This Made Me Laugh Out Loud In The Middle Of The Class.

This made me laugh out loud in the middle of the class.

In another universe kainess are just king julien and mort.

I love him ☹️

OMG! (olympic muffin greed)

michael kaiser / reader

established relationship, (affectionate) slut shaming as a joke towards michael, michael is down bad

you: <link attached>

you: film and post a mukbang

you: tw emotional

micha!!: ????

micha!!: it's just an ordinary chocolate muffin what

you: bro do you not see the swimmer guy tweaking out over these damn muffins they gotta be good

you: i need you to try them and report back to me

You see Michael's chat bubble alternate between typing and pausing at the bottom of your phone screen. Right as you're about to call him out on his indecisive buffoonery, you get a FaceTime banner and immediately pick up with pure, non-devious intentions.

Michael's face pops up on the screen, a white towel resting on his bare shoulders as wet, messy hair frames his face. Strands of blue and blond get pushed away as Michael drags his hand through his hair.

"Almost two years of dating and I'm still being called 'bro'."

"Hi Micha! Don't complain and don't contact me until you try the Olympic Chocolate Muffins ©"

Michael groans your name in annoyance, barely covering a laugh to your persistence. He sits on his bed and throws a shirt over his head before responding. "You're saying that as if you're not the one that's going to be spam texting me five minutes after we hang up."

"The only reason why you aren't as clingy is because you're a slut and spending all your time on your side pieces."

"A what?! You need to stop calling me that. Just because I'm hot doesn't mean I'm cheating on you. If I was, I would be inviting you to join."

"I'm so desperate, you don't even understand." You groan in frustration, imagining the ooey chocolate chunks melting into freshly baked muffin batter being abandoned by your boyfriend, the pastries crying out for the slightest bit of attention from the number one sexiest soccer player ever (scientifically proven). "I'm so bored without my super amazing cool awesome hot athletic hunk whore of a boyfriend, I miss you and therefore I need you to humor me a little."

"Don't say I don't love you after this."

"Micha what are you going—"

you: michael

you: michael what are you up to

you: michael pls don't kill the entire village

you: hello why did u hang up

you: 2 minutes no michael kaiser i can't hear out of my eyes anymore my blood oxygen levels are rapidly declining i can't do this anymore

micha!!: <image attached>

micha!!: how many do you want me to bring home

you: MICHAEL WHAT THE FUCK HOW DID YOU SWIPE SO MANY IN 3 MINS

you: BRING ALL OF THEM BUT 20 MUFFINS IN YOUR BAG???

micha!!: you wanted them and who am i to deny my kaiser-deprived partner of their wishes

micha!!: and i'm agreeing to your mukbang idea as long as you do it with me

micha!!: going through that by myself is humiliating and i have an image to maintain but you'll make it slightly more entertaining

you: omg this is so romantic

you: i love you <3333

micha!!: i love you too

micha!!: see you soon :)

Can you do 🐙💍💐🍺 with Inumaki? 🎀🎀

here u go !! my handwriting is actually much better btw.

yes this is a confession — toge inumaki x gn!reader

wc <1000 || event

cws: swearing, one mention of death threats, gn reader

arranged marriage is not something you particularly adore. thankfully, you're able to pull things around enough for your husband to be your friend, toge inumaki.

he's a bit of a freak but at least he's nice and not like the weird guys from other clans..

totally the type to buy you flowers "for his beautiful spouse xx"

if you remind him it's an arranged marriage he'll be like, so?? it's for show, dude. (it isn't)

after the wedding he goes to yuta's and ugly cries cause you look so perfect and he's literally in love with you

he leaves colourful sticky notes around the house with cute messages; "what a nice friend!" you think at first

it feels weird to actually fall for him after the two of you get married

you being as oblivious you are, feel extremely guilty for this "one-sided" thing

you start regarding him completely differently

has he always looked this good in everything

he lets you borrow all his clothes — whatever you want, it's yours from the moment you lay your eyes on it

"if we're a married couple, might as well let you have the perks too."

text to speech is a godsend

one night the two of you are lying in bed (with an awkward amount of space between the two of you) when you're overcome with an unusually high amount of guilt. you roll over onto your side to look at him. he's still awake, staring outside at the stars. before you can say anything, he types something out on his phone — really fast — and gives it to you. the bright light hurts your eyes, and you have to squint to read the words.

shootimg star mkae a wisj

your eyes trace the stars path as you murmur a wish, propping yourself up on one elbow to get a better look. inumaki looks detached, distant as he — you assume — makes his wish, too.

"what did you wish for," says the monotonous voice of the text to speech app.

"i can't tell you," you reply. "my wish won't come true that way."

he shakes his head obstinately.

"it's just us here, so it's fine," says text to speech.

"i wished for you to get your happily ever after," you confess finally. "i took away any hope you had of a proper relationship, and—"

"shut the fuck up," the monotone voice tells you, and toge is scrambling up to switch the lamp on and scribble something on one of the post-its from the pile that you consistently keep refilling every day. he shoves it unceremoniously into your hands, and it takes all of thirty seconds for the words to register in your brain.

"what the fuck, are you serious right now?"

he grins awkwardly at your reaction, not knowing if it's a positive response or not, but then a moment later, it all becomes clear.

timeskip :3

tysm for reading n following !

love,

hyena

FRRR I KEEP ON SEEING NSFW ONES EVEN THO HE'S A MINOR 😭😭 I JUST WANT FLUFF OR ANGST

I usually don't post about jujutsu kaisen here but OMG I need to get this out of mt chest

I NEED MORE INUMAKI STUFF!!! And I'm not talking about smaus (even tho they're very good), I'm talking about fics and maybe even smau SERIES!! My boy needs more content smh 😔

Feel free to send me any Inumaki fics that you enjoy!! And if you're writer, tag me when you do write one. Thank you 🙏

KAISER'S PROFILE IS OUT. I REPEAT KAISER'S PROFILE IS OUTTT!!!!!

Stray dogs ☹️. He hates presents. He was born on christmas and yet never got to celebrate neither his birthday or xmas. I'm gonna cry.

Okay, this is something serious now.

As some of you already know, some people are accusing me of plagiarism. And I just want to explain my side of the story first

A while ago, I was scrolling through tiktok and found one of those videos with a minecraft parkour happening in the background and a reddit story being read. I'm a portuguese speaker, so the story I listened to was in portuguese (i don't even have reddit lol). So, I thought "Oh, what a cute story!! I wonder how would it happen if it was with some anime boys!!". So, I started to write it while also trying to translate it AND change the phrases.

Since it was from tik tok, I couldn't really see the user that wrote the og post. I now realize I should've tried harder to find it, and for that I apologize. I'm sorry I didn't put the IB on the post, but someone on the comments told me fhe user of who wrote it first, and after posting this "apologie" I'll put it in the post immediatly.

I also want to clarify what verbatim is, since some people are saying that's the plagiarism I comitted. According to the Oxford dictionary, verbatim is:

1. (Adverb)

in exactly the same words; literally, ipsis litteris.

2. (Adjective)

that corresponds word for word to the source or original text.

"minutes v. of a meeting of condominium owners"

And even though I copied the first phrase, the rest of the text is totally different!! I also had no way of knowing I was writing the same first phrase, since as I said before, it was actually from a portuguese post, so I translated it the best I could.

The idea is the same, though, so I should've tried harder to find the IB. Once again, I apologize for this. I'm sorry about what I did and I hope you guys can forgive me and not view me in a different way from how you saw me before!! I just thought it would be fun to write something, and it was the first fic I wrote after going back to writing (I used to write things during March-April, but I stopped). I swear I have no intetions to steal anybody's work to make myself famous or anything like that.

Once again, I'll try to make things right! Dw, a situation like this won't happen again. Thank you for reading this, and once again, I'm deeply sorry.

I'm putting the xreader tags so this can reach as many people as possible