*One Day, In The Great Hall, Sirius Receives A Howler From Walburga Over A Recent 'rebellious' Act Of

*One day, in the great hall, Sirius receives a howler from Walburga over a recent 'rebellious' act of his.

Towards the end she belittles him with, "....I shall not hear of this disgusting behavior again, Sirius Orion Black. I will not stand for it anymore."

Having had enough and feeling spiteful, Sirius is quick to stand up in his seat and summon some parchment and his wand.

If a howler about his behavior was the only way his egg donor was willing to contact him, using his full name nonetheless, he should just bestow her with equal treatment.

"Mother dearest,

Having just received your, oh so kind, message I feel the need to respond promptly, and in turn. I would hate to keep you waiting, afterall. It has come to my attention that you find my behavior.... disgraceful? Maybe a bit, mhm, overwhelming for your feeble sense of character." Sirius spoke into the parchment, voice strengthening with each line. Pausing to add thought to his tone.

"Maybe a bit, mhm, overwhelming for your feeble sense of character." He added, pausing for effect. His voice sturdy, readying for what he was about to do.

"It's truly terrible, what a great shame you and the others like you bring to the name of the Most Noble and Ancient House of Black. I mean, so shallow minded and stuck in the error of you ways, you can hardly tell that your heads are farther up your own arses than most would think possible. I mean, the only thing rivaling it are the sticks. Those make you lot a gaggle of human kabobs."

Sirius' voice wavers into a chuckle. His tone leading more into an exasperated chiding throughout. Similar to one of that a decent parent uses when their child misbehaved in a hilarious, yet reproachful way.

"I mean, it only makes sense that I, Sirius Orion Black, as you so graciously chained me is the one with the 'disgusting and disgraceful' behavior here." His voice dripping with sarcasm as Sirius considers his next words, temper finally losing its patience.

"After all, I am Sirius. Orion. Black. My initials are quite literally 'S', 'O', 'B'. I'm a sob story waiting to happen apparently, but more that that. I, truly and evidently, am one Son Of a Bitch." Pausing to enunciate each and every word. Tone leaving his defiance and disgust plain and clear.

With little more to say to Walburga, Sirius seals up the parchment. And, with a few charms of his own, he ties his newly responding Howler back to the Black families owls' leg. Set to conclude his message with streamers of the Griffindor house colours shooting out.

He knew he would face consequences for his response later on, but still he reveled in the stinging joy of not buckling under the clear empty weight of his mother's love.

Smile, do not give her the reaction she craves. Be happy without them.

But still, behind his smile, Sirius hoped the consequences will stay his own. Thinking of his brother only a table or two away.

This has been a PSA.

You ever write something and think "Damn that's good." And then go back to read it the next day and it's not good at fucking all.

I get all giddy and happy like a 12 year old on Wattpad posting their first story, then going back to read it years later and visibly cringing.

Ao3 should have a thing where you could donate to good fic authors like- if I had electronic money I would definitely use it to give my favorite authors money

What would your theme song be?

My go to is, "Don't try suicide" by Queen.