—Yes, please,” Taehyung cleared his throat, moving over and you walked in. You distracted yourself by looking around but you were too aware of his presence.

There was a lot of small talk at first. A bit of silence in there too. Each question was shallow and tedious taking turns asking how the other’s been. Asking about occupations and hobbies but avoiding the reason you both were here right now.

“I thought I was never going to see you again,” Taehyung finally said, “And the other night… I think it was too much for me and I acted without thinking when I went after you.”

“I did too,” you confessed, “It just sort of happened.”

“It did.”

Silence fell over you and that’s when the images started. It must’ve hit you at the same time because Taehyung froze in his spot. The last time you saw each other was… fueled by hatred.

Three Years Ago

“That’s why I cheated on you, you piece of shit,” you shouted at him in anger. He knew this, you knew he knew this but the words still stung deep in his chest.

“Yeah? Well I cheated on you too,” he confessed venomously as he followed after you out of the bedroom you shared. The yelling echoed off the walls of the hallway and the dim lights made it hard to see clearly. You scoffed, turning to him, “Oh really? Then you can go and run back to whatever bitch you got to sleep with you.”

“Don’t worry, I will, God knows you won’t sleep with me,” he yelled walking out into the living room, “Since you can’t stand the thought of touching me.”

“Why would I want to? So that you can feel needed even when you’re not,” you yelled making him glare at you. You didn’t stop, “Because news flash, I don’t need you, I never did.”

“Fuck you,” he gritted his teeth, “You don’t get to say that to me when you know it’s a lie. You need me more than I will ever need you, remember that.”

“Fuck you! Why’d you stay then? You don’t need me, clearly, so why do you care about me?” You yelled as he got closer to you making you put your hands up to his chest.

“Because I loved you,” Taehyung said, chest to chest with you even with your hands in the way, “And you were too fucking stupid to see that.”

“And yet you cheated.”

“You did too!”

“Because you couldn’t even look at me!” You shouted, “You would rather look at whatever girl paid attention to you at that moment.”

“Right, because you’re such a fucking saint, Y/n? Because I’m the problem and you can never do anything wrong without blaming someone else. You just want an excuse because you couldn’t even keep your legs closed,” he said bitterly and you could see the redness in his eyes and you pushed him back. That hurt, it came from a place of hatred.

“Fuck you.”

“Fuck you,” he shouted back at you, his hands on your arms to keep you from pushing him, holding you back.

“Fuck you,” you cried, “Fuck you and I never want to see you again. You’re worthless to me.”

He scoffed, “Oh I’m worthless now? Is that right? Who the fuck was here when you had no one? Me! That’s who. And how’d you repay me? By sleeping with my best friend!”

“Because you slept with someone! And I don’t regret doing it,” you said and he could feel more anger bubbling up inside him. He removed his hands from you and put some space before he blew up, “Then go be with him then so I could go fuck whoever I want without having to worry about you.”

“You already do!” You argued.

“Yeah because you couldn’t do one thing for me when I did everything for you!” Taehyung yelled.

“Oh, so that means you have the right to fuck a bitch behind my back?” You followed after him as he went to the kitchen to distance himself, “Because last time I checked, all you did was act like you were there for me.”

“I was! You know I did everything because you needed me,” he pointed at himself for emphasis, jabbing at his own chest to release anger. His emotions were getting high and his voice groggy as he held back tears.

You were crying, feeling shut down and bitter, “I don’t need anyone, especially not a cheating lowlife dick like you.”

“Because you’re so much better than me? You’re a slut who has to cheat on her boyfriend to feel validated because you hate yourself so fucking much that you ruin everything good for you.” He said in complete hatred stalking toward you with an accusing finger pointed at you.

You laughed dryly, “You aren’t good for me. You’re a fucking liar and a cheater and I want nothing to do with you.”

“Then leave!” He gripped your arm pulling you to the door. You yanked your arm back, “I will, and I’m not coming back.”

“I don’t need you to.”

“Right, keep lying to yourself.”

“I’m not lying.”

You looked back at him, “So I’m imagining all those nights you’d cry to me? Every single time you’d tell me how much you needed me. How much you loved me and would never hurt me? All those times you promised me you wouldn’t be like your cheating, piece of shit father? Yeah? Well look at you, like father like son.”

“Don’t you fucking dare Y/n.”

You know what you just said was awful but you couldn’t stop. You couldn’t let him know he’s hurting you more. “Or what? You’re gonna cheat on me again like your dad did on your mom? You say you hate him but guess fucking what Taehyung. You’re just like him.”

“You fucking bitch. H—How could y—,” he had to stop in order to be able to just breathe without it hurting.

“Because it’s true and you know it so don’t sit there and cry like you’re the victim when you fucked someone in my bed.”

He was in your face, finger a centimeter away, “This is why everyone in your shitty life leaves you. Because you don’t know how to shut the fuck up. Every word that comes out of your stupid fucking mouth. Everything you do disgusts me. Every single time you lied to my face, told me you loved me and that you’d never hurt me. And it was all a lie so don’t you fucking stand there and tell me I’m like my father when you know, you know how much he hurt me.”

“You never loved me.”

“I loved you Y/n and you never cared. It doesn’t matter how much someone might love you when you fucking hate yourself!” Taehyung yelled, “And no matter how much someone assures you, you don’t care because you want people to feel sorry for you.”

“Fuck you. You didn’t love me. You chose me because nobody else in your sorry life loved you enough to stick around!” You shouted shoving him back.

“So go!” His voice was scary, “Leave like you’ve always wanted to do because I’m fucking done with you, Y/n.”

You glared, backing away and into the bedroom you shared. He followed after you watching you walk straight into the closet to yank out two big suitcases. You opened your drawers and pulled clothes off the hangers. Taehyung panicked, watching you throw everything in. He went to you, “So you’re really leaving?”

“You’re done with me, remember? You said it two seconds ago so fuck you, I’m done,” you said pushing past him to the bathroom, “And I never want to see you again.”

He reached for your clothes to take them back out only for you to yank his hand back, “Don’t touch my shit.”

“Fine, fuck you then,” Taehyung said closing your suitcase as you pulled them off the bed and walked them out the bedroom, “Get out. I never want to see you again! I regret every single minute I’ve wasted on you.”

“I hate you!” You shouted opening the front door and he scoffed, “I hate you!”

The door slammed shut.

On one side of the door was a man crumbling to the floor, knees to his chest hiding his face as he cried heavily. His breathing got jagged, heaving to just calm down but he couldn’t. He couldn’t. He couldn’t and it was getting harder to breathe.

“Fuck Y/n,” he told himself, “Fuck Y/n. Fuck Y/n. Fuck!”

“I fucked up,” he cried.

You knew your face was a mess as you stayed outside his door, trembling hand reaching for the door handle but you couldn’t. You couldn’t go back and apologize. Not this time. No, this time was bad.

So all you could do was turn around and leave his life.

Present

“I’m sorry, fuck,” he hid his face behind a hand so you wouldn’t see him cry, “I don’t know why I’m crying, I—you don’t know how—I just want—fuck, I can’t breathe.”

“Tae,” you moved closer but before you could touch him, you stilled. You shouldn’t console him. You don’t need to. You’re not dating, haven’t been for the last three years. You had a big fight that broke you two to a million pieces. There was no reason for you to want to comfort him. There was no reason for you to cry in his arms the other night.

But you reach for him anyway, pulling him against your chest as he full on sobbed into your sweater, tight grip on your hoodie until his knuckles turned white. Your hand was around his face, fingers laced through his hair pressing him into your neck. It took a moment but he was calming down, all it took was the soft press of your lips to his hair to make him look up. Your eyes met and he could see now that your eyes were red like his. They watered like his did.

“Sorry,” he cleared his throat awkwardly as he wiped a tear away, “I don’t know why I’m crying.”

“I missed you.”

His eyes snapped back to you, “What?”

“I don’t want you to think it was easy leaving,” you confessed, making his body go rigid. He never thought it was easy, not for himself anyway.

Taehyung really did love you but at the time it felt like he didn’t know how to anymore. It was a very rocky time in your relationship and the two of you acted impulsively. You had never had a fight like that, never. In your four years of dating, never did you fight like that. And it hurt.

It really fucking hurt.

“It was my fault,” he broke the silence that had fallen over you two. He was going to own up and take the blame after three years of regret. It really was his fault though. He’s the one who felt a burden.

He’s the one who couldn’t deal with the weight of your problems anymore. He’s the one who looked somewhere else for the love he didn’t think you could give him anymore. He couldn’t be there for you like he wanted to and it ultimately drew him away. No, he drew himself away.

He was the one to get down on himself. He’s the one who made himself believe you didn’t need him. He’s the one who would ignore you. Not the other way around, because he was the one to cheat on you first, right?

It might have happened around the same time. Four years together made it easy to know how the other was feeling. It’s unsure if he’s the one to distance himself first or if it was you. Either way, you didn’t want to deal with him either and slept with someone while he was away.

It’s not that you didn’t love him, you held so much love for him that it turned to hatred. Hate fueled by the fact that he was your one and only. Like, when you release all your built-up anger on one person just because you know they’ll never leave? Yeah, that’s what happened. Neither of you thought you’d actually leave each other. You were trying to hurt but never ended things.

At least not until the fight where your true feelings were unveiled. When every little thing you disliked about the other came spilling out. It was just one fight. That’s all it took for the two of you to fall apart and that’s what hurts him the most.

Four years together. From the time he was 19, kicked out of his mother’s house, to 23–when he cheated. You were just 18 when you met, fresh out of high school running into him at a record store. You helped him pick out some cassette tape since he didn’t have a phone to listen to music. The first night you met, you listened like nobody else ever had.

Then, a couple months later, he was kicked out and forced to live with his dad unless he found somewhere else. But there you were, warm and inviting, letting him sneak in through your bedroom window every night. Letting him hold you as he told you about whatever happened to him as a kid. Listening to you open up about your family, your fear of abandonment, your insecurities. He’d place a kiss on every part of your body you hated telling you over and over again that he loved you.

Because he did.

He loved you when you moved in together at 20. He loved you when he bought his first car giving you a ride in the passenger seat. He loved you when you made it through your first two years of college. He loved you even when you got too busy for each other. When his life was taking him one way while it took you the other. Even when he felt the burden of only having you on his side. Knowing he was the only one of yours.

Four years together, happy together. And wanna know why it all went to ruin?

Because neither one of you can accept any form of happiness without caution. Because in the beginning the two of you were moving so fast to be there for each other that when things stopped moving, and all you felt was happy. It felt undeserving, like it would expire. Like now that everything’s good in your lives something has to come in and fuck it up.

And that’s what you did. You cheated. He cheated. No matter what excuse you had, you hurt each other. All because what you had felt undeserving.

“It’s my fault Taehyung,” you said looking away from him, “I… I think I wanted to hurt you.”

He shook his head, “No, I wanted to hurt you. I was mad that it was too perfect that I distanced myself. I wasn’t used to being content with the life I made with you. It felt like I didn’t deserve it, you, I mean. After everything you did for me and all I wanted to do was ruin it because I’m not a good person. I didn’t deserve to be happy with you.”

You didn’t say anything for a long moment. It’s not that you forgot how happy you two were, it was hard not to be with everything you overcame together. It’s not that you agreed with him either. You shook your head, “Please, stop blaming yourself. I was the one who slept with Jisoo and I know that it hurt you more than what you did to me.”

He winced at the name like it was still the cause of his nightmares. His old friend, his best friend who came into his life around the time you did. The one who knew how much you meant to him and chose to console you when Taehyung wouldn’t. And he knows it’s your fault, and Jisoo’s, and his, and whatever random chick he slept with.

He wasn’t crying anymore but his nose was still runny and voice was still groggy as he spoke, “I slept with that girl because I was mad at you. I can’t remember why, I think I was just mad in general and the only one I could get back at was you. You’re all I had and for some reason that meant it was you who’d I’d hurt. I thought that if you ever hurt me, it would hurt less if I hurt you too.”

“Tae—“

“Then we had that fight,” he looked away from you, “And we said some really fucked up shit to each other and in that moment I thought I fucking hated you and that I never wanted to see you again in my life. But then you left, and for the first time I was alone without you, and I regretted it instantly. I had no one.”

You didn’t even know what to say. You had too much to say but nothing came out because now was not the time. You knew Taehyung. It didn’t matter what you said at the moment because he’ll continue to blame himself for everything that ever happened. That’s how he’s always been, even when he cried in your arms after he was kicked out. He blamed himself for not being the son his mother wanted. He blamed himself for hating his dad so much he couldn’t even live with him.

At this moment you felt awful for not crying as much as he was when you know you wanted to. You didn’t want him to think you didn’t feel pain. You just wanted to be strong for him because it would do neither of you any good if you were both breaking down. Right now emotions were high because this is the first actual conversation you’ve had in three years. It’s difficult but once you two get familiarized again it’ll be easier to look back on your difficult past.

“What time does Jimin get back?” You asked now that he was more collected. He gave a tired shrug of his shoulders clearly drained by this whole ordeal. Usually, he would’ve been able to keep his cool composure but whenever he was around you, he always let himself feel.

“Soon,” Taehyung answered, looking at you as you sat next to him on the couch. You were still close from when you hugged him and he had this strong urge to do it again. He pulled on the sleeve of your shirt until you were leaning into him and it gave him a chance to wrap his arms around you. You breathed in his cologne that attached itself to his hoodie hugging him back.

“I’m sorry,” you sighed, sinking further into him as he began to run his fingers through your hair. He placed a kiss on your forehead, “I’m sorry.”

“So that’s it?” Yoongi asked him one day over dinner. Exactly three days after the night at Jimin’s when he last saw you. Taehyung gave a shrug of his shoulders as he focused his attention down on the menu in front of him.

He wonders what you’re doing right now. You’re probably at work or home doing something with photography. That’s what you used to do anyway, but it’s been three years so he’s not sure. You’re not at that level yet where you can talk about your daily lives again. You’re still working through communicating at all.

“I mean, are you two going to see each other again? Are you just friends?” Yoongi asked him, “Did you get the closure you needed?”

“Um, we did talk… but I don’t know,” Taehyung told him and Jimin honestly, “It’s hard to bounce back after not seeing each other for three years.”

“Plus the actual break up,” Jimin added looking at Taehyung, “But you both still definitely feel something right? If you didn’t, you wouldn’t have freaked out the night at the bar.”

“I don’t know,” Taehyung repeated, “I love Y/n, I’m always going to but… it’s not just about how I feel toward her. We did some messed up shit to each other and yeah, it’s been years but… if Y/n can’t forgive me then there’s nothing.”

“Do you forgive Y/n?”

The question was difficult to answer.

On one hand, yes he did. If it meant that he could reconcile whatever the two of you had that made him stay for four years, then yes. A thousand times yes. If it means he gets another four years, eight years, sixteen—he’ll say yes. He’ll forgive the last few months before the fight where shit hit the fan. You can’t compare five months of relationship fighting with three and a half wonderful, loving years. So, the answer should be an obvious yes.

Except it’s not, because then he thinks about the fight. He thinks about the things you said to him and how much they hurt. He thinks about you in bed with his friend. He thinks about the three years where you didn’t talk. Where he didn’t know how you were, where you were, what you were doing. If you moved on from him or if you thought about him every now and then like he thought about you.

Yes, he did date other people but it was never more than a couple months. He could never quite feel for them what he felt for you. Though, he doesn’t know if it was because of love or because of lack of closure that had you in the back of his mind. Like, you were only together until he was 23, but you were together during some of the hardest years in his life. You were both young and in love, and in pain. It’s hard for him to never feel anything for you again.

“I think I can, overtime I mean,” Taehyung finally said, “Right now I think it’s about getting used to each other again.”

“Bu—“

Everyone stopped talking as their eyes shifted to Taehyung’s phone. It was your new number calling and it had him answering immediately, “Hello?”

“Hi, uh, do you have a minute or are you doing something?” You asked as you twisted the key into the front door of the studio.

He looked down at the dinner menu in front of him, “I’m not busy, did you want anything?”

You stood up with the phone pressed to your ear as you looked around. You’re not sure if this is a good idea but you’ve only had one actual conversation with him and it ended in tears. Maybe you should try for another, “I just wanted to know if you’ve had dinner yet? I just got off and I wanted to see if you’re doing anything.”

“Now?” He asked, looking at his two friends who listened patiently. His gaze shifted to his glass of water and menu. “Where?” He listened as you told him where to meet up and with that the call ended.

Jimin was the first to speak up, “You’re leaving?”

“Y/n, she uh,” he looked down at the menu again, “wants to get dinner together, so, um.”

“It’s fine, we get it,” Yoongi said, waving Taehyung off. Jimin gave a small nod and before Taehyung left they told him to be careful.

When he finally did arrive at the restaurant you were already there waiting for him. On his side of the table was his usual choice of drink and menu. He looked down at the drink before smiling softly, “Sorry I’m late.”

“You’re not late,” you told him with a shy smile as you ran your fingers through your nervously, “Thanks for coming, I know it was last minute.”

It grew quiet when you both looked at the menu but it didn’t feel awkward. With the quiet buzz of what was happening in the background. There was a sense of familiarity right now, having dinner together like you used to. The server came by to take your orders and once the distraction of menus was gone, you just looked at each other shyly.

“Do you usually work this late?” Taehyung cleared his throat nervously as he tried making actual conversation with you.

“Not usually but I had a late appointment and I wanted to get the pictures done as soon as possible,” you told him, “And Jungkook left early so I had to close.”

Taehyung’s eyes widened slightly, “So you opened your studio?” A sense of pride filled his chest, proud to know you finally took photography more seriously. He’s not sure how many times he’d tell you that you had a talent for it.

“Yeah, well Jungkook and I did together. We still don’t have additional staff but we’re thinking about getting an assistant finally. The workload is just getting too much,” you opened up to him so naturally like you were falling back into your old routine together.

Taehyung nodded, listening to you tell him about how you’re doing. It’s nice to know you got your studio with Jungkook. He always liked the guy, he was a good friend to you and Taehyung always had respect for him. He played with his straw wrapper as the two of you looked into each other’s eyes.

You were the first to crack, looking away with a little smile, “Are you still doing something with filmography?”

He tilted his head in thought, “Sort of? I’m director/producer for a YouTube channel that does weekly segments, it pays well and it’s pretty enjoyable. I get to meet different online creators and sometimes I get to go on trips for certain videos.”

“If you meet a celebrity, get me an autograph.”

“If I can go to you for headshots,” he said and you both nodded in agreement.

The flow between you was so natural and enjoyable. You had so much to talk about and once you got the momentum it was hard to stop. Even when the server came with your food, you continued the conversation without stopping.

If anything it was easier now. Three years of maturing and growing as individuals and not a single unit did wonders for you both. It’s not that you were holding each other back but you were able to focus on yourselves for some time. So now that you’ve reconnected it’s not the same sort of conversations as before and there was a sense of ease between you.

When the bill came, Taehyung took it, already getting his wallet out. You shook your head, “I’m paying, I invited you.”

“No, it’s fine,” he said but you took it from him rushing to give it to the server with your money.

He smacked his lips together in disagreement but let it slide. Then an idea came to mind, something that could either go right or wrong but now it was in his head and he needed to get it out. Another server came and started clearing the table as you waited for your card back. He looked at you, “Next time, I’ll pay.”

You looked back at him as you got your card back. He waited to see how you’d react when you gave a small nod, “That’s fair.”

“Can I drive you home?” He asked once you two were out and you looked away in thought. He waited for you to answer but you didn’t, so instead he bit the bullet and asked, “Or, um, do you want to have a few drinks at my place?”

Still, it took you a while to respond but you were finally able to nod, standing up with him and going to his car. He resisted the urge to reach for your hand and led the way. The drive was a comfortable sort of quiet with music playing in the background.

When you first arrived at the apartment you were surprised. Some things looked familiar and some things didn’t but it was so utterly Taehyung that you liked it either way. Taehyung stood back, suddenly nervous as you looked around. Once upon a time your shared place was covered in pictures of you together and some of only you. After the break up he couldn’t look at a picture of you without getting worked up in either sadness or anger.

In an attempt to act natural he went to get wine, filling two glasses and coming back out to you. He walked up behind you tapping your shoulder with a glass that you took with a thanks. You looked back at him, “Give me a tour, yeah?”

“It’s not a lot, you know I like simple,” he said but agreed anyway, leading you through the living room to the kitchen. You took small sips from your wine as you followed listening to him tell you about whatever he wanted to in order to fill in any moments of silence.

When you got to his bedroom is when something felt different. It was like a sense of deja vu that neither one of you had noticed at first.

When you were 18 and you had just met Taehyung he invited you to his place. It was before you started dating and he still lived with his mom and siblings. Nobody was home and it was before you were leaving to see a movie. At that time you were just friends but you remember how it made your heart flutter. He was so nervous too, trying to hide whatever he thought was too childish and you’d tease him about it.

Now you’re in your mid twenties standing in his bedroom listening to him tell you about when he first moved in. Oh, how things have come full circle right now.

You had been staring at him for a while without noticing it. Taehyung had grown silent the moment he noticed it, looking into your eyes with a sense of longing.

This was it, right? Maybe things could reconcile between you and him. If he wanted things to happen, he had to be bold.

“Y/n,” he finally said, seeming to snap you out of whatever was on your mind, “Come here.”

Your brows furrowed for a moment but it didn’t stop you from doing as told. You were close to each other now, and he looked at you with an expression you were familiar with. Yet, something was different now, it was sexier.

His facial features have sharpened since he was 23 and his voice deepened. But the look in his eyes remained the same, a pure look of lust. So maybe it was the proximity or the pent up wanting, but it was happening fast.

It was like a breath of air was knocked out of you both with the force of your lips meeting. His hands were holding either side of your head, his head dipping down to meet your lips. You wrapped your arms around his neck trying to get him closer as your lips began to move. It was soft, and warm, and everything you’ve needed for the last three years.

He was melting into you, pressing himself as close as possible, a groan rumbling in his throat with the urge to kiss you more. On instinct Taehyung’s hands came to rest on your hips, savoring You’re touch for as long as he could have it. You were forced to pull back to catch your breath, breathing slightly heavier.

Then you were pulling away, kissing at his jaw, neck, ear—anything you could. He was sliding his hands along your back, lowering them more and more, lifting a leg of yours up by the knee. You didn’t notice the bed behind you until he was pushing you onto it.

There was absolutely no hesitation in the way you tugged at each other’s clothes wanting to get them off. Once your shirts were gone, he was leaning back down for a kiss.

Taehyung tore through your bottom layers leaving only your undergarments on. Your legs spread open for him to lay between them and you couldn’t stop the light moan that slipped from your lips. Taehyung swallowed the sound, his covered member meeting your core with a soft grind. He was already hardening. It’s been too long.

“I missed you,” he groaned into your neck, sucking marks down to your collarbone as your hands trailed up his sides, just wanting to feel you. His mouth drew open when you met his hips with your concealed cunt following the rhythm of his movement.

His hands were pulling you up, sliding behind your back and undoing the clasp of your bra. You helped him get it off you, gasping softly when he took your boobs. “So fucking much,” he sighed, rolling a nipple between his thumb feeling the familiar weight in his hands. They always were perfect to him, fit in his hands and mouth. Taehyung lowered until his mouth was on your right tit, feeling your body whither under him.

“Tae,” you breathed out trying to close your legs but you couldn’t with him lying between you. Taehyung trailed kisses down your body, feeling down every bit of skin he could find, chasing the little moans you released to his wanton ears.

“Hurry,” you whined as he left a kiss on your inner thigh, palms flat over them to keep you open. “It’s been so long.”

You weren’t thinking about anything but what it would feel like to have his mouth on your pussy again. He always knew how to lick your clit and roll his tongue the way you liked.

Like everything about her, the taste of her was perfect too. He pulled on your panties, letting them hang off a leg before diving back in with absolutely no patience. His arms circled both your thighs pressing you flushed against his head and in a quick and needy move, his tongue swiped along your folds.

Your mouth drew open in a silent moan as he flattened it out before doing it again feeling your slick on his tongue and swallowing back whenever he could. Your hand was in his hair pulling at it just the way he liked you too and it had him sharpening his movements. His tongue stiffened whenever he slid it between the folds that hid your pretty little clit from him, before flattening whenever he went lower again.

When his tongue made it between your walls as deep as it could go, is when you really started moaning. He hit a spongy wall that felt slicker and he let his tongue thrust into it. Your thighs twitched, hand gripping his hair a little tighter and he did it again.

“Tae,” you moaned, “Tae,” he did it again. Nose now driven against your clit wetting the entire lower half of his face as he ate you out. You didn’t even warm him when your release flooded him and he didn’t seem to care. He lapped at your cum like a starved man. Three years without the taste of you on his tongue, that’s how much he’s needed you.

When he finally pulled away, you didn’t hesitate to sit up, hands on his briefs pulling them down. He groaned at your reference letting you yank him closer. He settled between your legs letting yours hook over his thighs completely open to him and he line his bare, hard cock against your leaching entrance.

There was no question about protection but neither of you cared at the moment. So when you felt the first raw inch of his cock sliding into your folds, you moaned loudly. No stretching, nothing, just your slick and his precum to keep you wet and yet the slide was easy.

He didn’t take it slow, there was no stopping until he was at the hilt but that’s how you liked it. He knew that you hated taking him slowly, he was big but you always made him go all the way in before adjusting. You never made him slide in only inch by inch.

His eyes crossed with a moan as he sank in, his arms nearly giving in, almost dropping his weight on you. You took deep breaths trying to adjust to his length, hands trailing up his stomach toward his chest. Taehyung shivered under your touch, feeling every ridge of your pussy for the first time in a long time. It felt like the first time the two of you ever had sex, you still felt as tight, as warm, as inviting. He needed to move, he was already so close. It was hard not to be when he missed you so much.

After all this time acting like he didn’t care about you anymore, nobody believed him. There’s a reason why nobody brings you up around him or why he had to put every gift you’d ever given him out of his sight.

“Taehyung,” you licked your dry lips as your nails scraped down his sides, going down to his hips and guiding him to move. He reared back, dragging out his heavy coco until only his tip was embraced by your tight walls. A hand moved up to your hair as he combed out of your face lovingly. Then, he thrusted back in until his hips met yours once more.

Your mouth drew open in a moan and without breaking eye contact he did it again. Your fingers dug into his hips, legs coming up slightly, “More.”

He bit his lower back in an awful attempt to hold back a grunt before collapsing over you. “Tell me, Y/n, did you miss me?”

“So much,” you moaned into his hair as he tucked his face into the nape of your shoulders with his eyes squeezed shut as he drew himself out to the tip, and sank back in, rougher this time.

“Yes, Tae, oh my god,” you lifted your hips to meet his thrusts, moving quicker so that he could match your rhythm, “So damn much.”

Taehyung hissed, rocking into you faster, hand coming up to your chin and gripping softly as he used it to turn you to look at him. His forehead pressed against yours as the sound of skin slapping filled his bedroom. The sound was carnal and intimate, like a feeling between two lovers that had been separated for too long. Which is exactly what the two of you were.

Two people who were inseparable. Two people who spat words of pure hatred at each other just to see the other break. Two people who swore to never speak again, only to be in bed with moans leaving their lips.

“Fucking beautiful,” he whispered again taking the chance to look at you and the way your pretty lips formed an ‘o’ everytime he dragged himself out. You were tightening around him, not yet close to release but definitely feeling the pleasure. It was making every pull of his cock that much harder to get out, like you were sucking him in.

He still held a grip on your chin even though you wouldn’t dare look away from. His nose pressed against yours as he changed rhythm. He let all his weight fall on you, feet digging into the mattress as he began to grind his dick into your folds. He was so close that your clit felt pleasure from the quick rub of his pelvis against yours. His other hand was reaching for yours, holding it over your head letting the bounce of the mattress aid his thrusts.

Your tits were against his chest, every exposing part of your bodies as close as they could be to each others. You leaned upwards until your lips met his closing the small distance between you two. Taehyung’s eyes fell shut, relishing in your affection he had never gotten over.

There was a reason why his other relationships never lasted. They didn’t make him feel the way you do in every form possible. It wasn’t even just the sex, which has always been amazing with you, it’s your entire essence. To him it could never be replicated or replaced. He has always known that if he ever ended up with someone who wasn’t you, he wouldn’t have loved them as much. You took it all and there’s no way he’d ever be able to take it all back and give it to someone else.

And he was a young, damn fool to ever do something to lose you.

Your tongue licked at his lips, making him part them for you. Yours was soft, pressing against his in a wet glide before rolling over it. He had been in his world and you knew this, that’s what made rolling on top of him that much easier.

“Fu—ngh,” he moaned into your mouth when you kept his hand where yours had been, only letting his other one go down to your ass.

Your back arched as you sank down onto his length in the new position, his fingers digging into your ass enough to leave marks.

“I thought I hated you,” you confessed in the middle of riding his dick with a new vigor, new motivation, “I thought I never wanted to see you again.”

“I know,” he gasped watching as your hair all fell to one side as you looked at him with a dark, wanting gaze. Your hips were rolling against him in perfect waves that had his dick moving back and forth with each roll. Your brows narrowed looking a little annoyed now, “But now I’m riding your cock, Tae.”

He released a deep groan as his body rolled with your movements, “I know baby.” The word slipped off his tongue naturally, like it used to, and it made you clench around him. He felt two steady beats of your pussy pulsing around him and he couldn’t take it. He needed to cum.

Without hesitating, he lifted you off, letting you lay and on your stomach as he laid next to you turning on his side. You backed up into him, lifting a leg up to help him sink back in and once he had, he held your leg.

“I missed your pussy so damn much,” he growled pressing his face into the side of your face as he fucked you in the new position. “Always so fucking wet and tight. I could never hate fucking you.”

“Mmh,” you moaned, the build up becoming too much. You brought an arm back to his side in warning and he caught on quickly. So his hand went straight for your clit. It was soaked with your juices and he rubbed small circles into the wetness. He angled his cock further in feeling your walls get unbelievably tighter and he swears he can’t get out.

Your pussy twitched with release, a steady cream coating his cock with a push and he felt like he was drowning.

Fuck, he missed you.

He missed you.

He missed you.

“Oh fuck,” he had to take his cock out or else he would cum.

He missed you.

“Y/n,” he moaned as his wall cracked, cum landing on your lower back as he hugged you, “Y/n. Y/n.”

The two laid there for a long time, neither sure what to do. You just had sex with a man who hurt you as much as you had hurt him.

The sun hit his face in an unpleasant way. It was a rude awakening after a very long night. In order to hide from it, he turned on his side to use you as a shield.

His hand touched an empty side, feeling nothing.

His heart sank looking around the rest of the room.

Nobody.

Taehyung sat up, scratching his head in confusion looking over his room again. His ear picked up the sound, water being played with and his gaze shifted to his bathroom. He was on his feet, sheet wrapped around his lower half and opened the door.

You looked over to him as he stood at the door. You were in his bathtub, soapy bubbles in the water and droplets down your skin. His heart rate steadied as a shy smile formed on his face, “Can I come in?”

You nod silently watching Taehyung drop the towel and come over to you. He set a foot in and then the other, sitting behind you as you moved forward. You turned slightly to look at him, still quiet and in thought.

You nod silently watching Taehyung drop the towel and come over to you. He set a foot in and then the other, sitting behind you as you moved forward. You turned slightly to look at him, still quiet and in thought.

He could sense your concerns as he placed a soft kiss on your shoulder, “Do you wanna talk about last night?”

You bit your bottom lip as he took the loofah from your hands and ran it along your back. “I don’t know.”

“Do you regret it?” He asked cautiously, trying to get a good view of your reaction. “Do you?” You asked as he handed it back to you so you could wash him too. He shook head no.

“I don’t either,” you said stiffly, “But I don’t know what it means.”

Your eyes met and you could tell he didn’t know either.

It was obvious you still loved each other and that there was something there. You also knew that you weren’t loyal to each other once and it was enough to scare you.

But three years is long enough to mature and one thing was clear, even after time, he’s still the one you want.

It just scares you to fully trust each other like you used to.

His touch was soft as his hand grazed yours, “I won’t ask anymore. When we’re both ready we’ll talk.”

“Thank you,” you said looking up to him and leaning in, kissing the corner of his mouth affectionately.

The Past — 18 year old Y/n, 19 year old Taehyung

You weren’t asleep yet but you were in bed. The walls of your childhood bedroom were covered in various images, some of your boyfriend. It’s been a couple days since you last seen him and you miss him.

Just as you turned on your side to face the wall, there a quiet tapping on glass. You turned quickly, heart racing in gear before a smile formed on your face. You looked to the door to make sure it was locked before hopping out of bed. You lifted the window as quietly as you could letting Taehyung sit on the sill.

“What are you do—mmh,” his lips pressed against yours with need. He slid through the opening as he made it into your room listening to you shush him. “Can I sleep over?” He asked giving you another kiss now that he was inside.

“Yes but shut up, my parents are sleeping.” He noddded in response, tossing his backpack on your bed before turning to pull you into an embrace, “I missed you.”

“It’s been a week,” you stated letting him move you to the bed, wrapping your arms around his neck. He shook his head, “Too long.”

“I thought you were stuck at home,” you said as he lied down next to you. He shrugged, “She kicked me out.”

“What?”

“Told me to go live with my dad instead but you know I won’t.”

“So what are you gonna do?” You asked turning on your stomach to look at him. He looked away, “I don’t know. Probably sleep on Jimin’s couch until his parents kick me out too. I have to save up for a place.”

“Stay here for a few nights,” you said leaning forward to rest your head on his chest. He bit his lip, “What about your parents?”

“They’re in bed by eight, sneak in after that. I’ll leave my window open, or the back door. Just lock it up when you’re in,” you told him as he began to run his fingers through your hair.

He smiled warmly, pressing a soft, quick kiss on your nose, “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

THE END

::.

19 year old Tae in fic

23 year old Tae in fic

vs

26 year old Tae in fic

just imagine 😍

taglist: @jiminzfilter @nuniah @notmyfaultbutours @whoa-jo @thvlover @rerefundslocals @catbaerry @jeonjcngkook

look down on me like that - masterlist (explicit)

genre: slow burn enemies to lovers hatefucking coworkers au, smut (w some eventual angst)

pairing: yoongi x reader ft. chaotic bestie jimin & cutie coworker jungkook

summary: your asshole coworker min yoongi has made it his personal mission to ruin your life.

contains: explicit sexual content - enemies/coworkers to lovers, hate sex, accidental voyeurism, semi-public sex, dirty talk, mutual teasing, slow burn, a whole lotta general banter, truly excessive alcohol consumption, & prepare for extreme secondhand embarrassment

🖤 each individual chapter will have its own warnings! please read them and proceed with caution where appropriate 🖤

✨ read on AO3 ✨ main masterlist ✨ chapter updates! ✨

chapter one 7.2k - “I still can’t believe you actually lied your way into this job.”

chapter two 6.1k - “Do you like tteokbokki?”

chapter three 8.2k - “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you liked what you saw.”

chapter four 8.2k - “Yeah, you like that?”

chapter five 11.4k - “Do you want to hear a funny story?”

chapter six 6.2k - “If you want it so bad, then beg for it.”

chapter seven 8.9k - “Oh my god. You do have a weakness.”

chapter eight 15.3k - “I’m sorry, is this a booty call?”

chapter nine 16.0k - “And the Grammy goes to…”

chapter ten 13.1k - “I just want you to be happy.”

colour me in | jjk (m) | masterlist

Jungkook’s door only opens for you when there’s a barter: a trade of lust and haze. But today you knock for something more, as intriguing as it is frightening – and you hope it doesn’t close his door forever.

➳ pairing: Jungkook x reader

➳ genre: fwb, fake dating, college!au; fluff, angst, smut

➳ contents & warnings: artist/fuckboy!JK, annoying parents, endearing friends, lots of smut and fluff, misunderstandings; and more chapter specific warnings! | 18+

➳ current word count: 146.8k

➳ status: ongoing

➳ cmi’s mood: still with you and my you by Jungkook | collaborative playlist 🎶

⁂ CHAPTERS

✩ indicates parts relevant to the story | ❀ indicates drabbles (can be read as stand alones)

PART I: THE SEEDS

⤞ colour me in (9.8k) ✩ | lowkey by niki

“I need you to be my boyfriend. Please.” “Your what now?”

⤞ cmi: outlines (10.6k) ✩ | slow down by chase atlantic

“If I’m somewhat okay to you, angel… may I kiss you then?”

⤞ cmi: layers (18.4k) ✩ | stay (acoustic) by zedd & alessia cara

“I just want you to know that if I ever put you on a pedestal, it wouldn’t be because of any amount of money you own.”

⤞ cmi: too much (7.2k) ❀ | heavenly by cigarettes after sex

“I think if you wanted to… or tried hard enough, you could break my heart.” “…How?” “I don’t know. I don’t think I wanna find out.”

⤞ cmi: lights (25.2k) ✩ | ruin my life by zara larsson

“You just called me to tell me about the burn?” “Yeah. But I think… also to tell you that I miss you.”

⤞ cmi: the canvas (22.8k) ✩ | with love by christina grimmie

“You’re coloured in now for real, aren’t you?” “Feels more like you’re colouring me in.”

⤞ cmi: not enough (4k) ❀ | this is how you fall in love by jeremy zucker & chelsea cutler

“Those New Year’s Eve parties bore me more than you’d know.” “Why did you come then?” “'Cause… I guess I knew you’d be here.”

PART II: THE GROWING

⤞ cmi: silhouettes (23.7k) ✩ | rumors by sabrina claudio & zayn / kiss me by ed sheeran 

“We’ve played our parts in this fake thing. But I’m still here, with you. Why?”

⤞ cmi: undying roses (3.3k) ❀ | i can’t fall in love without you by zara larsson

“…You remembered?” “How could I not?”

⤞ cmi: monochrome (21.6k) ✩ | reflections by the neighbourhood

“You didn’t look at me even once, I–” “Because if I do… I’ll break.”

⤞ cmi: letters from the heart #1 ✩/❀| jk pov | angels like you by miley cyrus | next!

??

. . .

and more!

⁂ BONUS

⤞ ask my character; colour me in edition ⤞ cmi theories 💭 | cmi drabble ideas 🖌 | cmi memes 😁  ⤞ character sheet 🧑🏻 ⤞ cmi couple’s dream apartment, art by yaila 🤍  ⤞ cmi moodboard, made by ivi 🤍 

⤞ requested drabbles:

frat party; nara & jungkook jealousy; jungkook x reader (ft. taehyung) day out; jungkook x reader jealousy #2 (read cmi5/the canvas first!); jungkook x reader

⤞ FAQ:

When do you update? Randomly! Usually on Fridays around 8PM EST, but I don’t have a schedule for CMI. Whenever a part is done!

How many chapters will CMI have? I haven’t planned out every part yet, so I can’t say for sure. Definitely more than 10, though.

What role does Nara play? Jungkook talks about her in the fourth chapter, Lights. More to come later!

What do ‘part I’, ‘part II’ etc. in the masterpost mean? I explained (or tried to explain :D) it here, but the tl;dr version is that the story is divided into 3 arcs. One arc focuses on one main aspect of their relationship (e.g. arc 1 is the beginning; them getting closer).

✒︎ join the taglist! ♡

© 2022– taegularities. all rights reserved. Reposting and/or translating is not allowed, even if you credit the story properly.

Over The Odds Collection *completed*

ceo!jungkook, sugardaddy!jungkook, smut, angst, fluff, S2L

Keep reading

𝐭𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐬 || jungkook x reader

genre: crack

→ in which jungkook tastes blood whenever someone lies to him. jungkook also tastes blood when he asks his girlfriend if she's still in love with him and she says yes.

an: initially this au idea was supposed to be a long angsty au...turns out im a clown so now it is a short crack au.

introduction

part one | pinterest couple

part two | small punch

part three | sale chips

part four | no plan good plan

part five | metallic taste

part six | no vagina no privileges

part seven | the damn fish again

part eight | no fish

part nine | pal or fart dude, decide

part ten | day 1

part eleven | cut

part twelve | frickin frick

part thirteen | ok lie but why

part fourteen | big brain

part fifteen | ok but food

end

thank you for reading!

Hideaway (M)

Rating: 18+ / Explicit / Mature

Chapters

01: Heavy is the Head that Wears the Crown (9.2k words) | read on ao3 02: How Sharper Than a Serpent’s Tooth It Is to Have a Thankless Child (13.3k words) | read on ao3 03: Love Sought is Good, but Given Unsought, is Better (17.6k words) | read on ao3 04: I Will Live in Thy Heart, Die in Thy Lap, and Be Buried in Thine Eyes (14.2k words) | read on ao3 05: And This Our Life Finds Tongues in Trees (11k words) | read on ao3 Total Word Count: ~65k

Drabbles

Epilogue 1 (2k words) | read on ao3 Epilogue 2 (~9k words) | read on ao3 Epilogue 3 (~5k words) | read on ao3 Epilogue 4 (~9k words) | read on ao3 Epilogue 5 (~11k words) | read on ao3 Epilogue 6 (10k words) | read on ao3 Epilogue 7 (8k words) | read on ao3

Summary

Only the respected patriarch of the Kim dynasty thinks you are worth anything. Despite his vision, the rest of the upper crust sees you as nothing more than your station, a girl borne of a family that only ever existed to serve them. Cruelly, the only thing standing in your way is also the key to your success: having to take care of a smiley, goofy, lanky, drunk manchild in ill-fitting clothes who just happens to be next in line for the throne, and who has just inadvertently kidnapped you. The next three days with Kim Seokjin will make or break you.

Excerpt

Mr. Kim stares at his son. You think you see a fondness in his eyes, but the words that come out of him are, “What the hell is wrong with my idiot son?”  He turns to you, and in the uncomfortable silence, you avert your eyes and fiddle with your phone. Eventually, you meet his gaze. “I’m sorry, I-I’m not sure how to, uh, is that a rhetorical question? Because I don’t feel, uh, what’s the word I’m looking for, uh, qualified to, uh—” “Please keep an eye on him. My legacy is on the line.” You nod and have to suppress a gigantic eye-roll. You want to say “what do you think I’ve been doing all these years?” “Promise me?” Mr. Kim asks suddenly. Now, you definitely see a fondness in his eyes. He’s terrified. He’s pleading you, and you soften. “Yes, sir. Of course. What do you think I’ve been doing all these years?”

Genres: Fluff / Smut / Humor / Angst / AU Businessman!BTS / Assistant!You / E2F2L / Flashbacks / Middle School OT7 / High School OT7 / College OT7 / Law School OT7 / Growing Up Together 

Pairings: Jin x Reader

Content Warnings: Soft smut, hard smut, strained father/son relationship, Jin is a manchild and your life would be so much better if he’d just get it together, but then where would you be, family trauma, bullying, teasing, some domestic violence, some references to physical abuse, references to and scenes of drug use, some kinky stuff, cheating, an icky instance with an unwanted advance, and just themes about expectations, general pressure, and anxiety.

Influences: Two Weeks’ Notice, Hamlet (honestly the whole dynamic between Jin and his dad is very Shakespearean), Succession (but only in theme), Iron Man franchise, Rory/Logan from Gilmore Girls, really into the whole rich boy thing this month apparently

Taglist 💜: permanent @purpleheartsfortae @btseditsworld | hideaway  @simpledomain  @impossiblytinytraveler​ @purplehearts1996​

imagine | jjk 

→pairing: model!jk x reader

→rating/genre: m/18+ | established relationship, smut, fluff

→word count: 7.5k

→warnings: literally everything don’t read this lol. dom jk, bratty sub reader, mentions of relationship issues, alcohol use, degrading, titty sucking, spanking, gentle face smacking w hand and penis, rough sex turned to luv making, fingering, blowjob, face fucking, spitting, brief pussy eating and (here’s the kicker) ass licking, multiple orgasms, unprotected sex (don’t u dare), creampie, snot play (kidding ew kook just wipes reader’s nose they’re in love shh), hotel bathroom sex lets goooo! jk is mean but loves reader so so much, sappy and corny at points

→summary: Jungkook wants nothing more than to spend your anniversary cuddled up in a fancy hotel bathroom, eating takeout and binge watching TV shows. You, on the other hand, have something more exciting in mind. 

→notes: this is my first time writing fanfic so please be gentle with me. i know the smut is not the best. i really struggled with it, definitely not a natural when it comes to writing sexi time. i kinda love every other part of this BUT the smut which sucks because it's like… 70% smut. i tried my best yall. hopefully it will get better with time! feedback is very much appreciated. i hope you enjoy it i love u bye!!

“I can’t believe she’s still with this fucking guy. He’s such a prick…” Jungkook scoffs, shaking his head a little before shoveling another bite of pad thai into his mouth. 

God, he was beautiful. His skin was pink and dewy, eyes glistening as he focused on the k-drama you had been begging him to watch with you all week. Ironically, he was more into it than you were. The show playing on your laptop, which you had very cleverly propped up on the toilet in front of you, only acting as background noise for the true entertainment of the night. Him. 

You felt a wave of warmth rush over you as you watched him. That sticky sweet feeling you get when you love someone. Everything felt warm, inside and out. The shimmery water surrounding you, adorn with bubbles and rose petals, was warm and floral scented. The dim light from the candles you had set up gave the hotel bathroom a warm, saturated glow. The takeout he ordered was still hot on the bamboo tray between the two of you. His fingers, wrapped around a pair of chopsticks as he ate the leftovers from your plate, were painted a fiery shade of red. 

You smiled to yourself, remembering how easy it had been to manipulate him into getting a manicure with you. “I find it sooo sexy when guys paint their nails,” you had told him on a summer day last week, swirling your tongue around a popsicle before suckling on the tip, looking him dead in the eyes. The very next morning he scheduled a dual appointment at your favorite salon. 

Everything felt warm and comfortable.

Feeling you watching him, Jungkook turns his attention to you. The damp ends of his blonde hair were frizzy, sticking out awkwardly around his head like a misshapen halo. He squints his doe eyes when they meet yours. There was eyeliner smudged around the outer corners, leftover from the shoot earlier in the day. He was a mess, but he never looked more angelic.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer,” he says playfully through a mouthful of noodles. It was an obnoxious habit. Disgusting when others did it, but somehow adorable when he did. “I thought you wanted to watch this.” 

“I thought you didn’t, but I’ve seen you tear up at least three times and we’re only on the fourth episode. You’re far too invested, Koo.” 

“I am not,” he whines, “and they added too much cilantro, it’s making my eyes water.”

You giggle and reach your foot out, softly kicking his leg underneath the water. He levels you with a faux sniffle and pout, before reaching his tattooed arm out of the bath and grabbing the bottle of red wine on the floor next to him. He had room service deliver it while you were running the bath, knowing you would complain about the price. Even after all these years together, even though he was more than financially capable of doing so, you still felt uncomfortable with him spending money on you. That never seemed to stop him though.

“Here baby, have some more wine,” he coos, pouring the crimson liquid into your glass, filling up his own, and then placing the bottle back in its spot on the ground. His eyes crinkle again as he takes you in. This time it isn’t out of annoyance. It’s one of those smiles that reaches his pupils before it trickles down the rest of his face. “You look so beautiful right now.”

Your hair is in a messy bun. You have no makeup on. You trail your gaze down to your bare breasts, nipples poking out from behind the bubbles. “You’re only saying that because my tits are out.”

He looks down at your chest and hums in agreement, not inconspicuous in the slightest... 

You tut your tongue, motioning towards his torso. “I don’t know, your tits are bigger than mine these days.” It was a stretch. But not by much. He had been spending a lot more time at the gym recently, trying to grow his frame in preparation for the more provocative jobs he’s been landing. 

Jungkook wasn’t going to let that slide, quickly reaching over and pinching a nipple in retaliation. The audacity. The offending hand retreats before you can swat it away. 

“Ow!” You wince, jutting your bottom lip out very dramatically in an attempt to make him feel bad. He didn’t, the little brat. The faint stinging in your poor nipple was nothing compared to what your body normally endured after a night in the sheets with him. It was all welcome though. You both loved to indulge in that side of him once in a while. 

He lets out one of those high pitched laughs. The one he makes after does something naughty. More of a squeal than anything else. Your favorite. So cute that you can’t bring yourself to scold him further when he spills a little wine into the bathtub.

“Don’t be a brat. Tonight is not the night.”

Hm. Touché. 

As much as you would love to keep going, riling him up to the point where he couldn’t help destroy you, you decide against it… for now, atleast. You know he’s tired. This morning, his angry grumbling and fussing with the covers stirred you awake before sunrise. His photoshoot lasted longer than projected, showing up to your hotel room two hours late with a panicked look on his face. He loved his job, but it undoubtedly took a toll on him. 

“I’ll be good. See?” You raise your glass, clinking it with his. “To us!” 

“To us,” he agrees sternly, plump lips pulling into a grin as he nods his head with purpose. “Happy anniversary, my love.” 

Just like that, it’s been four years. Four years of you. Four years with him. 

You can’t help but reflect on your relationship as you sip the alcohol. It burns as it goes down your throat, but tastes so divine when it hits your tongue. Duality.

Although pure and true, your relationship with Jungkook has been far from perfect. The beginning was rocky. You had just started college and were in shambles, uncertain of what you wanted for your future. You weren’t ready for a relationship; too insecure to let him into your heart. Jungkook’s heart had always been big and accessible, however, his ego was even bigger. It came with the territory. He was just breaking into the modeling industry when you first met. He always felt like he had to prove something to the world. A bit arrogant even. These distinct differences between the two of you ignited explosive arguments, leaving you both burned and in tears. 

However, even in the darkness of night there is the promise of daylight. And even when the sun sets again in the evening, it leaves behind a paradise of colors, making it known that it will come back in the morning. Underneath all the fire, was a spark. At the end of the day, despite all the bullshit, you loved each other deeply. Eventually, you learned how to manage the differences. You communicated so effectively that you had grown to love those previously unbearable qualities in one another. The relationship aged like fine wine. The flames were no longer scorching, just warm and comfortable. 

Here you are, four years later. Spending your anniversary in a bathroom, with subpar takeout, because simply being together was a celebration enough. 

“Well, well, well, look who's crying now. Big baby.”

You hadn’t realized you were tearing up. You say nothing. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” His tone takes a drastic turn when he notices the shift in your mood.

“Nothing, I just love you so much.”

He stares at you blankly for a moment, doe eyes larger than normal, expression unreadable. He lifted the tray out of the bath before reaching over and pausing the show playing on your laptop. Wet hand and all. You would’ve yelled at him if you weren’t so emotional. 

“Come here,” he whispers. Long fingers wrap around your wrist, tugging you forward until you’re positioned in his lap. Straddling him. You wrap your arms around his neck on instinct. 

“I’m sorry I was late today… and I’m sorry I missed your graduation.” 

You’re taken back, not really sure of what to make of his seemingly random confession. Jungkook had been invited to New York for a designer brand showcase a month prior. Easily the biggest break in his career thus far. Unfortunately, the dates overlapped with your graduation ceremony. Of course, you had been bummed out, but you would never deprive him of something that monumental. Later that night, you came home to a note on your doorstep and an apartment full of roses. 

Little did you know, that very same night, Jungkook had snuck off into the bathroom during the afterparty. A picture of you in your cap and gown that your mother texted him had his vision blurry. He contemplated jumping on the next flight home. He never told you about that though. 

“Koo, I understand. Your job is important to-”

“You’re important too, though. The most important.” His arms snaked their way around your waist, constricting you to his body. Face to face. Chest to chest. Nipples to nipples.

“I’m just… I’m so proud of you.” Soft, velvet, palms rub down your back, squeezing when they reach your ass. It was an innocent gesture. He was trying to reassure you. But all you could focus on was how good it felt to be touched by him. 

“I love you, you know that?” 

You peep a halfhearted ‘mhm’, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. The blonde really suited him. He looked so sexy. You wanted to devour him.

“I wasn’t there for you like I should’ve been in the beginning, so I really try to be there now.” The emotion behind his words was evident. Him dismissing your achievements had been a major point of contention in the early days. He’s changed a lot since then. You want to comfort him, tell him he shouldn’t feel guilty, but the way he shifts in his spot makes his pelvis rub right against your core. 

The teenest tiniest moan slips past your lips.

“__, are you even listening to me?”

If you said yes, it would be a lie. His words were like the abandoned k-drama, white noise. You slide your hands to his cheeks, pressing your forehead against him, inhaling his scent. Overwhelmed by him. Maybe it was because you haven’t had sex in over a week, which was almost unheard of in your relationship. Maybe it was because you’ve never felt more loved and validated by anyone like you did him. Whatever it was, it was turning you on. Fast. 

“I am baby, I just want-”

“You want what?” 

“I want you.” 

“Me?” His warm breath fans across your face. When he speaks, it comes out low, deep, and methodical. He licks his lips, making them glowly and pink. The tip of his tongue dragging against your own. His red nails now digging into your skin. Pupils morphing into a deep black. Pure lust. “What do you want me to do?”

“I want you to fuck me.” 

You feel a hard smack against your ass, water splashing over the edge of the tub upon impact. You wince, knowing that tomorrow you will have a Jungkook-shaped sore spot on your bottom. You’re in for it now. The anticipation leaves you dripping. 

“I told you, not tonight,” Jungkook growls, nuzzling his head into your shoulder. “Why don’t you ever listen, huh?”

Another spank. This time even harder. It makes you grip onto his hair, knuckles paling. 

“Why can’t you be good? It’s our anniversary. I wanted to be sweet with you.” He sinks his teeth into your neck, biting down and then sucking. He spanks you again, making you hold onto the edge of the tub to stop yourself from jerking forward. “Now I have to punish you.”

“I like you like this though.” You can’t help the neediness and desperation that’s laced through your voice. 

“Of course you do,” he chuckles, sinfully licking over the mark he created. “You’re so dumb. Such a slut. I can’t even talk to you without you getting horny.” 

“That’s not true,” you whimper. 

“It’s not? Then why are you so wet?” He spreads your cheeks with both hands, middle and ring finger rubbing between your folds, collecting your wetness. He takes a few seconds to barely circle your clit. His touch is light and feathery, teasing. Fuck him and his big hands. He brings them up to your lips, tapping. “Open.”

“But they’re all soapy…”

He hums, knowing you want to be good. He’s willing to compromise. He softly smacks your cheek with an open palm, gripping your chin and moving your head side to side. “What should I do with you then? Hm?”

“I want your fingers,” you say softly, voice coming out muffled from him squeezing your cheeks together. 

“Where?” 

“Inside of me.”

“Where though?”

You huff and wrap your hand around his wrist and pull him off. Your fingers don’t even touch, tiny in comparison. This was what you wanted, practically begged for. However, it still drove you nuts whenever he made you wait, wanting you to articulate every little detail, get you soaked before he even touched you. “I want them in my pussy… your pussy.” You whimper, guiding his hand down to where you wanted him most. Pressing down, you move his fingers against your clit in tight circles. You moan at the contact. “There.”

He takes the hint, rubbing you just the way you like. Slow and sensual. You can’t help the obscene noise ripping through you. 

Jungkook’s fingers dip further down, playing with your entrance, getting them nice and wet, before sneaking in. Moaning loudly, you roll your head back. He always filled you up so good. You can’t help but clench around his fingers, afraid he’ll pull back and leave you stranded. 

He curls them, knowing exactly how to touch to have you pooling into his palm. It feels like heaven. Just when you think the gates are opening, his fingers come to a halt. 

You shoot him an exasperated look. 

“Get yourself off. I know you know how, slut.” Your eyebrows slant and you clench your jaw. He’s a demon. He flashes a crooked bunny smile your way, finding your angry face very adorable. Not intimidating in the slightest. “Go on.”

You place your hands on the sides of the tub, using it as leverage to lift your entire body up. You were going to cum, even if it meant he made you do all the work. Sinking back down, you start fucking yourself on his fingers. Snapping your hips up, before going all the way down to his tattooed knuckles. Your knees digging into the porcelain as you form a steady pace. You know they’re going to hurt afterwards, but it felt too fucking good to stop. 

“I told you the manicure was worth it,” you mumble, somehow finding the strength to sass him. It was all part of the game. He loved the fight for dominance, even though you both knew it was something you relinquished willingly. 

If asked what his favorite thing about you was, Jungkook would say your witt. He loved when you smart-mouthed him, put him in his place. You could feel his cock plumping at your words, rubbing between your cheeks with every rut of your hips. 

“Shut up.” He scoots himself further down until he’s leveled with your bouncing chest, careful not to disrupt your movements. He teases your nipple with the tip of his tongue before catching it into his mouth. 

“Fuck, I love it,” you whisper, transitioning to a grind. One of your hands cups the back of his head, holding him close. Your hips rotate, mirroring the swirling of his tongue. Your clit was rubbing against the plush skin of his palm. 

The rosy pink bath water ripples, overflowing and splashing. You didn’t care about the mess on the bathroom floor, not when the mess between your thighs was more important. 

He moans against you, sending a vibration through your sensitive, overworked, nipple. He takes the hardened bud between his teeth, tugging gently and then moving onto the other. 

He starts curling his clean cut fingers with every drag of your leaking cunt, stroking your g-spot expertly, giving you more stimulation. Overstimulating you. “Please, Koo…”

“Already?” 

You nod frantically. All the years spent above you, behind you, and below you made him well aware of your signs. He knew you were close. “I want you to cum. Fuck, you’re so wet,” he sighs, just as desperate as you, turned on by your pleasure. Lips still wrapped around your nipple. It makes your clit throb. 

He abruptly starts thrusting his fingers into you. Your hips still as you lean your entire weight on him, bracing yourself as you reach the point of no return. He makes you cry for the second time when your orgasm hits, leaving you gasping into his ear. Your thighs tremble uncontrollably. His fingers slow, curling deliciously until he milks out every bit of your orgasm. 

You turn onto your side and bury your head into his shoulder as you come down from your high. He leans his cheek against your forehead, rubbing small circles against your lower back. Completely ignoring the flushed, angry cock resting against his lower stomach. Your sweet boy. So sweet that you just couldn’t get enough. 

His rough persona was already starting to fade. Not on your watch. 

You look down, eyeing his pretty pink tip through the bubbles. Pinker than the water. He has the prettiest dick you’ve ever seen. It makes you salivate.

You trail your manicured nails down his chest, circling his nipple, running over his solid abdomen, and down to his cock. You rub your index finger against the slit and then stroke his head with your fingertip. “I know you’re tired but… I want more. Wanna lick it.”

He huffs out a laugh and then pecks on the top of your head. He wonders how you could be so cute, yet so naughty and dirty? You feel a tap against your ass, signaling for you to get off of him. 

You wide-eye him when he stands. Droplets of water were running down his body. One gets caught in the dip of his v-line, trickling until it becomes lost in the dark patch of trimmed hair above his shaft. His thick, toned legs flexing as he steps out of the tub. You’re convinced that no matter how much time passes, you’ll still find him breathtaking. 

He mumbles a little ‘be careful’ when he helps you up, watching your feet to make sure they don’t slip. Always looking out for you in small ways. It was a subconscious trait he developed as he grew to love you more than anything or anyone. He tugs you close, looking at you with so much love in his eyes. You crane your neck up, pressing your lips against his. Nothing crazy or sloppy, just a kiss. Kissing Jungkook felt like it always did, warm and comfortable. 

“Alright, knees. Now.”

Asshole.

Interrupting your thoughts, yet again. You frown and look at the tile. The wet tile might you add. “But my knees-”

He grabs your hair, wrapping it around his fist and using it to force you down to your knees. The floor feels gross and cold against your shins.

“You do what I tell you, got it?” From your angle, he looks menacing. He’s peering down at you over that big nose, chest puffed out and red from exertion. The veins in his arm popping out under his inked skin as he held you with an iron grip. You have half a mind to cancel his gym membership.

His big, leaking, cock is standing right in front of you. It was almost intimidating.

You answer him with the most miniscule nod. 

“Use your words.”

“I’ll listen.”

“Look at me when you talk to me.” He doesn't even give you the chance to react, yanking your hair until your face is tilted upwards.

“I’ll listen,” you peep. 

“I go away for a week and you forget everything I taught you? Do I have to train you all over again?” He questions, mocking you.

“Yes, please. I don’t seem to remember,” you challenge, blinking up at him innocently, but so deviously.

“Open,” he commands. You listen, opening wide and sticking your tongue out. He bends at the waist, letting a glob of spit fall from his puckered lips and into your mouth. You swallow immediately, knowing what to do. Obviously well informed of the rules despite your protests.

“Good girl.” Releasing your hair, he brings his fingers to your lips, recalling your refusal to put them in your mouth earlier. “Again.” 

He’s just as devious as you are.

You flick your hair over your shoulders dramatically, hoping he’ll pick up on your annoyance. Squinting in defiance, you take his middle and index finger in your mouth, going all the way down to his knuckles, biting a little. You slide your tongue between them, letting them hit the back of your throat before pulling away. They do taste a bit soapy, but you suppose a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.

He shoves them back in before you move away entirely, making you choke. “I don’t think you’re ready for me. Gotta stretch you out first, don’t I baby?” He scissors his fingers, testing your gag reflex. Taunting you. You inhale and pinch your eyes shut, wanting to prove him wrong. You even bob your head a little, taking them in deeper. He lets out a shaky breath, clearly affected by your actions, exiting your drooling mouth. 

Nimble fingers wrap around his cock, using your spit to slick himself up. He squeezes right under the crown. Both of you watch in awe as a drop of precum oozes out. He shuffles closer to you, jaw going slack as he peers down at you. It looks like he’s contemplating something. Whatever it was, he better get going because if you have to wait even lo-

You gasp as his cock swings into your cheek with a loud thud. The heaviness makes you flinch. He pauses, expecting you to reprimand him. He did just smack you with his dick. To his surprise, you don’t say anything. In fact, you appear to be even more turned on than before, fluttering your lashes at him. Asking for more.

He makes a content noise, continuing to tap the tip against your face, watching as a sticky string of precum forms. “God, you’re so whipped baby. Why do you let me treat you like this?”

It was a rhetorical question, but you answer anyway. “Because I love you.”

“You love me?” He smiles, rigid expression softening for a second, pleased with your answer. “You love my dick. It’s all you think about. I bet when I was away you all you did was sit in bed with a wet pussy. Waiting for me to come home and fuck you.” 

You can’t help but wonder if that was a freudian slip. If he was still beating himself up for missing out on your graduation, mentioning it with no context or explanation. It makes your heart hurt, but that was a conversation for tomorrow morning. Tonight, you were going to do whatever you could to distract him.

Wetness touches your bottom lip. He rubs the head of his penis against you, smearing precum on your lips. He coos, mocking your compliance and submission. Sexually humiliating you is one of his favorite activities. You let him, even puckering your lips to sneak in a few kisses here and there. The light touches make him groan. “You gonna let me fuck that mouth, sweetheart?”

“Hm... I dunno.”

“What do you mean you don’t know?”

No answer.

“Are you going to put it in your mouth or what?” He scoffs, gnawing on his bottom lip. His right brow twitches. His forehead pulls in a bit. The irritated flicks in features already visible. 

You shrug nonchalantly. Internally, you were jumping for joy. He’s so fucking easy to manipulate. Right in the palm of your hand like putty, moldable into any shape you want. Any version of him you desire. 

His cock is angry too. Bright red and dripping. Needing to be touched. Craving you. Your mouth. Your pussy.

It jumps when you wrap your hand around it. So touch starved. Your pace is devastatingly lethargic, grip loose, not firm the way you know he loves and wants. His foreskin moves with you, rolling back and forth over his begging tip. So needy and wet. You wondered if the people next door could hear the nasty gushy noises his cock made as you jerked it.

You lean forward and lap at his slit. Airy kitten licks that provide barely any sensation to his greedy cock. One after the other. You feel his stare burning into your skin. He’s watching you, nostrils flaring as he grows impatient and agitated. You arch your back, giving him a clear view of your perky ass, before you start shaking and bouncing it. Teasing him.

“Enough, __!” He seethes, fisting your hair and bucking his hips with so much vigor that he stumbles forward. His cock shoves past your lips and down your throat. He catches himself by slamming a hand against the wall-mounted mirror in front of him, leaving a small crack in the middle. The neighbors definitely heard that one, but you were too far gone to care. 

The jolt sends you falling back on your butt, landing on the fluffy area rug in front of the sink. Atleast you were comfortable now. You always win one way or another.

Your legs are now laying flat between his, knees knocked together. Trapped between Jungkook and the sleek black wood of the integrated sink behind you. You're pressed against his pelvis, the soft hairs at the base of his cock tickling your nostrils.

Initially, you gag around him. Spit bubbling at the corners of your mouth, dripping down your chin after a few dauntingly long seconds. Your chest heaves as you struggle to adjust to the sudden intrusion. There’s a natural urge to push him away. Your matching red nails digging into his thighs as you try to shove him off of you.

“You’re okay.” He doesn’t let up. Feet firmly planted on either side of you. “Breathe. You can take it.”

With tears streaming down your cheeks, you inhale and exhale through your nose, regaining your composure. Determined to be good for him. 

When he touches you, it’s delicate and gentle, pushing your damp hair back. Fingers working their way through a few tangles. He cups your cheek, brushing away your stray tears. “I’m gonna fuck your mouth now, okay?”

You nod, making the tip of his cock rub against the back of your throat. Your mouth is warm and moist, like a sauna that’s sole purpose was to make him nut. The sensation makes him grunt. He brings his opposite hand down, holding your head still before taking a shallow thrust. Only giving you half of his length and then pulling back. Testing the waters. 

Glancing up at him with watery eyes, you meet him halfway, hollowing your cheeks. Your throat feels raw but his cock tastes phenomenal. Clean and sugary. Not a day goes by where you don’t thank the stars for blessing you with a man who eats fairly healthy and follows a strict hygiene regimen. 

Your nose is running a little. Jungkook notices before you do. His shoulders rise up with laughter, wiping it away with his big thumb. “So gross, baby. So cute.” It was gross, but you weren’t embarrassed, not with him.

Your jaw goes slack as you accept more of his cock, relaxing into the feeling. He picks up the pace, basking in view of his glossy cock dragging against your lips. You’re a vision. So beautiful to him. The disgusting wet noises your throat makes when he pulls away are deafening. He loves the way you gag when he pushes back in.

Jungkook has always been a bit quiet during sex, minus the dirty talk, of course. Never one to make obnoxious, pornographic sounds. He left that to you. You didn’t mind though. You can’t help but hum around him, loud and vulgar, when you hear his low grunts, knowing you’ve earned them. 

Your hands rub at his smooth, hairless thighs, feeling the muscles underneath clench and unclench, pulling his skin taut. He made the impromptu decision to get them waxed while his nails were drying under the UV light. ‘For shoots and stuff… It’s in nowadays’ he had snapped at you when you questioned his choice. Your palms make their way behind him, gripping his ass and pulling, wanting more of his cock.

“Mhm, it’s yours, baby. Take it.” He licks his lips and nods, looking at you with hooded lustful eyes, flicking his hair away so he can watch. “Tight little mouth…”

His voice sounded fucked out, so turned on. His head rolls off to the side like he doesn’t have the strength to support it anymore. All of the energy being sucked out of him, literally and figuratively. 

His hand cups the back of your head, thrusting every inch of his cock into your mouth. Holding you in place. His nose scrunches up and his brows knit together, cute dimple poking out as he bites the inside of his cheek. You hum, swaying your head from side to side. 

“Stop, m’ gonna cum,” he groans, attempting to pull you off. You’re persistent though, clinging onto him, keeping him snug inside of you.

“Ah, no- stop,” he whimpers in a high pitched voice you’ve never heard before. It was so desperate it made you clench around nothing. You feel him twitch in your mouth, hips jerking away like the pleasure is too much. He’s so deep that he can feel your tongue flat against his balls, licking and drooling down them. 

You pull off with a pop when you decide he’s had enough. 

“Fuck you,” he says through a laugh. He reaches his hands up, running them over his face to calm himself down. “You were going to make me cum before we even fucked.”

There’s a translucent strand of spit connecting his penis to your mouth. You swallow, wiping your chin with the back of your hand. A fit of coughs erupt through your chest. Booming and rough, before fading into a string of mischievous giggles. You feel delirious and light headed. He mumbles something about how well you took him, about how you were so good. You don’t really know. You can’t really focus at the moment.

You press your cheek against Jungkook’s leg, beaming up at him. So infatuated with him. So in love. High off endorphins and serotonin. 

“Stop laughing!” He shouts playfully, guiding you to your feet and pressing you against the marble countertop. He kisses your cheek before burrowing his head into your shoulder. “You’re fucking bonkers, babe.”

“Me? You fully broke the mirror!” 

“Huh?”

You twist in his arms, giggling madly as you crane your neck awkwardly to look at the mirror behind you. “It’s right…,” you look around, trying to scope out the crack, pressing your fingertip to it when you find it, “here!” There’s already tiny fragments missing, exposing the wooden frame underneath. You leave a smudge on the dewy glass when you pull away. 

He deadpans you, jaw dropping open like he’s just received tragic and unexpected news. The modeling definitely upped his acting capabilities, making him animated and theatrical over the most mundane things. You guess it’s somewhat justified in this situation.

Black irises flicker to you, then the mirror, then back to you. His hand clamps over his open mouth. “What the fuck, __?”

“Don’t blame me! You were the one that broke it.” You shout back, very amused by his reaction.

“Yeah, but you should’ve at least said something,” he states like it’s the most obvious and certain thing in the world. His arms are outstretched, palms facing you, looking at you like you’re missing brain cells for not comprehending his thought process. One hand drops against his side in disbelief. The other wraps around his dick, giving it a languid pump. 

You roll your eyes. He’s such a boy.

“It’s not even that big of a deal,” you mumble, tucking a loose piece of hair behind his ear. He can’t stand having his hair in his face, constantly stealing your hair ties and losing them on sets, at the gym, and basically where else he goes. The wispy ones at his hairline are sticking to his clammy skin. “What are they gonna do, arrest us?” Now it’s your turn to question his logic, exaggerating your words and moving your neck around like a bobble head.

“No… but we’re going to have to pay for it.”

“Oh, whatever. I’ll pay.”

“Shut up, no you won’t,” he says sternly, twirling his index finger in a circle. “Turn around before I lose my boner.” 

You do as he says, turning around to face the mirror. It’s so blurry that all you can see in it is two silhouettes amongst the condensation. Good. It saves you the embarrassment of looking at yourself. You know you look crazy and disheveled. You can already picture it in your head. Hair tangled, lips swollen, tear stained cheeks, lashes clumped together.

You bend over the counter, upper body pressing into the marble slab. It’s cool and smooth, a stark contrast to the hot, stuffy atmosphere of the bathroom. It sends a piercing shock down your spine when your nipples touch the surface. You turn your head to the side, cheeks squished.

Perking your ass up, you wait patiently for his cock. Your glistening folds are on full display for him, so enticing and sweet. He spreads your ass with both hands, catching a glimpse of your puckering hole. You’re messy there too, arousal from your pussy having trickled down throughout the night. You looked so appetizing. He’s spent countless hours of his life buried in your pussy, lapping up your juices, breathing you in with his nose smushed into your clit. Jungkook would die a happy man knowing he got to experience the taste of you. 

“Kook, please hur-,” your words are cut short by a loud cry when you feel his mouth on you instead. Wet muscle tickling your clit before dragging through your entrance. It’s like he’s making out with your pussy, flat tongue dipping into you. His plump lips close after each lick, creating these soft smacking noises that send you into overdrive. 

His tongue trails up, circling around your other hole. You squeal.

“I can’t take so much- I can’t ta- just fuck me already,” you cry out. You reach your hand back, searching to ground yourself, wanting to touch him. He intertwines your fingers with his, snickering as he gets back up. A sloppy, open-mouthed kiss is placed on your shoulder. They make a warm stream from the back of your neck to your tailbone. He takes his time, pressing kisses on every part of your skin. The tender moment makes you dizzy. 

“I’m sorry baby, you just- I’m so fucked up right now.”  He felt jittery and sensitive. Needing you as much as you needed him. “I’ll do anything you want- anything for you.”

You grind your hips back, needy for his cock. “I want you inside me. Fill me up.”

The sound of your voice has him weak. He didn’t need any more convincing, letting go of your hand and bending at the knees to align himself with your aching core. He spits on his cock, spreading it around your hungry core with the head. It wasn’t necessary, but a little extra lubrication never hurt anyone. 

He grabs your ass, pulling a cheek aside, wanting to see everything. A front row seat to his favorite show. He knows he’s going to just slide right in with how drenched you were. 

He stuffs himself in, catching you off guard with the lack of preparation, giving you his entire length on the first push. The arch of your back sucked his cock in so deep that you felt it in your stomach. You felt so full, so stretched. Like he was made to be inside of you. Your mouth opens wide with a silent scream, clawing at the countertop, needing to cling onto something. Anything. Your fingertips hurt as they press into the marble. 

Jungkook’s eyes are locked on the way your pussy just engulfs his cock. It tries to suck him back in when he pulls away, like it doesn’t want him to leave. Like it’s your life force. If he withdraws, your body will surely wither away into a pile of little pink sparkles. 

“Can you just-” he grunts, wrapping his colorful arm under your hips and lifting, making your parted thighs come together. “Yeah, like that… so tight like this.”

“Mhm, feels so good like this Koo,” you purr in agreement. The fit is more snug than before. You can feel every ridge of his shaft against your walls. Every vein. It makes your toes curl into the soft shag carpet beneath you. 

Chills rush through your limbs when he starts to snap his hips into you. There’s intent behind his thrusts. Pulling all the way back, leaving only the very tip of his cock inside of you. Watching as your cunt clenchs around it. Loving how your arousal turns milky, leaving his dick so wet and creamy. Then, he plunges all the way in. You let out little ‘mmm’ noises when his hips meet yours, breasts jiggling wildly underneath you. 

“I’m not gonna last much longer,” Jungkook says through gritted teeth. He slows down for a moment, smushing his pelvis flush against your ass and swiveling his hips in a circle. It’s obvious that he’s trying not to cum. 

“Me either, it’s okay,” you tell him, placing your palms flat and pushing your body up. Determined to get him off, you start throwing your ass back, using all your might to work his cock in and out of you. Skin slapping against skin. 

“Don’t.” He places one palm on your hip, halting your movements. The other goes to your shoulder, pushing you back down. “Lift your leg up,” he orders, pointing to the ledge of the sink, showing you exactly what he wants you to do. 

This was something he did often. Whenever you two had sex, Jungkook put you in all kinds of bendy positions. He loved folding you like a pretzel while he fucked you. In his words, putting you in simple, uncomplicated positions was ‘wasted potential.’ He was hell-bent on putting your flexibility to good use. 

Picking your knee up and placing it on the sink makes his cock slip out. You hear a hushed ‘fuck’ escape his lips. He’s quick to guide himself back to your drippy center. He’s so deep you feel like you’re going to vomit. Your eyes roll back, squeezing shut when you feel tears prick at the outer corners. You’ve cried way too much in the past hour… 

“Stay still, let me take care of you.” You couldn’t tell if your mind was playing tricks on you. If you’re being honest, his dick usually left you dazed and confused. But his voice sounded broken. Almost like he was on the verge of falling apart.

Without warning, he rests his entire weight on you, smashing his chest to your back. The stretch was uncomfortable, but the warmth radiating off of him was overpowering. 

“I want to make you feel good,” he fucking whimpers as his hand snakes between your bodies. He uses his ring and index finger to spread you open, middle finger massaging your clit. He nudges your head to the side, making room for him to nuzzle into your neck. “I want to be good for you- to you. I don’t want to miss anymore, please- don’t leave me. I’m so sorry.” 

He’s plowing into you with so much force, trying to emphasize what he means. You know what he means. What was that myth again? Something about being able to feel your soulmate's pain?

You never thought it was possible to feel devastation and euphoria simultaneously, but that’s exactly how you feel at the moment.

You need to see him. You reach your trembling hand to the mirror. The fog melts under your touch. You wipe your hand back and forth until he’s visible. Even streaky and distorted, he's still absolutely gorgeous. “Jungkook, look at me.”

He lifts his head, peeking through blonde curtains to meet your eyes in the reflection. They’re dark and glassy. You see nothing but raw emotion swimming in them. Pure love. His cheeks are tinged red. 

“Don’t cry, baby,” you sigh, ignoring your own words as wetness finally spills over your waterline. Crying because he’s touching you just right, bringing you closer and closer to climax, but also because you love him. So fucking much. 

The pit in your stomach keeps growing. Your orgasm is approaching rapidly. You shake and convulse under him. You’ve never felt so good.

“I love you,” he groans, confession sounding heavenly in your ears as his thrusts become sloppy and hopeless. “I’m gonna cum.”

“Me too.” You turn your head, nose knocking into his as you tangle your fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck. “Kiss me, kiss me, I love you so much,” you plead, voice cracking. 

He does. Lips crashing into yours, meshing together perfectly. Tongues twisting together, still tasting like one another. You sob into his mouth, tugging on his thick strands as your orgasm hits you full force. Pleasure is felt in every inch of your body, from your toes to the very tip top of your scalp. 

Jungkook cums with you. Cute face scrunching up as he paints your walls in hot white. He gives you everything, thrusting into you until he’s completely empty. Cumming so much that it overflows around his cock and spills down your thigh. 

A sequence of serendipitous events that leave you warm and comfortable.

Both of you are sticky with cum, sweat, tears, spit, and probably every other bodily fluid that exists. You should clean up, but neither of you make an effort to move. Too exhausted. Too peaceful. 

Closing your eyes, you relish in the feeling of his chest expanding and contracting. Instead of listening to the ticks of the clock on your right, you listen to his breathing. It’s rough and sporadic at first, but as the minutes pass by, it becomes calm and even. You can feel his heartbeat against your back. You’re surrounded by him. 

Light touches trail over your shoulders and down your arms until they reach your palms. He laces his fingers with yours, rubbing his thumb against the back of your hand. Bringing the left one to his mouth, he places exactly four kisses against it. The last kiss is longer and more meaningful than the rest. You smile to yourself. Four years ago, you would’ve never imagined that your relationship with Jungkook would look like this. Loving, happy, and healthy. 

He turns your hand over, placing it against his cheek. Your sweet boy. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” You ask him, voice hoarse. You feel him shake his head. You hum, needing to say one more thing before you drop the issue. “I just want you to know that I love you. You have no reason to feel guilty. I’d rather have you with me mentally and emotionally than physically, you know?”

He nods, placing a wet peck to your temple this time. 

“Alright, get out of me. Your dick is limp and you’re sweaty.”

He lets out an airy laugh, mouth still pressed against your skin. Your grimace when he pulls out of you, cum already oozing out. Yuck. 

It was alright though. You couldn’t think of a better way to end your anniversary than taking a hot shower with him. You lift yourself off the counter, bones cracking. Legs aching. Worn out and exhausted. You were excited to slip under the crisp white sheets with him, fall asleep with your head on his chest. The perfect pillow. That sounded wonderful. 

Your shower was interrupted by a loud banging at the door. Jungkook looked at you confused and wide eyed, hoping out with impeccable speed as he scrambled to put a robe on. You groan, who the fuck would show up to your hotel room at 11:17 p.m.?

Hotel security. That’s who. 

There had been a total of eight noise complaints. All coming from the same floor. 

They weren’t too happy about the mirror either.

Needless to say, you and Jungkook spent the remainder of your anniversary in a shitty motel. 

© chryblossomjjk 2022 [do not copy, translate or repost]