Shoutout To Girls Who Do Not Understand The Difference Between The Bit And Waging Psychological Warfare

shoutout to girls who do not understand the difference between ‘the bit’ and ‘waging psychological warfare’

Foaming at the mouth

Just a couple matching each other kinda thing

(Bonus)

F1 drivers getting shocked by a F16

OH MY GOD???

This isn't even the first thing I've seen where people just forget about the past grids 😭😭😭

f1 pairings as famous love tropes: fernando alonso x lance stroll

bad guy x good boy (mafia!AU)

'and you don't even know that even the echo of your footsteps is enough to have my heart racing'

fernando glances at the man in front of him and wrinkles his nose in disgust. pathetic men making questionable decisions and refusing to be held accountable for them always ticked him off since the very young age, made his fists itch with desire to break their faces. or show them their place, which, as he learned later in life, was on their knees in front of him with hands tied up and face swollen with bruises. they look good like that and sick satisfaction coursing through his veins is a solid enough proof that he's doing everything right. fernando likes to think of himself as of a messenger from god of sorts; and if more often than not some people need to receive that message in the form of execution then, well, it's not his fault. people always bring their doom to themselves with their own hands, afterall.

'please,' a hoarse rasp interrupts his thoughts. 'i beg you, just give me one more week. i'll get the money, i will-'

'same old, same old,' fernando muses, shaking his head. 'i gave you one month, no? one month is very generous, my friend. i gave you one month and you go and rat everything out to my enemies.' he watches with a predator smile as man in front of him starts trembling, crying out when one of fernando's men pull on the ropes tighter. 'what did you tell them, hm?'

fernando knows it's not very easy to talk after you've been choked and beaten up but his sympathy is non-existent for liars and cheaters. he leans back on his chair, watching with mild entertainment as man tries to force the words out of his mouth. right side of his face is swollen disproportionally and fernando is about to suggest to one of his men to fix that when his phone buzzes. everything stills instantly. as fernando slowly pulls his phone out, one of his guards is quickly pulling tape out, covering mouth of the man in front, already knowing very well that there's only one person in this world for who his boss has a ringtone on. everyone moves swiftly, making no sound and also making sure that man in front also doesn't make any as they drag him to another room, locking door after themselves to give their boss privacy they know he needs.

'si, mi amor.' fernando answers, hsi smooth baritone a complete opposite to sharp and edged way he spoke before.

'nando!' excited and a little shy giggle carries from the other side and fernando relaxes on his seat, smiling. 'how are you? sorry for calling that abruptly, are you busy?'

'never for you.' fernando is never this honest with anyone but it's worth being like that with lance. he can picture perfectly a rosy blush adorning his cheeks right now, knows his little world is biting his lower lip right now to stop himself from smiling widely. fernando wishes he could be there to pull that plump bottom lip out and be the one to bite it instead. he appeases himself with knowledge of being able to do this very soon. 'what is it, lancito?'

'i just learned that my next class was cancelled so i'm free right now. i thought maybe we can meet up earlier than our initial time, so wanted to check it with you.' lance voice is a wave of gentleness for fernando, the one in which he swims with eyes closed and heart well rested. 'but um- it's okay if you can't! i know you're busy at work, so-'

'i'll be there.' fernando interrupts without thinking twice. 'you are at your uni, yes? i'll come pick you up.'

'are you sure?' lance always asks this and fernando sometimes wants to laugh from the absurdity of it all, from how lance thinks he's not his priority which is the furthest thing from truth. 'i mean, it's fine if you can't, i will wait-'

'lance,' fernando's tone is still gentle (it always is, with lance) but firm, making it clear that this is not up for discussion. 'i will pick you up. in thirty minutes, cariño. okay?'

lance's breath hitches on the other side. fernando knows it's all new for him, knows he's never been in relationship with an older man or more specifically, someone like fernando. but lance forgets that it's all new for fernando as well. he's never been in a serious relationship before, never had anyone's photos on his phone, never had someone for whom he's ready to cross all the borders and bring down the moon. maybe his new and lance's new are different, but fernando hopes that in time lance will stop asking him if he's sure and will start demanding for fernando to put his work aside and come pick him up.

'okay.' lance's voice is small but fernando can hear his smile. 'i can buy us something here to eat? do you want anything?'

contrary to popular belief, fernando does have a heart. and it squeezes in his chest right now, filled with enormous affection for the most beautiful boy. by instinct, fernando's hand rises up and he lightly scratches at his blazer right above his heart, smiling. god, if only lance knew. 'no, mi amor. can you wait or are you very hungry? i will take you out to a good place.'

good place, the best place. lance belongs in louvre with all the other world's most precious forms of art but fernando is selfish, possessive and not good, so he'll keep him to himself. he glances at the clock and quickly straightens up, realizing that he might get into traffic if he doesn't go now.

'well, i am a bit hungry-'

'twenty minutes,' fernando cuts in, already moving. 'wait for me, princesa.'

'don't call me that!' lance shrieks but it's with glee and excitement and maybe something else that fernando wants to explore once they are all alone. he laughs and his laugh is- fernando knows he's done many bad things, but lance's laugh is a remedy for it all. 'okay-okay, i'll wait. but not too long, yeah? hurry up, old man!'

fernando can't even be offended with that. lance feeling comfortable enough to call him that, lance knowing he can tell him to 'hurry up!' and acting like a petulant child - fernando will wait patiently for the day when lance realizes the power he has over him. he has people shaking in fear at the sound of his name, there are hundreds of people at his deck, ready to do anything for him and then there's lance. lance, who's not afraid of fernando, who falls into his arms like they are the safest place in the world, who looks up at fernando like he's something to be worshipped. fernando is sure that he's been giving to him from god for all his good work on being the messenger. 'i'm on my way.'

'drive safe.' lance says like always and like always it feels like a warm blanket on fernando's shoulders. 'see you soon, nando.'

'see you, amor.'

he needs few seconds to wipe the smile off his face and take a steadying breath for his heart to go back to normal. he allows himself one more moment of weakness - stares a bit at the pretty photo of lance set on his backscreen, the one where he's holding a puppy and is looking down at it with the softest expression on his face. he smiles at it once and then quickly slides phone back to his pocket, opening the door. two men instantly straighten up and nod, waiting for the instructions. fernando thinks of how much time he'll spend with lance, remembers his upcoming midterms and resigns himself for only being able to snatch him for few hours. 'keep him here, make sure he's all ready to give answers by nine.'

two curts nods and he walks away, swirling car keys in his fingers. nothing in his face betrays the excitement he feels at the prospect of seeing lance soon but mark, his designated driver, only chuckles and readily gives away car keys, opening door for his boss. 'i figured it's about lance, seeing how you went out so early. should stay here or you want me to backtrail after you?'

'stay here.'

fernando doesn't like anyone being anywhere near him once he's with lance, knows no one is bold enough to go after him on the broad daylight. his black aston martin attracts all of the attention as he speeds through the streets, turning twenty minutes into fourteen as he parks in front of the university. he immediately notices his boyfriend - god, he never thought he'd even have one - and lance runs to him with a huge smile on his face. he quickly crosses the road and jumps into the car, all bright and smiley, leaning over to plant a small peck on fernando's lips. if fernando could, he'd wrap his hand around lance's neck and bring him back, slot his mouth more firmly against his to take the kiss he patiently waited for but he knows lance wants to be more discreet and fernando is nothing but accomodating when it comes to his beautiful boy.

'that was fast,' lance comments, settling comfortably on the seat. 'fourteen minutes instead of twenty. did you speed?'

'not at all, mi vida.' fernando lies, smiling at the way lance rolls his eyes. his hand reaches out and lance meets him halfway, interlacing their fingers together. 'you are hungry, yes?'

'starving! do you know what happened today? so this professor-'

fernando smiles and lets lance talk as he drives them to his favorite place. lance gets so animated once they are alone, his shy exterior breaks in two to let his true self shine and fernando wants to protect this with his life. the way lance looks at him, how he doesn't hesitate to let fernando in, the way he wants him - fernando knows a blessing when he sees one and lance is exactly that. automatically, fernando brings their clasped hands to his mouth and kisses lance's knuckles gently, smiling at the slight stutter in younger's speech.

'sap,' lance says and from his mouth it sounds suspiciously like i love you.

fernando only nods, not saying anything back. only kisses his hand once more for good measure and lets them rest on his thigh. i love you, he thinks, turning to cast a glance at lance. i will love you forever.

a/n: so this was meant to end in another way but i got distracted :/ anyways, fully blaming my obsession with them on @ace-race-ace and @wintergreenoreo. i didn't even care about these two when i got into f1, but then i found their blogs and...yeah. thank you for your content!! it inspired me to write this <3 - nini

my other f1 works are here

my seventeen works are here