Y E S

Y E S

rdj kissing josh brolin on the lips is such a power move. the man doesn’t give a single fuck. he’s the male protagonist archetype of this century but he will kiss as many guys as he pleases because he can and there’s nothing hollywood can do about it

…

And then I find out the fanfic hasn’t updated for over a year.

IronDad Bingo Fic #6

Trope: Bullying

Trigger Warning!!! Lots of self hate. Small mention of suicide and self harm.

Requested by anon. Thank you for the request!

The tabloids have always been known for their blatant hatred for the mess of a human being named Tony Stark. Of course, there were those select few reporters and articles that highlighted his few wholesome qualities, but people weren’t quite as drawn towards opinions not laced with drama and hostility.

The first truly demeaning article published about him that he could actually recall was when he was about 14 years old, attending a special gala with his parents during his Christmas break. His father had been giving a speech, and, yeah, Tony had snuck a couple drinks over the course of the evening, but this guy started choking on an olive in the middle of his father’s spiel and he didn’t even have any time to think before he was jumping into action. What was he supposed to do? Ignore the poor man? But in his drunken haze and fervent panic, he couldn’t quite remember the typical operating procedure to perform for a choking person, so he acted on instinct and reeled back his fist to send a punch straight into the man’s gut. It worked though, and the olive went sailing across the room, but the idiot demanded to press charges after he caught his breath and realized he was a Stark. And, of course, since no one else had witnessed the event in its entirety, young Tony had been labeled as a hostile, drunk, know-it-all without an ounce of human decency at the age of 14, and that title followed him all through his teenage years and into adulthood. The choking man had been set on getting his money and he wasn’t at all put out by the fact that it would require tearing down a somewhat innocent boy in the process.

His father had been pissed, even after Tony had finished explaining his side of the story. The press had been having an absolute field day with the abomination of a human being that turned out of Howard Stark’s son and Howard was beyond livid… and his mother, well… she had been disappointed. She didn’t speak a word to her son for nearly three days after the event. How could Tony blame them though? He had never done anything particularly noble, and he wasn’t known to be a truth-teller, but he had just wanted to help. He supposed that was what happened when you tried to help a person, so he didn’t go out of his way to try it out again.

After that, trouble just seemed to follow him. The press disregarded his accomplishments and highlighted the many many mistakes that only seemed to worsen the older he became. You couldn’t really blame the people either, because the mischief Tony Stark got up to was pure reporting gold. It granted them thousands, if not millions, of extra readers every time he didn’t something particularly stupid. The non-scientific community weren’t quite as interested in his inborn genius, and his amazing creations, lectures he gave, and ideas he had. People had always, and would always, be drawn to drama. And Tony Stark was the absolute Drama King.

Keep reading

KEEPING UP WITH THE AVENGERS

Tony: *makes a small, irrelevant mistake*

His brain: YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU-

Tony: *makes a huge mistake that will directly affect his future horribly*

His brain: ... Acknowledged.

Peter, v-logging with his phone camera: Hi I’m Spi- I mean, Peter Parker, and today we’re going to witness firsthand people’s reactions after they’re told they have big dick energy. Let’s go!

Peter: What’s up, Thor. Dude, I just wanted you to know that you radiate big dick energy today.

Thor: God of thunder in the streets, god of big dick in the sheets, I suppose.

Peter, checking to see if he’s still recording then proceeding to give a thumbs up: I stan so hard. Legends only.

Peter, bumping into Steve reading the paper: Cap! Ah, have a moment? Word on the street is that you have big dick energy. Thoughts?

Steve, choking on his coffee: I-I guess the serum did have… its effects…

Peter: Oh my god.

Peter, finding Bucky watering flowers: Hey, man. Love what you did with your hair today, may I enlighten you on the fact that you have, putting it modestly, very big dick energy?

Bucky, looking into the camera like he’s on the office: …Parker what the hell.

Peter, breaking into the sanctum: Wow doctor, looks like you got a super serious case of chronic big dick energy there.

Strange: Listen. There’s kinetic, potential, thermal, chemical, electrical, even the vague concept of dark energy. But there is no big dick or whatever you just—

Peter: You’re no fun.

Peter, after buying a plane ticket and flying to Wakanda unsupervised: As king and black panther, your highness, your reign is supreme and so is your big dick energy.

T'challa, amidst a breakdown: Noo!!! Stop!! You and Shuri, I am begging you, please, I have no idea what that means!!!!

Peter, approaching Tony relaxing on a lounge chair: Now for The Man. The one and only, genius billionaire playboy philanthropist. Mr. Stark, are you aware you have big dick energy?

Tony, lowering his shades: Kid, I invented big dick energy.

Peter, tearing up: I know.