This Is The Eternal Struggle.

this is the eternal struggle.

my neck hurts AND I'm gay

i just look at him and think, yeah, he's an ass man. tbh tho, i think he's an ass >> boobs but a thighs >>>> ass, he loves thighs, all day, every-day, the thighs are what he craves.

Do you think Luke is a boob or ass man? (Ass and thighs ofcourse)

i will not be explaining myself further when i say he is an ass man. no questions asked, ass and thighs are his thing, through and through.

don't get me wrong, he appreciates boobs (like all sane men) but nothing beats a good ass for luke. i just feel like he would love to grab your ass (out of bed and in it). i will be giving no further justification for this statement.

Luke sleeps like a starfish when he's alone. Taking up all the space in the bed without Roxy next to him but on a case you have to share a room with him. It only has one bed

okay, i wasn't entirely sure what ask to reply to since what i am about to give you is a combination of 4 (not 3 as i told you last night (whoops)) asks that you have sent in! i just kind of got carried away and this one-shot is just SO CUTE. i'm gonna leave the prompts i combined for this below and then there will be the one-shot

so please enjoy the chaos below

star-fishing

pairing; luke alvez x fem!reader

summary; luke helps you clean up after a fight with an unsub.

warnings; fluff, SO MUCH FLUFF, one-bed trope, description of injuries (and cleaning them up), reader is down-bad for luke, a little bit of teasing and kissing

“Ow,” You hissed softly as Luke gently ran the cotton swab across your forehead. The Unsub had got you pretty bad but you had insisted that the medics didn’t need to clean you up. Which meant that Luke was doing it now. He was wedged between your thighs as you sat up on the hotel bathroom sink. The first-aid kit was laid out next to you but he was focusing on cleaning the blood from your skin for now.

The hand holding the cotton swab rested against your head as he swiped away the blood while the other had a hold of your face, keeping your head level. Luke was so close to your face. You could feel his breath fanning across your cheeks as you tried to decide what to look at. The heat was creeping up your cheeks despite your best attempts to keep your bubbling feelings at bay.

“Sorry,” Luke muttered, “I’m nearly done,” He added, briefly meeting your gaze before he returned back to the wound. There wasn’t much blood left so now he was doing his best to disinfect the wound. It wasn’t as bad as it had looked at first which gave him a sense of relief.

“I could have done it myself,” You said after a beat of silence. You couldn’t tear your gaze off his face. His eyes were boring into you and his hand was so warm against your cheek. You were sure he could feel the heat that had rushed to them but you tried not to think about it. He didn’t even notice as you admired his face.

His stubble had grown in a little since he hadn’t had the chance to shave and it somehow made that rugged yet soft look more prominent. His lips were so full and kissable. Every part of you wanted to just grab his face and snog him, fulfil the urge that had been clawing its way to the forefront of your mind for weeks. The feeling of his stubble and his lips pressed against yours would make it so easy to forget everything, you were sure of it. But you had to fight the urge.

You and Luke were friends. That was all you had been and probably all you would be.

His cheeks were slightly red from the heat of the bathroom and his chest was resting so close to yours that you could feel the heat radiating off him. His skin was so warm, you could have melted into him. Your hands always seemed to run cold and you desperately wanted to shove them underneath his hoodie to warm them up but you didn’t. It was unprofessional and he would complain about feeling cold himself.

You averted your gaze from his face, letting your eyes rove over his shoulders and down his arms. Even in the hoodie, you could see how built he was. But Luke wasn’t like the other muscular guys you had known. Usually, they were arrogant and the muscles were purely for vanity. Luke’s at least served a purpose outside of boosting his ego. 

But what confused you was how gentle he was despite the muscles. When you first met him, years ago, you had expected him to manhandle you. If you got hurt, you expected him to be frustrated but he was always so gentle. All the strength he held turned to softness and he held your face so gently as he took care of you. It was so disconcerting and it was far from what you were used to when it came to men but it made you feel safe.

Luke made you feel safe.

That was probably why you spent so much time around him. It was easy to be around him because he was such a teddy bear when he wasn’t trying to do his job. It made it easy to talk to him. He was so easy to talk to and you didn’t know how to deal with the feelings that he gave you. You had told yourself that you would never mix work life and your love life but Luke made that so hard.

You felt his gaze shift and his eyes traveled over your face. He could see how nervous you had suddenly become and he nudged your cheek with his thumb. Your eyes jumped up to meet his gaze and smiled at home.

Luke chuckled softly before he pulled back, a hand still rested against your face as he flipped the cotton bud. He dipped the clean end into the bottle of disinfectant before he returned to the wound on your forehead.

“Your hands haven’t stopped shaking since you punched him in the face,” Luke stated. It took you a moment to realize what he was talking about. The Unsub. You scoffed, balling your fists. He was right even if you didn’t want him to be. 

You dug your nails into your hand, hoping that maybe it would stop them, “I just-” He paused as he adjusted his hand so that he could tilt your face up to make sure everything was disinfected properly, “don’t want this to get infected.” You rolled your eyes before letting them close. It was sweet that he cared so much.

“I nearly had him,” You muttered after a moment. He chuckled, looking at you and tilting your head slightly. In the fluorescent lights of the hotel bathroom, it looked pretty clean and so he dropped the cotton bud into the bin. His hand left your face and his body moved from between your thighs as he searched for an appropriately sized plaster in the first-aid kit. You unclenched your fists but your hands were still shaky.

“We’ll get him,” Luke reaffirmed as he grabbed a couple of band-aid options. He then stepped back between your thighs.

“I know. We got lucky finding him the first day here,” You said after a moment. Luke nodded and he began to compare plasters for your forehead cut. He tilted your chin slightly to make sure it was the right size and once he was sure, he dropped the rest of the options before he ripped it open.

“Would have saved us sharing a bed,” Luke muttered, glancing at your face to gauge how you reacted. You pouted playfully, cocking an eyebrow.

“Don’t pretend you’re not gonna love it,” You stated, a teasing smile on your lips. Luke chuckled and shook his head in disbelief. 

“Uh-huh,” He muttered softly. He shifted the band-aid on your forehead before deciding on the position. He then pulled the backing off and stuck it down against your skin. He ran his thumb over it, smoothing it down before he stood back.

“It’s beginning to sound like you want to be in bed with me, The great Luke Alvez never ignores a teasing comment,” You continued to taunt him as he checked over the rest of your face. Aside from the bruises and busted lip, you seemed to be mostly okay. There were no immediate cuts and you didn’t have a concussion

“How’s your lip?” He asked, avoiding your comment. You shrugged, your finger coming up to gently press against the cut. It was busted, it wasn’t great but it wasn’t as painful as you had expected. The pain mostly just blended into the background.

“Could be worse,” You shrugged. Luke nodded, “Just for the record, we are having a pillow wall. I’m only teasing,” You said. Luke smiled up at you, he tilted his head slightly as he looked into your eyes. Your eyes kept shifting anxiously, you were picking at the nails on your hand without even realising it, “And before you get an ego boost, I am only doing this because I didn’t have another choice.” There was a teasing lilt to your tone, a smile on your lips which completely contrasted the anxious movements of your hands. 

He chuckled at your comment, it was a deep chuckle and it made a grin crawl onto your face. It was hard to resist despite the pain that it caused your busted lip. It was such an easy laugh from Luke, you wanted to hear it forever. His hands rested at his side, a green hoodie covering his usual button-up. He looked so soft and domestic, it was hard not to admire him.

“You could have shared a room with Rossi,” Luke suggested. You scoffed and shook your head vehemently.

“No. That man snores. I can hear him through the walls, if I was in the same room as him, I would commit a homicide.” Luke chuckled again and stepped back to help you down from the counter. You let out a soft sigh. You were so tired but you felt so dirty. Sweat, mud and the smell of the local PD was clinging to you and you wanted to shower it off so badly.

“I guess you’re stuck with me then,” He teased. You huffed out, pretending to be annoyed but you really didn’t mind. Part of you wondered if Emily had set it up so that you and Luke had to share a room. Her, JJ, Penelope and Spencer had already confronted you about your possible feelings for Luke at monthly pasta night. So, it wasn’t a hard leap to make but you didn’t want to assume - or make a fool of yourself.

“Yeah but you’re not watching me shower so get out,” You said, shaking yourself out of your thoughts, “I know you’d love it but not tonight mister.” You felt a little awkward and clunky teasing Luke the more your feelings rose to the surface but you tried to keep it up. Your relationship was built on teasing each other and if you stopped, Luke would be suspicious. You were not gonna let that happen.

“Not tonight?” He asked, a mischievous smile on his face, “So another night?” He asked. You scoffed and smacked his chest playfully.

“Play your cards right and maybe,” You stated before you urged him out of the bathroom. He chuckled as he threw his hands up in mock defense.

“Okay, okay, I’m going.” You sent him a teasing smile before you closed the door behind him. Once you were sure it was locked, you stripped out of your work clothes and walked over to the full-length mirror. You had fallen pretty badly during your fight with the Unsub and there was already a pretty nasty (and massive) bruise blooming across your hip.

You gently prodded at it before you checked over the rest of your body. Except for a few bruises on your knees and arms from hitting the ground, you were fine. So, you switched the shower on and waited for it to heat up before getting under the spray. The warmth soothed your skin and you did your best to keep your hair and face out of the spray. You didn’t want the band-aid to peel off and by some miracle, you managed to not get it wet.

After scrubbing the grime of the day off your body, you got out of the shower and slipped a towel around your waist. The shower made you look a little more sane and you dragged your to-go bag from beside the door onto the counter so that you could change into your pajamas. 

Thankfully, you had packed the more modest pajama option for this trip so you were in long pajama pants and a comfy vest. You took your time going through your night-routine just so you could calm your anxiety. The thought of sharing a bed with Luke was obviously fine but it made you feel nervous and giddy. Nothing was going to happen but you hadn’t shared a bed with anyone since your last partner so it just felt strange. 

After taking a few deep breaths, you stepped out into the bedroom to find Luke star-fished on the hotel bed. His head was buried in the middle of the pillows and he seemed to be asleep. He wasn’t even under the covers so it was hard to tell if he had actually conked out or not. You also couldn’t see his face. He might just have been resting for all you knew. 

Either way, he was in his own pajamas. Well pajama pants. He had neglected to wear a top which you didn’t really mind; it was a good view.

“Move over,” You stated as you walked over to the bed. Luke’s shoulders shifted at the sound of your voice and he lifted his head, eyes opening groggily. Had he been asleep? You couldn’t help but chuckle softly. Clearly the day had taken it out of him, “I’m sleeping in this bed too,” You added. Luke let out something incoherent before he reluctantly shuffled over. His head buried in the pillows again and you couldn’t help but smile softly. He was so sleepy, it was adorable, “Lights on or off?” You asked after a beat.

“Off,” Luke grumbled. His voice was thick with sleep which just made you smile even wider. You had never seen him like this before and your earlier assertion that he was like a teddy bear only seemed to be more accurate. 

Before taking your place in bed, you switched the big light off and trudged back over. The room was plunged into almost complete darkness but you could still navigate your way around relatively easily. You dropped into your side of the bed and tugged at the duvet.

Luke was still half-asleep on top of the covers and his hulking form was making it very difficult to move the covers comfortably around you. You let out a groan of annoyance as you tugged a few times with no avail.

“Luke,” You whined as you tugged again. He grumbled something incoherent and rolled over. Well, that was helpful, “Luke,” You complained again, tugging harder but it did nothing. You let out a soft huff and got up onto your knees. You leant over Luke and poked his cheek. He grunted in annoyance before attempting to swat whatever was poking him. But you evaded and did it again. He mumbled something incoherent again and you poked once more. His eyes reluctantly opened and you chuckled.

“You’re hogging the duvet,” You stated. Luke looked up at you, leaning over him and his eyes blinked closed for a moment before he let out a grumble. He then grabbed your waist and tugged you on top of him. You let out a yelp as you landed against his chest, “I’m cold,” You muttered. Luke wrapped his arms around you, tugging you closer.

“I’ll keep you warm,” He muttered as he snuggled up to you. Part of you just wanted to give in to this fate. It was comfortable and Luke was a human radiator but your toes were cold and Luke was half-asleep. It felt like you were taking advantage.

So, instead, you opted to poke at his chest and face a few times as you said his name softly, asking him to get off the covers. It took him a moment but eventually he opened his eyes again. It was a split second but when he realized what he was doing, his eyes popped open. All traces of sleep disappeared from his features and he let go of you immediately.

“I did not- I didn’t realize- I-” Luke began, stumbling over his words as he shuffled to sit up against the headboard. You giggled at his flustered reaction as you crawled over to your side of the bed again, “I’m sorry- I shouldn’t have-” He continued to try and excuse himself but when he realized that you were laughing. His eyebrows furrowed, “What?”

“You really know how to woo a girl,” You teased. His eyebrows furrowed and you tugged the covers back, “I think you’re half-asleep self is better at flirting with me.” You knew that you were stepping into dangerous territory with that comment but you couldn’t help yourself. It was endearing to see him so sleepy and touchy and you were also exhausted which made you a little more bold than you would like to admit. Luke was stunned by your reaction, “Come on, let me get under the covers. I’m freezing and I’ll set up a pillow wall. Avoid any more half-asleep kidnappings.” Luke watched you for a moment before he finally moved, “But if you are gonna cuddle me in my sleep, I’m not gonna object.” You were acting so confident but your heart was thudding in your chest as you moved to grab a pillow.

But when you turned back, Luke was just looking at you. He didn’t seem to know what to say as he looked into your eyes. You tilted your head to the side slightly but just as you opened your mouth to ask him what was wrong, he had tugged you towards him again.

“I want to kiss you,” He stated. You stared at him, your eyes widened as he looked at you, “Can I?” He asked. You nodded your head and he grabbed your face, pulling you to him. Your lips connected so softly. He was being so cautious of your busted lip and you melted into him. He only gave you a few soft short kisses before he pulled back a little. You reopened your eyes to look at him and he looked completely love-struck.

“Do it again,” You urged as you moved one hand to wrap around his neck. He grinned and tugged you into his lap before kissing you again. It was so soft and he let you take the lead as you adjusted your body to get a better angle, not disconnecting your lips for even a second. You were right. His lips were so soft and they made it impossible to think about anything but the two of you kissing in that moment.

Your head tilted to the side as you kissed him over and over again, his tongue ran across your bottom lip and you let him in without a second thought. His hands moved from your face to your hips and he wrapped his arms around you, keeping you as close as he could. His tongue explored your mouth as you held his face, whining softly as your fingers ran through his hair. 

A groan escaped his lips when you tugged at his roots and you let out a breathless giggle. He smirked and opened his eyes briefly before he let them fall closed again. You tugged him closer, hand cupping his jaw as you continued to connect your lips. Your fingers scritched at the stubble and you felt how he melted underneath your touch.

It was exactly what you needed.

The two of you kissed till you were breathless and when you pulled back, you rested your forehead against his. Your breaths mingled together as you panted, arms moving to wrap around his chest as you gently nudged your noses against each other.

“If I knew getting in the same bed with you would get me this, I would have done it ages ago,” You mumbled. Luke chuckled, his eyes closing as you moved your hand to rest against his chest, feeling the way that his chest rumbled with laughter, “Mhm, the wait was worth it though,” You said after a beat. Luke tugged you closer.

“More than worth it,” He muttered as he pressed a few kisses to your face and cheek and forehead. It was so sweet and you felt yourself melting into him.

“I think it’s time to sleep though,” You mumbled softly. Luke hummed in agreement and he shuffled back so that he could lie down. You were laying on top of him as he tugged the covers over the two of you, “My hands are cold,” You grumbled. Luke chuckled and he grabbed your wrists and tugged your hands underneath his back. The two of you shuffled to be comfortable before he wrapped his arms around your waist again.

“Better?” He asked. You hummed in agreement before cuddling up to his bare chest, eyes falling closed. You fell asleep, content against his chest with a sheepish smile on your face.

Me looking at myself in the mirror at 3am after reading smut for 4 hours straight instead of sleeping:

i didn't know i needed this but i did?! i love reverse comfort and with frank? literal perfection.

i thank your past self for writing this absolute masterpiece and if you ever continue it, i will go feral <3

(please do a second part, i'm on my knees begging)

Battered and broken

Frank Castle x fem!reader

a/n: This is out of left field but I found this and had forgotten I had written it after a Punisher rewatch in Nov 2023. So I’m putting it out in the world because why not.

Warnings: actually no smut (I know, right?!), hurt/comfort, description of injuries.

Summary: You’re an ex-Navy corpsman (yes, they call women that too in case you weren’t sure) and Frank comes to you for help and some comfort. Takes place after season 2 finale. 3.3k words

The knock on your door is faint, you could have missed it if you weren’t so attuned to it. You close your book and place it on the coffee table as you stand up from the couch. You unconsciously tuck a stand of hair behind your ear as you reach the door. You take a deep breath before looking through the peephole.

No one looking back at you. Only the top of a man’s head, a ball cap, his face toward the floor of the hall. You can tell by the slump of his shoulders he is exhausted. You slide the chain back.

“Come in,” you say as you open the door. Frank steps in sideways, glancing up at you. You let out a gruff sigh. This particular beating looks worse than any you’ve seen yet.

“Hey,” he grunts at you. He tosses his cap onto the kitchen table and pulls a chair out. The feet scrape on the floor. He nearly collapses into it. His body looks so heavy, like gravity has gotten stronger, pulls harder on him than anyone. He runs his hand over his hair and leans forward, nearly puts his face in his hands but thinks better of it when his busted cheek brushes against his palm. He rests his elbows on his thighs and lets his head hang. You quietly close the door and slide the chain back into place.

Your bare feet are quiet on the tile floor but are the only sound in the silent apartment. He doesn’t look up as you approach him. You stand at his side and sigh lightly. You touch the back of his head, gingerly, run your fingertips down his neck. So far, the back of his neck is the only part of Frank not covered in blood. There’s some there too though. You make another pass, equally gentle, but with your entire hand from the top of his head to his neck and let your palm rest against him.

You’re standing close enough to him that he leans slightly against you, shoulder to thigh. You wish you could take the weight off his shoulders but you’ll happily accept any that he’s willing to offer, even if it is only to prop him up. It lasts only for a beat. He can’t share the load. It’s not pride or ego. It’s a mix of fear and compassion. When he straightens up you slide down to squat next to him. You keep your hand on him the whole time, some small comfort for both of you.

“Hi there,” you nearly whisper. You dip your head as you speak, finding his face, assessing the damage. “Hey.” You reach up and gently put a fingertip under his chin. He lifts his head, barely, and meets your eyes.

“Hey,” he replies. He is beyond exhausted and, this time, beyond beaten. You suck in air between your teeth and drop your hand from his chin to his knee. But you smile up at him sweetly, a closed-lip smile that spreads up to your eyes. He almost smiles back at you but winces.

“I’ll be right back, darlin’,” you tell him as you stand up. You hear him let out a deep breath. You straighten your pj shorts as you pad through the apartment gathering supplies. Occasionally you glance over your shoulder to make sure Frank is still upright. You run through the list in your head and as you circle back through the kitchen you snag a beer from the fridge.

You lean over the table and let some of the items fall from your arms as you use a foot to slide a chair out. You sit down while pulling your chair closer to Frank, face to face if he sits up straight. He hasn’t yet. So you line up your supplies and then crack open the beer.

“Here. Drink this.” You hold the open beer bottle in front of him. He finally looks up and slowly lifts his head. It looks like it takes all of his remaining strength to rase his arm to take the beer from your hand. He takes a swig of it and sets it and his arm on the table. He leans back just a little in the chair.

You turn back to the table and your supplies, grab a washcloth and the bottle of isopropyl alcohol. You want him to lean back if it’s comfortable so you stand and step between his legs. He takes another drink of beer and rests his arm on the table again. Then he looks up at you. You have the cloth in one hand, alcohol in the other, and a tightness in your chest from those deep, dark, haunted eyes. That particular expression always makes you ache to comfort him, relieve even the smallest amount of his agony.

“I don’t have to warn you, you already know how this hurts. I’m guessing this is the least pain you’ve felt today.” You smile down at him and push some of his hair back from his forehead with the back of your hand.

Frank’s eyes soften slightly as he looks up at you. You feel his left hand move from his leg to yours as he slips his fingers behind your knee, up the bare skin of the back of your thigh. He’s not going any further, only wants the contact with you, but your skin still breaks out into gooseflesh. His touch is gentle for such large, rough hands. You let out the breath you had been holding and dab the cloth against the mouth of the alcohol bottle. You start at his forehead and move your way slowly down his busted and bruised face until there’s no more white on the cloth.

He only winces a few times and never much more than a reflex and never opens his eyes. Only once did he involuntarily pull away, but his cheek is split wide open, even he couldn’t override his body’s response to the alcohol in the open wound. You hold the cloth away for a beat as his fingers reflexively grip your leg. Then you go back to your job. It hurts him but it has to be done.

“Thank you,” Frank mumbles as you step back to sit down again, his fingers trailing off your skin as you move out of their reach. You toss the cloth on the far side of the table and start to set up the first aid kit and a small bowl you fill with alcohol. You close the bottle and look at him while you unpack suture supplies, bandages, ointment.

“Did you finish it? Is Amy going to be safe?”

He nods. Just barely. Even nodding hurts.

“Do you know where she’ll go?” You doubt it. He doesn’t want to be a liability to the people he cares about. Not knowing is safer, easier.

“Nah,” he answers as he looks down at his clothes, examines his hands, turning them over to look at the palms. He takes a drink of his beer. “Nah, I gave her some cash and got her on a bus.” Another swallow. “Maybe she’ll make something out of her life. Good kid.”

“Yeah, she was,” you nod. “Just misguided. Happens to most of us.” You stand up again and slide some things on the table closer to Frank, gently taking his beer from his hand and setting it out of your way. You step back into your position between his legs and before you can begin he reaches up and holds your hips in each hand. He leans forward and rests the top of his head against your stomach. You run you hands over his shoulders, one up the back of his neck. You make soothing sounds but you never shush him. The last thing you want is to make him feel like he can’t say whatever he needs to. These sounds aren’t words as much as gentle humming sounds mixed with it’s-okay-s. The tender moment doesn’t last long. Frank raises his head and slides his hands down your legs. He’s not holding your legs, only resting his hands against them as his forearms rest on his thighs.

You both know this normally sucks but it’s going to be so much worse without a topical anesthetic. Not that this is unusual for Frank, but this split cheek is awful. You decide to do it first. You choose the smallest needle and thread from your medical kit, the best choice you have for facial sutures but still bigger than you want.

You look down at him, soft smile on your face, and find him watching you. A touch of adoration mixed in with the exhaustion.

“This is going to hurt like a motherfucker babe,” you warn him unnecessarily.

“Don’t drag it out,” he tries to grin in that cheeky way but it hurts too much. “Get on with it.”

So you do. Occasionally, you feel his fingers tighten on your legs but Frank’s overall reaction to these stitches is a narrowing of his eyes, small twitches in his lower eyelids, and muscles flexing in his clenched jaw. The apartment is so quiet that you can hear, as well as feel, the sutures as you stitch him up. Frank’s breathing has a rasping quality that you don’t like in the least. Your corpsman’s instincts run through the list of possibilities and, combined with the shallowness of each breath, you’re pretty sure he has some rib damage and maybe a few hits to the throat.

As you tie off and cut the thread you assess the other wound on his chin. That could use a few stitches as well. You go about cleaning your needle, threading it, and try not to be distracted by Frank’s fingers grazing a path up and down the outsides of your legs. He’s started to relax. The endorphins from the pain of cleaning and stitching are washing over his brain. His breathing has begun to deepen and slow.

You look back at him and tilt his face up to yours by running your fingertip up the line of his jaw to his chin. You work silently, this area less damaged but requiring a bit more concentration. After finishing these sutures you drop the needle in the bowl of alcohol. You assess the smaller cuts and splits on his face and deem butterfly bandages appropriate. You unwrap a few and start closing the wounds on his forehead, his other cheek, above the bridge of his nose. When you finish you lean down and kiss the top of his head and cradle the back of his head in your hands.

Frank’s hands slide up the backs of your thighs, over your shorts, to the small of your back. His fingers slip under the hem of your tank top to rest against your bare skin. Unexpectedly, he leans his head forward and you straighten with a little surprise but you don’t stiffen. You let him rest his forehead between your breasts. Through the thin fabric of your tank, his breath is warm against your skin. You gently pet the back of his head and then rest your hands just above his shoulders. His shoulders are shaking a bit, trembling actually. You don’t think he is crying but he’s processing a lot of emotions after a day like this.

You both stay that way for a moment, not too long, and he sighs loudly. You move your hands from his shoulders. When he looks up at you, his eyes are red rimmed but a little less exhausted.

“Alright big man, come ‘ere.” You take a step back and gesture for him to stand up. You smile broadly at him, encouraging him that he can do it, that there is enough energy left in him. Frank groans as he stands but grins at you sheepishly once standing. He rolls his eyes at your mock clapping, praising his effort.

You step closer to him again and the smile falls from your face. You dread seeing how much worse shape his body is in if his face was that bad. It can’t be avoided.

“I’m fine,” he grunts as you move your hands to the hem of his shirt. “I’ll be fine.” But Frank looks away from you and clenches his jaw, chewing the inside of his lip. He doesn’t have much fight left in him.

You continue on your quest and gasp “ouch” when you see his bruised torso. It would be a miracle if he doesn’t have a cracked rib, but it’s probably more like two or even three. You pull his shirt up to his chest and he acquiesces, raising his arms up to help you. He jerks the shirt over his head and his arms out of the sleeves and flings the shirt on the floor. Even his arms are covered in dark purple bruises. You want to soothe him, run your fingers over his injuries, but you only allow your hands to hover above him without touching.

Frank’s face is a mix of embarrassment, frustration, and anger. And it infurates you that the anger isn’t at who did this to him but at himself for being a “burden” on you. You put a mental pin in that discussion, saving it for a better time. He won’t even look at you at the moment so there’s no need to try. Your compassion builds from your stomach and spreads a warmth across your chest as you realize he is actually embarrassed. Does he think that you see these injuries as anything other than his sacrifice? They certainly are not evidence of inaptitude or failure. Surely he doesn’t think that. That conversation will happen sooner rather than later but not tonight.

“Hey,” you prod gently. “Hey?” You wait and Frank eventually turns to look at you.

“Hi there, Mister,” you say as his eyes meet yours. “There he is.” You gently touch his face in the one spot not cut open. “Stay here with me, would ya?”

He tries to return your smile but can barely manage it. He looks down but presses his face into your open hand. He is so epically tired. You glance down at his chest again and know there is nothing you can do with your limited first aid supplies to help him. Maybe wrap his ribs after he cleans up.

“You wanna just do what I tell you for a bit? No argument?”

Frank nods against your hand then straightens up and clears his throat.

“Yeah, sure, whatcha got in mind, doll?” His lips twitch into a lopsided smirk and you would have hit him playfully if there were anywhere to hit him that wouldn’t hurt. You smile at him before squatting in front of him to unlace his boots. No easy feat given how long the blood-soaked laces have had to dry. When you have them loose enough you stand up so he can toe them off.

You casually slide a finger into one of his belt loops and give it a light tug. “Come on big boy.” You flash him a quick smile before leading him to the bathroom.

You can feel him watching you as you walk. You always can. He is hypervigilant about everything but he seems to study your movements, your muscles, any time you move. He’s seen you in less clothing but you like the way your skimpy pjs leave some things to his imagination. Your brain shuts off those thoughts the moment you enter the bathroom.

Frank stops in the doorway and leans against the jamb. You work on readying the shower, getting the right water temp, clean towels. You nod your head in the direction of his pants. “Those. Off.” He groans as he straightens up but you hear his belt, then zipper, as he complies.

The two of you haven’t done this exact dance before but so many variations on it that he know you have to do this for him. He can object, occasionally you let him fall into bed untended to as long as you get his bloody clothes off first. But just as he trusted his corpsman when he was deployed, he trusts you. Marines’ habit of following corpsman's’ instructions is beneficial, especially these days.

You turn toward Frank and quickly survey the damage to his legs. Not as bad as you expected but not great. The bruise on his shin is worrisome but the rest look reasonable, given the circumstances. Your eyes travel back up his battered body to his face as you walk the short distance to him.

“You gonna leave your shorts on while you shower?” you tease. You smile only slightly to indicate that you’re teasing because you aren’t sure if he wants this tonight. Not sure if he wants to be alone, vulnerable and alone, instead of vulnerable with you. You slip a finger under the elastic of his boxer briefs and wait. Wait for him to signal his decision.

Frank raises a hand and tucks a stray strand of hair behind your ear. He focuses intently on you ear, then your cheek, then your lips, and finally your eyes. His hand lingers near your neck and shoulder, fingertips barely touching you. His eyes flit back and forth between yours, reading your face, thinking, deciding. You wait. Always will.

“Nah, easier to shower without them.” He is nearly expressionless as he says this, a hit of a smile at the corners of his mouth. Before you can get started “helping” him remove his shorts, he leans forward and presses his lips against yours. Not quite a kiss, yet. He’s tired. You press forward into his mouth with yours and he kisses back. His lips are slow, tender, and cautious, and not because of the cut on his lower lip. He always starts off that way. As if he were unsure if he will break you, if he will break, or if you will finally rebuff him. You’ve never sure. You slowly, gently encourage him by running the tip of your tongue across his bottom lip while you kiss him back. That does the trick.

Frank snakes his hand from your neck to the back of your head and entwines his fingers in your hair while pulling your mouth harder against his. It’s passionate but not urgent. Nothing tonight is urgent. But this feels amazing, as if he hadn’t kissed you ages or would never get to kiss you again. You feel lightheaded when he pulls back. His hand stays behind your head, thumb rubbing small circles on your neck.

You remembered your objective and start to get him out of his shorts but he stops you and slides them down, steps out of them, and walks to the shower. He almost grabs your hand as he passes but lets his fingers graze your palm.

“I’m here, Frank. I’ll be in the other room,” you announce as you walk out of the bathroom, “but I’m here.”

You busy yourself with cleaning up, putting everything back, anything that doesn’t go into the bathroom. You want him to have some privacy, safe privacy to breathe. You take a drink from his open beer and pick up his shirt and boots. So much blood. You can sort that tomorrow. He’s still showering as you put the chairs back in place under the table. You plop down on the couch, sitting curled up on your feet, and rub your brow. You take a few deep breaths and then another sip of the beer. As you set it on the coffee table you hear the bathroom water turn off. You pick up your phone from the table, check for missed notifications, then silence it. Frank walks out of the bathroom, towel wrapped around his waist, as you are placing your phone back on the coffee table.

“Feel better?”

He grunts affirmatively and smiles. He walks over to you and takes a drink from the beer. Before you really know what is happening, Frank lays down on the couch, barely fitting because he lay with his head in your lap.

(May be continued…)

i'm watching season 2 of punisher right now! although i'm rewatching it!

i'm glad i'm not the only one! honestly, season one is my actually baby. i love season one of the punisher so much but i have been putting off finishing season two for so long because i didn't want to let frankie go. but we're in this watch together.

honestly, i'm so glad i've watched this season now, i was on 2x09 earlier and i've now watched up to 2x12 and i have giggled and teared up at these episodes so much. its reminding me of my love for these characters and i just love this series sm <3

frank actually has my heart, i would go to war for this man, it's insane. i am not prepared for the last episode of this series even if i know i will be seeing him again in born again.

i'm not ready.