# . She Is Strong But She Is A Child / She Is A Child / She Is A Child. Take The World Off Her Shoulders,

#     𝙷𝙾𝙿𝙴𝙸𝙽𝙲𝙰𝚁𝙽𝙰𝙴𝚃. she is strong but she is a child / she is a child / she is a child. take the world off her shoulders, children should not have to fight to be young. / © / THIS IS A SIDEBLOG TO GODSDEFIED.

*  MUTANT9601,  ⸻ private james howlett, otherwise known as LOGAN or WOLVERINE; lovingly   plucked   from   canon   &   re-written   as   an  original   character. a study in: some feral animal claws at my ribcage, i am made of tragedy, FORGIVE ME FATHER FOR I HAVE SINNED, what  is  more  unfair  than  having  to  choose  between  being  a  monster  or  being  a  hero? by becky. THIS IS A SIDEBLOG TO GODSDEFIED.

                Those    moments    of    his    recoil    and    very    few    words    that    left    his    mouth    felt    like    an    eternity.    The    long    hours    of    him    taking    the    few    steps    back,    the    days    it    took    him    to    drink    from    the    bottle,    the    shatter    taking    years    to    finish    ringing    in    her    ears    and    those    words...    fuck,    those    words    cut    deep    to    the    bone.    It    isn't    the    response    she    had    hoped    for,    but    if    she    were    being    honest,    no,    she    isn't    surprised.

                What    does    surpise    her    is    the    gentle    touch,    the    few    quick    moments    of    staring    at    each    other    before    lips    come    crashing    down    onto    hers    like    a    wave    over    the    sand,    and    she    doesn't    know    what    to    do    with    herself.    Sure,    they've    kissed    before,    plenty    of    times.    It    comes    with    the    territory    of    sex,    but    not    like    this.    It    meant    something,    she    could    feel    what    he    wanted    to    say,    and    her    heart    almost    beat    itself    into    a    heart    attack,    feeling    like    it    would    burst    out    of    her    chest,    like    something    out    of    the    Alien    movies.    That'd    be    a    gory    sight    to    see,    but    it    would    some    how    make    more    sense    than    the    feelings    and    words    they    had    exchanged    only    moments    prior.

                Hands    find    his,    fingers    curling    around    his    own    as    she    presses    into    Logan.    He    didn't    give    her    a    chance    to    reply    to    his    words,    and    she's    glad    he    didn't.    Had    he,    well    she    may    have    just    turned    around    and    walked    out.    Little    white    lie    of    being    blacked    out    be    dammed,    she    would    have    hid    from    him    out    of    embarasment    instead,    with    the    way    he    had    responded.    This    kiss,    though,    felt    right.

                The    last    thing    Holly    thinks    about    is    everyone    else.    The    people    who    stare,    the    ones    who    cross    the    street    when    they    walk    down    the    sidewalk,    she    never    notices    them.    The    only    person    she    has    eyes    on,    even    cares    slightly    about    their    opinion    is    Logan.    Whenever    he    was    in    the    room,    the    drunk    bastard    held    Holly's    attention,    and    his    alone.    It    wasn't    devided    amongst    others,    no.    And    when    she    was    with    him,    it's    as    if    she    felt    wanted,    felt    like    her    childhood    meant    nothing    anymore,    and    all    those    nasty    words    that    anyone    ever    had    to    say    about    her    were    hollow    threats.    He    made    her    feel    alive    again,    something    she    had    never    quite    regained    fully    since    that    night    when    she    was    fifteen.

                Holly    pulls    back,    fingers    still    holding    his    as    she    searches    his    eyes    for    anything    indicating    that    he    didn't    mean    those    words.    They    say    that    actions    speak    louder    than    words,    but    sometimes    you    need    verbal    reassurance.

                "    Please    tell    me    I'm    not    alone    in    this,    Logan.    "    A    shaky    inhale,    and    the    tightening    of    her    grip    against    his    knuckles.    "    I    don't    think    my    heart    can    take    that.    "    She    was    meant    for    love,    and    rejection    would    break    her,    even    if    she    understood    it.    She,    too    does    not    think    she    deserves    it.    She,    too    does    not    think    anyone    could    love    a    girl    like    her.    But    who    would    have    thought    that    she    had    found    it    in    a    man    at    least    170    years    older    than    her    ??    Comical.

the words hit him like a fucking freight train going full speed / words that sound so familiar to him, yet he's certain he's never heard them before. hazel eyes finally looking at her like she's the reason the world keeps spinning [ & maybe for him, she is ] & he's so certain that if he touches her, she'll crumble. if he opens his heart up, she'll meet the same fate as all his other friends. he couldn't take losing her too. maybe he shouldn't be scared of touching her when he's done it so easily for so many weeks leading up to this; so many nights spent in each other's arms, but this was different.

part of him had been convinced that nobody could ever love him — after what he had done, he certainly didn't deserve it. especially not from somebody like holly, who was so good, so KIND, the antithesis of the man logan had become. the whiskey that he'd been drinking through the night feels as if it's gone from his bloodstream the second the words left her mouth. INTERNAL PANIC BUILDING, BUILDING, BUILDING ⸻ he's looking at her like a deer caught in headlights until finally his feet move, taking several steps back until he can reach over for the bottle of whiskey that had been discarded just a few moments earlier.

what's left of the liquid is downed in one fell swoop & empty bottle is tossed to the side [ recklessly, glass shatters upon the already messy floor of the living room ] but the burn going down doesn't help, isn't nearly enough for wolverine to feel anything. he's been quiet for too long, but he doesn't know what to say: too many things on the tip of his tongue that he swallows back down. lungs feel like they're constricting until he can no longer breathe, & his head finally shakes, as if denying her feelings would make them go away.

❛ you — you don't mean that. ❜ she couldn't. he wasn't deserving of such a thing & certainly not of something so soft. HE RUINS EVERYTHING HE TOUCHES. he never should've touched her. ❛ holly, you can't mean that. ❜ the declaration of everything he'd wanted to hear for over 200 years only seems to make him recoil: a hand running over his face in some feeble effort to wipe the emotions clean. but what he'd said had been true, & the longer it takes for her to take the words back, the deeper it sinks in.

MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, THEY COULD HAVE SOMETHING REAL. maybe the world around them would finally shut the hell up, & maybe the stares would finally stop. maybe people would stop talking around them in hushed whispers, stop running to the other side of the street when they walk by, stop shooting glares at him every time he walks into a building. the hope is the only thing he can hold onto. so he finally closes the gap between them, rough hands taking hold of her face so gently, waiting only a split second before lips crash down on hers — single kiss saying everything that he couldn't bring himself to utter, every ounce of love he held for her poured into it.

@godsdefied asked: you deserve to be with someone who's good to you all the time. / vera 4 holly and yes she’s talking abt john

                "    He's    good    to    me...    "    There's    a    nod    as    brows    furrow,    the    look    of    hesitance    plastered    across    her    face.    He    is,    she's    certain    of    it.    Who    murdered    way    more    people    than    she    would    have    liked    to    die    in    her    name    ??    Who    came    in    and    scooped    her    up,    saving    her    from    certain    death    ??    (    Never    mind    the    fact    that    Nick    had    been    by    his    side    the    whole    time    ).    With    John,    she    feels    loved,    she    feels    safe,    and    really,    that's    all    she    could    ask    of    him.

                "    Yeah,    he's    good    t'me    all    the    time.    "    But    she's    suddenly    reminded    of    the    first    time    they    had    slept    together,    how    he    had    ignored    her    for    the    weeks    leading    up    to    her    disappearence.    Still,    he    came    and    saved    her,    and    that    had    made    up    for    it...    right    ??

                "    He    buys    me    flowers,    occasionally...    "

@catfcng

                "    I    think    I    take    care'a    you    just    fine,    baby.    "    He    says,    eyes    lingering    a    moment    too    long.    Well,    if    you    ask    Nick,    there's    no    such    thing    as    too    long    when    it    comes    to    her.

                "    Y'know    what,    maybe    I'll    take    you    t'get    day    drunk    at    that    fancy    new    place    at    the    mall-    "    The    one    thing    he    loved    to    do    is    show    up    and    watch    the    looks    on    their    faces,    as    if    he    didn't    have    enough    money    to    pay    for    anything,    paying    with    his    black    card    then    whipping    out    a    wad    of    hundreds    and    leaving    one    on    the    table.    Right    next    to    seeing    Bella    happy,    but    that's    a    close    second.

                He    stands    pressing    a    hand    to    the    small    of    her    back,    gently    ushering    her    out    the    door.

                "    You    can    get    whatever    you    want,    but    I'm    pickin'    out    at    least    one    outfit    for    you.    "

Her head pops back in room as he shares mention of appetite and she giggles softly . " Well -- " She returns back into room with a pleated shirt and white top she changed into in front of him .

" You take care'a me , and I'll take care'a you . " Faint shrug of shoulder given as she slips into some chunky heels .

" Ready ! "