Memoriam For Knight Errant

Memoriam for Knight Errant

Her honest trembling was the very last straw.

So she shoved him quickly out, bolting it all closed.

He banged at the door in accompaniment as she lit match after match.

His eyes asking, ‘Why--?!’

Through the window, the look of smoke the nerve-ending sizzle of flesh as she sat calmly, casually, busy being consumed.

Glasses melting red; skin curling like autumn paper her frame tensing silently as her nostrils inhaled the flames--

‘--why do you not scream?’

‘Because, I don’t deserve it’, her one bloodshot, dim-seeing eye steadily stared, ‘the screaming.’

Her bones are there, even now.

Her own ruined palace of torment: sculpture of ashes, slagged windows charred wood the bones yearn the bones

beg and beg and beg

to scream.

Caged in dry calcium dust hanging in the air all around that open sky grave the pressure of air built up in lungs no longer there.

But she has had her way. And nothing in all the human world will allow those bones their desperately wanted release.

A knight beyond her very end. Suffer, and rightly so. This, her legacy to no one.

Where puritanical thinking inevitably leads us

just so you know, you have some followers who enjoy/write fanfiction. not saying their urls rn bc i don’t wanna air out dirty laundry in public but if you want them so you can block and report, just say the word and i’ll dm you a list

Emergency cleaning: Unfuck your whole house in the shortest time possible

So, your landlord/parents/home inspector/favorite movie star is dropping by, and your place is a disaster. You don’t have much time to clean it up. You’re in emergency mode. Let’s get started.

Don’t panic. Panic leads to fear, fear leads to procrastination, procrastination leads to the dark side. You can do this, but you have to stay calm.

Unlike maintenance cleaning, we’re not looking to completely unfuck one space at a time. Instead, we want to decrease the overall mess in stages, spread evenly across the whole area that we’re concerned about. If you think your home is at Level 10 filth, we want to bring the whole thing down to a Level 9, and then down from there. One really clean spot in an otherwise messy home is not going to be helpful here.

Get prepared. You’ll want to shut the computer down (or turn the modem off if you need your computer to play music). Trust me. Get your music going. Gather up trash bags, your vacuum and mop, some rags or paper towel, sponges, and other cleaning supplies. Use what you have on hand. Don’t get distracted running to the store and spending an hour browsing cleaning supplies. A multi-purpose cleaning concentrate or a jug of vinegar will be just fine.

Breaks are very important. Depending on your time constraints, work in 20/10s (20 minutes working, 10-minute break) or 45/15s. But take breaks because otherwise you’re marathoning, and marathon cleaning is no one’s friend. Keep hydrated, don’t forget to eat, and check in with yourself frequently to make sure you’re physically doing OK.

Make your bed. This will be your home base if you get overwhelmed or need somewhere clear to take a break.

Start with the garbage. Going from room to room, throw out anything that is obvious trash. Once you fill a bag, take it out. Repeat as many times as necessary.

Move on to dishes. Gather the dishes from all over your house and bring them to the kitchen. If you can, start them soaking in a sink of hot, soapy water or start loading the dishwasher. After the dishes are all in one place, spend one 20/10 getting started getting them under control.

Now it’s time for your flat surfaces. Countertops, tables, dresser tops, etc. Clear them off and wipe them down. Don’t get distracted in too much sorting and organizing. We’re in crisis mode here. There will be time to get in-depth once this is all done. The same applies to cabinets and closets. Unless you have reason to believe people will be opening closed doors, leave these alone for now.

Attack the floordrobe and shoe pile. Get your clothes either put away or in the hamper. Start a load of laundry if you need to, but keep in mind that laundry and dishes have three steps: wash, dry, and put it away, goddammit!

Get random stuff up off the floors. If something is trash-worthy, throw it away now rather than just move it around a bunch of times. Otherwise, put stuff where it belongs.

Take another 20/10 or 45/15 to catch up on more dishes, if needed.

Head into the bathroom. Pour some cleaner in the toilet bowl, fill the sink with hot water and cleaner, and either spray the tub and shower with cleaner, or fill the tub up with some hot water and add cleaner and let it soak. Put everything away that’s out and shouldn’t be, clean the mirror, counters, and toilet seat. Sweep or dry mop the floor. Wipe down the sink and tub/shower, and give the toilet bowl a scrub. Mop the floor.

Sweep and mop the kitchen floor.

Vacuum everything you can, and sweep everything you can’t.

Walk outside of your house (don’t lock yourself out, please). Walk back in and see what catches your eye first. Go and deal with that.

If you’re being inspected or your landlord is coming in for repairs, spend time on whatever area they’ll be focusing on.

Give the whole place one more once-over and pay attention to anything you’ve missed so far.

It’s an old trick, but if your place is a little funky-smelling, put a pan of water on the stove on low heat and add some citrus or cinnamon or vanilla. Don’t leave it unattended or forget about it.

Take a shower, put on something clean, and eat something.

You can do this. It’s overwhelming, yes, but it is not impossible. You just need to do it. You have a list. You have directions. You have a whole bunch of Internet strangers who have been there before and who are cheering you on. You can do this, but you need to get started.

Why are you still here? GO. START. NOW.

Between capitalism and religion (esp. christianity), we are all weaned on falsehoods that lead to some extremely horrible presumptions and attitudes about our world, ourselves, and others.

Capitalism keeps telling us that meritocracy is real.

It also reassures us that, if something awful happens to someone, it's because they didn't work hard enough to avoid it -- and so, of course, people should not receive the help they need to recover.

( Makes it a lot easier for the rich to justify their hoarding of resources if they've convinced you that other people shouldn't have them for one reason or another.

This pretty much also conditions us towards eugenicist thinking: sharpening already completely unnecessary competition for very much available resources, and helping to frame disabled and chronically-ill folk for society-wide scapegoating ).

Religion tells us that we are evil people from birth.

That, no matter what we do, we cannot be redeemed unless an abuser in the sky says so.

Religion pushes the fascist idea of "Might Makes Right" through the god character, who both encourages and excuses all manner of atrocities throughout the bible, and endlessly subjects others to arbitrary, unforgiving rules and nonsensical tests of loyalty.

In this way, religion reassures us that the moral code that we should follow isn't founded on consent and well-being; but is instead dependent on the arbitrary whims of whoever has the power to force, coerce, and exploit others into obedience and servitude.

Add onto that that marketing continually flattens things that it is good to pursue (like friendship, connection, knowledge, community building, and love); and hypes things that will never create true validation, happiness, or wholeness if we pursue them (such as constant consumerism, brand worship, celebrity worship, and the use of social media to show off coveted experiences instead of pursuing GENUINE experiences that we enjoy because we enjoy them, rather than pretending to enjoy them because it will raise our social status in the eyes of others); and it is no wonder that some find themselves seeking out and enjoying displays of cruel mockery and humiliation leveled towards fellow human beings in order to self-soothe.

It is no wonder that some are constantly of the opinion that humanity is "just evil"; and that, not only does humanity not deserve to continue, not only is the extinction of humanity a foregone conclusion; but that the extinction of humanity would be a guaranteed active good in any and all timelines.

It is no wonder that so many people will decry the ill-treatment of animals and pets, and then turn and shrug in apathy at the horrors that beset even human beings, even the innocent, even the young.

It is no wonder that so many become buried by internalized 'isms' and insecurities that they find it nearly impossible to believe that they deserve consideration and care from their "society".

It is no wonder that people see the work of defending each other, protecting each other, and abolishing this system so that humanity can finally become its best self; as being pointless, or even somehow harmful.

DAY 10 - Self Advocacy

Pushing for support & progress for autistic people is important, but it is incomplete without the inclusion & advocacy of autistic people themselves. As it goes for folks with all kinds of disabilities, "nothing about us without us."