“i could be your lover on a leash”

229 posts

Crooked Memory

crooked memory

genre fluff, angst, major character death, mentions of blood

tags gojo satoru x reader, biker!gojo

summary gojo satoru loves you so much.

wc; 1.3k

reblogs would be appreciated, please do not plagiarise my work, or share it on any other social media platform!

Crooked Memory

you would risk absolutely anything to see your boyfriend — the boyfriend your parents forbade you from dating, the boyfriend everybody told you was a red flag, the boyfriend even you told yourself to not fall for. but god, was satoru gojo irresistable.

the sweetest boy you had ever come to discover in this short life of yours. how the loving words he told you melted off his tongue like honey, how his arms embraced you like a soft blanket, how his eyes were the most alluring sight to fall for. he was dream, and he was yours.

light taps against your window turn your head suddenly, to notice your boyfriend outside your house, looking up at you with another pebble in his hands.

“hi baby!” he cheers, and drops the pebble, beginning to climb his way up to your room as you open your window.

“you’re not supposed to be here, what are you doing?” you walk backwards, letting him into your bedroom.

“i wanted to see you, but your parents won’t let me in.” his smile blinds you, and he closes your window quietly. he takes off his shoes, and crawls into your bed.

“hey, i just changed the sheets, at least wear the sweatpants you left here.” you whine, and open your drawer, taking out his clothes for him to wear.

he smiles at the thought of you having his things, the thought of him being a part of you, everything of him is part of you. he can’t define himself without you. the girl who makes him who he is.

“okay, baby, anything you want.” he gives you a longing kiss, before changing into appropriate clothes.

the two of you curl up in your freshly changed sheets, smelling exactly like you. he lays on your side of the bed, which you allow because you know he loves the smell of your hair on the pillow. you’re facing each other, his hands trailing your face, and yours in his hair, a moment he wishes would never end.

“how’d you get here, i thought your parents weren’t letting you out of the house.” you finally speak.

“i snuck out! i found the keys to my motorbike and just got here.” oh, how this boy would do absolutely anything for you — he was smitten. he would walk naked through a blizzard if it meant getting to you.

you held his entire heart, his entire being belonged to you and you only — and he never forgot to show that. how could he? you consumed his existence, every waking thought of his was devoured by you. a world without you was a world without him.

“what are you gonna do if you get caught?” your eyes widen in panic, excuses of what to say flourish in your mind.

“don’t worry i won’t get caugh-“ the door opens, and satoru sees your parents, seething. he looks on your side of the bed, only to see that you’ve vanished, and reality slaps him in the face.

you’re gone.

“what are you doing here? i thought we told you to never show your face again!” your father lifts the poor boy up by his sweater, the sweater you got him for his birthday, and satoru worries that it’ll tear.

“honey, please let him go, don’t hurt him.” your mother interjects, pulling him away from satoru’s neck, to which he releases a gasp. “you need to leave, sweetheart. you can’t just sneak into our house like this for no reason.” she tries to reassure satoru kindly.

“i came here for y/n.” he feels the tears well up in his eyes, his bottom lip trembles as he tries to conceal the cry for help that’s about to explode on his expression.

“you know damn well she’s not here. and it’s all your fault you fuck-“ your father starts, and your mother places her hand on his chest.

“we know you miss her satoru, we do too. what happened to her was horrible for everyone, but you need to go home, we spoke to your parents, they said you weren’t leaving the house.”

satoru suddenly remembers everything, how he made you sneak out one night with him to go on a motorbike ride, the rides your parents always hated you going on. but you had done it millions of times before then, so you left, helmet in hand.

he remembers everything so clearly, how you begged him to stop going so fast, how it was too scary, and how he laughed and just said to hold on tight. he remembers your arms around his waist, how strong of a grip you had around him — he remembers how cold it was that night, the wind and the rain soaking your outfits. he remembers the oncoming truck and your screams before everything goes dark.

he remembers gaining consciousness shortly after, how your helmet screen is cracked, face bloodied, yet you still tried to reach a hand out towards him. he remembers how you tried to shuffle towards him, and him to you, before you eventually got slower, your arm lowering, and how you laid limp, only a few centimetres before him.

he remembers being in the hospital, waiting for you, asking the doctors, nurses, his family and friends about you, only to get the same answer each time — “she’s resting.” he remembers the day you died, the same day he got discharged from the hospital, and immediately went to visit you.

he remembers hearing the monotonous beep of the machine beside you, and how his world comes crashing down, how he begins to realise it was all his fault. he should’ve never made you sneak out on such a rainy night, he should’ve slowed down when you begged him to, he should’ve just stayed in your room with you that night like he had done before.

he remembers how weeks after your funeral, he got out of bed late at night, and decided to go to your house, your room, and climbing up your house to get into your room, because you had always kept the window open for him. he remembers going into your drawers to get his clothes out, before laying in your bed, muttering to himself, saying your name, calling you baby, all before he had gotten caught by your parents.

“i-i’m sorry, i know it’s my fault, i don’t know what came over me mr and mrs l/n, i’m sorry, i’ll go-“ he breaks out into a violent sob, before getting up and trying to leave through your window, only to be stopped by your father.

“stop.” satoru turns around, with eyes like a puppy. “stay for the night, you can sleep here.” and your father walks off, with your mother following suit, after closing the for satoru, and telling him sweet dreams.

your parents knew how much you loved satoru, how happy he made you, no matter how much of a bad influence he was. they knew how much he brought light to your eyes, how you would rather disappear forever than be in a world without satoru, because he defined you, and a world without him was a world without you. no matter how much your father disapproved of the gojou boy, he knew that satoru was always going to be the one for you, in this life and the next.

satoru sniffles, looking around your room, how cold and empty it felt. even if it was full of memories and photos and posters that represented, the room was shallow, yet so spacious and deep, all because it lacked you. satoru looks at the polaroids of you and your friends taped above your desk, and notices a press dried flower besides it, with a label underneath that wrote “first date with satoru <3”, and satoru breaks all over again. you consumed him, yet you weren’t around, and that was the worst part.

and it’s at this point, satoru absolutely knows for sure, a world without you, is a world without him.

Crooked Memory

a/n: sorry, kinda bad but i was listening to nomad by clairo on repeat whilst listening to this i think i definitely cldve worded this whole thing better

©️ tora-ken 2024

  • bellasbooks11
    bellasbooks11 liked this · 9 months ago
  • valerie13
    valerie13 liked this · 9 months ago
  • pirioqu
    pirioqu liked this · 9 months ago
  • satorugh
    satorugh liked this · 9 months ago
  • mythicalsongbird
    mythicalsongbird liked this · 9 months ago
  • sparklesmingi
    sparklesmingi liked this · 9 months ago
  • ashtreegrove247
    ashtreegrove247 liked this · 9 months ago
  • springtearss
    springtearss liked this · 9 months ago
  • shiviwrites07
    shiviwrites07 liked this · 9 months ago
  • shogun-52
    shogun-52 liked this · 9 months ago
  • chaccoseok
    chaccoseok liked this · 9 months ago
  • hoshsites
    hoshsites liked this · 9 months ago
  • kirbyfour
    kirbyfour liked this · 9 months ago
  • himi009
    himi009 liked this · 9 months ago
  • lazyloverblaze
    lazyloverblaze liked this · 9 months ago
  • iammaybealive
    iammaybealive liked this · 9 months ago
  • kittsoraxx
    kittsoraxx liked this · 9 months ago
  • backatchuu
    backatchuu liked this · 9 months ago
  • 6ma7
    6ma7 liked this · 9 months ago
  • minamisa1
    minamisa1 liked this · 9 months ago
  • pinqueen456
    pinqueen456 liked this · 9 months ago
  • iamfranziska
    iamfranziska reblogged this · 9 months ago
  • iamfranziska
    iamfranziska liked this · 9 months ago
  • haz3lsstuff
    haz3lsstuff liked this · 9 months ago
  • elernity
    elernity reblogged this · 9 months ago
  • elernity
    elernity liked this · 9 months ago
  • jiupark
    jiupark reblogged this · 9 months ago
  • jiupark
    jiupark liked this · 9 months ago
  • tsnoweet
    tsnoweet liked this · 9 months ago
  • ireadwhatever
    ireadwhatever liked this · 9 months ago
  • sarichogirl
    sarichogirl liked this · 9 months ago
  • firefistswifeyy
    firefistswifeyy liked this · 9 months ago
  • neptlovesu
    neptlovesu liked this · 9 months ago
  • belovedpeony
    belovedpeony liked this · 9 months ago
  • iwasdoll
    iwasdoll liked this · 9 months ago
  • nairieaese
    nairieaese liked this · 9 months ago
  • kiki1626
    kiki1626 liked this · 9 months ago
  • stariepie
    stariepie liked this · 9 months ago
  • gojoskitty
    gojoskitty liked this · 9 months ago
  • shaytoru
    shaytoru liked this · 9 months ago
  • bajbbq
    bajbbq liked this · 9 months ago
  • bluesnowyowl
    bluesnowyowl liked this · 9 months ago
  • scaratopia
    scaratopia liked this · 9 months ago
  • 3xempted
    3xempted liked this · 9 months ago
  • peachypink45
    peachypink45 liked this · 9 months ago
  • willowoldnest
    willowoldnest liked this · 9 months ago
  • stanstraykids0208
    stanstraykids0208 liked this · 9 months ago
  • aishies-stuff
    aishies-stuff liked this · 9 months ago
  • zherryxtar
    zherryxtar liked this · 9 months ago
  • sushiwuu
    sushiwuu liked this · 9 months ago

More Posts from Tora-ken

9 months ago

cutest funniest drabble i love it my heart is warming

Imagine being mad at Satoru, and you both are sitting in the back of the car as Ichiji drives. The atmosphere was tense, and Satoru kept trying to hold your hand the whole time.

"Stop it, Satoru."

He had your hand in his by this point. Your fingers getting intertwined in the process after he wrestles with your fist for a moment to get your fingers to open. It was obvious he wasn't letting you go with the amount of grip he had the moment he got your hand where he wanted, so you did the next best thing. You jutted your fingers out.

He glared at you then before grabbing your fingers with his free hand and pushing them back down so your fingers were interlocking with his own again. Then, in the side of the door, he pulled out some tape.

"Satoru-"

He ignored you as he placed the end of the tape on the back of his hand that was still holding onto yours, and before you could jerk away he started to rapidly cover your intertwined hands in tape.

"There," he said, "we may be fighting, but you're not letting go of my hand."

"You're so infuriating sometimes! What if I have to pee?!"

"We're peeing together then."


Tags :
9 months ago

u ate w this one

i won't cry for you

I Won't Cry For You

gojo x wife!reader

look at you, wiping your own tears with the same hands that long to be held.

I Won't Cry For You

You sighed loudly. Your lips pulled in a tight line as you stared up at the ceiling. Its been seven months. Seven whole months to being married to the one and only Gojo Satoru, and he hasn’t even looked at you.

No… that’s not true.

When you both are in the same room, he takes notice of your presence. You aren’t invisible. You know that much, but…it’s like when he looks at you, talks to you, or is forced to acknowledge you…it’s like he doesn’t see you at all. As if his six eyes are working overtime just not to recognize you.

And it hurts.

It hurts more than you describe.

To not be loved or wanted.

It hurts.

You were sure that if you were to disappear suddenly, then no one would bother to look for you. No one would care. No one would remember. Your presence was simply there. You disappearing wouldn’t change a thing.

Wait, that wasn’t true either.

If you disappeared. Maybe left your wedding ring and a stack of divorce papers, you were sure it would bring a smile to Gojo’s face.

Sighing to yourself, you decided to finally get up for the day. Gojo was most likely at Jujutsu Tech or on a mission.

Ever since that night of your marriage and that one kiss you both shared, you thought that maybe he wasn’t as disappointed as you previously thought, but his distance to you proved otherwise.

You mindlessly walked to the kitchen, ever since you got married to him there have been a few maids here and there bustling around the Gojo estate, but Gojo Satoru liked his privacy, so the maids always seem to disappear when he isn’t around. Not that you mind. Even if your suspicions of him fooling around with the maids is true, well, what would you have expected anyway? It wasn’t like he loved you. That much was for sure.

You opened the fridge and browsed the selection before sighing once again and closing it. Lately you haven’t been hungry. The first months of stress eating seemingly gone from your system as now food just doesn’t sound good anymore.

You felt your phone buzz in your pocket.

Pulling it out, you saw a text from Yaga.

‘Emergency mission, take care of the special grade, won’t you?’

You sent a quick reply saying you will take care of it before going back to your room to get changed.

“If I’m lucky, then I’ll die on this mission…”

I Won't Cry For You

You didn’t die. In fact, the cursed spirit died too easily, even for a special grade. You pulled out your phone, your finger hovering over the call button on Ijichi’s name. If you call him than that would mean reporting the mission and then going back to the Gojo estate. And Gojo himself may be at the school giving his own reports or is already at home…

You went to your message’s and to Yaga’s name.

‘Mission complete, going into town to relax. Don’t bother sending Ijichi for me. See you at work tomorrow.’

You sent the message a moment later and clicked your phone off, and when you did, your stomach let out a growl.

You were finally hungry.

You smiled at that, maybe being stuck in that estate was making you lose your appetite?

“I wonder what would be good to eat…?”

You pondered the thought for a moment before settling on sushi. It’s been a while and you deserve the expensive meal. At least that’s what you thought. Besides, you have your own money, and even though you aren’t as rich as your husband, you can afford it.

So you set off for the best sushi place you could find, though… when you got there, you were saddened at the fact that Gojo and his students seemed to have the same idea.

Following the server, you maneuvered to a single seat, you stared out of the corner of your eye at Gojo, Megumi, Kugisaki, and Itadori. They were laughing and poking fun at each other. Megumi kept that cool facade while Kugisaki made a disgusted face at what Itadori was saying, and Gojo was… smiling. Something he never did with you.

Good for him.

“What would you like ma’am?”

You turned your attention and smiled at the waiter. He seemed nice as he spoke to you, had a polite smile, and was quite good-looking too. If you were single you would be ever so daring to ask him out, but…

You gave him your order and he nodded while jotting it down while also leaving to fetch your drink.

“Finally got out of bed today?”

You felt your whole body freeze over when you felt Gojo slide into the chair next to you.

Sighing for the umpteenth time that day, your smile was quick to dissipate as you glanced over at your husband. He was smiling at you, something he only ever did in public, but… the usual tense smile he gave you felt oddly different than usual.

“If Yaga didn’t call me out on a mission, then I would still be at your estate,” you said simply.

“Our estate,” he amended, “it’s yours too.”

“…right…”

“Ma’am, your drink,” your waiter said politely as he set your cold beverage in front of you, “and, pardon my rudeness, but is this man bothering you?”

The waiter gave Gojo a side glance, the obvious dislike to your husband as clear as day. How cute, the waiter actually cares.

But whatever.

You waved your hand dismissively, “He’s my husband, he bothers me all the time.”

Gojo guffawed at your reply as the waiter seemed momentarily surprised at the word husband but nodded nonetheless and told you that your order would be out soon before taking his leave.

“Do I really bother you that much?!”

You looked at Gojo, his expression just didn’t sit right with you. He never acted so hyper or like a dork with you before. Not once. You got to see him act in such a way with everyone else but yourself.

“To be honest… you don’t bother me enough,” you said as you relaxed in your seat finally, “now, is there a reason why you came over here? Usually, you ignore my very existence out in public, so you kind of took me off guard.”

Gojo regarded you for a moment, “guess I just wanted to talk to you.”

“What for?”

“Heard you got assigned to an emergency mission. I guess I was preparing myself to come save you.”

“You do realize that I can take care of special grades just fine, right?”

Gojo shrugged, “you seem kind of weak to me.”

“Everyone seems weak to you. Besides, if I really did need help would you actually come save me?”

“Of course.”

Bullshit.

“Right, well, if that ever happens, then please don’t.”

“Huh? Why?”

The waiter came out with your food finally. He asked you if you needed anything else, but you declined. The waiter left you both alone once again.

“Why-“

“Just let me die.”

Despite his eyes being covered, you could tell he was frowning.

“You wouldn’t cry for me, so don’t bother.”


Tags :
9 months ago

Help me until we get out of Gaza. The situation has become unbearable. Help me before it is too late

please help in any way you can


Tags :
9 months ago

Palestine Masterlist 

Introduction to Palestine: 

Decolonize Palestine:

Palestine 101

Rainbow washing 

Frequently asked questions 

Myths 

IMEU (Institute for Middle East Understanding):

Quick Facts - The Palestinian Nakba 

The Nakba and Palestinian Refugees 

The Gaza Strip

The Palestinian catastrophe (Al-Nakba)

Al-Nakba (documentary)

The Hundred Years’ War on Palestine: A History of Settler Colonialism and Resistance, 1917-2017 (book)

The Ethnic Cleansing of Palestine (book)

Nakba Day: What happened in Palestine in 1948? (Article)

The Nakba did not start or end in 1948 (Article)

Donations and charities: 

Al-Shabaka

Electronic Intifada 

Adalah Justice Project 

IMEU Fundraiser 

Medical Aid for Palestinians 

Palestine Children’s Relief Fund 

Addameer

Muslim Aid

Palestine Red Crescent

Gaza Mutual Aid Patreon

Books:

A New Critical Approach to the History of Palestine

The Idea of Israel: A History of Power and Knowledge

Hidden Histories: Palestine and the Eastern Mediterranean

The Balfour Declaration: Empire, the Mandate and Resistance in Palestine

Queer Palestine and the Empire of Critique

From Haven to Conquest: Readings in Zionism and the Palestine Problem until 1948

Captive Revolution - Palestinian Women’s Anti-Colonial Struggle within the Israeli Prison System

Palestine: A Four Thousand Year History

Except for Palestine: The Limits of Progressive Politics

Before Their Diaspora: A Photographic History of The Palestinians 1876-1948

The Battle for Justice in Palestine Paperback

Uncivil Rites: Palestine and the Limits of Academic Freedom

Palestine Rising: How I survived the 1948 Deir Yasin Massacre

The Transformation of Palestine: Essays on the Origin and Development of the Arab-Israeli Conflict

A Land Without a People: Israel, Transfer, and the Palestinians 1949-1996

The Iron Cage: The Story of the Palestinian Struggle for Statehood

A History of Modern Palestine: One Land, Two Peoples

Where Now for Palestine?: The Demise of the Two-State Solution

Terrorist Assemblages - Homonationalism in Queer Times

Militarization and Violence against Women in Conflict Zones in the Middle East

The one-state solution: A breakthrough for peace in the Israeli-Palestinian deadlock

The Persistence of the Palestinian Question: Essays on Zionism and the Palestinians

Fateful Triangle: The United States, Israel and the Palestinians

The False Prophets of Peace: Liberal Zionism and the Struggle for Palestine

Ten myths about Israel

Blaming the Victims: Spurious Scholarship and the Palestinian Question

Israel and its Palestinian Citizens - Ethnic Privileges in the Jewish State

Palestinians in Israel: Segregation, Discrimination and Democracy

Greater than the Sum of Our Parts: Feminism, Inter/Nationalism, and Palestine

Palestine Hijacked 

Palestinian Culture:

Mountain against the Sea: Essays on Palestinian Society and Culture

Palestinian Costume

Traditional Palestinian Costume: Origins and Evolution

Tatreez & Tea: Embroidery and Storytelling in the Palestinian Diaspora

Embroidering Identities: A Century of Palestinian Clothing (Oriental Institute Museum Publications)

The Palestinian Table (Authentic Palestinian Recipes)

Falastin: A Cookbook

Palestine on a Plate: Memories from My Mother’s Kitchen

Palestinian Social Customs and Traditions

Palestinian Culture before the Nakba

Tatreez & Tea (Website)

The Traditional Clothing of Palestine

The Palestinian thobe: A creative expression of national identity

Embroidering Identities:A Century of Palestinian Clothing

Palestine Traditional Costumes

Palestine Family 

Palestinian Costume

Encyclopedia of World Dress and Fashion, v5: Volume 5: Central and Southwest Asia

Tent Work in Palestine: A Record of Discovery and Adventure

Documentaries, Films, and Video Essays:

Jenin, Jenin

Born in Gaza

GAZA 

Wedding in Galilee 

Omar

5 Broken Cameras

OBAIDA

Indigeneity, Indigenous Liberation, and Settler Colonialism (not entirely about Palestine, but an important watch for indigenous struggles worldwide - including Palestine)

Edward Said - Reflections on Exile and Other Essays

Palestine Remix: 

AL NAKBA

Gaza Lives On

Gaza we are coming

Lost cities of Palestine 

Stories from the Intifada 

Last Shepherds of the Valley

Voices from Gaza

Muhammad Smiry

Najla Shawa

Nour Naim

Wael Al dahdouh

Motaz Azaiza

Ghassan Abu Sitta

Refaat Alareer (murdered by Israel - 12/7/2023. Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un)

Plestia Alaqad

Bisan Owda

Ebrahem Ateef

Mohammed Zaanoun

Doaa Mohammad

Hind Khoudary

Palestinian Voices, Organizations, and News 

Boycott Divest and Sanction (BDS)

Defense for Children in Palestine

Palestine Legal 

Palestine Action

Palestine Action US

United Nations relief and works for Palestinian refugees in the Middle East (UNRWA)

National Students for Justice in Palestine (SJP)

Times of Gaza

Middle East Eye

Middle East Monitor

Mohammed El-Kurd

Muna El-Kurd 

Electronic Intifada 

Dr. Yara Hawari 

Mariam Barghouti

Omar Ghraieb

Steven Salaita

Noura Erakat

The Palestinian Museum N.G.

Palestine Museum US

Artists for Palestine UK 

Eye on Palestine 

10 months ago

got a youth of may inspired angst kinda rant with gojo if anyone wants to know hehe

(tw. cheating? (not on mc) death, injuries, kinda toxic idk)

Gojo’s a Lieutenant General in military and you’re his favourite nurse, obvious reason, you’re his girlfriend of 3 years. You both met during your stay in medical school and his 3 week training for medical assistance - dates and hard fucking were what sprouted this love. Your the first nurse he calls when he’s injured, he always comes to your office during your lunch break if he has time, and he always kisses you and his promise ring when he leaves for a mission domestically or internationally.

But things started to change when your branch was sent to a city where martial law was declared, and Gojo had to stay because a Lieutenant General was already placed for duty there. You both did your best in keeping contact, but with the amount of shifts you were put on due to military violence held you back in the hallways of the hospital. Misunderstandings happen as Gojo worries over your long absences and you worry during your shifts at the hospital on whether or not if you should talk to him - would it end up being an argument? You stop texting and he’s at his wits end. That’s until your cousin, also a nurse back at home, started becoming your emissary because of your turmoil.

It hurts me but Gojo starts to become attached to your cousin, starting to enjoy her company more than what she initially came to tell him about you. But Gojo wouldn’t pursue her if he was still with you - you’re still precious to him, you’re still someone he loves, so he breaks it off over the phone.

“Is it her?” - “…Yeah,”

“Why her?” - “She’s here.”

You don’t hear from her or him after that, you figure she feels out of place to talk to you now that she’s somewhat got feelings for her cousins ex boyfriend. And Satoru, you figure he’s wallowing in a pit of shame, although it must not as deep as you expect since he wasn’t scared to say it over the phone, or keep it secret for a bit at home (you don’t think you want to call that city home anymore)

“Shoko told me there’s not much they hide over there,” Suguru’s voice is soft, you don’t want his pity - but you rethink it when his next words come out cautiously it sends an uncomfortable tremor in you.

“…She also said he doesn’t wear his ring anymore,”

Blah Blah Blah, time goes on. You try to work on yourself but with such little time on your hands, there’s only so much you can do for yourself. But Suguru helps the best he can, he’s a good friend - almost too good that your chest doesn’t tremble with sadness when he starts to talk about Satoru and your cousins status (he only does it when you ask, and he makes sure to double check if you’re really sure he can talk about - ‘she’s ranked up, she sits in your old office now’ ‘Shoko growled them off the other day for spilling disinfectant over the infirmary floor, she called them ugly hounds’)

There’s a big city commotion that happens, and martial law calls for back up. Overnight, reinforcements are sent over.

Gojo happens to stumble into your infirmary with a dislocated shoulder, his head held down low as he sits on the bed, his mind screams about the nostalgia of it all. You walk in and grimace a bit, then heave out a sigh. It’s silent on your part, you only give him sharp answers when he asks how you’ve been and if you’ve been doing ok. Satoru feels his stomach backflip when he feels your touch across his shoulder, collarbone and chest, your hands feel like fire but so soft simultaneously. He also feels something cold, and it makes him shiver, he looks down - your promise ring.

“Don’t feel so special, I wasn’t going to let this dust up in my drawer, it’s a nice ring.”

When you leave, you bump into your cousin who looks frantic. It’s awkward until she asks where he is, you point to the closed curtain and she leaves with a bitter taste in her throat (she was there on sight ready to help him, but he had already asked for your assistance out of instinct)

Gojo resumes his duties, but this time, he stays here. Suguru says it’s because the other Lieutenant generals wife just had their first born so he went back home.

After the first city commotion, more happens, the people are restless. You understand them, it’s not nice law abiding a more corrupt ‘government.’ Gojo too, he doesn’t like how the higher ups order so much violence against the public, but to save face for his position he stays quiet. You don’t. You join the people and Satoru watches.

It’s now routine to always bump into him. Your cousin now works at your hospital, so you’re bound to see him when he comes to visit and pick her up if he can. He tries to befriend you, but you don’t want that.

Satoru sees you forget your ID one day when entering the hospital in casual clothes, the soldiers at the door must be new because they start to become aggressive. You’re shoved on the floor and before you could be slapped, Gojo steps in and takes it on his shoulder - his injured shoulder.

And that’s how you end up hold an ice bag on the swelling area of his shoulder. Satoru uses his thumb to smoothe out your eyebrows, saying how you’re scary with a glare. And when you finally look up, you see his dog tag is paired with his promise ring, when you ask about it he says, “Didn’t have the heart to throw it in my draw as well,”

This is where things start to get confusing with our lovebirds? Gojo is being confusing; he likes you cousin, he really does, but he thinks he still loves you, and Y/N won’t open up to him about the possibility of dating him again because of how poisonous it is to think about how they ended before.

Satoru decides for the both of you when he comes back for a checkup and lets it slip that he misses you, and when you look up, he kisses you, his hand cradling your hand with the promise ring and pulling it against his chest to connect it with his.

However, you don’t take kindly to his actions and slap him after. He whispers he loves you when you leave. After leaving himself, he goes over to his girlfriend’s apartment and apologises.

“Why?” - “She’s here now, and that’s all I needed”

You do your best at pushing him away, but he’s persistent. It starts to annoy you that you beg your superior to change your shifts, but no matter what, he’s always there like shadow.

“Y/N,” he says sternly, but you don’t falter in your haste to seem against the idea, “7PM, tonight,”

“I can’t leave until 9,” - “7PM, I’ll carry you if I have to,”

You get carried out at 7PM but the date is cut short after a curfew was set at 8PM, Satoru says he didn’t know about this. The 2 dates you go to after the first is not out of your will, but you would say the ones after aren’t.

It’s after a month when Satoru says he loves you again, and this time to your face. You think it’s because of how damn serious everything is starting to crumble, he came back to the infirmary a week ago with a very nasty concussion and gashes and there was a sliver of panic in him that he wouldn’t make it without telling you how much you meant to him. So he confessed to you the week after.

“I know you don’t have the answer right now, come back to me tomorrow night and I’ll wait for you, always,”

You don’t give him an answer, mind too muddled after a change of events these past couple of months, but you give him your ring as a promise that you will come back if not tomorrow, and he gives his to you as a reminder that you always have a part of his heart. You leave his room after that, and when you do, you notice it’s past curfew. The rural areas of the city are quite scary to walk by, especially the trees.

Long story short, you see a kid in the woods afraid of making their way home because of how brutal they’ve come to realise the military men were, you do your best in walking them out but get shut down when a soldier drives past and sees your white uniform in within the trees. He’s yelling, calling you a traitor for conspiring with the public with such suspicion. You tell the kid to run when you stand up and he does, your hands are lifted and you turn around when the soldier spots the kid disappear into the trees.

He shoots you in the chest, you think it pierced your lung, and you drop to the ground. He leaves you in that woods but you’re just thankful he didn’t pursue that precious child into the woods. Your chest heaves with heartbreak each shallow breath you take - Satoru, your eyelids feel heavy the more you take a breath. You love him, despite it all, you love Satoru - always have, always did.

Your eyes reach the sky, it’s flimmering with birght stars. You think if you concentrate hard enough, it’ll show you the cosmos that are in Satoru’s eyes. You take the ring out of your pocket and do you best with one hand to slide it on your ring finger.

“I do, Satoru, I do.”

You do love him, and you think broadly if he had asked for your hand you would’ve replied the same as well.

It’s 4 years after you disappeared - only Satoru thinks that, but others beg to differ. After the martial law was overrun in that city, violence was eradicated and Satoru decided to no longer pursue his fight as a military man - that time of his life showed him that being a part of the military wasn’t what his morals were - plus it wasn’t what you wanted too.

After you hadn’t showed the night after, he clutched your ring tightly to manifest that you would come back to him someday - but he didn’t mean 3 years later.

“It’s - It’s her, they found her,” Suguru whispers, and Satoru stops. Time stops for him, everything stops.

Satoru is brave, the bravest soldier his superior would preach about, but he isn’t brave enough to see what was left of you. So he clutches the ring that was found with you, his wails come violently like his soul is being ripped from him. Your cousin is the only one to comfort him, she’s no longer bitter about everything because if that didn’t happen she wouldn’t have met her now husband and son. So she comforts him as a thank you.

After a month, Satoru visits your grave. He weeps at your photo, his body curled on the grass; he’ll never see you again, he’ll never remind you how his love bleeds for you every time, and he’ll never know what you wanted to say that night.

He loved you for three years, still loved you for another and will forever love you until he gets to greet you again.

His dog tag dangles with both your rings.

“I’ll keep these clean for you for the next time I see you, my love, wait for me okay?”