Randomness That Has Absolutely Nothing To Do With Anything

Randomness that has absolutely nothing to do with anything

I have a trash bag hanging on my doorknob, because I'm a procrastinator and I'm not cleaning my room, but my twin ister comes in and she's like "What the crap is on your door?" so I respond with "My soul." So, being the the 14 year old she is, she said "Well, your soul is trash."

We both broke out laughing for about 5 minutes.

Remember, if someone holds a door for you, you don't have to run. Them holding the door means they're willing to wait for you. That doesn't mean slow down, though.

Idk if this sudden crippling fear of death is something that my Festive Depression has decided to bring along with it this year or if it's because no one is hiding the fact that they don't think my grandpa will live far into the next year, but it's doing me no favors.

Am I gonna use it as motivation? Yes

Is it gonna be looming over me and adding to my already Sky Heavy insecurities and anxieties? Also yes

I've never feared my own death before. I plan to live as long as I can because the people who don't bother with me would be disappointed if I died and I'm too much of a people pleaser to let that happen. I use myself as motivation for people to keep living, so this sudden fear that I just won't wake up one day is....scary.

I don't plan to die. If I do die, it won't be for a while. But I can't help these thoughts for some reason. They creep up on me and pull me into my own head. That's a dangerous place to be.

Because my family (aside from my sisters) are under the illusion that I'll be getting married, I Will be buried in a wedding dress.

Thank you

Happy Christmas my darling dears! If you don't celebrate, I wish you a fabulous day both today, tomorrow, and the rest of the year

I hope my cats are happy. I learned a new skill just for them!

When sleeping, I keep myself just conscious enough to hear what's going on around me. I'm also able to keep a bit of control over movement like that. (It came in very handy while in school)

Because I can still move a bit like that, I can now pet my cats while I'm asleep.