There Is No Greater Irony Than Me Publishing A New Fic All About Friendship With Malleus And Getting

There is no greater irony than me publishing a new fic all about friendship with Malleus and getting him friends cuz he deserves them…and then part 2 of Book 7 just dropping with Malleus just absolutely losing it at the end only a few hours later.

Hi! Since Aromantic awareness week is almost around the corner, may I ask for some queerplatonic relationship headcanons with the dorm housewardens? Also your writing is amazing, wish I could write that well lmao

Queer platonic Relationship HC's

Summary: aro! dorm leaders with aro!gn!reader

A/N:Guess who can finish things on time! 😂 Also, I had to look up what specifically a QPR was..and low key...when I talk about the relationship I want on my non aro days...I think this is what I want. Anyway, happy aro awareness week! Whether you're a full time aro, or on a spectrum like me, I hope you take this week to feel valid!

CW:discussions of the internal gaslighting that comes with being aro and ace, because at least for me that's important to discuss.

His favorite thing to do after a long day is sit next to you and quietly do homework or paperwork together. He feels so safe just sitting with you. He likes to lean over and look at what you're doing, before making a comment or a suggestion. He likes when you do it too.

Another thing he likes to do is straighten your outfit. Before you go out for the day, he gives you a once over, then straightens your tie and your collar, and retucks in your shirt, before giving you a nod and sending you on your way. It gives him a giddy feeling when he sees you later in the day, and your outfits is still as crisp and clean as the Queen would want.

You got Trey's strawberry tart recipe when he graduated. When Riddle has a particularly bad day, you've usually already figured it out and are baking a tart for him. He comes into the kitchen and slumps on the countertop, and just watches you. It's one of the few times he lets his posture slip, and lets himself whine about things. Then when it's finished, he gets the first slice, and you both get to enjoy it together.

He's only a cuddler on bad days. So you both have your own rooms. But cuddling is never off the table if it's needed. On either of your bad days, you can go to the other's room, and silently slip in beside them.

His biggest thing is he wants to coparent a hedgehog with you. Since you're both aro in these HC's, he figures this is his best opportunity. You'll both fight for hours on a name before deciding on something like "Rosebud" or "Queenie". He wants to make sure it's healthy, but also can't resist giving it surplus of treats. If you try to put it on a diet, both of them are going to pout at you until you cave.

He uses you to keep his mother off his back relationship wise. When she needs him to attend an event, you dress to the nines and become the "perfect trophy spouse". Both of you are the "perfect married couple" and it makes her rich friends and her bugger off.

Romantic or platonic, he's always on the lookout for a cuddle buddy. When he starts the relationship, he's very clear that he wants you to be his real life body pillow. And maybe that's how the relationship started, both of you wanting cuddle buddies with no (romantic) strings attached.

His spell drive teammates really like you. Because it means Leona will actually play, and play well. For Leona, it means everything to him that someone sees him as important enough to come see him. It makes him feel loved and supported, which gives him the energy to play.

He'll drive you anywhere you need to go. You being there for him is everything, so he pays it back by giving you rides, and just showing up for you. It's only fair. You support him, he has to support you. No one is allowed to feel second, not in his house.

Never stops calling you herbivore, but it definitely becomes an affectionate thing. He's thrilled when you start to call him carnivore. Loves sarcastic back and forth with you, especially when you are using your nicknames instead of your names.

You made out once. It was because he was curious if he was capable of romantic feelings, and felt like if they would be for anyone, they would be for you.  Obviously, you both got nothing from it, but at least you can say you tried if Farena gets too pushy about the specifics of your relationship. (He means well, he just gets excited when it comes to his baby brother)

He likes it when you stay with him when he works late. You don't even have to talk, just sit on the couch and read, or doodle, or nap while he finishes his paperwork. He likes to look over and see you doing stuff. He's not alone.

He wants cuddles, but he's self conscious about it at first. So you start out with two rooms. As he gets more comfortable with you, and learns you aren't going to tell him he was creepy and to fuck off,  he starts to formulate a plan. He asks you to wait with him in his office, and waits until you fall asleep on the couch. Then he slips in next to you, and you both wake up snuggled together. He did this a couple times, until you got used to cuddling and just came to him in the night. Does he know it was manipulative? Absolutely! Does he have the confidence to be normal? Nope.

The two of you team up to trounce Idia twice as hard, in board game club. Azul spends way too much time planning strategies, and gives you a PowerPoint presentation before every club meeting with what he is going to do, and what you are going to do. Idia hates that there are two of you now.

Gets migraines sometimes, and is incredibly appreciative when you let him lay in your lap and massage his temples, or run your fingers along his scalp. The twins tease him for being "weak" with you, but when he's got a migraine he can't bring himself to care. Plus he knows you'll kill the twins for him. You're great like that.

He cooks for you a lot. He pretends it's to test out new menu items, but growing up with Mama Ashengrotto gave him feeding people as a love language. No matter what you look like, he's always worried you're too skinny. He's still too self conscious if you try to flip the tables on him, but give him time, and he'll let you feed him too.

Probably started as a fake dating thing so that his family would stay off his back. He is the heir to essentially an empire, and is expected to find a partner! So, since you are on the same page, he turns to you in his hour of need.

He's always touching you. Especially the more animated he gets. When he's talking or telling a story, he touches your shoulder a lot, especially when he's talking about you to someone else. If he's not touching your shoulder, he's squeezing your knee, or laying his head on your shoulder, or…well I think you get it.

Calls you "his treasure" so often that people ask all the time if you are dating. You both always laugh and say no…but people ask it so often that sometimes you both start to gaslight yourselves, like, "are we dating?" Then something will happen that reminds you both you're aro, and it'll make you laugh all over again.

He always just knows how you feel, and is three steps ahead. If you're sad, you come home and he's already made you some food. If you're getting sick, he's already gotten medicine, laid out your pajamas, and made your bed super comfy for you. You don't know how he does it, he just seems hyper aware of everything when it comes to you! He just wants you to be happy!!!!

Because he's so important, you probably aren't allowed to live with him until he is head of his family, and can dictate his own life. So you have lots of sleepovers, where you stay up late, and gossip about everyone, and Jamil has to come in and yell at you both to go to bed! (Honestly, he's just like a mom sometimes.)

He likes to take you on shopping sprees with him, holding your hand and dragging you place to place, and paying for anything you so much as look at. Meanwhile, Jamil is trailing behind you both with the most exhausted expression on his face.

Bonus: he feels like the kind of aro that when people try to explain romantic attraction to him, he's like, "But I love everybody! 🤗" And then the people explaining it facepalm.

Vil likes to model his looks for you before he debuts them to the public. He knows they're good, but it's fun for him to put on a mini fashion show. He especially likes when you get excited about a look. Those are the ones he posts on his own magicam.

Vil hates it, but he's slowly picked up your speech patterns from how often you two are together. He'll be having a normal conversation, then he'll see Epel smirk, and Rook giggle, and he'll realize he said something that only you would say. It's embarrassing for him, but hilarious for Epel, who finally gets to correct his grammar.

He formulates a personal skin care product line for you. Everyone's skin is different, and it's Vil's love language to take care of people's skin, and help them achieve their "highest form". He'll even apply it for you, he'll do the hard parts. Just show up to his room at 7:30 pm sharp. Or he'll send Rook after you.

If you are okay with it, he likes to coordinate your makeup and outfits so that you both are matching. He already knows he is the fairest one of all, but he'd be willing to share the title with you. And dressing you up gets him so excited for the day. He's almost unrecognizable with how excited he gets when you are matching. He'll stand next to you while you both look in the mirror, and have the dopiest grin on his face.

He takes you out on spa days with him. You both get massages, and mani petis, and facials, and chat about all your woes and celebrity gossip. It's the most human anyone, except you, gets to see Vil. You know the people running the spa go home and brag about what they witnessed, but no one will believe them. Vil Schoenheit? Gossiping and laughing like a teenager? You must be drunk.

Bonus: Him and Rook had a QPR before you two, but they "split" amicably because Rook is too much of a lover, and needed more. Vil gets it though, and still allows Rook to dote on him when he needs someone to pamper.

The big thing in this relationship is emotional support. He "keeps you around" (his words) because he feels better when you guys hold hands. He'll bring you everywhere with him, because you holding his hand makes things better. He'll go places with you too, it's only fair. Ortho's just happy Idia is finally touching grass.

When he doesn't come to class in person, he likes to text you to see what you're up to. He gets giddy every time you text him back. He gets even more excited when you send him a meme with no explanation, and he gets to use his top notch brain to figure out what you are up to, and why it's relevant. 

Movie nights. A lot of them. He brings one of his fave obscure movies, and you both watch and critique them. He thinks you both should start a podcast so that others can hear your excellent opinions.

He's so chatty with you. He hasn't been uncomfortable having a conversation with you since when you first met. Other people ask how you got him to be so talkative, and you don't really have an answer? If Idia is feeling particularly annoyed today, he'll say something like, "Y/N is friend shaped, you aren't." Then continue the conversation as though he didn't just totally wreck that person.

Everytime he  has a new invention, you're the first to know. Then he gets excited and practices his speech with you. With others, he gets high and mighty, like he is all too aware of how much smarter he is. But with you he's patient. He answers all your questions, and even lets you test the invention out.

Despite being willing to leave his room for you, he still has bad days where it's just too hard. And he is so grateful to you when you go on snack/meal runs for him. He could cry when you bring him the food. You're sent from the gods. You have to be! No one but an angel would be so perfect and kind to him.

He could cry with happiness when you let him babysit Grim. He has a whole plan; games they can play, food he can feed him, hours of petting scheduled in…he's so pumped! He's hoping you'll see he can co parent more cats with you in the future.

Look, I already HC Mal as Ace (it's fine if you don't, that's just my opinion). I feel like he's the aro ace that just…never gets it? He'll have his arm wrapped around your shoulders for moral support, and people will be like, is that your mate? And he'll just look really confused like…no? He does a QPR so naturally, that it's never actually "official". You're just kind of the person who lives in his castle, cuddles with him, and is there for every major life event he goes through. No big deal. 

He gets a little jealous when you hang out with another friend, like Sebek or Silver. He knows you don't mean anything by it…but you're his best friend, right? They're just secondary friends, right? No, he's not pouting, but yes, he would like to join you, thanks for asking.

Draconic instincts are to hoard, and deck out their loved ones in shiny things. You'll find random shiny trinkets on your pillow when you wake up, like you just got visited by the tooth fairy. He's acting like an excited puppy if you wear or display the things he gives you. He'll bring it up to everyone you see. "Doesn't Y/N look great in that bracelet? That's one of the best pieces from my hoard. 😊" If you give him shiny trinkets and rocks back, he'll treat them like the most precious things in his life. He'll be giving diplomats a tour of the castle, and they'll arrive at a pedestal with a single rock on it, and he'll proclaim it "the kingdom's greatest treasure!"

Makes this face all the time when he's around you: 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

You're his guest of honor at every single event. And he always announces your entrance like you are the most powerful person in the room. "I would like to present Y/N L/N, the greatest human to ever live, and my best friend!" More than one diplomat has been very confused by who the fuck this human is. 

The nicknames, oh my God the nicknames. Think Anne Perkins and Leslie Knope. "Y/N, you beautiful tropical fish." "Y/N, you beautiful, talented, brilliant, powerful musk ox." "Y/N, you tricky minx." He could give Rook and Floyd a run for their money with his nicknames for you. (Honorable mention to the time he called you "the most precious child of man to ever child of man.")

Me being a twst and pkmn fan today

WAT.

For those that follow me…please bear me with as I try to make my blog look all aesthetic and pretty and also while I upload a bunch of Fics that are already on my AO3…your patience is appreciated 👌🏻

Malleus Overblot

I am fuckin crying