Hi, So Currently Im Not In The Right Mental State With Everything Piling Up On Me And My Self-depreciation.

hi, so currently I’m not in the right mental state with everything piling up on me and my self-depreciation. no, this doesn’t mean I’m going a hiatus again, but it does mean that I’m going to be post even less or slower now until my health returns to a sufficient state. hopefully you guys can understand, even though I already don’t post often.

wait r u requests open or closed? it’s says closed on the master list but open in ur bio?

oh my,, I’m so sorry for the confusion!! I must’ve forgotten to update my masterlist. the requests are open. thank you for raising my awareness to this error anon!

hi hi people that are following me!

wow, this has been a wild, wild journey. It’s been almost two years of me owning this account and posting my fanfictions on here. That fact is completely mind boggling to me. I can not express the immense gratitude I feel for everyone who supported me by following or liking or reblogging my posts.

In the past couple of years, my mental health was definitely going down a steep, rocky hill and writing and coming to tumblr was always my safe haven. I would spend my nights, and days, writing, to the best of my ability, out my emotions. I typed full fanfictions on my phone in the dark of night, when I was feeling down. I remember, on my family road trips, I would be sitting in the back seat, beside my sister, with the Google Docs app open, typing fanfictions to post on WattPad. My headphones always be plugged in as I worked on a new piece, music fitting my mood blasting in my ears. Honestly, I have so many precious moments of being a fanfiction writer stuck in my head that it makes me not want to do this.

Due to recent accumulation of work and stress, I haven’t been writing fanfiction. Not only that but I’ve been becoming increasingly insecure about my writing and not confident in my grammar and creativeness. With these burdens, I couldn’t help myself from writing anymore. As I read other peoples’ work, I noticed how unique, how special, their styles were. I’ve also been quite sad about my lack of mutuals, which the blame’s all on me. Since very young, I was socially discriminated for a immune system disorder that affected my appearance. This led to many confidence issues and my social abilities to be lacking.

Moreover, ever since I got rid of Instagram, I fell out of interest in Tom. I still support him, don’t get me wrong, but I just haven’t been as actively interested in his career. The past 5 years of being a dedicated fan have been a whirlwind of adventure and joy and some sadness. Becoming his fan opened my eyes to many new experiences that I will forever appreciate. I also wanted to say, TomDaya finally happened! I’m so glad those years I shipped them paid off, but I also did cut back on my shipping for reasons of respect, not that I have to cut back anymore!!!

Anyways, I wanted to say thank you to everyone who has been here for years or even just a couple hours for filling that empty hole in me and rejuvenating me into a happier being. I also wanted to thank @kelieah for trying to include me by adding me to a group chat, that I could never bring myself to join, and responding to me whenever I spoke with you.

It’s been a great almost two years, but I think it’s best for me to go on an indefinite semi-hiatus. If I were to ever return, that’d be for a momentary spur of inspiration or for Spider-Man: No Way Home. Yet again, thank you for your support.

Signing off for now, M. 🤍

p.s.: If you ever want to talk, slip into my inbox or chat on tumblr! Otherwise, I wish you all happy lives!

Are you going to do a part 2 to her hidden crystal tears?

because everyone is asking, there will be a second part to her hidden crystal tears, but the release date has not been settled yet. thank you for your support xx

so tom and zendaya?

OMO HAPPY 24th BIRTHDAY TOM!!! 🥳