BF5 + Illness Headcanons

BF5 + Illness Headcanons

When someone on the team is sick...

Vert puts them on bed rest, that's an order. Absolutely no missions or even looking at data logs until they feel 100% better

Agura makes sure they have everything they need, blankets food heating pad etc., and sets an alarm to check in on them every hour. she also works with Sage to administer their medication schedules (looking at you, Spinner, who once tried to drink an entire bottle of cough syrup after he sneezed one time)

Zoom hangs out with them so they're not lonely, has 100% faith in his immune system, doesn't believe he can get infected (spoiler alert: he can). Vert shuts this down right away because "we're trying to save the world here Zoom and I can't have two people on the bench" you love your cute lil sports metaphors Vert

Stanford will make them a playlist of their favorite tunes to cheer them up

Sherman will make his world-famous chicken noodle soup; he only makes it when his teammates are sick and everyone who's healthy fights for the leftovers

Spinner tries not to be too freaked out or let his germaphobia get the best of him. He offers to play video games with them as long as they're separated by a plastic sheet in the medbay, or he'll try out some new jokes, or at the very least hack into whatever he needs to so that they can watch their favorite movies for free

Tezz hasn't gotten sick in nine years except for the times he had to eat something weird to survive on the Sentient moon, so at first he's a little wary of his sick teammate... but then he eventually decides he needs to build his immune system back up so he'll just stand over them until he gets coughed on. Vert shuts this behavior down until AJ joins the team and it's OK for them to have two people who can't fight in Battle Zones

AJ is a lot like Zoom, he has no concept of germ theory or immunity and so he'll happily watch movies or just chill with the sick person. Again, Vert shuts this down; he can only lose so many people at a time

Sage doesn't understand a lot about human illness but she's excited to learn! Sherman is the first one to get sick canonically and at first she's way too eager and asks him a million questions that he's too tired to answer. once she starts to understand illness more she pulls back, but she does as much of her work as she can in the medbay to keep her poor sick humans company

When they're sick...

Vert: Vert hates being sick and he doesn't want the team to worry about him but Agura can smell it a mile away. she takes over and makes him rest and takes care of him and hey, maybe this actually isn't so bad

Agura: Agura is the worst about being sick. Think Rosa Diaz of Brooklyn 99. She completely denies it, doesn't want to look weak, doesn't need anyone's help. Vert makes her count Battle Keys just so she'll finally sit down and finds her curled up on the floor in the vault taking a nap. then he carries her to bed and gives her little forehead kisses

Zoom: second-worst only to Agura. Vert also has to give him some made-up BS job so that he can get some rest. they consider handcuffing him to the medbay so that he'll stay there but realize that might be traumatic after the incidents of "Man Down" so they just ask him really nicely to please stay put and get better, ok? we'll get you your favorite milkshake and AJ will come hang out with you if you do!

Stanford: the neediest person alive when he's sick. Stanford gets bored and lonely, fast. He's always asking for a cough drop or another glass of water. finally Agura, ever a bestie, just facetimes him all day long and puts her phone in an armband she uses for running so he can feel like he's hanging out with everybody in the Hub

Sherman: Sherman is the Hub's best patient. he just calmly vibes in the medbay until he feels better (meanwhile Spinner is freaking out because his brother is going to DIE). everyone tries to make him chicken noodle soup that's as good as his secret recipe and everyone fails but he's touched by the gesture

Spinner: as a germaphobe, Spinner is completely freaked out when he's sick. He makes Sage test him for every illness known to humankind, including things like the black plague or malaria that would be impossible for him to get in handler corners. he forces his teammates to dress in full hazmat suits whenever they bring him something and panics the whole time, which makes his illness worse. Vert, Agura and Sage secretly agree to add Xanax to his medication and that actually works wonders

Tezz: Tezz is too proud to admit it but after nine years of being on his own when he got sick, he secretly loves having people take care of him. He mostly stays quiet in the medbay and surprises his teammates by thanking them for taking care of him

AJ: AJ hates being sick and is way too quick to think he's getting better, which often prolongs his illnesses. he'll be in the medbay for a few hours or a single day and then be like "Vert, I'm healed, let's go snowboarding" or something like that. go back to bed AJ, you're sick!!

I have an unhealthy obsession with Zoom. Here's screenshot of him, that I got from YouTube

He's too cute and adorable for his own good

jack wheeler shocksuit: how it started vs how it’s going… 🤨 man, there is just a certain je ne sais quoi about the sloppy sketch that is so endearing to me.

HEADCANON: HOW THE BF5 TEXT YOU

a/n: hello hello how are ya? I know I've been fucking dead for what, 2 years and then I come back giving ya random headcanons and disappear again for a few months and again randomly come back. I'm a goddamn mess and I'm sooo sorry. I just have poor time management skills and poor mental health. And also lack of motivation. Anywayyyys, here are some headcanons which I have been planning to write for a long time but keep forgetting to do so (also I don't know whether this headcanon was already done or not).

Vert Wheeler

Okay, so this man likes to use proper grammar. Will take his time to text back and NEVER the type to leave you on read, because he thinks it’s rude to do so.

He don’t really use the newer slang a lot.

Uses emojis as a way to express his emotions, and it’s quite literal.

Like this man uses the “😭” as a sign that he’s upset.

Uses the “😂”, “😄”, “❤️”, emoji’s quite a lot.

Long paragraphs about how much he loves you, paragraphs about what happened during missions are to be expected.

Agura Ibaden

Just like Vert, she doesn’t really use newer slang.

Only uses ”😀” emoji.

Will only leave you on read if she’s busy. Otherwise she’ll text back.

Will send you multiple texts but not enough for her to blow up your phone with notifications.

Flirts with you A TON. She may not look like a flirt but, she is. Only to you.

Zoom Takazeumi

Uses a TON of newer slang.

He sends you loooong paragraphs if he’s feeling very romantic and if he deeply misses you if you’re away. But if he’s feeling normal and as always being the goofball he is, he likes to send you short multiple messages.

Uses a lot of emojis.

Zoom: Babe, I miss you so much aaaahhhhh Love you!!! ❤️❤️❤️💗💗💗💗💗💞💞💕💓💓💓💋💋💋💋💋❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️❤️‍🔥❤️🥰💗💘💓💞💋💞💋💗💘💓💋💞💕💜🧡🩵💚💕💞💋❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥💕💋💞💕💋❤️🥰❤️❤️🥰❤️🥰🥰💕💕❤️

Never leaves you on read.

Sherman Cortez

Sometimes, you wonder whether if it’s his grandma texting because he texts are so….old people-ish?

He will legit sends you Good Morning and Good Night Images. Something like this:

Very sweet and romantic when he has a full on convo with you.

He usually never leaves you on read and when he does, expect a bunch of apologies and a string of “I love you”’s

His texts range from short to large paragraphs.

He uses slang rarely

Uses a shit ton of emoji’s like Zoom.

Spinner Cortez

Uses a lot of slang

Uses emoji’s more than words tbh.

Obviously, short texts.

Will leave you on read, and will apologize if you get pissed off.

The type to send you a lot of memes. If someone looks through your text messages with him, it’ll mostly be memes that you send each other and reactions from both of you.

Stanford Isaac Rhodes

He’s British and from the royal family…so no slang. He kind of hates it tbh.

Flirts with you (obviously) and also will have a full on convo with you while he’s on the mission (Vert doesn’t appreciate this)

Will send you audios of him singing songs that he wrote. It’s obviously about you.

Sends you selfies of him with a text saying “I miss you, my little angel”

Short texts, but like a bunch of them. Enough to blow up your phone.

Will get insanely nervous if you don’t text him back within an hour if you’re away.

Tezz Volitov

This man is complicated.

This man just doesn’t text and it’s not because he doesn’t like it. He forgets to message people and let them know that he’s fucking alive.

You have to be the one to message him first and he’ll message you back shortly after. (Or like a day later. Depends on how busy he is)

Does not use emoji’s.

There are days were he is the first one to text and those are verrryyy rare. (DO NOT poke him too much on that, that will make him sulk)

AJ Dalton

Blows up your fucking phone with a long line of messages.

And half of the long line of texts are just him correcting himself from that fucking annoying autocorrect.

Sends a bunch of pictures of himself. Either of him taking selfies with random things he finds during missions or of him making goofy faces.

Replies to your messages INSTANTLY. He’s actually looking forward for your message.

Uses a shit ton of emoji’s as well.

Hey guys! It's been a while since I've posted. And the reason being is that I've lost motivation. Also, I've been busy with other stuff that I kind of forgot that this blog exists. Life has been hectic and right now, I've been gaining some motivation to write. I've got some asks in my askbox that are like, months old. Maybe even a year old. I'm planning to answer those. (So sorry for answering them super late. I'm pretty sure some of you don't remember asking them. lol) I'm keeping my ask box closed for now. After I've answered all of your asks, I'll open them!

AAAOOOUUUGGGHHH Anti BF5 I love and adore you,, be in another episode challenge 😭

Anyways this is a recreation of Stanford's line in Stormshocker! But things are reversed in this dimension so Simon is a washed up D List celebrity and Stanford is an evil mastermind calling the shots,,

I love em both to pieces and I'm SUPER proud of this piece!!