Let Me Tell You All A Little Story.

Let me tell you all a little story.

My little brother was young, I was young (I don't recall what precise age, but somewhere around 5 for him and 9 for me), and our household at the time was pretty lively most of the time people were home. For reference, our living room, kitchen, dining area, and stairwell were all openly connected, with the only wall residing between the kitchen and then living room.

Our dining area was the access to the garden via sliding glass door, so it was always well-lit during the day, and the furniture consisted of a large wooden table, chairs, and a shelf with a 20 gallon fish tank on it.

WELL ONE DAY business is going about as usual, everyone's mulling about the gaff, when this massive crash comes from the dining room. My mother heard it first, rushing to the scene to deter anyone from approaching the affected area.

I come bolting down the stairs with all the pent-up energy of a 9 year-old boy who heard a catastrophic sound, and when I reach the scene of the crime, I see the following:

My mother, standing towards the edge of the dining room in complete disbelief and/or (let's be honest, it's both) horror, revving her maternal engines to deal with this as well as she can;

My brother, standing next to the fish tank, with a smile that seemed like he had just drank a quart of his beloved chocolate milk (which is another story);

And about 10 gALLONS OF WATER AND THE OCCASIONALLY SPACED DANIO FISH LOITERING CASUALLY ON THE FLOOR, WHO HAD ASSUMABLY JUST COME FROM THEIR 12 TO 12 IN THE FISH TANK THROUGH THE NEWLY INSTALLED ENTRANCE OF A MASSIVE 6 INCH HOLE

Now you must understand, outside of the glass doors leading to the garden sat a concrete patio to stand on (or sit or dance or do whatever you're into I suppose), and flanking that patio on either side is a rock patch full up on well over fist-sized rocks.

See, what had happened, as evidenced by the new resident of the fish tank (a rock the size of my little brother's head), was that my little brother had taken a massive rock into the house, and thought to his little self, 'hm, what can one do with a rock', and then proceeded to SMASH the ROCK into the FISH TANK. WITHOUT HESITATION.

So overall, my brother nearly replaced the 'two birds, one stone' metaphor with 'screw it, rocks'll take out anything'.

Disclaimer for the fellow animal-lovers here, my mother saved every last fish that day

#except when you need them to #"sit oN THE BUTTON SIR JACK THE CAT" #*stares intensely at jack* #*jack, sitting on the keyboard to control the whole thing 15 feet away" #mEOaw? #i can't even with cats #still love 'em to death

cats are really useful for when you need a small animal to sit 10-15 feet away from you and stare at you with unceasing neutrality

i think it's interesting

the button to express my joy

loomed

not from a lack of enjoyment

but from the whelmingness of discomfort

when you found me in the darkness

we ran

hand in hand,

i thought it was a miracle

that we were escaping together

but you later told me

out of breath

and laughing

that it was your home

we had run from.

#me #i think there's something so beautiful about bill watterson's calvin and hobbes though #he didn't accept money for it #he considered it art #which it is #it covers some important issues and shows a masterful combination of childhood innocence and that same innocence when skewed through an adult mind #not to mention that calvin's imagination is one that inspired me and my brother to try and time travel using a cardboard box #simply because we believed in it

calvin and hobbes

#the fact that children can usually speak two-word sentences around age 2 #these infants sure are opinionated #"dear, the baby seeks the mines, shall we indulge his aspirations?" #"congratulations, it's a minor! miner?" #"screw it, he's a minotaur"

THE CHILDREN YEARN FOR THE MINES