Nicole W. Lee, From "Even The Dust"

Nicole W. Lee, from "Even the Dust"

🌹 for those who have ever doubted that Luke Eisner makes a wonderful Tamlin 🌹

Tamlin turned, visibly working to soften his expression before he spoke. He didn’t hate his title. He didn’t hate the long hours or the sacrifices he’d made. He certainly loved his people. Yet, over the last several years he had realized that he could not carry the entire kingdom on his own two shoulders. Being alone was his time of sanctuary. Having Briar see him without the stone walls which so carefully guarded his heart from the public was uncomfortable — almost unbearable. 

Yet, he struggled to move away when her soft hand rested on his arm. It wasn’t much, a simple request for attention, but it reminded him once again of just how much it ached to be alone. 

He still had Lucien, but Lucien was a mated male now and a married one. Although his fox was continually loyal and still often there on the occasion that his panic overwhelmed his sobriety, Tamlin knew that things would never be the same. 

He had Feyre, on the edge of his defenses, sitting just beyond the portcullis of his heart. There were many long, lonely nights where he nearly ended up back at her door before his common sense stepped over his bleeding heart. That would never be the same ever.

Spring would never be the same.

He would never be the same.

For the briefest of moments, his small joys of a child’s laughter and the great outdoors had been witnessed by a stranger and it hurt. 

Tamlin swallowed and stepped back, noticing, that she still had his cloak. He didn’t have the heart to ask for it back. Especially, when he could conjure another on a moment’s notice. 

“What you saw,” He said slowly. “In the garden…was not meant for your eyes. It was meant for no one but myself and that little boy.”

He spoke in a measured, tenor beat. “I have never been one formalities. I do not mind you calling me by my name. That is…its purpose. However, I cannot abide with any form of yelling as a form of communication.”

Tamlin sighed and looked up, honestly meeting her eyes, as himself, for the first time. “Please believe me that I understand your passion and I feel it. I have gone to the end of the earth for the fem— people I have loved. That little boy you saw being one of many.” 

He ran his fingers through his blonde hair. “I have a plan for Caiden, but it is not something I can accomplish alone, or overnight. Given the late hour of the day, I need to speak to my sentries and my emissary before anything happens further.”

“Will you meet me tomorrow?” He asked, eyebrows piquing upward. He was not just Tamlin. He was not just the High Lord of Spring. He was both. There were parts of him kept hidden away. He only hoped she was willing to listen. “After court. Before noon.”

Stone Walls & Sacrifice | Tamlin & Briar @springcourthighlady

Tamlin was more than ready to leave by the time he finished listening to Briar’s rant. He let her finish — he wasn’t that impolite. His brisk footsteps echoed across the marble flooring and he looked over his shoulder, hoping that he was not followed. 

Yet, he was not that lucky. The prospects of desert with Lucien and Elain were slipping further away by the minute. Tamlin stilled when she called his name, pressing his lips into a thin line. Why won’t she go home? This is life, in Spring, right now. We’re all worried. We’re all frustrated. We all have family in need of aid. No one gets special privileges. Not even me — 

He didn’t even have privacy anymore, or space to think. Though, when he glanced over his shoulder, he was relieved to find some regret in her eyes. 

Only his friends called him by his first name. He wasn’t big on enforcing rank, but found it odd how casually she addressed him. 

He pressed his tongue into the edge of his teeth, forbidding the quick retort which danced on the edge of his lips. I will not lose it. I cannot. They cannot see me as a beast. 

He turned, stuffing his hands deeply into the pockets of his jacket, to hide how they’d tensed into fists. Running from his problems wasn’t effective, but neither was forcing himself into a corner until he lost his temper. 

Tamlin saw her hand reach for him. He wanted to back away. It had been over two years since a woman had touched him, apart from Calanmai. He flinched, but did not move. He wasn’t sure he could. 

She cares for me? I have met this female once. 

Tamlin swallowed, gravely still. “I understand your attachment, Lady Briar. Yet, if you cannot trust me as High Lord of Spring, no plan I create to bring Caiden home will be enough for you.”

He stepped away, lowering his green eyes to the ground. “If you’ll excuse me, it has been a long day.” 

“How long they choose to love you will never be your decision.”

— Drake; Thank Me Now

Random thoughts of a: Day off Tamlin!

Day off Tamlin! Who likes to follow you around, hidden, as you pick flowers until you notice that he's not occupied with work

Day off Tamlin! Who flits around your ear disguised as a bumblebee, and when you scream and swat at him he shifts back into your tam, doubled over, laughing because he lives for teasing and taunting you sometimes

Day off Tamlin! Who wraps his arms around you as you fret, whispering sweet nothings and promises that he's sorry and he didnt mean to scare you, but then he gets that mischevious grin again that only you tend to see

Day off Tamlin! Who tells you theres something he wants to show you, but wont do it unless you agree to his bargain- a kiss, wherever he wants to place it.

Day off Tamlin! Who whisks you away to the hidden rabbit den in the western woods where some of his favorite mushroom fae mine them as pets

Day off Tamlin! Who lays on the forest floor, you breathing softly atop him as you doze, surrounded by bunnies snuggled up to you both

Whatever she was — she was astute. Somehow, she saw past his pretense. Despite how much it bothered, Tamlin had to give her credit for not being entirely wrong. She was young, barely fae, having survived cruel torture long before she had the chance to grow up. In that way, there was much they had in common, but Tamlin did not share his pain with anyone. He barely showed it to his friends. Letting others in was not an easy process and they’d gotten off to a rocky start.

He narrowed his brow when she reduced herself to simply a tavern maid. He’d been to the tavern. It was one of the few places nearby where neer-do-wells and merchants were allowed to lie their heads at night. It wasn’t the type of place that a young lady like herself should be seeking shelter — let alone raising a child. Yet, he got the feeling that passing judgement wouldn’t be helpful. Pushing his emotions into a box is what lead to her explosion of temper in the first place.

She needs empathy.

His was exhausted. Still he managed a slight smile as he took back his cloak, thankful to have the original. Tamlin pinned it over his shoulders. She looked cold. Why had the maid dressed her in such breezy clothing in early March? He carefully snapped his fingers and a warm, grey, woolen cape settled over her shoulders. “I’m on my way out past the village. Would you like me to walk you home?”

Stone Walls & Sacrifice | Tamlin & Briar @springcourthighlady

Tamlin was more than ready to leave by the time he finished listening to Briar’s rant. He let her finish — he wasn’t that impolite. His brisk footsteps echoed across the marble flooring and he looked over his shoulder, hoping that he was not followed. 

Yet, he was not that lucky. The prospects of desert with Lucien and Elain were slipping further away by the minute. Tamlin stilled when she called his name, pressing his lips into a thin line. Why won’t she go home? This is life, in Spring, right now. We’re all worried. We’re all frustrated. We all have family in need of aid. No one gets special privileges. Not even me — 

He didn’t even have privacy anymore, or space to think. Though, when he glanced over his shoulder, he was relieved to find some regret in her eyes. 

Only his friends called him by his first name. He wasn’t big on enforcing rank, but found it odd how casually she addressed him. 

He pressed his tongue into the edge of his teeth, forbidding the quick retort which danced on the edge of his lips. I will not lose it. I cannot. They cannot see me as a beast. 

He turned, stuffing his hands deeply into the pockets of his jacket, to hide how they’d tensed into fists. Running from his problems wasn’t effective, but neither was forcing himself into a corner until he lost his temper. 

Tamlin saw her hand reach for him. He wanted to back away. It had been over two years since a woman had touched him, apart from Calanmai. He flinched, but did not move. He wasn’t sure he could. 

She cares for me? I have met this female once. 

Tamlin swallowed, gravely still. “I understand your attachment, Lady Briar. Yet, if you cannot trust me as High Lord of Spring, no plan I create to bring Caiden home will be enough for you.”

He stepped away, lowering his green eyes to the ground. “If you’ll excuse me, it has been a long day.”