This Is Temporary Agent Squids

This is temporary agent squids

I am requesting backup from site command. This □"1)÷:Ƙþ'ĥß]《¿§⁹6ð×/ axolotl can't stay in containment for 5 @&Ŕ:€¤\♡ɓłğű×;şŒƏ seconds

the blog killing axolotl is one of my favorite things that has ever happened on this website because talking about it afterwards sounds like an inside joke or perhaps a prank. like always be on the lookout for the blog killing axolotl. he can kill your blog. it happened to me once trust me.

"Mom said it was MY turn on the Xbox!"

Antique stores in strip malls are like, "Welcome in! We have the most breakable and expensive items the world has ever known and aisles you couldn't squeeze a greased toddler through and if you even THINK about perusing our figurines you WILL smash $10,000 worth of uranium glass with your big fat succulent buttcheeks," and every time I'm like, "I love to play laser spy maze. You're on."

well than here you go

I imagine it would not be fun to watch your child turn to stone.

WOOP WOOP SO PROUD OF THIS. I spent like 5 whole days on it so I’d appreciate a reblog hehe.

let me tell you driving from Ohio to Washington in a SmartCar with everything I owned was funny enough on its own but once I got west of the Rockies, every. single. time. I stopped ar a gas station, random dads would just spawn beside my car. like there was some sort of dad portal following me. and they’d see my ohio plates and go, “did you DRIVE through the mountains in that?” and every. single. time. I’d go, “well, they didn’t airlift me!”

it killed. it absolutely cleared ever time. never failed to make the dads laugh. they were obsessed. i said it the same every time. it was like I was in a groundhog day timeloop on interstate 70 westbound gas stations. and you know what? I was happy.