Can You Please Write A Fic Where Thorin Falls In Love With A Human Girl, But He Thinks She Is Disgusted
Can you please write a fic where Thorin falls in love with a human girl, but he thinks she is disgusted by his looks? đ
Hi there, Nonny!! I know it took me forEVER, but here you go and i hope you like it! đ
The Harp

Summary: You and Thorin are friends, but then you find out his feelings for you run deeper, and heâs holding back because he feels he is not good enough for you.
Pairing: Thorin x fem!Reader (post-sack of Erebor, pre-quest for Erebor)
Warning: None. Just fluffy fluff
Rating: G
Word Count: 4.7k
***
He came into the dining room at the same time each evening and always sat at the same tableâthe one in the far corner, which was also the darkest corner of the room. He was polite, but kept to himself and you noticed how he always sat with his back to the wall and rarely did his eyes pause from scanning the room.
The other diners eyed him with just as much suspicion but then again, they all eyed each other with suspicion as well. It was second nature to this lot, as they came from all four corners of Middle Earth. No one was actually from Emyn Vanya. No, every warm body had come from somewhere else to this tiny village on the outskirts of everywhere and yet somehow in the middle of nowhere. Some came to start over. Some came to forget. Some came to do both and some were just passing through. But everyone was from somewhere else and almost no one wished to discuss where that somewhere else might be.
You couldn't help but notice him, for he was a dwarf and the Grey Gander did not see many dwarves in their dining room. And not only that, but he was a handsome dwarf, to boot, with black hair, touched here and there with hints of silver, that spilled over his shoulders in a long tangle of curls. His most striking feature was his eyes, however, for they were the most piercing shade of icy blue youâd ever seen. There was a hardness within those pale eyes, one belied by his polite demeanor and deep, if soft, voice.
Night after night, this man came in alone. He sat alone. He spoke to no one other than you when you approached to take his order, just as you did this evening. He was polite, if reserved, and spoke only when absolutely necessary, which was an interesting change from the patrons who grew louder and more opinionated as they dove further and further into their cups.
âWelcome back,â you said with a smile as you approached him. âMight I fetch you a drink to begin?â
âThank you. A tanked of ale would suit.â
âOf course. And do you know what youâd like or are you still trying to decide?â
He looked up at you with those striking eyes. âThe hunterâs stew.â
His order never varied and you were certain you could just bring him a bowl of the stew without asking, which was why you couldn't resist a bit of playing with him. âI think we should start calling that your usual. Perhaps we should change it on the menu itself.â
That earned you one of the dwarfâs rare smiles. âI am not so certain that is necessary.â
âWell, youâve been in here eight of the last ten nights and have yet to order anything different.â You couldnât help teasing him. You sensed a hint of sadness in him, one that might explain the hardness in his eyes. And while it was a bit of a risk, teasing this man you didnât really know, you had to admit, his smile made the risk worthwhile.
âBut,â you added, taking your teasing further than you normally did, âyou would have to tell me your name first. I certainly cannot ask to rename it Dwarf Stew. That would give the wrong impression, donât you think?â
A darkness flashed through his eyes and you knew youâd overstepped. Your mind raced as you struggled to come up with something to smooth over his obviously ruffled feathers, knowing your employer would be furious if your flippancy drove away a paying customer. âI mean⌠that is⌠I apoloââ
âNo,â he interrupted softly, shaking his head, âthere is no need to apologize. And youâre right, it would sound odd. So, I suppose then, it would only be fair to tell you my name, wouldnât it?â
Your heart beat a little faster at that. Perhaps it was but your imagination, but his voice sounded lower than it normally did. Lower and bit growlier. Had he, by any chance, noticed you the way youâd noticed him?
No, that was madness talking. Very few people noticed you aside from being their serving girl. You tended to blend into the background far too easily and since so many people in Emyn Vanya were only passing through, they paid little heed to you.
Still, that didn't stop you from replying, âIt would, yes.â
To your surprise, that earned you a laugh. A genuine, honest-to-goodness laugh and one that sent flutters through you as it rolled across the small table in your direction. Like his voice, it was low and silken, and those flutters made you forget your own name for a moment.
âVery well,â he nodded, his eyes meeting and holding yours, âI am Thorin.â
You offered your name in return and added, âItâs wonderful to make your acquaintance, Thorin.â
âAnd yours as well.â
Heat climbed into your cheeks and you ducked your head, saying, âI will be back in a few moments with your ale,â you hesitated, then added, âThorin.â
âI will be here.â
Thorin sat back as you darted off and couldn't believe his cheek. What had possessed him to even think to flirt with you? Your interest had to be only because he was a paying customer, because there was no way a woman as beautiful as you could possibly be interested in him.
The first time he stepped into the Grey Gander, heâd noticed you at once, noticed how easily you smiled and joked with the tavernâs patrons. Your laughter was a silvery melody that made everyone turn in your direction and smile even if they had no idea what it was that made you laugh.
He noticed everything about youâfrom that amazing smile and intoxicating laughter to your beautiful eyes and easy grace with which you moved about the crowded dining room. You never seemed impatience, or irritated, and even when someone gave you a hard time about something, you never lost your temper and somehow managed to defuse the most volatile of situations.
The second night heâd come in, heâd witness such a scene, almost reaching for his sword, propped against the table, when the giant of man actually grabbed you by the arm. He had no doubt heâd have intervened if you needed it, but you didnât. You smiled at the man as you peeled his fingers from your wrist and very sweetly informed him that if he touched you again, youâd turn him from a rooster to a hen in one fell swoop.
It was at that moment, Thorin lost his heart.
A foolish notion at best, as you would never feel about him the way he did you. Why would you? He was a dwarf. He had no home. He had been in line for a throne, but now supported himself by moving from place to place, taking work where he could find it.
That was what brought him to Emyn Vanya. His trade was blacksmithing and the village needed one. So, there he was, in the dining room of the Grey Gander, admiring you from afar and wishing he stood a chance at winning your hand.
It was just as well, for what did he have to offer you? A king with no kingdom was no better than a pauper, really. Not to mention, he certainly couldnât compete with the men of Emyn Vanya, who were all taller, slimmer, and far more attractive than he certainly was. You would be a fool to even consider him.
But, he watched you from afar, watched as you moved from table to table, how you brought a beaming smile to the face of an old crone, how you soothed angry children bickering over a toy, how you made a crying infant smile by making silly faces until they could do nothing else.
How you focused on him as if he was the most interesting man in the room and not, for lack of a better phrase, a homely, homeless refugee.
If onlyâŚ
He sighed as you approached with a tankard in one hand. His heart beat so much faster when you met his gaze. His mouth went as dry as the plains between his lost kingdom of Erebor and the city of Dale after the dragon Smaug torched it from one end to the other.
You set the tankard before him. âYour supper will be ready in but a few minutes, Mr. Thorin.â
Mr. Thorin. He smiled, shaking his head. âNo Mister. Thorin is just fine.â
âOh, well that wouldnât be proper now, would it?â Your eyes almost sparkled as your easy smile curved your lips. âAfter all, we only just met.â
âThis is true,â he nodded, reaching for the tankard. Then, on impulse, he added, âPerhaps you might join me one evening?â
You looked taken aback and he immediately berated himself silently. You fool! What is wrong with you?
But then you smiled. âI think I would like that. I have an off night tomorrow. Would that work for you?â
He was stunned, not only by your agreement, but by your suggestion. No woman ever approached him that way. Heâd always been the one to ask. You were bold and he admired that. So, he nodded. âThat would work just fine for me.â
âWonderful. What time?â
âHalf seven?â
âHalf seven it is,â you told him. âAnd Iâll be back in but a moment with your supper.â
****
What were you thinking? How could you just blurt out an invitation to him that way? He must think you a harlot, or a wanton woman for doing so.
But at the same time, as you smoothed a hand along your skirts, you had to admit, you looked so forward to seeing him without having to wait upon him. It was a nice change of pace for you. A break in the monotony of your life that was work, sleep, and more work.
Youâd told him where you lived, a rundown little flat above the floristâs shop, and at half eight, when the knock came at the door, you nearly jumped clear out of your skin. Then, laughing at your foolishness, you hurried to the door, before he thought youâd changed your mind and left.
You smiled as you pulled open the door. âYou are early.â
âI allowed myself extra time in case I found myself lost. Iâm still new to these parts and this town takes a bit of getting used to.â
âIf you remember the streets run east and west, and the avenues run north and south, you might fare better.â
He bobbed his head. âI would, but there are three florists on this street alone.â
âIt is a very competitive business in Emyn Vanya.â
âSo Iâve noticed.â
You hesitated a moment and then stepped aside. âCome in.â
As he stepped over the threshold, you tried not to dwell on how shabby your flat was, with its scratched and scuffed hand-me-down furnishings. After you paid your rent and made certain there was food on the table, there was not much money left for luxuries such as nice furniture. Normally, it didn't trouble you. This was your home and you thought it cozy, if a bit rundown. But, when you tried to see it through Thorinâs eyes?
You saw exactly how awful it must have looked to him. Threadbare sofa. The armchair had a hole in the cushion thanks to a broken spring, which meant that not only was stuffing peeping up from the hole, one received a nasty poke in the backside, should they think to sit there.
And of course, there was that awful water stain in the far corner. You had no idea from where it had come, only that no matter how much you tried to paint over it, it bled through. Youâd given up trying when paint fell into the luxury category.
But, he reached up for the frogs at his throat and then whisked his cloak off to drape over his arm. âThis is lovely.â
Lovely? You looked about, wondering exactly what he found so lovely about it. âItâs a bit⌠ah⌠worn, don't you think?â
âLived in, is how I would describe it.â He smiled at you. âHomes should be lived in. That is how they become such. Otherwise, they are but houses, flats, nothing more than buildings.â
You looked back at him. âLived in?â
He nodded. âLived in.â
Then he looked back at you and for a moment, you were rendered speechless. Did he have any idea whatsoever as to how handsome he truly was? Because if he did, he certainly did not act as if he did.
Of course, you kept that to yourself, especially when that night, a deep friendship was born. You had dinner together on the nights when you werenât working. You spent off days together, sometimes running errands with each other, sometimes just doing nothing. He had a knack for the acrostics printed in the village newspaper and the two of you spent your share of days or nights looking up which answers you thought would work. It didn't matter. He had quickly become your dearest friend and while you loved that, youâd also begun thinking that perhaps there was a bit more to your relationship than only friendship.
It was too bad heâd never given any indication at all that he saw you as anything more than a friend.
So you stayed quiet. Autumn gave way to winter and the Yule holiday was only a few days off when you made your way to Thorinâs forge at the northern end of town. A bitter cold wind whipped down the narrow alleyway where his shop was located and you didn't have to look to know you were near it. The carved wooden sign identifying the forge creaked on its hooks as it swung in the wind. Through the swirling snow, you could still make out the word etched into the wood.
Blacksmith
Beneath that word, Thorin had carved symbols as well, and when youâd asked, heâd smiled and explained that they were a language called khuzdul, which was his native language, actually. Heâd attempted to teach you some of it, and showed nothing but patience as you fumbled over seemingly simple words. Little by little, though, it became easier and left you wishing you had something like that to share with him.
But then you found something. One night, over several goblets of wine, he confessed that he once played the harp, but had lost his when heâd lost his home, but that was all he would say about either the harp or what happened to his home. So, youâd saved a bit of your pay each week and put it aside and then went to the music shop at the far end of town and found what youâd hoped would be a suitable replacement harp. It wasn't a big, grand instrument, as those were far beyond what you could ever hope to afford, but you hoped heâd like it the same. You couldnât remember the last time you were so excited and impatient to give someone a gift as you were this one, which was why you braved the worsening weather.
So there you were, at the far end of a gray-shingled building with a roof in need of repair, listening to the almost melodic sound of metal striking metal. The closer you drew to his workshop, the warmer the air grew and as you rounded the corner, a blast of heat hit you square in the face. It was a welcome sensation as your cheeks felt quite numb from the cold.
He had his back to you and heat shot through you at the sight of him, shirtless in deference to that blasted heat, the muscles in his back and along his shoulders bulging as he held a piece of iron in one hand, a hammer in the other. The clang rang through you when he brought the hammer slamming against the iron, again and again and you couldn't help but just stare.
Your eyes roamed over his naked back, heavy with obviously well-earned muscle, and inked with black lines of varying sizes that covered his entire shoulder, stretched across his back, and into the opposite shoulder as well. You had no idea what the symbols and lines meant, but they looked very similar to the ones carved into the forgeâs sign, so your guess was they were dwarfish runes or words.
The heat in the forge was brutal regardless of how cold it was beyond the walls. Sweat prickled along your back as you stepped closer. You didn't want to startle him. The iron with which he worked began with an orange glow, but slowly, as he pounded it flat, the glow faded and when he set down the hammer and used a pair of tongs to pick up the flattened piece and thrust it into a tub of water, steam actually rose from the tub.
âThorin?â
He jumped, letting go of the tongs as he spun around and now heat shot up into your cheeks at the naked chest you found yourself staring at. Like his back, his chest was just as broad, with black hair swirled from one nipple to the other and down across his belly. More symbols had been inked across it, meeting with the design on his left shoulder.
âI am so sorry,â you stammered, tearing your eyes from that impressive sight to meet his startled blue eyes, âI was trying not to startle you.â
âWhat are you doing here?â
You hugged the package close. âI had to go and pick something up and thought while I was out, Iâd stop by.â You peered around him, at the iron still resting in the water. âWhat are you making?â
âA sword.â He reached for the towel draped over the workbench and swept it across his forehead. âYou should not be in here. Itâs far too dangerous.â
âI will come no closer then. But tell me, who commissioned the sword?â
âNo one. It is mine. I work on it when Iâve a bit of free time.â
âMight I see?â
âItâs not even close to being finished.â He came around the bench and stood before you. His black hair was damp at the temples.
âYou don't have to stop on my account, you know.â You took a step closer to him, the urge to reach out and touch him so powerful, it nearly overwhelmed you. You wish you had the courage to tell him how youâd come to feel about him, as youâd had when youâd left your flat. Youâd left there full of fire and determined to confess your feelings for him, but unfortunately, by the time you reached his forge, that courage evaporated like the water in the tub had.
âIt would be rude of me to continue.â
âNot at all. I think it would be fascinating, watching you work.â
His gaze shifted slightly to his left and you followed it to see what he looked atâa heavy dark gray henley lay draped over a chair by his desk. Without thinking, you shifted the package to one arm and reached out to catch him by the upper arm as he stretched for his shirt.
âWait, donât,â you said, shaking your head.
âDonât?â
You nodded. âIâwhat is this?â You traced your fingertips along the thick black lines curving his shoulder, unable to believe your own brazenness but unable to halt your touch as well.
âItâs my⌠my⌠itâs a raven,â he managed, his voice deep and huskier than usual. He cleared his throat. âThe symbol of my clan, and my family crest.â
You could not keep yourself from tracing along those lines as little by little, the image of a raven wearing a crown slowly showed itself to you. Youâd held back from telling him how you felt for so long, now that the opportunity to perhaps go beyond friendship had presented itself and you were not about to let it slip by. But⌠you had to be careful. It was a delicate matter and that called for delicate handling. The last thing you wished to do was destroy your friendship with him.
With that, you lowered your hand âItâs lovely.â
âThank you.â
âThis is for you, by the by.â You pressed the package toward him. âI know Yule isnât for several more days, but when I went to pick this up, I grew far too impatient to wait.â
He stared down at it. âWhat is it?â
âWell, you have to open it to find out.â
He took the package and slowly unwrapped it and then just stared, his blue eyes growing shiny as he murmured, âHow did you know?â
âYou told me, silly.â You nudged him with your shoulder. âRemember? We were talking about how my neighbor plays the harpsichord and how awful it sounds and you told me you once played the harp. So, I asked Mr. Trumble if he could find me a harp for you and he did me one better. He made this.â
âHeââ those blue eyes met yours, wide and incredulousââmade this?â
You nodded. âHe did, indeed.â
He gazed down at the harp, and then back at you. âIâthisâthis is beautiful. I thank you.â
âThere is one condition to it, however.â You nudged him once more. âYou must play it for me.â
âOh, I couldn't now. Iâd be far too rusty.â
âWell, once you flake off all the rust.â
âFair enough.â He offered up a smile brighter than any youâd ever seen from him. âYou shouldnât have done this, though. Save your wages, donât spend them on me.â
âI didn't mind.â You shrugged as if you spent that kind of money all the time. âAnd itâs Yule, so it was but a small sacrifice.â
He stepped closer. âThis is the most thoughtful thing anyone has ever done for me, you know. I will treasure it. And you.â
And with that, he leaned in and to your surprise, pressed his lips to yours. You froze at first, caught by utter surprise, as this was the last thing youâd expected him to do. For one maddening moment, you wondered if perhaps you were just imagining it.
But then, his lips moved softly against yours and your toes actually curled in your sensible boots when he brought his hands up to cup your face, and you knew that this was, in fact, actually happening. And how wonderful it was! The sensations that rippled through you were soft and sweet, the crisp, coarse hair around his mouth tickling at first, but then you found you didn't mind it so much as it was a caress of its own.
Your head did a slow spin, his kiss leaving you lightheaded and when your hands came to rest on those massive upper arms of his, your fingers pressed into muscle that greatly resembled stone of their own accord. You were afraid your weak knees might buckle on you at any moment.
His kiss was slow and sweet, teasing and gentle and when his lips parted and his tongue swept gently along yours, your head spun even faster. A rush of heat swept through you. Your lips tingled. Your heart beat harder and faster and it took every bit of will you had to not melt right into his arms.
When he drew back, his eyes were soft, swirling with an emotion you couldnât quite place and he seemed as breathless as you were as he murmured, âIâve wanted to do that for a very long time now.â
âWhat?â
He nodded. âI do and I did and now I just want to do it again.â Then he paused, a hint of sheepishness creeping into his smile, into his eyes, âUnless, of course, youâd rather I didnât.â
âNo, Iâd not rather that at all,â you told him, smiling as you curved a hand against his cheek. âIn fact, Iâd like it very much if you would do it again. And again. And I think you should keep doing, no matter where we might be.â
A low chuckle rumbled up from the depths of his chest. âSo, I am not about to send you screaming into the snow?â
âHardly.â
âAre you certain? I mean,â he rubbed his bearded jaw ruefully, a sheepish smile coming to his lips, âI know people whisper about me and poke fun at me behind my back.â
âThey whisper about you because they are fascinated by you. And no one pokes fun at you. I know they think youâre quite an excellent smithy, judging by what Iâve heard. And I wonât even tell you what the women say about you.â
To your surprise, his sheepish smile faded and a darkness came to his eyes. âI can only imagine.â
âHave I said something wrong? I thought I was complimenting you. Do dwarves not like to hear how handsome they are thought to be?â
âHandsome?â He snorted as he shook his head. âThatâs kind of you, but Iâve seen my own face and that is not how Iâd describe it.â
âWell, perhaps you should but have Mr. Sinclair examine your eyes, for you are not only handsome, but very handsome.â
He stared at you, clearly not believing a word you said. âThank you, but you are just being kind, as youâve been since we met.â
âThorin,â you caught his hands in yours, âIâve been wishing youâd notice me as more than simply your friend, that youâd kiss me, and perhaps Iâve been too brazen in taking the first step. If you wish me to leave you alone, I will.â
âLeave me alone?â His eyes went wide and he shook his head once more. âNo, no, I donât wish that at all. In fact, Iââ
A scarlet flush swept up into his cheeks and he went quiet. You waited for him to continue, your heart hammering away at your ribs. All you wanted was for him to pull you into his arms, to tug you flush against that massive chest, and kiss you until you forgot your name.
âYou what?â you asked softly.
âI lied. About the sword.â He smiled then. âItâs for you, actually. For Yule. I meant it to be a surprise.â
âFor me? But I don't even know who to wield one.â
âWorry not, for I will teach you. When the weather breaks.â
âYou did this for me? You would do that for me?â
He nodded. âI would do anything for you, you know.â His eyes softened then as he smiled. âI love you.â
This was the last thing you ever expected him to say and you could only stare at him for a long moment, as your stupid brain forgot how to process words. The best you could muster was a whispered, âWhat?â
âI love you. Iâve been wanting to tell you for some time now, but how could I when I thought you would be embarrassed to be courted by me. So, I relegated myself to knowing we would only ever be friends, but nowâŚâ
âEmbarrassed to be courted by you? Are you mad, Thorin? Are you absolutely and completely mad? Because you would have to be to think any woman alive would be embarrassed to be courted by you.â You shifted to wind your arms about his neck. âAnd no one has ever made something for me. At least, not something as beautiful as a sword. So, if I didn't already love you in return, I would have most definitely fallen at this moment.â
He smiled. âSo, all this time, it wouldâve only taken a sword to win your hand?â
âIâm a very simple woman, Thorin. You should know that by now.â
Your heart skipped a beat as he eased his arms about your waist, pulling you flush against him. He leaned closer, his lips just brushing yours as he murmured, âIâll keep it in mind.â
You tried to think of something witty to reply with, but then his lips met yours once more and rendered words unnecessary.
***
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Step one: Live a regular life. Go to school, graduate, and try to go for a Ph.D. that gets you working near genetically modified insects for just the right amount of time for you to become careless enough to let one crawl onto your backpack, take it to your apartment, and let it sting you. Throw in some negligence, forfeit going to the hospital, and go on about your afternoon. Warning, some side effects like loss of consciousness or intense headaches can be expected.
Step two: Congratulations! Youâve now become a super-powered person with abilities that range from climbing walls and performing gravity-challenging parkour to creating a sticky web-like element that helped you swing from one building to another. Toy around with your new talents, and grow comfortable with them before realizing that you can actually use them to be the much-needed help your city needs.
Step three: Turns out youâre not the only one with this kind of ability out there. Thereâs a whole Spider-Society full of similarly enhanced people who try and do their best to keep their own dimensions safe, and youâve not only caught their eye but have actually been invited to join them. Let your new guide Jess Drews show you around, and explain all the benefits that come from joining a team such as theirs. If you decline, you can go back home and thatâll be all.
If youâre interested, itâll be necessary to convince the leader but they could use some extra help so it shouldnât be particularly hard. It sounds like an amazing chance. Information you wouldnât have access to otherwise, mind-blowing facilities where you can polish your newly acquired abilities, possible new friends that actually know what youâre going throughâŚSay youâll think about it. Right as youâre about to leave, the most fucking gorgeous man youâve ever seen in your entire life walks past without paying either of you any mind, busy while speaking to another Spider-Person. You ask who that is, turns out heâs the aforementioned leader, âwill I ever have to work with him?â, you ask. âProbably, eventuallyâ Replies Jess. Ask when you can start.
Step four: Do your best to earn your place in this elite group. Successfully improve your fighting skills, read everything available on interdimensional traveling and the multiverse. Understand it almost instantly because thatâs how smart you are, kudos to you. Realize that for some reason, despite never actually interacting with you, Spider-Society leader Miguel OâHara tends to stare. A lot. Is it because youâre progressing as fast as Jessica says or because sheâs a complete liar and youâre actually doing it all wrong? No idea. All you know is that even during mundane scenarios like laughing in the hall with all the newest additions to the team or in line at the cafeteria, you feel a certain tingle in the back of your head that makes you turn around. Of course, the moment your eyes meet, he turns around and leaves. An odd one, yes. But youâve also heard things. Rumors, here and there about his life before creating the Society. Whispers about a lost family and some video archives being the only evidence that they even existed in the first place. And, of course, the fault he had in the destruction of their dimension. You sympathize with him, despite his apathetic attitude towards you. Youâve seen him interact with those heâs closer to, and you know thereâs more to him than he lets on. Youâd be elated if he ever let you take just one look at the smidge of his old self that sometimes peeked out from behind the iron curtain. Well, not really. One look wouldnât be enough. If anything, it would only cement your feelings for the man.
Step five: Curiosity killed the cat. We all know that. You know that. And yet, you decided to go snooping around Miguel OâHaraâs computer and personal files until you accidentally switch his computer on for long enough to let the videos heâs always watching start playing. HeâŚhis daughterâŚan entire lost life gone before his eyes. Then, before you could do the right thing and turn the computer off, an eerily familiar voice called at him from behind the camera. So, of course, you had to keep watching. Long story short? All those oddly constant stares, that coldness towards you, unwillingness to look you in the eye, was because of two reasons: first, you were a nearly identical interdimensional variant of the wife heâd lost in the dimension he unwittingly erased from existence. Two, as heâd confessed after realizing youâd found out about the truth, Miguel had come to terms with the fact that he was in love with you, not as a replacement for somebody from his past but as a new presence in his life that heâd been struggling to watch from afar, unwilling to let all his repressed feelings spill out like water from a broken dam. Until that night, of course.
Now, eight months later, youâd come to realize there was actually a sixth step youâd never actually considered until now that you were in thisâŚsituationship.
Step six: Uncomfortably avoid every and all circumstances in which interdimensional disparities and canon consistency regarding your relationship could come up. Donât say anything like âWell, itâs been nice but Iâve got to go back to my own dimensionâ because that would remind him that his dimension was not yours too. That you were after all still a stranger in a strange land. Which of course also meant never inviting him to stay in your dimension.
Deep inside, you knew that all those details would eventually cause problems, especially regarding the inner conflict Miguel was always dealing with knowing what he was doingâŚwhat you were both doing, went against his strongest principle. But by God he was happy. Happier than heâd thought he could ever feel again. More than he deserved. So he just ignored those intrusive thoughts and focused on whatever task was at hand. And you were too. Even after just eight months, life without him already seemed unimaginable. He was your first thought in the morning and your last before you went to sleep, and more than once his presence beside you had been not just a figment of your imagination, but a part of your reality as you felt his strong arms wrap around your waist and pull you closer whenever you strayed too far from him in bed as he groggily whispered, âÂżY a dĂłnde crees que vas, preciosa?â, Or when he buried his nose in the crook of your neck, lining it up with soft kisses that sometimes ended up in both of you being late for your assigned tasks. With so much on the line, you were more than happy to avoid those spiky subjects. It seemed like such a small price to pay with all you were getting in return.
You werenât sure of where all this was going, but none of that mattered. Right now, you were together. Inside the Spider-Society you were a great team and each one was a valuable asset. Outside, every second spent in your arms was enough to make him forget Spider-Man. To you, he was Miguel and nothing more. And that was all you needed.
Life was good. You were happy with the way things were. Until, as it usually happens, a necessary disruption came quite literally crashing into your life in the shape of a fifteen-year-old that carelessly swung around a corner and crashed into you after youâd been chasing him like the rest of the Spider-People after receiving Miguelâs message.
âMiles?â You asked, recalling his name, which youâd actually been hearing for quite some time since the circumstances of his existence started being a problem for your boyfriend. The boy didnât answer. He just looked at you, his eyes filled with confusion and fear until you hesitantly took a step aside to leave the escape route open for him. If anything he looked even more baffled, but when the noise of his pursuers reached your ears he rushed down the hall and you lost him after he took a sharp turn.
Before you could be spotted, you ran in the opposite direction and hid around a corner as you tried to call Miguel on your watch. Of course, it was in vain. Well, Plan B. Fortunately, this time you did get a reply.
â(Y/N)?â
âPeter! Yes, itâs me! Where are you?â
âWhere do you think? Iâm going after him like everybody else. I need to get to him beforeâŚsweetie, please just get back in there, Daddyâs on the phone right nowâŚI need to get to him before- â
âHeâs already left the headquarters,â You informed him.
âWait, you saw him?â
âAbout a minute ago. He was on his way to the North exit.â
â(Y/N), are you sure you should be a part of this chase right now?â
âWhy not? Jessica is there, isnât she?â You replied, smiling to yourself. Good old Peter B., looking out for you like some sort of self-appointed brother figure.
âWell yeah, but sheâs not running, kid. Although I donât think she should be on one of those death machines either, I donât what sheâsâŚâ
While he kept on rambling for a bit, you looked around and wondered if youâd ever seen the building this empty.
Empty.
Your eyes slowly ran along the pearly white walls until they landed on the hallway that led to the room where the Go Home Machine was kept. Practically unchecked, if Spider-Byte had joined the pursuit.
âP.B., Iâll talk to you later,â You absent-mindedly replied, hanging up on him without waiting for an answer as you dashed down the hallway.
You kept thinking about that poor kidâs eyes. After having all that information unloaded onto him, instead being given enough time to somewhat process everything he now had to escape from the very people he was supposed to feel safe amongst. When he sat on the floor right in front of you right after the crash, he was sure you would immediately hand him over. Maybe a few months ago you wouldâve done it without hesitation but nowâŚthings had changed.
There it was. The Go-Home Machine. You thought you saw a purple blast inside that let you know Byte was still there. However, if your theory was correct, Miles would have to go through that hall and therefore, you. A few minutes later, a sudden voice booming from your watch startled you.
â(Y/N)!â
âMiguel? Where are you? Iâve been trying toâŚâ
â(Y/N), listen to me! Miles lured everybody out on purpose, heâs trying to get to the machine. I can see your location back at the headquarters and he should be coming your way in less than a minute!â
âAlright. Iâll handle it.â You replied, ending the call before he could ask you to elaborate on that.
Sure enough, light footsteps came in your direction shortly after. Right as Miles entered your field of view, an alert issued by your watch made your stomach drop and a dreadful feeling fill your chest. However, youâd made up your mind. There was no going back now.
Mile spotted you at the end of the hall and stopped in his tracks. His eyes were determined, not as afraid as a few moments earlier. If he was there that meant heâd somehow gotten past Miguel. You fought back a smile when you wondered how pissed heâd be about it. Having his ass kicked by a teenager was something that, maybe under different circumstances, you could tease him about.
âHeâs a delight, isnât he?â You finally spoke, trying to somewhat lighten the mood while taking a step toward the kid. However, he got in a defensive stance, furrowing his eyebrows in distrust.
âItâs okay, Iâm not going to hurt you, I just want to talk.â You assured, showing him both your hands, âMiles, listen very carefully. This is exactly what Miguel was talking about a while ago. At this very moment. Right now, Iâm supposed to stop you from getting to that machine and handing you over,â
Of course, he took another step back.
âMiles Iâm not going to do that,â You assured him.
âWhy not?â He immediately asked, constantly looking behind him, wondering if this was just you trying to stall him like, unbeknownst to you, he thought Peter had tried to do a while ago.
âBecause Iâm sure thereâs a better way to go about all this. I love him so much, I do, but heâs so afraid that I donât think heâs willing to see other possibilities and by the time he does, it might be too late for you. Now go before anybody else gets here.â
You didnât have to tell him twice. Miles darted past you as soon as you finished talking, taking a second to look back before reaching the dimly lit room where his ticket home was. His eyes scanned your face and darted down for one second before he looked up at you, a new worry in his eyes that had you wondering whether his spider-sense was strong enough to perceive something youâd just found out yourself.
âAre you going to be okay?â Miles asked, his eyes looking down for a moment once again. Did he know? Did he mean âyouâ as in just you or as inâŚ?
âYes, donât worry. Now get out of here.â You insisted. With one last hasty âthanksâ, he ran into the room as your left in the opposite direction. You werenât worried about Spider-Byte. She was a good kid, and sheâd do the right thing.
The right thing. What did that even mean anymore?
Youâd deal with the moral implications later. For now, as you found yourself on the other side of the headquarters, your mind was set on finding Miguel. Maybe you could try and talk some sense into him, make him reconsider whether this wasâŚ
âWhat the hell was that?â
By now youâd gotten used to Miguelâs habit of sneaking up on you. Usually, hearing his voice coming out of nowhere brought a smile to your face. This time, you closed your eyes and winced as you felt his presence behind you.
âDonât even try lying. I know that voice you used in the call. The one for when youâre about to ignore whatever order Iâm about to give you, so I checked the cameras.â
âMiguel, IâŚâ You began to explain yourself just to be harshly cut off.
â(Y/N), what were you thinking? Do you realize what you just did? Do you have the slightest idea of the consequencesâŚ?â
âI do realize that you just asked a fifteen-year-old child to stand by and let his father get killed right before calling his existence a mistake, Miguel. What were you thinking?â
âI was thinking of our safety, and that includes Milesâ. Youâre right, heâs a kid and that means heâs selfish and immature enough to endanger everything weâve all been risking our lives to protect for years.â
âMiguel, listen to me,â You insisted, âYouâre scared. I know. I am, too, but have you ever considered that maybe thereâs another solution? Do we even know for sure that allowing the kid to go and try to save his father is going to cause any real damage?â
âWhat if it does? Are you just going to tell me âSorry, Miguel, you were rightâ and thatâs all? (Y/N), Dios mĂo, piensa. Gwen said the same thing but we couldnât trust her with being objective because heâs her friend,â
âWait, what do you mean couldnât?â You asked. Miguel clenched his jaw and turned away, unable or unwilling to look at you.
âMiguel, please tell me you didnât send her back. Not with how she left things back there,â
His absolute silence told you everything. Shaken, you took a step back.
âWhat is wrong with you?â You hissed the disappointed look in your eyes hurting like a sharp dagger to his chest.
â(Y/N), mi amor, Iâm just trying toâŚâ
âYouâre such a hypocrite,â You angrily spat out, âYou go around preaching about how important sticking to your stupid canon is and the delicate balance of the multiverse when you know damn well that what weâre doing goes against every single one of those things,â
âNo, no, thatâs very different,â Miguel disputed,
âHow is it different?â You argued back, boldly moving closer to him wishing you were taller so you could face him, âIâm from another dimension, there is no way that we were supposed to meet from the beginning. You had your world, this world, and when you tried to live another life in a different one, an entire dimension was destroyed. I had my world, and for all I know maybe there was somebody there that I was supposed to meet but thankfully I ended up here first so I could meet you. But you know what? My universe is fine, yours is too and I swear I had never been happier in my entire life.â
âYouâre right.â He muttered in deep thought.
âYes, I am. And maybeâŚâ You started to say, a relieved smile tugging at the edges of your mouth until he looked up and the expression in his eyes made your throat dry up.
âWeâve been messing with fire all this time. There is probably somebody you can be with without endangering your entire dimension. And thisâŚthis is the hand I was dealt and I should just accept it and live with it. Youâre right. Maybe this was all a mistake from the beginning.â
âNo. No, come on, you donât mean that.â You shook your head in denial, lifting both your hands to cup his face in your hands, to bring him close like he had done the night you finally could let all the love you felt for him escape its confinement in your chest.
Miguel grabbed your hands before you could touch him and moved away from you before releasing them as he finally built up the courage to look you in the eye.
âAre you serious?â You asked, your voice quivering with anger as you felt tears begin to dwell in your eyes, âSo thatâs it? Youâd rather sacrifice us than find a different way to solve this?â
âWell, what did you think was going to happen, (Y/N)? That this would go on forever and weâd keep pretending everything is fine and that you donât have to wear a fucking machine on your wrist every time you come to see me because even the cells in your body know you were never supposed to be here?â
âOh, right, so you expect me to believe that you always knew this was going to be temporary? Then what was this? Something to take the edge off after a rough day until you decided it was time to stop fooling around and just be done with it?â
Deep inside, you knew what his response was going to be, but every inch of your heart silently pleaded for you to be wrong. To pull you into his arms and apologize for trying to send you away and promise that youâd get through this because you loved each other and that was all that mattered.
âI donât know why you thought it was anything else,â
For a minute, you wondered if this was all actually happening. Maybe this was all a nightmare fueled by all the training simulations youâd gone over lately, and youâd wake up crying just to find Miguel asleep next to you, his wide back slowly rising and sinking with every calm breath he took. Your crying would wake him up and heâd furrow his eyebrows and ask what had happened.
âI had a nightmare, thatâs all,â Youâd say, wiping your tears off and trying to downplay it. But he knew better. He always knew better. He would pull you close and bury your head in his chest, placing a kiss on top of your head while warning you that he was the only one allowed to have nightmares because otherwise heâd have to start comforting you too and neither would get a full night of rest. And you would laugh softly as you drifted off, lulled by the warmth of his chest and his smell of sage lotion and cheap fabric softener.
But no. You were very much awake, and instead of comforting you with promises and reassurances, he was walking away from you after delivering the final blow to your heart.
Since he had his back turned to you, you felt free to let the repressed tears freely fall down your face as you helplessly watch him go until he disappeared around a corner. All of a sudden, you felt as if the walls of the headquarters had begun to close around you to asphyxiate you, and the sound of the returning Spider-People made you realize you didnât want to be there for one more second.
Thanks to your watch, you were back âhomeâ in a few seconds.
âHomeâ. Your empty apartment where youâd lived alone for years. Where heâd never set foot, and at least in that way it was free of his memory. Or so you thought until you looked over your shoulder at the ajar bathroom door. Inside, atop the porcelain sink, still rested the positive pregnancy test youâd left there before having to rush over to the headquarters to help with the latest anomaly.
That memory felt so distant now. As if it had happened years ago, in a different life. You suppose in a way, it did belong to another life. A life that was over now.
Numbly, you made your way toward the ragged sofa, collapsing on top of it as soon as you were close enough. It was only then that the full weight of the last day and a half sank in and, as you gently wrapped your arms around your stomach, you let the tears fall until your throat burned, the dusty cushions muffling your broken sobs.
âIâm sorry, I donât think I heard correctly, you did what?â
The seriousness of the situation was enough for Peter to fasten a small strap in Maydayâs baby carrier to make sure she wonât go anywhere for a few minutes as he waited for his friendâs platform to reach ground level. He couldnât be chasing his toddler around and ripping Miguel a new one at the same time.
âI did what I had to do. Itâs for her own good,â
âRight, because youâre such an arrogantâŚâ He paused to carefully place his hands over Maydayâs tiny ears, ââŚsuch an arrogant dick that you think you know whatâs best for everyone, including a fully grown, intelligent, woman like (Y/N)â
âShit, Parker, do you think it was easy for me?â Miguel uttered, pinching the bridge of his nose before resting his face against the palm of his hand, âWhat I said about this being the hand I was dealtâŚI donât know how Iâm supposed to deal with that. Hell, I donât even know how Iâm going to keep myself from showing up at her dimension to try and get her back here the first chance I get.â
âAnd why would you have to keep yourself from doing that?â Peter asked patiently. It sounded like a better alternative to âMiguel, I love you man but I swear youâve got the emotional availability of a tree stump. Beats me how (Y/N) was able to get you to admit your feelings without prying your chest open with a jigsaw to see your pounding heart for herself.â
âShe was right. We were never supposed to meet in the first place. Not like this. Itâs notâŚâ
âMiguel, I swear if I hear the word âcanonâ even once in this conversation Iâm going to drive my head through a wall,â
âJust because you donât take anything seriously doesnât mean everybodyâs the same,â Miguel hissed back.
âThatâs where youâre wrong. Last time I didnât take something seriously, I ended up just like you will unless you get your priorities sorted out. Alone, and regretting not focusing on what was important,â
âThis is important,â Miguel stubbornly argued.
âMore important than what you had? Look at yourself. Just forty-eight hours ago you were as happy with (Y/N) as youâd been for the past eight months. And as happy as Iâve been with Mayday and my wife who, by the way, wouldnât even be with me if it wasnât for that kid you just called a mistake. And do you see my dimension going up in flames? Or yours? Or hers?â
Unable to find an argument against that, Miguel remained silent, his eyes fixed on an empty spot on the wall in front of him.
âListen, I know youâre afraid. You donât want her to get hurt, but if you love her as much as you claim to, then youâre taking the choice of a coward right now. And you canât afford to be one, especially now.â
âEspecially now?â Miguel inquired, turning to look at his friend who, much to his surprise, pressed his lips together as if heâd made a mistake and instead focused on getting Maydayâs hair out of her face.
âMy point is; I know you well enough to know you worship that woman. And she thinks youâre pretty decent too. And I can tell you from experience that youâre going to regret it for the rest of your life if you let this come between you.â
Not knowing what else to add, Peter gently patted Miguelâs shoulder before leaving the room, hoping heâd given him enough to think about. Hopefully, enough to make him change his mind.
Meanwhile, Miguel hadnât moved since Peter left the room, mulling his words over.
Two, particularly, had stuck with him for some reason.
Especially now.
Me zoning out trying to figure out what fictional romantic scenario I wanna escape to in that moment











MARGOT ROBBIE The One Show (July, 2023)



⨠Crosshair & Liâora Paayu â¨
Doing an Art Trade with an amazing gal, @wenalena â¨đ
Heâs the type to give his beloved one sniping lessons so they can fend for themselves. đŻ
Shout-out to Ao3 for not only being transparent in the work they're doing to try to get the site running, but for IMMEDIATELY calling out any islamophobia. They're doing fucking WORK rn, all on a volunteer basis, and while most of the comments I've seen are far and away supportive I just know whoever is in charge of their socials is watching the comments section unfold with a migraine.
Anyway this is all to say I love Ao3 and the people working on it rn are dealing with absolute chaos, so the next time someone throws out a line about "why do they need a fundraiser every year" please remember today.